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1
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:12,636
You were having
a Puppers with your pals
the other day...
2
00:00:12,636 --> 00:00:15,389
Too much Instagrams'll make
your eyes go square, Dary.
3
00:00:15,389 --> 00:00:17,599
- I'm workin' here.
- Oh, Dary's like a blister.
4
00:00:17,725 --> 00:00:19,393
He only shows up
when the work's all done.
5
00:00:19,393 --> 00:00:21,353
It's not Instagram.
I'm flippin' through Twitter.
6
00:00:21,353 --> 00:00:23,981
Well, less doin' tweets,
more pullin' teats, bud.
7
00:00:24,606 --> 00:00:27,276
Speaking of teats,
you guys heard about
8
00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:28,987
this Twitter account
called Gay Hooters?
9
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,032
Gay Hooters?
10
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:34,200
Gay Hooters.
11
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,536
But-- Gay Hooters?
12
00:00:37,536 --> 00:00:39,748
Well, that's what I said.
I said, Gay Hooters.
13
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,374
Is that right?
14
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,167
Guess I'm just
sorta wonderin'
15
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:44,544
what Gay Hooters
would be all about?
16
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,172
Well, if I was to make
an educated guesstimation,
17
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:50,258
I'd have to say it's like
the controversial yet famous
18
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,176
American restaurant
franchise Hooters,
19
00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:53,553
except for gay guys.
20
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,346
So, it's like a Hooters,
21
00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:58,892
but marketed
to gay men aged 18-35?
22
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,101
Boy howdies!
23
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,770
I guess I just got
a few more questions though.
24
00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:03,687
Well, you're handy
as a shirt pocket, bud.
25
00:01:03,687 --> 00:01:07,566
Well, all I'm wondering
is, like...
26
00:01:07,566 --> 00:01:10,277
what do a group of gay men
have to enjoy about Hooters?
27
00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:11,988
We's talkin' the restaurants
or the body parts?
28
00:01:12,113 --> 00:01:13,405
- Here we go now.
- Well, no.
29
00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:14,991
I'm just thinkin' it
sounds a little bit queer--
30
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,618
Easy, tiger!
31
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,244
that you would have to sell
the gay community on Hooters?
32
00:01:19,244 --> 00:01:21,330
Sell? Sold.
33
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,875
- Huh?
- Gay dudes love tits.
34
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,919
- Is that right?
- Most of us, yeah.
35
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,086
- Well, to be fairs--
- To be fair--
36
00:01:28,086 --> 00:01:29,464
- To be fair--
- To be fair--
37
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,923
♪ To be fair, yeah ♪
38
00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:32,842
To be fair...
39
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,343
it's hard to imagine
anyone not likin' 'em,
40
00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:37,095
no matter which ways you
points your sexuals compass.
41
00:01:37,095 --> 00:01:39,390
So, you guys love tits
as much as you love dinks?
42
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,476
Fuck, no!
We're straight guy gay.
43
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,852
Strictly guy gay,
for clarificaysh.
44
00:01:43,852 --> 00:01:45,312
Gettin' good and gay
in guy gash.
45
00:01:45,312 --> 00:01:47,774
- Smashin' silly ass.
- Gettin' kinky with
the dinky.
46
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,066
Gettin' stinky
with the dinky.
47
00:01:49,066 --> 00:01:50,527
In sync. With dink.
48
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,320
- Is that right?
- But you also love tits.
49
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,571
What's not to love?
50
00:01:54,571 --> 00:01:56,616
Yeah, lots of gay dudes
secretly love tits.
51
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,910
Big, bouncy, fun-lovin',
party time tits.
52
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:03,540
Big ol' buoyant, jubly,
sloppy egg yolk knocks.
53
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,499
Bounce those snake-eyed
humpty dumplings over here,
54
00:02:05,499 --> 00:02:06,583
honey, let's have
a good one.
55
00:02:06,583 --> 00:02:08,419
Talkin' Bobbsey Twin
baby thumpers
56
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,838
rubber baby buggy bumpers.
57
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,172
Is that right?
58
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:13,633
I think
I have an idea.
59
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:16,052
Well, you might as well gets
'em all outs on the table.
60
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,302
What if-- okay,
61
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:20,515
what if the food
was also gay?
62
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,475
Oh, I got Professor Tricia
on speed dial
63
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,017
ready for this
hot takes.
64
00:02:24,017 --> 00:02:25,645
No, no,
hear him out.
