Original subtitles

All right.

Name of the game is Seven Cards Stud.

And just to make things interesting, if you get a nine face up, you have to eat

something not normally considered a food.

If you get a jack face up, within the next month, you have to come on to a

relative.

Anything wild?

No, just your basic offer of sex.

You can't find any good movies?

No, but listen to this. Radio station WNKW is going off the air at 6 a .m.

tomorrow morning, ending a 40 -year -old seduction of rock and roll. Oh, man, we

grew up listening to that station.

You know, when I was a kid, sometimes at night I could hear my parents trying to

make a sister.

So I'd get my transmitter radio and go to my bedroom, and then I'd turn on NKW,

and it would block out the noise.

Hey, it says here they're having an all -request day until they sign off. We

should give them a call.

Hey, that's a great idea. You know what?

Let's stay up all night and get them to play our favorite songs.

Cool, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, hold it.

Does it bother anyone that we're in our 30s and about to have a slumber party?

I get the first request! Hey, wait!

Oh, who never prospers, Kate?

Cheaters. Then why am I talking like this?

Your horse's ass.

Exactly.

Hello.

Oh, this is Lewis.

I'd like to request You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet by BTO.

Any special memories? Well, like a lot of young men, I learned to dance by

building a mechanical woman out of old car parts and leather. Would you hang

We want to talk radio.

We're just having fun here. Hey, take it up with the city council.

Maybe I will.

Come on.

How are you guys keeping those packages on anyway? We've got Velcro.

You guys got Velcro?

Caitlin must be calling this station. It's been two hours since we got

Sucks. I got about 40 songs I wanted to play.

Purple Haze, Back in Black, The Night the Lights Run Out in Georgia.

Vicki Lawrence was the star of Little Drew's first wake -up, all -grown -up

dream.

Now I'm out of beer.

Where the heck is Oswald? He went to the store like an hour ago.

Hey, Drew, Kate, Lewis, what's going on?

Oswald? I'm on the radio.

I gave the DJ 50 bucks and he let me take over.

He said he didn't care. He's getting fired tomorrow anyway.

This is your nightmare.

Grandmaster DJ MCI.

This all goes out to you, Drew. It's by the Vogue. And it goes a little

something like this.

Please turn to the emergency broadcast station on your dial.

This is not a test. This is an actual nuclear attack.

There's nothing to worry about. No test.

I put my beer down on the wrong button.

Here's the song.

Oh, every morning just to keep a job, I gotta fight my way through the hustle

and the hustle.

Sounds of the city pounding in my brain.

And we're back in the rock and roll capital. Now, let me see if there's any

records in this cave.

Ah,

here's one, one, one.

Boy, this will bring back a lot of memories for you, Kate. You remember

time that you stole Drew's money from his room and you blamed Lewis and they

beat the crap out of each other?

This one's good too, though.

A taste of honey.

Oh, it's our instruments.

They're, uh, badly out of tune.

Badly out of tune.

Horribly, hideously out of tune.

But they mean well.

So tune them up!

Uh, well, we can't, um, because we're all out of tuning wax.

Uh, so we have to go to a... Tunesmith.

So we'll, uh, practice later? Later would be good.

with me you not only get singing you get dancing too

wow

is

it me or is that the worst sound you ever heard in your life ever start your

with a cat sleeping on the manifold

Well, then, yeah, that's the worst idea.

This next song is going out to my best buddy, Lewis.

You've always been there for me, man, and I know this is going to embarrass

but you've got the soul of a poet.

Good night, Martha.

It's harder to let your hair grow than big bucks to cop your wardrobe.

But somehow you know that...

and you're listening to the Kiss My Butt I'll Play What I Want all night request

party on WNKW.

Hey, by the way, if my cable guy's listening, this is Oswald. I live at

Euclid Avenue, apartment B upstairs. The key's under the mat.

I almost said my last name on the radio.

That's a good choice. Oh, wait a second. I got a call coming through on the

hotline. This is Rock and Roll Radio.

Look, I'm drunk, I'm horny, and I want to hear Groove Thing.

Is that you?

Time warp!

Groove Thing, you dope.

Time warp!

Now, calm down, ladies. I can't play on both.

Or can I?

No.

Look. Oh, my God. It can't be.

His self -respect.

Oh, yeah?

Rocky Horror's a hell of a lot better than Priscilla.

Oh, my God.

You're a transvestite.

Stop coming together now.

She's as straight as the rest of us.

Oh, this stinks.

Rocky Horror has better music, better dancing, better everything.

Sorry, Kenny.

Your drag is old. Our drag is new.

something to say about that.

It's astounding.

Time is fleeting.

Madness takes its toll.

This is Oswald on WNKW. Plans and markets for his friends. Next up, a very

special... Ladies and gentlemen, the cops are outside of the studio.

they're going to shut me down for broadcasting without a license.

Well, I say, let the people decide and... What?

My house is broken into? How the hell did that happen?

All right, I got a call. It's the last one for you, Drew.

Free ride!

Gee, I hope they didn't take the stuff in the garage, because that's not

Not locked at all.

In the garage. I gotta go. Wait, wait, wait.

Well, the song's over.

Oh, okay.

Free FCFC.

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