All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s05e02 Drew Goes To The Browns Game.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,610 verse to the song. 2 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:13,800 Here we go. Here we go, Brownies. Here we go. 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,840 Hey, the line's moving again. 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,680 Here we go. Here we go, Brownies. Are we there yet? 5 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,930 How many times have I heard a half -asleep woman say that? 6 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,980 We're almost to the ticket window. 7 00:00:25,981 --> 00:00:28,359 Yeah, we waited three years for the Browns to come back to Cleveland. We can 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:29,920 wait another 15 minutes in line. 9 00:00:29,921 --> 00:00:31,359 Hey, the line's moving again. 10 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,800 This is stupid. I don't even like football. 11 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:43,309 this line for two days kate we're part of history here we're gonna have tickets 12 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:46,669 to the very first game in this brand new stadium you know they're not just 13 00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:48,969 bringing back football to cleveland they're bringing back a sense of 14 00:00:48,970 --> 00:00:52,269 hey you're 15 00:00:52,270 --> 00:00:59,269 looking a little scruffy there buddy what's that it's a new razor drug 16 00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:03,360 co -developed it's chemically treated so it doesn't need water or shaving cream 17 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,100 She brought my pizza and toilet paper. 18 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:23,159 Sorry I'm late. I've been ass -deep in a septic tank all day. But I made 19 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,210 sandwiches. 20 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:28,360 Were you in the septic tank first, or did you make the sandwiches first? 21 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,680 It's very important. 22 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,690 Not to me, it isn't. 23 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:35,479 Hey, you're just in time. We're almost to the front of the window. 24 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,470 Sorry, Drew. I've got to get back to work. 25 00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:39,139 Well, do you want to come with us tonight for the celebration? 26 00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,479 We're going to go to Sears and have our picture taken with our tickets. 27 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,920 I'm dressing mine like a baby. 28 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:49,799 Anyway, sorry, Drew. I can't come tonight either. I have to work, but I'll 29 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:50,439 you later. 30 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,939 Can I at least have a goodbye kiss? 31 00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:55,900 Okay, say go Browns. Go Browns. 32 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,150 Bye, guys. 33 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,370 She's always working. I hardly see her at all anymore. 34 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,260 Hey, the line's moving. Come on. 35 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:05,970 God, 36 00:02:05,971 --> 00:02:07,779 I hope he's sleeping. 37 00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,399 Maybe we should check for a pulse. 38 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,600 Hey, the line's moving. 39 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,020 I'll take one ticket, please. 40 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,430 One ticket? 41 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,600 Are you kidding me? 42 00:02:17,601 --> 00:02:20,819 This is history, man. You wait in line for two days in the hot sun and you're 43 00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:22,140 just gonna buy one ticket? 44 00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:23,230 You're right. 45 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,840 I better get some for my friends. 46 00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:27,060 I'll take five tickets. 47 00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,479 Thanks, pal. 48 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,530 Yeah, no problem. 49 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:33,179 work with that jamaica barn come on pig it's football season let's not hurt each 50 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:38,119 other with words let's do it paperweight baby stop he can bounce off his gut and 51 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:43,779 kill us all attention everyone i've been asked by the board to give the best 52 00:03:43,780 --> 00:03:44,860 employee in the store 53 00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:58,349 sure you remember that I'm the one who saved the store from being blown up. 54 00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,550 Uh -huh. And I also sponsored your rehab. 55 00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:02,860 Yeah. 56 00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:07,369 And I'm the only employee that understands that when you insult us, 57 00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:08,450 trying to motivate us. 58 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:12,100 Well, that is true, you goggle -eyed, square -headed, sexless drone. 59 00:04:12,101 --> 00:04:16,009 Don't waste any more of me today, sir. I'm still riding high from that lard 60 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,510 comment you made this morning. 61 00:04:17,930 --> 00:04:19,850 Give it up, Terry. I've already decided. 62 00:04:20,029 --> 00:04:21,349 Johnson, front and center. 63 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:24,950 Johnson, these tickets. 64 00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:28,780 I have a reward for 20 years of perfect attendance. 