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1
00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,552
Your pals found a package
2
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,679
that belonged
to a coupla Degens
the other day.
3
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:17,392
You’re wrong, you’re wrong
you’re wrong.
Hey!
4
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,852
Where was it?
Dollar Store parking lot.
5
00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:21,187
Tell him whose it was.
6
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,688
Soupy Campbell’s
and Spider Creemanse’s.
7
00:00:22,688 --> 00:00:24,023
Argh.
8
00:00:24,023 --> 00:00:25,441
Well, did you open it?
9
00:00:25,441 --> 00:00:27,109
Nope. Popped in right back
in the mailbox. Proper thing.
10
00:00:27,109 --> 00:00:28,694
Shoulda opened it.
11
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,362
That just didn’t feels right
on accounts that it wasn’t ours.
12
00:00:30,362 --> 00:00:33,115
Well, by the rules
of ’finders keepers,’
it was yours.
13
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,242
So you shoulda opened it.
14
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,868
Yeah, it was our guyses
by the rights.
15
00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:37,578
I begs to differ.
16
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,371
Even though we founds it,
it was still technically
their guyses.
17
00:00:39,371 --> 00:00:41,374
It was yours, fair and square.
18
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,001
With all dues respects,
Miss Katys,
19
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,879
it was them fellowses,
just landed in our guyses
hands brieflys.
20
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,713
Hmm, I’m with Katy.
21
00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:49,548
It was our guyses.
22
00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:51,925
And now we’ll never know
what was in Soupy’s
and Spider’s package.
23
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,093
That’s what I said.
24
00:00:53,093 --> 00:00:54,553
Looks, I know what
you’re thinking.
25
00:00:54,553 --> 00:00:56,848
You’re thinking,
"You guyses
let yer consciences
26
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,099
"get in the way
of something that was
rightfully your guyses."
27
00:00:59,224 --> 00:01:01,101
And you might be right.
She’s right.
28
00:01:01,226 --> 00:01:03,062
Their guyses loss
is our guyses gain.
29
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:04,563
There’s something
not right here.
30
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:07,149
Not pertaining
to whose package
it was, but just...
31
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,902
like the English language
part of it
32
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,402
You guys keep saying,
"Your guyses,"
33
00:01:10,402 --> 00:01:13,363
and "Our guyses,"
and "Them fellowhases."
34
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:18,161
Okay, just, ’kay,
you know what, ’kay,
35
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,163
what say Katy and I
find a wallet.
36
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,122
Whose wallet is it?
37
00:01:22,122 --> 00:01:23,792
Yours and Katyses.
No.
38
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,253
Wayneses and Katy... ses.
39
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,130
It’s ours.
Correct.
40
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,631
Or Katy’s and mine.
41
00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,967
You know what, it kinda chaps
my ass more than just a wee bit
42
00:01:33,092 --> 00:01:35,053
when people use big words
to sound smart.
43
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:36,762
It’s far more smart
and efficient
44
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:37,931
to use small words.
45
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,973
Save your breath
for something more important,
46
00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:41,809
like chorin’ or toe curlin’.
47
00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:43,685
Hmm, especially toe curlin’.
48
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,271
You know, I thinks I know
what you’res insinuating
at here, Wayne.
49
00:01:46,271 --> 00:01:47,607
And I want you to know
I take great solstice
50
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,109
in working through all
the conflictions that come
51
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,485
from the King and Queens
language.
52
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,445
Shall I call you
an ambleance, Dan?
53
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,780
Or better yet, a whambleance?
54
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,324
The library has a lots
of choice literature
55
00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,867
to help through
your confliction, Dan.
56
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,118
Well, the lie-berry’s is full
of choice laterature.
57
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:01,328
Irregardlessly...
58
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,123
expresso.
59
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:07,669
Ooh, now that one’s so wrong,
it might as well be right.
60
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:08,878
In any event,
61
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,088
the decision on
what happens
to the package,
62
00:02:11,088 --> 00:02:12,965
is Darylses,
and Danses,
63
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,926
not mine and Katyses.
64
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,469
But you did
the right thing, Dan.
65
00:02:17,469 --> 00:02:19,848
Well, thank you.
I appreciate yer support.
66
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:21,766
Sssss.
67
00:02:23,517 --> 00:02:24,810
Hey, have you
ever seen that movie,
68
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:26,437
There’s Something About Mary?
69
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:29,648
Bet you didn’t know
they’re making a Canadian
version. Yeah.
