All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s05e25 Drew And Kate Boink

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,110 --> 00:00:01,810 Okay, Mimi, send it over. Okay. 2 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,170 What's going on? 3 00:00:03,290 --> 00:00:06,370 Mimi and I are learning how to send family pictures to everyone using email. 4 00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:10,710 What the hell is that? 5 00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,490 Oh, that's our little zygote. 6 00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:16,030 See, the fertility clinic used my sperm and fertilized Mimi's egg. 7 00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,330 And then how Jurassic Park got started? 8 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:22,890 Well, right now, the little tyke is chilling in the freezer, but in two 9 00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:24,910 someone's going to implant the zygote into Mimi. 10 00:00:25,390 --> 00:00:27,730 And we have a winner for the worst job in America contest. 11 00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,970 Try to grow your eyes last, little buddy. 12 00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:46,310 Well, I gotta go to work. Now, you take it easy, Mimi, because you've got an 13 00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:51,630 operation coming up, and then, in nine months, you'll be having my baby. 14 00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:55,850 What a lovely way to say how much you love me. 15 00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:57,990 Having my baby. 16 00:00:59,430 --> 00:01:02,310 He's just happy because he got to make love to a paper cup instead of you. 17 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:09,290 At least my man doesn't have a... brained wiener that makes him cry like a 18 00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:10,450 every time he gets excited. 19 00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,070 Oh, my God. 20 00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:18,490 The new store mannequins I ordered are beautiful. 21 00:01:19,790 --> 00:01:20,890 Hello, darling. 22 00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:24,690 Sir, we have the entire building. 23 00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:32,270 Why are my ladies all bundled up like this? I didn't pay $10 ,000 24 00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:35,770 to hide their beautiful mock flesh. 25 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,270 $10 ,000? 26 00:01:37,670 --> 00:01:39,270 Sir, the store can't afford that. 27 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,910 How dare you question my authority? 28 00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,130 Bet it's not the saddest dune you've ever been a part of. 29 00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:19,210 Hey, you look a little like Kate. 30 00:02:20,710 --> 00:02:24,830 Kate has one of these things, too, except this one's kind of silky to the 31 00:03:11,180 --> 00:03:12,180 God's love. 32 00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:45,309 get all the toys. 33 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:49,670 Oh, well, ever since I talked to Kate, I've had this whole pen of energy, so I 34 00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:51,510 thought I'd clean out the basement. I'm thinking of having an art sale. 35 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,750 It's just really, really important that I keep my hands busy. 36 00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:58,050 Hey, our old walkie -talkies. 37 00:03:58,410 --> 00:04:00,630 You remember when we put one of these under Drew's parents' bed? 38 00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:02,310 Remember when we heard Drew's dad? 39 00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:05,530 Don't get fancy with me, Bueller. Just take me home. 40 00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:09,150 Stop it. 41 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,190 Hey, who's up for a game of Gnip -Gnop? 42 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:14,950 Actually... You guys got to go. I paged Kate. She's on her way over. 43 00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:16,190 So? 44 00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:22,730 Well, it's kind of embarrassing, but... Well, I got an erection at work today. 45 00:04:22,910 --> 00:04:23,910 Hey! 46 00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:26,670 Hey, hey. I did, too. 47 00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:27,890 No kidding. 48 00:04:29,690 --> 00:04:33,410 I remember I delivered this package to this lady. She comes to the door. She's 49 00:04:33,410 --> 00:04:34,410 just wearing a robe. 50 00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:35,970 Breeze comes in. 51 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,590 Opens up the robe. Get to the point. 52 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:40,410 She had an erection. 53 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,380 kids party I'm catering. Hey, why don't you guys go outside and play with the 54 00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:49,019 lawn darts? 55 00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:50,020 All right. 56 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:52,680 Hey, Drew, I had the damn government bandies anyway. 57 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,680 Yeah, what was that all about? I don't know. 58 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,120 Hey, give me one of those. 59 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,360 What are you doing, sonny? 60 00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:01,599 I'm healed. 61 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,760 I'm okay down there. 62 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,820 That's so great. We've waited so long. 63 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,220 Yeah, let's go upstairs and get those big shoes up in the air. What do you 64 00:05:13,070 --> 00:05:13,889 rush anything. 