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1
00:00:08,924 --> 00:00:11,593
Well, you seen some pretty
outrageous things in your life,
2
00:00:11,593 --> 00:00:16,014
but nothin' more outrageous than
what you seen the other day.
3
00:00:16,014 --> 00:00:18,225
- Favorite superhero, go.
- Hmm, Superman.
4
00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:19,768
- Wonder Woman.
- Batman.
5
00:00:19,768 --> 00:00:20,728
- Deadpool.
- Why Batman?
6
00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:22,771
- He's quiet.
- Ah, mysterious.
7
00:00:22,896 --> 00:00:25,441
No mystique, big mistake.
8
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:30,112
- Tell them that.
- Nuh-nuh!
9
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,240
Pete and repeat. W5.
10
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,868
- Just finished a runski.
- Little jogski.
11
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,411
- Little sprintski.
- A little trotski.
12
00:00:37,411 --> 00:00:39,496
- Good film.
- You don't wanna see this?
13
00:00:39,496 --> 00:00:41,916
I smell body spray,
so I know it can't be good.
14
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,376
Alexander.
15
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:47,963
Confucius say a man who stand
on toilet is high on pot.
16
00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:49,381
What do you think
about these two?
17
00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:51,884
They're not gonna get
any chicks dressing like gays.
18
00:00:51,884 --> 00:00:53,178
What if they are gay?
19
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,553
They're for sure
not gonna get any chicks now.
20
00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:56,931
Your junk looks like it wants
to shake my hand.
21
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,640
You stuffed a winter glove
down there?
22
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,145
Looks like Ziploc bag
full of carrot sticks to me.
23
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,313
Small price to pay
24
00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:07,149
for the scientific competitive
edge, boys. Compression tights.
25
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:10,027
We're over here decreasing
wind resistance by 2%,
26
00:01:10,027 --> 00:01:11,821
you're sitting
over there like suckers.
27
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:14,365
You're decreasing your manhood
by a significantly...
28
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:15,658
...larger percentage.
29
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,452
A significantly larger
percentage, yeah.
30
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:19,746
All right, let me get to the
bottom of this... Holy fuck!
31
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,331
Give me one good reason why you
wanna go running in tights
32
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:23,792
with your junk
bouncin' about.
33
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,502
Give me one good reason
why we shouldn't.
34
00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,586
- Want two?
- Even better.
35
00:01:27,586 --> 00:01:29,089
Women and children.
36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,758
- Tights are for girls.
- Compression tights.
37
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,592
They hold your muscles
firmly in place
38
00:01:33,592 --> 00:01:36,845
while improving
blood flow to the muscles.
39
00:01:36,845 --> 00:01:38,598
So, Lululemon comes along.
40
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,682
Revolutionizes
the female ass game.
41
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:44,270
Dudes say they love it because
they secretly want to wear it?
42
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,854
These are nothing
like Lululemons.
43
00:01:45,854 --> 00:01:47,815
They're exactly
like Lululemons.
44
00:01:47,815 --> 00:01:49,484
Okay, yeah, but they're
not Lululemons.
45
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,652
If it
looks like a duck
46
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,195
- and quacks like a duck...
- They're not!
47
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,612
What if they are?
48
00:01:53,612 --> 00:01:54,947
Then they're definitely not
gonna get any chicks now.
49
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:57,617
They're for increased athletic
performance, boys.
50
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,493
But we can see
your junk, boys.
51
00:01:59,493 --> 00:02:01,121
That's actually not
from the tights.
52
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,706
Uh, we're also wearing this new
kind of underwear called Bagz.
53
00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,415
They're coming' land,
sea and air.
54
00:02:05,415 --> 00:02:07,000
Army, Navy, Air Force, baby.
55
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,253
Separates your dink
from your balls.
56
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:09,629
And your balls from your leg.
57
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,504
To avoid chafing.
58
00:02:10,504 --> 00:02:12,339
- Dudes chafe?
