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1
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Mr.
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Wick, what are you doing here?
3
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There are things going on here you're
better off not knowing.
4
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,620
Hey, Drew, what's up with the suitcases?
What's going on?
5
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,630
What have you done to him?
6
00:00:23,631 --> 00:00:27,209
I'd love to help you, really, I would.
But that falls into the category of...
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00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,330
Things you're better off not knowing.
8
00:00:31,570 --> 00:00:34,160
All right, buddy. It's time to get Drew
to talk, huh?
9
00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:36,180
Huh.
10
00:00:38,550 --> 00:00:41,440
Well, I didn't even get anything from
his one good nipple.
11
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Maybe we ought to try someone with two
working nipples.
12
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:52,930
All right, all right. Drew and Kate
split up.
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He wanted kids and she didn't.
14
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:04,030
Oh, Drew, buddy, we had no idea.
15
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That's horrible.
16
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I'm so sorry.
17
00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,310
Oh, hang on. There's a happy ending.
18
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I'm giving him his job back because he's
finally agreed to marry me.
19
00:01:16,570 --> 00:01:17,730
Well, how about that?
20
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Drew, you're the first one of us to get
married.
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00:01:23,090 --> 00:01:24,610
Hey. Hey.
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00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:30,240
Looks like you won the bottle of scotch,
buddy.
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00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:33,060
I'd use it to wash down a bottle of
pills.
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00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:38,380
No, it's only so I can get my green card
and stay in the country.
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We're going to Vermont, where
homosexuals have the same right to ruin
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lives with married and straight people.
Now, we're in a bit of a hurry, so get
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dressed.
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I don't think he wants to get married in
that.
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00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:51,729
I tell you what, when you get a man, you
can dress him, all right? Now, come
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00:01:51,730 --> 00:01:52,780
along.
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00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:54,890
All right.
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00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,790
Come on, kid. Here we go.
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Here we go.
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00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:00,640
Okay.
35
00:02:14,341 --> 00:02:16,799
You're pretty good at that.
36
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,779
Yeah, I've had a lot of experience down
at Drug Co.
37
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Before we put the old test monkeys to
death, we dress them up and tell them
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we're going to make them into people.
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They figured out that when they walk
into that room, there's nothing there
40
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fat guy with a hammer.
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00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:35,519
All right, buddy, you're going through a
tough time now. We're going to help you
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through this.
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Thank you.
44
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,579
How about we go with you? We haven't
been arrested in Vermont yet.
45
00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:42,840
Oh, 48 contiguous.
46
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I'm not spending a whole day in a car
with you two. My friends are coming.
47
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:53,920
Well, I've only made reservations for
two. My friends are coming!
48
00:02:56,970 --> 00:02:58,530
Why must everything be a fight?
49
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:04,540
Wait a minute. Does this mean we have to
get him a gift?
50
00:03:04,541 --> 00:03:08,389
Yeah. What do you get a guy who's lost a
girl of his dreams and is having a gay
51
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:10,980
green card wedding just to get his
crappy job back?
52
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,730
Champagne flutes? You read my mind.
53
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All this energy calling me.
54
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,990
Back where it comes from.
55
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:32,490
It's such a cruise.
56
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:54,439
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
57
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,700
Rocks! Cleveland Rocks! Cleveland Rocks!
Cleveland Rocks!
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Ohio!
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00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:08,780
We may now place the ring on her finger.
60
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,780
Come on, Gary, don't be so glum. This is
our wedding day.
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00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,050
like most of the parents in here.
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00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:22,470
I'm sorry, this is just not how I
pictured this day.
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00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:27,310
I thought I'd be in a church, you know,
with my family, somebody with a vagina.
64
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,810
Here, this will cheer you up.
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00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,860
Here's the ring I want you to give me
during the ceremony.
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00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,950
Wow, that's really beautiful.
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00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:40,490
Yeah, it's cost a fortune.
68
00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:42,610
And here's the ring I'll be giving you.
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00:04:42,611 --> 00:04:47,979
Well, yours may be more expensive, but
mine can get me into the honeycomb
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hideout.
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00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:51,880
Do you believe this?
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00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:55,800
This is not a fantasy. There are two
live lesbians right in front of us.
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00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:58,280
Oh, here comes the kids.
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00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:00,679
I hope one of them fights it. Oh,
they're going to do it. They're going to
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00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,210
it. I really don't need to hear your
voice right now.
