Original subtitles

Hey, it's not fun. We're going to go over to Penny's house.

You ready?

Yeah, all right.

Come on. I know you like pie.

It's my favorite little desk time.

Okay, so Jessica and Anthony are coming over today.

We're just going to take a look at it, all right?

Yeah, okay.

It's really good to see you.

Thank you.

I can't believe it's already been a year.

Yeah, well.

I really hope that that bitch Rose doesn't win again.

Oh, the, uh, yeah.

It's unfortunate.

I don't think she's going to this year. I'm very happy with how this has turned

out. I mean, it looks a little burnt, but I'm sure it's delicious.

Maybe a little.

Oh, look, your crust is already breaking.

That's okay. It's because it's nice and crumbly.

Yeah, no, it looks good. Sometimes, like, even when a pie doesn't, like,

good, it tastes good still.

That's nice.

So how's your son been?

Uh, Tyler has been... Is he a

pervert, too? I just, I wish he would get a hobby.

You know, at this age, their hobby is... That is his hobby. They're filthy.

That's what he does. They're so filthy. That's what he does all the time.

Is he using conditioner or lotion?

You know, thus far, he's been a fan of the lotion and the tube sock.

Oh, God.

You know, I keep leaving tissue around, hoping he'll quit.

I mean, his laundry is a biohazard.

I seriously thought that this was a joke.

I never realized how bad it would be to have fun.

Is Anthony?

Yeah, he's been using my conditioner, though.

Oh, no.

Yes. And you don't know how many times I've been in there, like, shampooing my

hair, and then I go to, like, get my conditioner, and it's gone. And he's

the whole bottle.

I, like, do you know how much my water bill has been?

It's been over $500 last month. He's a shower.

Yes. And he thinks he's being private by being in the shower for hours. What are

you doing in the shower for 45 minutes? What are you doing? What are you doing?

I mean, I'm not too terribly surprised that he, like, you know, that his libido

would be anything, like, somewhat similar to mine.

How many times a day would you say that Anthony pleasures himself?

Like, ballpark.

Ballpark? I think that...

It's not even being generous.

Like, this is at least ten times a day if he has the chance.

I'm, like, I'm thinking of putting him into more sports.

He has to be, like, some sort of a healthier outlet for all this energy. I

I don't know. I've tried suggesting, you know, stamp collecting.

You know?

You know he's going to find a way to use the stamp to jerk off at two.

Oh, I don't want to think about that. Oh, instead of flicking the back of you.

Don't let him have idle hands.

And I think that, like, maybe, like, they're group activities, but even,

he's such a little pervert that I'm pretty sure the group activities will

into something, too.

You know, I wasn't ready. It'll be over, right? At some point, you know, they'll

move out, and we'll have our houses back again. I don't have to, like, make

noise when I walk into a room.

I mean, I've dated a bunch, and I'm married. I think all men are just

I mean, I can't really argue. Like, I'm like, that can't be true, but I also

can't think of an example.

I caught Anthony sniffing my panties.

I caught Tyler sniffing my panties.

I don't know where they get it. I thought, I was like, okay.

I mean, is it just curiosity?

I don't know. I mean, he hasn't really had a girlfriend yet, you know?

I wish he would date. I mean, like, I would throw condoms at him.

I feel like he's scared of girls. I do, too. Like, he has to be comfortable in a

situation.

And this is a new situation. You know, he hasn't really done it yet.

I wonder how we could possibly help, like, you know, change her hobby.

I mean, there has to be something. I mean, I don't know. I'll keep trying.

sure something will present itself, right? Just have to stay open.

Yeah. Think about it.

I really hope something changes because I'm really tired of buying conditioner.

I've hidden it from him and he's found it. He finds it? He finds my

I feel like I'm going to have to start putting it under lock and key.

Right. Well, you know what? Why don't we put these, do you want to put these by

the sill? I feel like they'll cool better.

Okay.

Oh, so beautiful and even on the top.

So well, perfectly done.

Wow. Good luck.

Yeah. May the best pie win.

All right.

Handsome boy, you look very relaxed.

No, I can go.

Hey, hey, look at me for just a minute. What?

We're going to be going over to the market real quick.

The pie's in the kitchen.

Hey, please pay attention.

Not snacks, okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Please, fridge, don't have the pie.

Anything in the kitchen but the pies.

Okay? All right? Yeah, fine.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. I won't touch the pies.

What's up, bro? How you been?