- No.
59
00:02:12,339 --> 00:02:14,843
Try running
in compression tights, bud.
60
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,094
No!
61
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,845
How do they separate
your balls from your leg?
62
00:02:17,845 --> 00:02:19,221
You put on your gitch, right?
63
00:02:19,346 --> 00:02:21,015
Just like any other day.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
64
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,475
But with Bagz,
when you pull 'em up,
65
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,184
you drop your balls
into a hammock-like pouch.
66
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,230
Yeah, you just set 'em in there,
like...
67
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,147
And you just drop your balls
in the pouch right there.
68
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:30,148
Yeah, you just station
them in there,
69
00:02:30,148 --> 00:02:31,401
like...
70
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,403
But that makes your junk
stick out even more?
71
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,112
You tell me, Katy-Kat.
72
00:02:35,112 --> 00:02:36,697
All right, so you wanna
73
00:02:36,697 --> 00:02:38,116
You throw on some tights.
74
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,367
Compression tights.
75
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,243
Junk's out there.
Women and children.
76
00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:42,661
Increased athletic performance.
77
00:02:42,661 --> 00:02:45,165
And then you put on
some special underwear
78
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,498
with a pouch for your balls...
79
00:02:46,498 --> 00:02:48,375
Just set them in there.
80
00:02:48,375 --> 00:02:50,420
Yeah, just drop your balls
in the little pouch right there.
81
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,671
That make your junk
82
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,839
- stick out more.
- Oh, that's it, boys.
83
00:02:53,839 --> 00:02:55,465
That's the dagger.
84
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,386
Oh, God.
85
00:03:00,929 --> 00:03:04,058
No mystique,
big mistake.
86
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:13,985
You're early.
87
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,320
If you're not 10 minutes
early, you're late.
88
00:03:17,237 --> 00:03:20,200
- Very cool. Very nice.
- Fuck you.
89
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,910
- Pardon?
- Not you. Guy behind you just
90
00:03:22,910 --> 00:03:26,080
- farmer-spit on the carpet.
- Unusual business as usual.
91
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:27,415
I hear you're taking
your little cousin
92
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,374
to Quebec
for his 18th birthday.
93
00:03:29,374 --> 00:03:31,920
- That okay?
- Just making conversation.
94
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,671
Why Quebec?
95
00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:36,715
Well, he's turning 18.
96
00:03:36,715 --> 00:03:39,093
The legal drinking age
in Quebec is 18,
97
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,012
so, do the math.
98
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:44,307
- Fuck off!
- What's that?
99
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,434
Not you. Girl behind you
just crop-dusted.
100
00:03:48,518 --> 00:03:52,231
Very gnarly. Very gnarly,
very unnecessary.
101
00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,651
Unusual business,
as usual.
102
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,111
Anything else calling
your name in Quebec?
103
00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,613
Poutine? Smoked meat?
104
00:04:00,572 --> 00:04:02,659
- Nope.
- Best strippers in Canada.
105
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,534
Okay, is that to me
or someone behind me?
106
00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:06,329
- Cousin.
- Cousin.
107
00:04:06,787 --> 00:04:08,455
Dierks.
108
00:04:08,455 --> 00:04:10,959
- How are ya now?
- Good, and you?
109
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,092
I am fuckin' dying
for a piece of you.
110
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,385
Oh, hi, big daddy.
111
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:22,719
I am just
dying to get you.
112
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:26,724
Katy.
113
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,976
Movie starts in five,
big shoots.
114
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,688
Pitter-Patter.
115
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,779
Everybody in your town likes me
except for you, cute butt.
116
00:04:40,779 --> 00:04:42,072
Chew on that. Zoot.
117
00:04:43,991 --> 00:04:46,493
- I don't like that dude.
- I don't like that dude.
118
00:04:46,493 --> 00:04:47,620
I don't like that dude.
119
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,039
Well, ain't no reason
to get excited.
