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1
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,845
Oh, here's something.
2
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,971
Looks like Professor Tricia
was exposed to speak
3
00:00:13,971 --> 00:00:16,807
at a women's conference
in Santa Bar-bare-uhs
tomorrows.
4
00:00:16,807 --> 00:00:18,517
I'm pretty sure that's
not how you pronounce
5
00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:19,893
Santa Barbara, Daniel.
6
00:00:19,893 --> 00:00:21,855
I think
you're thinking
of Hannah Barbera.
7
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,858
That's the studio
that produced
the animated series
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,693
Yogi Bear,
The Flintsones
and The Jetsons.
9
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,652
Josie and the Pussy Cats
can get it.
10
00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:31,364
Mm, I always wanted
to be a Powerpuff girl.
11
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,742
Anywhos, looks like
Professor Tricias
12
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,993
was exposed to speak
at a women's conference
13
00:00:35,993 --> 00:00:38,538
in Santas Bar-baras tomorrows
14
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,956
but she didn't gets
on her flights.
15
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:41,416
She hammered?
No.
16
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,501
Uh, turns out
that they routinely
oversells flights
17
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,169
anticipating cancellations.
18
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:47,212
So, if you don't check in
24 hours before
your flights takes off,
19
00:00:47,212 --> 00:00:48,714
you're at risks
of losing your seats.
20
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:50,884
To who?
Some other nut sack.
21
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,426
She is some upsets.
22
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:53,553
Keeps tweetings
about it.
23
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,637
Ugh. Okay. Professor Tricia.
24
00:00:55,637 --> 00:00:57,265
We get it. You're white.
25
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,642
What's all this then?
There's nothing more white
26
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,020
to complain about
than your airline experience.
27
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,479
Is too.
What?
28
00:01:04,646 --> 00:01:06,107
Uber.
All right, everybody.
29
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,859
That's time.
Let's put on
a great show!
30
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,664
Three, two...
31
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,750
Yeah, well, welcome
to Crack an Ag
32
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,795
and, bet you can't, so.
33
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,670
Dary, you better
tuck that bottom lip in
34
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:30,756
before a bird comes by
and poops on it.
35
00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,383
You looks like
your'e in a bad ways.
36
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,926
I am in a bad way.
37
00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:35,136
Yeah, Dary, I was
gonna say you look
38
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,303
like you're
in a bad way
over there,
39
00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:38,098
but the whole point
of this is to focus
40
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,556
on other
people's problems
41
00:01:39,556 --> 00:01:41,309
so we got time
for our own.
42
00:01:41,309 --> 00:01:42,351
So?
43
00:01:42,351 --> 00:01:43,770
So it's
a bit counterproductive
44
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,188
if we spend this time
working on your problems.
45
00:01:46,313 --> 00:01:48,440
So?
So suck it up, buttercup!
46
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,777
Don't slow up
production, Dary.
47
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,195
Well, I'm
in a real bad way.
48
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,695
What's the frequencys,
Kenneth?
49
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:55,657
I...
50
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,617
Never mind.
Oh, get fuckin real.
51
00:01:57,617 --> 00:02:00,118
You had it tee'd up
so fuckin' nicely, buddy.
52
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,288
It's just...
53
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,332
No.
Are ya comin'
or are ya goin?
54
00:02:06,041 --> 00:02:07,292
I had
a road rage incident.
55
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,379
Did you beat
the shits out
of someones?
56
00:02:10,379 --> 00:02:13,006
I didn't do
anything.
Airball.
57
00:02:13,006 --> 00:02:15,343
I was handcuffed.
Literallys?
58
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,802
Figuratively.
Okay.
59
00:02:16,802 --> 00:02:18,929
That is
much better
than literally.
60
00:02:18,929 --> 00:02:21,057
Depends on who you're
talkin' to, big shooter.
61
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:23,308
The fella thought
I cut him off.
Which I did not.
62
00:02:23,308 --> 00:02:24,560
So he pulls up
beside me,
63
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,354
rolls down his window,
and he says to me...