70
00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:31,651
It’s gonna be called,
There’s Something About Marie.
71
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:47,207
Guys by applause,
who agrees with me on this.
72
00:02:47,207 --> 00:02:49,127
Women are like cats.
73
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,212
Men are like dogs, right?
74
00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:54,506
Oh, yeah, case in point.
75
00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:56,342
There’s your waitress, everyone.
76
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,260
Meow.
77
00:02:58,385 --> 00:02:59,720
Yeah, Bonnie.
78
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,181
Don’t forget the tip.
79
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,141
Actually, you should give her
more than just the tip,
80
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,350
tip her on her back
and smash her, yeah!
81
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:06,518
Oy!
82
00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,980
How about I tip you
on your back and smash you
83
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,189
with a rusty rebar,
84
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,523
until you apologize
to my sister,
85
00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:13,151
you shitty fuckin’ citiot.
86
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,736
I’ll smash you too
that’ all I know.
87
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,529
Okay, what’s your problem
tighty-whitey?
88
00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:21,326
Jeez, it’s like Mr. Clean
shopped at Baby Gap, right?
89
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,577
You’re gonna be shopping
for a new suit at the morgue
90
00:03:23,577 --> 00:03:26,331
unless you take a log
off that fire, pussy!
91
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,834
Yeah, all right, settle down,
Olaf from Frozen.
92
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,046
You forget that shirt
in the dryer for three years
93
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,214
and now, it’s cutting off
all the oxygen to your brain.
94
00:03:36,214 --> 00:03:37,926
Settle down,
you can breathe.
95
00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,552
Get the fuck
of the stage.
96
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,303
Yeah.
97
00:03:41,303 --> 00:03:42,387
Hey, hey, okay,
98
00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:43,973
here’s one for ya, uh...
99
00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:47,225
why did the chicken cross
the road?
Why?
100
00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:49,062
To get the fuck out
of Letterkenny.
101
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,563
This place fuckin’ sucks!
102
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,356
Boo.
103
00:03:52,356 --> 00:03:55,235
Oh, yeah. Nice. What am
I suddenly in LetterKenya?
104
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,361
You guys run fast.
105
00:03:57,361 --> 00:03:58,946
Wow, I thought you guys
would appreciate that.
106
00:03:58,946 --> 00:04:00,406
It’s racist,
just like you.
107
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,325
Okay! Thanks very much,
Letterkenny.
108
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:06,411
This has been
the exact opposite of fun.
109
00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:08,373
Too bad the show wasn’t
in Betterkenny,
110
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,125
’cause you guys
are the worst audience ever!
111
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:14,253
No, you suck.
112
00:04:14,253 --> 00:04:16,380
Here’s some chicken,
funny man.
113
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,882
What the fuck?
114
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,842
This is a real place.
You think this is easy?
115
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:22,844
Think it’s so fuckin’ easy.
Why don’t you
try it yourselves?
116
00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:27,808
What’s up boys?
117
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:29,185
What’s up, tank top?
118
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,811
Aw, looks like you guys
could use a bit of a tune-up.
119
00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:33,022
Yeah, summer shape
is slip sliding away, boys.
120
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,606
You’re letting yourselves go
a little bit, eh?
121
00:04:34,606 --> 00:04:36,067
Getting ready
for the SAG awards?
122
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:38,402
Hmm, you two are going
to be the rollsiest, pollsiest,
123
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,279
Letterkenny Irish
ever seen boys.
124
00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,282
Rollsiest of
the pollsiest, ferda.
125
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,616
What are you
fuckin’ blind?
126
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,368
The fuck are you smoking boys?
127
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,911
Looks like you buys
can use some cross-fit.
128
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,036
That’s squat’s up.
129
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:50,664
Wait, you dick farmers
work here, now?
130
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,582
Oh, more like
Celebrity Endorsers.
131
00:04:52,582 --> 00:04:54,294
Get the Celebrity Endorphins
going.
132
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,503
Celebrity Enforcers.
Uppin’ memberships,
133
00:04:56,503 --> 00:04:57,964
droppin’ shoulder dips.
134
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,298
Gettin’ yolked boys?
135
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:00,258
You guys want a free trial?
136
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,926
We put the abs in
absolutely free.
137
00:05:02,926 --> 00:05:05,471
Full body workout,
abso-glutely, bro.
138
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,556
Crunch and munch, boys.