120
00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,339
I know you're just
doing that
121
00:04:59,339 --> 00:05:00,717
- to bug me.
- What's that?
122
00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:04,303
- Stop doing that.
- Stop doing what?
123
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:07,556
- You didn't even read that page.
- Which page?
124
00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:09,683
- Stop that!
- Sorry?
125
00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:10,851
You're missing your book.
126
00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:12,770
I've read this book
several times, so...
127
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,106
Not missing much.
128
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,315
Must be a pretty
good book.
129
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:18,400
Oh, it's a great
book, it's...
130
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,695
The Black Donnellys.
131
00:05:25,407 --> 00:05:28,202
- I like how those pants fit.
- It's a good pant.
132
00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:29,411
Good pants?
133
00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:30,912
Why, is there more
than one pant?
134
00:05:30,912 --> 00:05:32,039
It's a pair of pants.
135
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,791
Oh, the gal at the store
called it a pant.
136
00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,084
Well, that's a gal who should
know they're called pants.
137
00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:37,712
One time she
called it a jean.
138
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,671
Bet she liked
how that jean fit too.
139
00:05:39,671 --> 00:05:41,923
- Katy thought she was a lesbian.
- Hmm.
140
00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:50,099
She still trying
to get in your pant?
141
00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:52,894
Okay, maybe it is pants.
142
00:05:54,686 --> 00:05:56,438
- Tough go, eh?
- Yep.
143
00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:58,440
Getting any easier?
144
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,486
Yep.
145
00:06:04,738 --> 00:06:05,739
We going?
146
00:06:05,739 --> 00:06:07,407
Well, I got chorin'
to do first, so...
147
00:06:07,407 --> 00:06:09,409
I got two strong hands.
I can help.
148
00:06:09,409 --> 00:06:11,204
Well, more hands
make less work.
149
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,580
Prove it.
150
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,791
Oh, what, so after that,
we go over there together?
151
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:17,751
Don't threaten me
with a good time.
152
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,128
So, what would
you say if like...
153
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,757
We started going, like,
154
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,801
most places together.
155
00:06:26,510 --> 00:06:28,930
I'd say, Pitter-Patter.
156
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,640
- Good enough.
- But let's get at 'er.
157
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,890
Big day in Letterkenny.
158
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,601
Yep. It's...
159
00:06:34,351 --> 00:06:35,560
- Day beers day!
- Day beers!
160
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,063
- Day beers!
- Day beers!
161
00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,231
- Day beers!
- Nose beers!
162
00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:40,358
Stewart!
163
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,984
Happy day beers day,
tout le monde!
164
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,070
Already got a pint
of gin in the cocksucker.
165
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:47,114
I think you've had more like
a fish bowl of gin there.
166
00:06:47,114 --> 00:06:49,032
More like a salad bowls of gins.
167
00:06:49,032 --> 00:06:51,661
More like a waste paper
bak-set full of gin.
168
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,286
Attaboy.
169
00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:54,830
One of these days, we'll just
fill up the bathtub with gin.
170
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,291
- Skip the middle man!
- Uh-oh. McMurray's hammered.
171
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,418
I know what that means.
172
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,835
- I'm out.
- Where's you goings?
173
00:06:59,835 --> 00:07:01,546
Dierks took his cousin
to Quebec
174
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,630
for his 18th birthday,
and they just got back,
175
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:06,592
so I'm headed stateside to help
them with their hangovers.
176
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,301
That's something that
girlfriends do, right?
177
00:07:08,301 --> 00:07:09,928
I really wouldn't know.
178
00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:11,305
- Caesars?
- You bet.
179
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,181
Why Quebec?
180
00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:15,308
Best strippers on earth
in Quebec.
181
00:07:15,308 --> 00:07:16,935
The legal drinking
age is 18.
182
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,647
- Plus you can touch 'em!
- Touch what?
183
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,274
The tits.