64
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,064
And this is the part
that handcuffed you?
65
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,023
Yeah, this is
the part that
handcuffed me.
66
00:02:30,023 --> 00:02:31,734
He rolls down
his window
and he says...
67
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,027
'Kay, here goes.
68
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,445
Suck my Johnson.
69
00:02:37,197 --> 00:02:40,159
Hmm.
Suck my Johnsons?
70
00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,619
Yeah, that's what he said.
He said "Suck my Johnson."
71
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:44,372
And that...
72
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,332
handcuffed yous?
73
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,374
Gagged and bound.
74
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,336
Why?
75
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,005
All right. When was
the last time
any of you...
76
00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:54,381
have ever heard
somebody tell you
77
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,675
to suck my Johnson?
78
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,343
1998.
79
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:58,719
Or even use
the word Johnson
80
00:02:58,719 --> 00:03:01,014
in the place of,
I don't know, horn.
Or knob.
81
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,640
Or dick.
Ding dong.
82
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,850
And the dandy waited
for a comeback...
83
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,977
just started at me
with his mouth wide open.
84
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,397
I balked.
Sounds to me
85
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,607
more like you
'cause you're a chicken.
86
00:03:11,607 --> 00:03:13,443
Well, Dary,
sounds like
you were too busy
87
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,111
hitting your head
on the low hanging fruit
to pluck it then, eh?
88
00:03:17,112 --> 00:03:18,113
Huh?
89
00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:20,533
You picks
a bigger johnsons.
Bingo.
90
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,618
What's a bigger
johnson?
No.
91
00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:24,578
It's who's
a bigger johnson.
92
00:03:24,578 --> 00:03:26,122
Well, who's
a bigger johnson?
93
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:27,790
So, he says...
94
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:28,957
suck my johnson.
95
00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:31,377
You say...
96
00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,046
suck my Magic Johnson.
97
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,505
That's a bigger johnsons.
That's one upsmanship.
98
00:03:35,505 --> 00:03:36,633
Bought and paid for.
99
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,259
John-son
of a bitch.
100
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,469
Suck my Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson.
101
00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:42,262
Yeah, much bigger johnson.
102
00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,890
Suck my Randy Johnson.
103
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,308
Oh, bonus points
for that one, too,
104
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,726
'cause Randy Johnson's
nickname was The Big Units.
105
00:03:47,726 --> 00:03:49,395
Suck my Jack Johnson.
106
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:51,814
Which ones?
I'm sorry.
107
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,148
There's more than one?
Yeah.
108
00:03:53,148 --> 00:03:55,235
There's the guitar players
or the hockey players.
109
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,694
Both the ones!
I mean,
110
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:58,070
I don't know.
What are we
talking about?
111
00:03:58,070 --> 00:04:00,197
You know what,
let's just forget about
that one anyways,
112
00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:02,866
'cause it's Dary.
113
00:04:02,866 --> 00:04:05,452
Okay. Suck my
Aaron Taylor Johnson.
114
00:04:05,452 --> 00:04:07,955
From the movie Godzillas.
Now, that's a big johnsons.
115
00:04:07,955 --> 00:04:09,707
Suck my Howard Johnson.
116
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:11,918
Giant hotel chain.
Massive johnsons.
117
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,003
Suck my
Johnson & Johnson.
118
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:16,755
Billion dollar
conglomerate.
Ample johnsons.
119
00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:18,548
Suck my Johnstonville Brats.
120
00:04:18,548 --> 00:04:20,592
Best beer brat outside
the ball park, bud.
121
00:04:20,592 --> 00:04:22,135
That's a damn
good johnsons.
122
00:04:22,135 --> 00:04:24,555
So you've been
to Newfoundland lately?
Woo.
123
00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,431
Suck my St. Johnson.
124
00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:27,892
That one works
for New Brunswicks too.
125
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,935
Yeah, you could be
suckin' a couple
of St. Johnson's.
126
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,436
Oh, oh, listen
to this one.
127
00:04:31,436 --> 00:04:33,731
Suck my Sean Lennon.