65 00:04:28,781 --> 00:04:33,119 Unfortunately, the game's on a work day, but I'm sure you could take a sick day 66 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,170 just this once. 67 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:38,080 What? You lied to me and take a sick day just to see a football game? 68 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,550 You're fired! 69 00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:47,030 So I guess you didn't get any tickets for the game, huh? No. 70 00:04:47,031 --> 00:04:49,599 Well, I got something that'll cheer you up. 71 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,019 What is the next best thing to be in that first Browns game in person? 72 00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:53,919 Oh, that's easy. 73 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,399 Throw the first shovel full of dirt on Mimi's coffin while she screams from the 74 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,450 inside. 75 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,980 No, but I rented you a big screen TV so the game will still be special. 76 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,780 Oh, so we can watch together. 77 00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,930 Nah, I've got to be out of town for my brother's birthday. 78 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:08,399 Well, can I at least see you tonight? 79 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,660 Tonight? You can see whatever you want. 80 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,500 She cheated on you. 81 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,899 What are you talking about? 82 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,180 All the evidence is here. 83 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:28,800 First of all, and I know I've said this before, but look at you. 84 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:34,120 And if that's not enough, she's going out of town. 85 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:37,300 And that big screen TV, they just wreak the guilt. 86 00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:41,939 I don't buy your theories, Mimi, although I can see where your paranoia 87 00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:44,839 from. What are the excuses you must have heard in your life, huh? 88 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,640 Car won't start, I'm going to be late. 89 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,390 Bet all the proof we need is right here in her purse. 90 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:52,929 I'm not going to go through her purse. Yeah, you're not going to look because 91 00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:53,980 you know I'm right. 92 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:57,120 No, it's a huge invasion of privacy. I'm just not going to do it. 93 00:05:57,121 --> 00:05:58,209 Yeah, well, I will. 94 00:05:58,210 --> 00:05:59,260 Okay. 95 00:06:00,290 --> 00:06:02,510 See? All the typical purse stuff. 96 00:06:02,511 --> 00:06:06,869 Matchbook to a romantic restaurant we've always been talking about going to but 97 00:06:06,870 --> 00:06:07,920 never went to. 98 00:06:08,510 --> 00:06:10,730 Hotel key to a place I've never been. 99 00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:13,410 And condom brand I've never tried. 100 00:06:16,990 --> 00:06:20,780 Jeez, I was just messing with your head, but she really... He's cheating on you. 101 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,690 Sorry, pig. 102 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,440 Look at this little makeup case. 103 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,140 Couldn't even do one eye. 104 00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:34,590 Excuse me. 105 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,880 Would you like to help me bury a bone? 106 00:06:47,470 --> 00:06:50,780 doesn't work in Cleveland now, I don't know where it's gonna work. 107 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:52,310 What a day. 108 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:54,100 Drew, are you okay? 109 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,420 I just found out that Sharon's cheating on me. 110 00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:57,680 Oh, are you sure? 111 00:06:57,681 --> 00:07:00,409 Yes, I'm sure. I don't know how she could do that to me. 112 00:07:00,410 --> 00:07:01,349 Sorry, buddy. 113 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:03,629 You think it has anything to do with the fact you're strutting around with a 114 00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:04,680 purse? 115 00:07:04,681 --> 00:07:09,609 Okay, here she comes, Drew. Do you want me to take her down? I bet her legs are 116 00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,249 wobbly from having sex with two guys. 117 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:12,089 Hey, guys. 118 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:15,640 Hey, Drew. Thanks for calling me. I can't believe you found my purse. Yeah. 119 00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:17,579 Not a lot of things. Can I talk to you? 120 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,630 Yeah. 121 00:07:20,580 --> 00:07:22,060 I went through your purse. 122 00:07:22,061 --> 00:07:23,719 Why'd you do that? 123 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,400 Maybe I was looking for your shame. 124 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,260 I know you're cheating on me. 125 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,870 How would you explain these things? The matchbook, the hotel key? 126 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,460 I am fixing a restaurant which is in a hotel. 127 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,070 Oh. 128 00:07:36,140 --> 00:07:37,820 Well, then, answer me this. 129 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,680 Why am I such an idiot? 130 00:07:39,681 --> 00:07:43,919 You don't have an answer for that, do you? I didn't think you would. I can't 131 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,599 believe you went through my purse. 132 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,079 I can't believe you don't trust me. 133 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,180 Look, I'm sorry. You're such a great woman. 134 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:51,930 You're so pretty. 135 00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:55,559 I know how you like sex and all. I figured if you like sex with me, you 136 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,610 with anybody. 