Original subtitles

that was fine.

This time I want Red Group to try attacking the left flank of the line.

Then I'll call in the mounted boys and we'll see if we can push the rioters

a side street.

Where are Briggs and Lewis?

Ready, Bob?

Oh, yeah.

Let's give the pigs some stick.

Last time I saw them, sir, they were getting a bit, well, carried away.

Okay, so, how is he?

Oh.

Eighteen stitches.

Concussion.

Double vision.

Had to have his head shaved, of course.

Lost a pint of blood.

And he's got a broken knuckle.

How did he get a broken knuckle?

Well, when he came to, he was still a bit delirious.

He punched the anaesthetist.

Punched him, and he kept on shouting, You're a dead man, Louis.

A dead man.

A dead man. Yes, yes, I think we've got the point.

Oh, yes.

Wouldn't like to be in your shoes when a super finally gets back on his feet.

My shoes?

What do you mean, my shoes?

Well, oh, it was your bottle that actually hit him.

No, it bloody wasn't. Oh, yes, it was.

You see, I paused momentarily just before I threw mine, and I saw it land

harmlessly on waste ground.

Oh, right.

So you're going to try and wriggle out of this one like you normally do? No,

no, no, no. Bob, never let it be said that I'm not a loyal partner.

When it comes to the disciplinary hearing, I'll be there with a character

reference.

It was not my bottle that hit him.

It was yours, because I saw it land.

You liar!

I know it was yours, because yours was a brown ale bottle.

And it was bigger than mine. Mine was a baby sham bottle.

Well, there weren't any baby sham bottles, so that just goes to prove that

you're a liar. If it wasn't a baby sham bottle, why was there a little bambi on

it?

Little bambi?

You've gone mad!

Laugh.

What, sir?

Laugh.

I want you both to laugh.

Laugh, sir.

Nothing to laugh at.

Oh, yes, there is a place.

Oh, yes, there is. We all know what there is to laugh at.

So I want you both to laugh.

See, Henry's laughing.

Sir, come on, both of you.

Laugh.

Louder.

I want you to laugh louder.

Sir,

you could always borrow my hat, sir.

Henry? Sir, if at any time during the next 30 seconds I make a grab at Louis

try to strangle him, I want you to restrain me. Understand?

Yes, head.

Okay,

okay. Let's get this over with as quickly as possible.

Sir, when I said... And you, and you, are not to say a word.

If either of you says anything...

responsible for my actions. Understand?

Don't even nod.

Okay. Let's get down to business.

I've got a special assignment for you two hotheads.

It's a dangerous assignment.

A very dangerous assignment.

Now, you may think I'm giving you this assignment out of a perverted desire for

revenge.

And you'd be right.

I'll just, uh...

Get off now, shall I say? I want you in on this as well.

I need someone to hold these two clowns' hands.

Because where you three are going, it could get very, very rough.

You'd better go and say to the bull, surely.

I've got some business to attend to. Right, right.

Superintendent Cotton to see you, Mr Laws.

Ah, yes. Send him in, please.

Superintendent. Take a seat.

Thank you.

So, how's the investigation going? Make any headway?

I mean focus.

Well, I think we're getting somewhere, Mr Laws.

I've got three of my boys going to the Ronnie Goodall gymnasium today.

I hope they can handle themselves.

They're working undercover.

One of my boys is pretending to be a fighter who needs gym space. The other

are his seconds.

They're heading up the investigation.

Is something funny, Mr Laws?

Funny? No.

No, not at all.

Cough.

I've, um... I've got the report back from the lab.

Testiline ditoxin.

Never heard of it. Very few people have.

It's a mix of adrenaline and testosterone taken from balls' pituitary

It's a natural substance, so it doesn't show up on dope tests.

Clever.

Causes massive increases in levels of aggression.

Temporary enhancement of muscle groups.

Liable to induce psychotically violent behaviour.

Sounds pretty hot stuff.

