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1
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,137
You were out gettin' good
with your pals
the other night.
2
00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,973
It's been so long
since I've had
a pair of tits in my hands,
3
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:18,351
I popped a lap rocket
opening up a can of tuna
last Sunday morning.
4
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,644
Oh, that's off-putting.
5
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,479
Not to old Gail, it isn't.
6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,857
I'd love to hear your
big bang theory, Daniel.
7
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:25,734
WAYNE: Ew.
Print it.
8
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,486
This is officially
me callin' down
for more mayo.
9
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,655
That's clever.
GAIL: Do you like magic?
10
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,032
Pop that purple
home wrecker over here.
11
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,952
I'll make her disappear.
12
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:39,122
We should just be out there
just pole vaultin'
around town, boys.
13
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:42,792
Wouldn't say no
to a bit of toe curlin'
and I don't mean maybe.
14
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,961
GAIL: It won't be long
before you have the option.
15
00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:46,838
College and university kids
will be home for the summer
next week.
16
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,507
Well, that should
help your spring fever.
17
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,218
Which is a serious condition
if not handled appropriately.
18
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,344
Mini-skirt and T-bar season.
19
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:56,848
Yup. By all means, ladies.
Express yourselves.
20
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,142
Go easy down there,
Squirrely Dan.
21
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,102
I suffered severely
from the spring fever
last year,
22
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:05,106
had to go into
full cougar mode
with an 18-year-old.
23
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,275
Oh?
May have been
my second cousin.
24
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,401
Oh.
25
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,736
It was either that
or be at home flickin' it
26
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:11,404
to Grapefruit League
baseball highlights.
27
00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,574
You know they're all
gonna be in here lookin'
28
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,117
for a bit of
"how's your father."
29
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,870
Make sure your game
is tight or you'll
be home firing wristers.
30
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:19,037
Firing what?
31
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:22,165
Oh.
32
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,375
What say we make
this interesting.
33
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:25,627
Whichever one of you
grabs a tail first
34
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:28,379
gets 50 bucks
off their bar tab.
35
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:29,339
In.
36
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,257
That is a Texas
sized 10-4.
37
00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:31,883
No, you two
get after it.
38
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,136
Here's a tip.
39
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,306
When the gettin's good
around here, stay close
to your pal Wayne.
40
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:41,601
Kid's got more spunk
than a hotel room
hand towel.
41
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:42,936
Well, here's a tip.
Don't fart in a spacesuit.
42
00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:46,231
Here's a tip.
Don't sneeze
when you're taking a piss.
43
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,983
Here's a tip.
It's really hard to get tuna
out of your dick hole.
44
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,781
This place is about to be
crawling with snapper.
45
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,074
Let's hope
this is the last night
46
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,952
you'll be going home
to make a bald man puke.
47
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,995
You naturally
prefer companionship,
48
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,288
but I guess there's
a lot worse things
49
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,873
than playing a little one man
couch hockey in the dark.
50
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,510
REILLY: Wearing number 22
for the Tackville Tornados...
51
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:19,097
(SPITS)
Who fuckin' cares.
52
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,558
Dig deep, bare down,
you fuckin' hero.
53
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,518
You're my fuckin' hero,
two-two.
54
00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:26,145
Nice flow,
you fuckin' donkey.
Take a lap.
55
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,356
TEAMMATE:
Hey, give your balls
a tug, you tit fucker!
56
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:30,733
What the fuck are you
lookin' at, twos, huh?
57
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,944
You lookin' at my cock,
you fuckin' sally?
58
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:35,572
Mix in some class,
you fuckin' cock looker!
59
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,407
You're a fuckin'
cock looker, two-two!
60
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,408
Hey, shut the fuck up.
61
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,326
You're a fuckin' hero, twos.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
62
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,747
Fuckin' suck at hockey,
two-two!
63
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:44,873
Loser.
64
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,587
REILLY: Ever wonder why Katy
doesn't come
65
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,713
watch us play anymore, bud?
66
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,339
Makes no fuckin'
sense, buddy.
67
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:56,342
Just fuckin' stud army
born to go silky shelf.
68
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,554
Silky studs.
I mean Italian silk.
Just rippin' ched.
69
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,681
Just chuckin' mitts
and suckin' tits.
(SPITS)
70
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,349
Tossin' mitties,
suckin' titties.
71
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,770
Just look at
the snipers up there.
72
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,731
Here to support
the boys.
73
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,024
Must be nice Ferda.
74
00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,819
Ferda...