137 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:58,770 I'm so insecure. 138 00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:00,780 I can't stay mad at you. 139 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,670 Maybe we'll find a home for this little guy after all. 140 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,470 Okay, I'll call you when I get back from around the town. 141 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,440 Hey, Drew, did you two just make up? 142 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,990 Yeah, I'm an idiot. She wasn't cheating on me. 143 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,140 Hey, Sharon, about that cheating message. 144 00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:29,360 I can't believe I came this close to blowing it with Sharon. 145 00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,280 Drew, you're a great guy. 146 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:34,859 Besides, she's got her head in a toilet eight hours a day. Where's she going to 147 00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:36,360 meet someone better than you? 148 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:38,690 Nobody cheer. 149 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,659 Everybody play it cool. Keep your game faces on. 150 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,490 I don't want to see any outward display of emotion. 151 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,340 Outward display of emotion. 152 00:08:52,341 --> 00:08:54,839 Okay, here's the deal. I got some inside information. 153 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,799 Figured out a way to sneak us into the stadium. 154 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,320 Trust me, we are gonna be sitting pretty. 155 00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:43,740 so try to make it look natural, like we're just getting out of the job. 156 00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:53,210 Oh, my God, Lewis, we're out back to stadium. 157 00:09:53,211 --> 00:09:57,229 You spent all night in front of potty for this? All right, okay, nobody panic. 158 00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,550 just need a minute to think. 159 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:06,529 Let's just go back to Drew's and watch the game on the big screen. 160 00:10:06,530 --> 00:10:09,000 Okay, but let's hurry. I have to go to the bathroom. 161 00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:13,029 I'm going to start getting inside that stadium. I'm going to have the whole 162 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,989 experience. I'm going to stuff my face with junk food. I'm going to poke 163 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,349 stringers with my big foam finger. I'm going to win a football game. Joe, 164 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,749 there's no way we're getting inside that stadium. 165 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:22,800 Kate? 166 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,020 Kate O 'Brien? 167 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,330 Kate, it's me, Wally Schnabel. 168 00:10:26,950 --> 00:10:29,420 Remember, homemaker, I was your pastry partner. 169 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,300 Oh, good. 170 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,620 Wally Schnabel. 171 00:10:32,621 --> 00:10:36,309 I'm surprised you recognized my face. You spent all of high school staring at 172 00:10:36,310 --> 00:10:37,360 breath. 173 00:10:37,361 --> 00:10:40,799 You talking about that guy there that's guarding the VIP entrance? 174 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,850 Yeah, that's him. 175 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:44,600 That's our way in, Kate. 176 00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,799 You go distract them and we'll sneak around behind them. 177 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,170 All you gotta do is bring the boys out of retirement for one last job. 178 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,580 Maybe if I sleep with them, they'll give us all free hot dogs. 179 00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:57,870 Hot dogs? 180 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,220 I'm not doing it. 181 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,090 It's okay, Kate. 182 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,330 It's not your fault to know the magic anymore. 183 00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:08,360 Oh, would you please give it a rest? 184 00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:11,759 You're not going to trick me into doing this by suggesting I don't have it 185 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,240 anymore. Because I still have it. And I will prove it to you. 186 00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:23,200 I feel kind of bad talking to you. 187 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:25,450 Aren't you back? 188 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,120 Hey, Wally. Hey, you remembered. 189 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,580 It is so good to see you. 190 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,260 Things are really... 191 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:40,720 changed. Yeah. I moved up in the world. I got a job with a gun. 192 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,410 Really? Yeah. 193 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,540 You know what that gun reminds me of? 194 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,600 Yeah. A penis. 195 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,650 Anyway, 196 00:11:49,651 --> 00:11:52,459 you know, I don't live with my parents anymore. 197 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:56,839 Well, unless you consider the basement part of their house, which I don't. You 198 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,839 know, my parents are going out of town next week and I'm thinking about having 199 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:00,890 little par -tay. 200 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,580 What's your number? Oh, it's 34626. 