128
00:04:34,481 --> 00:04:35,483
Why Sean Lennons?
129
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,236
Because he's John's son.
130
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:39,904
Boo!
131
00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:42,948
Suck my Lyndon
Baines Johnson.
132
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,784
Oh, LBJ was obsessed
with his horn
133
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,077
and was rumored
to have had a huge one.
134
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,620
LBJ?
135
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,871
Yeah, that's very
inside baseball, Daniel.
136
00:04:49,871 --> 00:04:52,709
I believes Randy Johnson's
had the inside baseball.
137
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,168
Hayoo!
138
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,919
In any event,
139
00:04:55,919 --> 00:04:57,087
follow up
with one of those
140
00:04:57,087 --> 00:04:59,257
and he'll be
froze dick hard.
141
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,842
'Kay, we've got a caller.
142
00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,592
And he goes
by the name of...
143
00:05:02,592 --> 00:05:04,512
Suck my johnson!
144
00:05:05,846 --> 00:05:07,890
That's him.
How dare you run
145
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:09,558
to your fruity TV show
146
00:05:09,558 --> 00:05:11,185
telling tales outta school.
147
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,061
That's fuckin' gutless.
148
00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:14,397
Well, you've got
your tools packed
149
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:16,024
for this job site.
Let him have it.
150
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,282
Suck my Jack Johnson!
151
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:27,784
Oh, which one?
152
00:05:28,368 --> 00:05:29,661
Air ball.
153
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,507
Oh, Come on,
white boy. Goddamn!
154
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,717
You better not
nut before I nut.
155
00:05:43,717 --> 00:05:46,846
Oh, goddamn. Hold
onto that nut, boy.
156
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,722
Oh, yeah,
stretch me out,
big boy.
157
00:05:48,722 --> 00:05:50,683
I'ma nut. Shit.
158
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,560
Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
159
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,104
Oh, that's it,
white boy.
160
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,022
You gimme
the goodest nut.
161
00:05:57,022 --> 00:05:59,775
And now you gonna
gimme that butt nut.
162
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:01,777
Oh, come on,
white boy. Goddamn.
163
00:06:01,777 --> 00:06:04,363
Gimme that
balloon knot butt nut!
164
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,407
Gimme that big boy nut!
165
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,700
Oh, shit!
166
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:08,743
I'ma nut again!
167
00:06:11,411 --> 00:06:12,914
You know what, boys,
168
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,375
I think
this might be it.
What?
169
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,918
Chicken butt.
Chicken nut.
170
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:18,169
It's pitch
fucking black
171
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,253
before Hockey Night
in Canada even starts.
172
00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:22,382
Winter comin'.
173
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,258
Omar comin.'
Yeah.
174
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,469
I think it's time
to put away
the wife beaters
175
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,178
and get out
the block heaters.
176
00:06:28,178 --> 00:06:29,721
It's time
to put away
your swimsuits
177
00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,474
and get out
yer snow boots.
178
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,724
Time to put away
the hoses
179
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:34,519
and prepare
for the runny noses.
180
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,188
Less parks,
more parkas.
181
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,981
Less lakes,
more flakes.
182
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,733
You are white,
183
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,984
boy.
Hmm?
184
00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:43,945
You look like
you've seen
a ghost.
185
00:06:44,486 --> 00:06:45,695
I've seen...
186
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,489
things.
187
00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:48,907
Penny for your thoughts?
188
00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:51,577
They don't make
pennies anymore.
Did you know that?
189
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,829
If you stick
a penny
up your ass
190
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,871
and it comes out green,
it means you're sick.
191
00:06:54,871 --> 00:06:56,248
Did you know that?
192
00:06:56,248 --> 00:06:58,250
I know that if you're
sticking a penny
up your ass,
193
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,960
you're already
sick, Dary.
194
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,046
Everybody knows that.
195
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,173
What did you see, Dan?
196
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:09,428
I'm not sure
I'm comfortables
197
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:10,721
discussing thats
in this...
198
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:12,890
settings.