It is, in the hands of someone like Ronnie Goodall.

No wonder his fighters have been taking every title in the Southeastern

Division. Do you have a description of this stuff, so I can let my boys know

what to look for? I can do better than that.

a sample of it right here.

How much of this stuff did Ronnie give you this morning?

I'm scared, Shorty.

I'm scared, Dave.

You're dead.

I'm the one who's supposed to be the boxer. Yeah, well, you don't have to do

actual boxing.

You've just got to look like a boxer. It's racism, that's what it is. Look,

we're all in this together.

You're a boxer, he's the trainer and I'm the manager. It's because I'm black.

Well, he couldn't be the boxer, could he?

There isn't anything below flyweight.

I thought I was going to be the manager. No, you are the trainer.

That's why you're dressed up like Jimmy Savile.

You and the boys want to rent a space in the gym?

Yeah, that's right.

It's your boy.

I am not their boy.

OK, OK, that's what I like to see, a bit of aggression in a fighter.

You're the trainer?

Yep.

Punchy Peters.

And I'm his manager.

Sugar Boy Sweetie.

Well, so long as you've got 80 quid a day to spend, half the gym's yours.

Oh, and if your boy fancies a bit of sparring, I've just got a vacancy.

Why did I let myself get mixed up with you two?

You could have both of them with one arm behind you.

One in the breadbasket, they're all the same.

You want two!

Jab, jab, hook!

Jab, jab, hook!

Bob and weave, bob and weave, duck and dive.

Henry's hammer, float like a butterfly, sting like a pumpkin.

Hey, come on, Hatfield.

I'm trying to pinch out ideas.

Yeah, I used to do a bit myself, you know, when I was younger.

That's more than I've done.

I've never even stepped inside a bloody boxing ring.

You? Did boxing?

Yeah, when I was at school.

Sick. Doctor made me give it up in the end.

Problem with me eyes.

What was that?

Detached retina?

No, every time somebody hit him, he burst into tears.

Go on.

Feel that.

You what?

A dominoes.

Stomach like a draining board.

Go on, hit me.

Dave. Go on, hit me.

Right there. Go on, hard as you like.

Right there.

Go on.

Hard as you like when I say...

Nothing about it. We've got a job to do here.

What the...? That's how Houdini died, you know.

There's a ring for you if you want it, lads.

Quite in fit.

Raring to go.

Who is he?

I don't know

Let's show these Nancy's

Proves it.

You're still in pretty good shape.

Yeah, good shape for an avocado.

Danny, can I have a word?

I've been in the fight game for 30 years.

Now, forgive me if I blow my own trumpet, but I've got an eye for

You know what I mean, Danny?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Fighting is something you're born with. Something in here.

Now, I'm the sort of bloke who likes to speak plain.

And it's none of my business.

But who are those two clowns in there?

My trainer and my manager.

They go back a long way, do you?

Yeah. Something like that.

Well, I like loyalty.

I admire it.

But what you need is some proper help.

Professional. Somebody to work on your technique.

And you need a bit of iron.

A bit of aggression.

Know what I mean?

So how's the fight going?

I think we're getting away with it, sir.

Bob made a bit of a fool of himself by trying to end the medicine ball, but

they're buying your cover.

Yes, sir. In fact, Ronnie Goodall's already taken me over to one side. Has

Good work.

Yeah, he said I should ditch the two tiller girls I call Seconds and fill my

letter with him.

OK.

Now, this is the stuff we want you to be looking out for.

It's called tetanus.

It's a natural steroid, virtually undetectable.

and small doses can cause psychotic behaviour.

It also induces rapid muscle growth and enhanced stamina.

Other side effects include accelerated hair growth and

a huge increase in the male sexual urge,

along with a measurable expansion of the male sexual organ.

It's, uh, pretty hot stuff.

Terrible to think that that bastard Goodall has been feeding his poisons

finest.

Sir.

