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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:13,179 [waves crashing] 2 00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:30,530 [THEME SONG - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"] 3 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,539 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats! 4 00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:43,418 The mighty, mighty Muskrats. 5 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,502 ERNEST: How ya doing? 6 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,712 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats. 7 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:48,590 The mighty, mighty, daunting muskrats, 8 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:52,594 Someday the Muskrats prevail. 9 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:56,222 Here the might warrior goes, to the C, to the Chickasaw-- 10 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:58,558 Come on, ladies, put a little effort into it. 11 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:09,152 THEME SONG: Chickadee [inaudible] 12 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,570 [shouts] 13 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,113 (SHAKILY) Whoa! 14 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,870 [band plays off key] 15 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,462 [groans] 16 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:43,853 OK, girls, hit the showers. 17 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,605 TEAM: Yeah! 18 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:49,442 THEME SONG: Hail to the Muskrats. 19 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,777 Hail to the Muskrats. 20 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:57,784 Hail to the Muskrats they do what all they do the Muskrats. 21 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:01,788 Cheer for the Muskrats, we're for the Muskrats. 22 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,375 Hail to the Muskrats! 23 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:06,793 Wah! 24 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,378 Ow! 25 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,379 Ooch ow! 26 00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:10,797 Ow, ow! Ow! 27 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:11,756 Ow ow. 28 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:18,763 Ooh, Oh ow. 29 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:24,227 Can anyone [inaudible] I need help. 30 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:27,939 [inaudible] 31 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,608 Way to hustle out there Cardell. 32 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,902 Good hit, Raymond. 33 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,322 Fane, Fane, Fane, you gotta use both hands when you punt. 34 00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:42,662 Spinx, you've got to keep your eyes open. 35 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,622 You're not seeing your secondary receiver. 36 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,875 [laughs] 37 00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,710 I must be doing something right, tomato head. 38 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:50,754 We haven't lost a game this year. 39 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:52,505 Yeah, but-- 40 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,717 And if we win next week, we'll be in the district finals. 41 00:02:55,759 --> 00:03:01,222 So when I want your advice, I'll rattle your cage. 42 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:02,640 I was just trying to give you the benefit 43 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,601 of my vast years of experience. 44 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:08,688 And open my giant storehouse of football savvy, know I mean? 45 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,524 If you'd like later I could give you some pointers. 46 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,400 No. 47 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,572 Yeah, a football field is 100 yards long, 48 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,575 but it's a game of inches, of mere inches. 49 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:24,788 Plus football ain't a sport, football is a art. 50 00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:27,707 And it's all in the fundamentals, 51 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,834 like blocking and tackling. 52 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,879 Suppose I had this little problem to tackle. 53 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,590 [water drips] 54 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:39,511 What I need to do is block it. 55 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,721 Then we put the hammer down. 56 00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,935 And hold that line. 57 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,697 Yep, the right tool for the right job 58 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:03,576 and a firm belief in the fundamentals. 59 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,913 Yeah, I remember that cold rainy night when coach Brasswell 60 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,917 walked up to the bench I was warming and says, (DEEP VOICE) 61 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:14,295 Crazy Legs, what we need is a miracle. 62 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,713 Yeah, Coach Brasswell always knew who to call on when there 63 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,131 was a tough job to be done. 64 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,925 Crazy, he'd say, he always called me Crazy-- 65 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,848 [screams] 66 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,879 [laughs] 67 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:39,881 [pipes creak] 68 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:40,882 Huh? 69 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,510 Uh. 70 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:44,469 Oh! 71 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,847 Oh, uh. 72 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:50,809 [screams] 73 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,783 [wails] 74 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:12,163 [music - "hail to the muskrats"] 75 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,053 RODNEY (ON PA): Good morning, Chickasaw Falls. 76 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,722 Hello, Muskrats. 77 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,974 The question of the day is who put the snake 78 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,976 in Karen Turpin's locker? 79 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,894 And where is that snake now? 80 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,438 Oh my god, it's huge! 81 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,897 [hissing] 82 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,900 Can Rodney escape the hideous clutches of the reptile? 83 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,694 Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion 84 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,447 of Rodney, King of the Jungle. 85 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,907 [monkey screech] 86 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,076 Chickasaw Falls High School is the glue that holds 87 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,120 our entire community together. 88 00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:55,165 Closing it down now would be a fatal blow to the town. 89 00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:58,710 I answer to the taxpayers of the entire district. 90 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,756 And the only way to cut costs is to consolidate the 91 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:05,008 obsolete schools like this one. 92 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,093 I realize the building needs work. 93 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,680 But our students and our faculty are second to none. 94 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,599 Let's cut to the chase here. 95 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,100 The board is giving you a four week 96 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,269 probation period to see if there's anything worth saving. 97 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,772 And personally, I don't see it. 98 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,023 Really? 99 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,775 I think you'll be surprised what you find. 100 00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:24,778 We are on course to graduate every senior this year 101 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:27,113 and that's never been done by any school in the district. 102 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,867 That reminds me, Procter, new regulations. 103 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,912 From here on, all school employees must 104 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,039 have a high school diploma. 105 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,957 No problem there. 106 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,836 Our faculty is fully accredited and of the highest standards. 107 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,589 You have an Ernest P. Worrell here. 108 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,966 My records indicate he never graduated. 109 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,760 Well, yes. 110 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,637 But, but he's not faculty. 111 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,971 You see, he's just-- 112 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,682 I don't make the rules. 113 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:57,185 The regulations say, all employees. 114 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:02,774 Here we go. 115 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,158 Excuse me. 116 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,536 Your name wouldn't be Worrell, would it? 117 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,163 That's me and boy are you in luck. 118 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,332 You're just in time for a personal demonstration 119 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,836 of (DEEP VOICE) supremo vac, the world's most powerful vacuum 120 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,753 cleaner. 121 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,214 Maybe some other time. 122 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,759 (LAUGHING) 123 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,013 Your loss. 124 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:36,558 [shrieking] 125 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:55,618 (YELLING) Ernest, turn that thing off and get in here, 126 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,286 please! 127 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:06,254 [fast paced jazz music] 128 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,844 [banging] 129 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:37,160 [whirring] 130 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,801 A job well done. 131 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,137 [door opens] 132 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,934 I'm sorry, sir, it never acted like that before. 133 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,353 And wouldn't you know it, it's just out of warranty. 134 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,230 We've got a problem, Ernest. 135 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,232 Oh, the leaky faucet in the locker room? 136 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,358 Don't worry about it. 137 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,776 It's been taken care of. 138 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,778 Seriously, they've changed the rules. 139 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:17,742 All school system employees must be high school graduates. 