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1
00:00:01,319 --> 00:00:02,369
All right.
2
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:05,220
Step aside, everybody. It's time to mow.
3
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You're using an awful lot of safety
equipment there, aren't you, buddy?
4
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,640
Well, you know, I am operating heavy
machinery.
5
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:46,840
What's with the fancy briefcase?
6
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,900
Oh, good news. I got a promotion. I'm
the angel of death.
7
00:00:50,211 --> 00:00:52,139
About time.
8
00:00:52,140 --> 00:00:53,190
Drew, pack a bag.
9
00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:57,579
No, every time Global Parcel ruins a
package, I'm the guy who gets to notify
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00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:00,539
customer. You know, stuff like your
Christmas presents are lost, your
11
00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:03,310
pictures are destroyed, Grandma's ashes
are missing.
12
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,840
You don't want to do that. Hey, for 30
more cents an hour, I'd be a fool not
13
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,400
What the hell happened to this barbecue?
14
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Well, Drew called us childish, so to get
back at him, we tied it to his bumper.
15
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He would have made it to work if he
hadn't gone through the car wash.
16
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So what'd you do to get him back?
17
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,650
Nothing yet.
18
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,920
I think revenge is a dish best served
cold.
19
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,690
Well, that's good, because we busted up
your barbecue!
20
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:40,030
Hey, Drew.
21
00:01:40,260 --> 00:01:42,850
What do you say we go inside and make
some lemonade?
22
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:44,350
Now?
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00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,570
All right, sure.
24
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,260
What are you doing?
25
00:01:57,261 --> 00:02:01,419
Well, I thought you said if you want to
make lemonade, I thought it was a code
26
00:02:01,420 --> 00:02:02,920
word for coming in and have sex.
27
00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:14,010
Sex, could you make some lemonade?
28
00:02:14,961 --> 00:02:21,629
So, uh, have you thought about what you
want to do for our one -month
29
00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:24,809
anniversary? Yeah. I read there's going
to be a meteor shower that night. I
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00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,220
thought it'd be fun to cook outside and
camp out.
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00:02:27,590 --> 00:02:29,190
Oh, that sounds nice.
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00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:32,570
Camp out is code for having sex outside,
Drew.
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00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:35,780
Oh.
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00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:39,740
Oh, it must explain that camping trip
where my Uncle Bob called me a tease.
35
00:02:45,371 --> 00:02:50,499
We're going to need a new barbecue. Want
to go in on one?
36
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,360
I don't know. That's a pretty big step.
37
00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:53,910
So you're in?
38
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,350
Yeah, let's do it.
39
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:59,810
Hey, while I have the energy, why don't
we drain the old birdbath?
40
00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,270
Now?
41
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,050
Oswald's new job?
42
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,410
Hot sauce?
43
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,610
Why, thank you.
44
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:10,660
Yeah, it's about time.
45
00:04:10,661 --> 00:04:13,919
He's always helping everybody else. He
deserves to have something nice happen
46
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,970
him for a change.
47
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,279
Salt? Hey,
48
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Drew. I found us a barbecue.
49
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,610
No, I'm sorry.
50
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,030
The barbecue.
51
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,140
The Meat Master 2000.
52
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,470
You know,
53
00:04:29,471 --> 00:04:32,199
these things are never as nice as when
you see them on TV.
54
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,250
Wow!
55
00:04:38,381 --> 00:04:41,339
a favor and pick this up for me?
56
00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:47,179
I was going to tell you guys this later
on, but I am going to the retail
57
00:04:47,180 --> 00:04:48,320
convention in Chicago.
58
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,000
Retail convention in Chicago.
59
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,360
Just think about it.
60
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:59,099
I've been waiting all my life to go to
this thing, and you want to know the
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00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,560
part? I get to give a speech.
62
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:04,079
Let me tell you, Mrs. O 'Leary's cow
isn't going to be the only thing to ever
63
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,130
set that town on fire.
64
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,860
Is that part of your speech?
65
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,190
Well, not anymore.