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00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:07,380
Very nice.
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Lesbians.
78
00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:11,790
Lesbians.
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00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:19,010
Sir Nigel Wick and Sir Drew Carey. Sir.
80
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,360
Well, I'm not marrying a commoner. Come
on.
81
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:24,470
Penny for your thoughts?
82
00:05:24,510 --> 00:05:26,920
I wish I would have died on the toilet
last night.
83
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:29,680
Welcome, friends.
84
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:33,270
Marriage is the sacred covenant not to
be entered into lightly.
85
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:37,650
It is the joining together of two men...
Come on, come on. We're still gay, huh?
86
00:05:39,530 --> 00:05:40,580
Very well.
87
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,910
Do you, Nigel, Algin, and Wick...
88
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,900
Join with this man in civil union.
89
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:46,710
I do.
90
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:50,880
And you, sir, Drew Allison Carey, join
with this man in civil union.
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00:05:50,881 --> 00:05:55,279
What am I doing? I should be with Kate
right now. This is ridiculous.
92
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,900
Are you having second thoughts?
93
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,710
No, no, of course not. Carey, do you
want the job or not?
94
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,750
That's something I won't do until we're
married.
95
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,560
No one gets milk free from this cow.
96
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,590
Fine, I do.
97
00:06:11,090 --> 00:06:15,489
By the power vested in me by the state
of Vermont, I hereby join you in civil
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00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:18,250
union. Hooray! Time for the honeymoon,
dear!
99
00:06:18,251 --> 00:06:20,029
Thank you, Kelly.
100
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:23,370
I'm finally an American. I can't wait to
get fat and buy guns.
101
00:06:23,371 --> 00:06:28,589
That's just great. I've only been
married a minute, and already my wife
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00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:29,640
get fat and buy a gun.
103
00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:31,730
Are you depressed, buddy?
104
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:34,990
Yeah. I want to be with Kay, and I miss
her so much.
105
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,790
It's like I see her wherever I go.
106
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At the Warsaw, the place she gets her
hair cut.
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The parking garage at her work.
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00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,970
The Howard Johnson where she turns
around when she thinks she's being
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Don't worry, buddy. You'll get over her.
She dumped me on our wedding day and I
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got over her.
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00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,300
Hey, at least you guys made it that far.
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00:06:52,301 --> 00:06:56,259
Closest I've ever come to an altar is
when my Uncle Harlan tried to sacrifice
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to make the crops grow.
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00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,570
Ain't that a hoot? I almost died for
corn.
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00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,870
No, thanks a lot, but I'm never going to
forget Kate.
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I need some air.
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Poor guy.
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00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,940
Yeah. I didn't go through all this
wedding crap.
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I'm next!
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My knapsack on my back.
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I haven't sung that song in years.
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Are you okay, mister?
123
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No. Are you lost?
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I am so lost.
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Have you been going around in circles?
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All my life.
127
00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:55,450
Would you like some hot cocoa?
128
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,310
Yeah, that sounds really nice.
129
00:07:58,550 --> 00:07:59,600
Thanks.
130
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,440
Something's wrong.
131
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,550
The birds don't like my birdhouse.
132
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:05,960
Hey, let me see that.
133
00:08:08,179 --> 00:08:09,229
Oh, scout knife?
134
00:08:09,230 --> 00:08:14,139
Here, what you have to do is, you want
to make this hole just a little bit
135
00:08:14,140 --> 00:08:17,699
bigger so the birds can get in and feed,
but not too big so the squirrels get in
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00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,619
and get their eggs.
137
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:21,539
Or if you want to, just make the hole as
big as you want. Nail a dead squirrel
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to the front of this as a warning to the
other squirrels.
139
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,150
You're no stranger to the brown and
blue, are you, mister?
140
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,330
Good eye, son.
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00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,100
Terry Drew, Trip 11 from Cleveland.
142
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,770
Yeah, I even made weasel scout back in
72.
143
00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:37,289
I saved some campers by luring a bear
away from their campsite.
144
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:39,049
Wow, how'd you do that?
145
00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:42,700
I didn't know it at the time, but I had
a flail fish in my back pocket.
146
00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:46,710
So, are you still scouting? No, I quit.
147
00:08:46,711 --> 00:08:48,049
You quit?
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00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:49,670
Why? I was 25.
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00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:51,330
People were starting to talk.
150
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:56,610
So, how could you just walk away from
the scouts?
