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All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s06e08 Drew And Kate Become Friends

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:03,980 Stupid. No, it's not. 2 00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:07,280 Pictionary is just the thing to get your mind off your breakup with Kate. Yeah, 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:10,980 you gotta get your mind off Kate. All right. A little rough, but here it goes. 4 00:00:13,260 --> 00:00:14,260 It's a movie. 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,980 Kate? No, you idiot. It was a Poseidon adventure. 6 00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:31,900 Oh, man, you got it bad. 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:40,000 How can you be so insensitive to draw a picture of Kate when you know what he's 8 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:40,919 going through? 9 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:41,920 You too. 10 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,720 Who is this? Ernest Borgnine. Thank you. 11 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:55,300 Okay, I'll just mess with you guys. I don't... I haven't been thinking about 12 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:56,300 Kate anymore. 13 00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:59,020 As a matter of fact, I don't need any women. I don't even fantasize about her, 14 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,020 Mike. I've learned to pleasure myself to images of nature. 15 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,500 So that's why the birdbath has been so eerily quiet. 16 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:18,040 Hey, Drew, check out this commercial. They're putting a pizza on top of 17 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,040 pizza. 18 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,880 They must have gotten your sketches. 19 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:25,040 Drew, what's the matter? 20 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,900 Kate? Kate gave this vegetable to me. 21 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:34,540 What is it? I don't know. 22 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:38,860 Oh, I hate to be in pain. 23 00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,260 Hey, remember what our little league coach used to say, huh? Drink it off, 24 00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:43,340 buddy. 25 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,460 It's all I have left of her. 26 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,520 I want it inside me. 27 00:01:57,070 --> 00:01:58,610 She told me he was going to be filled with chocolate. 28 00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:03,370 I thought you said you were over Kate. 29 00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:04,870 Yeah, you're taking it pretty hard. 30 00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:08,110 It wasn't like any old girlfriend. She was my best friend, too, you know. 31 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:11,090 Well, if you want to go back to being friends, you've got to get over the 32 00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,290 girlfriend thing, which means you have to move on to another lady. 33 00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:17,290 He's right. As soon as you sleep with someone else, you won't think of Kate as 34 00:02:17,290 --> 00:02:18,890 girlfriend anymore. She'll just be a friend again. 35 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,450 If there's one thing I'm good at, it's fixing people up. 36 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:24,550 All you have to do is tell me what you're looking for in the perfect mate. 37 00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:26,500 Hello, hubby, I'm home. 38 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,140 Hubby, what's going on? 39 00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:31,720 Uh, can you guys explain that to me? 40 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,980 Yeah, well, Mr. Wick needed his green card, so he and Drew got married in 41 00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:38,840 Vermont. Uh -huh, and in return, Mr. Wick gave Drew his job back. 42 00:02:39,060 --> 00:02:42,860 And now Wick has to move in until the INF stops checking up on him. 43 00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:46,780 See, this is why I stopped watching my soaps. I miss one day, and I'm just 44 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:48,580 Now, 45 00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,680 I'm just going to move in a few of my things. You won't even know I'm here, 46 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,700 right? So long. 47 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,640 Do we really need a giant harp to prove we're gay? 48 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,660 For your information, I've been playing the harp since I was a boy. 49 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:05,940 Now you tell me something. 50 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:07,480 What's gay about this? 51 00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:15,380 This part. 52 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:21,480 Oh, 53 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,200 this energy car. 54 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:28,920 comes from. 55 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,800 It's such a crude attitude. 56 00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:34,740 It's back where it belongs. 57 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:42,500 All the little chicks with the crimson lips go sleeveling rock, sleeveling 58 00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:45,920 living in sin where the safety net goes. 59 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,360 Ta -da! 60 00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:03,820 Hey, what do you got there? 61 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,320 It's a magic kit. 62 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,240 It's going to help me make women appear. 63 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:12,780 I saw that infomercial. I can't believe you're stupid enough to pay 50 bucks for 64 00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:18,240 it. Oh, yeah? Who's stupid? Me or the guy with an egg in his ear? 65 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,460 Excuse me, miss. Looks like you've had a rough day. Would you like some flowers? 66 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,820 Oh, they're sweet. 