140 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:22,122 Or, or what? 141 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,957 Or you have to go. 142 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,752 But, sir, this is my life. 143 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:28,878 This is my career. 144 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,171 This is my spiritual fulfillment. 145 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,299 It's, it's my job. 146 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:37,053 It's either that or you have to go back to school. 147 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,054 Oh no! 148 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:39,180 Not that! 149 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,140 Anything but that! 150 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,434 Not back to school! 151 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:51,860 [students chattering] 152 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,821 RODNEY (OVER PA): Good morning, Chickasaw Falls. 153 00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,948 Got something special today. 154 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,158 Got a new student. 155 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,702 A man I like to call Ernest. 156 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:05,290 Lets all give him a big Muskrat welcome. 157 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,085 Good morning, ladies. 158 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,004 So you're going to give it a try? 159 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,380 Yes, sir. 160 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:14,299 You know what that famous Dr. Frankenstein said, 161 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:18,428 a brain is a terrible thing to waste. 162 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,929 Good morning 163 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:20,847 Good luck, Ernest. 164 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,349 You can do it, Ernest! 165 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:26,269 No problemo heir teacher a-scientificus. 166 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:27,187 Go ahead. 167 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,773 Don't be late. 168 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,109 Ah, he doesn't stand a chance. 169 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,110 Nah. 170 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,528 Nope. 171 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:42,035 152, 152, 152. 172 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,244 152! 173 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,456 There you are my little locker of love! 174 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,794 My little personal port in a storm of knowledge. 175 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:56,049 My little sanctuary far away from the teeming masses. 176 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,926 OK, Ernest, you ready? 177 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:58,885 Yeah. 178 00:11:58,927 --> 00:11:59,969 Let the games begin. 179 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:00,887 All right, good luck. 180 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:01,805 Thanks. 181 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:02,555 See ya later, okay? 182 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,431 Thanks. 183 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,933 Go get 'em. 184 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:05,934 Quick review, lets see. 185 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:08,311 Homeroom, mathematics. 186 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,233 This is supposed to be memorized, bud. 187 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,567 No, I need that. 188 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,236 What's the matter, Ernie, did your mommy 189 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,487 hold you back a couple years? 190 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,447 More like a couple of decades, huh? 191 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,490 Ow. 192 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,866 Here we go. 193 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,993 That's go all my room numbers. 194 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,954 I can't find my way around without-- 195 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,497 Get out of the way, buddy. 196 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,082 That's got my classes on it. 197 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,458 Not too close. 198 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,293 I don't know my way around, yet. 199 00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:35,171 Come one, guys. 200 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:36,131 [bell rings] 201 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,966 Please, I I need that. 202 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,176 I get lost, I, I, can't find my way around. 203 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,190 Hello? 204 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:55,942 [voice echoing] 205 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,528 Is anybody there? 206 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,822 Does anybody know where math class is? 207 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,871 [horse neighing] 208 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:11,207 [western music] 209 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:26,222 [gulps] 210 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,148 Math class is room 205. 211 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,109 Thanks. 212 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:44,157 Hey, you'll need a hall pass. 213 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,033 Thanks. 214 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:13,478 [horse whinnying] 215 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,939 All right, class. 216 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,524 Blackboard problem. 217 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,985 [door creaks loudly] 218 00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,368 A produce truck has a trailer 12 feet wide 219 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,286 by 10 feet high by 20 feet long. 220 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:31,705 It carries the load of oranges, which 221 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:35,333 are packed 48 to the cotton. 222 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,294 Each cotton is one feet wide by one feet high by two 223 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,379 and 1/2 feet long. 224 00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:40,338 If-- 225 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,590 [shoes squeaking] 226 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:45,635 --the trailer is fully loaded, how many oranges does it hold? 227 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,311 Who has the answer? 228 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:56,312 Anyone? 229 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,230 Yeow! 230 00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,523 (LAUGHTER) 231 00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,566 All right, Ernest. 232 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,447 Why don't you step up to the board 233 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,991 and show us all how to find the answer? 234 00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,454 MALE STUDENT: Man, this ought to be great. 235 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,455 I'd love to. 236 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,174 First, we have to take into account 237 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:26,968 that at this time of year the most likely crop of oranges 238 00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:30,096 are the sweet, juicy Valencia oranges, 239 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,222 grown mainly in Florida. 240 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:38,021 If these oranges are picked by overzealous migrant workers 241 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:42,442 some of them may be too ripe and this could lead to spoilage. 242 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,985 [spurting] 243 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:47,238 [laughter] 244 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,539 Assuming that rot doesn't spread too quickly, 245 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:59,292 we could subtract, say, three oranges per carton 246 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,294 just be on the safe side. 247 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:03,129 Plus, if there are any big grapefruit 248 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:08,009 mixed in there or any of those big, fat, swollen orchard rats. 249 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,636 Sit. 250 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:11,262 I'm just getting to the answer. 251 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,263 These big fat rats they-- 252 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,139 Now! 253 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,609 [popping] 254 00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,662 (ANGRILY) Take your seat, Ernest. 255 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,707 Sit down. 256 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,166 Be my guest. 257 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,042 Thank you. 258 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:45,714 Sit, Ernest. 259 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,551 I have told you to sit, so, please sit! 260 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:52,512 [rips] 261 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:55,807 [teacher yells] 262 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:13,366 [whistle blowing] 263 00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:17,120 All right, ladies. 264 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:20,749 Today we're going to do a little wrestling. 265 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,833 Who wants to help out? 266 00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:27,839 Worrell. 267 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,424 You just volunteered. 268 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,264 I think not, Coach. 269 00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:38,683 With my extensive background in the WWF 270 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:42,395 and since I've seen every single Wrestlemania since the Hulkster 271 00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,314 was defeated by the Ultimate Warrior, 272 00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,358 I hardly think it would be fair to the other youngsters. 273 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,233 Uh-huh. 274 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,738 Get up there now! 275 00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:55,408 [teenagers cheering] 276 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,327 I'll move slowly, Donald, so you 277 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,204 can observe my cat-like moves. 278 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:07,420 [laughter] 279 00:18:17,806 --> 00:18:22,769 Coach Carson, you ready? 280 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:26,272 [roaring] 281 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,657 [rock music] 282 00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,181 Ay, woah woah! 283 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,896 Yo, where you at? 284 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,746 [ernest groaning] 285 00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,630 Hey, he's going to try the atomic drop. 286 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,469 Yeow! 287 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:44,517 [students cheering] 288 00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:48,563 Coach, coach, I've got him pinned. 289 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:49,439 Coach! 290 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:55,737 [coach carson screams] 291 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,240 Hey, come on, Coach! 