65
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,439
Okay, so, the chickens that
you get the chicken
wings from,
66
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,315
what if they were also
gay chickens?
67
00:02:30,315 --> 00:02:31,609
A boy chicken's
called a cock.
68
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,070
So, what you're suggesting
is that Gay Hooters
69
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,363
is a place for mens
to go eat gay cocks.
70
00:02:36,363 --> 00:02:37,782
In.
71
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,742
Free-range chickens
is hard enough to breeds.
72
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:41,994
Yeah, so it would be
a Hooters restaurant
73
00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:46,123
marketed to gay men aged
18-35 where they could go
74
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:47,499
and enjoy some fried food,
75
00:02:47,499 --> 00:02:49,627
but also some eye-level
eye candy.
76
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:51,296
I'd rather have
a dog's eye view.
77
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,463
Dog's eye
view of a dink.
78
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,131
- Dink's eye view.
- Dink in the eye.
79
00:02:54,131 --> 00:02:55,884
In sync with dink.
80
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,303
Oh, is that right?
81
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,939
Did yous hear
Sir Bill's closed?
82
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,901
Oh, bother.
Well, there's nothin' worse
83
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,278
than a mom and pop shop
goin' under in a small town.
84
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,361
Why'd they bust?
85
00:03:16,361 --> 00:03:17,696
Sir Bill's was
the best breakfast--
86
00:03:17,696 --> 00:03:19,365
- Attaboy.
- in Letterkenny,
87
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,201
until MoDean's started
serving brunch.
88
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,701
Now nobody goes
to Sir Bill's.
89
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,828
I heard some talk that they was
late payin' their merchants.
90
00:03:24,828 --> 00:03:27,081
Well, late payment's the first
sign you're goin' tits up.
91
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,542
See, I always thought
that MoDean's and Sir Bill's
should combine.
92
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:33,087
Breakfast spot by day,
bang-up spot by night.
93
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,296
Woulda, shoulda, coulda.
94
00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:35,547
If "ifs" and "buts"
were candies and nuts.
95
00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:38,218
Not much room for competition
in a small town.
96
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,219
You need
customer loyalty.
97
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,719
Loyalty, eh?
98
00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:43,056
I said it wrong,
didn't I?
99
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,390
Loyalty is two things:
100
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,850
number A, a crucial practice
in any relationship
101
00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:48,810
and number B,
a fuckin' dying art.
102
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,897
Well, Gail's gonna need
our loyalty because I heard
103
00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,149
there is one of those big city
chain restaurants moving in.
104
00:03:54,149 --> 00:03:56,486
Oh! Harvey's?
105
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,653
No.
106
00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:59,446
- Tacso Bells?
- Nope.
107
00:03:59,446 --> 00:04:01,448
- St. Hubert?
- Nope.
108
00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:02,950
It's one of those places
that's always on
109
00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:04,993
about their casual fine dining.
110
00:04:04,993 --> 00:04:06,079
Ew.
111
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,705
It's one of those places
that focuses
112
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:10,582
on upscale comfort food.
113
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:12,125
Ew.
114
00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:14,253
One of those places
that's always on
about their gastro fare.
115
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:15,255
Ew!
116
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,132
Although, there are, um,
117
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:22,094
there are, um, perks
to those sorts of places?
118
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:26,640
Some might say...
119
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,892
...the perkiest!
120
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,353
It's wheres you go
if you like some perkies!
121
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,729
Yous are degens.
122
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:33,772
- Breastaurants.
- Yoo!
123
00:04:33,772 --> 00:04:36,442
One of those places where
you're not payin' for the G&T,
124
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,777
you're paying
for the T&A.
125
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,404
Short skirts, full bras,
can't lose.
126
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,281
- That's their motto!
- Grow up.
127
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,782
With all due respect,
Miss Katy,
128
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,741
Professor Tricia says
it's perfectly ethical
129
00:04:44,741 --> 00:04:46,661
for womens to be
as sexual as they want,
130
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:49,289
including wearing clothes
what makes them feel powerful.
131
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,664
It's not the women
who work there
132
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,041
that I have
a problem with.
133
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,793
They can get theirs,
and I am here for it.
134
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,171
It's the leering men
that really chap my ass.
135
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:58,171
The male gaze.
136
00:04:58,171 --> 00:05:00,799
Male gays?
You mean like Dax and Ron?
137
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:02,801
Fuck, you are
on fuckin' fire, eh?
138
00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:04,469
I've got more time
for clogged toilets.