75
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,195
It'd be pretty sick
to see Katy
up there again.
76
00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:18,114
So sick.
77
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,576
Atta be sures, eh?
78
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,830
First thirsty Thursday
of the season, boys.
79
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,040
How's team morale?
80
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,750
I'm most excited
for Buck Hunter.
81
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,710
Boy, I'm gonna tell ya
that's what I'm gonna do,
holy fuck.
82
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:34,547
You guys know if Gail's
making pickled eggs
or pickled sausages?
83
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:37,008
Bear in mind there
is no wrong answer
to this question.
84
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,052
I'm gonna be posting up
and looking for love,
85
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,261
and I don't care
who knows it.
86
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,055
Don't set the bar
too high, mutant.
87
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,723
That's fair.
88
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:44,933
KATY: You guys going to be
wearing belts?
89
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:45,934
Hard no.
90
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,061
Why don't you guys
wear belts?
91
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,938
'Cause we buy pants
that fucking fit.
92
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,690
Why would I buy
a piece of leather
that costs $25,
93
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,442
when I have a perfectly good
skate lace at home?
94
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,694
$25? No.
95
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:57,820
Fucking $25,
96
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:58,780
you're lucky to have
a $25 bill.
97
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,490
Fuck, you've been
to Winners lately?
98
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,909
You're talking
about $35, $45.
99
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:06,371
Winners. Slow down there,
Mr. Rocketfeller.
100
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,539
I go down to
the flea market
at St. Jacobs,
101
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,042
$25 could get you
at least five belts.
102
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,836
Plus, a commemorative
belt buckle says,
"Jesus holds up my pants."
103
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,088
For Sunday morning.
104
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,297
Boy, howdy.
105
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,258
KATY: (CHUCKLES)
Bunch of d-gens.
106
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,468
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
REILLY: Ten losses
in a row, bro.
107
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,679
JONESY:
Two's a streak, bro.
108
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,222
REILLY: Like where the fuck
Schultzy been out there?
109
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,098
Schultzy's dog shit.
110
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:27,141
Soupy's a plug.
111
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,393
Smitty's a pile.
Millsy.
112
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,728
Cartsy.
Burnsy.
113
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,772
Deetzy.
Brooksy.
114
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,774
Brooksy's got
a hern-dog.
Seri-dog?
115
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,651
He's having off-season surgery
for a sports hern-dog.
116
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,528
He's out
four to six.
117
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,154
Four to six for.
Best plan.
118
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,408
Like where's Coopsy been?
Playing like poopsy.
119
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,743
Playing like
Milan Poocic.
P.K. Pooban.
120
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,828
And Ryan Poo-gent Hopkins.
121
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,454
Pookka Rask.
122
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:51,249
The brothers Miko
and Saku Koi-poo.
123
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:52,500
REILLY: Joke, bro.
JONESY: It's embarrassing.
124
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:56,879
Katy!
125
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,090
How come you don't
watch us play anymore?
126
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:00,341
'Cause you're dog shit.
127
00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:04,429
We're not dog shit.
I mean, the boys
are dog shit.
128
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,180
But we're pretty good.
129
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,932
Is that why they always play
and you guys never do?
130
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,980
She might be onto
something there, bro.
131
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,940
Not seeing a whole lot of
special teams time, buddy.
132
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,400
I haven't killed
a penalty all year.
133
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,068
I mean, we wanna score goals,
but we'd just end up
killing them boys.
134
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,237
Mmm-hmm.
135
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,905
Would you come watch
if we play a regular shift?
136
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,284
Duh. The fuck else am I
going to do around here?
137
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,121
Time to set up
a meeting with the Coach.
138
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,289
Buh-doo!
139
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:34,709
(BOTH SPITTING)
140
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,711
We're the biggest
Pantene pros
in the league.
141
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,589
Mix in some big minutes
for a couple stick
and pucksters.
142
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,592
You guys don't give a shit
about winning.
143
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,343
You just want the hockey
player lifestyle.
You are posers.
144
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,471
So what are we
gonna do?
145
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,847
COACH: You need
to get in shape!
146
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,265
Study the tape!
147
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,100
Play with
some intensity!
148
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,310
Hold my spitter.
149
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,272
So basically what
you are saying is...
150
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,066
We're at this level.
151
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,903
But we've got to get
to this level.
152
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:06,783
Done!
153
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,076
You're a fucking beauty.
154
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,827
Registered beautician.
155
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,623
What do you guys
think of the program?