67 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,480 Not as sweet as the song from this bird. 68 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,280 Oh, nothing in the box? 69 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,920 The amazing Oswaldo will make it appear. 70 00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:44,820 Oh, God! 71 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,480 Who knew you had to feed a magic bird? 72 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,160 Bill? Good. Can I get some breakfast? 73 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,720 Kate, it's 8 o 'clock at night. 74 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,300 Not to me. 75 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,400 I've been so depressed about the breakup, I've slept this whole Monday 76 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:09,980 It's Wednesday. 77 00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,720 No wonder I woke up and peed for 10 minutes. 78 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,660 Hey, listen, here's my ticket to the Browns game. You guys go without me. 79 00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:22,000 be weird if I was there with Drew. 80 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:26,180 Oh, uh... I'd hang on to that ticket if I were you. I have a feeling you guys 81 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,980 are going to be friends again real soon. 82 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:33,740 Why do you say that? 83 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:39,240 Well, we told Drew that he should move on by having sex with another woman. You 84 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,500 should try the same thing, but with a... No. 85 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,000 You should try the same thing. 86 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,240 You idiots. 87 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,040 Why would you say something like that? Did he listen to you? 88 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,080 Oh, yeah, I think he's going out tonight. You'd be surprised what kind of 89 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,080 control we have over him now that you're not around. 90 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,260 Yeah, he's like a big weepy robot. 91 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,600 Danger, danger, I heard inside. 92 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,500 Oh, my God, we just broke up. He's already replacing me? 93 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,620 I'm going to kill him. 94 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,160 We should probably warn Drew, shouldn't we? Yeah, we should do a lot of things. 95 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:47,600 city, smiling at everybody she sees. 96 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:53,800 Who's reaching out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Wendy. 97 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:42,610 Damn, this house did need a harp. 98 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:48,830 So, lonely hunter, how's your heart? Well, I'm not ready to hit the bars yet, 99 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:51,050 I'm just checking through the personals. What's that when you get circled there? 100 00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:52,230 Oh, that's just a maybe. 101 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:58,030 600 -pound shut -in seeks lover, friend, or kidney? 102 00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:02,890 Well, I figure I'm halfway there. She's already in bed. 103 00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:09,770 Do you even throw away the personal ads? Because I have got the woman for you. 104 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,030 She's smart. 105 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,580 She's beautiful, and she's going to meet us for drinks in, oh, ten minutes. Come 106 00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:18,960 on, let's get going. Wait, wait, wait. Is she more or less beautiful than Mimi? 107 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,500 No one's more beautiful than Mimi. 108 00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:25,220 In that case, I'm going to call the 600 -pound shut -in. 109 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,200 I'm telling you, she's your type. 110 00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:32,140 You're going to be sorry if you don't come and meet her. When you're on your 111 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:34,780 deathbed, you're not going to say, gee, I wish I spent more time at home 112 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,240 listening to my husband play the harp. 113 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,720 Come on, Drew, wouldn't you rather stay home and have some popcorn? 114 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,860 Hello, Wembley! 115 00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:03,480 Where's Drew? I need to talk to him. 116 00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:05,180 He's not here. 117 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,520 Worthy, where'd he go? 118 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:11,460 Well, I'm afraid right now he's probably the all -you -can -eat buffet of... 119 00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:14,240 another woman. 120 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,460 So he's doing it. He's actually going out with another woman. 121 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,920 I'm too late. 122 00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:26,740 Oh, 123 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:29,880 you poor thing. 124 00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:33,500 You poor, vulnerable thing. 125 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:54,270 Cocktail? Don't worry, I'm sure it won't last. I mean, what could Drew possibly 126 00:09:54,270 --> 00:09:59,550 have in common with a 22 -year -old, unusually large -breasted Asian swimsuit 127 00:09:59,550 --> 00:10:00,550 model? 128 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,140 Didn't I tell you? Wow, 129 00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:18,300 she's beautiful. 130 00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:22,460 Yes, although there is one problem with her. Yeah, she's over there and I'm over 131 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:23,460 here. 132 00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:29,160 Hi. Jenny, this is Drew, my baby brother. 133 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:31,100 Nice to meet you. 134 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:32,800 You're right, Steve. 