Doing pretty good. How about yourself?

No, not too bad.

Almost got off that one check.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

She let me brush up against her arm and stuff like that.

Dude, no way. Did you actually get a couple feels or something?

I mean, I was feeling a little bit, but in about a month, I'll be there.

Yeah.

Bro, speaking of getting with someone, your mom's really fucking hot.

Come on, bro. Don't even say that about my mom. No, dude.

Dude, be honest.

You've looked at your mom like she's a babe.

I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but I don't think she has anything on your mom.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Nah, do you mind? Come on, we could both admit they're pretty hot.

Yeah. Let's just settle this right now. Yeah, yeah, fine.

I can agree with that. It's a little weird, but yeah.

Yeah, man.

I've been beating my dick off like ten times a day.

Ten times a day?

Pussy shit. Do you mind, like, 15 times a day? Really? Shit.

And to your mom.

Oh, come on, dude.

I've been fucking shooting blanks recently.

But I did sniff my mom's panties the other day.

Oh, yeah? Well, so did I. And jack off to it.

Fat loads, am I right?

Hell yeah.

Oh.

Well... Wait, I don't... I thought that was, like, uncommon, but... I've just

been, like, craving some fucking pussy right now.

Fuck you, dude.

I don't have any scissors or anything.

Yeah, me neither. It's rough out here.

Yeah. You smell that?

Yeah. Does it smell like pussy?

Maybe. I don't know.

Check it out.

Where is it?

Oh, shit.

It kind of smells like pussy, doesn't it?

Yeah. I've heard that it kind of feels like pussy, too.

Really? Hey, bro, what are you doing? You're sticking your finger in my mom's

pie.

What? I mean, it's the closest I could get to your mom. Oh, dude.

I mean... It probably tastes like it, too.

I call this corner.

I got this one.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Oh, yeah. This is the real fucking deal, right?

Oh, fuck.

He told me to do it. Why?

It was his idea.

This is the last straw.

I put so much work into that, but he told me not to touch it. I know, but I

don't... This is so tempting.

You can find the 48 with the pie that I tell you not to touch.

Like, couldn't you use a conditioner?

Oh, I heard this felt like the real thing. I was just too tempted to try.

real thing.

How could you do it?

is not showing me how to be a man. Not that it would help at all. I don't know

what to do.

I'm at my wit's end.

I have no idea.

Unfortunately, I think that they take after their fathers.

You know what?

I think it's time that we step in.

I think it's time that we take this situation in hand.

We both agreed that maybe drastic measures would be necessary.

We did.

That pie was important to me. It was important to Jessica.

I apologize, Mother.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Mom.

I just don't feel any better.

What would make you feel better would be having this resolved.

And I think that I have an idea.

Exacting pitch.

We don't play anymore.

Why don't we show them, like, you know, we can be their element. Yeah, that's

right. Yeah, let's be their element.

We had a conversation, and

we think we found a resolution.

We think that you boys need a little education.

not going to have an outlet by finding yourself a girlfriend because they scare

you. I think it's time to take some measures

and make you more comfortable with women.

So, when a man falls in love with a woman

and not a pie, his penis

Please. You need to listen. Do not cover your ears.

This is why you fortified it with the pot. It's okay.

Penis.

You boys have a penis.

And women have vaginas.

Actually, properly called the vulva. The whole thing. The vagina's just the

whole thing.

Exactly. You mean pussies?

No. No. We keep soap and hot sauce in this house, Anthony.

I'll have you know.

So, vaginas or vulvas.

Vulvas. The vagina is just a hole.

Right.

Is a woman's flower.

And the man.

Certainly not a pie.

Certainly not a pie.

Certainly not my probably award -winning pie.

And Jessica's pie.

And when the penis becomes engorged, engorged, engorged,

it's in a prime state to penetrate, penetrate

a woman's orifices, orifices,

orifices, orifices.

One orifice.

We're not going that far. And yet you did not think that my strawberry rhubarb

was melting.

It's all over the floor.

I don't know.

Well,

it entered.

But before you enter, you have to coax the flower because the flower isn't just

something to be rasped and pounded. No.

Oh, what?

Oh.

A woman's flower needs to be coaxed. Why are you calling it a flower?

Do you want me to call it a vulva?

Oh, God, no.

Pussy. We will not call it a pussy. It's a pussy.

No, a pussy is a cat.

I can't talk about this with my own mom. It's just not right. It's disgusting.