184
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,859
You can suck on 'em
nine of 10 titty bars too.
185
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,113
Okay, I'll bite.
Have you ever done that?
186
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,325
Have we ever done?
187
00:07:33,743 --> 00:07:36,789
Okay, boys.
Picture this.
188
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,207
I want you
to picture this.
189
00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:40,209
Mrs. McMurray and I
are getting a couples lapper.
190
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,255
So I got both hands
on one tit!
191
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,757
- And I'm suckin' on it.
- I want you to picture this.
192
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,133
I said, "This is something."
193
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,676
I said, "Baby,
what do you think of this?"
194
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,219
I said I've never seen
anything like it, baby.
195
00:07:51,344 --> 00:07:55,349
And before I know it, she's got
two hands on the other tit.
196
00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:56,558
And she's sucking on it.
197
00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:57,810
I said, "What do you
think of this, baby?"
198
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,645
I said,
"I won't soon forget it."
199
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,188
Yeah, that's my cue.
200
00:08:02,772 --> 00:08:04,649
Gailer! Pitcher of Beefeater!
201
00:08:04,649 --> 00:08:06,318
Drive safe,
Miss Katy.
202
00:08:06,318 --> 00:08:07,652
Nuh-nuh!
203
00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:09,488
Where's
she going?
204
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,032
- Why?
- Morning, lovely!
205
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,741
I was gonna
take a run at her.
206
00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:14,202
I was gonna take
a big run at her.
207
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,786
Youse twos are the worst.
208
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,370
I was gonna
gun it, buddy.
209
00:08:17,370 --> 00:08:18,663
Sometimes you just
gotta gun it, boys.
210
00:08:18,663 --> 00:08:19,748
Fuckin' gun it, buddy.
211
00:08:19,873 --> 00:08:21,249
Gun it straight
across the room.
212
00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:23,543
Ah, you guys are out of luck.
Katy's got a new dude.
213
00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:24,628
- Huh?
- Who?
214
00:08:24,628 --> 00:08:26,506
A guy named Dierks.
From Michigan.
215
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,383
- A Yank?
- I fuckin' hate Yanks.
216
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,844
Oh, Bonnie McMurray.
217
00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:34,805
- Beers?
- Day beers!
218
00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:37,224
Take a run
at her, boys.
219
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:38,975
Take a big run at her.
220
00:08:38,975 --> 00:08:41,771
You are so beneath her
at this point, peasants.
221
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,022
I would love
to be. Ha!
222
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,234
And Katy wouldn't even
fuck you with my dick.
223
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,944
I wouldn't
want her to anyway.
224
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,445
Well, don't knock it
till you've tried it.
225
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,738
I never do.
226
00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:56,618
Did you guys hear
Katy's dating a Yank?
227
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:12,634
You gonna move
your bum?
228
00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:15,095
Move your bum.
229
00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:21,852
You don't want
me to go?
230
00:09:24,104 --> 00:09:25,647
Okay.
231
00:09:27,023 --> 00:09:30,360
All right. Go and get
so I can get it.
232
00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:32,946
Get!
233
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:38,411
- Mmm, day beers!
- Day beers!
234
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,619
- Day beers!
- Day beers!
235
00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,205
- Nose beers!
- Stewart!
236
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:44,916
What do you got
against Yanks, Reilly?
237
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:48,086
- I fuckin' hate Yanks.
- Yeah, we've established that.
238
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:50,756
Yank teams would come up
from Michigan and Ohio
239
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,008
to play in our tournaments
growing up,
240
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,801
and they were stacked.
They shit kicked us.
241
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,427
You guys are usually
losing though, no?
242
00:09:55,427 --> 00:09:56,887
This is
different, though.
243
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,806
A team from Detroit would have
a D-man from New York,
244
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:01,892
a tendy from Boston,
and a sniper from Minnesota.
245
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:05,104
They'd all fly in
thrice a week for practice,
246
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,604
then they'd come up
and shit kick us.