139
00:05:04,469 --> 00:05:07,015
- Where you goin'?
- To be a loyal customer.
140
00:05:08,056 --> 00:05:09,433
Yous wanna go be
loyal customers?
141
00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:10,935
I'ds be a loyal customer.
142
00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,104
I'm surprised we're not being
loyal customers right now.
143
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,315
To MoDean's!
144
00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:20,736
Stewart!
145
00:05:20,736 --> 00:05:23,197
Have you heard this new
Neapolitan funk compilation?
146
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,039
You phonographic
Philistine!
147
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:36,585
Neapolitan funk
was yesteryear's genre.
148
00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:38,671
You know very well
that I am fully immersed
149
00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,339
in the Nigerian
Neurofolk movement.
150
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,424
But I thought that you said
Neapolitan funk was
151
00:05:42,424 --> 00:05:44,635
the sound of the revolution
because it blended in
152
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,346
perfectly with your
Baile funk collection?
153
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,765
You're thinking Baggy Trance
and Biafra Psychobilly, Roald!
154
00:05:49,765 --> 00:05:52,017
Is Baggy Trance the one
that's heavily influenced
155
00:05:52,017 --> 00:05:54,270
by mid-century word jazz--
156
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,606
and the Hungarian
underground top 40?
157
00:05:59,024 --> 00:06:01,277
I'm gonna pretend
you didn't even say that.
158
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:04,822
You can't be mad at me for
not being up on your weapons
as of late.
159
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,325
I mean, you haven't DJ'd a gig
in what feels like years.
160
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,793
I am fully aware
of my dry spell, Roald.
161
00:06:18,001 --> 00:06:22,548
However, I plan to be the pole
holding up the circus tent
162
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,842
at Letterkenny's
latest venue...
163
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,219
the breastaurant.
164
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,428
I love tits.
165
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,013
Just imagine all
the ground-breaking styles
166
00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:31,933
I can literally bring
to the tables
167
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,685
of the masticating masses
beyond the standard,
168
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,436
bland restaurantica.
169
00:06:36,436 --> 00:06:40,774
You are ten times the fyah
selectah of any restaurant DJ.
170
00:06:40,774 --> 00:06:43,361
I mean, half of them think
it's still 2005
171
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,113
and play mashups.
172
00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:50,159
Mashups are a cardinal sin
in the DJ realm.
173
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,912
I have no time for MP3s
titled Fleetwood Macklemore.
174
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,832
Or the Rolling
Stone Roses.
175
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,541
Meredith Brooks
N Dunn.
176
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,209
Barry White Zombie.
177
00:06:59,209 --> 00:07:00,253
James Taylor Swift.
178
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,087
KC and the Sunshine
Band of Horses.
179
00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:03,214
Olivia Newton
John Mayer.
180
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,091
Rage Against
the Miami Sound Machine.
181
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,135
Rage Against Florence
and the Machine.
182
00:07:08,135 --> 00:07:09,637
Fugazi Osbourne.
183
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,431
Shadowy Men on a
Shadowy Phantom Planet.
184
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,765
I Mother Earth,
Wind & Fire.
185
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,224
30 Seconds
to Bruno Mars!
186
00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:16,394
Clap Your Hands
Say Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
187
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,645
Busta Leann Rimes.
188
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,770
Faith Hill
No More.
189
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,356
George Michael Bublé.
190
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:21,649
Seven Mary 311.
191
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,150
The Pointer
Sisters of Mercy.
192
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,943
Slick Rick Ross.
193
00:07:24,943 --> 00:07:27,154
Simply Red Hot
Chili Peppers.
194
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:30,241
- To the breastaurant!
- I love tits!
195
00:07:31,825 --> 00:07:33,286
It's a decent
sando, buddy.
196
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,704
Convo ends
at decent, bro.
197
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,289
Yeah, well, beats
doing Squat Speedmans.
198
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,957
Anything's better
than Squat Weilands.
199
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,541
- Squatty Bowmans.
- Harry Squatter.
200
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:40,959
Squat Stevens.
201
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,544
You hear about that
breastaurant opening, buddy?
202
00:07:42,544 --> 00:07:44,796
Gonna be some top-line snipes
working there, buddy.
203
00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,466
Top six for sure, buddy.
204
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,260
You know what I'm secretly
even more excited for
though, buddy?
205
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,469
What's that, bro?
206
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,262
- Big city sandos!
- Top cheddar?
207
00:07:52,262 --> 00:07:53,556
Top Swiss!