199
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:14,683
Oh, come on,
Dan, nut up.
200
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,060
Such a pansy.
201
00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,229
Where did you see it?
202
00:07:20,897 --> 00:07:23,317
A website.
It's porn.
203
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,027
How did you know
that it was porns?
All I said was...
204
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,238
What are we talking here?
Creampie? Hentai?
205
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,197
Guy on guy?
I'm uncomfortables.
206
00:07:29,197 --> 00:07:31,241
Come on, Dan.
We're all friends here.
207
00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:33,452
That's a stretch.
208
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:36,246
Don't say stretch.
209
00:07:36,246 --> 00:07:38,291
Now, shall we agree
to check the box
210
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,666
henceforth agreeing
to the terms
211
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:41,960
and conditions
of this discussion?
212
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,003
Yup.
213
00:07:43,003 --> 00:07:44,921
Dan, begin.
214
00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:57,392
Well...
Fuckin' christ. Tick-tock.
215
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,229
There was a mans.
216
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:04,192
And...
217
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,861
And a womans.
Race?
218
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:07,986
I think this is
one of those things
219
00:08:07,986 --> 00:08:09,363
you're supposed to take
slow and steady.
220
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,284
I can't. No.
221
00:08:16,870 --> 00:08:18,413
Do we just watch it?
222
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,083
Yeah.
223
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,216
Hey, boys.
Hey...
224
00:08:29,216 --> 00:08:30,759
Mia.
Mia!
225
00:08:30,759 --> 00:08:32,094
Sofia.
Sofia!
226
00:08:32,594 --> 00:08:33,720
Mia-Sofia.
227
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,348
Mia-So...
228
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,516
Horny?
229
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,017
Good one.
Haven't heard it before.
230
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,977
Aw. Mia-so sorry.
231
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,436
Not sure
that's PC, buddy.
232
00:08:41,436 --> 00:08:43,104
How's the team looking
this year, boys?
233
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:45,565
Well, the Irish folded
last season, so...
234
00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:47,109
We're not
on a team.
235
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,320
So, you're not
hockey players?
236
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,695
Well, technically...
237
00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:53,657
Not at the moment. Why?
238
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:55,117
Girls love
hockey players, boys.
239
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:57,994
Babe.
240
00:08:57,994 --> 00:09:00,163
Oh, snipe.
241
00:09:00,163 --> 00:09:02,999
Oh, Bonnie McMurray.
242
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,043
Sup?
You good?
243
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:07,046
Meh.
Are you serious?
244
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,756
Meh.
Are you cereal?
245
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,715
Meh.
She's seri-dog.
246
00:09:10,715 --> 00:09:11,801
She's Syria.
247
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:14,052
Why just meh?
248
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,972
My little brother's playing
junior out west this year.
249
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,556
Are you
Cersei Lannister?
He left this morning.
250
00:09:18,556 --> 00:09:20,350
Well, maybe he'll have
a sick billet brother
251
00:09:20,350 --> 00:09:21,768
to take him
under his wing
or something.
252
00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:24,312
Maybe he'll have
a sweet billet sister
to take him...
253
00:09:24,312 --> 00:09:25,605
down.
Yeah.
254
00:09:25,605 --> 00:09:27,108
I'm not worried.
No?
255
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,651
He'll be fine.
Yeah?
256
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,444
Girls love
hockey players, boys.
257
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:32,530
Point and proof.
258
00:09:35,657 --> 00:09:37,285
Do you miss it, buddy?
259
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,411
The game?
I miss it, bro.
260
00:09:39,411 --> 00:09:40,495
Do you
miss it, buddy?
261
00:09:40,495 --> 00:09:41,788
I miss it, bro.
262
00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:43,833
Do you miss it, buddy?
I miss it, bro.
263
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,299
Babes.
264
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,593
Oh my God,
white boy. Goddamn!
265
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,761
You give me
the epicest nut.
266
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:58,973
You been eatin' that pineapple,
white boy. Goddamn.
267
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,309
I'ma taste
the tuttiest-fruitiest nut.