247
00:10:06,604 --> 00:10:07,815
Religious fellas?
248
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:10,191
- Why?
- It sounds like they got money.
249
00:10:10,191 --> 00:10:11,359
Wasn't fair.
250
00:10:11,359 --> 00:10:12,820
It was their best players
in their country
251
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,446
versus the best players
in our county.
252
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,532
I also hate Yanks!
253
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:17,867
Whys do youse hate Yanks?
254
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:30,086
Yanks were the first to steal
and catalogue your online data.
255
00:10:30,086 --> 00:10:32,131
Every website you've
ever been to,
256
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:34,550
every subject you've
ever searched,
257
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,594
every porno you
ever watched...
258
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,054
Every text
you've ever sent.
259
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,806
Yanks know it and have it
and, one day, will leak it.
260
00:10:41,806 --> 00:10:43,642
- Hence our venture into the...
- Dark web.
261
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:44,852
Where'd you read that?
262
00:10:44,852 --> 00:10:47,729
Well, I read it at
www.theresawebsite.com/idiot.
263
00:10:47,729 --> 00:10:51,191
Www.pullyourfinger
outtayourass.ca.
264
00:10:51,191 --> 00:10:54,027
Www.afterI.org/asm.
265
00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:58,657
Www.heresthething
...edu/aresparepartsbud.
266
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:02,411
Did you know that
Yank is kind of not PC now?
267
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:03,787
Mmm, it's true.
268
00:11:03,787 --> 00:11:05,873
A player in the Ontario
Hockey League got suspended
269
00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:08,626
for calling a European
player a Euro.
270
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,002
You can get suspended
for calling
271
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,671
someone from Europe a Euro?
272
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,754
Happened a couple times.
273
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:15,424
What Yank came up
with that fucking rule?
274
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,591
I got nothin'
against Yanks.
275
00:11:16,591 --> 00:11:18,051
If Canada was in trouble,
276
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,679
they'd be the first ones to come
up and help us get sorted.
277
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,097
- Good neighbors.
- Good film.
278
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,889
- Don't like Dierks though.
- Pourquoi?
279
00:11:22,889 --> 00:11:24,892
- 'Cause Wayne doesn't.
- I'm with you.
280
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:26,310
Don't be a fence sitter.
281
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,019
Yeah, gotta come out
for it one way or another.
282
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:30,355
Yeah, that Yank
better behave himself,
283
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:31,357
'cause if Katy is in trouble,
284
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,858
I'll fucking
speed-bag him, boys.
285
00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:34,151
I'd go to the wall
for that girl.
286
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,860
I'd go through a wall
for that girl.
287
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,113
- Full send.
- Yep.
288
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,198
That's small towns
in a snow globes for yas.
289
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,157
- Boy howdy.
- Yeah.
290
00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:43,076
We might bicker
with each other on the inside,
291
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:45,662
but if someone from the outside
comes knockin'...
292
00:11:58,633 --> 00:12:00,886
You didn't have to drive all
the way here to tell me that.
293
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,805
- But I did.
- Yeah, well.
294
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,181
Can't win 'em all.
295
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,935
It's not the only
reason I'm here.
296
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,271
- Oh, way...
- Is Katy here?
297
00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:11,229
No.
298
00:12:11,229 --> 00:12:13,523
Still with Ol' Long
Dick Dierks?
299
00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:17,695
My cousins had his bachelor
party a couple of days ago.
300
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,655
It was in a strip club
in Montreal,
301
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,782
- and I went with the boys.
- Good.
302
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:24,368
There was a Yank
buying everybody drinks.
303
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:27,455
And our table
eventually joined his table.
304
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,958
And all his friends were saying
how hot his girlfriend was,
305
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,502
and one of them
pulled a picture on his phone.
306
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,713
It was Katy.
307
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,006
Ain't no reason
to get excited.
308
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:38,632
They came in with
a bunch of girls.