208
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,890
You know what they call
arugula in England, buddy?
209
00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:55,974
Rocket!
210
00:07:55,974 --> 00:07:57,392
Not you,
but you are a rocket.
211
00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:58,810
NASA certified.
212
00:07:58,810 --> 00:08:00,188
What about that
big city bread?
213
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,147
Oh, gotta celebrate
the biscuit, buddy.
214
00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:03,858
Gotta worship
the focaccia!
215
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,984
A shrine to all twelve
seeds and grains.
216
00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:08,195
- Sauce me a pass, bro.
- Pass me a sauce, buddy.
217
00:08:08,195 --> 00:08:10,572
- Little sriracha aioli?
- Little truffle reduction?
218
00:08:10,697 --> 00:08:13,200
- Li'l pesto mayo?
- Li'l curry ketchup?
219
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,329
A li'l spicy brown habanero
dill mustard? Fuck!
220
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,206
Mmm! Little piri-piri
wasabi horseradish? Fuck!
221
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,965
- Gail, how are ya now?
- Good 'n you?
222
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:30,843
- Oh, not so bad.
- 'Kay.
223
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,219
Don't love
how quiet it is in here.
224
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:33,804
Well, maybe
you haven't heard.
225
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,973
Letterkenny has welcomed
a breastaurant to town.
226
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:39,142
Yeah? That, uh...
breastaurant?
227
00:08:39,142 --> 00:08:40,936
It's about as welcome
as an outhouse breeze.
228
00:08:41,061 --> 00:08:42,854
You've got loyal customers
for life in us.
229
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:44,147
You know that, right?
230
00:08:44,147 --> 00:08:46,734
Yeah, but those citiots
poached my best server.
231
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,277
Awww!
232
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,695
Bonnie McMurray!
233
00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:52,198
I'm still working here!
234
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,450
But I'm working a double
today... in two places.
235
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:57,161
- Judas.
- We've all gotta make our
paper,
236
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,870
and I'm not surprised
they poached me.
237
00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,705
I have more savoir faire
than anyone in town.
238
00:09:00,705 --> 00:09:01,748
Savoir faire.
239
00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:02,999
- Savoir fwair.
- Savoir faire!
240
00:09:02,999 --> 00:09:04,252
Suvuh faiyah.
241
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,128
Does ya really wanna works
at a place like that
242
00:09:06,253 --> 00:09:07,754
that's gonna exploits ya,
though, Bonnies?
243
00:09:07,754 --> 00:09:10,174
Can't exploit me
if I volunteer, bud. Tips.
244
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:12,051
Do you really want guys
leering at you all night long
245
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,386
while you're trying
to do work?
246
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,805
How's that any different
than being around you two,
247
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,764
or how Gail exploits Wayne
around here?
248
00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:20,850
What Wayne and I have
is a sacred bond
249
00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:23,061
between bartender
and customer!
250
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:26,190
And sometimes
my weighted body pillow.
251
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,691
Yawn.
252
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:30,860
I heard those places takes part
in bad business practices.
253
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:32,363
Likes to avoid
payin' severances,
254
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,574
they'll just keeps givin' ya
bad shifts until ya quits
255
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,157
rather than fires ya.
256
00:09:36,283 --> 00:09:38,076
I'd never fire anyone
for anything I wouldn't do.
257
00:09:38,076 --> 00:09:40,036
Some blonde uptown
just tried to recruit me.
258
00:09:40,036 --> 00:09:41,747
To work
at the breastaurant?
259
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,498
- For what reason?
- I'll give ya two.
260
00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:44,791
Fair.
261
00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:46,543
Gotta go.
262
00:09:47,585 --> 00:09:49,546
- Hmm, I don't leer.
- Buddy, you're King Leer.
263
00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:50,589
You're Leer as Folk.
264
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:51,924
You're Leer
and Present Danger.
265
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,341
Nothin' to leers
but leers itself.
266
00:09:53,341 --> 00:09:54,426
Leers for Fears.
267
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:56,554
- I don't leer!
- Leer down, big rig!
268
00:10:01,474 --> 00:10:02,767
Behold!
269
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:05,937
Your new lounge leader
of late night happy hour.
270
00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:08,232
- It's happy hour.
- Mia--
271
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,401
Sofia?
272
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,110
Low-rent Gerard Way?
273
00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,903
You manage
the breastaurant?
274
00:10:13,903 --> 00:10:15,948
That term is offensive,
you queerbait.