156
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:14,916
Well...
Uh...
157
00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:15,917
Just kidding,
I don't give a fuck.
158
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,296
(DOOR CLOSES)
159
00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,214
Gutty.
160
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:22,256
Yeah, a little gutty.
161
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,341
Little gutty.
162
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:24,133
Fuck.
163
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:25,593
(BOTH SPIT)
164
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:26,844
(MUSIC PLAYING)
165
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,350
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
166
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,938
(GUNFIRE)
167
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,525
DAN: That's when you
cut off her balls.
168
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:41,651
Cut off her balls?
Correct.
169
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,945
DARYL: I think you mean,
"Cut off his balls."
170
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:45,363
DAN: Incorrect.
171
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,782
Oh, no?
Oh, yes.
172
00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:51,244
That is why you never give
a sword to a hooker.
173
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,791
Hey, Wayne.
How many planets
are there?
174
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:59,043
WAYNE: Well, with the whole
Pluto debate.
175
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,920
Give or take,
eight planets.
176
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,172
There'll only be seven
after I destroy Uranus.
177
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,259
Buy you a drink?
Okay.
178
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,054
Who's that?
179
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,141
WAYNE: Who?
Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?
180
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,142
DARYL: Is that
who she is?
181
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,434
That's Kyle Schneidstiller's
little sister.
182
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,895
You know,
he's a decent dude.
183
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:18,771
She's finer
than frog hair.
184
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,566
Have an eye
for the fertility, boys.
185
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,067
She's been
knocked-up twice.
186
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,318
She's a one-shot Sally.
187
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,028
WAYNE: Also...
188
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:29,907
She dated Boots for a while
before he went to jail.
189
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,912
You guys ever hear
anything about that guy
fucking an ostrich?
190
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:35,830
No...
191
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,791
The Ginger fucked
an ostrich.
192
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,126
Allegedly.
193
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,045
It would take more
than one guy
to fuck an ostrich.
194
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:43,963
We've heard
195
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,841
that it was
a sick ostrich.
196
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:49,093
Well, it would take
two guys to fuck an ostrich.
Three even.
197
00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,012
Again,
198
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,473
we're hearing it was
a sick ostrich.
199
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,560
Still, it's a three-man job
to fuck one.
200
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,562
But wait...
201
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:03,107
Was that
before or after he dated
Kyle Schneidstiller's sister?
202
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,984
Oh, it's almost not worth
thinkin' about.
203
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:08,154
WAYNE: Oh, we have an eye.
204
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,405
She's sweet
on you, Dary.
205
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,324
Is that what she is?
206
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,909
That's your next sweetie
right there.
207
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:13,618
Go talk to her.
208
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:15,369
What's your
logic there?
209
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,413
You see what she's doing
with her hair?
210
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:19,707
That's called
a hair show.
211
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,250
When a gal's sweet
on a guy,
212
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,543
and she wants to
get his attention,
213
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,212
she just starts fucking
with her hair whole bunch.
214
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,546
What for?
215
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,840
So you notice more
about the way they look.
216
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,468
Like how her face is framed
with her hair up or down.
217
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,928
And also make you
think like...
218
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,890
Well, I wouldn't
wanna touch it.
219
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,893
Well, yeah, I think
I would like to touch it.
220
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:39,852
Well, get after it.
221
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,605
But don't lead
with the touchin', though.
222
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,273
All right. I will.
223
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,401
Just, not just yet.
Maybe after a couple.
224
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,278
There.
225
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,738
JONESY: Okay, bro,
workout program.
(WATER RUNNING)
226
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:51,656
Go.
Gotta start with burpees,
buddy.
227
00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,366
Just ripping burpee
boxshums, buddy.
228
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:55,576
50 burpees,
50 pushups.
229
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,203
50 burpees,
50 pushups...
230
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:58,454
Stairs.
Protein break.
231
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,914
Just ripping
skull crashers.
232
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,123
Just rippin' forced reps.
233
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,166
Forced rep super sets.
234
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,294
Bird up.
Just rippin'
anti-gravity press.
235
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,088
Just rippin'
Advanced Kettlebell Windmill.
236
00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:08,548
Just rippin' barbell
half-squats.
237
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:09,757
Just rippin' drop sets.
238
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,550
Just rippin' Swiss ball
jackknifes.
239
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,386
Just rippin'
silly animal stack.
240
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:16,597
Just rippin' bent over
rear delt raise
with head on bench.
241
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,391
Fuckin' delts to die for,
buddy.
