All language subtitles for Letterkenny.S11E06.Degens.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

You were having a dart with
your pals the other day...

Tanis is off
the darts, eh?

- Is she really?
- How'd she manage that?

Said she was reading an
articles in Canadian Livings,

or... or maybe it was
Chatelaines.

Could have just as
easily been Chatelaine.

- Or Flare.
- Oh, maybe it was Flares.

Could have just as
easily been.

Either way, she
was reads-ing an article

that posed the questions,
"Whens was the last times

youse reallys
enjoyeds a darts?"

Well, I gotta say that I'm
enjoying this dart quite a bit

- right here.
- This is a great dart.

Yeah. I was just thinking there
ain't nothing wrong

with the darts
I'm havings right nows.

Like, I know you're
not supposed to like them.

- Who's "you"?
- And they tell you

- that they're bad for you.
- Who's "they"?

But it's just like...

quit telling me what
I shouldn't like.

I think youse just
became theys.

So don't go telling
me what I shouldn't like.

Who you fucking talking
to, bud?

I was just thinkings,
I can'ts--

I can'ts remembers a
darts I didn'ts enjoys.

Well, it's like, if you're
not going to enjoy the dart,

then just don't
have the dart.

Well, yeah. That's the power
that you have over the darts.

They try to tell you that that's
the power

the darts have over you.

Fuck. They's got
a big mouth.

They's starting to
piss me off!

Well, just because
I think that, you know,

it's you running to
the store all the time

and spending your hard-earned
money on the darts,

rather than
the other way around.

Kind of
funny, though,

the thought of darts going
to the store for you.

They don't
think so, eh?

What would you says is
the darts yous most enjoyeds?

Oh.

We've had a lot of great
darts over the years.

I've always enjoyed
that first dart

- when you step off an airplane.
- That's a great dart.

No better pair than
a coffee and a dart.

Fucking not even
a piss and a fart.

But if I have to say the
dart that I enjoyed the most--

- Evers?
- Yeah.

If I have to say the dart
that I enjoyed the most ever,

it would be the first
dart I ever had.

Geez, I don't
remember that dart

being such a good
darts for mes.

Oh, I coughed
so God damn bad.

Well, it was the first
time I'd ever had sex.

DAN, WAYNE:
Oh.

- If you lay it out like that.
- Changed my fucking mind.

- That'd be a damned good dart.
- Context. Yeah.

Wee bit cliché, though, lighting
up a darts after sex, though,

- don't you thinks?
- Well, I had heard

that you're supposed to
lay with them for a little while

before you go get cleaned up,
so I figured I'd have a dart.

Better not be darting in bed if
I'm doing up the linens.

It's just that I'd
seen people in movies smoke

so many times after sex
that I thought

that's what you
were 'exposed' to do.

Oh, no.

Same thing goes with the sex
beforehand.

I just did what I'd seen so many
times in porno movies,

and it turns out that is not
what you're exposed to do.

- No.
- I thinks the best darts

I ever had was the series of
darts I'd smokes after school,

playing cards with
my Aunt Ethels.

But mind you, Ethels
would call darts fags,

and I expose there's
a certain amount of charm

to that language coming
outs of the right mouths.

Oh, context. Yeah.

What about you, Wayne?

You okays,
good buddies?

Just like...

getting a wee bit
emotional here

with all this talk
of great darts.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Been a lot of great fucking
darts over the years.

...think about
them a lot, so...

Only can really think
about them so much, though.

You think about who's
been there for you.

Yeah. Right there in
the breast pocket there.

Fucking great darts.

Do you want to know what? You
kinda enjoy them all equally,

and if you didn't,
you wouldn't smoke them.

So hold your judgement,
because at the end of the day,

I could put down
darts a lot faster

than you could put down
the fucking internet.

How's Jivin' doing?

You're late, bud!

You're late, bud.

You're late, bud!

You're late, bud.

Bale of hay
could kill a man!

It's fucking barley!

He'll figure it out.

Don't cuts him too much slacks,
good buddies.

Bend enough and
you'll break.

I'd have never hired
him in the first place.

When a friend asks for
help, you help him.

- No friend of mine.
- Oh, look at that.

Guy who got exiled
for two years

after getting written up in
the paper for mailbox stealing

doesn't believe
in second chances.