292 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,245 Woah! 293 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,706 [ernest yells] 294 00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:22,597 MALE STUDENT: Yo, that's gonna hurt, man! 295 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:25,558 Oh, Earnest, are you all right? 296 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,604 That last hold was clearly illegal. 297 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,981 Ah! 298 00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:42,826 (GROANS) 299 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,453 What you're about to see is for your eyes only, Ernest. 300 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:48,456 If this experiment fell into the wrong hands, 301 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:50,542 world governments would fall, my friend. 302 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,293 Weapons of mass destruction could 303 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,379 fall into corrupt hands and Bobby 304 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,839 and I could lose our jobs. 305 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:59,050 [pig snorting] 306 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:00,802 What's that on Mogley's head? 307 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:04,347 You are about to witness the trial run of a Nobel prize 308 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,682 winning ticket to the big time! 309 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:06,558 Bobby. 310 00:21:09,978 --> 00:21:11,771 With the aid of this device, Ernest, 311 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:14,399 this lowly beast should be able to solve 312 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,651 this simple mathematical problem as easily 313 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:18,403 as it can count and root. 314 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,448 A four! 315 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:22,615 Ernest! 316 00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:23,825 Oh, sorry. 317 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,995 Give him another one, Bobby. 318 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:30,373 [computer keys clicking] 319 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,589 Concentrate my little piggy. 320 00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:48,516 Come on, make mama proud, two plus four is? 321 00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:49,768 Seven? 322 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,644 Why? 323 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,396 We were so close. 324 00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,774 Our family names in the text books. 325 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,567 Why, Bobby? Why, Bobby? 326 00:21:57,609 --> 00:21:58,485 Why, Bobby? 327 00:21:58,526 --> 00:21:59,361 Why? 328 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:06,701 Nothing to be ashamed of, Mogley. 329 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:10,163 Math was never a good subject for me either. 330 00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:13,667 [overlapping chatter] 331 00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:19,464 Well, you know, just tell me about-- 332 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:22,717 [overlapping chatter] 333 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,473 Ah, puppy love. 334 00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:32,018 These are the moments to be treasured for a lifetime. 335 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:33,144 Yeah right. 336 00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:35,480 Maisy doesn't even know I'm alive. 337 00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:37,023 Well, have you told her how you feel? 338 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,024 Are you kidding? 339 00:22:38,066 --> 00:22:40,527 I don't even dare say hello. 340 00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,654 Well it's probably best for now. 341 00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,115 Your academic pursuits are the most important things 342 00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:47,575 in these formative years. 343 00:22:47,617 --> 00:22:51,079 Still, the hardened heart is a lonely traveler. 344 00:22:51,121 --> 00:22:54,708 Should I be writing this stuff down? 345 00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:58,128 Class, class settle down please. 346 00:22:58,169 --> 00:23:01,131 Settle down, thank you. 347 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:02,924 As you all know, the survival of our school 348 00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:05,885 is somewhat in question at this time. 349 00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:07,721 Our very existence may well depend 350 00:23:07,762 --> 00:23:11,182 upon the image we present to the community at large. 351 00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,935 That's why we're fortunate to have Miss Flugal 352 00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:16,688 as our new band instructor. 353 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:18,732 [harp plays] 354 00:23:18,773 --> 00:23:20,900 She has a reputation for producing the most delightfully 355 00:23:20,942 --> 00:23:23,028 entertaining halftime shows. 356 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,155 I'm sure you'll give her your complete attention 357 00:23:25,196 --> 00:23:28,533 and cooperation. 358 00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,785 Hello, I'm Ms. Flugal. 359 00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,495 And I'm looking forward to getting to know 360 00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:34,956 each and every one of you. 361 00:23:34,998 --> 00:23:39,753 With hard work and enthusiasm I know we can put this band back 362 00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:42,630 on the map, so to speak. 363 00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:45,091 Man, with this group she doesn't stand a chance. 364 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,968 So let's get started. 365 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:50,597 If everyone will please turn to Strauss' Blue Danube. 366 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:53,141 And that will give me a sense of your musicality thus far. 367 00:24:04,819 --> 00:24:08,531 One two three, two two three, one two three, two two three. 368 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,868 [MUSIC - JOHANN STRAUSS, "THE BLUE DANUBE"] 369 00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:24,130 [bubbles popping] 370 00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:07,966 [ernest yells] 371 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,041 Ernest, snap out of it! 372 00:25:41,082 --> 00:25:42,250 Oh! 373 00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:45,670 [cymbal crashing] 374 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:50,383 [electricity zapping] 375 00:25:50,425 --> 00:25:53,219 So, by applying exactly six milliwatts of DC power 376 00:25:53,261 --> 00:25:56,306 from these Duracell batteries, the frogs leg demonstrates what 377 00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:59,184 we call a galvanic response. 378 00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:02,062 And that's what my project is about. 379 00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:03,980 Did you hear that, Bobby? 380 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:06,232 He has been using DC power but we have been 381 00:26:06,274 --> 00:26:09,319 using AC on the you-know-what. 382 00:26:09,361 --> 00:26:11,154 Good report, kid. 383 00:26:11,196 --> 00:26:12,864 Way to bugs that toad. 384 00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:15,241 This is it, Bobby, this is it. 385 00:26:15,283 --> 00:26:20,955 So, you, kid with the yellow shirt thing, do yours! 386 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:22,123 This is the break through we've been 387 00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:24,250 waiting for all of these years. 388 00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:27,754 If only dad were here to witness our moment of triumph, yeah? 389 00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:32,634 What? 390 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,220 Eyes up front. 391 00:26:35,261 --> 00:26:40,100 One of our most beloved American writers is Mark Twain. 392 00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:43,228 His real name is Samuel Clemens. 393 00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:47,148 And a number of his works are considered classics. 394 00:26:47,190 --> 00:26:50,235 Who can tell me the names of some of the books 395 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:53,822 Mark Twain wrote? 396 00:26:53,863 --> 00:26:55,198 [students laughing] 397 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,074 Ernest! 398 00:27:00,328 --> 00:27:02,372 - Tom Sawyer? - No! 399 00:27:02,414 --> 00:27:03,415 Life in the Mississippi? 400 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:06,251 - No! - Wizard! of Oz? 401 00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,294 No, your hat's on fire! 402 00:27:08,336 --> 00:27:10,380 I thought that was Dr. Seuss. 403 00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:12,340 The fire extinguisher! 404 00:27:17,262 --> 00:27:20,682 [yelling] 405 00:27:25,478 --> 00:27:27,939 To be blunt, I am very disappointed in you, Ernest. 406 00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:29,190 It seems like there's little chance 407 00:27:29,232 --> 00:27:30,984 of you passing your regular courses much 408 00:27:31,026 --> 00:27:32,819 less the state examination. 409 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,988 Well I realize things haven't been going too well, 410 00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:36,990 but I'm out of practice. 411 00:27:37,032 --> 00:27:40,744 No, I think we'd be best to just admit the whole experiment 412 00:27:40,785 --> 00:27:42,704 was a mistake and move on. 413 00:27:42,746 --> 00:27:44,998 You mean, I'm finished? 414 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,249 I'm outta here? 415 00:27:46,291 --> 00:27:48,418 I'm on the streets, up the creek, 416 00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:56,468 down the road, dropped, purged, cold, fired, flunked? 417 00:27:56,509 --> 00:27:58,219 Please, don't throw me out. 418 00:27:58,261 --> 00:27:59,179 A deal's a deal. 419 00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:01,264 Please don't make me go. 420 00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:05,310 I know we had a deal, but, but I can't let that decision 421 00:28:05,352 --> 00:28:06,770 jeopardize the school. 422 00:28:06,811 --> 00:28:08,271 What are you stalling for? 423 00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:09,397 Get rid of this idiot! 424 00:28:09,439 --> 00:28:10,982 He can't cut it. 425 00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:13,109 I can too cut it. 426 00:28:13,151 --> 00:28:14,903 I'll make you proud. 427 00:28:14,944 --> 00:28:18,239 You'll see, but please, please give me another chance cause, 428 00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,992 cause if I don't have this, I don't have anything. 429 00:28:21,034 --> 00:28:24,037 Well I want to be fair with you, Ernest. 430 00:28:24,079 --> 00:28:26,831 So I'm giving you one more week to show some improvement. 431 00:28:26,873 --> 00:28:27,874 Oh, thank you, sir. 432 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:29,209 Thank you. 433 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,960 I'll do my best and it'll be good enough. 434 00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:33,380 And everything will work out, you'll see. 435 00:28:33,421 --> 00:28:34,923 You'll see. 436 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:37,133 I'm going right now to study real, real hard. 437 00:28:40,261 --> 00:28:43,515 [door opening and closing] 438 00:28:49,813 --> 00:28:51,523 Get rid of this idiot, he can't cut it. 439 00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:53,316 I can cut it. 440 00:28:53,358 --> 00:28:58,405 Uh, ah, sure, I've never cut it before, but anyone can change. 441 00:28:58,446 --> 00:29:01,950 MATH TEACHER: Ernest, you will answer me now. 442 00:29:01,991 --> 00:29:03,952 Could you repeat the question? 443 00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:04,911 AXWELL: Flunk him. 444 00:29:04,953 --> 00:29:06,413 He can't cut it. 445 00:29:06,454 --> 00:29:09,332 I can, I know I can. 446 00:29:09,374 --> 00:29:11,042 I think I can. 447 00:29:11,084 --> 00:29:13,294 You are such a loser. 