242
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,810
Just rippin' cable rope
overhead tricep extensions.
243
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,311
#Noexcuses.
244
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,229
#Beachbody.
245
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,355
Legs?
246
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,232
Hate doing legs.
247
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,317
Let's skip leg day.
248
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,112
TEAMMATE: That's the best
ass-wash of your life
right there, boys.
249
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:31,862
Good work,
Shoresy.
250
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:33,906
Look at the hustle on,
Shoresy.
251
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,574
Best ass-wash
of your life.
252
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:37,368
(VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE)
253
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,703
Ooh.
254
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,374
Perfect score
in the bonus round.
255
00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:44,292
Don't think I've ever
seen that before.
256
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:46,586
Remember what happened
here today.
257
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,087
You can't forget
something like that.
258
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:49,463
Seen Angie in here
with her new boyfriend
again a couple nights ago.
259
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:52,049
Oh, who gives a care.
260
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,719
Remember I told you
he was in a '94 Jeep YJ with
a wave decal on the side?
261
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,721
He made an upgrade.
Short trip.
262
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,723
Pulled up in here in
a 2003 aquamarine Audi wagon
263
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:01,684
with a magenta "Fear this"
sticker on the back.
264
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,185
Ain't no reason
to get excited.
265
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,605
Came in here wearing
a pair of Fandango
pink pastel khakis
266
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,066
with a white, gold
leather chain
fuckin' wallet,
267
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,067
Creed T-shirt on.
268
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,235
Remarkable.
269
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,903
I know.
270
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:15,406
He had a deep carrot orange
fedora with a burnt
orange stripe
271
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,783
and a little cauliflower
blue feather
272
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,244
with a fucking, I don't know,
looked like to me
some kind of
273
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,079
a black-bearded titmouse
or some kind of shit.
274
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,748
Did you know
there's a type of bird
called a Bushtit?
275
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:26,375
I did not.
It's a type
of chickadee.
276
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,209
He also had
an imperial purple...
277
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,586
That'll do, McMurray.
278
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:31,047
I'm just sayin'
it must suck balls
279
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,006
to lose to a fucking
douchebag like that.
280
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:35,843
Hi.
281
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,428
Heard you doin' all right
at Buck Hunter.
282
00:10:37,511 --> 00:10:38,804
What say I give you
a quick squeezer in
the parking lot there, eh?
283
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:42,433
Could be worse.
284
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,060
Could indeed.
285
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,562
There a vet around
here, ladies?
286
00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:47,980
These puppies are sick.
287
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:55,363
Christ, I would
snort her dandruff.
288
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,865
DARYL: Dandruff is a fungus.
I think you mean you'd
sniff her flakes.
289
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,495
Then you are giving me
far too much credit, my boy.
290
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,167
(LOUDLY) Oh, oh.
291
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,544
Lookin' some comely
tonight there, big fella.
292
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,130
Do you wanna know
what, Gail?
293
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:15,716
I think you've got a case
of the spring fever.
294
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,967
Can I get you a drink?
295
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:17,885
Okay.
296
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,471
You see that one?
297
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,515
She's like a Middle Eastern
rebel army.
298
00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:24,725
'Cause there's a political
uprising in my pants.
299
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,061
Well, shoulders back.
Here she comes.
300
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,188
Excuse me, boys.
301
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,444
She's sweet on you.
Get after it.
302
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,237
You think so?
303
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,655
You see what she
just did?
304
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:38,781
Touched your back
and then, moved on?
305
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,741
That's called the
unnecessary squeeze-by.
306
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,536
Is that what
it's called?
Mmm-hmm.
307
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,288
You noticed she had about
half a fuckin' soccer field
to get past
308
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,541
but instead leaned in close,
got a bit handsy
309
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,334
like there was only
a tiny lane to get by?
310
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,129
The unnecessary
squeeze-by.
311
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,088
Go talk to her.
312
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,133
Let's fire back
a couple of shots first.
313
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:02,471
Well, this is swiftly becoming
a counterproductive practice,
but okay.
314
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,434
Look at Coopsy out there.
Just dog shit.
315
00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,227
You mean
Claude Gir-poo?
316
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:10,062
Roberto Poo-ongo.
317
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,731
I mean, look at you.
You're Kenny coast-to-coast
out there, buddy.
318
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,568
You're Harry High-Sock buddy.
Cory clap bombs.
319
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,735
Thank you.
320
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,237
Sniper.
321
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,196
Snipe!