268
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:07,522
I've seen that one.
269
00:10:07,522 --> 00:10:08,608
Same.
Stewart.
270
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,026
Me too.
271
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,444
Yeah, I've seen her
in a bunch of things.
272
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,778
I've seen a bunch
of things in her.
273
00:10:13,778 --> 00:10:15,196
Wayne?
I'm not obligated
274
00:10:15,196 --> 00:10:16,282
to disclose
that information.
275
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,532
Did you nut?
276
00:10:17,532 --> 00:10:19,118
Hmm?
White boy.
277
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,286
Gail!
278
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,494
He nutted.
279
00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:23,330
Righteous.
Stewart.
280
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,583
I feels exposed.
281
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:29,045
Kind of a curious word,
nut, for...
282
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,253
Jizz?
Penis Colada?
283
00:10:30,253 --> 00:10:32,131
White gold?
Go on skeet?
284
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,382
Nard Nectar.
285
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:35,301
Groin Gravy.
Porn syrup.
286
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,969
I get a kick out
of how she attaches
287
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,595
food to the...
Nut?
288
00:10:38,595 --> 00:10:42,141
Yeah, like that's what
the dude giving her
the nut just ate
289
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,435
and that's what
his nut tastes like.
290
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:45,643
It's like, come on,
291
00:10:45,643 --> 00:10:47,104
white boy, gimme some
292
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,858
of that brown butter
pumpkin gnocchi nut.
293
00:10:50,858 --> 00:10:52,151
Yeah, come on,
gimme some
294
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,488
of that garlic soy
baby bok choy nut.
295
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:59,657
Oh, yeah, gimme some
of that chocolate peanut
butter corn pop nut.
296
00:10:59,657 --> 00:11:03,661
Oh, yeah. Gimme some
of that cinnamon
Dunkaroos nut.
297
00:11:03,661 --> 00:11:08,084
Oh, yeah. Gimme some
of that spicy
unagi nigiri nut
298
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,252
with, like,
epic deliciousness.
299
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,128
Goddamn, boy!
300
00:11:12,128 --> 00:11:14,839
I ain't never had
a nut so epic!
301
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:18,469
Gimme some
of that intense
dill pickle Dorito nut.
302
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,513
Gimme some
of that gluten-free
artisanal brie nut.
303
00:11:21,513 --> 00:11:26,435
Oh, gimme some
of that papadum
pork vindaloo nut.
304
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:30,605
Mm, gimme some
of that scallion spinach
spanakopita nut.
305
00:11:30,605 --> 00:11:34,192
Gimme some of that nut
with the freshest ingredients.
306
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:35,610
Yeah.
Safe to say
307
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,030
everyone gets
a kick out of it,
Dan.
308
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,532
I just feels
compromised.
Well, you shouldn't.
309
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:42,868
Yeah, Dan, everyone
watches porn.
310
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,786
Yeah, Dan,
everyone watches porn.
311
00:11:44,786 --> 00:11:46,872
Right, Wayne?
Not gonna bite.
312
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:48,958
Well, it's kinda like
a birth right there,
good buddy.
313
00:11:51,459 --> 00:11:52,836
Whats you guys watch?
314
00:11:58,508 --> 00:11:59,926
What do you miss
about it most, buddy?
315
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,429
The game?
The game.
316
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,347
Babes.
What do you miss most about it?
317
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,391
Snipes.
Tyson?
318
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,059
Rockets.
Joint boy?
319
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,143
Broads.
320
00:12:09,018 --> 00:12:10,604
Okay. Um.
321
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,189
What do you miss
second most about it?
322
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:13,690
Goin' cheese.
Goin' cheddar cheese.
323
00:12:13,690 --> 00:12:15,609
Goin' top cheddar cheese.
Goin' Chuck-E-cheese.
324
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:17,194
Yeah? You miss goin'
Cheesecake Factory?
325
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:18,528
Love me some
Monterey Jack.
326
00:12:18,528 --> 00:12:19,738
Love goin'
smoked Gouda.