Hey, Katy? Katy?

What are those?

What, these?

See you got some new
high-tops there.

These don't need an
introduction.

What are you trying
to fucking...

you trying to fucking
start a punk band or--

- Skas band?
- Skinhead?

Sticks and stones, boys.
Docs are timeless fashion,

and timeless fashion
never goes out of style.

Okay. So, what
are you, a fucking...

fucking dairy-free
ice cream eater or--

- Going to smoke a pipe next?
- Oi! Oi! Oi!

Style tips from Mark's Work
fucking Warehouse. I love it.

Alright, but does you
really wants to be... that guy?

Youse guys don't know what
the fuck you're talking about.

What's wrong with being
known for something?

Oh, nothings,
nothings...

if'n it's a good thing.

Yeah, there was a while there
that I was thinking

about rocking a chain wallet,
but didn't want to be that guy.

Same with me when
I had my nipples ring.

- I was that guy.
- How'd you get that out?

- You was there.
- Was I really?

I mean, it's like the time I
wanted to get cat-eye glasses,

but I didn't want
to be that guy.

Same with bangs.

Oh, my God.

Should I get bangs?

Yes. You should get bangs.

It's not
the right time.

- Should I get bangs?
- Dudes don't get bangs.

- Wayne has bangs.
- Docs are different, though.

Docs are iconic.

- You doing Kegels over there?
- What's that?

Why are you
squinting so much?

Future's bright.

I've been noticing you doing
that a lot more recently.

I've noticed you doing it a wee
bits more than usuals, toos,

- good buddies.
- No. I think you're squinting

just the perfect
amount there, good buddy.

You're having trouble
seeing, aren't you?

Got a bright future.

When was the last time you went
to the optom-al-myth?

Oh, that'd be our class trip
to Dr. McDavid's.

- As in Grade 2?
- Grade 1.

- Grade 1!
- What's the problem, Katy?

- I'm making you an appointment.
- Don't you got

a fucking Warped Tour
to get to or something?

Why don't you go play fucking
rockabilly, fucking steampunk?

- Fucking dance of the skanks.
- Fucking going straight edge.

Get outta here,
you fucking stage diver!

Say, where's
Dr. McDavid?

Dr. McDavid my grandpa,
or Dr. McDavid my dad?

- The doctors McDavid.
- Golf course. Or Legion.

Yeah, 'cause I was just thinking
you're kind of young

- to be a doctor, eh?
- I think when you get

to a certain age,
everyone seems young.

Good enough.

So, do you want the good news
first or the bad news?

- Bad.
- You're dying.

- I'll get my affairs in order.
- There's no bad news.

Some people with your
vision get glasses,

and some people don't.

Well, then I'll save a buck.

What prompted you to
get your eyes checked?

I'm told I
squint too much.

- You got a bright future.
- Thank you for your help.

But if
the sun's bothering you--

Well, the sun
doesn't bother me.

I could apply
your prescription

to a very stylish
pair of sunglasses.

Hmm...

You playing
shortstop or second?

- Eh?
- Left field?

- Mind your beeswax.
- A little brisk out

for beach volleyballs theres,
good buddies.

Little warm for
'80s night on the slopes.

I could shake my head
in these all day.

- They won't come off.
- Prove it.

You look like you're about
to rip a Tour De France.

Look like Lance Armstrong if
he did even more steroids.

You look like the guy who's
gonna say something racist

into camera at a
live-on-location news broadcast.

I thought Jivin' Pete was
exposed to bes heres.

- What?
- Now, I'll shake my head.

- He's fucking up.
- How late is he this times?

- Doesn't matter.
- Late is late.

Yeah. If you're not 10 minutes
early, you're late.

He smells like a brewery
all morning

and a dispensary
all afternoon.

Smells like he pissed on a
campfire and stood in the smoke.

Look who's talking.

Tried to show me a nude of
a gal he had on his phone,

and I said, "I, sirs,
ams a feminist."

- Don't be that guy.
- Yeah.

Definitely don't
be that guy.

Oh... Do you want
to know what?

- I feel bad for him.
- Who the fuck are you?

Like, I'm not getting soft or
anything. Just, like--

You're a fanny pack
full of cotton balls.

It's like, it's likely not
easy getting yourself sorted

after you been off smoking meth
for half a fucking decade.