322
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,115
Didn't your coach
tell you to get in shape?
323
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,576
It's our cheat day.
324
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,494
We'll be rippin' silly
plyometrics right after this
325
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,662
so they cancel
each other out.
326
00:12:26,745 --> 00:12:28,998
Then it's arms. Just rippin'
concentration curls.
327
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,040
Just rippin' cross body
hammer curls.
328
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,959
Just rippin' alternate
dumbbell bicep curls.
329
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,962
Just rippin' lying close grip
bar curl on high pulley.
330
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,548
Just rippin'
alternate one-arm
dumbbell preacher curls.
331
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,009
Just rippin' standing
one-arm bicep curl
over incline bench.
332
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,637
You're an idiot.
333
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,598
We're smoke-bombing over
to throw some weights
around now.
334
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,850
You wanna come?
335
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:49,768
Okay.
336
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,188
Ninja dust.
337
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,819
Resistance training!
338
00:12:58,903 --> 00:12:59,945
Muscle atrophy!
339
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:05,743
Take some snaps
of us, snipe.
340
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:09,413
Yeah, take some snaps
for our Facebooks, snipey!
341
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,041
Take your shirts off.
342
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,043
Tarps off, boys.
343
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,044
Sheddin' tarp, boys.
344
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,297
(BOTH PANTING)
345
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,715
Take a knee, boys.
346
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:20,925
Grab a knee boys.
347
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:24,261
(EXHALES)
348
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:28,182
Those beta-blockers
really helped you up your
explosive potential, bro.
349
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,518
Muscular endurance,
muscular strength, bro.
350
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,020
Really working those
fast-twitch
muscle fibers, buddy.
351
00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:36,315
Isokinetic exercise
to really test your
lactic threshold, buddy.
352
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,026
You're never gonna plateau
with that overload
principle, buddy.
353
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,736
Rate of
perceived exertion.
354
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:43,489
You really hit
your target heart rate
with vigorous intensity.
355
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:45,032
JONESY: Thanks, buddy.
356
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,034
REILLY: (EXHALES) So?
357
00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,537
We got in shape
and studied the tape.
358
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,622
You gonna come watch us
play with intensity tomorrow?
359
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,584
Yeah, I could do that.
360
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,336
Wheel, snipe,
celly, boys!
361
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,963
Fuckin' dangles, boys!
362
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,715
Ninja dust.
363
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,892
(MUSIC PLAYING)
364
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,735
Hi.
365
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,821
Hmm? How are you now?
366
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,281
Good and you?
367
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:26,699
Not so bad.
368
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,493
Um... Do you know
where the washroom is?
369
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,911
Sure,
370
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:31,912
just right
back there.
371
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,872
Okay. Thank you.
372
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:34,790
You're welcome.
373
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,545
And I'm Jessica.
374
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:43,716
Wayne.
375
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,134
I know.
376
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,397
Now tell me
you saw that.
377
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,440
GAIL: What?
378
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,233
She's givin' me
the big eyes.
379
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,860
Is that what she was doing?
380
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,361
Big eyes?
381
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,821
You know, when a gal's
sweet on a dude
and she's shorter than him?
382
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:08,449
Instead of tilting
her neck up to look at him,
383
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,284
she'll just keep her head
straight and look up
with her eyes.
384
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,703
Like puppy dog eyes.
385
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,204
It's like...
386
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,873
"Do you know where
the washroom is?"
387
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:17,916
Versus...
388
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,376
"Do you know where
the washroom is?"
389
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,254
Okay. Yeah.
390
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,381
Big eyes.
391
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,189
Wayne, she's still
giving you the big eyes.
392
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,997
Well, don't have
to tell me twice.
393
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,587
It's about time
one of you showed
some finish.
394
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:07,466
She's so hot I'd jerk off
her dad just to see
where she came from.
395
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:09,051
Who? Jivin' Pete?
396
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:09,843
No.
397
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,096
That's her dad.
Jivin' Pete.
398
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,347
Jivin' Pete.
399
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,556
Yeah.
400
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,100
Got his nuts are
all bunned up
401
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,060
after a donkey
kicked him.
402
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,395
Ruptured the hydrocele.
403
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,690
One of them swole up
to look like
a ripe avocado.
404
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,983
Other one looks like
a peach pit.
405
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,318
I'll get him
to show it to you.
406
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,070
He'll show to just about
anybody when he's drunk.
407
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,490
Either way, whole unit's
more cauliflowered than
a UFC fighter's ear.
