Original subtitles

World China.

I can't get my feet back on the ground.

World China.

Everybody's got it down.

Everybody's trying to say I'm wrong.

I just want to be back where I belong.

I've got to get my feet back on the ground.

Maybe I'm wrong, but you should say what's right.

I need somebody to help me treat another.

Johnson.

Mimi. You're fired.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Can't you all see we're in a red beard?

Hey.

Johnson.

Mimi.

You're fired.

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Can't you all see we're in a red beard?

Hey. What's up?

You fire. See me?

Nice. Wait a second, wait a second.

Can't you all see that we're in a red gear?

I hope this helps you decide to open a Winfrey Louder store in Hanoi.

Of course, there will be some cultural differences.

For example, I'm sure you won't be devoting as much space to the big and

section. Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha,

ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha,

ha,

ha. Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha,

ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha,

ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha,

ha, ha. Ha, ha,

clean that up for me, would you?

Way ahead of you.

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, look.

Satan stopped using birth control.

Yeah, your mother probably insisted.

This is Antonio.

My boyfriend gave him to me. And I couldn't leave him at home in this heat.

skin folds get all...

You know what that's like.

Kerry, I need to talk to you. Oh, look.

You brought your pet to work. How lovely.

Have you met my pet?

He's called Mr.

Penn. Mr.

Penn? Oh, look. He's doing a trick.

It's a memo.

No dogs allowed.

A dog is just a dog. He's an object of love.

Sure, that's fine for you, but there are laws protecting the dog.

I have a question for you.

What would you do with an employee that was caught napping in the bedding

department during workouts?

I'd fire him right now.

You wanted to see me, Wick?

Brian, Drew here wants me to fire you for sleeping at work, but I, on the

hand, have constructed an elaborate fantasy life which requires your

So just consider this a severe and lecherous reprimand.

Give us a hug, then.

No, you should fire me.

Who are we kidding? I'm bored and I'm doing a crappy job here. Kate, Kate,

on. You're always grumpy first thing in the afternoon.

Come on, you need this job.

But I hate my job.

Oh, you hate your job? Oh, my God, why don't you say so?

No, there's a support group for that. It's called Everybody.

They meet at the bar.

Okay. If you won't fire me, I quit.

Uh, Mr. Wick, let me handle this. Of course.

Better to beg a woman not to leave.

I defer to the master.

Why did this happen? Why don't you come to me? I want to do something I love. I

want to look forward to waking up at work.

I need something more.

Okay, well, here's what we'll do.

Go ahead and quit.

And if after a week you still haven't found anything new, then I'll give you

your job.

You will?

Thanks.

Sit and make like a troll.

But if you don't want to come back, I'll understand.

Okay, next time we get to pick the song.

When does the band get back?

They went home, man. They left Saturday like an hour ago.

They would like more music.

The equipment's up there. We know how to play. Yeah, but, you know, we haven't

practiced. We may not sound that great. No, they like it, sir.

They think you're singing bad on purpose.

I am, Campy. I'm the Vietnamese Bette Midler.

Night, night.

Bette Midler.

Yes, they are ready to roll.

Tramp!

Have you got a dollar for me?

Tramp!

Hey!

Uh, uh, sorry.

That was amazing, man. What a rush. That was better than sex.

At least, you know, sex with me.

Yeah, I can't believe they asked us to come back and play all next week.

Yeah, see, man, we can't do it.

What do you mean, why can't we do it? We had a blast.

We got jobs, man.

I'm just starting to move up. I got to keep my eye on the ball here. I can't be

working all day and then playing all night.

I'm not the wild 18 -year -old running around raising duppies and help my mom

bake banana bread anymore.

Hi.

I'm Darcy. This is my friend Tina.

Great show tonight.

Oh, my God.

You're groupies.

We're not groupies. That implies that we like the whole group.

You guys have this really great garage kind of thing going on.

Thanks. You too.

And, you know, I love this, um...

Dorky like.

Believe it or not, I got a closet full of this stuff.

She does.

So, where are you playing next?

Actually, we're going to be playing here all next week.

Great, then I'll see you next week.

I thought you didn't have time for this because of your job.

Excuse me, am I the only one that saw the pretty girl talking to the chubby

Okay, so we're all in, aren't we? Yeah.

Okay, now, look, if we're going to get serious about the band, we have to fill

in the sound, okay? We need a guitar player. All right, I'll put up a notice

the music store.

Yeah, well, what are we going to get somebody to play on one day's notice for

only $10?

He's going to make us look like crap.

Get rid of him.

Thank you.

I could do show tunes.

We'll call you.

Very. Next!

Are you really attached to the beard?

It's a Texas goatee.

Next.

Whoa,

still too good.

What are you guys looking for?

Rhodes High School Chess Club.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't be nervous, son. Just slow down.

It's supposed to sound that way.

Yeah, sure it is.

Next.