Why don't we switch? Let's switch. Yeah.

Perfect. Let's switch.

Okay.

Now.

Anthony, sit up straight when I'm speaking to you.

Okay, so there are different ways that a woman can be excited.

It can be a little bit intricate, but if... Let's start with anatomy.

Okay, so there are... Look, I think I'm a little more hands -on with this type

of stuff.

Cute. Well, um, hands -on, like, you,

like, need to do something before you find how to do it.

So,

with a penis, um, there are different parts,

which I don't actually know if you're familiar with. I know that Jessica can

a little squeamish about these things.

But there's a shaft and a gland.

There's a urethral opening.

And, of course, testicles.

Right? And the point of testicles is here.

Cheers. It is.

Semen. Semen also is.

Ejaculate is sperm, which can

be rudely termed jizz or other things that I'm sure you will pick up over

time.

And when it is emitted, it's

pleasurable.

You know that, right?

Mm -hmm. It's pleasurable, and speaking as a woman, it can be pleasurable

for me as well, especially when the ejaculate is

warm. Oh. Or, well,

it can be a little icky.

And, you know, it's a beautiful act.

Look, I don't want to hear all that. I just want to fuck pussy.

I don't wish, Anthony.

Oh, I'm this close to cleaning out that little mouth of yours.

Anyway, I'm sure that you do, and be that as it may,

I think that that attitude has gotten you to a very interesting place.

Have you, as you put it, fucked pussy? a lot of pussy?

I'm not hearing a no.

What about titties?

Brett?

Sure, whatever.

Well, what about them? Did you have any specific questions?

Well, could I motorboat them?

Okay, you know what, young man? You are going to learn about pleasure and

seduction and everything else like that. Do you understand?

Yes? Yes.

Yes, ma 'am? Yes, Miss Barber. Yes, Miss Barber. I like that, too.

I know you're about the same age as Anthony, and I hear you're having the

issues.

Yeah, I guess.

You do know that your mom is very well aware of using her hand cream for...

Pleasure. Yeah, but you guys don't get it. Like, we need to do that.

Yes. It would be respectful for you to not use your hands like that.

So I can't use her lotion, her panties, or anything?

Yeah, about the panties.

That's a little peculiar because she's your mom.

Is that because you're comfortable with her more than other girls your age?

I don't know. I just thought it was hot.

Okay. Okay, yes. Your mom is a very beautiful woman.

Maybe not the most age -appropriate, but I can understand the attraction.

Age is just a number.

Age?

Yeah, yeah, it is.

And I can certainly understand not being attracted to,

well, mature women.

Okay.

There we go.

Okay.

In your right hand.

Damn, bro, I told your mom I'm a great kid.

What are you doing?

What? I'm teaching him. You know, teaching him to learn. And I teach

the way at Big Five.

Oh, yeah?

All right.

Well, I suppose class is in session, then.

Oh, mom, I don't... Dude, no way. What are you doing?

I don't want to see that.

Can we go do this one more time?

Ask and answer.

No.

Come on, come on. Focus.

Focus. You need to focus.

Okay.

Let's sit back.

Okay, can you un -do my bra, maybe?

Like, find the back of it and you just kind of one -handed.

Or you can do two hands if you want. But there's like a pinching slip.

Crazy. But you get there.

All right.

Can you tell me where's my area?

Oh, yeah. That's it, roughly.

Maybe more to the right.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, Anthony.

Oh, God. Well.

Why didn't I show you when the erection started?

Really? I don't know.

I can't remember.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Okay, you know what?

Now,

what she's doing, it's called... It's called...

Yeah,

or fellatio.

Quiet down over there, Mom. I can hear you. It's gross.

Dude, you're the best mom ever.

I can hear you over there, too.

I'm not sure if we should be doing this.

Yeah, I mean,

this is a lot better than doing that with pie.

Oh, my God, I'm going to come soon.

No, not yet.

It looks like I'm doing a very good job.

Are you even trying anything? Yeah, yeah. I'm getting there.

Sorry, I've already, like, whacked it 15 times today.

That's impressive.

Even with his mother around.

It is very impressive.

He must really like beautiful breasts.

Yeah.

I never thought I'd be doing this in front of my own mom.

I never thought I'd be doing this in front of my own mom.

Focus over here, okay?

You're doing so much today.

Such good care of you.

Tyler?

What? Are you staring at my derriere?

Um, no.