66
00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:17,549
motivation getting off your butt and
riding a rocket to the top hey wasn't it
67
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:21,029
the title of the speech that smart kid
gave at our high school graduation i
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00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:27,229
really wouldn't know hey bartender would
you give me a shot at jack
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00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:33,489
is he okay buddy i don't know i really
don't like delivering bad news to people
70
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:37,519
maybe i'm just not cut out for this job
but all that That tragedy, day after
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00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,279
day. I mean, you have no idea how many
people buy mail order hamsters. Why the
72
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:43,690
hell doesn't the government put a stop
to this?
73
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:46,320
You've got an empty stomach.
74
00:05:46,321 --> 00:05:48,619
Why don't you have some of these before
they get cold?
75
00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:51,090
Oh, thank you very much. It's very
generous of you.
76
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:59,220
This is payback for what we did to your
barbecue, isn't it?
77
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,130
Well, don't offend you, because I like
them hot.
78
00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:11,230
I had a big lunch, but Oswald will.
79
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:18,830
In the name of all things holy, it's
bland.
80
00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:22,720
Here.
81
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:28,330
A little on the napkins.
82
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:30,410
I thought you were on our side.
83
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:31,880
I go where I'm needed.
84
00:06:31,881 --> 00:06:36,269
You could have offered me some wings. I
could take a joke as good as the next
85
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:39,100
guy. Oh, honey, I would never do
anything like that to you.
86
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:46,819
You know what? I dreamt that up. You're
wearing a T -shirt. When I think about
87
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,680
it later, you'll be wearing a T -shirt.
88
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:52,959
I know what this is. This is your way of
saying you're one of the gang and we
89
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,010
accept you, right?
90
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,650
Uh, okay.
91
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,770
I'm looking forward to getting you all
back. Any rules?
92
00:06:59,771 --> 00:07:00,819
Only one.
93
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:01,870
No tickling.
94
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,779
into the trip yep they got a course
there i've been dying to play it's
95
00:07:20,780 --> 00:07:27,719
the beast and beauty always tames the
beast where's the plane ticket uh
96
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:34,119
before i tell you why don't i hold your
claps in order to get a first class
97
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:39,319
ticket for myself i had to cash in your
coach ticket why do you have to fly
98
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:42,420
first class i have a medical problem i'm
a snob
99
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,710
And as he pointed out, on airplanes, you
tend to get drunk and grabby.
100
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,180
No, I don't have to be drunk to get
grabby.
101
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:01,459
But of course, you're only willing to go
through with this if I give you the
102
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:02,510
ticket, right?
103
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,540
Exactly. I'll send you a postcard.
104
00:08:15,961 --> 00:08:22,489
I'll bring you back a T -shirt that
says, my friend went to Chicago and all
105
00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:23,540
got was uglier.
106
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:26,550
You could have a pig.
107
00:08:26,551 --> 00:08:28,649
Straighten your tie, Kerry.
108
00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:29,849
Certainly these men are?
109
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:33,428
No. They're the regional managers of
Dillard's, Macy's, Nordstrom's, and Saks
110
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,479
Fifth Avenue.
111
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,449
Oh, kind of like the Mount Rushmore of
middle management.
112
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,590
Excuse me, first class.
113
00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:44,048
Hi there. I'm Drew Kerry. I'm human
resources over at Winford Louder. Paul
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00:08:44,049 --> 00:08:45,369
Bowler, Saks Fifth Avenue.
115
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,510
Oh, that's between 4th and 6th, right?
116
00:08:48,951 --> 00:08:54,719
We're always looking to meet smart,
clean -cut young managers.
117
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,459
Oh, thank you, sir. You should come by
the Winford Louder booth, because I
118
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:58,759
think I'm going to get a break.
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00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,810
Excuse me, sir.
120
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,210
Is this your bed?
121
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:02,560
Yeah, why? What's up?
122
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:06,020
Then that would be your marital aid.
123
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,919
Well, you know, I mean, that's my socks,
and that's my underwear, and that's my
124
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:18,059
toothbrush. I don't know what that is,
and I certainly wouldn't have it next to
125
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:19,110
my toothbrush.