408
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,894
(PLAYERS SHOUTING)
409
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,191
Nice, nice penalty kill,
boys.
410
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,152
Love the hustle!
411
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,987
Love the hustle!
Look at that hustle, eh?
412
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:11,655
Well,
piece of shit...
413
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,407
Who brought the
fuckin' rocket, boys?
414
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:14,450
TEAMMATE 1:
Holy fuck, boys.
415
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,410
Who's billet sister's
a fuckin' rocket?
416
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:17,995
TEAMMATE 2:
She's a fuckin' rocket.
417
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:20,205
I got a fucking rocket
in my pants, right now.
418
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,123
TEAMMATE 2:
Dibs on digis, boys.
419
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:22,958
TEAMMATE 1:
Already dibs'd digits, buddy.
420
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,293
No, I dibs'd
her in warm up,
421
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,544
you were throwin' sauce
at the blue line.
422
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,754
I was dibsing digis.
423
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,130
Who the fuck
you dibs 'em to?
424
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,506
TEAMMATE 2: A dibs is a dibs
is a dibs, buddy.
Who gives a shit.
425
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,966
If a dibs falls
in the forest
426
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,761
and there's no one
around to hear it,
is it still a dibs?
427
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:34,970
Well, fuck, yeah, buddy!
428
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:36,054
Fuck no, buddy!
429
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,723
Give your balls a tug,
you tit fucker!
430
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,349
Wake up,
you fuckin' pheasants!
431
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,934
BOTH: Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
432
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,779
(MUSIC PLAYING)
433
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:56,366
Wake up, you mutants.
434
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,452
You're missing out
on all the girls
435
00:17:58,535 --> 00:17:59,912
who do not want to
have sex with you.
436
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:03,415
Awfully pedestrian effort
from our boys tonight, Katy.
437
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,752
No discount on bar tabs
tonight, Chester and Charlie!
438
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,379
What was
your problem, big shoots?
439
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,007
He did all right.
Didn't you, Wayne?
440
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:12,674
He spent some time
in the bathroom
441
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,384
with a hot,
little spinner
442
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:15,719
who had such
a butt on her.
443
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,346
I took one look at it
and thought,
"Jesus Christ, woman,
444
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,723
"you shit with
that ass?"
445
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:21,892
Attaboy!
446
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:24,770
Boys!
447
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,815
Sniper.
Snipe!
448
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:30,359
KATY: Gotta say, I had
a fucking hoot at the game.
449
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,194
Two fights.
450
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,904
Hockey players have
the nicest asses.
451
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:37,866
Okay, we don't want you
coming anymore.
452
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,409
Too distracting
for the boys.
453
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:40,953
Ferda.
Ferda.
454
00:18:41,036 --> 00:18:42,079
What?
Uh...
455
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:45,999
It's too distracting.
456
00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,085
For the boys.
457
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,503
KATY: Yeah, no,
I heard you.
458
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,006
I heard you say
that I'm a distraction.
459
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,800
Okay.
460
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,760
Well, guess I'll have to
find one of your teammates
461
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,178
to dibs my digits.
462
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,561
BOTH:
We dibs'd those digis!
463
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,775
You did a decent job
with these d-gens tonight.
464
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,193
Thank you, Gail.
465
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,069
I said decent.
466
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,822
You forgot the
most important thing.
467
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:20,033
Don't get so drunk you
couldn't use it even
if you had the option.
468
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,201
Mmm-hmm.
469
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,788
I'll tell you what
and I'll only tell you once.
470
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:26,623
You've got the pick
of the litter around here
471
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,542
so you may as well
get pickin'.
472
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,756
I've got this fifty bucks
and no one to claim it.
473
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,508
What say we put it
in your jeans
474
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,428
and see what else is
hangin' around in there
while we're at it?
475
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,596
No.
476
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,223
Like what's in your jeans,
big fella?
Nothin'...
477
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,602
I mean it. Cripes,
I may not go down in history,
478
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:48,478
but I'll go down on you.
479
00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:51,940
Okay.
(CHUCKLING)
You want to do 68?
480
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,192
I'll help you clean up.
You'll go down on me?
481
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,194
And I'll owe you one.
482
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,238
Where's that rag?
There it is.
483
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,866
Wake up, big shoots
and really big shoots.
484
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,492
More hands
make less work.
485
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:03,785
Call me cake!
486
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,413
'Cause I go straight
to your ass, cowboy.
487
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,170
There's cake?
488
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,254
No.
35622
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