65 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:16,670 Let's wait till tomorrow night and make it really special, okay? 66 00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:20,730 We'll have the whole evening to ourselves. We want to go to work the 67 00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:23,050 Trust me, it'll be worth the wait. 68 00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:28,110 Okay. All right. Hey, uh, will you wear the big shoes? 69 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:29,330 Yes. 70 00:05:30,390 --> 00:05:33,070 All right. If I could have your attention, please, I'd like to welcome 71 00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:34,950 to the first meeting of the Been Dumped by Kate Club. 72 00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:36,630 It's her loss! 73 00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:38,390 Well, 74 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,890 I'm glad to finally meet you guys face to face. 75 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,660 You know, I don't think I could have gotten through my breakup if I hadn't 76 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:47,700 able to chat with you guys online. Thank God I stumbled on Jay's website. 77 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:51,840 Hey, if I can help just one guy with coldheartlessbitch .com, I've done my 78 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:56,560 So, anyone want to take the floor and trash Kate? 79 00:05:56,820 --> 00:06:02,440 You know, I was just thinking back to my short but passionate relationship with 80 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,840 Kate. I loved that thing she used to do during sex. 81 00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:08,620 What was it again? 82 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,580 If you really slept with Kate, where's the mole below her waist? 83 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,840 Well, quite frankly, when I'm having sex with Kate, I'm not looking for moles. 84 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,560 I'm looking for that look of ecstasy on her face. 85 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,880 Now, what was it like again? Somebody show me. Come on. 86 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,740 Fine, fine, fine. You all think you're better than me because you've had sex 87 00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:30,200 with Kate and you've formed a little club. 88 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,240 I don't want you anyway. You're riddled with moles. 89 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,780 It's party. It ended at 7. 90 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,060 Jay? Randy? 91 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,080 What are you guys doing here? 92 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,400 Who are you? 93 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:55,940 Oh my God, you don't remember me? 94 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:57,640 Spring break, 1982? 95 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:01,780 You went on a trip to Hawaii. You came into my surf shop and I closed it for 96 00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:02,780 whole day. 97 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:05,740 Wait. 98 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,760 Which shop? 99 00:07:11,420 --> 00:07:17,100 I don't believe this. You guys sit around and... and drink and say horrible 100 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,100 things about me? 101 00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:22,760 I'm not that horrible. 102 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,400 You left me at the altar. 103 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:25,880 Okay, there's that. 104 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,340 You left me the night before my battalion shipped out for the Gulf War. 105 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,520 Well, welcome home. 106 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,840 Did I hurt all of you guys this much? 107 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,320 Yeah. 108 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,760 I had no idea. 109 00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:45,650 I owe each of you an apology. 110 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,590 I am so sorry. 111 00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:51,190 Well, all I really wanted was an apology. 112 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,030 So I guess I can get on with my life. 113 00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:04,110 I just realized that none of my relationships have ended well. You're 114 00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:07,250 me. We would have let in the one -nighters, but we couldn't afford to 115 00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,250 hall. 116 00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,990 Does Drew know about this club? No, not yet. 117 00:08:13,270 --> 00:08:14,470 What is that? supposed to mean? 118 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:18,490 Well, I'm sorry, Kate. Hey, no one wants you and Drew to stay together more than 119 00:08:18,490 --> 00:08:21,670 me, but at some point you have to admit, I mean, these guys were great and they 120 00:08:21,670 --> 00:08:22,670 were all in love with you. 121 00:08:23,130 --> 00:08:27,610 You gotta see that, you know, maybe the problem isn't us, it's... Me? 122 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:29,350 That's what I was thinking. 123 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,909 Oh, God, if I hurt all of you guys this much, that means I can hurt Drew. 124 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,770 Oh, my God, tomorrow night. 125 00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:41,210 What? Tomorrow night's supposed to be our first night. 126 00:08:42,380 --> 00:08:44,860 I can't... I can't do it. I can't sleep with Drew. 127 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:50,960 Hi. Welcome to Playboy's Sexual Secrets. 128 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,340 Tape number nine. Sex for seniors. 