139
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,015
Crunch then brunch, boys.
140
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:09,433
Play the cards
you’re dealt.
141
00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:11,310
Chuckin’ tires
and muscle fires, boys.
142
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,478
It’a cardio day.
143
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,479
Fuck cardio.
144
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,481
Why would we get
training from you?
145
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:16,858
You look like
our before pictures.
146
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,900
Squat’s the matter,
are you chicken?
147
00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:27,618
Wayne...
How’r you...
148
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,079
We’re good, man.
Not so bad.
149
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,455
Look, I’m getting real sick...
One time...
150
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,166
You go...
151
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,000
Get after it.
All right. Ahem.
152
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,628
The lovely Mrs. McMurray and I
have been doing some very
serious thinking.
153
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:41,298
Maybe we should
try it ourselves.
154
00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:42,383
Stand up comedy?
155
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:43,342
Or something similar.
156
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,551
Well, to be fair...
157
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:45,969
To be fair...
158
00:05:45,969 --> 00:05:51,267
To be fair.
159
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,520
To be fair, it’s likely
pretty tough sledding up there,
for a stand-up comedian.
160
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,022
That comedian was a joke.
161
00:05:57,647 --> 00:05:59,484
Well that’s a good one,
big hos.
162
00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,443
Thank yous.
Let me put it
this way, okay,
163
00:06:01,568 --> 00:06:04,988
I was this close to making
that stand-up comic
164
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,991
a lie-down comic.
165
00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:08,534
I don’t get it.
166
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,868
Well, I’m just saying that
167
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:12,121
I was thinking about
whoopin’ his ass
168
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:13,539
and so I imagined
169
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:15,541
he would have been
lying down had I done that.
170
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,918
Well, see there you go,
point and proof
171
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,878
you’re up there trying
to be funny like a nut sack,
172
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,671
if nobody gets your shit,
you’re hooped like him.
173
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,548
So...
So can confirm it’s pretty
tough sleddin’ up there
174
00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:25,092
for a stand-up comedian.
175
00:06:25,092 --> 00:06:26,176
Ah, okay. I get it.
176
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,303
Could use a little work.
177
00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:30,347
Point for test-driving it
though.
178
00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:31,724
In any event...
In any event...
179
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:34,851
In any event, we should
host our own talent show.
180
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:36,561
That’s not a bad idea.
181
00:06:36,561 --> 00:06:38,106
How’re we gonna get
the word out?
182
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,149
Ah, you can put it
on your fuckin’ Facebooks, likely.
183
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:43,361
And whos will be preforming
at this events?
184
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,486
Who wouldn’t,
that’s the question.
185
00:06:44,611 --> 00:06:46,322
The fuck else is there
to do around here.
186
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,825
Jimmy Dickens should host.
So we just need judges
and a few more acts.
187
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,411
Well, I’ll judge
and so will he.
Why?
188
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,745
Born to judge, bud.
189
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,414
All right.
There’s our judges.
190
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,914
Now we just need
a few more acts.
191
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:58,334
Would you be needing
a joke smith for this
esteems affair?
192
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,837
’Cause I’ve always
wanted to try my hand
at stands ups comedy.
193
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:04,923
And I’ve often wondered
how those courageous souls
makes it work.
194
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:07,176
Salt of the earth people,
stand up comedians.
195
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,846
For the most part.
You’re in.
196
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,597
That leaves you, Daryl.
197
00:07:12,597 --> 00:07:16,476
Got any special talent
you’d like to share
with the class?
198
00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:18,563
Oh, I don’t know.
199
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,272
I’d be half scared
to get up there.
200
00:07:20,272 --> 00:07:22,649
That means you’d
be half excited too.
201
00:07:22,649 --> 00:07:24,609
Well, we could make first prize
202
00:07:24,609 --> 00:07:28,447
$100 bar tab at MoDean’s
if that colors the water
any different for you.
203
00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:29,489
He’s in.
204
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:34,786
Good ’nuff.
Good ’nuff.
205
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:35,830
Good stuff.
206
00:07:41,126 --> 00:07:42,628
Wayne?
Dary?
207
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,005
What’d you get me into?
208
00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,466
It’s time to get back
on the horse, bud.
Oh, no.
209
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,633
No, I took that horse out
the back side of the barn.
210
00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,469
Put her down for good.
And for good reason.
211
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:52,387
Are you forgettin’ where you
come from?