448 00:29:13,336 --> 00:29:14,212 You're hopeless. 449 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:15,839 I'm not. 450 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,090 I can change. 451 00:29:17,132 --> 00:29:18,508 I just need more time. 452 00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:20,093 FEMALE TEACHER 1: What's the chief export of Guam? 453 00:29:20,135 --> 00:29:21,845 FEMALE TEACHER 2: Who wrote the autobiography 454 00:29:21,886 --> 00:29:23,096 of Benjamin Franklin? 455 00:29:23,138 --> 00:29:24,431 MALE TEACHER 1: I must have your paper. 456 00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,433 MALE TEACHER 2: Who's buried in Grant's tomb? 457 00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:27,267 MALE TEACHER 1: Papers. 458 00:29:29,644 --> 00:29:30,437 They're right. 459 00:29:34,107 --> 00:29:36,401 I can't do it. [knocks] 460 00:29:36,443 --> 00:29:39,988 GERTA: Ernest, in here. 461 00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:40,989 Gerta? 462 00:29:41,031 --> 00:29:44,117 GERTA: Yeah, sure. 463 00:29:44,159 --> 00:29:45,535 - What are you doing in there? - Sh. 464 00:29:45,577 --> 00:29:46,578 Come. 465 00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:47,954 And don't let anyone see you. 466 00:29:47,996 --> 00:29:48,580 Come. 467 00:29:56,212 --> 00:29:59,507 [machines whirring] 468 00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:09,309 ERNEST: Gosh, these lockers hold more than I thought. 469 00:30:09,351 --> 00:30:11,144 Ernest, come in. 470 00:30:11,186 --> 00:30:12,103 Come. 471 00:30:12,145 --> 00:30:13,396 Step a little closer. 472 00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:14,314 Come on. 473 00:30:14,356 --> 00:30:16,066 It's OK. 474 00:30:16,107 --> 00:30:16,983 Closer. 475 00:30:17,025 --> 00:30:18,526 Stop. 476 00:30:18,568 --> 00:30:21,571 You've been having some problems with you school work, yeah? 477 00:30:21,613 --> 00:30:23,656 Bobby and I would like to make you an offer 478 00:30:23,698 --> 00:30:25,492 that could change your life. 479 00:30:25,533 --> 00:30:27,994 Not to mention the course of history. 480 00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:29,162 Well, I'm game. 481 00:30:29,204 --> 00:30:32,540 Good because we've done it, Ernest. 482 00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:36,961 You are looking at the world's first subatomic brain 483 00:30:37,003 --> 00:30:38,171 accelerator. 484 00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:39,923 And you are the lucky student who 485 00:30:39,964 --> 00:30:43,551 has been selected by our blue ribbon panel, me and Bobby, 486 00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:45,470 for the honor of being our very first-- 487 00:30:45,512 --> 00:30:47,222 Guinea pig. 488 00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:50,183 I prefer the term mental pioneer. 489 00:30:50,225 --> 00:30:51,976 Think of it, Ernest. 490 00:30:52,018 --> 00:30:55,480 All the knowledge in the history of mankind at your disposal. 491 00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:57,482 Well, gosh do you think this thing 492 00:30:57,524 --> 00:31:00,151 could help me pass a math test? 493 00:31:00,193 --> 00:31:02,362 Pass a math test? 494 00:31:02,404 --> 00:31:05,198 Pass a math test? 495 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,702 Try rewriting the theory of relativity. 496 00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:11,162 Well, if you think it really needs it. 497 00:31:11,204 --> 00:31:12,539 Now you're talking. 498 00:31:12,580 --> 00:31:13,998 OK, the important thing is that you're comfortable. 499 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,041 Come sit down. 500 00:31:15,083 --> 00:31:16,209 I want to see if it works here. 501 00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:17,127 Yeah? 502 00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:18,253 Yeah, are you comfy? 503 00:31:18,294 --> 00:31:19,212 Mm-hmm. 504 00:31:19,254 --> 00:31:20,088 Good! 505 00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:21,506 Strap him in, Bobby. 506 00:31:21,548 --> 00:31:24,300 All the straps may not even be necessary, Ernest. 507 00:31:24,342 --> 00:31:29,055 But that's what being a mental pioneer is all about, isn't it? 508 00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:30,724 Are you ready, Ernest? 509 00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:32,434 Actually I am having some second thoughts. 510 00:31:32,475 --> 00:31:34,019 Oh! (SHUSHING) No. 511 00:31:34,060 --> 00:31:36,396 Now, Bobby, fire it up. 512 00:31:36,438 --> 00:31:40,191 Now, Ernest, get ready to become smart. 513 00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:42,610 OK, Bobby, let her rip! 514 00:31:42,652 --> 00:31:46,114 [electronic buzzing] 515 00:31:50,201 --> 00:31:52,579 Ernest, how I envy you. 516 00:31:52,620 --> 00:31:55,331 [ERNEST MAKING UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS] 517 00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:09,679 Professor, pull it out to just the left hemisphere. 518 00:32:25,153 --> 00:32:26,071 Uh, Bobby. 519 00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:26,988 Shut it down. 520 00:32:32,660 --> 00:32:33,495 Shut it down! 521 00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:39,042 Ernest? 522 00:32:39,084 --> 00:32:42,128 Oh, Ernest, Ernest, my friend. 523 00:32:42,170 --> 00:32:45,465 Are you in there? 524 00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:47,300 (INTELLIGENTLY) By saying, are you in there, 525 00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:49,427 you must be making the philosophical assumption 526 00:32:49,469 --> 00:32:51,262 that I'm a conscious entity wholly 527 00:32:51,304 --> 00:32:54,599 capable of existing outside the body you see in front of you. 528 00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:57,310 (ERNEST REGULAR VOICE) Know what I mean? 529 00:32:57,352 --> 00:32:58,311 It works! 530 00:32:58,353 --> 00:32:59,437 It works! 531 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:02,482 Oh, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, it works! 532 00:33:02,524 --> 00:33:03,650 Am I smart now? 533 00:33:03,692 --> 00:33:05,527 Oh no, not now. 534 00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:09,155 But for a few brief moments there baby, you were brilliant! 535 00:33:09,197 --> 00:33:10,699 Gosh, fellas, I don't know how to thank you! 536 00:33:10,740 --> 00:33:12,325 Ah, yeah, nothing. 537 00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:14,369 Listen, you got to get here bright and early 538 00:33:14,411 --> 00:33:15,537 so that we can load you up. 539 00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:17,330 And if my calculations are correct, 540 00:33:17,372 --> 00:33:19,332 a normal sized brain can only maintain 541 00:33:19,374 --> 00:33:22,585 a charge for about three hours. 542 00:33:22,627 --> 00:33:24,587 So in your case, liebchen, we're looking at 45 minutes 543 00:33:24,629 --> 00:33:26,464 to an hour tops. 544 00:33:26,506 --> 00:33:29,134 Well, gosh, maybe this means I could pass now. 545 00:33:29,175 --> 00:33:31,177 Just remember, Ernest, give yourself 546 00:33:31,219 --> 00:33:34,222 plenty of time to recharge before every class, OK? 547 00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:35,056 Eureka! 548 00:33:37,851 --> 00:33:41,229 [theme song] 549 00:33:50,572 --> 00:33:53,450 RODNEY (ON PA): Good morning, Chickasaw Falls, 550 00:33:53,491 --> 00:33:56,369 and the countdown is on to find out who'll be little miss 551 00:33:56,411 --> 00:33:58,371 perfect, the homecoming queen. 552 00:33:58,413 --> 00:34:00,206 Yeah, real excitement there, with a win 553 00:34:00,248 --> 00:34:02,459 this week we can go to the district finals. 554 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,794 We can be football heroes! 555 00:34:04,836 --> 00:34:06,296 (CHEERS) 556 00:34:06,338 --> 00:34:09,341 [ernest unintelligible noises] 557 00:34:15,430 --> 00:34:18,725 [bell rings] 558 00:34:39,329 --> 00:34:41,456 Right class, who can give me the answer to the problem I 559 00:34:41,498 --> 00:34:42,332 said for homework? 560 00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:49,214 Come now, surely someone must have worked it out. 561 00:34:56,888 --> 00:35:00,183 Ernest, all right, what's your guess? 562 00:35:00,225 --> 00:35:03,561 (INTELLIGENTLY) The answer is y to the fourth power plus 16y 563 00:35:03,603 --> 00:35:10,819 cubed plus 71y squared minus 4y minus 420 equals zero. 564 00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:11,778 That's right! 565 00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:13,530 Well of course it's right. 566 00:35:13,571 --> 00:35:16,616 (CLASS MURMURING) 567 00:35:16,658 --> 00:35:19,911 Why don't you show the rest of the class 568 00:35:19,953 --> 00:35:22,455 how you arrived at your answer? 569 00:35:22,497 --> 00:35:23,331 Be glad to. 570 00:35:29,337 --> 00:35:30,714 The key thing to remember here, class, 571 00:35:30,755 --> 00:35:32,757 is that by increasing the true roots 572 00:35:32,799 --> 00:35:36,302 of an equation we therefore decrease the false roots 573 00:35:36,344 --> 00:35:37,721 by an equal amount. 574 00:35:37,762 --> 00:35:40,682 And on the contrary, by decreasing the false roots 575 00:35:40,724 --> 00:35:43,768 we increase the true roots by an equal amount. 576 00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:48,314 Am I going too fast for those of you who are taking notes? 577 00:35:48,356 --> 00:35:49,441 Good. 578 00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:52,235 So to continue. 579 00:35:52,277 --> 00:35:54,195 Increasing the true root, five by three 580 00:35:54,237 --> 00:35:55,780 we diminish each of the false roots 581 00:35:55,822 --> 00:35:57,824 so that the root previously four is now only one and the root 582 00:35:57,866 --> 00:35:59,993 previously three is zero and the root previously two 583 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:05,707 is the true root equal to minus 4y minus 420 equals zero. 584 00:36:05,749 --> 00:36:07,459 Now that we've covered the basics, 585 00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:10,795 why don't we go on to something a little more stimulating? 586 00:36:10,837 --> 00:36:14,215 (CHUCKLES) 587 00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:31,941 [students chattering] 588 00:36:33,568 --> 00:36:34,903 So, how did it go? 589 00:36:34,944 --> 00:36:35,904 (NORMAL VOICE) Great! 590 00:36:35,945 --> 00:36:39,366 I never knew I was so smart. 591 00:36:39,407 --> 00:36:40,533 Come on, come on, let's go! 592 00:36:40,575 --> 00:36:41,743 I'm gonna be late. 593 00:36:41,785 --> 00:36:43,745 Well, excuse me. 594 00:36:47,374 --> 00:36:50,585 [machines beeping] 595 00:37:01,930 --> 00:37:04,557 Would everyone please get out the Sousa book, 596 00:37:04,599 --> 00:37:06,976 Stars and Stripes Forever. 597 00:37:07,018 --> 00:37:09,270 And we'll see if we can't discover what we were 598 00:37:09,312 --> 00:37:10,772 doing wrong the other day, hm? 599 00:37:22,909 --> 00:37:25,662 (INTELLIGENTLY) Hello, my little friend. 600 00:37:25,704 --> 00:37:28,039 How come all the sudden you show up late for everything? 601 00:37:28,081 --> 00:37:30,500 I'm bored by the preliminaries. 602 00:37:30,542 --> 00:37:32,669 They're so elementary, don't you think? 603 00:37:32,711 --> 00:37:34,546 That's another thing, how come all of a sudden you're 604 00:37:34,587 --> 00:37:37,507 such an expert on everything? 605 00:37:37,549 --> 00:37:40,802 Everyone has the potential for brilliance, my boy. 606 00:37:40,844 --> 00:37:43,805 I've just been fortunate enough to find the key that unlocks 607 00:37:43,847 --> 00:37:46,766 the powers of the human mind. 608 00:37:46,808 --> 00:37:48,018 Right. 609 00:37:48,059 --> 00:37:49,561 From the top. 610 00:37:49,602 --> 00:37:51,938 Think pitch, trumpets. 611 00:37:51,980 --> 00:37:53,898 One two, two two. 612 00:37:53,940 --> 00:37:55,942 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER"] 613 00:37:55,984 --> 00:37:57,402 (BAND PLAYING OFF KEY) 614 00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:10,123 All right people. 615 00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:11,958 People, please. 616 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,918 May I make a suggestion? 617 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,629 Well yes, Ernest. 618 00:38:16,671 --> 00:38:19,007 First of all you must understand 619 00:38:19,049 --> 00:38:21,343 that this song, perhaps more than any other, 620 00:38:21,384 --> 00:38:24,763 represents the fighting spirit of the United States 621 00:38:24,804 --> 00:38:26,681 of America. 622 00:38:26,723 --> 00:38:29,100 So as you raise your horn to your lips, 623 00:38:29,142 --> 00:38:32,645 try to think of those courageous young soldiers, the loved 624 00:38:32,687 --> 00:38:36,816 ones they left behind, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas 625 00:38:36,858 --> 00:38:39,444 morning, the Easter Parade. 