129 00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,680 Oh, crap. 130 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,220 The wrong tapes. 131 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:05,040 Get ready for some fun sex positions that won't break your hip. 132 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,680 I wanted to watch... 133 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,900 Just wanted to say I'm really looking forward to tonight. It's going to be 134 00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,620 great. Only an hour to go. 135 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,080 Love you. 136 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,880 Okay. Hanging up now. 137 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,440 Bye. 138 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,440 Ooh. So you got a big date with O 'Brien, huh? 139 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,200 Well, I hope you at least buy her dinner before you Clinton all over her dress. 140 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:40,480 Mimi, there is nothing you can say to me that will upset me today. 141 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,500 Sounds like a chap. 142 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,540 I'll tell you what the real challenge is. O 'Brien trying to fake an orgasm 143 00:09:51,540 --> 00:09:53,400 during your ten -second love -a -thon. 144 00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:56,660 Yeah, what is it? 145 00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:58,880 Oh, God. No. 146 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,280 What do I do? 147 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,160 Okay. Okay. 148 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,900 Hey, buddy, I need a huge favor. 149 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,540 Oh, no. Is everything okay? 150 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:19,370 your thing? Why don't you get your coat and I'll go warm up the screw you 151 00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,370 mobile. 152 00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,890 That was the fertility clinic calling. 153 00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:28,770 Electricity's down in the freezers out. My little zygote only has one hour to be 154 00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:32,470 implanted. What does the Lord have to strike you dead? He doesn't want another 155 00:10:32,470 --> 00:10:33,470 one of you. 156 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:38,630 Someone's got to take me down there. This is a real operation. So someone's 157 00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:39,630 to bring me home. 158 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:52,760 All right, I'll do it for Steve. 159 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,360 Let me tell you one thing. I don't care how much help that farmer needs, I'm not 160 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,360 going to hold your hind legs. 161 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:02,920 Slow down, pig. 162 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:06,700 No. I'm taking you to the clinic, I'm dropping you off, and that's it. You get 163 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,579 to get a cab home. 164 00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,280 There's no way I'm going to be late for cake tonight. 165 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,140 Besides, the last thing I need to see before my big date is you on the 166 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,180 end of a turkey baster. 167 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:17,840 I can't believe Steve's in Toledo. 168 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,980 Damn porcelain doll convention. 169 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:33,400 when I was a roadie for Foghat. 170 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,000 Oh, I wish I was that dead cat in the middle of the road. 171 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:43,400 I don't think I can take that disappointment again. 172 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,320 Turn left here. 173 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:47,100 Let's see the clinics to the right. 174 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,740 No, we ain't going. 175 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,779 It's hopeless. 176 00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:53,020 Liv, you're right. Maybe I'm not supposed to have a baby. Just take me 177 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,260 Mimi, don't be getting all human on me now. 178 00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:02,670 Well, you never know unless you try. 179 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:06,330 How are you going to feel used to now when you realize you came this far and 180 00:12:06,330 --> 00:12:07,330 then you gave up? 181 00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,130 I'm scared. 182 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:14,070 Look, I'm sure you're going to be a fierce, protective mother. 183 00:12:16,830 --> 00:12:18,910 The most any child can ask for. 184 00:12:20,010 --> 00:12:21,050 You really mean that? 185 00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:22,510 Yeah. 186 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,310 Besides, you don't want your species dying out with you. 187 00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:30,070 Turn this car around. I'm having a baby. 188 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,900 Bet you fiddle of gold against your soul because I think I'm better than you. 189 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,120 Say nothing of this. 190 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,680 Hey, where's Kate? 191 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:55,180 She's not here yet. Oh, good. We're both running late. 192 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,720 What are you doing here? 193 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,000 Oh, I brought you over some cologne we're developing at Drug Co. 194 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:02,980 We'll make Kate crazy for you. 195 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,400 Oh, it smells great. Yeah. 196 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,720 Oh, gee. Thanks, Lewis. Oh, no problem. 