135 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,200 I like my men big and hairy. 136 00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,360 I got all the hair you want, baby. 137 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,620 Steve, where'd you get such a delightful creature? 138 00:10:41,100 --> 00:10:43,300 Get your hoof off my cousin, pig! 139 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:49,840 Oh, my God. You're related to Mimi? No wonder you like big, hairy things. 140 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:53,540 Sweetie, what are you doing here? 141 00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:57,700 Jenny told me you were setting her up with somebody, and I had a bad feeling. 142 00:10:58,880 --> 00:10:59,880 Why don't you move along? 143 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:03,780 The menu says they serve pork, but that doesn't mean they serve pork. 144 00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:08,600 I just thought it would be nice if Drew and Jenny could meet. They're both 145 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:11,440 coming off bad breakups. They'll comfort each other. 146 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,980 Oh, big dope. You know Jenny. 147 00:11:15,450 --> 00:11:18,570 She only knows how to comfort a man one way, and that's at the comfort inn. 148 00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:20,970 Look who's talking. 149 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:22,930 Who showed me the ropes? 150 00:11:23,270 --> 00:11:25,470 And the chains and the leather mask? 151 00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:29,430 You have a leather mask? Can you wear that? 152 00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:38,510 See how he treats me? Do you want to waste all your God -given Bobeck talent 153 00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:43,950 that? Hey, wait a minute. You can't tell me who I can and cannot sleep with. 154 00:11:44,350 --> 00:11:45,430 Wow, you're going to sleep with me? 155 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,970 You're going to sleep with him over my dead body? 156 00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:51,790 Oh, my God, I'm having the best day. 157 00:11:57,130 --> 00:12:00,590 All right, that's it. You know what? Stay out of my business, hag. 158 00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,410 Let's go, Steve. 159 00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:09,570 When I'm through with you, you're not going to be able to sit down for a week. 160 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,330 I'll go get the car. 161 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,600 Gosh, I'm really sorry you had to see that. 162 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,800 You know, Mimi was my role model growing up. 163 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,420 What'd you grow up, Monster Island? 164 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,520 I don't know why she doesn't like you. I mean, you're cute. 165 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,960 And you're fuzzy like a little kiwi. 166 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,300 Yeah? You like that? 167 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:36,420 Yeah, I like that. 168 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:40,700 Glad they're gone. Now we can have a nice white dinner together, you know, 169 00:12:40,700 --> 00:12:41,519 to know each other. 170 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,820 You know, I haven't been with anyone since my ex dumped me a couple months 171 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,870 Oh, gee, I'm sorry to hear that. 172 00:12:48,150 --> 00:12:49,150 That's a long time ago. 173 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:57,170 You know, you should really wear underwear in case you get in an 174 00:13:04,070 --> 00:13:08,410 Just the thought of Drew sleeping with another woman so soon, it's like a knife 175 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:09,410 through my heart. 176 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,850 Don't tell me about my married bastard. 177 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:19,180 It's just that I've known him all my life and I just never thought he would 178 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:20,180 something like this. 179 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,960 You know what? 180 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,660 Maybe I'll just go out and sleep with the first guy I meet. 181 00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:29,380 How do you think he'd like that? 182 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,980 I'll tell you how he'd like that. He wouldn't like that at all. 183 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,920 No. So you know what? 184 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,800 Well, shut up. I'll tell you. 185 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:42,780 I'm going to go out and find a guy. 186 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,760 have an understanding. 187 00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:04,280 Anyways, this is my house. 188 00:14:05,460 --> 00:14:07,060 Well, I've done it worse. 189 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:12,440 So you're not a virgin. That takes the pressure off. 190 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:21,140 Jenny? Just follow the voice to the candy. 191 00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:33,780 Oh, this is different. 192 00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:35,420 Bite me. 193 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,000 What? You heard me. Bite me, Doughboy. Bite me. 194 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,200 Can you not say bite me? That would really help me out. 195 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:48,620 How do you want to do this, huh? 196 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,480 We can go tantric. 197 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,480 We can go missionary, penitentiary. 198 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,080 I don't care as long as you don't say bite me. 199 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,500 Tell me what you want to think a bit and just point to it. 200 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,380 We could go mortuary style. 201 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:12,820 I will lie perfectly still. And you, you're the mortician. You're free to 202 00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:13,820 my body. 203 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,820 You know, one time Mimi and I dated the same guy and he said in the dark he 204 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:28,820 couldn't tell us apart. 