All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s04e07 Nickis Wedding

10 -foot pole. Why would you carry that
around?

for Mr. Wick, huh, Larry?

How many times are you going to ask me
that? Until it stops feeling good.

Last day filling in for Mr. Wick, huh,
Larry?

Woo!

Well, at least I made it to the top.

You never had your butt kissed by 200
people, which is ironic because you got

the space for it.

Last day filling in for Mr. Wick, huh,
Larry?

burn a flag, but you can do that to it.
Doesn't seem right.

Mr. Wick had a hard time in rehab.

I'm just trying to make him feel at
home. You know, if you were gone... If

were gone... Dear Larry, I packed up
those important training tapes

you had in the bottom drawer of your
desk.

I don't have any training tape. Oh, my
poor...

My God, I harassed those women?

Welcome back, Mr. Wick.

Let me give you a nice big salute.

Yeah, that's better.

The good news is, at night, we get to
fold her up and put her in a box.

Now, gather round, everyone.

Rally round the old flag here.

Now, I made gifts for everyone in rehab.

Everyone who came to visit me.

This is for you, Mimi. It's called a
God's Eye.

For some reason, I thought of you.

Nothing says thanks for holding me while
I sweated and puked like possible

fixing yarn.

Okay, you more than anyone were there
for me.

I made you this.

It's a cubicle in a bottle.

the detail.

Look at his face. He seems to know that
that donut will bring him no joy.

And Larry, how can I thank you for
trying to steal my job?

Ah, yes.

With this.

It's a pair of underwear I found frozen
to the road.

As you can see, there's little question
as to why the gentleman threw them out.

naked on every surface of your office.

Toodles.

Toodles!

Did anybody give you any bad news,
Scott?

There is no bad news when you're gone,
Amy.

Good, you haven't heard.

I ran into someone you know down in
bridal registry.

Guess who's getting married.

Who? I don't want to pull the trigger.

She's someone who dumped you and left
you wallowing in a... pool of self -pity

so deep that it was Nikki!

Nikki! I'm getting married. I knew she
was coming up

here. Crap.

My flowery build -ups.

Nikki.

Hey, Drew.

Almost didn't recognize you.

Boy, your hair's different. You lost all
that weight.

I've been picturing a...

Whole other woman begging me to take her
back.

You know, I'm sorry I came up here and
blurted it out like that. I was going to

tell you about the wedding, and then I
chickened out, and then Mimi saw me

downstairs, and, well, here I am.

This is a mistake. No, listen, I was
trying to call you anyway. I mean, of

course, I hung up when he answered.

How come you never star 69'd me?

That's for when you don't know who it
is.

It's been a while. I mean, I'm over
that. No more thinking with my dialing

finger.

Hey, it was nice seeing you. Have a good
wedding.

Thanks. You know, I would have invited
you. I just thought it would be

incredibly awkward.

You know, like this, but with guests.

I'm kidding. I could go to the wedding
of anyone I used to... I wasn't in love

with. Loved.

Duh. Duh, you're done.

Love. Duh.

Of course, I still love you. I just love
you as a friend.

Duh.

It's really good to see you, Drew. I've
really missed you. In fact, I miss the

whole gang.

I'll see you.

Three, two, one.

Gentlemen, start your blubbering!

Sorry to disappoint you, Mimi, but I can
certainly handle this.

Oh, look into my eyes. and tell me you
don't feel like crying.

There's not a man on earth that could
pass that test for me.

I like the idea of putting our Halloween
buzz beer into tiny wax bottles.

You know darn well it was me, mister.

Them tiny fighters.

Lewis!

Oswald, no!

Oh, no, no, no. You stay out of this,
Miss Katie.

I got at least two ounces of beer in me,
and I'm ready to kick about this much

ass.

You know, just wants to, like, come home
to fire trucks in front of my house.

Oh, my God.

Vicki sent me an invitation to her
wedding.

Oh, you want to talk about it, buddy?

I can't believe she did this. I told you
I ran into her the other day. I mean,

she was a mess.

You're not going to go, are you?

I don't know. You know, it might not be
fair to the groom.

I mean, he shouldn't be standing there
thinking, oh, great, this guy was tough

with my wife.

And then Nicky's bound to make some
comparisons. They might not be

To him.

Oh, yes.

Um, once again, you're not going to go,
are you?

Well, she sent me an invitation. She
wouldn't have sent me an invitation if

didn't want me to be there.

Drew, it's a courtesy invitation.

Nobody expects you to go.

It's like when you ask who wants the
last piece of pizza.

It's not the same thing at all.

They'll be disappointed if I don't show
up.

So, Drew, we've all been there, okay?
Don't listen to that dumb little voice

your head that's saying, maybe you
should go. Maybe you should go.

I mean, you've got to be curious to see
this guy, right?

You're not helping, Oswald. He's going
to go to this thing. It's going to break

his heart.

Yeah, yeah, and then you're going to
grab the ring. You're not going to want

give it back. We're going to have to
chase you around the boat.

He's on a boat?

Who knows he's on a boat?

Okay, we've got invitations, too, but
don't worry, we're not going.

He didn't tell me he was on a boat.

We knew how excited you'd get, okay? But
we're not going to Nicky's wedding

without Drew. I'll take you on a damn
boat.

Yeah, well, a wagon ride in the backyard
is not a boat.

Well, it's the best I can do. Well, I
want to let him go get on the road. You

guys are right.

I shouldn't go.

But you should go. It's about time
Oswald saw the world.

I don't know, Drew. What are you going
to do that night?

Hey, that's two Saturdays from now. I
don't plan that far ahead.

I'm the kind of guy that just picks up
the remote, whatever happens, happens.

I gotta tell you, I was really surprised
that you called, Drew.

