Original subtitles

Yes.

You know, of course, that my client will deny everything.

It's her word against his.

You can't let him get away with it.

But you'd better go through.

Without other witness, you don't have a leg to stand on.

He's right, of course, Frank.

What do you mean?

Why don't you sit down?

I don't want to sit down. That man has ruined my chances of competing in the

European Championships, just so his precious girlfriend can take my place.

Now that I'm injured, Sarah Reeves takes my seat on the plane to Europe. We need

more evidence.

But she's given positive ID.

It won't be enough to guarantee a conviction, not without corroboration.

So what's our next move, sir?

Arrest him.

Doesn't anyone believe me?

You say he did it so his girlfriend can take your place.

Can you prove that Mitchell is having a relationship with this other skater?

Everybody knows.

People have seen them together.

Which people?

Oh, the people in the British team.

And do you think that any of them will give evidence against their own coach?

Unless you can prove his motive.

What do you suggest we do, sir?

Release him. What?

Let him go.

The press will crucify us. Let him go and have him followed.

If we can get proof that he really is having an affair with this other skater,

we'll have a case.

But until then, he's a free man.

Just do it, Frank.

You know, Bob, some people only watch this sport to see people fall over.

Sport?

This isn't a sport.

It is.

It's in the Olympic Games.

Yes, I was walking fast with your bum sticking out.

It's a proper sport.

Anybody could do this.

I did this myself when I was at school.

Aycox Green mixed junior and infant skidder champion, three years on the

Forgive me, Robert, I can't help feeling that you're missing some of the

nuances.

There is more to this than vanishing the soles of your flimsolls and skidding

across a frozen puddle.

This is like ballet.

Grace and posture.

Fluid movement.

Oh, she nearly went then.

Oh, it's all over!

You enjoying the show, lads?

Yes, very nice.

It's all right. You haven't missed anything. No one's fallen over.

Not yet.

You know, I could make an official complaint about police harassment.

Harassment?

We're just watching the skating, aren't we, Bob?

Yeah.

Well, if you're really going to follow me everywhere I go, you're going to have

to learn one or two new tricks.

Come on, Bob.

Remember what the super said.

Come on.

Now let him out right straight.

To James, without whom the British skating team simply couldn't function.

He's our coach, our fixer, our driver, and our number one supporter.

Here's to him. Cheers.

Oh,

wow, isn't this cosy?

Stay where you are, Sarah, or I'll break your knee as well.

Oh, Emily, how is your knee?

I never did quite fit in, did I?

Perhaps I should have taken you up on your offer.

Remember, James?

Come back to my place and we'll talk about some interesting new positions.

Oh, didn't he tell you, Sarah?

Well, he tried it on with me first.

But I didn't realise then that sleeping with a coach was part of the

qualification procedure.

Oh, Emily, why don't you go home and rest?

You can watch the finals on television like everyone else.

You're not going to get away with this!

It isn't frostbite.

It's just badly bruised.

Oh, dang, what is that stuff?

Hang on.

This is Vic.

That's all there was in the first aid box.

Vic? Well, at least I won't be getting an irritating, tickly cough in me knee

now, will I?

Granted, I am not actually a doctor. I was a very sickly child.

I personally found the smell of Vic very comforting.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's my leg.

I'm having trouble with the clutch. Look, I've had a really bad day.

And it's about to get much, much worse.

Here, coppers.

Out of your pocket.

You're the two policemen that arrested James.

Emily Ford?

Oh, God, I didn't do that, did I? Oh, no, he just had a little skating

I've got Vic in me cot.

So you are taking Mitchell seriously?

Don't you worry your pretty little head about Mitchell. We're on his case, all

right. Everywhere he goes, he'll be followed.

Every little move he makes, he'll be tracked.

There he is. With the aid of state -of -the -art electronic surveillance

equipment and our own finely -tuned wolf -like instinct for the chase, we will

stick to that man like... Like...

To see things that stick to rocks on holiday.

Olympics. Did you just get in the car?

No, madam.

You don't have to worry. Just thank God that we're out there.

Where are you going?

I'm going after Mitchell.

Look, he's getting away.

Get in this car. I don't think yours will make it.

Cruciate ligament was damaged.

Cruciate ligament?

And was the bone fractured? Changed.

Yes, it was.

What are you getting at?

Well, did it look anything like this?

It's not broken.

If it was broken, you wouldn't be able to wiggle your toes.

I can't wiggle my toes.

Look, there she is.

No, she can't. You're just keeping them still deliberately.

Come on, now.

This little piggy wants a little.

What's he doing?

Every Wednesday, he's trying to eat me for the extra tuition.