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00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:58,480
I was wrong.
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00:08:58,481 --> 00:09:00,389
Bye, Mr.
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00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:01,440
Scouts!
154
00:09:04,450 --> 00:09:05,910
It's never too late, mister.
155
00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:08,370
You can always come back to the Scouts.
156
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:12,900
That's what I can do.
157
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,050
I can be a Scoutmaster.
158
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:20,909
Drew, we found the bed and breakfast
where the lesbians are staying. Yeah, we
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00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,680
rented the room next door and the walls
are paper thick.
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00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:26,790
I want to be a Scoutmaster.
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00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:29,760
Tomorrow.
162
00:09:35,191 --> 00:09:41,079
I'm dressed like this because my troop
is coming by after work.
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00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:45,180
I thought scouts were taught to bury
their crap, not squeeze it into a
164
00:09:45,181 --> 00:09:49,699
You know, Mimi, I'm trying to teach my
troop respect for nature. Do you mind if
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00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:53,550
I bring them by later so I can show them
how the Indians used every part of you?
166
00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:57,140
Five o 'clock. Time to do my kegel
exercises.
167
00:09:57,411 --> 00:09:59,479
What's that?
168
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:00,530
It's my weight.
169
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,580
It's easier to give birth if I buff up
my woman muscles.
170
00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:10,020
This is your warm -up before you pull a
bus?
171
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:17,150
Well, Pig, I do believe you just
complimented my little Mimi.
172
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:23,540
Well, I don't want to get it mad, none
of the slipped and weights.
173
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,530
Hello, hubby. How was your day?
174
00:10:28,090 --> 00:10:29,490
I need the key to your place.
175
00:10:29,491 --> 00:10:32,489
I'm going to have to drop off a few
things. It has to look like we live
176
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:33,970
in case the INS drops by.
177
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:35,690
How come it has to be my house?
178
00:10:35,691 --> 00:10:38,979
Well, my husband's simply too masculine.
Don't worry, I'll just drop off a few
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vain knickknacks.
180
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:44,250
All right, but stay out of my sewing
room. You're not going to sissy that up.
181
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:47,660
What do you say, my little sticky bun?
182
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,780
Now, here's a dating history I've made
up for you to memorize.
183
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:56,940
And use the computer to adopt us some
old photographs of you and me.
184
00:10:57,860 --> 00:11:00,420
Behold the life I have created for us.
185
00:11:05,721 --> 00:11:09,729
Come on, no one's going to believe
that's us.
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00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:12,620
That was 20 years ago when we were
lifting competitively.
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00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:18,729
We met as rivals, and over the course of
a few years, you lured me into
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00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:19,780
homosexuality.
189
00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:26,270
I know it's fake, but I love my big gay
body.
190
00:11:28,490 --> 00:11:29,540
Hey.
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00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,240
Hey.
192
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:32,880
How you doing?
193
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,160
Fine, how you doing?
194
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,109
I'm good.
195
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:39,009
Listen, I heard you got your job back,
so I wanted to give you a little
196
00:11:39,010 --> 00:11:40,570
something to congratulate you.
197
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:46,140
You know, when I bought that, I didn't
know you'd be dressed like a child.
198
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,560
Actually, I'm trying to become a
scoutmaster.
199
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:57,920
Oh, thank God.
200
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,610
I thought you'd lost your mind.
201
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:01,960
Oh, O 'Brien.
202
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,390
I suppose I should thank you.
203
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:09,459
Can you throw a steak this juicy back on
the grill? You know, someone's going to
204
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,510
gobble it up, eh?
205
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:18,920
What the hell was that about?
206
00:12:18,921 --> 00:12:22,679
Well, you know, you always said you'd
love to meet the fool who'd marry Mr.
207
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:23,599
Wick.
208
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,650
Hello, hello, hello.
209
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:27,510
Oh, true.
210
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,120
I'm making some money now. I can pay for
any therapy you need.
211
00:12:31,121 --> 00:12:35,739
Don't worry, it's just a green card
marriage so I can get my job back. The
212
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:37,660
one getting screwed is the government.
213
00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:42,739
Um, you know, when we broke up, there's,
um, something that we didn't talk
214
00:12:42,740 --> 00:12:46,260
about. What do you want to do about
the... Oh, the wedding ring.
215
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,360
Uh, why don't you just keep it?
216
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,020
Oh, thanks. That's sweet, but I wouldn't
feel right.