626 00:38:39,486 --> 00:38:42,781 [trumpet plays perfectly] 627 00:38:58,630 --> 00:39:02,467 Your middle valve needs a little oil. 628 00:39:02,509 --> 00:39:06,137 Woodwinds, woodwinds, woodwinds. 629 00:39:06,179 --> 00:39:11,685 The color, the nuance of 50 distinct individual United 630 00:39:11,726 --> 00:39:14,396 States. It's all up to you. 631 00:39:14,437 --> 00:39:17,732 [clarinet plays perfectly] 632 00:39:27,242 --> 00:39:28,785 Everybody now. 633 00:39:28,827 --> 00:39:32,080 [band plays on key] 634 00:40:09,117 --> 00:40:12,954 Class, I think we've found our new drum major. 635 00:40:12,996 --> 00:40:14,914 What do you say, Ernest? 636 00:40:14,956 --> 00:40:16,875 It'll take a lot of work. 637 00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:18,877 And I have my reputation to think of. 638 00:40:18,918 --> 00:40:20,170 Oh, come on Ernest. 639 00:40:20,211 --> 00:40:21,046 Please, Ernest? 640 00:40:24,507 --> 00:40:26,760 Well, if you insist. 641 00:40:38,855 --> 00:40:42,108 [football players yelling] 642 00:40:47,113 --> 00:40:49,616 As you are probably aware, there 643 00:40:49,657 --> 00:40:53,036 are certain persons associated with this football team 644 00:40:53,078 --> 00:40:55,121 that would rather we didn't play halftime 645 00:40:55,163 --> 00:40:56,998 at the homecoming game. 646 00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:00,502 They say, we're an embarrassment to the school. 647 00:41:00,543 --> 00:41:03,880 They say, we defile the name of the mighty Muskrats. 648 00:41:03,922 --> 00:41:07,050 We'll I say, why are we going to allow the football 649 00:41:07,092 --> 00:41:08,927 team to have all the glory? 650 00:41:08,968 --> 00:41:12,764 Glory, which by all rights, is ours! 651 00:41:12,806 --> 00:41:15,058 How do we do this, you ask? 652 00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:16,851 Who could we impress? 653 00:41:16,893 --> 00:41:20,522 We're just a bunch of no talent losers. 654 00:41:20,563 --> 00:41:23,858 Why we don't know an eighth note from fly poop. 655 00:41:28,363 --> 00:41:31,157 Well, I beg to differ. 656 00:41:31,199 --> 00:41:34,285 A good leader could turn this no account rabble 657 00:41:34,327 --> 00:41:38,289 into a drum pounding, horn blowing, foot stomping, 658 00:41:38,331 --> 00:41:40,875 precision marching unit. 659 00:41:40,917 --> 00:41:44,087 A good leader could take you deadbeats 660 00:41:44,129 --> 00:41:46,172 and turn you into a marching band 661 00:41:46,214 --> 00:41:49,175 better than any Chickasaw Falls has ever seen. 662 00:41:49,217 --> 00:41:53,555 And honesty compels me to tell you that I am that leader. 663 00:41:53,596 --> 00:41:56,725 [band members agree] 664 00:42:00,812 --> 00:42:03,857 [students gasp] 665 00:42:05,066 --> 00:42:09,070 Oh, Bradley, did you lose this? 666 00:42:09,112 --> 00:42:11,823 [laughter] 667 00:42:13,199 --> 00:42:14,200 All right. 668 00:42:14,242 --> 00:42:17,704 In one two, one two three four. 669 00:42:17,746 --> 00:42:30,842 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 670 00:42:30,884 --> 00:42:32,177 Can you feel it, Harold? 671 00:42:32,218 --> 00:42:34,095 There's a new spirit in here, and it's great. 672 00:42:34,137 --> 00:42:37,098 You've got another full week to enjoy before the ax falls. 673 00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:39,059 Well, I'd hate to be the one to close down 674 00:42:39,100 --> 00:42:40,685 a school with the winning football team 675 00:42:40,727 --> 00:42:42,604 and a rousing halftime show. 676 00:42:42,645 --> 00:42:43,355 You don't have to. 677 00:42:43,396 --> 00:42:46,316 That's my job. 678 00:42:46,358 --> 00:42:49,861 After school what say we drop by the video arcade and you can 679 00:42:49,903 --> 00:42:52,989 watch whilst I dazzle one and all with my uncanny 680 00:42:53,031 --> 00:42:55,200 hand-eye coordination. 681 00:42:55,241 --> 00:42:57,035 No, no, I don't think so, Ernest. 682 00:42:57,077 --> 00:42:58,286 We could go by the park and you 683 00:42:58,328 --> 00:42:59,954 could see how many games of chess 684 00:42:59,996 --> 00:43:01,831 I could play simultaneously. 685 00:43:01,873 --> 00:43:04,167 No, you don't need us to do any of that stuff. 686 00:43:04,209 --> 00:43:07,253 Besides, I have to study, not like some people I know. 687 00:43:07,295 --> 00:43:09,673 As I've told you before, I've learned that secret 688 00:43:09,714 --> 00:43:11,925 to unlocking the powers of the mind. 689 00:43:11,966 --> 00:43:14,427 Yeah, well, however it works I don't know how to do it. 690 00:43:14,469 --> 00:43:16,096 So-- 691 00:43:16,137 --> 00:43:19,683 My good man, would you happen to have any sauce venais 692 00:43:19,724 --> 00:43:21,851 for this meatloaf ordinaire? 693 00:43:24,896 --> 00:43:26,981 Fresh cilantro? Picante salsa? 694 00:43:30,151 --> 00:43:31,736 We got ketchup. 695 00:43:31,778 --> 00:43:34,781 That's what I like to eat it with. 696 00:43:34,823 --> 00:43:36,825 Yes, I bet you do. 697 00:43:40,078 --> 00:43:43,957 You know Ernest, you've turned into a real jerk. 698 00:43:43,998 --> 00:43:45,667 I liked you a lot better when you weren't so smart. 699 00:43:49,337 --> 00:43:51,965 GERTA: Yeah, that should do it, Bobby. 700 00:43:52,007 --> 00:43:53,842 Now the machine's perfect. 701 00:43:53,883 --> 00:43:57,804 Oh, I cannot wait to try this on a real human brain! 702 00:43:57,846 --> 00:44:00,807 But, until then, Ernest will have to do. 703 00:44:00,849 --> 00:44:02,142 Wakey, wakey, fellas. 704 00:44:02,183 --> 00:44:03,977 I'm running late this morning and I've got 705 00:44:04,019 --> 00:44:05,979 lots of important things to do. 706 00:44:06,021 --> 00:44:08,773 Yes, good morning to you, too, Ernest. 707 00:44:08,815 --> 00:44:10,316 We have made some slight modifications 708 00:44:10,358 --> 00:44:12,819 that I think is going to make this baby work even better. 709 00:44:12,861 --> 00:44:16,322 Gerta, I'm sure that's all very fascinating to someone 710 00:44:16,364 --> 00:44:18,158 who really cares. 711 00:44:18,199 --> 00:44:20,285 But could we please dispense with the small talk 712 00:44:20,326 --> 00:44:22,495 and get on with this? 713 00:44:22,537 --> 00:44:23,997 Come, Bobby. 714 00:44:24,039 --> 00:44:26,332 We've got a very important person here. 715 00:44:26,374 --> 00:44:30,045 Wouldn't want to waste any of his valuable time. 716 00:44:30,086 --> 00:44:31,838 Thank you. 717 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,382 [machines whirring] 718 00:44:52,317 --> 00:44:56,112 There, that's more like it. 719 00:44:56,154 --> 00:44:57,489 And the next time, would you both 720 00:44:57,530 --> 00:44:59,741 try to be ready when I get here? 721 00:44:59,783 --> 00:45:02,452 I'm on a very tight schedule and having to wait on you 722 00:45:02,494 --> 00:45:05,121 two doesn't make things any easier. 723 00:45:05,163 --> 00:45:08,083 Good day. 724 00:45:08,124 --> 00:45:11,127 Being smart hasn't done a lot for Ernest's personality. 725 00:45:11,169 --> 00:45:16,174 Got a pretty high opinion of himself, for a lab rat. 726 00:45:16,216 --> 00:45:18,218 Bobby, what is this? 727 00:45:18,259 --> 00:45:20,261 You've held the power back on him? 728 00:45:20,303 --> 00:45:23,056 Ernest will only be smart for another 38 minutes! 729 00:45:23,098 --> 00:45:24,766 Why, Bobby? 730 00:45:24,808 --> 00:45:28,061 Why, Bobby, you devil. 731 00:45:31,106 --> 00:45:32,440 [bell rings] 732 00:45:32,482 --> 00:45:34,109 FEMALE TEACHER: All right, now class, settle down. 733 00:45:34,150 --> 00:45:36,820 Settle down now please. 734 00:45:36,861 --> 00:45:37,487 Settle. 735 00:45:41,366 --> 00:45:46,287 Today we'll be continuing our study of America in the 1800's. 736 00:45:46,329 --> 00:45:50,000 This was truly a century of great unrest, 737 00:45:50,041 --> 00:45:53,086 mixed with major strides forward as the United 738 00:45:53,128 --> 00:45:56,381 States began to take its place on the world stage. 739 00:45:56,423 --> 00:45:58,341 Blah, blah, blah, blah blah. 740 00:45:58,383 --> 00:45:59,926 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 741 00:45:59,968 --> 00:46:02,929 Ah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. 742 00:46:02,971 --> 00:46:05,265 Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 743 00:46:05,306 --> 00:46:07,851 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 744 00:46:07,892 --> 00:46:08,852 Blah, blah, blah. 745 00:46:08,893 --> 00:46:10,270 Blah, blah, blah. 746 00:46:10,311 --> 00:46:11,813 Blah, blah blah. 747 00:46:11,855 --> 00:46:13,231 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 748 00:46:13,273 --> 00:46:14,816 Uh blah, blah, blah, blah. 749 00:46:14,858 --> 00:46:16,359 Blah, blah. 750 00:46:16,401 --> 00:46:20,905 And so, I hope you all can see what an exciting period 751 00:46:20,947 --> 00:46:22,907 of history this was. 752 00:46:22,949 --> 00:46:25,618 Now we only have time for one report today. 753 00:46:25,660 --> 00:46:28,580 Who'd like to give theirs? 754 00:46:28,621 --> 00:46:29,456 Ernest? 755 00:46:34,461 --> 00:46:36,046 Well it's about time. 756 00:46:40,050 --> 00:46:42,469 Thank you. 757 00:46:42,510 --> 00:46:46,306 While I'm sure most of you have heard of Seward's Folly, 758 00:46:46,348 --> 00:46:48,933 I am equally sure that none of you 759 00:46:48,975 --> 00:46:51,561 understand the important historical significance 760 00:46:51,603 --> 00:46:53,605 of this momentous event. 761 00:46:53,646 --> 00:46:56,900 I refer to, of course, the Alas-- haha, 762 00:46:56,941 --> 00:46:59,569 the Alaska purchase. 763 00:46:59,611 --> 00:47:05,909 (NORMAL VOICE RETURNING) The year, um, 1867. 764 00:47:05,950 --> 00:47:10,163 The man William He-He-He Henry Seward. 765 00:47:10,205 --> 00:47:13,875 He was a prom-a-ha-na hey-nada ha-nada 766 00:47:13,917 --> 00:47:16,920 the United States senator. 767 00:47:16,961 --> 00:47:24,052 Who can be-he ca-ha me-he uh-coh hon-uh --gressman. 768 00:47:24,094 --> 00:47:25,303 That he be-he na-had 769 00:47:25,345 --> 00:47:28,640 [stumbles over words] 770 00:47:32,227 --> 00:47:33,478 Thank you. 771 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,272 [ERNEST MAKES UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS] 772 00:47:52,163 --> 00:47:53,123 Wacka. 773 00:47:53,164 --> 00:47:54,082 Wacka, wacka, wacka. 774 00:48:00,130 --> 00:48:02,007 Come, Ernest, come. 775 00:48:05,135 --> 00:48:07,637 Bobby just speculated a little lesson. 776 00:48:07,679 --> 00:48:10,306 He didn't mean anything by it. 777 00:48:10,348 --> 00:48:13,059 Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka. 778 00:48:13,101 --> 00:48:15,270 What's that, Lassie? 779 00:48:15,311 --> 00:48:16,271 Timmy's in trouble? 780 00:48:19,399 --> 00:48:20,275 Did you get it? 781 00:48:26,781 --> 00:48:30,702 (INTELLIGENTLY) Show business is my life, people. 782 00:48:30,744 --> 00:48:32,537 And if there's one thing I've learned 783 00:48:32,579 --> 00:48:36,041 in this crazy, mixed up biz, is you've got 784 00:48:36,082 --> 00:48:38,251 to give them what they want. 785 00:48:38,293 --> 00:48:41,087 You've got to razzle them and dazzle them. 786 00:48:41,129 --> 00:48:45,592 Astound them and amaze them and leave them begging for more. 787 00:48:45,633 --> 00:48:50,472 Now, listen up because I'm only going to say this once. 788 00:48:50,513 --> 00:48:56,186 If you lose your place and don't know what to do watch me. 789 00:48:56,227 --> 00:48:58,980 If the crowd makes you nervous-- 790 00:48:59,022 --> 00:49:01,358 ALL: Watch me. 791 00:49:01,399 --> 00:49:04,652 Tubas, if we get fatigued on that last credenza 792 00:49:04,694 --> 00:49:07,030 what are we going to do? 793 00:49:07,072 --> 00:49:08,615 ALL: Watch me. 794 00:49:08,656 --> 00:49:10,367 ERNEST: All right, now from the top. 795 00:49:10,408 --> 00:49:14,037 And flag twirlers, I want you to wave those flags 796 00:49:14,079 --> 00:49:15,455 like patriotic zealots. 797 00:49:15,497 --> 00:49:16,623 All right. 798 00:49:16,664 --> 00:49:20,543 A one a two, a one two three four. 799 00:49:20,585 --> 00:49:23,672 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 800 00:49:38,103 --> 00:49:39,354 All right. 801 00:49:39,396 --> 00:49:42,273 Well Wanda hits the gong as fireworks queue, 802 00:49:42,315 --> 00:49:43,525 I hit the kettle drum. 803 00:49:43,566 --> 00:49:45,068 Rocket, rocket, rocket. 804 00:49:45,110 --> 00:49:46,611 I hit the xylophone. 805 00:49:46,653 --> 00:49:49,114 Rocket, rocket, rocket. 806 00:49:49,155 --> 00:49:50,490 They've been working so hard. 807 00:49:50,532 --> 00:49:52,033 All they can think about is the firework 808 00:49:52,075 --> 00:49:53,576 display at the homecoming. 809 00:49:53,618 --> 00:49:55,328 I'm sure they will be just fine 810 00:49:55,370 --> 00:49:58,373 as long as they keep it short and don't try to embarrass-- 811 00:49:58,415 --> 00:49:59,582 what band is this? 812 00:49:59,624 --> 00:50:01,167 That's Earnest. 813 00:50:01,209 --> 00:50:02,085 I mean that's us. 814 00:50:04,838 --> 00:50:07,132 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 815 00:50:07,173 --> 00:50:09,300 Wrong, all wrong. 