327
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,865
Love me some
fresh truffle Bay swiss.
328
00:12:21,865 --> 00:12:24,368
Love goin' seven herb
probiotic provolone.
329
00:12:24,368 --> 00:12:25,743
Who doesn't love
rippin' Babybel?
330
00:12:25,743 --> 00:12:28,080
We should be rippin'
some nice stinky Limburger.
331
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,956
We should be
rippin' kosher
artisan parmesan.
332
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:32,251
We should be rippin'
peak ripe goat brie.
333
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,335
We should
be rippin'
acid cut Feta.
334
00:12:34,335 --> 00:12:36,421
You should be rippin'
melted down Kraft Singles.
335
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:39,966
We should be rippin'
some pasty closed curd
Cream Havarti.
336
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,719
We should be rippin'
runny French
raw milk queso.
337
00:12:42,719 --> 00:12:45,638
We should be rippin'
extra strong oxidized
Alpine Asiago.
338
00:12:45,638 --> 00:12:48,642
We should be
rippin' barnyardy
Gorgonzola.
339
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,768
You guys talkin'
about what I think
you're talkin' about?
340
00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:53,939
Agreed. We should
be rippin' briney bloomy
341
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:56,484
surface ripened
silky rind
342
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,402
Butterfat blended
Bocconcini.
343
00:12:59,402 --> 00:13:01,113
Animal welfare
approved.
344
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:07,744
Oh, Daddy!
345
00:13:08,661 --> 00:13:10,413
Daddy, oh!
346
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:13,083
Daddy, oh,
Daddy, oh!
347
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,460
This is fuckin' weird, Dary.
You're fuckin' weird, Dary.
348
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:17,713
What? How is
that any more
weird than...
349
00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:21,550
Oh, yeah, gimme
some of that Denny's
Grand Slam
350
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:25,679
with extra
sausage link nut?
351
00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,306
She keeps
callsing him daddy.
352
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,600
No, she isn't.
She's calling him
dee-yaddy.
353
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,685
No, she isn't.
She's calling him
D-yaaddy!
354
00:13:32,685 --> 00:13:35,064
That is fuckin' weird,
Dary, 'cause you're
fuckin' weird, Dary.
355
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,315
It's dad porn.
356
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,775
This porn is so dad
it came home
357
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,359
on lunch break
to play Golden Eye.
358
00:13:39,359 --> 00:13:41,320
This porn is so dad
it's in the driveway
359
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,780
checking
my tire pressure.
360
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:44,532
This porn is so dad
361
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,825
it farted and then asked
who sat on the duck.
362
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,201
This porn is so dad
363
00:13:48,201 --> 00:13:49,536
Joe Walsh
gets a pass
364
00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:51,705
'cause he wrote
Funk 49.
365
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:52,915
This porn is so dad
366
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,084
it's got a subscription
to Golfer's Digest.
367
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,167
But I ask again,
368
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,835
how is it any more
weird than...
369
00:13:57,835 --> 00:13:59,546
ooh, yeah, gimme some
370
00:13:59,546 --> 00:14:05,844
of that Chuck Hughes
extra spicy jerk
crab nut?
371
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,847
This porn is so dad
it took in a matinees
372
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,389
while mom
was out shopping,
373
00:14:09,389 --> 00:14:11,849
but it's fuckin' weird, Dary.
You're fuckin' weird, Dary.
374
00:14:11,849 --> 00:14:15,061
Dan, it's not
actually her dad,
you little pervert.
375
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:17,230
It isn't?
376
00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,358
No. It's just...
377
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,652
something girls say
in pornos sometimes.
378
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,612
Similar to how dudes
call girls mami.
379
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,155
Oh yeah, papi.
380
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:26,532
Are you
my dee-yaddy?
381
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,367
They call me
big dee-yad.
382
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,201
Oye Papi.
383
00:14:30,201 --> 00:14:31,829
Come on, mami.
384
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,667
Wait! I got one.
385
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:39,295
Wanna see it?
386
00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:43,883
What else
do you miss, boys?