309
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:41,469
And left with
a bunch of girls.
310
00:12:43,094 --> 00:12:44,847
He doing anything
he shouldn't be?
311
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:50,478
It's been a tough go, eh?
312
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:54,565
Yep.
313
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,983
Getting any easier?
314
00:12:58,735 --> 00:12:59,987
Yep.
315
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:04,365
Hearing you fellas
talk about Yanks,
316
00:13:04,365 --> 00:13:07,076
reminds me of my last
boys trip down McMyrtle Beach.
317
00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:08,870
I ever tell you about
a little girls' trip
318
00:13:08,870 --> 00:13:10,122
down McMayan Riviera?
319
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,791
Next year, she's gonna
be down McMaui.
320
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,751
Next year, she's down
McMontego Bay.
321
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,835
Rooftop, poolside, villas.
322
00:13:15,835 --> 00:13:18,339
- Well, between us girls?
- Between us girls?
323
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,049
I paddle up
to the swim-up bar
324
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,593
and there's an ethnic fella
lookin' some comely.
325
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,804
Pool is jam packed
with ethnicities.
326
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,181
This young fella sees me
looking at him,
327
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,767
and he sees me across the bar,
and he can tell
328
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,643
I'm lookin' for one
right in the twat.
329
00:13:31,643 --> 00:13:33,394
Three guarantees
in life, fellas.
330
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,022
Death, taxes,
331
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:38,108
and this gal wantin' one
right in the twat.
332
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,902
Next thing I know, he's paddling
around the swim-up bar,
333
00:13:41,778 --> 00:13:42,863
what do you think I did?
334
00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,406
So I paddle on over
to meet her halfway.
335
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,367
I said, "Young man, ya like
the ass, the tits or the cunt?"
336
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,451
This gal knows a cunt man
when she sees one.
337
00:13:48,451 --> 00:13:50,537
And that's
the right answer.
338
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,251
So she reaches
under the water
339
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,834
and starts givin' me
an over-the-pants handy.
340
00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:59,921
Molestation in some circles,
but this fella is here for it.
341
00:13:59,921 --> 00:14:01,799
So we head on over
to the poolside villa,
342
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,218
close the curtains
and I says to her,
343
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,554
"How about I stuff it
right in your snacker?"
344
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,847
Then one in the snapper.
345
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,764
So we start going
back and forth.
346
00:14:09,764 --> 00:14:11,099
- I'm in her...
- Snapper.
347
00:14:11,849 --> 00:14:12,852
- Then he's in my...
- Snacker.
348
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,060
- Snapper.
- Snacker.
349
00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:15,562
- Snapper!
- Snacker!
350
00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:17,857
Till we're both
making a mess.
351
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,941
We made one hell
of a mess in there.
352
00:14:19,941 --> 00:14:21,527
I hope they had a pressure
washer, that's all I know.
353
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,237
They must have had
a pressure washer or something.
354
00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,613
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm-hmm.
355
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,410
- Does Mrs...
- McMurray know about this?
356
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:32,120
- Of course.
- No secrets between spouses.
357
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,666
You know what
he does sometimes?
358
00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:38,252
He does the cutest
little thing.
359
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,546
I'll go outside the bathroom
door when she's on the shitter.
360
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,171
MRS. McMURRAY: And I'll hear
something outside
361
00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:44,591
that sounds like
a little golf clap.
362
00:14:44,591 --> 00:14:47,802
But it's me standing
out there in the buck, naked,
363
00:14:47,927 --> 00:14:50,263
shaking my hips
back and forth like so...
364
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:53,224
So his dink smacks
off his thighs.
365
00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,397
He sounds just like
a little golf clap.
366
00:15:02,942 --> 00:15:04,152
Are we
dancing now?
367
00:15:04,152 --> 00:15:06,530
Yes!
That's what we are doing.
368
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:09,240
Alexander!
Turn up the outside speakers!
27195
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