275
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,701
Just gonna just let that one
hang in the air for a minute.
276
00:10:19,826 --> 00:10:21,829
You, uh--
277
00:10:21,829 --> 00:10:23,122
you look pretty hot.
278
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,708
Thank you.
You been, uh, working out?
279
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,791
Actually, I--
280
00:10:26,791 --> 00:10:27,917
Just kidding,
I don't give a fuck.
281
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,922
You have just
fallen backwards
282
00:10:32,922 --> 00:10:34,550
into catching
the luckiest of breaks.
283
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,511
I have arrived
to grace your establishment
284
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:40,056
with my Ibiza-level talents
on the ones and twos.
285
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,474
The hiring process is over
286
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,974
and that's not how
you pronounce Ibiza.
287
00:10:42,974 --> 00:10:44,935
You should 'I-bee-tha'
so lucky
288
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,896
to have Stewart drop
waxed science
289
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,522
upon the patrons
of your Straight Hooters.
290
00:10:49,522 --> 00:10:51,025
Fine. Résumé.
291
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:01,160
Never have I once been asked
for my credentials!
292
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,080
The nerve of requiring a paper
defence of my title as--
293
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,456
Best DJ in Letterkenny!
294
00:11:06,456 --> 00:11:08,291
Letterkenny is
minor league, bud.
295
00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,959
You're up against
city talent here.
296
00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,336
Do you have a SoundCloud
at least?
297
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:15,174
We only post
our mixes on the dark web.
298
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,386
Hmm. Beat it,
Chemical Sisters.
299
00:11:19,469 --> 00:11:21,681
Let's go, girls.
300
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,017
Your problematic language
is going to show up
in my Yelp review.
301
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,893
Buddy, I know we've
already expressed
302
00:11:26,893 --> 00:11:28,937
our mutual excitement for
the big city sandos.
303
00:11:29,062 --> 00:11:30,815
However, I fear we'd
be remiss
304
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,358
if we forgot to
circle back on the...
305
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,402
- Slams?
- The big city slams.
306
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,695
You know what I'm like,
secretly most excited for?
307
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:37,863
What's that, buddy?
308
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,031
The toilets.
309
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,740
Oh, first class
shitters, bro.
310
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:42,910
Floor to ceiling doors
on the stalls.
311
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,744
Sports page above
the pisser.
312
00:11:44,744 --> 00:11:46,205
Exotic foot
flush buttons.
313
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,998
You know what I love doing
at those pissers?
314
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,208
I bet I know.
315
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:52,460
That little game
where you try--
316
00:11:52,585 --> 00:11:56,132
and melt all the ice
in the urinal with your pee!
317
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,675
- 'Ferda.
- 'Ferda!
318
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,844
Still though. There's gonna be
some talent there tonight.
319
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,094
Great place
to net a few.
320
00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:02,680
You ever wheeled in
a chain restaurant, buddy?
321
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,889
Buddy, I've never not wheeled
in a restaurant.
322
00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:07,892
I wheeled a hostess before my
seating pager even went off.
323
00:12:07,892 --> 00:12:09,394
I wheeled
a double-shifting server
324
00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:11,062
post zoo sticks
with extra dip.
325
00:12:11,062 --> 00:12:13,022
I wheeled a manager while
she was rolling her loonies
326
00:12:13,022 --> 00:12:14,150
for her cash out.
327
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,484
I diddled
in a Golden Griddle.
328
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,985
I wheeled a Kelsey
at a Kelsey's.
329
00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:18,612
I wheeled a Casey
at a Casey's.
330
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,782
I fucked Bubba Gump
at Bubba Gump's.
331
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,117
Flagship store.
332
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,368
Bottomed my first top
at IHOP.
333
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:25,661
Gobbled cock
at Manchu Wok.
334
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,455
Straight up the poolius
at Orange Julius.
335
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,165
You know I've fucked guys
at Popeye's.
336
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,041
Ripped a double choke-o
at El Pollo Loco.
337
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,417
Raging bone
at Cold Stone.
338
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:34,043
Took it in the back
at Shake Shack.
339
00:12:34,043 --> 00:12:35,421
Ever sucked willies
at a Chili's?
340
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,172
Buddy, I've had Five Guys
with a side of fries.
341
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:39,841
You see these thighs?
Don't tell no lies.
342
00:12:41,384 --> 00:12:43,762
Have you guys ever heard
of Gay Hooters?
343
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:47,141
Gettin' a wee bit nervous
about tonight's crowd.