217
00:12:53,260 --> 00:12:56,240
Well, I'm not too big to admit I could
use the six grand.
218
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,070
You told me eight.
219
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,770
Oh, no, I lied. I hope this doesn't
affect our relationship.
220
00:13:01,771 --> 00:13:07,399
You know, Drew, this was the second
thing you told me was an eight that was
221
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,450
actually a six.
222
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,060
Are you going to be okay?
223
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,580
Yeah. I got a gay life to memorize,
knots to tie.
224
00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:20,230
My plate is full.
225
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:26,399
Oh, yeah, you know, I took up jogging,
and I got stuff to buy for when you jog,
226
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,560
and I got magazines about jogging. I
have to read those.
227
00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,720
And, you know, my plate's full, too.
228
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,010
So, uh...
229
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,340
See ya.
230
00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:35,930
All right, I'll see you around.
231
00:13:39,430 --> 00:13:41,710
Hey, Mr. Carey. Are you okay?
232
00:13:41,990 --> 00:13:43,490
I am now that my scout's here.
233
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,430
Who's that in the forest?
234
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,030
I'm clearing trails for you.
235
00:13:47,031 --> 00:13:47,949
It's Brown.
236
00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:48,969
It's Blue.
237
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:52,630
Friends of the Boots and Caraboo. Trail
scout. Trail scout. Yay!
238
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,850
Okay, let's do the special chant now.
239
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:57,690
Who's that in the office?
240
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,280
Stinking up the place.
241
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,710
Me, me, me, me. Your butt looks like
your face. What the hell are you?
242
00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:08,260
A good scout never insults people.
243
00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,150
That's just the thing, Timmy. It's not
people.
244
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:18,059
You know, kids, Drew's hat's like a
pinata. If you bust it open while he's
245
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:19,680
sleeping, candy comes out.
246
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,680
Actually, blood first, then candy. Keep
hitting.
247
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,940
Hey, Gary, I've got some great news.
248
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,300
You've been promoted to Scoutmaster.
249
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,670
Wow, that's great.
250
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:33,879
Why me?
251
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,680
Well, you signed up and you have a car.
252
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:41,459
To be honest, we had to dismiss
Scoutmaster Doug for violating the Trail
253
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,680
code. And it turns out he's gay.
254
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,120
Wow, what'd he do? Other men.
255
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,140
See, the key to gay is... It's against
our rules.
256
00:14:52,420 --> 00:14:53,470
Oh, that's a shame.
257
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,990
I'm going to miss the Cher impressions
around the old campfire.
258
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,660
Oh, Drew, you're not wearing your ring.
259
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:04,730
You know you should wear it. It's a
symbol of our big day.
260
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,700
What ring was he talking about?
261
00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:14,140
Our Super Bowl ring. We were both on
special teams for the 85 Bears.
262
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,580
Oh, you were in the Super Bowl.
263
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:22,130
Yeah, kids, before steroids, this is
what an athlete looked like.
264
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:28,690
All right, kids, as you know, our first
big campout is tomorrow night.
265
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:33,230
Since you've been so good, I got a
little present for all of you.
266
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:34,920
Now, here, pack these around.
267
00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:37,679
These walkie -talkies are going to help
us keep in touch when we're in the
268
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,979
woods. Now, remember, if anything
happens, all you've got to do is press
269
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,360
button and ask for Papa Bear.
270
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:46,070
And even though these look like toys,
they're for emergency use only.
271
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:59,439
comes a nice lumberjack with a chainsaw
real
272
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:20,079
mature
273
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,130
drew
274
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,910
Time to girly up your house in case the
INS drops by?
275
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,130
Would you shut up?
276
00:16:30,131 --> 00:16:33,319
Uh, hey, Bob, why don't you check the
scouts' packs, make sure you're all set
277
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,039
for tomorrow?
278
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,090
In the kitchen.
279
00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:39,430
Can't do this now. They can't know we're
married.
280
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:41,680
Oh, so that's it. You're ashamed of me.
281
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:42,930
No.
282
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:44,390
No, that's not it.
283
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,040
Yeah, yes, I am ashamed of you.
284
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:51,199
Now, the trail scouts is the most
important thing in my life. You're not
285
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,250
to screw it up.
286
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:55,130
Well, I guess I won't be wearing my
shorty kimono then.
287
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:59,330
All right, let me just unpack some of
these gay things.