Do you want to get some Vic on this new of yours, you know?

Ah, gotcha.

Yes, Bob.

Cleared this one up nicely.

play in sports, but should we?

I mean, little Emily, she can't get into the British team because she refused to

get her leg over with the coach.

Well, I won't be getting my leg over anything for a big, big month.

When does that Dr. Fives get here?

He's finished reconstructing that bungee jumper.

I hope he blots his hands.

Speak of the devil.

Welcome to the dungeon of death.

Edinburgh's got Burke in here.

We've got an airless Burke.

Hank upped yourself to a moving bus again, bitten by a marmoset,

beaten up by a crocodile, a migrant infant.

Broken me knee.

Eight graved his knee. I don't get paid for patching you lot up, you know.

No desire to treat the living, not that you're a liar, Louis.

God, would you make a fascinating...

You seem to be clinging to life in spite of the utter futility and pointlessness

of your existence.

Well, look, we couldn't go out in the daytime without turning into a pile of

faggash. Oh, putrefaction.

Is it?

No, but I just like saying it.

It's like gangrenous or necrotizing fasciitis.

Is it bad?

You'll live, sadly.

I'll need to freeze it.

Nurse. Nurse, ice.

Bottom left -hand drawer.

So, what have you two been up to, eh?

Bishop of Durham, grant the absolute.

That wasn't our fault.

What's that smell?

He put this on me nape.

Not that. That's the Sunday roast. The canteen freezer's broken down again.

Let's draw up. Anyway, it might interest you to know of the Prince of Darkness.

that we have just solved a very difficult case, haven't we, Bob?

Yes, we have.

It was similar to that case of the American skaters. You know, Keir Ardy

Tanya?

Sonia?

You're the one.

Who's my name, Cole?

It's a wild stab in the dark, but it may have something to do with advice.

Nobody can show me that those two are not having an affair.

Ah, Briggs, Louis.

I want a word with you two.

You know, we only need a mouth organ. We could be in a World War I field

hospital. Is it bad?

Tennis elbow.

Because you're over 40, love.

What did you want to see us about, sir?

Well, it's about the Emily Ford case.

Ha! You mean the now -solved Emily Ford case.

Take a look at that.

Ipso facto.

Ergo, prima facie.

I took it, sir, even though the pain from me leg was blinding. You liar, it

Emily. I mean, it was me.

Me.

Me.

He hit his head on the ice, sir. I took it.

Good work, lad, but I'm afraid... Afraid what, sir?

I'm afraid the Emily Ford case is closed.

You bet it is. Pick up Mitchell, throw him in a vat of acid.

No, I mean the investigation is terminated. As of now, we've had some

from above.

The British Olympic Committee asked us if we could see our way to holding off

the investigation until after the European Championships in Zurich.

They said it wouldn't look good.

It wouldn't be good for morale for the rest of our athletes.

Hang on.

Well done, Louis. Now you bust a stitch in. No, never mind a stitch in. Just

until after the Championship.

You see, there's going to be a lot of important people attending the Games.

Prime Minister, royalty.

They don't want a cloud hanging over the event.

I see. I understand.

Robert, do you see what they're trying to do?

No big thing. I smell the unmistakable odour of corruption.

And mendacity.

And Vic.

I wonder what that smell was.

Just goes to show you, Bob, the Senate of Fair Play is dead and vetted. You

can't just take it off the case just like that.

He's given us his house -to -house assignment on purpose, if the teachers

left with it.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

And it's what who you know knows about what you know as well.

I know.

Who is it?

Police. They're making house -to -house inquiries about a couple of bogus

callers who are operating in the area.

Can we come in?

Oh, I don't know about that.

There's been a lot of bogus callers around here lately.

Yes, we know.

That's what we want to warn you about.

Have you got any identification?

Here you are, mate.

Anybody could make a... badge and put a bit of writing on it.

Yes, we know.

That's what we want to warn you about.

We just want to come in for a little chat, give you some advice.

We want to warn you about letting strangers in without proper

Well, let us in.

No, I don't trust you.

But he's just shown you his ID.

The police told us. If in doubt, keep them out. Yes.

That's what it says on our leaflet.

Look.

Anybody that don't get a leaflet printed... Suspicious old git.

You can always make our case to the chief super, you know. No, he's worse

the super. He won't do anything that might affect his knighthood.

You wouldn't think, would you, watching Ski Sunday with such a nest of vipers?

That's skiing, Bob.

Different sport.

Same thing, it's just at an angle.

Hello?

Police. We're investigating some bogus callers who've been... Which one of you

is this supposed to be?

It's me.

Don't look like you.

Well, it was taken a long time ago.

You look like a different person.