Love rackin' geno's.
387
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,050
Love rackin' tucks.
388
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,051
But rackin' apples
pads the stats.
389
00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,137
Gotta pad the statski's.
390
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,555
The legend
of Johnny Apple Seed.
391
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,723
Rackin' Fiona Apples?
392
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,099
Rackin Christina Applegate's.
393
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,182
Rackin' apple fritters.
394
00:14:53,182 --> 00:14:54,602
Rackin' up
a McIntosh.
395
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,604
Rack up
a Golden Delicious.
Rack up a Cortland.
396
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,147
Rackin' up
a Granny Smith.
397
00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,565
Sauce me a Gala.
398
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,983
I'll sauce you
a Fuji.
399
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,234
I'll sauce you an Empire.
I'll sauce ya a Jonagold.
400
00:15:03,234 --> 00:15:04,402
Love the sauce, boys.
401
00:15:04,402 --> 00:15:05,820
I'll sauce ya
a Hollandaise.
402
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:06,906
Sauce me
a salad dressing.
403
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,239
I'll sauce ya
a mushroom gravy.
404
00:15:08,239 --> 00:15:09,617
I'll sauce you
a Neapolitan Ragu.
405
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,826
I'll sauce ya
a Bearnaise
bolognese.
406
00:15:11,826 --> 00:15:14,079
I'll sauce ya
a Chimichurri
Sriracha Salsa.
407
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,583
Or a nice Tonkatsu sauce
picante, boys. Gimme it
right now.
408
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:19,667
Reilly, don't wanna
single anyone out here,
409
00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:20,920
but the flow is suffering.
410
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,588
Just toss that salad
in the crisper, bro.
411
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,921
Gotta get
that romaine flowin'.
412
00:15:23,921 --> 00:15:25,174
I gotta get
that Kale goin'.
413
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,425
Shake out
the arugula.
414
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,344
Let's see that
green leaf lettuce
of old.
415
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,054
You know I like
those leaves, buddy.
416
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,722
Must be fuckin' nice.
417
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,266
Boys, you know
what I might miss
the most though?
418
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,725
Taking the piss
out of schmelts.
419
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:37,644
Love giving rookies
the gears.
420
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:39,812
Like, that schmelt?
421
00:15:42,398 --> 00:15:47,278
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
422
00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:48,948
What are we watching?
423
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,950
Some of that
good fuckin'.
424
00:15:54,118 --> 00:15:56,330
That was
the fakest porn scream
425
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,498
I've ever heard.
426
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,916
What was fake about it?
427
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,667
You could put
that scream
next to Tarzan
428
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:02,628
in the jungle
and you wouldn't
know the difference.
429
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:03,963
Yeah, I would.
It sounded
430
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,881
like she was
being tortured.
431
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:07,383
Never had one
like that?
432
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,133
I'm not obligated
to disclose
433
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,719
that information.
Thank you, Gailer.
434
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,012
No one has.
435
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:14,013
Never had a horn
that big then.
436
00:16:14,013 --> 00:16:15,224
Don't answer that.
I mean,
437
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,142
Stewart's that big
and I've...
Roald!
438
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,810
Stewart.
Okay. Let's get real here.
439
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,354
It's not that big.
440
00:16:21,979 --> 00:16:23,648
Is it?
It is.
441
00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:24,984
Roald.
Well, Stewart,
442
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,151
there was
that one time where
443
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:27,485
he got an erection,
it was so big,
444
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:28,988
and so long
445
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,781
that, uh, he actually
passed out
for several hours.
446
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,907
Sup, skid.
447
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,867
I'm gonna go
cold rocks
a hot piss.
448
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:38,705
And I heard
Gae climax like that
several times.
449
00:16:38,705 --> 00:16:41,541
My Gae sex is none
of anyone's business.
450
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:44,043
Your Gae sex?
Fine.
451
00:16:44,043 --> 00:16:45,963
Gae sex filled me up
inside, okay?
452
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,674
Does it?
Yes.