344
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,892
But there isn't one.
345
00:12:48,892 --> 00:12:50,560
Fuckin' right
you're on fire, eh.
346
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,062
I can't even understand
the appeal
347
00:12:53,062 --> 00:12:54,772
of opening a chain restaurant
in Letterkenny.
348
00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:57,401
Maybe you should
adjust, cousint'.
349
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,570
Doing anything special
besides Wing Wednesdays?
350
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,780
Thirsty Thursday!
351
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,449
Get so drunk on Saturdays
that I free pour.
352
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,450
That counts.
353
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,533
Nah, these are
the types of places
354
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:08,286
that have nights
like Frosé Friday.
355
00:13:08,286 --> 00:13:09,997
Oh, I love
frosé beverages.
356
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:11,206
I tell you what,
357
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:14,752
they rock a Mozza Stick
Monday, you rock a--
358
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,960
Deep Fried
Mushroom Monday.
359
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:16,921
Fuckin' eh!
360
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,088
You already do
Thirsty Thursdays.
361
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,547
That's three nights
right there.
362
00:13:19,547 --> 00:13:21,090
I do what I do!
363
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:22,718
My customers are loyal
or they're not.
364
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,552
Hey, Gail, you know what
I'm glad that you never do?
365
00:13:24,552 --> 00:13:27,013
- What?
- On top of not asking
customers,
366
00:13:27,013 --> 00:13:28,306
"What are your big plans
for the night?"
367
00:13:28,306 --> 00:13:30,059
while you're waiting
for them to pay the bill.
368
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,227
Worst.
369
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,769
Sometimes
I'm excited to share.
370
00:13:32,769 --> 00:13:34,814
You never say--
371
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:39,109
You never say...
372
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,320
"How are the first few
bites tasting?"
373
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,946
- Holy fuck.
- Ugh!
374
00:13:42,946 --> 00:13:44,824
- Like, holy fuck.
- Yuck.
375
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,325
Except for, maybe
it's not tasting so good.
376
00:13:47,325 --> 00:13:49,786
You know what,
there's somethin' real pervy
377
00:13:49,786 --> 00:13:51,955
about that
word "taste".
378
00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:53,581
McMurray pervy
as I recall.
379
00:13:53,706 --> 00:13:55,626
- Who could forgets?
- It's just a word.
380
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,585
You think?
381
00:13:57,585 --> 00:14:00,256
You don't think it sounds
a little bit pervy at all
382
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,715
to say, "And how are
the first few bites tasting?"
383
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,469
"Hey. Hey.
384
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:07,262
Everything tasting
to your liking?"
385
00:14:07,262 --> 00:14:09,974
"I see you've had a taste.
How was it?"
386
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,059
"Couple bites there.
How's it taste?"
387
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,935
"Taste... good?"
388
00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:16,062
"Oh, yeah.
You like how it tastes?"
389
00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,397
- Cheque please.
- Sure thing.
390
00:14:17,397 --> 00:14:19,065
What are your big plans
for the night?
391
00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:20,734
Ugh!
392
00:14:22,652 --> 00:14:24,320
Sasha and Dickweed.
393
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,368
Name me one other purveyor
of the black wax
394
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:33,372
who has such a glorious
display of twelve inches.
395
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,541
The Phantom's Revenge.
396
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,209
I think twelve inches is
giving yourself
397
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,752
a bit too much credit.
398
00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,671
Hmm, no.
No, it's actua--
399
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,214
I wasn't talking to you,
Fartboy Slim.
400
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:44,340
You are bitchier
than I remember!
401
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:45,551
And you're uglier.
402
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,430
Just lay your eyes
upon this glorious crate!
403
00:14:50,763 --> 00:14:53,767
They are all rare
white label bootlegs.
404
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:57,229
We have the two-step garage
remix of Melissa Etheridge.
405
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,980
Bobby McFerrin
Live at Budokan.
406
00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:00,398
Skrillex,
early acoustic demo.
407
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:02,109
There's a recording
of Daft Punk
408
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,527
literally playing
at James Murphy's house.
409
00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,778
- Chicago covering Boston.
- Boston covering Toronto.
410
00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:07,031
Toronto covering
Chicago!
411
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,532
Stop!
Fuck, you guys sound
412
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,533
like a game of meth-head
Cards Against Humanity.
413
00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:11,911
Impressed?
414
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,119
I wasn't even listening,
415
00:15:13,119 --> 00:15:14,495
but I noticed
you have a case of vinyls.