Well, I've had a stressful few years. Can we cut it?

What happened to your moustache?

I shaved it off.

Why?

I don't know. Fashion, vanity, dandruff in me mouth.

Hang on.

When did you have a moustache?

What? I don't remember you having a moustache. Well, I had one.

When? For God's sake, I don't know. Ten years ago.

Well, I knew you ten years ago. I don't remember you having a moustache.

I'm calling the police.

We are the police!

Of course, if this was the jelly, we'd carry on anyway.

Carry on what?

Carry on with the investigation.

You know, the chief says, you're off the case.

And you just go off and do it in your spare time.

What, just to prove a point? Yeah.

Oh, hello, little girl.

What's your name?

Olivia.

Yes. I know you live here.

No, stupid.

That's my name.

Olivia.

OK, Olivia.

Is your mummy in?

No, but my daddy is.

What the hell do you want?

We're police officers and we're here to warn you about... Have you got

identification?

No, the woman next door's got it. She kept it by mistake. I'll go and get it.

Bob, have you got yours?

I've heard about you two.

Excuse me, madam, can I have my badge back, please?

Don't let him in, Ivy!

He hasn't got identification!

That's because she's got it.

These two have been trying to get in my house. The order two have been throwing

on the old ladies in their beds.

That's it.

That's why we're here.

I'll call the police.

Oi! Down down there!

Louis,

I'm curious.

You certainly are.

How do you turn simple house -to -house inquiries into a scene from Death Wish

2? What is this, Louis?

Is it a genuine suicide attempt or simply a cry for help?

You know, it might be worth organising a stand to find out what your patients

really think of you.

I hope that's not embalming fluid you put in on the air.

A bit of a grand title for your cranial bum fluff, isn't it?

Hark who's talking, old desert dome.

I'm bored for a choice. I have the face for it.

Your tonsorial crisis is an act of God, hence the remaining tufts look like mold

growing on a crumpet.

It's amazing what you can do with a needle and thread, isn't it?

Would you hold this for me?

an hour, I could meet you at 2K.

What's the matter?

Not in the mood for jokes today?

Things getting on top of you?

You look like someone's just died.

Not someone, something.

The Olympic spirit.

Oh, that.

Yes, that.

I'll tell you what they've done.

They've made us look ridiculous.

And what's Emily going to say?

Well, we'll find out soon enough. She telephoned earlier.

to say she'd found some more evidence, so told her to meet us here.

I'm not one to listen to gossip, but I heard that the Emily Ford case was

closed.

We're going to look into it in our spare time, aren't we, Dave? Yeah, like on

the telly.

Your superintendent isn't going to like this.

Cobblers to the superintendent.

Cobblers to him.

Bob's idea, anyway.

No, it wasn't. It was yours.

So, just off the top of your heads, what are you going to do next?

I'm sorry, love. I don't do passing trade. I only accept people who are

dead. I've got these from Mitchell's flat.

They're, um, love letters from Sarah.

The whole plot's in there.

Great. Let's call the super.

Have you got a phone here? No, no.

Just the super.

We can speak to Mitchell after, haven't we? Good idea.

I know exactly where he is.

And there are two.

Let's go. Come on.

Hello, and welcome to Guildford. In just under, what, ten minutes' time, the

British skating team will be performing for the last time in front of their home

crowd before they jet off to Zurich and the European Champs.

Superintendent Cotton.

Oh, hello. Hello. Dr. Fibes here.

How's the elbow?

Oh, good. Good.

Listen, I'm not one to gossip, but I've just had Louis and Briggs in here.

And apparently, well, from what I can gather... As you can hear, it's a packed

house, a full sell -out, and so many people here to see the newcomer, Sarah

Reed, who's joined the squad after the unfortunate accident to Emily Ford.

I want some relax.

Be all right. I know.

Why so tense?

What Emily said about you and her earlier, it isn't true, is it?

You mean you believed her?

Come on, you keep your mind on the ice. You're on in exactly one minute.

What are you doing here?

Recognise these cuddly knickers?

Come on, sir! Get him out there! Get him out!

And now, the moment that so many people have been waiting for, the climax of the

evening, the appearance of the newcomer, Sarah Reed.

Now, according to all the free publicity, she's going to be attempting

that have never been seen on the ice before.

So, get ready for some fireworks.

Sarah Reed begins her performance.

You know, what's this?

Well, this is absolutely remarkable.

The audacity of this young lady. There are now three, no, four people on the

ice, and one's on an ice machine.

Well, that was possibly the most innovative dance routine I have seen

Torval and Dean's Valera.

But it's not over yet. There's someone else on the island.

French! Louis!

Where are you?