All language subtitles for Letterkenny.S03E06.Bradley.is.a.Killer.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

You were havin' breakfast
with your pals the other day.

Fuck were youse
drunk last night.

You know, I can't stand it
when you guys get really,

really, really drunk.

- Wasn't s'bad.
- It was s'goddamn bad.

You get super annoying

when you're really,
really, really drunk.

Right, scary Dary?

Please leave me alone.

Pushing your nipples
against everyone all night?

And what about you,
madman Dan?

Or should I say,
Legend of the Wind?

It's Squirrelly Dan,
Miss Katy.

Challenging everyone
to a foot race?

Get real.

Please stop shouting
at me, Miss Katy.

And let's not skim
over Wayne the Pain.

Mind your
own beeswax, Katy.

You have the most
annoying fuckin' laugh

on planet fuckin' Earth,

when you get really,
really, really, drunk.

Clean it up!

There's a new addition to
the Squirrelly Dan fam-damly.

I've seen that
in the paper.

What's the scoop there,
big shooter?

Well, Samuel's...

- I fuckin' hate Samuel.
- He's a Big Brother's now.

Oh, I fuckin' hate
Samuel so much.

Well, that's interesting,
maybe make Samuel

straighten up,
fly right there.

That's what I said.

Youse did pot today,
didn't ya's.

No.

'Cause youse are talkin'
like youse did pot.

- Why?
- Because that logic

is Titanic on the
ocean floor busted.

Why?

Well, it's like when
a celebrity gets all

fucked up on snooters
and such.

They think that the solution
to sortin' themselves out

is to get a puppy.

What's wrong
with a puppy?

Well, I'm just sayin', doesn't
it seem more appropriate

to sort yourself out before
bringing a beating heart

into your own home,
rather than relying on

that beating heart
to sort yourself out?

Snooters and such.

Uh, hmm, I had my go
with snooters and such.

Small town spawn
snooters and such.

Degens do
snooters and such.

- Over and out.
- I'd have to agree.

I think it's differents
for Samuel's,

he's just a six-years-old
with a penchants for mischief.

Someone needs to hit that kid.

I thinks for a six-years-old
introducing a little brother's

into the mix might just be
what he needs to inspires him

to sort's himself out.

I have to agree.

It's like Samuel who's
introducing a little brother

to himself to sort
himself out.

It's different than
like a celebrity

introducing a puppy

to sort himself out
after snooters and such.

And my cousin says
the baby is very smart.

- Pump the brakes?
- I'll soft pump.

What's the stupidest thing
you ever heard in your life?

I would like to say, but
it's impolite to talk politics

at the breakfast table.

I'd also likes to say but it's
impolite to talk religions

at the breakfast table.

Well, mine is neither politics
or religion so I will say,

the stupidest thing
I ever heard in my life,

is that a baby is smart.

Well, hold your horses
there, big shoots.

My Aunt Nancy works
at the nursery down

at the hospitals and she says

I was the smartest baby
she ever did see.

Your Aunt Nancy said that

I was destined
for constant confusion.

Are you saying my Aunt Nancy

is stupids for saying
such things?

I love your Aunt Nancy.

I owe her a great deal for

my personal growth
as a young man.

I even call her my Aunt Nancy.

Please tell her I said hello.

I will, good friend.

But what, see-suckin',
so to speak,

makes a baby smart?

Well, she says I was always

reachin' out for things
in my surroundings.

And that made you
a smart baby?

- Allegedly's.
- Okay, Dan.

Okay, okay, Dan.

Okay, hold your thumb out.

I'm gonna be a baby.

Ehya.

Now what about that suggests
I ought to be buildin'

rocket ships for NASA
in outer space?

Your Aunt Nancy said that

a baby who shows
signs of excitement

before it's able to verbally

communicate is a sign
of intelligence.

Aunt Nancy said
signs of stimulation.

Well, 'cause that means that
they're already getting

excited about
their surroundings.

A baby is stimulated
by their surroundings.

Okay, Dary, okay.

Okay, Dary, yeah, okay.

Go wide-eyed stick
your tongue out.

I'm gonna be a baby, okay?

I'm gonna show you signs of
excitement slash stimulation.

No but, Dary, like...

Like make the sound like
you're doing it to a baby.

Ehya.

Now what about that suggests

that I ought to be navigating
unchartered neurological

pathways in the brain?

I expose nothin'.

Yeah, realistically.