212
00:07:52,387 --> 00:07:54,431
’Cause it sounds to me
like you’re forgettin’
where you come from.
213
00:07:54,431 --> 00:07:55,474
Are you forgettin’ your roots?
214
00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:58,310
Your line-dancing lineage
is legendary.
215
00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,479
You will find
no finer liners, Dary.
216
00:08:00,479 --> 00:08:01,731
Aunt Doreen made it
to sectionals.
217
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,024
I was not given that gift.
218
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,734
Aunt Doreen could
have gone to provincials.
219
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,402
Some say she could have
gone to regionals.
220
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,488
If she had lived
in the States, she would
have gone to state.
221
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,488
Oh, how she’d
have won state.
222
00:08:10,488 --> 00:08:11,991
She’d a took state.
223
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,450
If it hadn’t have been for...
She didn’t have the...
224
00:08:13,450 --> 00:08:16,204
If it weren’t for the...
...bum leg.
225
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,330
Buerger’s disease.
226
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,165
Was it Buerger’s?
Yes.
227
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,666
Buergers.
228
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,584
Didn’t she get treated
at the Mayo Clinic?
Yes.
229
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:24,545
She got her Buerger’s
treated with mayo.
230
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,756
Did she do that to ketchup
to the competition?
231
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,508
Did she ketchup?
Yes.
232
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,511
And despite her Buerger’s,
233
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,094
she never beefed with anyone.
234
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,680
She relished a challenge.
235
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,556
That was a challenge
that she relished.
236
00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:38,099
Mustard up the courage.
237
00:08:38,225 --> 00:08:39,727
She worked her buns off.
238
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,686
She worked the buns
off her Buergers.
239
00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:45,315
No cheesy moves.
Lettuce all be inspired by her.
240
00:08:45,315 --> 00:08:47,527
She lettuce.
No hot-dogging.
241
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,652
Just Beurgers.
242
00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:50,028
The point is,
243
00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,863
if Aunt Doreen can do
all that with a gouty gam,
244
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:54,157
you sure as shit
can line dance in Letterkenny.
245
00:08:54,157 --> 00:08:55,660
I guess you’re right.
246
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,661
If Aunt Doreen can do it
with a shitty stick,
247
00:08:57,661 --> 00:09:00,540
then I can probably get up
on stage at the talent show
248
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,541
for Aunt Doreen.
The thing is, I just
249
00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:05,253
wished I had
your guyses
confidence.
250
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:07,296
Or Fred Astaire’s.
251
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,674
es.
252
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,551
Hey, guys,
I was over at Gailers.
How’s Gailer?
253
00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,679
You know, usual.
Upbeat and horny.
254
00:09:16,263 --> 00:09:18,224
Who’s your guys favorite
stand up comedians?
255
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,392
Mark Forward.
256
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,268
Dave Chappelle.
Steven Wright.
257
00:09:21,268 --> 00:09:22,644
Why?
Who’s yours?
258
00:09:22,644 --> 00:09:24,897
Oh, big fella.
Hell of a storyteller.
259
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,691
Handsome as the day
is long. Can’t remember
his name though.
260
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,234
Good guy?
Great guy.
261
00:09:29,234 --> 00:09:31,403
I’m glad to hear
he’s a good guy, at least.
Anywho...
262
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:34,198
I was wondering if I could
get your guyses opinions
on something.
263
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:36,742
Okay.
I’ve been working on
my stand up act.
264
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,578
My style’s going to be
observationals comedy.
265
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,747
Pretty much I’m just going
to make observations about
days-to-day life.
266
00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,583
You wants to hear one?
Sure.
267
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,001
All right.
268
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,877
Did yous ever notice
269
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,756
when you goes
to the gas station
and there’s a line up
270
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,341
you always picks
which vehicles
to waits behind and,
271
00:09:53,466 --> 00:09:55,761
and the other fellas whats
you didn’t get behind
272
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,430
is always done first?
273
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,556
Always happens every time.
274
00:09:59,639 --> 00:10:00,682
Kind of makes a fella wonder.
275
00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,477
Don’t it?
276
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:06,272
Yeah, that’s
a choice observation,
Squirrely Dan.
277
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,648
Yeah, that happens sometimes.
278
00:10:08,648 --> 00:10:09,941
All right. All right.
279
00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:13,653
Let me try’s another one.
Did you ever notice
280
00:10:13,653 --> 00:10:17,782
you’re at the grocery store
and you picks a cart what
with to do shopping with,
281
00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:20,953
you always seem to grabs
the one that got
the squeaky wheel.