201 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:05,430 I'll see you then. 202 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,520 We did it. 203 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:14,860 Snuck into the stadium. 204 00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:18,219 Hey, bro, what are you doing here? How'd you get the tickets? 205 00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:20,080 We had a new position to the game. 206 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,590 Backpack. 207 00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:25,170 See, kids, this player had to learn a lesson the hard way. 208 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:26,800 Always wear a face mask. 209 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:31,520 We didn't have to buy tickets. We snuck in. 210 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,260 Oh, good for you. 211 00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:50,579 What's the deal? I mean, I'm wearing a dress. 212 00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:53,699 Believe me, you wouldn't want to be a cross -dresser in a kind of 70 ,000 hard 213 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:54,919 -drinking football fans. 214 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,420 But I haven't totally sold out. 215 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,260 One of us is wearing panties. 216 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,050 Which one of you want to be wearing my watch? 217 00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:04,030 Excuse me, please. 218 00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:48,930 You already said that. 219 00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,409 There's so many different foods in here. 220 00:13:50,410 --> 00:13:52,700 And it's us! Hot dogs! Right here, right here. 221 00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:57,650 You know what would make this better? 222 00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,380 Staying here. 223 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,809 I feel so guilty that she's never chewed on me. I don't even have any proof. 224 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:03,860 You want some? 225 00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:05,720 What? 226 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,530 That does not fit. 227 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,740 Look at that 228 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,700 I never dropped this hot dog. 229 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,140 Welcome to the Rock. 230 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,600 Mr. Wick, you're here too? 231 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,939 Carrie, did you realize that giving away your tickets to an undercover 232 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:06,520 policewoman for sex is against the law? 233 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,100 We saw you on TV right across the field. 234 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:12,960 What the hell were you thinking? 235 00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:22,350 Eventually, the hot dog guys worked their way around to you. 236 00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:28,110 I saw Sherry kissing somebody on the big screen. I just went crazy. 237 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,890 Hey, Drew. 238 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:33,550 Well, well, well. 239 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,380 If it isn't the half -time hard. 240 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,050 I'm sorry. 241 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,720 I know I owe you an explanation. 242 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,990 I don't know what to say. It just happened. 243 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:45,540 I wanted to tell you, but... But what? 244 00:15:46,441 --> 00:15:49,859 I didn't want you to find out like this. 245 00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:52,450 Well, how'd you want me to find out? Pay -per -view? 246 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:55,099 You don't have to yell at me. I feel terrible enough. 247 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,390 You feel terrible? I'm the lowest cheated on. 248 00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:01,100 Actually, Drew, I cheated on him with you. 249 00:16:03,660 --> 00:16:06,580 What? You mean I'm the other guy? 250 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:10,590 Sorry, Drew. I thought it was just going to be a one -night stand. 251 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,440 I ended up liking you so much. 252 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,210 All the time you were thinking with little Sharon. 253 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,840 I didn't mean to hurt you. 254 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,250 Oh, I feel so much better knowing that. Thanks. 255 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,010 Goodbye. 256 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,740 But I just... Goodbye. 257 00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:31,920 True. See ya. 258 00:16:32,460 --> 00:16:33,510 Okay. 259 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,180 Well, I guess I could do this for you. 260 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,720 All right, everybody, blend in. 261 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:10,338 You guys don't have to leave with me. Stan wants the rest of the game if he 262 00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:13,049 wants it. Sure, it's just a game. We'd rather be with you. 263 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,560 Well, at least when something this bad happens, you know it can't get any 264 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:23,559 Yeah, you know, Drew, when you hit bottom, it's best to just keep moving 265 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,630 forward. Yeah, just keep moving. Who cares what's behind you? 266 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,410 I don't know what it is, but I'm not looking back. 267 00:17:29,891 --> 00:17:36,269 Hey, second game in the stadium. We're sure to get tickets this time. 268 00:17:36,270 --> 00:17:40,820 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 21404

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