126
00:09:26,350 --> 00:09:27,400
Ride a pleasure one.
127
00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:33,510
Just like a cell phone or laptop, I will
have to ask you to turn it on.
128
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:36,700
Mimi.
129
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:39,460
Very well.
130
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:41,290
Please turn Mimi on.
131
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,920
No, it's not an A. I mean, it doesn't
have an A. I mean, look.
132
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:50,829
Let me explain what happened. Sir, you
are holding up the line. Now, please
133
00:09:50,830 --> 00:09:52,940
on your rough ride or you won't be
allowed.
134
00:09:57,610 --> 00:09:59,780
I can't figure out how to turn this
thing on.
135
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:08,700
Norman says push the button on the base
and turn the top part counterclockwise.
136
00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:22,570
About coming by our booth, we're going
to be pretty busy and, well, just yuck.
137
00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:33,480
A little help?
138
00:11:13,550 --> 00:11:16,140
Getting off your butt and riding a
rocket to the top.
139
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:22,590
Good one.
140
00:11:23,510 --> 00:11:24,560
Okay,
141
00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,230
let's get down to business.
142
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:31,050
We can't always control our future.
143
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:35,110
Now we've all experienced the discomfort
of internal reorganization.
144
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:44,070
Jobs once performed by people are now
being... done by machine.
145
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:56,010
Okay, look, obviously everyone here has
heard what's happened to me.
146
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,700
Of Global Parcel. Finally!
147
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:28,060
Oh, I hope you have my porcelain doll
set.
148
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,240
The Secretary of Global Parcel regrets
to inform you... Oh, no.
149
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:38,730
I'm sorry.
150
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,980
Which one was it?
151
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,100
Scarlet O 'Hara, Shirley Temple,
Ernest...
152
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,410
It's their certificate of authenticity.
153
00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:56,930
I'm sorry for your loss.
154
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:01,550
Tough trick, pig?
155
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,110
I'm sorry to hear that.
156
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:07,970
Well, have some barbecue.
157
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:10,150
It's ribs for your pleasure.
158
00:13:11,201 --> 00:13:17,389
You can embarrass me in front of my
friends and co -workers. You can
159
00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:19,130
me in front of a billion red Chinese.
160
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:23,760
But when you embarrass me in front of
retailers, that's when I get mad.
161
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:27,560
I didn't do it, but I got you a gift.
162
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,420
De -sell. I heard it was a big fella.
163
00:13:39,940 --> 00:13:40,990
Laugh now, Mimi.
164
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:44,610
I finally have the evidence I need to go
to the board and get you fired.
165
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,750
Hey, maybe this thing will give me some
pleasure after all.
166
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,460
good buzz about his trip?
167
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,880
You guys did it?
168
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,030
Actually, it was my idea. They just
helped out a little.
169
00:14:09,031 --> 00:14:12,059
Yeah, I lent her my consumer guide. I
mean, you don't want to have to buy
170
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,110
things twice.
171
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:18,380
Listen, sister, Drew's blaming it on me
and he's trying to get me fired.
172
00:14:18,580 --> 00:14:23,260
Either you fix it or I'm going to do
something so horrible, so painful.
173
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,540
Are you having sex with Drew?
174
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:26,790
Yeah. Oh.
175
00:14:28,731 --> 00:14:35,579
of the board now we're all gathered
together i'd like to talk to you about
176
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:42,199
retail convention 1999 well they loved
it in
177
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:49,139
chicago excuse me carrie i'm giving my
presentation oh for god's sake can't
178
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:54,079
you go anywhere without your little
friend sorry to interrupt but i have
179
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,699
something very important to discuss with
the board make it quick carrie you make
180
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,560
me nervous when you're out of your box
181
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,960
From Mimi Bobeck over the years.
182
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:10,419
But this time she just didn't embarrass
me. She embarrassed the entire store in
183
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:12,920
front of every major retailer in the
Midwest.
184
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:14,760
And I would like her fired.