416
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,165
Ugh!
417
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,084
The plural of "vinyl"
is vinyl.
418
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,711
- It's not Lego.
- Whatever.
419
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:23,921
We don't have turntables here.
This isn't 1982.
420
00:15:23,921 --> 00:15:25,883
You-- you don't
have turntables?
421
00:15:27,216 --> 00:15:29,511
Uh, then what do your DJs use?
- I don't know.
422
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,638
The one I hired brings in
this circle contraption,
423
00:15:31,638 --> 00:15:33,389
the other just plays
YouTube clips off her phone.
424
00:15:33,389 --> 00:15:35,559
- Blasphemy.
- Heresy!
425
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,935
I also checked out your online
presence, you have none.
426
00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:39,271
Mm-hmm, but, um
did you check the--
427
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,814
dark web?
428
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,066
Listen, there are two types of
DJs you hire in this business.
429
00:15:43,066 --> 00:15:44,984
Those who suck
but bring people down,
430
00:15:44,984 --> 00:15:46,903
and those who don't suck
and don't bring people down,
431
00:15:46,903 --> 00:15:48,906
but keep people here.
If you have big tits,
432
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,575
and experience DJing
in the city, even better.
433
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,451
Love that
big city titty.
434
00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:54,994
What about
itty-bitty city titty?
435
00:15:54,994 --> 00:15:56,162
Pretty shitty.
436
00:15:56,162 --> 00:15:58,748
Give me one good reason
you won't hire me!
437
00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:00,959
I've given several,
but let's recap.
438
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:03,671
Big picture, you don't have
followers, you don't have tits,
439
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,381
and you probably
don't even do mashups.
440
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,757
- Ogh!
- Ugh!
441
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:09,884
I knew it, Ste-- I knew--
Stewart, I knew it!
442
00:16:09,884 --> 00:16:12,972
Probably looking for
a little INXS-Club 7?
443
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,556
Talk to me when you've got
some Post Malonely Island.
444
00:16:15,556 --> 00:16:18,310
A little Blink 182 Chainz?
445
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,019
Come back when you've got
some KRS-One Direction.
446
00:16:20,019 --> 00:16:23,107
Maybe a little
Stone Temple 21 Pilots?
447
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,315
21 Savage Garden.
448
00:16:24,315 --> 00:16:25,984
George Michael Bolton?
449
00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,987
Less talk,
more Cat Power Stevens.
450
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,113
- Uh, Lil Wayne Newton?
- Halsey and Oates, bitch.
451
00:16:30,113 --> 00:16:31,239
Cardi Beastie Boys?
452
00:16:31,364 --> 00:16:32,992
Cardi B-52's!
453
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,326
Alice In Chainsmokers?
454
00:16:35,326 --> 00:16:36,786
Fall Out Boy George.
455
00:16:36,786 --> 00:16:38,497
The Jackson
5 Seconds of Summer?!
456
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,709
- Cardi Beatles.
- Aggghh!
457
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,214
Hoo, boy.
458
00:16:48,214 --> 00:16:49,841
You ever hoovered schneef
in a restaurant?
459
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,843
I've hoovered schneef
at a Subway Samiches'
460
00:16:51,843 --> 00:16:53,803
cuttin' it up with
a fully stocked rewards card.
461
00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:56,305
I've hoovered schneef
and gone back for a fountain
pop refill.
462
00:16:56,305 --> 00:16:58,599
I've hoovered schneef off
the middle buns of
my Bigs Macs.
463
00:16:58,725 --> 00:17:00,226
I've hoovered schneef off
of a billfold
464
00:17:00,226 --> 00:17:01,645
before payin' my tab.
465
00:17:01,645 --> 00:17:03,813
I've hoovered schneefs
off of the baby change station
466
00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:06,358
in a handicap stall at an
East Side Mario's
in Etobicokes.
467
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,650
I've hoovered
gluten-free schneef.
468
00:17:07,650 --> 00:17:09,028
I've hoovered
ocean wise schneef.
469
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,655
I've hoovered schneef
at a Cactus Club in Saskatoon
470
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,282
and heard a fella in the next
stall say, "Git it in ya."
471
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:15,701
Fuckin' degens.
472
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,244
Gailer, do lots of people
hoover schneef in here?
473
00:17:18,244 --> 00:17:21,999
I pour lamp oil on the tops
of the toilet tanks before
every shift.
474
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,585
If anyone dumps schneef on
it, it dissolves instantly.
475
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,503
- Do you really?