288
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,220
How is a bread maker gay? Oh, how is it
not?
289
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,140
Hey, Drew, I think everyone's ready for
your talk on wilderness safety.
290
00:17:12,141 --> 00:17:13,539
Oh, okay.
291
00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:17,939
Now, guys, when we're out in the woods,
some animals can be dangerous around the
292
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:21,939
campsites. We're going to learn to
identify animals by their scat or their
293
00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:22,990
droppings.
294
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:29,950
Now, a good rule of thumb to remember is
little scat cute, big scat scoot.
295
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,020
Coming.
296
00:17:36,290 --> 00:17:38,950
Yes? I'm from the INS. Are you Nigel
Wick?
297
00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:42,780
Is Oscar de la Hoya the welterweight
champion of my heart?
298
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,330
I think I'm in the right place.
299
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:48,750
Okay, now who can tell me who these are?
300
00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:49,629
A rabbit.
301
00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:50,950
Good. Now, how about these?
302
00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:53,930
Deer. Good. Now, how about this one?
303
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:56,710
Yours, Mr. Carey.
304
00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:00,640
In my dreams, that's a bear.
305
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,620
Drew, guess who dropped by?
306
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,770
I don't know. Somebody's pooping, I'll
tell you.
307
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:10,280
Drew, he's from the INS.
308
00:18:10,281 --> 00:18:13,959
Oh, okay, I'll be right in. No hurry,
just need to ask you a couple of
309
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,400
about your marriage to Nigel.
310
00:18:15,401 --> 00:18:17,419
What's he talking about, Drew?
311
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:18,470
Oh, no.
312
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:20,100
You're not gay, too, are you?
313
00:18:20,620 --> 00:18:22,910
Well, he better be if he's married to
this man.
314
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,200
Okay, kids, bear girl.
315
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:28,120
Hope it gets to cover your ears. Bears
love ears.
316
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:32,190
Listen, I'm plenty gay to marry this
man.
317
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,270
But I'm not too gay to be a scoutmaster.
318
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:38,470
So I guess that makes me, um...
Bisexual. Right, exactly.
319
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:42,230
I'm bisexual. I'm only half gay. I'm
like Siegfried without Roy.
320
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,290
I have enough of this.
321
00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:48,929
I need to know right now if this
marriage is real or not. Because if it
322
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:51,050
Nigel Wick is out of the country.
323
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,250
And if it is, you're out of the scouts.
324
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,580
True?
325
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:04,319
Uh, you know, the Trail Scouts' first
big rule is to be honest and to tell the
326
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,370
truth.
327
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:08,980
I can't wake up in the morning without
my English muffin.
328
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,070
Thank you, Drew.
329
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,100
Okay, Scouts, change of plan.
330
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,460
Code pink, everyone in the van.
331
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:20,470
Sorry, Drew.
332
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:21,900
You know the rules.
333
00:19:21,901 --> 00:19:26,759
You may kick me out of the Trail Scouts,
but you can't kick me out of the wood.
334
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,550
I'm going to find Scoutmaster Doug and
all the other band gay scoutmasters.
335
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,260
We're going to farm our own troops.
336
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,610
I'm not going to stop until there's a
gay man behind every tree.
337
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,220
I'm going to make America's forest look
like Studio 54.
338
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:47,379
As far as I can tell, you two are a
peculiar but legitimate couple. It looks
339
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:48,219
good to me.
340
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:49,420
Looks great, I'd say.
341
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,940
Don't know how to thank you, Cary.
342
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,070
How about by never touching my ass
again?
343
00:19:55,870 --> 00:19:57,070
I can do better than that.
344
00:19:57,071 --> 00:20:00,269
You're no longer the assistant head of
personnel at Winford Louder.
345
00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:02,810
I'm promoting you to head of personnel.
346
00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:07,809
So, I lose the trail scouts, which is
all that means anything to me anymore,
347
00:20:07,810 --> 00:20:10,289
in return I get a title I should have
had five years ago?
348
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,970
If you hit me now, it's a hate crime.
349
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,160
No, it's not.
350
00:20:13,161 --> 00:20:16,429
No, it's not. It's spousal abuse and the
police will look the other way.
351
00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,480
Welcome to America.
352
00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:25,010
The years, you've never let me down.
353
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:32,519
You've turned my life around The
sweetest days I've found
354
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:38,619
I've found with you Through the years
I've never been
355
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:39,670
afraid
356
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:44,260
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