185
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:19,279
Oh, I'm sure you're exaggerating,
Carrie. Whatever she did, it couldn't be
186
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,960
bad. Oh, really?
187
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:28,079
Would you say that if you were on a
business trip and you went through
188
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,280
security and they found...
189
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,220
It's your other girlfriend.
190
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:48,830
Well,
191
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:52,180
Sharon, I'm kind of busy here.
192
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,270
You did this?
193
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,480
No, no, no. Why would I be mad?
194
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:04,099
Uh, where was I? Oh, yeah, that's right.
Throw out a sweet and low in the
195
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,900
cafeteria. Okay, got it. See you later.
196
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,050
I don't understand.
197
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:13,619
Are you or are you not fighting a
complaint against Bo Beck because of
198
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:14,670
left...
199
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,700
Oh, my God.
200
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:25,810
Hey,
201
00:16:27,531 --> 00:16:29,399
hey, hey.
202
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,420
I think someone owes someone an apology.
203
00:16:59,879 --> 00:17:01,220
You could ruin my career.
204
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,550
I'm sorry. I know. I heard it was
horrible.
205
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:06,330
I just thought it'd be funny. So did you
guys, right?
206
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,560
No, we didn't think it was funny at all.
207
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:15,280
You were all in on this?
208
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,200
Yeah. Kate and Louis wanted me to get
you a talking one.
209
00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:21,859
It talked a lot, but not just about
itself.
210
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:26,559
How could you betray me like this? I
mean, you know, I am the laughing stock
211
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:27,610
the whole story.
212
00:17:37,081 --> 00:17:43,569
I can't undo what happened at the
convention, but you know what? I can try
213
00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:46,109
fix things here. Can I have your
attention, please?
214
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,730
I want to set the record straight.
215
00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:52,230
The sexual device that was found in
Drew's bag didn't belong to him.
216
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,790
Well, you know, maybe sorry isn't
enough.
217
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,530
Well, what can I say to make you forgive
me?
218
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:15,750
No idea.
219
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,130
Well, if there's nothing left to say, I
guess that's it then.
220
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:20,470
Yeah, maybe it is.
221
00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:22,390
You better go.
222
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,490
Bye, Drew.
223
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,210
Well,
224
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:32,980
remember, Drew, women are like trains.
225
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,260
Eventually they all run over a pig.
226
00:19:00,669 --> 00:19:02,349
barbecuing. It's our anniversary.
227
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,370
Meteor showers, camping out.
228
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:05,950
Any of this ringing a bell?
229
00:19:05,951 --> 00:19:09,469
Yeah, but I thought you broke up with
me.
230
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:10,570
Hey, we had a fight.
231
00:19:10,571 --> 00:19:11,929
We're in a relationship.
232
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:15,420
We're not going to break up every time I
put a whoopee stick in your bag.
233
00:19:17,210 --> 00:19:18,260
We're adults.
234
00:19:19,710 --> 00:19:20,760
Wow.
235
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,060
That's nice.
236
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:26,369
I never made it through an argument this
big with a girlfriend before.
237
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:29,740
Usually by now I'd be crying into
whatever underwear I left behind.
238
00:19:36,371 --> 00:19:38,219
mad at you.
239
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,960
That doesn't mean I'm not mad at you.
240
00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:41,160
You've still got to eat.
241
00:19:41,420 --> 00:19:42,800
You've still got to have sex.
242
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,260
Hey, preacher of the choir here.
243
00:19:45,261 --> 00:19:49,499
You know what would be really romantic
right now?
244
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:50,980
If we saw a shooting star.
245
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:54,960
Why don't you make a wish anyway?
246
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:03,019
What did you wish
247
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:05,580
for? That you'd stop being such a baby.
248
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,220
That you'd get an ounce of sensitivity?
249
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:12,860
You want to see sensitive?
250
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,810
Get in the tent.
251
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,510
So what do you see?
252
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,650
Okay.
253
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:36,799
There are about six cream -filled four
or five jelly and some brick. in the
254
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:37,849
South Quarter.
255
00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:42,400
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