When you say measurable, do you mean measurable by

scientists with microscopes, or measurable as in, like, an ordinary

ruler?

I don't know. How would I know? I haven't got a ruler.

I haven't got a ruler here.

I've got a ruler at home.

We all have.

Anyway, this is the substance you'll be looking for.

The moment Ronnie Goodall offers it to you, we want you to report back.

Oh, and if you can, try to get a sample to be used as evidence.

Think what you need, lad, is a little drinking. I told you, no more, not ever.

No bother?

Can you more meet where you came from?

Yes.

Unconventional we may be, but effective.

Damn effective.

Still using these old things?

No, the thing is, Danny, what you got to do when you throw a punch, you got to

go...

No, no.

Down the nose and lift the top lip.

All right, lads.

Busy with our preparations, are we?

Yeah,

we manage him very well.

Thinking of doing some work on this new punch we've got for him.

Saw George Pepard do it on the A -team last night.

He didn't even take his cigar out of his mouth.

Very impressive.

Well, just before you start, could I borrow your boy just for five minutes?

Borrow him?

Yeah, just for five minutes.

Tell you what, why don't you have a look round the gym?

Have a chat with my boy.

Borrow the bull.

You never know, we may be able to do a swap.

Here you are, Mr Goodall. Try a taste of your own medicine.

The best fighter I ever had was a bloke called Fraser.

Scotsman he was.

Mad as a march hare.

Get to the point, Mr Goodall.

Totally and utterly mad he was.

you must be Barry the Bull. And you must be bloody mad to work in this place.

What's up with him?

Coffee, bub.

Have you seen the fight game?

Bit of madness helps, you see.

Bit of fire.

Now, in the olden days, you used to have a saying. It used to say, you can't get

bottle in a bottle.

Very profound.

Ah, but it is, you see.

In the olden days, you couldn't manufacture aggression.

Not true.

Neat. Aggressive.

The kind that win championships.

What news do you have, Danny?

You can't.

It's iller girls.

That's what he called us.

Who?

Ronnie Goodall.

Oh, him. Yes, him.

That's what I said, didn't I?

I said, oh, him.

Yeah, I know you said, oh, him. That's what I said. I said, you said, oh, him.

Right.

We agree, then. Yeah.

We agree, for once.

This

magic

potion are yours.

I suppose it's got side effects.

It's got side effects, all right.

Some of my lads reckon that's the best bit.

You see, it's got testosterone in it.

So?

Sure.

It reaches the part other portions don't reach.

You could see some of my lads in the shower these days.

And it makes you horny as a rhino.

And you won't be told to discriminate, neither. You'll be fancying anything

moves. And a few things that don't.

Measure doses.

Take too much of this stuff.

You don't know whether to kill him or kick him.

Good all.

Can't wait to nail the slimy piece of filth. A scum. He deserves to die a slow

and painful death.

Ripped to pieces by buffalo.

Eaten alive by baboons after he's been chased through the jungle.

What do you want now, you tosser?

You take Dr. Ron's magic potion and I guarantee you will shut the title within

year.

Or stick with the losers and wind up with your arse on the canvas and your

brains on the floor.

It's up to you.

Looks like Dr. Ron's got himself a new patient.

Here's what we do, right?

We're just going to have one more taste just to make sure that this is a real

thing. And we'll use the copy to take away the taste. Oh, what a beautiful

Bobby.

Do you know what your trouble is?

What? Shall I tell you what your trouble is?

Go on, tell him. I've been wanting to tell you this for years.

Now I can't stand it any longer.

Go on, get it off your head. It's the noise you make when...

You want

out. Is that right, Barry?

Damn right.

And would you be prepared to give evidence in the court of law about what

Ronnie's done to you? What are you on about?

This is DC Henry.

Time to send in the cavalry.

I am fine officers.

As well as very attractive men.

Well,

thank you, sir.

May I say, sir, that I do think a beard really suits you.

Thank you.

Darling.