282
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,788
It almost happens
every single time,
every time.
283
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:25,041
Kind of makes a fella wonder...
284
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:28,293
don’t it?
Yeah.
285
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:31,171
Yeah, I just needs to cook up
a few more of these,
and I’m in business.
286
00:10:31,296 --> 00:10:34,925
Yeah, yous never know.
287
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,719
You’re letting gravity
win these days, boys.
288
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:38,804
No more man cans.
No more puddin’ pecs.
289
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:39,805
No ifs, ands or guts.
290
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,681
So, let’s gut going.
291
00:10:41,681 --> 00:10:43,684
First things first,
you’re gonna
reach your arm up
292
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,102
as high as it will go
touch that ceiling.
293
00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:47,812
Higher than Ariana Grande
doing a Mariah Carey cover.
294
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:49,815
I told you, it’s cardio day.
295
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,359
Fuck cardio.
296
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,609
Goddamn it.
297
00:10:54,027 --> 00:10:55,863
Gotta crack a snappy
for the Winstagram, buddy.
298
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,698
Yeah, couple of pickies
for the chickies.
299
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,617
Gymstagram, bro.
300
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,285
Instapicks, instachicks.
301
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,161
Gotta provide people
with proof you’re
pressin’ pounds,
302
00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,830
otherwise
what’s the point?
Am I right?
303
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:17,426
Welcome Letterkenny,
to the first ever
Letterkenny Talent Show.
304
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:18,551
Round of Applause.
305
00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:23,014
How many people
are we looking at here?
306
00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:25,059
We got 20 little people
over here. We’re looking at
25, 25 little, lotta people
307
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,310
lookin’ away. Lookin’ 25,
we got 30 little people
over here.
308
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:29,522
Doop, dee, doop, dee, dee
doop do theme song.
309
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,690
Let’s check in with our judges
to see what they’re looking for.
310
00:11:32,690 --> 00:11:34,402
First up is Katy.
311
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:41,783
Hey, Jim, um...
312
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:45,204
You know, I guess I’m just
looking for something that
I’ve never seen before.
313
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,581
This is hour opportunity,
Letterkenny. Tonight it’s
your stage.
314
00:11:48,581 --> 00:11:52,210
Couldn’t have said it
better myself, if I tried,
5-6-7 times,
315
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,546
how about 8?
Okay, I’ll take 8.
How about 9 times?
316
00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:57,550
Now we’re looking at 10 times.
How many times should
I have tried before I died,
317
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,719
maybe 13.
318
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,847
Last up is Wayne.
What are you lookin to see
here, tonight, Wayne?
319
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,224
Don’t fuck it up, bud.
There you have it.
320
00:12:08,935 --> 00:12:11,397
Well, it’s time for
our first act of the night.
321
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,775
Here to perform a monologue
from her favorite movie,
322
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,319
Gladiator. It’s Gail.
323
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,701
I do apologize.
324
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,287
This is a monologue
from Gladiator,
325
00:12:27,287 --> 00:12:30,458
"XXX Glad-he-ate-her."
326
00:12:37,922 --> 00:12:40,884
Lingus, you barbarian.
327
00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:43,429
Let your Italian hands,
328
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,306
Rome all over my body.
329
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,644
You’re such a gifted orator.
330
00:12:52,854 --> 00:12:54,565
Unsheathe your sword.
331
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,984
I implore you.
332
00:12:57,817 --> 00:12:59,570
Spare me you dick-
333
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,613
tator.
334
00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:05,950
Oh, I’m about to Climaximus.
335
00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:07,994
Oh, oh, what
336
00:13:07,994 --> 00:13:12,123
we do in life echoes
in eterni-tittiees.
337
00:13:12,123 --> 00:13:13,626
Ah! Oh.
338
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:18,506
Well, that was bang on.
339
00:13:19,839 --> 00:13:21,050
Even better than the movie.
340
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:22,843
Thanks.
341
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:27,681
This one’s for you, Barbara.
342
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:41,528
♪ Love is a feelin’
343
00:13:44,864 --> 00:13:51,663
♪ That goes deeper with time
344
00:13:51,663 --> 00:13:55,209
♪ From the first whisper
In the morning ♪
345
00:13:59,754 --> 00:14:00,797
Want me to start over?