- She does.
476
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:30,049
I'm the only one who's gonna
get your fucked up in here.
477
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,300
"You" bein' the key word
478
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,385
'cause there ain't anyone
else to serve.
479
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,428
Guess my customers are
as loyal as Sir Bill's.
480
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:37,805
Hey, Gailer?
481
00:17:40,266 --> 00:17:41,393
Is the kitchen
still open?
482
00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:43,645
The door is,
the kitchen is!
483
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,688
Easton and Weston...
I thought for sure
484
00:17:45,688 --> 00:17:47,899
you'd be marching up skirt
at the new place.
485
00:17:47,899 --> 00:17:50,109
We were but we looked
at their menu
486
00:17:50,109 --> 00:17:51,403
and their sandos
are $26.
487
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,320
Then share.
488
00:17:52,445 --> 00:17:54,071
It said no sharing
on the menu.
489
00:17:54,071 --> 00:17:55,948
Godless motherfuckers!
490
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:02,915
Madame Gail?
491
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,541
Don't call me a madam.
492
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,585
I don't run
a brothel. Yet.
493
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:09,838
- Ah. Sex.
- Sex.
494
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,881
We've brought you
and your patrons
495
00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:14,801
the finest of worldly
songsmith selections.
496
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:16,052
What patrons?
497
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:23,393
May we put them on in
a chosen sequence anyway?
498
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,270
Sure.
499
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:28,064
Oh! Bonnie McMurray!
500
00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:29,608
What it do,
chicky-poo?
501
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,235
They cut me. Bit of a disaster
over there, actually.
502
00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:33,779
They weren't prepared
for the crowd.
503
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,115
See, they're making fools of
themselves over there, Gailer.
504
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,199
So, everybody's leaving?
505
00:18:38,199 --> 00:18:39,827
You heard it here first.
506
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,922
Guess I'm workin'
a triple.
507
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:56,092
♪ Arriba! ♪
508
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:59,221
♪ Mm, mm! Woooo! ♪
509
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,680
♪ Tell me ♪
510
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,139
♪ Tell me whatcha like ♪
511
00:19:02,139 --> 00:19:03,766
♪ Tell me whatcha ordered ♪
512
00:19:03,766 --> 00:19:06,270
♪ Met a freak 'bout to bring
her back to Georgia ♪
513
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,646
♪ Get her past the border ♪
514
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,232
♪ Might go down to Florida
or to California ♪
515
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:11,608
♪ Smellin' my aroma ♪
516
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,569
♪ Niggas actin' like
they really certified ♪
517
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,445
♪ What?
Show me your diploma ♪
518
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,946
♪ He's a goner ♪
519
00:19:16,946 --> 00:19:18,573
♪ Came from the city where
they tote their hammers ♪
520
00:19:18,698 --> 00:19:20,199
♪ Aim for the money,
shit so bananas ♪
521
00:19:20,199 --> 00:19:22,243
♪ Pin a pic with the flow
better hold the canvas ♪
522
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:24,538
♪ Hit your girl from the back
make her hold the candles ♪
523
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:25,580
♪ It's lit ♪
524
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:26,747
♪ All the candles ♪
525
00:19:26,747 --> 00:19:28,541
♪ Whole neck shine
like solar panels ♪
526
00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:30,502
♪ Must see TV
I control the channel ♪
527
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,503
♪ I'm 'bout to make a film
better hold the camera ♪
528
00:19:32,503 --> 00:19:34,464
♪ Like, whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! ♪
529
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,049
♪ Pulled up
with the whole gang ♪
530
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,051
♪ Everybody yell "go!" ♪
531
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,720
♪ Sprinkle my cheddar
on the chips ♪
532
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,512
♪ My wallet nah' yours ♪
533
00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:42,889
Sprinklin', sprinklin'!
534
00:19:42,889 --> 00:19:44,515
♪ If your girl round me,
sorry ♪
535
00:19:44,515 --> 00:19:46,685
♪ That mean that
you lost her (that lost her) ♪
536
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,228
♪ Aight money dance to
the bank, my money
do the salsa ♪
537
00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:50,606
♪ Woo! It dance
and it dance ♪
538
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:51,732
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
539
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:53,192
♪ It dance and it dance
and it dance ♪
540
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,193
Arriba!
541
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,569
♪ It dance and it dance ♪
542
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,070
♪ It dance and it dance
and don't stop ♪
543
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,112
♪ Whoa, whoa!
It dance... ♪
40420
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