You're a
chocolate marshmallow Santa.

- Here he is, doing it.
- You're baby hair, bud.

Just can't get out
of his own way.

You know what?
I think those sunglasses

are a wee bit tight on your
brain, big brother.

But I ams
a feminists.

Good, Dan.
Girls love that.

Well, I was told
they don't.

Want to know what? Fuck it.

I got to do something, because
he's fucking useless.

- He is risen.
- Yeah.

He's fucking
up lots, good buddy.

Yeah. Shared those
nude pictures of Gails.

- Abandoned his dog.
- Now, he's late

every fucking day, and then
you give him a second chance.

- And what does he do?
- Smells like a brewery

all morning and a
dispensary all afternoon.

- Time to cut him loose.
- I'll do something like that.

- There he is.
- Just, uh...

don't like to kick people
when they're down.

But... I ams a feminists.

Never want to get your dick
sucked again, then, eh, bud?

"I Speak Feminist."

Yo. This guy
likes to party.

You're not that
guy, are you?

I will no longers bes brow-
beatens because of my beliefs.

I'm a feminist, sirs,
and prouds ofs it.

You know you can be one without
screaming it

in everybody's face,
though, right?

Those who shout the loudest
have the most to hide.

- Same thing goes for gals, too.
- Huh?

There's no rights or wrongs
ways to bes a feminists.

You mansplaining, bud?

Never.

Hey, boys.

- There's womens presents.
- Okay, fine. Hey, guys.

- That's not better.
- Fuck off.

- So, it's my birthday week--
- Sorry. What?

It's my
birthday week,

and I want to celebrate
it with everyone I care about.

So, I was wondering if you all
would meet me here tonight

to celebrate the best
birthday week ever.

- You're that guy?
- What guy?

The guy who makes way too big
a deal out of his own birthday.

Only 13-year-old
girls can use

the expression "birthday
week," you Sally.

- I got this, buddy.
- Thanks, bud.

Look. It's just been
a really--

It's just been a really tough
week for everyone,

with the degens
fucking with us again--

Degens are fucking
with youse, too?

Tibadoo got a job
driving the Zamboni,

but he didn't
show up for work,

and we had to play our beer
league game in an inch of snow.

- Fuck youse, Tibadoos.
- And I just--

I just think a
birthday week party

is what we all need
right now.

- Huh?
- And you're that guy?

Yes?

The guy who knows what we
all need right now?

What next? Anything that
that brings you

mild satisfaction
is everything?

And anyone doing anything
remotely relatable

is "all of us"?

Gail, the new hand soap you got
in the bathroom

gives me life.

Oh, my God, Katy.
That video you posted

of Gus sleeping beside
his bowl is such a mood.

You're not a tabloid
magazine's Twitter account.

Stop talking
like that.

Well, none of this
changes the fact

that I still want to make,
uh, my birthday week--

Don't say "birthday week"!

I wasn't going to!

Birthday.

But I do really want to
make a week out of it, so...

We'll come to your
birthday party.

- Thank you.
- You're early.

If you're not 10 minutes
early, you're late.

Fucking A, ma fille.

Anik, it's my birthday
week, so I was--

- Don't be that guy.
- Okay.

- Hi, Anik.
- Bonjour, Daryl.

Did youse know that those little
top ponies

are still a thing
with dudes in Quebec?

Like a-- like a top knot?

Kind of,
but gnarlier.

Like a little
nubbin up there.

Hmm. You don't say.

Nothing wrong with a
guy shows-ing his feminine side,

- sirs, especially--
- No.

- No. Okay.
- I was watching

some hockey fights from
the Quebec senior league,

and I picked out two dozen
of those little nubbins

in the crowd.

Nubbin.

Oh.

Now, there's a way
things run around here,

and your work ethic
is slowing up production.

Okay.

I can see you're trying to turn
over a new leaf and all that,

and I'm trying
to help you,

but you're not reliable.

Okay.

Feels to me like there
might be a problem.

I wonder if it
mightn't be a bad idea

for you to take some time
and get that sorted.

You firing me?

Did I say I was
firing you?

Okay.

Jivin's saying some
shit about you.

And we know it's not true,

but we want you to know
it's being said.