Furthermore, in the midst of
excitement slash stimulation,

that razor sharp
baby is likely

to drop a shit in its pants.

Unable to control its
own bodily functions

but smart as a whip, Dan.

Imaginable's, but I wouldn't
say likely's.

Hmm, it's possible.

Okay, Dan, okay.

Okay, Dary, Dary, okay.
Dan, hold your thumb out.

Dary, go wide-eyed,
stick your tongue out,

and coo like you're
doing it to a baby.

I'm gonna be a baby, okay?

Clean it up!

You suppose you could make
the same argument for a dog,

but at least you don't have
to wipe a dog's poopy bum,

do you?

What is this
butt-fuckery?

Had a rowdy crowd
in last night, boys.

Where the fuck from?

Up country.

Degens.

Fuck!

In degens.

Offered 'em sex
in exchange for peace.

No takers, so it's safe
to say they were gay degens.

Well, we'll just let you runs
with that there, Gailer.

Look, we've all had a run-in
with degens from up country.

But we figured out a solution.

All you have to do

is employ the Ginger and
Boots to be your bouncers.

Degens won't wanna
a whiff of this place.

Choice idea, Daryl.

Also go ahead and change
the name of my bar

from MoDean's 2 to Ostrich
Fuckers while I'm at it.

Crazier things have happened.

Besides I'm bringin'
in my own bouncer.

Oh, is he single?

You've had a busy
winter, Miss Katy.

Get after it.

- Who's that?
- My cousin Bradley.

Ah, Bradley!

I fuckin' love Bradley.

I love Bradley so much!

I'm one, I'd go as far as
to say I love him, too.

I love his pecs.

Nobody loves Bradley
more than Rosie.

Like, I'm not really one for,
like, being touched

or anything like that,
but then like,

he'll be huggin' you
and her huggin' me,

it'll be like a little
bit different. Like...

Well, like it's okay.

I'm his
second-favorite cousin.

He's always saying,
"God bless you."

And, you know, I'm not
really a religious guy's,

but when he says it
you feel good, like...

Like I can feel the warmth.

Rosie's his favorite cousin.

And he does the best
impersonations, too.

Like so many of 'em.

Like he could do
it professionally.

He could do me professionally.

Hey, can't forget
about the low-bones.

Oh, youse can's never forget's
about the low-bones.

I hope this is
what I think it is.

What's low-bones?

Well, low-bones is basically

like if somebody's
saying something,

and you agree with them,

that means give
them low-bones.

You can also use low-bones
to say hellos or good-byes.

Do you wanna know what?
Here's what low-bones is,

I can tell you
what low-bones is.

Low-bones is when you hold
your knuckles below your waist

like this and bang knuckles
with somebody.

Except don't look the person
in the eye or in the knuckles

when you bang knuckles
with them.

Almost like you
don't give a care.

And then you say somethin'
positive under your breath

upon bangin' of the knuckles.

Like, uh,
"Hell yeah, fuck it."

Or, uh...

"Yeah, man, you rock."

Like, everybody get in
here for a second.

Just pretend, like, I just got
here and I'm gonna show you

what low-bones are.

Hey, everyone,
I just got here.

- You rock.
- Fuck yeah.

Yeah, but 'cept you gotta

say it more under
your breath than that.

Like, everybody get in here,
pretend like I'm leaving.

Okay, guys,
I'm gonna leave now.

Something about the best
part about Bradley is...

But we all know what the
best part about Bradley is.

Bradley is a fuckin' killer.

Oh, like, Bradley
will fuckin' kill you.

Like, Bradley knows his ways

around a head-butts
and that's for GD sure.

Not sure that's the
best part about Bradley.

When does Bradley get here?

Should be here any second.

Well, then we'll all wait here
at the bar and greet him.

I love Bradley.

I love Bradley so much.

Do you wanna know what?
I'd go as far as to say

I love him, too.

Okay boys, it's the
final game of the campaign.

Final chance for one W.

Sixty hard miles, boys.

Fore check, back check,
pay check, boys.

Now, Joint Boy.

Tyson.

You guys may be what this team

needs to finally
come together.

You guys might be
the final piece.

Ferda.

We've reserved the two
toughest numbers

in hockey for you.

Joint Boy, you'll
be wearing number 28.

Domi, Godard, Stock.

Three of the toughest players
wore number 28.

Don't forget Colton Orr.

Thanks, boys, it's an honor.