346
00:14:14,394 --> 00:14:17,522
Sneezus Christ,
Ebisneezer Scrooge!
347
00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:20,942
What! Somebody got a life
threatening dissneeze out there!
348
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,777
Huh?
349
00:14:22,902 --> 00:14:25,238
We finally got some class
up here after Gail’s little
strip sneeze
350
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:27,532
and then now look what happens!
351
00:14:27,532 --> 00:14:28,825
Look at it!
352
00:14:28,825 --> 00:14:31,536
God, am I speaking
Canton-sneeze up here!
353
00:14:31,536 --> 00:14:34,038
Do I need to get down
on my sneeze and beg?
354
00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,541
Huh? You take that garbage
355
00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:41,421
over-sneezeand order yourself
some Chi-sneeze cuisine,
356
00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:45,718
before I go Hercu-sneeze
up your asshole.
357
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,469
Carpi diem. Sneeze the day.
358
00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:50,763
Yes!
359
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,350
It’s fuckin’ embarrassing.
360
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,983
Now I know you all know
the Salty Treats.
361
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:04,069
We got together
and formed ourselves
a Christian post alt-rock
362
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,196
emo super band.
And we are called...
363
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,199
My Tattered Journal.
364
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,792
♪ I wanna be close to Christ
365
00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:24,131
♪ Why, n... why
366
00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:29,219
♪ I wanna be close to Christ
367
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,638
♪ And why...
368
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:34,016
♪ N’why...
369
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:36,768
Is he singin’...?
Yeah.
370
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:38,729
♪ Touch me...
371
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:41,315
♪ Is it Christ?
372
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,609
♪ Oh why?
373
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:47,488
♪ And I will touch me...
374
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,865
♪ Is it Christ?
375
00:15:51,783 --> 00:15:54,118
♪ Oh why? Oh, why?
376
00:15:54,118 --> 00:15:56,287
♪ Oh, why, oh why?
377
00:15:56,287 --> 00:15:59,624
♪ Oh, why, oh, why, oh, why? ♪
378
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:02,670
Cut.
379
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:04,796
Glen?
What?
380
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:08,716
I was just wondering,
where exactly do you want
Wayne to touch you?
381
00:16:08,841 --> 00:16:09,801
Where do I wan...
382
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:11,261
Where do I want
Wayne to touch...
383
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,680
My spirit.
384
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,931
What else would I mean?
385
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,766
Well...
Don’t answer that.
386
00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:00,852
What the actual fuck
was that Stewart?
387
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:04,439
Scream therapy juxtaposed
against self-expression
from the streets.
388
00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,524
You’ve just witnessed
the new genre of dance
389
00:17:06,524 --> 00:17:09,778
that’s about to slit through
the Saudi-Samoan, Estonian,
Scandinavian, Istanbullian
390
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:14,616
Sri Lankan, Swiss, Saharan,
Southern State sub underground
city streets!
391
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,409
It’s called...
392
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,289
...ache dancing.
393
00:17:22,081 --> 00:17:24,585
And now, for our second set.
394
00:17:33,926 --> 00:17:37,598
Oh, you’re a little
rascal, aren’t you, little girl.
395
00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:41,601
Oh, oh, am I in twouble Santa?
396
00:17:41,601 --> 00:17:45,062
I’ve been a really
good girl, this year.
397
00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:49,525
Uh, you’ve been
a naughty girl.
398
00:17:49,525 --> 00:17:51,736
You need a bare bum
spanking like this.
399
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,571
No! No.
yes, yes,
400
00:17:53,571 --> 00:17:57,158
you’ve been naughty.
You have been so naughty.
401
00:17:57,283 --> 00:18:00,244
You little thing.
402
00:18:00,244 --> 00:18:01,955
...and bury my jingle balls.
403
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,916
What the fuck, Wayne!
404
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,416
These costumes weren’t cheap.
405
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,836
Doing you a favor before
you had to get ’em dry cleaned.
406
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,589
Well, we’re still gonna
need ’em dry cleaned, don’t
you worry.
407
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,757
... in a little role-playing
isn’t it baby...
408
00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:20,099
Hi, snipers.
409
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,934
Who squat, when, where,
why, snippies?
410
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,268
Cardio day.
411
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,311
Fuck, cardio.
412
00:18:25,436 --> 00:18:27,272
So you think that
we could get
some training?
413
00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:29,942
Oh, for sure. The most
important thing
is to get a high angle.
414
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,109
It makes your eyes pop
and your eyebrow game
on point.