205 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:37,640 and maybe a floodlight. 206 00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:41,980 Can you bring back some porn? 207 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,400 Oh, just hit play on the VCR. 208 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:11,920 turn the lights out. 209 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:17,580 All right, but I should warn you that everything is slightly to the left of 210 00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,580 where it should be. 211 00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:26,940 Who's peeping out from under my box as everyone knows it's Willie? 212 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,840 I can't do this to Drew. I can't do this in Drew's house. I'm sorry. 213 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,080 Wait, Kate! 214 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,800 I know you think it's all about sex, but it's not. There's much more than that. 215 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,520 You know, I've always cared for you. I've always had a special place for you 216 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,439 my heart. 217 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,440 And? 218 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,780 And you're getting sleepy. 219 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:57,680 What are you doing here? 220 00:16:58,500 --> 00:16:59,680 I came here to see you. 221 00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:02,700 Well, where do you come from? Which bedroom have you dressed like that? 222 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:06,900 What do you care? From what I hear, you're using my pillow to slide 223 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:07,900 another woman's butt. 224 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,140 I am not. 225 00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:15,319 Condoms? Oh, and one of that Alka -Seltzer was so chewy. 226 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:21,859 Just gonna watch porn by myself all night or what? 227 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,940 You are the worst corpse I've ever seen. 228 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,720 I see the naughty mortician got himself an assistant. 229 00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:34,160 Why is it the third person's never a guy, huh? 230 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,500 Whatever. Come on in. 231 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:53,930 some things you're not used to hearing. 232 00:17:54,430 --> 00:17:56,410 That's right. I think she's going to let me talk dirty. 233 00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:01,990 You ready for some hot sex, you stupid whore? 234 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:07,670 Listen, forget the mortician stuff. I think we can make all the noise you 235 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,170 Oh, good. Then come over here and give me something to scream about. 236 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,390 It's okay. I can do it from here. 237 00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:12,870 Get out of here! 238 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:23,600 There's no noise. That's good. 239 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,880 Nothing shuts up Kate during sex. 240 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,080 Unless she's... Oh, my God! 241 00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:35,900 Kate! Don't do it! You're making a big mistake! 242 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,660 Oh. 243 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,580 What do you think I was going to do? Sleep with Wick? Go back to your date. 244 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:45,900 She's nothing to me. 245 00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:48,500 I was only with her so I could get over you so we could be friends again. 246 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,980 Well, I was only with Wick because I was mad at you for going out with... 247 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:58,700 another girl so fast so you don't want to sleep with wick hell no he's in the 248 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:03,860 room you know you didn't really want to sleep with that sleazy girl did you 249 00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:05,980 we're friends now right 250 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:24,560 I just can't expect her to jump into... Anybody! 251 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:28,460 Go with God. 252 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,000 You know, one of these days we're probably going to start dating other 253 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,180 No, that's never going to happen because your heart is broken and you're never 254 00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,180 going to get over me. 255 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,860 Well, never doesn't really work for me. How about in a month? 256 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,520 I want the love of your life. 257 00:19:46,740 --> 00:19:47,800 How about three months? 258 00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,140 Three months? 259 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,060 Yeah, that's crazy. How about Tuesday? 260 00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,340 Works for me. 261 00:19:53,740 --> 00:19:54,740 Me too. 262 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,780 I missed you. I missed you. 263 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,060 Hey, uh, are we the kind of friends that... No. Oh. 264 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:12,120 Just the thought of you sleeping with another, so... I thought you said you 265 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:12,939 over Kate. 266 00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,100 Yeah, you're taking it pretty hard. 267 00:20:14,340 --> 00:20:20,180 Hey, I'm studying... Hey, I thought you said you were over Kate. 268 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:21,800 Yeah, you're taking it pretty hard. 269 00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:27,730 I miss you too. 270 00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:37,790 So, hey, are we the kind of friends that... No. 271 00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:39,110 Oh. 272 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,930 Maybe just a little bit. All right. 21007