816 00:50:09,342 --> 00:50:10,844 MISS FLUGAL: Ernest? 817 00:50:10,885 --> 00:50:13,304 Ernest, Mr. Procter would like to have a word with you. 818 00:50:16,683 --> 00:50:18,393 Take five everyone. 819 00:50:24,566 --> 00:50:26,526 Miss Flugal tells me you've completely turned 820 00:50:26,568 --> 00:50:27,777 around the program, Ernest! 821 00:50:27,819 --> 00:50:29,446 Congratulations son. 822 00:50:29,487 --> 00:50:32,824 You have no idea what this could mean for our school. 823 00:50:32,866 --> 00:50:34,534 Thank you, sir. 824 00:50:34,576 --> 00:50:36,077 It's a shame our performance will have to be interrupted 825 00:50:36,119 --> 00:50:39,831 by a mere football game. 826 00:50:39,873 --> 00:50:41,499 Well, yes. 827 00:50:41,541 --> 00:50:45,211 Keep up the good work and good luck tomorrow night. 828 00:50:45,253 --> 00:50:46,421 Thank you, sir. 829 00:50:46,463 --> 00:50:50,216 Oh, I'll be right with you. 830 00:50:50,258 --> 00:50:52,302 Ernest, I-- 831 00:50:52,344 --> 00:50:54,346 Yes? 832 00:50:54,387 --> 00:50:57,140 There's a dance after the game tomorrow night 833 00:50:57,182 --> 00:50:59,684 and I have to chaperone. 834 00:50:59,726 --> 00:51:02,562 So I was wondering if you'd like to go with me? 835 00:51:02,604 --> 00:51:06,816 Well I, I haven't checked my schedule but um, 836 00:51:06,858 --> 00:51:07,776 I think I'm free. 837 00:51:13,948 --> 00:51:15,784 People, people! 838 00:51:15,825 --> 00:51:17,410 Once more from the top. 839 00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:20,789 And this time with feeling! 840 00:51:20,830 --> 00:51:23,708 [students chatting] 841 00:51:49,984 --> 00:51:52,237 [cheering] 842 00:51:52,278 --> 00:51:53,446 CHICK (OVER PA): Chick Hansen here. 843 00:51:53,488 --> 00:51:55,573 Well, it's a gorgeous fall evening. 844 00:51:55,615 --> 00:51:57,617 And it's been an all Muskrat first half 845 00:51:57,659 --> 00:52:01,830 as we've managed to skunk the Knights of Regal View. 846 00:52:01,871 --> 00:52:04,541 Star quarterback Brad Spinx has never looked better 847 00:52:04,582 --> 00:52:07,252 at finding his receivers as the Muskrats again drive 848 00:52:07,293 --> 00:52:10,714 deep into Knight territory. 849 00:52:10,755 --> 00:52:14,217 [cheering] 850 00:52:20,306 --> 00:52:22,642 That's another six for the Muskrats. 851 00:52:22,684 --> 00:52:25,937 This homecoming crowd has really got our boys fired up. 852 00:52:31,026 --> 00:52:33,653 Way to go, girls. 853 00:52:33,695 --> 00:52:34,529 Bravo. 854 00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:47,375 I am so excited. 855 00:52:47,417 --> 00:52:50,837 Look at this crowd, I've never seen so many people. 856 00:52:50,879 --> 00:52:53,298 A fitting audience for my crowning triumph 857 00:52:53,340 --> 00:52:56,509 as drum major to the stars, don't you think? 858 00:52:56,551 --> 00:52:58,720 I just hope everything goes all right. 859 00:52:58,762 --> 00:53:01,514 Don't you worry your pretty little head about that. 860 00:53:01,556 --> 00:53:04,684 As long as my youngsters remember the number one rule, 861 00:53:04,726 --> 00:53:06,686 everything will be just fine. 862 00:53:06,728 --> 00:53:08,271 And what's that rule? 863 00:53:08,313 --> 00:53:10,315 ALL: Watch me. 864 00:53:10,357 --> 00:53:11,232 You see? 865 00:53:11,274 --> 00:53:12,233 What could go wrong? 866 00:53:15,445 --> 00:53:16,529 Ernest, where are you going? 867 00:53:16,571 --> 00:53:18,615 Oh, I just remembered I, I left 868 00:53:18,656 --> 00:53:19,616 something in the band room. 869 00:53:19,657 --> 00:53:21,368 I'll be right back. 870 00:53:21,409 --> 00:53:23,328 Well you better be, Ernest, everybody is counting on you. 871 00:53:23,370 --> 00:53:25,372 Would a King miss his own coronation? 872 00:53:25,413 --> 00:53:26,289 I think not. 873 00:53:29,918 --> 00:53:33,338 [crying] 874 00:53:38,301 --> 00:53:39,386 (NORMAL VOICE) What happened here? 875 00:53:43,306 --> 00:53:45,433 The came like thieves in the night 876 00:53:45,475 --> 00:53:50,438 and attacked cruelly and without provocation. 877 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,899 Who would do such a thing? 878 00:53:52,941 --> 00:53:54,901 People chose with small minds. 879 00:53:54,943 --> 00:53:59,072 Defenders of the status quo, afraid of a brave new world. 880 00:53:59,114 --> 00:54:01,533 Philistines, barbarians. 881 00:54:01,574 --> 00:54:03,451 Republicans, who knows? 882 00:54:06,538 --> 00:54:08,665 Well, can you fix it? 883 00:54:08,707 --> 00:54:11,042 Oh sure, Ernest, let me just get this knot out. 884 00:54:14,879 --> 00:54:17,507 What am I gonna do? 885 00:54:17,549 --> 00:54:20,093 I can't go out there like this. 886 00:54:20,135 --> 00:54:21,928 I'm just me. 887 00:54:21,970 --> 00:54:25,432 (GULPS) Oh. 888 00:54:25,473 --> 00:54:28,643 [drumline playing] 889 00:54:32,022 --> 00:54:34,065 CHICK (ON PA): And now, the marching 890 00:54:34,107 --> 00:54:38,028 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls. 891 00:54:38,069 --> 00:54:38,987 Where's Ernest? 892 00:54:39,029 --> 00:54:39,988 I don't know. 893 00:54:40,030 --> 00:54:41,656 But we've got to go on now. 894 00:54:48,121 --> 00:54:49,748 I've seen these kids rehearsing. 895 00:54:49,789 --> 00:54:51,041 It was quite impressive. 896 00:54:51,082 --> 00:54:52,584 (SARCASTICALLY) I'm on the edge of my seat. 897 00:54:59,549 --> 00:55:00,967 Well, it's about time. 898 00:55:01,009 --> 00:55:02,719 We've got to go back. We can't go on. 899 00:55:02,761 --> 00:55:04,346 This will never work. 900 00:55:04,387 --> 00:55:06,056 It's too late for that, the show's already started. 901 00:55:06,097 --> 00:55:07,849 I've got to tell you something, 902 00:55:07,891 --> 00:55:09,768 it's not what you think. 903 00:55:09,809 --> 00:55:11,686 I'm not really smart. 904 00:55:11,728 --> 00:55:14,064 You get up there. 905 00:55:14,105 --> 00:55:16,399 Remember what you told me? 906 00:55:16,441 --> 00:55:18,818 Watch me. 907 00:55:18,860 --> 00:55:19,694 Go. 908 00:55:32,165 --> 00:55:35,627 [daunting music] 909 00:55:46,054 --> 00:55:56,564 [wind blowing] 910 00:55:56,606 --> 00:55:58,650 Oh. 911 00:55:58,692 --> 00:55:59,484 Uh. 912 00:56:09,536 --> 00:56:16,835 [baton tapping] One two, one two three four. 913 00:56:16,876 --> 00:56:19,963 [MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "THE WASHINGTON POST"] 914 00:56:37,647 --> 00:56:40,567 CHICK (ON PA): How about those marching Muskrats! 915 00:56:40,608 --> 00:56:43,945 [audience applause] 916 00:56:52,037 --> 00:56:52,996 ERNEST: Yelp. 917 00:56:53,038 --> 00:56:54,956 Help. 918 00:56:54,998 --> 00:56:57,959 Ah. 919 00:56:58,001 --> 00:57:01,588 Ah, ah. 920 00:57:01,629 --> 00:57:04,924 [audience laughing] 921 00:57:11,598 --> 00:57:12,557 Yeow. 922 00:57:12,599 --> 00:57:13,933 Whoah. 923 00:57:13,975 --> 00:57:16,936 Whoah. 924 00:57:16,978 --> 00:57:22,942 Whoa, wah ho. 925 00:57:22,984 --> 00:57:26,488 [band plays off key] 926 00:57:38,541 --> 00:57:41,836 [ernest yells] 927 00:57:46,549 --> 00:57:50,887 ERNEST (MUFFLED IN TUBA): Oh, oh, uh, oh. 928 00:57:50,929 --> 00:57:52,222 Get me outta here. 929 00:57:59,938 --> 00:58:01,898 Help me get outta here. 930 00:58:01,940 --> 00:58:03,817 Help me get outta here. 931 00:58:21,876 --> 00:58:24,212 Help me, help, get me outta here. 932 00:58:28,299 --> 00:58:30,260 [fireworks whistling] 933 00:58:30,301 --> 00:58:32,220 Run, run! 934 00:58:32,262 --> 00:58:35,181 [screaming] 935 00:58:57,871 --> 00:59:00,790 [ernest screams for help] 936 00:59:00,832 --> 00:59:02,792 FIREFIGHTER: Come on, come on. 937 00:59:02,834 --> 00:59:04,753 Get the hose on, lets go, huh! 938 00:59:23,813 --> 00:59:24,773 It's your fault! 939 00:59:24,814 --> 00:59:26,024 I hold you responsible. 940 00:59:26,066 --> 00:59:27,359 I never should have allowed you to let 941 00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:28,693 Ernest take over this program! 942 00:59:36,785 --> 00:59:40,080 [ernest moaning] 943 01:00:06,773 --> 01:00:09,234 I know I let everybody down. 944 01:00:13,071 --> 01:00:14,698 I had my chance and I blew it. 945 01:00:17,909 --> 01:00:23,123 I'm sorry about everything I'm sorry I'm me. 946 01:00:49,816 --> 01:00:51,276 Good-bye my faithful locker. 947 01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,197 Good-bye my little monkey wrench. 948 01:01:00,243 --> 01:01:02,912 You coping saws seem to be taking this very well. 949 01:01:08,501 --> 01:01:11,087 I really blew it this time, didn't I, Mister Needle-nose? 950 01:01:11,129 --> 01:01:12,505 (AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS) You sure did, Ernest. 951 01:01:12,547 --> 01:01:14,758 You let the whole school down. 952 01:01:14,799 --> 01:01:16,843 (NORMAL VOICE) I let the whole school down. 953 01:01:16,885 --> 01:01:19,387 (AS NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS) You let Miss Flugal down. 954 01:01:19,429 --> 01:01:21,348 (NORMAL VOICE) I let Miss Flugal down. 955 01:01:21,389 --> 01:01:23,350 DONALD: You treated Donald like scum. 956 01:01:23,391 --> 01:01:25,977 I treated Donald like scum. 957 01:01:26,019 --> 01:01:27,979 RODNEY: And you acted like a real jerk to everybody. 958 01:01:28,021 --> 01:01:30,190 I acted like a real jerk to everybody. 959 01:01:30,231 --> 01:01:33,234 And now I got to study just like everybody else. 960 01:01:33,276 --> 01:01:36,071 And now I have to study like e-- 961 01:01:36,112 --> 01:01:38,073 wait a minute! 962 01:01:38,114 --> 01:01:39,908 That's not your voice! 963 01:01:39,949 --> 01:01:41,951 Didn't think you'd get out of that easily, did you, Ernest? 964 01:01:41,993 --> 01:01:44,120 You have to take a test like the rest of us. 965 01:01:44,162 --> 01:01:49,000 Yeah, we're gonna tutor you til you scream for mercy. 966 01:01:49,042 --> 01:01:51,169 Are you sure there's not another way? 967 01:01:51,211 --> 01:01:54,881 No, you're just going to have to study. 968 01:01:54,923 --> 01:01:56,883 Gosh! 969 01:01:56,925 --> 01:01:58,885 What's the predominant element in bones? 970 01:01:58,927 --> 01:02:00,095 Who shot Abraham Lincoln? 971 01:02:00,136 --> 01:02:01,137 What's the fifth most common element? 972 01:02:01,179 --> 01:02:02,055 Yogurt. 973 01:02:02,097 --> 01:02:03,306 Cheese. 974 01:02:03,348 --> 01:02:04,516 Some guy with a gun. 975 01:02:04,557 --> 01:02:05,892 Not dairy products, Ernest. 976 01:02:05,934 --> 01:02:07,102 What guy? 977 01:02:07,143 --> 01:02:08,812 Great potato famine of mid 1800's. 978 01:02:08,853 --> 01:02:09,896 Chalk. 979 01:02:09,938 --> 01:02:11,356 Um, the Klingons! 980 01:02:11,398 --> 01:02:12,399 No! 981 01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:13,858 - Colonel Sanders. - No. 982 01:02:13,900 --> 01:02:14,859 Abraham Lincoln. 983 01:02:14,901 --> 01:02:15,777 The Penguin! 984 01:02:15,819 --> 01:02:17,779 This is hopeless! 985 01:02:17,821 --> 01:02:18,822 Elements. 986 01:02:18,863 --> 01:02:19,864 Wyatt Earp. 987 01:02:19,906 --> 01:02:21,491 Elephants. - What country? 988 01:02:21,533 --> 01:02:22,867 Are you sure it's not the penguin? 989 01:02:22,909 --> 01:02:24,577 Idaho. ALL: We're sure! 990 01:02:24,619 --> 01:02:26,246 - Country. - Ivory. 991 01:02:26,287 --> 01:02:27,247 Garth Brooks. 992 01:02:27,288 --> 01:02:30,458 [rodney groans] 993 01:02:32,460 --> 01:02:34,546 Helium. 994 01:02:34,587 --> 01:02:37,507 Nine to the fifth power. 995 01:02:37,549 --> 01:02:40,093 Seward's Folly. 996 01:02:40,135 --> 01:02:43,513 54 40 or fight. 997 01:02:43,555 --> 01:02:46,099 Agriculture. 998 01:02:46,141 --> 01:02:49,310 [snoring] 999 01:02:54,441 --> 01:02:56,401 RODNEY (ON PA): Rockin' Rodney, here. 1000 01:02:56,443 --> 01:02:59,821 Today's question is who set fire to the Ironman float 1001 01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:02,032 last night after the pep rally? 1002 01:03:02,073 --> 01:03:05,243 And quite frankly, how do we thank these people? 1003 01:03:05,285 --> 01:03:07,203 Got the big one this weekend. 1004 01:03:07,245 --> 01:03:09,372 Got the district finals, got a chance 1005 01:03:09,414 --> 01:03:12,167 to win the whole enchilada. 1006 01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:14,544 Hey, were going to be football heroes! 1007 01:03:14,586 --> 01:03:18,381 Yeah, fighting Muskrats taking their place in history. 1008 01:03:18,423 --> 01:03:21,343 Oh yeah. 1009 01:03:21,384 --> 01:03:22,302 Ernest! 1010 01:03:22,344 --> 01:03:23,261 OK. 1011 01:03:23,303 --> 01:03:24,137 Here we go. 1012 01:03:24,179 --> 01:03:25,555 The big test. 1013 01:03:25,597 --> 01:03:29,142 Now all you have to do is relax and concentrate. 1014 01:03:29,184 --> 01:03:30,518 My brain hurts. 1015 01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:32,312 I think it's broke. 1016 01:03:32,354 --> 01:03:34,439 I don't think man was supposed to have this much knowledge, 1017 01:03:34,481 --> 01:03:35,899 know what I mean? [banging from locker] 1018 01:03:35,940 --> 01:03:37,275 GERTA: Ernest, open up! 1019 01:03:40,236 --> 01:03:41,988 We fixed it! 1020 01:03:42,030 --> 01:03:43,531 I never thought we could do it so fast 1021 01:03:43,573 --> 01:03:45,492 but when Bobby sets his mind to something, let me tell you, 1022 01:03:45,533 --> 01:03:47,369 there is just no stopping him. 1023 01:03:47,410 --> 01:03:48,495 That's great! 