He came to
us for some contraband

an hour or so ago,
and he was indignant,

irked, ireful,
ill-tempered!

He said you
called us fags.

We know you wouldn't
say that, so...

We just wanted you to
know it was being said.

Wayne.

How are you, now?

- Good, and you?
- Not so bad.

Wayne, Jivin' come to the house
looking for a hot tub.

Now, he's
an old pal, so,

you know, I entertained
the idea,

but then he had the audacity,
the little rat bastard,

to say that when he
was here working with youse,

that youse guys were saying
you'd like to fuck my old lady,

Mrs. McMurray!

Now, I know
you wouldn't say it.

I'm just letting you know,
it's being said.

We know you
wouldn't say it.

But, like... if you did...

Jivin' was talking shit about
you in the MoDean's parking lot.

Dan went to punched him.
He ducked out.

Dary went to chase him,
but he couldn't catch him.

Well, that's
the difference

between a friend
and a pal.

A pal will listen to someone
talk shit about you.

A friend won't hear
a second of it.

Degens are back.

Degens ain't
welcomes.

How we going
to fuck this pig?

Hi.

Daryl!

What?

You're that guy?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- I tried to tell him.
- Nothing wrongs

with showings your
feminine sides, Darys.

Take your hair down,
you fucking woman.

You going to rip
some Ultimate later?

- You mean Ultimate Frisbee?
- Guess not.

If you were, you would know they
just call it Ultimate.

You going for glamour
shots later or something?

Well, okay. You said
dudes from Quebec

have tiny little top knots up
there, so I thought maybe--

Daryl.

Mm. Hello, Anik.

Trying something new?

This? Oh.
You noticed.

You look like
all my cousints.

- That was hot.
- That was...

It's good to be known for
something, Daryl.

And there is nothing wrong
with being... that guy.

For instance,
I wear a bowler hat.

I'm that guy.

Yeah, and I wear a bandana.
I'm that guy.

Thank you, skids.

Just don't be...

That guy!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hey, Gails, what
guys are youse?

- In a town this size?
- Yeah.

- The black guy.
- The great David Beckham

could barely pull
that off, you fool.

Bender like
Beckham.

Hilarious coming from
A Clockwork Orange.

- What?
- They're right.

You're no
Jon Snow, bud.

Don't you have a Mighty Mighty
Bosstones show to get to?

I'm more of
a Rancid gal.

What's with
the hat, Dan?

- I, sirs, am--
- Just kidding.

- I don't give a fuck.
- Why would you ask him, then?

That was so rude!

What happens
now, Wayne?

You start walking in
this direction,

or you start running
in the other one.

Yeah? You going
to chase me?

No. You've done
what you've done.

And if you want
to humiliate yourself

right here in front
of all your pals

by not taking responsibility
for it when the time's come...

well, that's
enough for me.

And what if we just
beat the shit out of you

right here
and right now?

I'm not leaving here without
some sort of resolution.

I came to work
every single day,

and I poured my heart
and soul into that job.

And you tell me I'm
slowing up production

to try to fire me?

I never said
I was firing you.

I've been chore-ing
20 years!

Twenty years, and no
one's ever told me

I was slowing
up production in my life!

So maybe you ought to take a
good, hard look in the mirror,

do some thinking about which
one of us is the real problem,

because the only person with
an issue here... is you.

Youse have upset a lot
of people in town.

Yeah? Well, it's a good
thing I'm from upcountry.

But in spite of
all that--

Despite.

- Despite what?
- Never mind.

In spite of
all that,

I'm going to give you
a little pass,

prove to you I'm not
the man you think I am!

So, go.
Go, go, go.

Gather up some of
your pals,

and when youse are ready
to sort this out...

we'll be
right here waiting.

♪ What comes of...

♪ Too much waiting... ♪

♪ ...not working ♪

♪ Your way is to... ♪

♪ A holiday ♪

♪ The holidays ♪

♪ I can take ♪

♪ Same ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ As me ♪

♪ Please come here ♪

♪ Words keep on wanting ♪

♪ The points to ♪

♪ The message ♪

♪ No more messages ♪

♪ I can take ♪

♪ Fella ♪

♪ Today is what... ♪

♪ Is done ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Your holiday ♪

♪ No more holidays ♪

♪ I can take ♪

♪ Fella ♪