I mean, you've been coming to that video
store for like five years.

Well, you know, it's Saturday night and
my friends are all at a function.

I thought, hey, who better than Margaret
to take my mind off, well, you know,

all the things going on in the world.

Geez, it's kind of crowded in here.
Think we'll get a table?

Nah. Hey, let's go to a wedding.

Are you okay?

Yeah, fine.

Just didn't know we were going to have
to run for the boat.

And then leap from the pier.

Yeah, it was like we were Simon and
Simon for a second there, wasn't it?

I think I'm going to get a drink.

Drew, what the hell are you doing here?

Well, I thought about it, and I didn't
want to be a poor sport.

Besides, they'd be insulted if I didn't
show up.

Drew, what the hell are you doing here?

Hey, Mrs. Pfeiffer.

Boy, you know, I wouldn't have missed
this for the world. Your response card

said you weren't coming.

Oh, those...

Crazy neighborhood kids always getting
my mail and changing my RSVPs.

I'm sorry, but we have no place for you
to sit.

I'll just sit on this trunk over here.

She said, shall I invite him?

I said, sure.

He's not going to come.

Oswald, get me out of this trunk.

Hey,

how's the date going?

Couldn't be better. Good.

Excuse me. Harvey, just get a seat.
Harvey, just get a seat.

The bar's open.

Well, unlocked, anyway.

Hey, uh, has anybody seen Nicky?

No. If it's bad luck for the groom to
see the bride before the wedding, I can

only imagine what it must be for the ex
-fiancé.

Ex -fiancé?

You two were engaged?

Oh, fiancé, friend.

The important thing is I'm here with you
tonight.

Margaret?

There's Nikki.

I better tell her I'm okay with all this
stuff. She doesn't think I'm doing

anything crazy at our wedding.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi.

Dude. Just want to let you know, I've
been thinking about this whole thing,

I'm fine with everything, and I'm really
happy for you. I hope you have a great

life. I told you he was going to come.

Now, if you'll excuse us, that song only
plays so long.

Okay, great. Go, go, go.

She dumped you, didn't she?

It was mutual.

You both hated me, and she's the only
one that had the nerve enough to leave.

Attention! Attention, everyone!

Once again, may I present to you Mr.

and Mrs.

Chris Banjo.

Which was wearing me like a tux.

And three days after the wedding, she
chops him into little pieces, puts him

a box, and mailed him to his mother.

Crazy kids.

Hey there, buddy.

Drew Carey.

Really, really good to meet you, huh?

Nice to meet you, too. Really good to
meet you. Drew works at Winford Louder.

He's an executive.

Wow, hey, that's great. Yeah, yeah.

Construction. He's building our house.

Oh, you're building a house all by
yourself, huh? Well, good for you. Good

you. That's great. That's amazing.

I don't think that's so great. Drew can
put a fifth in his mouth.

That's pretty amazing.

Well, nice to meet everybody. We've got
to mingle.

See you later, Drew. Okay, hey, still
great with it.

Well, that was uncomfortable.

I've never sweated vicariously before.

You guys are reading way too much into
this.

Frankly, I feel sorry for her. I mean,
talk about your poor man's Drew Carey.

More like your blind man's Drew Carey.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to make a
toast to my Nikki.

You know, we all worry that our little
girl is not going to find the right guy.

She drags home all kinds of losers,
characters,

near Drew Wells.

I mean, near Drew.

right choices.

Joke's on him, Drew, because he's seen
his daughter's boobies.

If anybody else wants to make a toast,

now's the time.

Huh? No, no, Drew, no, no, no.

I'd like to make a toast, please.

Look, son, up to now, you've been a
musing buffoon, but if you step over the

line... I'm going to kick you so hard
we'll have to wait for your morning

to get my boot back.

By the time I'm done, you'll wish you
had another daughter to give away.

Hello, everybody.

I'm Drew.

I've been trying to tell everybody how
happy I am for Nicky and Chris.

I just want to say that I hope that one
day I am as happy as they

appear to be tonight.

Peace. Wow.

Well, I'm just a working man, so I'm not
really good with words. But if I could

just build on what Drew said, I wish you
all the happiness that Nikki and I

share.

And I don't know who it was that wrote,
but ah, if empty dreams so please, love,

give me more such nights as these.

Oh, wasn't it beautiful?

Anybody else?

No, no, no.

All right, let's turn off the waterworks
and continue dancing.

to come to Nicky's wedding. Oh, no,
Drew. I still think you can turn it

Hey, they just cut the minister in a
closet with the best man.

And guess what?

People are still talking about you.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Drew.

Well, we'll leave you two alone.

I'm gonna use the head.

That's what they call a toilet on a
boat.

All right, all right. I admit it.

I still have some feelings for you.

Really? What an excellent reason to have
not come to my wedding.

Look, you know I would never do anything
to hurt you on purpose.

I know that, Drew.

Listen, uh, there's something I want to
say to you, and, uh, I couldn't tell you

in the office because I was too nervous,
and I couldn't do anything on the phone

because this has been too crazy, but
dump that guy.

Come on, you can come with me. It's not
too late.

Come on, I got nothing to lose anymore.

I know I'm in a basket now, but I'm not
going to be in a basket forever.

You've got to give me a chance.

Come on.

It's the last chopper on a Saigon, baby.
Come on, let's go, go.

All right.

Now I'll tell you the tale of the
slightly awkward wedding at sea.

The night was dark as pitch.

350 pounds he was, a great white.

Little doll's eyes and great big torn
dream glasses.

And let me tell you a little something
about Drew.

He eats and he swims.

That's all he does.

Except for the swimming part.

He fought that chopper.

Oh, how he fought that chopper all the
way up into the sky.

So what happened to him?

They chopped him up.

And they put him in that chowder you're
eating now.