Pretend Boogaard wore it.

That is a fuckin' honor.

Tyson.

You'll be wearing the toughest
number worn by the toughest

all-around player
to ever lace 'em up.

Number nine.

Gordie Howe, boys.

Gordie mother
fuckin' Howe, boys.

- Mr. Hockey.
- Mr. Elbows.

Creator of the Gordie Howe
Hat Trick, boys.

One geno, one apple,
one tilly.

Thanks, boys.

Greatest all round
player in the history

of the show, Mr. Hockey.

Gretz is the best player

in the history of the show.
Give your balls a tug.

Gretz is the best.

We didn't mean any
disrespect to 99.

We said Gordie Howe was
the best all-round player.

Gretz holds or shares
61 records in the show,

you piece of shit.

Don't nickel and dime
the Great One.

But Mr. Hockey...

Suck my Mr. Cockey,
you fuckin' loser.

Hey, hey, hey. There's
more important things,

like this team
coming together.

You're right.
Fuck you, Shoresy.

Fuck you, Jonesy.

Tell your mom I drained
the bank account

she set up for me.

Top it up so I can get
some fuckin' KFC.

Fuckin'...

Hey, there's more
important things.

More important things.

- Fuck you, Shoresy.
- Fuck you, Jonesy.

Your mom loves butt play
like I love Haagen-Dazs.

Let's get some
fuckin' ice cream.

Boys!

We've come a long way.

Overcome adversity on our
quest to finally come together

as a team and get one W.

Bulldozed speed bumps, boys.

You're right, we've conquered.

For example, puck bunnies,
you little bitch.

Yorkie?

Chirping from the bench 101.

Scholtzy.

Don't step on the logo.

Pussy.

Fisky.

Sweaters never
touch the floor.

Boomtown.

Presenting my penis to my
all-male teammates in hopes

that they will accept me.

And then having my penis
called "modest,"

with my all-male team further
coming together as a result

of seeing my penis.

That's the big picture.

- What?
- Why do they talk like that?

I wasn't finished!

Boomtown!

Keeping the big
picture in mind,

and despite all your
honest opinions,

which I do appreciate,

you could have called
my penis "the big picture."

That would have been a thrill.

Boomtown.

Let's get this fuckin' W boys!

It's the last game
of the season, pheasants.

We'll get this W tonight,

or I send one of these sailing

with this bad boy on my foot!

Think of the destruction!
Think of the carnage!

Think of the good men
left behind.

Toilet was
backed up so I had

to shit in there,
too, tit-fuckers.

I'm gonna get that
plug, buddy.

We have to do something
about that pilon, buddy.

How's that for motivation?

Hey, Reilly,
I made a oopsy,

can you ask your mom
to pick up Jonesy's mom

on the way over to my place?

I double booked them
by mistake, you fuckin' loser.

That guy's a masterpiece.

So, this is...

Goodbye?

Lyric from the Moby
track Porcelain.

Roald.

Stewart.

Why don't we call it, adios.

Actually, I'd prefer
if we don't call it that.

Long story, but this girl
I kind of used to date

used that word
when she dumped me,

and she broke my heart.

Then we'll call it sayonara.

Arrivederci, amore.

- Ciao.
- Shalom.

Auf wiedersehen.

Roaldy.

Gae.

- Roald...
- Stewart...

This is what we've been
working towards, remember?

- We did it.
- I... I like you.

You, you, you,
and I don't want you,

to go, oh, oh.

- Roald.
- Stewart...

Connor.

Darien.

Hysterics are fruitless.

Tears are valueless.

Pain...

Is inevitable.

That's my mom,
she's such a twat.

Give me three good reasons
why you fell you must rebel.

I hate the world.

I hate my parents.

And I hate myself.

As you were.

No, no, no, no!

I don't understand!

He's so close
I can smell him.

I'm about to slide right
off this chair, boys.

That libido works harder than
soldiers stacking sandbags

for a flood.

That's a Texas
size 10-4, Gailer.

First the models.

Some talk around town
about some business

in Bonnie McMurray's hot tub.

Even heard something 'bout you
and a couple of French dudes.

You've had a busy winter,
you old goat.

I have had a busy winter...

But I mean, like French guys,
am I right?

- Hello, hello.
- Bradley!

Ha-ha! Oh, bless up!

I can't believe...
I can't believe...

I haven't seen
y'all in forever.

Chris Rock!