197 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,640 I'm sure you won't be in the 3%. 198 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:22,360 Three percent of the monkeys in the test group tried to eat their own genitals. 199 00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:28,780 Any negative side effects? 200 00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:34,480 Hello? Drew? 201 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,840 It's me. Before you say anything, I just need to tell you, I just need some time 202 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,500 alone to think about things, so I can't come over tonight, and I'm really sorry. 203 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:43,600 Bye. 204 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,200 Kate, wait. 205 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:46,560 What's wrong? 206 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:49,850 Kate says she's not coming over. 207 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,990 I don't get it. 208 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:53,810 What'd she say? 209 00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,170 Said she needs time to think about us. 210 00:13:58,570 --> 00:13:59,570 Oh. 211 00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:02,690 I understand. 212 00:14:03,790 --> 00:14:07,350 She just doesn't want to sleep with me. 213 00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:11,910 Come on. You don't know that. Maybe she sprained her thing. 214 00:14:14,350 --> 00:14:15,650 No, no. She... 215 00:14:17,450 --> 00:14:18,450 She just doesn't love me. 216 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,250 I'm sorry, man. 217 00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,850 I'm sure there's something I can do to cheer you up. 218 00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:28,030 Hey, Drew. 219 00:14:28,930 --> 00:14:30,630 There may not be love in this house tonight. 220 00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:32,490 There may not be sex. 221 00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:36,150 But by God, there's going to be turkey in the straw. 222 00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:25,899 I didn't sleep. 223 00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:28,500 I was really scared about something, and I have to talk to you. 224 00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:30,140 Okay. 225 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,320 Don't be scared. Here. 226 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,520 Climb into bed. I'll talk it out. 227 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,000 I don't even know where to start. 228 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,340 I'm so sorry I stood you up. 229 00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:41,720 But I just found out there's an actual club of my ex -boyfriends. 230 00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:44,840 I've hurt everybody that I've been in a relationship with. 231 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,780 Oh, Kate, they just weren't the right guys. It's not your fault. 232 00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:50,080 Yes, it was. 233 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,220 You didn't see their faces. I really hurt them. 234 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:54,740 I don't want to hurt you. 235 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:58,100 I love you. I'm willing to take that chance. 236 00:15:58,900 --> 00:15:59,960 I love you too. 237 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,020 But I've been in love before and I screwed it up. 238 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,260 I mean, how do I know it's going to work this time? 239 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,580 How do we know this is the real thing? 240 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:09,400 We're in love. 241 00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:11,860 Do you want me to spell it out for you? 242 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:19,160 L is for the way you look at me. 243 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,480 O is for... 244 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:25,959 I see. 245 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:31,340 V is very, very extraordinary. 246 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:38,480 E is even more than anyone that you adore. 247 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:44,240 And love is all that I can give to you. 248 00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:50,420 Love is more than just a game for two. 249 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,240 Made for me and you 250 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,520 Made for me and you 251 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,380 I've never spent two days in bed with anyone before. 252 00:19:24,860 --> 00:19:28,480 Three times in 48 hours. 253 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,760 Sexual peak at 18, my ass. 254 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,100 This is the most perfect moment of my life. 255 00:20:02,670 --> 00:20:03,790 bad things didn't work out at the clinic. 256 00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:09,290 Drew, she just said she was pranked. Nope, didn't happen. She's not having a 257 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,290 care of child. 258 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:15,790 Drew, she just said... Hey, I played along with your fantasy, play along with 259 00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:16,790 mine. 260 00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:21,170 Drew left out one of his Playboy tapes. 261 00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:22,890 Let's be naughty. 262 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,800 and have sex, you see? It makes it all legitimate. 19318

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