1024 01:03:48,536 --> 01:03:49,954 That means now I can pass for sure. 1025 01:03:49,996 --> 01:03:50,872 GERTA: Yes siree! 1026 01:03:50,914 --> 01:03:52,415 Ya vol! 1027 01:03:52,457 --> 01:03:54,000 We got a new and improved brain accelerator that is just 1028 01:03:54,042 --> 01:03:55,293 waiting for you to plug into. 1029 01:03:55,335 --> 01:03:57,587 OK? 1030 01:03:57,629 --> 01:03:59,547 Thanks anyway, Gerta, but I think 1031 01:03:59,589 --> 01:04:02,050 I better do this one on my own. 1032 01:04:02,092 --> 01:04:05,220 You're joking! 1033 01:04:05,261 --> 01:04:07,639 GERTA: Ernest, what about science? 1034 01:04:07,681 --> 01:04:09,557 What about the Nobel Prize? 1035 01:04:09,599 --> 01:04:11,518 What about giving us a break, we need you! 1036 01:04:11,559 --> 01:04:13,436 We can't afford a chimp! 1037 01:04:13,478 --> 01:04:16,940 [students chatting] 1038 01:04:16,981 --> 01:04:20,276 [hitting desk] 1039 01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:24,072 All right, students. 1040 01:04:24,114 --> 01:04:25,198 No talking. 1041 01:04:25,240 --> 01:04:28,702 No wandering eyes. 1042 01:04:28,743 --> 01:04:31,705 Ready, begin! 1043 01:04:31,746 --> 01:04:35,250 [ominous music] 1044 01:05:22,630 --> 01:05:26,134 [metal clinking] 1045 01:05:32,223 --> 01:05:35,518 [clock ticking] 1046 01:05:37,228 --> 01:05:40,523 [fly buzzing] 1047 01:06:03,588 --> 01:06:05,131 [fly buzzes quietly] 1048 01:06:05,173 --> 01:06:08,635 [footsteps] 1049 01:06:08,677 --> 01:06:12,806 Is there a problem Mr. Worrell? 1050 01:06:12,847 --> 01:06:13,723 No, ma'am. 1051 01:06:22,357 --> 01:06:25,652 [fly buzzing] 1052 01:06:45,213 --> 01:06:48,133 [teacher burps] 1053 01:06:48,174 --> 01:06:51,428 [clock ticking] 1054 01:06:55,098 --> 01:06:58,393 [grunting] 1055 01:07:01,104 --> 01:07:02,605 How did it go, Ernest? 1056 01:07:02,647 --> 01:07:05,608 I don't know, it's it's all just kind of a blur. 1057 01:07:05,650 --> 01:07:07,235 Know what I mean? 1058 01:07:07,277 --> 01:07:11,322 Well whatever happens, I'm proud of you. 1059 01:07:11,364 --> 01:07:12,532 Come on. 1060 01:07:12,574 --> 01:07:13,450 Come on. 1061 01:07:21,249 --> 01:07:22,625 Chick Hansen here. 1062 01:07:22,667 --> 01:07:25,086 Well it's a perfect crisp afternoon for a game. 1063 01:07:25,128 --> 01:07:26,713 And what a game we've got! 1064 01:07:26,755 --> 01:07:29,466 It's a once in a lifetime David and Goliath match up 1065 01:07:29,507 --> 01:07:31,092 between our own fighting Muskrats 1066 01:07:31,134 --> 01:07:33,595 of Chickasaw Falls and the undefeated Ironman 1067 01:07:33,636 --> 01:07:35,513 of Central High. 1068 01:07:35,555 --> 01:07:37,349 A school that produces championship teams 1069 01:07:37,390 --> 01:07:39,142 is not the kind of school that should be closed. 1070 01:07:39,184 --> 01:07:40,602 Wouldn't you agree, Miss Nichols. 1071 01:07:40,643 --> 01:07:42,312 Oh, well, as a private individual I do agree with you. 1072 01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:44,564 But as chairperson of the school board, of course 1073 01:07:44,606 --> 01:07:46,316 I'm trying to keep an open mind. 1074 01:07:46,358 --> 01:07:48,610 Anyway the question is moot because Central is going to win 1075 01:07:48,651 --> 01:07:50,320 today and they'll be champion. 1076 01:07:50,362 --> 01:07:51,571 Oh yeah, is that right? 1077 01:07:51,613 --> 01:07:52,697 MALE STUDENT: Hey Principal Procter, 1078 01:07:52,739 --> 01:07:53,615 can I see you a second? 1079 01:07:53,656 --> 01:07:54,574 Excuse me. 1080 01:07:54,616 --> 01:08:03,333 [drumline playing] 1081 01:08:03,375 --> 01:08:04,417 Knock 'em dead, Ernest. 1082 01:08:08,380 --> 01:08:11,675 [groans] 1083 01:08:15,345 --> 01:08:17,263 CHICK (OK PA): Ladies and gentlemen, the lady 1084 01:08:17,305 --> 01:08:19,182 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls! 1085 01:08:24,396 --> 01:08:26,523 AXWELL: Slow down a minute, Coach, we need to talk. 1086 01:08:26,564 --> 01:08:28,274 Nah, this is not a good time for me. 1087 01:08:28,316 --> 01:08:30,193 You've heard about my plans to close your high school. 1088 01:08:30,235 --> 01:08:31,444 Yeah, yeah, I've heard. 1089 01:08:31,486 --> 01:08:32,779 Well, I've got a little problem that I 1090 01:08:32,821 --> 01:08:34,364 think you can help me with. 1091 01:08:34,406 --> 01:08:35,615 COACH: What? 1092 01:08:35,657 --> 01:08:37,784 If you win today, you'll be district 1093 01:08:37,826 --> 01:08:40,704 champs and that'll make things a lot harder for me. 1094 01:08:40,745 --> 01:08:41,621 Well we're gonna win! 1095 01:08:41,663 --> 01:08:43,373 We're gonna whoop 'em! 1096 01:08:43,415 --> 01:08:44,833 I don't see how I can help ya. 1097 01:08:44,874 --> 01:08:48,461 You can make sure your team loses. 1098 01:08:48,503 --> 01:08:51,297 Why would I want to do that? 1099 01:08:51,339 --> 01:08:54,467 If you lose, I'll guarantee you 1100 01:08:54,509 --> 01:08:58,513 the job of head coach of Central High when we merge the schools. 1101 01:09:05,353 --> 01:09:06,730 I don't know. 1102 01:09:06,771 --> 01:09:08,440 Chickasaw Falls will close anyway, you might as 1103 01:09:08,481 --> 01:09:09,524 well get something out of it. 1104 01:09:19,909 --> 01:09:21,327 We could've beat those guys. 1105 01:09:21,369 --> 01:09:22,746 So what? 1106 01:09:22,787 --> 01:09:25,206 A week from now nobody'll remember who won what. 1107 01:09:29,294 --> 01:09:31,671 We could beat those guys. 1108 01:09:31,713 --> 01:09:32,714 Could've beat them! [knocking] 1109 01:09:32,756 --> 01:09:33,715 RODNEY: Hey! 1110 01:09:33,757 --> 01:09:35,633 Somebody get me outta here! 1111 01:09:35,675 --> 01:09:37,010 [whistle blows] 1112 01:09:37,052 --> 01:09:39,012 All right, boys, bring it on in here. 1113 01:09:39,054 --> 01:09:40,013 Lets go! 1114 01:09:40,055 --> 01:09:43,516 [team cheering] 1115 01:09:51,941 --> 01:09:53,860 All right, listen up fellas. 1116 01:09:53,902 --> 01:09:55,403 I got a new game plan. 1117 01:09:58,448 --> 01:10:01,743 [dramatic music] 1118 01:10:04,829 --> 01:10:07,374 CHICK (ON PA): This is certainly not the caliber of football 1119 01:10:07,415 --> 01:10:09,751 we've come to expect from Coach Decker 1120 01:10:09,793 --> 01:10:11,378 and his fighting Muskrats. 1121 01:10:11,419 --> 01:10:13,713 The Ironmen seem to have our Muskrats 1122 01:10:13,755 --> 01:10:15,674 completely fooled out there. 1123 01:10:21,304 --> 01:10:26,267 And that's another six, now seven points for the Ironmen, 1124 01:10:26,309 --> 01:10:31,314 which puts our Muskrats at a pathetic 18 to zip. 1125 01:10:31,356 --> 01:10:34,567 Well the good news is the first half is almost over. 1126 01:10:34,609 --> 01:10:36,569 The bad news is there's still another 30 1127 01:10:36,611 --> 01:10:38,697 minutes of this massacre to go. 1128 01:10:38,738 --> 01:10:40,073 [banging] 1129 01:10:40,115 --> 01:10:41,074 RODNEY: I'm in here. 1130 01:10:41,116 --> 01:10:42,075 Could you let me out? 1131 01:10:42,117 --> 01:10:43,535 Hey! 1132 01:10:43,576 --> 01:10:45,036 Hey, if anyone's out there, I'm in here. 1133 01:10:45,078 --> 01:10:46,037 Could you let me out? 1134 01:10:46,079 --> 01:10:48,623 You gotta let me outta here. 1135 01:10:48,665 --> 01:10:49,541 Well, hey! 1136 01:10:52,836 --> 01:10:55,505 Ah, I owe ya one, pal. 1137 01:10:55,547 --> 01:10:58,842 I love this guy! 1138 01:10:58,883 --> 01:11:01,428 [crowd boos] 1139 01:11:01,469 --> 01:11:02,971 Look out. Comin' through. 1140 01:11:03,013 --> 01:11:03,805 Look out, squirt. 1141 01:11:06,725 --> 01:11:08,351 Rodney, where have you been? 1142 01:11:08,393 --> 01:11:09,811 Oh, man, it's a long story. 1143 01:11:09,853 --> 01:11:11,604 But here it goes. 1144 01:11:11,646 --> 01:11:13,398 That Axwell guy, he talked Coach Decker into throwing the game. 1145 01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:14,107 What? 1146 01:11:14,149 --> 01:11:15,483 They can't do that! 1147 01:11:15,525 --> 01:11:17,402 Well, who's going to stop them? 1148 01:11:17,444 --> 01:11:18,111 We are! 1149 01:11:18,153 --> 01:11:19,654 Yeah, right. 1150 01:11:19,696 --> 01:11:20,947 With what? 1151 01:11:20,989 --> 01:11:21,948 Don't you see? 1152 01:11:21,990 --> 01:11:24,451 We're the last line of defense. 1153 01:11:24,492 --> 01:11:26,786 It's the Battle of the Bulge and it's up to us 1154 01:11:26,828 --> 01:11:29,956 to hold the Greek hoards off the Pacific fleet. 1155 01:11:29,998 --> 01:11:30,999 So what do we do, Ernest? 1156 01:11:34,586 --> 01:11:37,005 Luckily, I've got an idea I've been saving 1157 01:11:37,047 --> 01:11:39,466 for just such an occasion. 1158 01:11:39,507 --> 01:11:40,800 Does this make water? Does it? 1159 01:11:40,842 --> 01:11:41,968 We need your help! 1160 01:11:42,010 --> 01:11:43,803 The fate of our school depends on us. 1161 01:11:43,845 --> 01:11:47,432 Bobby, for Chickasaw Falls. 1162 01:11:47,474 --> 01:11:50,602 For truth, justice, and the Germanic American way. 1163 01:11:50,643 --> 01:11:52,062 [speaking german] Um. 1164 01:11:52,103 --> 01:11:53,730 - Maisy. - Maisy. 1165 01:11:53,772 --> 01:11:54,981 Great, OK. 1166 01:11:55,023 --> 01:11:56,107 Ernest is going to stall as long as he can. 1167 01:11:56,149 --> 01:11:57,901 Here's what we need. - OK. 1168 01:11:57,942 --> 01:11:59,110 OK, we're going to need some sleeping gas with gas masks-- 1169 01:11:59,152 --> 01:12:00,487 CHICK (ON PA): And now, the marching 1170 01:12:00,528 --> 01:12:02,864 Muskrats of Chickasaw Falls. 1171 01:12:02,906 --> 01:12:04,449 [crowd boos] 1172 01:12:04,491 --> 01:12:07,702 No, not your marching band. 1173 01:12:07,744 --> 01:12:09,579 They do try very hard. 1174 01:12:09,621 --> 01:12:10,955 There won't be this kind of embarrassment 1175 01:12:10,997 --> 01:12:12,165 at the new school. 1176 01:12:12,207 --> 01:12:13,500 CHICK (ON PA): Now it's time to get 1177 01:12:13,541 --> 01:12:15,377 down and do the funky Muskrat! 1178 01:12:20,674 --> 01:12:23,635 (SINGING) Get your soul food a la king, Muskrats marching 1179 01:12:23,677 --> 01:12:26,471 to a James Brown thing. 1180 01:12:26,513 --> 01:12:28,515 Homeboy's grooving down the street, 1181 01:12:28,556 --> 01:12:30,850 got his mojo working on a Muskrat beat. 1182 01:12:39,526 --> 01:12:42,779 [players yelling] 1183 01:12:46,491 --> 01:12:49,744 [gas hissing] 1184 01:12:56,876 --> 01:12:59,212 Good, boys, the towels. 1185 01:12:59,254 --> 01:13:02,549 Right now, their vision is getting very blurry. 1186 01:13:02,590 --> 01:13:04,801 A sense of well-being is creeping over them. 1187 01:13:04,843 --> 01:13:09,681 They're experiencing vertigo and a strong desire to lie down. 1188 01:13:09,723 --> 01:13:11,516 OK, turn it off, Bobby. 1189 01:13:11,558 --> 01:13:12,934 Let's go. 1190 01:13:12,976 --> 01:13:14,936 Remember guys, this is very powerful sleeping gas. 1191 01:13:14,978 --> 01:13:16,771 So keep those masks on tight. 1192 01:13:16,813 --> 01:13:18,148 Go on, go on! 1193 01:13:18,189 --> 01:13:20,692 [players snoring] 1194 01:13:20,734 --> 01:13:23,528 [lullaby playing] 1195 01:13:24,946 --> 01:13:26,698 RODNEY: Maisy, this isn't going to work. 1196 01:13:26,740 --> 01:13:28,199 We can't play football. 1197 01:13:28,241 --> 01:13:30,243 MAISY: We can play better than these guys are playing. 1198 01:13:30,285 --> 01:13:31,578 Come on, you guys. 1199 01:13:31,619 --> 01:13:33,121 Lets get these uniforms off them. 1200 01:13:33,163 --> 01:13:35,248 Someone's gotta try and win this game. 1201 01:13:35,290 --> 01:13:38,168 [crowd cheering] 1202 01:13:38,209 --> 01:13:40,754 CHICK (ON PA): Would you please put your hands together 1203 01:13:40,795 --> 01:13:43,882 for the amazing horns in space! 1204 01:13:43,923 --> 01:13:47,177 [fast paced horns playing] 1205 01:13:58,855 --> 01:14:02,233 Symmetry and artistry join hands with Ed's TV 1206 01:14:02,275 --> 01:14:06,154 and Appliance to bring you the graceful spiral of life. 1207 01:14:24,172 --> 01:14:26,132 [crowd cheers] 1208 01:14:26,174 --> 01:14:29,010 The Sabre Dance. 1209 01:14:29,052 --> 01:14:32,138 [MUSIC - ARAM KHACHATURIAN, "THE SABRE DANCE"] 1210 01:14:42,941 --> 01:14:45,235 GERTA: OK, kids, look, this is-- 1211 01:14:45,276 --> 01:14:47,946 All right, good work, get out there man. 1212 01:14:47,987 --> 01:14:48,905 So far, so good. 1213 01:14:48,947 --> 01:14:50,073 That was the easy part. 1214 01:14:50,115 --> 01:14:51,241 We better go see how Ernest is doing. 1215 01:14:51,282 --> 01:14:52,659 OK. 1216 01:14:52,701 --> 01:14:53,702 Come on 'Rats band, let's go get 'em! 1217 01:14:53,743 --> 01:14:56,162 All right guys, lets do it! 1218 01:14:56,204 --> 01:14:58,123 GERTA: I hope being quarterback doesn't go to Ernest's head! 1219 01:15:02,085 --> 01:15:05,964 The most important thing is that a team have a leader. 1220 01:15:06,006 --> 01:15:07,340 A star. 1221 01:15:07,382 --> 01:15:10,176 A bright light that shines through the darkness 1222 01:15:10,218 --> 01:15:12,554 so that others may follow. 1223 01:15:12,595 --> 01:15:15,181 And I am that man. 1224 01:15:15,223 --> 01:15:16,808 DONALD: That sounds familiar. 