453
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,885
After Gae sex,
there is no other sex.
Are you happy?
454
00:16:51,885 --> 00:16:53,012
But Gae sex
was different
455
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,554
than all the other sex
you'd had then?
456
00:16:54,554 --> 00:16:56,764
Gae sex is
the best of all sex.
457
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,684
And I miss it.
458
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,519
Would you go
as far as to say
Gae sex was
459
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,478
kind of your own
personal awakening?
460
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:04,606
Gae sex made me feel
something deep.
461
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,734
Deep inside of me.
462
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,361
There, I said it!
463
00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:11,989
It's as though
my whole life
was meaningless
464
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,032
before I discovered
Gae sex.
465
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,449
Are you satisfied?
Stewart.
466
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:16,618
Gae sex made me feel pride.
467
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,494
Gae sex made me feel
like He-Man.
468
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:21,497
Must you torture me
with these reflections?
469
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,501
Ever since she left,
470
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,253
all I think about
is Gae sex.
471
00:17:27,503 --> 00:17:29,839
I dream about it.
Life altering then, eh?
472
00:17:29,839 --> 00:17:31,257
Earth shattering.
473
00:17:31,257 --> 00:17:32,926
Earth shattering
gay sex.
474
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,928
You know, Stewart,
just because
this gay got away
475
00:17:35,928 --> 00:17:37,138
doesn't mean
that there aren't
476
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:39,390
a lot of other Gae's
out there.
477
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:41,310
Almost certainly.
Find yourself a Gae.
478
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,436
Then you'll know
what I mean.
479
00:17:44,061 --> 00:17:44,980
Okay.
480
00:17:45,813 --> 00:17:47,107
Stewart.
Roald.
481
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,650
Are you done
talking about sex
482
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,570
with your ex-girlfriend
483
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,781
who happens
to be named Gae?
484
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,199
I don't
even know anymore.
485
00:17:56,199 --> 00:17:58,452
Because we've watched
a lot of porn today.
486
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:02,080
But we haven't watched
any gay porn,
487
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,456
so I was thinking...
Uh, Roald,
488
00:18:03,456 --> 00:18:05,666
we're all for you
living your best life, but...
489
00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:08,044
All for you
tastin' the rainbow,
bud, but...
490
00:18:08,044 --> 00:18:10,254
All for you living
your life largely,
491
00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:11,380
but...
In.
492
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,840
Wanna watch a movie?
'Kay.
493
00:18:12,965 --> 00:18:14,801
You wanna play
a game of Crib?
'Kay.
494
00:18:18,429 --> 00:18:19,680
Stewart?
495
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,349
All of this Gae sex talk.
496
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,310
I'm defeated.
497
00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:25,311
Rips?
498
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,647
Absolutely.
499
00:18:27,647 --> 00:18:29,983
See you and your
big fuckin' dick later.
500
00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:31,734
What's up, schmelt?
501
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,278
Sup, phezzy?
Boys.
502
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,780
Wait, you're
on a team
this year?
503
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,948
Yeah. Got picked up
by a senior triple A team
504
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,699
in the city
after the Irish folded.
505
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,118
You?
506
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,119
How the fuck
are you on a team
and we're not?
507
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,290
I dunno. Maybe wanna
get on that though 'cause...
508
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,083
Girls love
hockey players, boys.
509
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:54,590
Point and proof. Chins up.
I'll buy you a beer.
510
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:57,927
Oh. Bonnie McMurray.
511
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,980
Feeling a little better
about what turns you on
512
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,564
after hours,
big fella?
513
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,316
I am, Gailer.
514
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,318
I've realized that
what we watch
in our mes time
515
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:15,279
is no one's business
but our owns and...
516
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,239
nots to be agreed upon
by everybodys.
517
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,407
No place
for the state
518
00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,408
in the bedrooms
of the nation.
519
00:19:20,408 --> 00:19:22,578
Trudeau?
True dat.
520
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,288
To each his
or her own, cowboy.
521
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:30,085
You wanna
get that nut?
522
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,879
White boy.
36505
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