Daryl, I see you over there.

- You want a hug, I see you.
- Uh huh.

I see you, looking' at me...

I want a hug, yeah,
I want a hug.

Let's have a hug now,
gimme a hug...

A hug, gimme a hug now.

Eddie Murphy!

You're so funny, Bradley.

We missed you
so much, Bradley.

God bless you, boys.

- Thank you, Bradley.
- Thank you so much, Bradley.

What up, Katy?

It's a slip and slide
over here, boys.

And you, my second
favorite cousin.

- What up, cousin?
- What up, cousin?

I got a Haitian taco recipe
mom wanted me to pass along.

Yeah!

I prayed for you
after MoDean's burned down.

He listened.

Props to you and him for

getting' this place
back on its feet.

Thanks, cousin.

You know what we say.
Our lips to God's ears, right?

Well, we don't actually
ever say that, just you.

But you're a great guy,
Bradley.

So good to see you guys.

- Hey, Bradley?
- What's up?

Can you, uh, can you do...

Do your Michael Jackson
impression for me?

Uh, I haven't seen you
all in so long.

I'm sorry.

I get emotional.

Tito, get me a tissue.

That was actually an Eddie
Murphy-Michael Jackson hybrid.

It was a hybrid.

Oh, you're so funny, Bradley.

Oh, yes, you smell
like sandalwood, Bradley.

Seriously. Love.

That's what's up,
that's what's up.

So, got a problem with
the degens from up country?

Yeah.

Always got a problem
with degens from up country.

Lots of hard work dealing
with degens from up country.

Degens are a problem
in Letterkenny.

- Yes.
- Well, not no more.

Bradley's in town now.

- That's what's up.
- That's what's up.

Seriously, straight up,

you guys are off-duty
for the night.

Oh, I need a lifeguard
on duty right now, boys.

Heard through the grapevine,
you guys have been putting in

OT with these degens.
Double OT.

- That's what's up.
- That's what's up.

That's what's up.

You've all got the night off.

Do you hear me?

From this day forth

I'm on degen duty
for the foreseeable future.

Denzel Washington!

Well, anything we could
do to help, though, Bradley.

Oh, we'd loves
to help you, Bradley.

Seriously, Bradley,
anything we can do to help.

I want you guys to get out and
relax and have a good time.

Enjoy yourselves and get
really, really, really drunk.

- Oh, pump the brakes.
- Hey, I'll soft pump.

You sure you know
what you're signing up

for there, big shooter?

I think they've earned it.

Little bit.

Oh, Robert De Niro.

Okay, but fair warning.

They get super annoying

when they're really,
really, really drunk.

I don't care, man!

Gentlemen, you've kept watch

of this town for
long enough, man.

Tonight I want y'all to get
out and have some fun, man.

And I will accept nothin' less

than really, really, really,
really, really, really

really, really drunk.

- Get out!
- Chris Tucker!

That's what
I'm talkin' about.

Oh! Well, if it isn't
my favorite cousin.

Waz up, cousin?

- Hi, Bradley.
- Yeah.

Hey, Wayne, have you been, uh,

taking good care
of her, Wayne?

Can confirm.

All right, God bless,
that's what's up.

DAN/DARYL:
Okay man, you rock.

Gail?

Who's that?

Go over and see for yourself.

And where did you come from?

- Glen?
- Oh, hi, Katy.

Is Wayne here with you?

Ooh, there he is, hi, Wayne!

I love this, we're twins.

Uh, busy winter's over.

Is that fuckin' joker
wearing number 99, bud?

This is our chance to make
it up to Gretz, bud.

Hey, 99, you fuckin' loser.

Are you fuckin' serious nines?

How dare you wear that number,
you piece of shit!

That's the Great One's number,
you fuckin' donkey.

Think you're Gretzky,
you piece of shit?

Gretz probably smashed
your mom in the '80s, bud.

I'll get the white tape out

and turn those double nines
into double zeros.

You're a fucking nobody.

Fuckin' serious nines?

When's Mess get here, bud,
you're fuckin' hilarious.

When's McSorley get here,
you fuckin' plug.

Suck my knob!

What a fucking
piece of work, bud.

- Piece of shit.
- The fucking audacity.

Look at that
fuckin' masterpiece, boys.

I'd master
that piece, boys.

Look at those legs
go up and

make a complete fuckin' ass
out of themselves.

I'd wear that out, boys.