1225 01:15:16,850 --> 01:15:20,854 In my prime, I was known as Crazy Legs Worrell. 1226 01:15:20,895 --> 01:15:24,024 So just give me the ball and watch the show, 1227 01:15:24,065 --> 01:15:25,692 know what I mean? 1228 01:15:25,734 --> 01:15:27,152 CHICK (ON PA): The Muskrats look much the worse 1229 01:15:27,193 --> 01:15:30,030 for wear and no wonder after the brutal beating 1230 01:15:30,071 --> 01:15:31,031 they've taken thus far. 1231 01:15:33,742 --> 01:15:34,576 Hut! 1232 01:15:44,753 --> 01:15:46,296 CHICK (ON PA): These Muskrats are 1233 01:15:46,338 --> 01:15:49,174 playing like they don't deserve to be in championship game. 1234 01:15:49,215 --> 01:15:52,761 And, in this man's opinion, are a disgrace to the proud colors 1235 01:15:52,802 --> 01:15:54,095 of Chickasaw Falls. 1236 01:16:03,730 --> 01:16:06,649 Ladies and gentlemen, oh the humanity, 1237 01:16:06,691 --> 01:16:08,360 never can I recall a more wretched 1238 01:16:08,401 --> 01:16:10,904 display of physical ineptitude. 1239 01:16:10,945 --> 01:16:14,866 And with the score standing an embarrassing 39 to nothing 1240 01:16:14,908 --> 01:16:17,619 there is no joy in Mundale tonight. 1241 01:16:17,660 --> 01:16:19,746 Ernest, come with me. 1242 01:16:19,788 --> 01:16:21,122 Come. 1243 01:16:21,164 --> 01:16:23,249 I know that philosophically using this device 1244 01:16:23,291 --> 01:16:27,045 may be repugnant to your sense of sportsmanship and fair play, 1245 01:16:27,087 --> 01:16:30,090 but quite frankly my friend I think it is high time we 1246 01:16:30,131 --> 01:16:35,929 introduce the Ironmen to the new and improved 1247 01:16:35,970 --> 01:16:38,932 subatomic brain accelerator. 1248 01:16:38,973 --> 01:16:40,266 Make me a master Muskrat. 1249 01:16:40,308 --> 01:16:41,184 Great! 1250 01:16:41,226 --> 01:16:42,936 Let's hurry! 1251 01:16:42,977 --> 01:16:45,772 Oh and Ernest, this time try not to act like such a jerk, hm? 1252 01:16:45,814 --> 01:16:48,358 [machine whirring] 1253 01:16:56,032 --> 01:16:56,866 (DEEP VOICE) All right. 1254 01:17:01,246 --> 01:17:05,166 Now the gloves come off. 1255 01:17:05,208 --> 01:17:06,960 CHICK (ON PA): It looks like the Muskrats 1256 01:17:07,002 --> 01:17:11,756 are going with a new quarterback and it's Ernest P. Worrell? 1257 01:17:11,798 --> 01:17:13,299 The Muskrats have the ball fourth and 27 1258 01:17:13,341 --> 01:17:16,386 at their own 49 yard line and it looks 1259 01:17:16,428 --> 01:17:17,971 like they're going for it. 1260 01:17:18,013 --> 01:17:21,141 I guess they figured they've got nothing to lose. 1261 01:17:21,182 --> 01:17:24,144 ERNEST: 39 hut, hut, hut. 1262 01:17:24,185 --> 01:17:27,439 [theme song] 1263 01:17:32,527 --> 01:17:34,029 Go, Ernest, go! 1264 01:17:34,070 --> 01:17:35,030 Bring home the bacon! 1265 01:17:35,071 --> 01:17:35,989 [pig squeals] 1266 01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:37,407 Oh, sorry, Mogley. 1267 01:17:37,449 --> 01:17:38,366 Beep, beep, beep. 1268 01:17:52,922 --> 01:17:56,051 The Muskrats have the ball and they're finally on the move. 1269 01:17:56,092 --> 01:18:00,764 [FOOTBALL PLAYERS CLAP AND BREAK] 1270 01:18:00,805 --> 01:18:05,518 37, 25, a one two, a one two three hut. 1271 01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:08,229 [ballet music] 1272 01:18:08,271 --> 01:18:11,024 [football players groaning] 1273 01:18:20,450 --> 01:18:22,202 [whistle blowing] 1274 01:18:22,243 --> 01:18:23,995 CHICK (ON PA): It looks like the Muskrats have the Ironmen 1275 01:18:24,037 --> 01:18:27,374 completely baffled out there. 1276 01:18:27,415 --> 01:18:30,919 [waltz music] 1277 01:18:34,005 --> 01:18:36,883 [football players questioning] 1278 01:18:52,315 --> 01:18:55,902 [whistle blowing] 1279 01:18:55,944 --> 01:18:57,153 Ha, ha, ha. 1280 01:18:57,195 --> 01:18:58,863 I don't know what's gotten into them, 1281 01:18:58,905 --> 01:19:02,158 but the Muskrats look like a different team out there. 1282 01:19:02,200 --> 01:19:03,451 Animals, right. 1283 01:19:03,493 --> 01:19:06,454 You are a wolverine. 1284 01:19:06,496 --> 01:19:11,418 OK, you are a, uh, rhinoceros. 1285 01:19:11,459 --> 01:19:14,963 You are a fuzzy little mouse, but you're mean, 1286 01:19:15,005 --> 01:19:17,924 you're vicious. 1287 01:19:17,966 --> 01:19:21,219 [ernest laughs] 1288 01:19:22,929 --> 01:19:27,809 And the extra point is good! 1289 01:19:27,851 --> 01:19:29,811 There's the kick off. 1290 01:19:29,853 --> 01:19:32,272 And the Muskrats bring 'em down near mid-field. 1291 01:19:32,313 --> 01:19:35,400 But with just 20 seconds left on the clock, 1292 01:19:35,442 --> 01:19:38,903 it looks like the valiant heroics are all for naught. 1293 01:19:38,945 --> 01:19:40,947 All right, so what do we do now, Ernest? 1294 01:19:40,989 --> 01:19:43,283 I don't know, fellas, I'm fresh out of ideas. 1295 01:19:43,324 --> 01:19:44,284 Leave it to me guys. 1296 01:19:44,325 --> 01:19:45,452 Here's what we do. 1297 01:19:45,493 --> 01:19:47,370 OK, I'll need your help. (WHISPERS) 1298 01:19:47,412 --> 01:19:51,166 Off-center and then you guys back me up. 1299 01:19:51,207 --> 01:19:53,209 Yoo-hoo, number 57! 1300 01:19:56,921 --> 01:19:58,214 Hey, you're cute. 1301 01:20:02,218 --> 01:20:05,513 [violin playing romantic song] 1302 01:20:05,555 --> 01:20:06,431 OPPOSING TEAM: Break! 1303 01:20:15,190 --> 01:20:16,316 IRONMAN PLAYER: 32. 1304 01:20:16,358 --> 01:20:17,317 32. 1305 01:20:17,359 --> 01:20:18,193 Hut! 1306 01:20:20,362 --> 01:20:21,279 MAISY: For me? 1307 01:20:21,321 --> 01:20:23,490 Thank you. 1308 01:20:23,531 --> 01:20:24,491 MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Timeout! 1309 01:20:24,532 --> 01:20:25,992 COACH: It's the old cupid play! 1310 01:20:26,034 --> 01:20:27,994 The old cupid play! 1311 01:20:28,036 --> 01:20:29,954 What a game! 1312 01:20:29,996 --> 01:20:32,874 The Muskrats have called their last timeout with just three 1313 01:20:32,916 --> 01:20:36,211 seconds left on the clock. 1314 01:20:36,252 --> 01:20:39,464 And meanwhile, the backfield comes back 1315 01:20:39,506 --> 01:20:41,591 here to cover me on the play. 1316 01:20:41,633 --> 01:20:44,010 Any questions? 1317 01:20:44,052 --> 01:20:46,179 All right then. 1318 01:20:46,221 --> 01:20:47,097 Lets go. 1319 01:20:50,558 --> 01:20:51,685 Wait a minute! 1320 01:20:51,726 --> 01:20:52,644 Ernest! 1321 01:20:52,686 --> 01:20:53,603 Oh, Bobby! 1322 01:20:53,645 --> 01:20:55,271 Did you charge Ernest? 1323 01:20:55,313 --> 01:20:56,272 Nein! 1324 01:20:56,314 --> 01:20:57,232 Ach der lieber! 1325 01:20:57,273 --> 01:20:58,108 Ernest! 1326 01:21:16,334 --> 01:21:18,044 MUSKRAT PLAYER 1: Hey, who's that in our uniforms? 1327 01:21:18,086 --> 01:21:19,170 MUSKRAT PLAYER 2: What are they doing out there? 1328 01:21:19,212 --> 01:21:20,005 MUSKRAT PLAYER 3: What's going on? 1329 01:21:20,046 --> 01:21:20,922 ERNEST: 37. 1330 01:21:20,964 --> 01:21:22,132 21. 1331 01:21:22,173 --> 01:21:23,550 39. 1332 01:21:23,591 --> 01:21:25,218 Pi to the ninth, pi to the ninth, pi to the ninth. 1333 01:21:25,260 --> 01:21:26,136 Heba-dee. 1334 01:21:26,177 --> 01:21:28,388 [spluttering] 1335 01:21:29,973 --> 01:21:30,598 Oh, boy. 1336 01:21:33,727 --> 01:21:36,604 [football players grunting] 1337 01:21:38,314 --> 01:21:39,691 [ernest groaning] 1338 01:21:39,733 --> 01:21:42,610 [fast paced jazz music] 1339 01:21:44,779 --> 01:21:45,655 IRONMAN PLAYER 2: I got him! 1340 01:21:45,697 --> 01:21:46,614 I got him! 1341 01:21:50,702 --> 01:21:51,745 Hey, Ernest! 1342 01:21:51,786 --> 01:21:52,662 Ernest! 1343 01:21:52,704 --> 01:21:54,247 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 1344 01:21:54,289 --> 01:21:55,206 Ow yeah! 1345 01:22:09,346 --> 01:22:10,180 Uh-oh. 1346 01:22:17,270 --> 01:22:18,605 Come on baby! 1347 01:22:18,646 --> 01:22:19,564 Come on, do it! 1348 01:22:22,650 --> 01:22:25,195 CHICKASAW PLAYER 1: You can make it, Ernest! 1349 01:22:25,236 --> 01:22:27,614 CHICKASAW PLAYER 2: You're almost there! 1350 01:22:27,655 --> 01:22:29,199 GERTA: You can make it! 1351 01:22:29,240 --> 01:22:32,535 [ernest laughing] 1352 01:22:35,246 --> 01:22:36,164 Oh, yeah. 1353 01:22:47,634 --> 01:22:50,512 [ernest yelling] 1354 01:22:53,181 --> 01:22:56,101 [wind howling] 1355 01:23:22,168 --> 01:23:23,211 I got it! I got it! 1356 01:23:23,253 --> 01:23:24,421 Come on, come on! 1357 01:23:24,462 --> 01:23:27,590 Right here, right here, right here! 1358 01:23:27,632 --> 01:23:28,508 I got it! 1359 01:23:28,550 --> 01:23:30,135 I got it! 1360 01:23:30,176 --> 01:23:31,511 [whistle blowing] 1361 01:23:31,553 --> 01:23:33,138 CHICK (ON PA): The Muskrats win! 1362 01:23:33,179 --> 01:23:34,514 The Muskrats win! 1363 01:23:34,556 --> 01:23:37,058 They're the new district champions! 1364 01:23:40,603 --> 01:23:42,105 Yes! Yes! 1365 01:23:42,147 --> 01:23:43,106 Yes! 1366 01:23:43,148 --> 01:23:45,525 Get him off of there! 1367 01:23:45,567 --> 01:23:47,110 Get the cops! 1368 01:23:47,152 --> 01:23:53,533 Get the [inaudible] 1369 01:23:53,575 --> 01:23:54,409 Yay! 1370 01:24:03,918 --> 01:24:06,796 [ernest groaning] 1371 01:24:17,474 --> 01:24:19,392 And that's exactly why, hey! 1372 01:24:19,434 --> 01:24:22,479 I heard you trying to sell us out, you dipstick! 1373 01:24:22,520 --> 01:24:23,897 I don't know what you're talking about. 1374 01:24:23,938 --> 01:24:26,274 I never thought you'd go that far. 1375 01:24:26,316 --> 01:24:27,859 Listen, I can explain. 1376 01:24:27,901 --> 01:24:30,111 Everything I've done, I did it for the good of the school 1377 01:24:30,153 --> 01:24:31,154 system as a whole. 1378 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:32,572 That is your opinion. 1379 01:24:32,614 --> 01:24:34,908 But I think you, along with your buddy 1380 01:24:34,949 --> 01:24:37,118 Decker, will be out looking for new jobs 1381 01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:38,912 once I tell the school board what you've been up to. 1382 01:24:38,953 --> 01:24:39,913 No! 1383 01:24:39,954 --> 01:24:40,872 Don't do that. 1384 01:24:40,914 --> 01:24:42,165 We can work something out. 1385 01:24:42,207 --> 01:24:43,708 I mean-- 1386 01:24:43,750 --> 01:24:46,878 [inaudible] [inaudible] a school that produces champions 1387 01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:49,297 isn't the kind of school any enlightened person 1388 01:24:49,339 --> 01:24:51,174 would think about closing. 1389 01:24:51,216 --> 01:24:52,258 You, you mean-- 1390 01:24:52,300 --> 01:24:54,552 Chickasaw Falls will stay open. 1391 01:24:54,594 --> 01:24:57,889 [theme song] 1392 01:25:23,540 --> 01:25:25,750 [students chattering] 1393 01:25:27,210 --> 01:25:29,546 So you actually passed the big test? 1394 01:25:29,587 --> 01:25:30,505 Unbelievable. 1395 01:25:30,547 --> 01:25:31,923 Yeah, Ernest. 1396 01:25:31,965 --> 01:25:33,508 By Friday night you'll be a high school graduate. 1397 01:25:33,550 --> 01:25:35,301 Didn't doubt you for a second, pal. 1398 01:25:35,343 --> 01:25:36,928 (NORMAL VOICE) Well you guys were a big help. 1399 01:25:36,970 --> 01:25:38,263 Thanks a lot. 1400 01:25:38,304 --> 01:25:39,305 But you know? 1401 01:25:39,347 --> 01:25:40,974 I think I had it in me all along. 1402 01:25:41,016 --> 01:25:43,476 MISS FLUGAL: Ernest? 1403 01:25:43,518 --> 01:25:44,477 (WHISPERING) Good luck, buddy. 1404 01:25:44,519 --> 01:25:45,353 Come on! 1405 01:25:51,526 --> 01:25:53,319 Ernest, I just came by to say how 1406 01:25:53,361 --> 01:25:56,823 proud I am of you for finally getting that diploma. 1407 01:25:56,865 --> 01:25:58,616 Good for you. 1408 01:25:58,658 --> 01:26:01,786 Well I couldn't have done it without you, Miss Flugal. 1409 01:26:01,828 --> 01:26:04,205 Oh I, I made you something. 1410 01:26:08,335 --> 01:26:09,794 Oh! 1411 01:26:09,836 --> 01:26:12,339 It's a music box. 1412 01:26:12,380 --> 01:26:14,341 Ernest, how sweet! 1413 01:26:14,382 --> 01:26:18,011 You made that for me? 1414 01:26:18,053 --> 01:26:19,971 (QUIETLY) Listen. 1415 01:26:20,013 --> 01:26:23,516 [shrieks loudly] 1416 01:26:47,999 --> 01:26:48,833 Hmm. 1417 01:26:53,588 --> 01:26:56,966 Once again, the right tool for the right job. 1418 01:26:57,008 --> 01:26:58,551 Know what I mean? 1419 01:26:58,593 --> 01:27:08,561 [THEME MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"] 1420 01:27:08,603 --> 01:27:16,277 [THEME MUSIC - "HAIL TO THE MUSKRATS"] 1421 01:27:16,319 --> 01:27:19,781 Hail to the Muskrats. 1422 01:27:19,823 --> 01:27:21,574 The brave avenger Muskrats. 1423 01:27:24,661 --> 01:27:26,037 Hail to the Muskrats! 1424 01:27:26,079 --> 01:27:28,748 They do what all they do for Muskrats. 1425 01:27:28,790 --> 01:27:32,711 Cheer for the Muskrats, we're for the Muskrats! 1426 01:27:32,752 --> 01:27:36,631 Hail to the Muskrats. 1427 01:27:36,673 --> 01:27:40,760 Those fuzzy mighty Muskrats. 1428 01:27:40,802 --> 01:27:45,598 Hail to the Muskrats, those mangy, beaten, marvel Muskrats. 1429 01:27:45,640 --> 01:27:46,975 One day the Muskrats prevail. 1430 01:27:50,770 --> 01:27:52,731 [western music] 1431 01:28:15,003 --> 01:28:17,005 [light music] 1432 01:28:23,762 --> 01:28:25,722 [fast paced music] 1433 01:28:39,444 --> 01:28:42,364 [theme music] 99033