I'm really sorry. We don't need a...

tell jokes. Did you hear about the rabbit?

or might be interested in me.

Hey, you came.

Yeah.

Wow. I never thought I'd say this and mean it, but nice accordion.

This isn't like a sorority initiation.

I mean, you're... You're not going to take me to one of those pig parties, are

you?

No. See, that's what I like about you.

No attitude.

You'll never let success go to your head.

Are you kidding me? Won't let it anywhere near me.

It wouldn't be bad to make a few bucks, right?

Oh, well, I have another job.

I'm the International Assistant Director of Personnel over at Winford Louder.

What the hell do you think I do? I work at a pet store sweeping up stuff.

God, I can't believe we haven't run into each other before.

What other pants were you in?

Oh, well, for the last ten years, I was in the cubicles.

And before that, I was in the frat house losers.

Mama's boys.

Young bedwetters.

I gotta talk to you, pig.

Hey.

That's my nickname. Kind of like Charlie Bird Parker.

Right with you, clownfish.

Who do you want? How'd you get here?

Mr. Wick made me track you down.

You're supposed to go straight over to Mrs. Louder's house.

She's having a cocktail party.

Guess they just closed the deal on the Vietnam store.

Oh.

Listen, here's what you do.

Tell her I'm really happy for the store, but I have a previous engagement.

You're turning down the boss to play with your crummy band?

Okay, yeah, good idea. I'll tell her. Bye.

It's just a party. What's the big deal?

Oh, yeah, it's just a party. And it won't embarrass her too much that the

that scored the deal didn't show up. Maybe she'll admire your independence.

Ah!

Is she in a band?

No,

she works at the hotel. She keeps the crows away from the dumpsters.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, but some came up and I gotta go.

Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping we could hang out tonight.

Close your eyes.

Are you gonna kiss me?

No, I just don't want you to see me walk away.

It's not my best side.

Guys, I know this is kind of a crummy thing to do, but I've got to go to this

business party at Mrs. Louder's house, so I'll see you later.

Wait a minute. We're about to do the Zeppelin medley. How the hell do you

Whole Lotta Love without an accordion?

You know what, Drew? You're right. This is just a little gig at the Ramada Inn.

It's not worth anything except it's a whole lot of fun.

And you know what?

For once, I'm going to do something I want to do instead of doing something I

have to do.

Hell with that party. Come on, man. Let's rock and roll. All right.

All right.

Can I go to the party?

Hey, Kate. How's the job hunt going?

How's it going?

My future is bright.

Brighter than ever. Ask me why.

Oh, my God. What happened to your teeth?

I am the new Cleveland rep for Glimmer Bright.

You wear this very comfortable system of straps, tubes, and braces as you sleep.

your teeth are white and beautiful, you'll have a movie star smile.

And when your teeth are... Let me try a little experiment.

I overbleached my teeth.

It's like having 32 exposed nerves.

Oh, you poor thing.

Wow, for such a powerful toothpaste, it really doesn't do a lot for your breath,

does it?

It's the bleach and the rotting flesh.

I think that thing hanging down the back of my throat fell off.

I want my job back.

You win.

No.

What? Look, since I've been doing my music, I realize that you were right.

I mean, it's finding something you love that's important.

So, I can't give you your job back.

Might as well smile. I can see your teeth through your lips anyway.

Fine.

That's the kind of slight breeze in the teeth I needed to wake me up.

Hey, maybe there's still an opening at Perma Shoes. The only pair of shoes

you'll ever need.

Hey, Drew. Hey, guys.

Ready for lunch? Yeah.

Hey, you know, my dad worked in a place like this.

He hung himself from something like that.

Feeling better about what?

Well, you were sick. We called in yesterday and I said you were sick in

I was in bed, but I wasn't sick.

Oh,

somebody got Sega.

No, I didn't get Sega, but there was a lot of scoring going on.

No, I was in bed all day having sex with Darcy.

You skipped work to have fun? Who are you, mister?

Hey, look, it's fat folds five.

All right, messages.

Ed, this is Mimi. Mimi, this is Ed.

Oh, thank God.

back to your place.

The 60s?

Oh, my God.

The manager at Dramata called. He wants us to be the new permanent house band.

I quit the band. I can't hold down two jobs.

Gary,

I need to talk to you.

Oh, hey, listen, if it's about Mrs. Louder's party, I'm really sorry. I was

just... Coming down with the thing that kept me home yesterday.

Oh, yeah.

No, it's not about that.

They need you in a store in Hanoi. You're going to Vietnam.

What? Yes, you leave first thing in the morning. Our Vietnamese counterparts

want you there personally to help with the staffing.

I can't go to Vietnam. Things are just getting started with my band.

Okay. Ever since I've been here, you've whined and moaned for more

responsibility. Now, either you give up this band of yours, or you say goodbye

to the promotion.

It's your choice.

Ladies and gentlemen, the airport Ramada presents our new house band, the

Horndogs.