He does like your panties.

Well, thank you.

Yeah, I'm going to learn.

I'm going to get to know a woman's body.

Oh, my God. What are you doing? Get naked.

Oh, you're sucking a dick, too?

Let's see.

Mom, really?

You're in front of me?

Do you want to clean your panties?

Next year, am I going to find these under your bed again?

I don't know.

Not as long as most Ryan's here.

That's really, I bet you're really pretty under there.

You know.

I had an idea.

Yeah.

I mean, that's enough, right? You know what that feels like. Yeah.

You know what your mouth feels like?

Uh, mom?

Yeah, dear?

Can you, like, not do that?

Oh, come over here.

No.

Well, I want to wear it. I want to wear it too.

Mom,

can you keep it down over there? I can hear you.

Who was it?

Oh, that's good.

We'll be right back.

You did a very good job.

You must have a very good teacher.

That's perfect, Anthony. You're really paying attention.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Did you look at your mom?

No.

Yeah, that's weird.

Oh my God.

Maybe we could change our positions?

Oh yeah?

You can play Becky.

It's unexpected. There's something about the way you look to me.

Oh, gross.

Obviously.

You're beautiful.

Oops,

sorry. I remember I'm kicking.

Oh.

getting all the way in there.

Oh, such beauty.

That's right.

That's a good boy.

You're not the only one that likes pussy.

I didn't think you guys would be in on this.

I have to say I love her because she makes great pie.

No.

Sure looks like it.

You going to cut down there, Mom?

You are. Look at those bulbs. They're all the way up to her vulva.

That's really very impressive.

I don't know if we're doing grades, but I think you get an A.

Let's use the pie to practice.

Dude,

that's your mom.

Yeah, but Mom said that she's really hard for her.

You guys don't even seem to care.

Your dick is hanging right over your mother's head.

That's different, though. Why don't you put your dick in her mouth?

What? Put your dick in her mouth.

What?

What's going on up there?

Oh, my gosh.

That is

a good point.

Yeah. Yeah?

Oh, my God. I don't like it better.

Maybe this is kind of a secret.

Maybe we don't talk about this. I won't say anything.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God.

Your dad will be so upset.

He doesn't need to know. It's just, it's just.

You can feel that right there, that is.

That is mommy's deep butt. Oh, my goodness.

Am I having it? You're touching it.

What if I bring all these?

Oh, God.

Are you being clever?

Are you trying to get clever with Mommy? Are you being smart now?

No, I'm sorry, Mom.

I think that if you end up with all these, you're going to have to give me a

very, very special apology.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'll see you about that again.

There you go.

That feels really good. Oh, my God.

You don't think I'm giving you a complex, do you?

No, Mom. I think everything's fine between us.

Just add a little spike to our home life.

Oh, my God.

You're switching.

Yeah, we can switch too. Yeah, we can switch too.

Yeah, it's going to make things competitive.

Oh, Jessica, you are my best friend.

Oh,

that's why we always have a pot to cook up.

Yeah. You enjoying that, huh?

Oh, I feel good. You like your son's pot?

Oh, I do.

Oh. I do like it. God, you're going to make me come like that.

Oh, God. Oh.

Oh.

God, everything is so very hard.

He's so proud.

Is it your favorite, Mom?

Yes. Yes, it is my favorite.

Oh, my God.

Is it my favorite, too?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Let's just see how much you can make. I bet you make a lot.

I'd like to just figure it out. I bet you do.

Maybe more so than certain blondes who shall remain nameless.

You want to show Mommy how much you like it?

Yeah.

You know, Jessica.

Yeah. I feel like Tyler's a little bit gifted.

And maybe he could make, like, a lot of cum.

You know what I mean? I suppose that we won't know until it actually happens.

Then we can find out.

You want to show Mommy what a little winner you are?

You want to show me?

Show me how much you can do and show me how much you really, really love me.

Yes, ma 'am.

Yes, ma 'am.

I think that I can get my own. Thank you very much.

I like sharing.

I like sharing.

That's the biggest, prettiest cough mommy's ever seen, huh?

You too.

You too. Nice big tight balls.

Look.

So pretty.

Your cough is so pretty, sweetheart.

Thank you so much.

It's beautiful.

It's very special.

Did you not get enough?

Did you need some more?

Yeah?

Dirty girl.

You're so competitive.

I think you won this one, though.

You're covered.

I know. No, I have two full necklaces.

Thank you.