Holy fuck, would
I love to get sticky with her.

Stick me right to her, boys.

Fuckin' Shoresy, buddy,
I'm ready to pop.

Already starting
to snap-crackle, buddy.

We gotta get focused, buddy.

W's.

Who brought
the fuckin' rocket, boys?

Those billet sister's
a fuckin' rocket boy.

But she looks cold.
I'll show her my warm front.

Hey, you look mad.
I'll give you a bone to pick.

Wait a second.

Tyson, make some room
for us on the bench.

Joint Boy.
Beat the shit outta that guy.

Give your balls
a tug, you tit.

That experiment worked
wonderfully, buddy.

Worth their weight
in gold, buddy.

Whew!

I'm right on the edge, bud,
but gotta stay focused.

I'm ready for a tilly, buddy.

- W's.
- W's.

W's.

Who brought the fuckin'
rocket, boys?

Who's billet sister's
a fuckin' rocket, boys?

- Yup!
- Yup.

- Yup.
- Yup.

Oh, that was awesome, Bradley.

Know what, Bradley?
We should totally have a race.

You know what they used
to call me in high school?

- Wheels.
- Bradley, do Bill Cosby.

I would like to talk to you
about Pudding Pops.

All right, that's enough.

You're so funny, Bradley.
Look how fast he goes.

Why don't you guys
go play some Buckhunter.

I'll race you over
to the Buckhunter machine.

I'll surprise you.
How does that sound?

Anyone else feeling...

...wayward?

Stewart...

Lacking?

Stewart.

Mislaid?

Stew...
Stewart don't...

We mustn't marinate in our
own misery and misfortune.

We mustn't bask in our own
bad luck and bitterness.

We mustn't soak in our
own suffering and sorrow.

Gae wouldn't have
wanted that.

But...

What would Gae do?

WWGD.

Yeah.

Gae would do one more.

One more rampage.

One final flaunt for fuck you.

Roald.

Are you in?

In, Stewart.

Connor, are you in?

Darien?

Are you in?

Wondrous!

Roald?

Stewart.

How cold is it?

I'll check it out.

It's minus 24.

Bummer.

- Stewart.
- This is a fool's errand.

What?

Wasted labor.

Thwarted?

Pointless.

It's really cold.

It wouldn't be any fun
without Gae anyway.

She was

an invigorment.

What do we do now?

What we always do, Roald.

Copious amounts of hard drugs.

That was fuckin' epic, boys!

I can't believe they
called the game, boys!

Zero-zero for
the good guys, boys!

I'll take a good fight over
a W any day, you little bitch!

Yorkie.

Lay beats, fill seats.

Scholtzy.

A good brawl
brings a team together.

Makes us one, pussy.

Fisky.

Proof we'd go to the wall
for each other, boys.

That's brotherhood!

Boomtown!

Showing you all my penis was
degrading and humiliating.

Had I known I could have just

tossed the mitts to bring
the team together,

I would have
chosen that route.

You're fuckin' weird, bud.

Fuck is he a weirdo.

Boomtown.

But, the team came together.

And that's a fuckin' W, boys!

I have never

been less embarrassed
in all my life.

They are fuckin' embarrassing!

Jonesy, Reilly.
You have a visitor!

What?

Thanks, boys.

For what, Katy-Kat?

For the what, Katy-Kat?

For sticking up for me.

Ferda.

I want to get back together.

But just with one of you.

God bless you, man,

but you better stop it
with that nipple shit.

From your lips
to God's nips, Bradley.

Bradley, do your
Chris Tucker again.

That's the best one.

Wayne, I would but your laugh
makes me want to

strangle a small
motherfuckin' dog!

Hey, Bradley,

we should race right now.

- Really...
- No Dan, no.

What? You gonna race me.

You hear the
Legend of the Wind?

I ain't scared of
a goddamn thing!

Bradley, do your
Denzel Washington again.

That's the best one.

We'll go fast around
the bar, real fast.

Bradley do your Will Smith
again, that's the best one.

You and me Bradley,
50 meter dash.

Let's go right now.

Okay, 50 meters too far.
I get it. Twenty-five meters.

It's not so far.

Hear the wind?

That's a wind, knocking
on your door, Bradley.

Bradley?

Wayne?

That's Bradley's
favorite cousin.

Trouble in paradise,
shirt-tucker?

Ha!

Wayne.

Please, no.

No one loves Bradley
more than Rosie.