415
00:18:32,109 --> 00:18:34,320
You ladies
know your angles?
416
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,615
If you don’t provide people
with proof that you’re pressing
pounds, what’s the point?
417
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,368
I meant cross-fit training.
From them.
418
00:18:40,493 --> 00:18:42,579
I mean, yeah, sure,
if you want to start
with beginners.
419
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:44,831
Dip your toe
in the water
before you commit?
420
00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:46,291
Start soft, makes sense.
421
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,335
Those fellas will show
you the ropes, literally.
422
00:18:51,170 --> 00:18:52,673
More satisfied customers, buddy.
423
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,715
See what happens when
we work the celebrity
endorphins, buddy?
424
00:18:54,841 --> 00:18:56,301
Are you thinking
what I’m thinking?
425
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,802
Appies and ales,
wheelin’ some tails.
426
00:18:57,802 --> 00:18:59,762
You bet.
Ninja dust.
427
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,391
Oh, calm down, everybody.
Calm down.
428
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:07,478
Now did, did you ever notice...
429
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:11,108
lineups at the Dollar Store
is gettin’ longer. Like, I just
stopped in there to get
430
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,235
a candy bar the other day.
I’m stuck waitin’ three hours
behind Mrs. Henderson
431
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,820
buying a whole kitchen sink.
432
00:19:17,196 --> 00:19:18,240
It’s true.
433
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,574
Kinda makes a fella wonder.
434
00:19:22,243 --> 00:19:23,203
Don’t it?
435
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:26,874
Did you ever notice...
436
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,502
overalls don’t breathe
very good.
437
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,588
I get so hot out this summer
I’m afraid I’m gonna steam
438
00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:33,880
the wrinkles
out of my ball sack.
439
00:19:36,841 --> 00:19:37,967
Kinda makes a fella wonder.
440
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,346
I like when he does that.
441
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,139
Don’t it?
442
00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:45,266
Oh, and did yous ever notice,
443
00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:47,519
Glen over here
is wearing his glasses again.
444
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,103
What’s the matter
over there Glen?
445
00:19:49,228 --> 00:19:50,187
You got poor eyesights?
446
00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,898
Dan, I sure do.
447
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:54,984
Last winter, Gail got me Lasik,
but it didn’t take, so...
448
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,530
I didn’t say it was your fault.
449
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,947
I didn’t ask you
for your life story, Glens.
450
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:02,743
But it kinda makes
a fella wonder...
451
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,412
Don’t it?
452
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,915
Thank you everybody
that’s my time.
453
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,378
Judges, a few...
454
00:20:14,378 --> 00:20:17,214
a few thoughts on Dan’s act.
I thought it was good, good,
good, so good, we’re looking
455
00:20:17,214 --> 00:20:22,221
at great, so great, we’re
talking about unbelievable
making me laugh. Katy?
456
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,224
Well, it was observational,
as billed.
457
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,185
Funny, ’cause it’s true,
I guess.
458
00:20:28,935 --> 00:20:30,311
Overall, not s’bad.
459
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,438
Thank you, Miss. Katys.
I appreciates your assessment.
460
00:20:32,438 --> 00:20:34,316
Appreciate it.
461
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:36,025
Wayne.
Well...
462
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,070
Well, I liked it because
463
00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,822
what I see, I understand.
464
00:20:41,948 --> 00:20:43,951
Whereas everything else
I’ve seen today
465
00:20:44,909 --> 00:20:46,410
I don’t understand.
466
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:49,330
I guess that makes you
the fella to beat,
Squirrely Dan.
467
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,708
Hot dog.
468
00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,293
I don’t know
what that means,
it’s probably not this,
469
00:20:54,418 --> 00:20:55,628
but this was super easy.
470
00:20:55,628 --> 00:20:57,547
You do sinkers
and you tells people about it.
471
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:59,299
Have a good night.
Yay, for Dan.
472
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,676
Yay for Dan.
473
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:03,262
Time for our final act
at the Met this evening.
474
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:07,349
This gentlemen comes
from a long, long line
of line dancers
475
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,935
and tonight he’s here
to dance for you.
476
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:13,230
Let’s hear it for Daryl.
477
00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,832
He’s losing it.
478
00:22:14,832 --> 00:22:17,043
All for show offs
up there. Hang on there,
good buddy.
479
00:23:19,272 --> 00:23:20,314
Fuck cardio.
36275
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