Original subtitles

From the long hot night to the ocean breeze, to the damp and to the rain of

London city.

We come from the sun to live in the cold, I miss my grandma, want my coconut

tree.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up the western speed.

Just screw up your face, Ricky.

Some people give their right arm for such a golden opportunity.

To be your skivvy, Desmond, I don't think so.

The boy is being allowed in on the ground floor of a great barbering

institution. It's one thing being allowed in on the ground floor, Mr

but it's another having to sweep it up.

It's good training.

It strengthens the wrist.

Yes, and it's doing wonders for your leg.

What am I going to learn about the cuts, the styles, you know, all the fun

stuff? Well, Ricky, like Dad always says... You can't have the fun without

learning the fundamentals.

John knows all about flow sweeping.

He's now mastering the ancient art of tea making, essential to the barber's

craft. Did someone mention tea?

Your timing is uncanny.

Folk pack in here a tea bag, drop in a teapot from 300 yards.

Help yourself, old friend.

Is this an unofficial barber's holiday today, Desmond? Or are you just feeling

your age, old man?

Seniority brings its just rewards.

I am here in an executive capacity.

You hear him?

Sean is helping out in the shop today to supplement his grant.

I know what you're going through, Sean.

I've been trying to supplement the grant all my life.

Augustus, Neapolitan, Cleveland, grant.

Desmond is teaching Ricky all he knows about barbering.

Well, that takes care of this morning.

So, Charlie, what's on the menu for the party?

Who would have believed it, eh?

Thirty -five years in this country.

Thirty -six years. I came first.

I was a pioneer.

Ricky, did I ever tell you... Desmond, you're supposed to be teaching the boy,

not boring him to death.

How often do you have these parties, then?

About every five years.

Man, they're wicked, you know. But this year, I think it's going to be the

wickedest. Boom -bastic!

Well,

my mouth's just watering thinking about your cooking, Shirley.

And Michael's eyes are watering just thinking about the expense.

So what are you making this year? Well, look, I've been studying these recipe

books all morning.

I've considered everything from cut spoon dumplings, pepper pot, titirita

and cassava bread.

Yamas!

Speaking of studying, where is our student in residence this morning?

Matthew? Oh, he's helping out near the market stall.

Lee has taken a shine to this young lady who helps out on the stall next to his.

Today's the day. Lee wants Matthew to take care of business while Lee takes

of business.

Yeah.

Lee seems to be quite taken with his girl.

He's showing all the symptoms of a man in love.

I wonder, Lee, do you think you could possibly drag yourself away from your

lovesick ogles and give me a hand?

But believe me, that's another love story.

You can lose yourself any time, man.

You only lose your heart once.

It's not your heart you've lost. It's your mind.

Look at the way she moves, man.

There's an old African theory.

Only a fool puts passion before profit.

But she is a nice -looking girl.

Nice -looking?

She's a stunner. She's a goddess. She's coming over here.

What am I going to do? What am I going to say?

Don't you say what you usually say?

Hello, darling, how's the party?

Or you could employ one of your more scintillating pieces of rappity and say,

want to party with the pecan prince?

Try being slightly more sophisticated and say, hello.

Get your fertility mask.

Get your African fertility masks here.

Get fertile for the weekend.

What a neat line of sales, Patty. You got there?

Yeah, well, you've got to give the punters what they want. Oh, and at the

moment, it's African fertility masks.

Interesting.

Hi, I'm Della.

And you're?

Yeah.

I don't have much to do.

It's business, associate.

I'm just going to the cafe. Do you guys want anything?

Oh, a cup of tea would be nice.

Not too much milk.

One and three quarter sugars.

And a bucket of cold water.

For Lee.

Man, I forgot a better idea. Why don't you sprint off and get the cuppers while

Della and I indulge in the time -honoured corset ritual of the South

Romeo? Huh?

Shut it up, you fool.

Oh, oh, right.

All of the usual, man.

There's a small question of finance.

I'm a student, you know.

And don't hurry back.

So, uh, tell me about yourself, then.

You got all that, Ricky? All in the noddle, Mr Ambrose. You want a chicken

sandwich with butter on white bread with tomatoes, mayonnaise and cucumber, but

no lettuce and a little black pepper.

Shirley wants cottage cheese, lettuce, tomato and peeled cucumber on crisp

with low -fat spread.

Sean wants a thinly sliced roast beef with mustard and horseradish on brown

bread with butter, some potato salad and some coleslaw on the side of the plate,

but not touching the sandwich.

And Pork Pie just wants a bit of what you're all having.

One day, that boy's going to make an excellent barber.

Let's hope he makes an excellent sandwich.

But at least that's one less meal for me to worry about.

Good, because you need all your powers of skill and concentration to make sure

that the food is just right for the party.

I've been looking forward to this for five years.

Sean, bring the rest of the boxes in, will you?

Traffic was sweeping around here like vultures recently.

So what? You can't say I'm busy in a month.

You've been standing near that chair too long.

Now, we seem to have everything on the list.

Champagne, red and white wine, lager, mineral water, sparkling and still.

Rum? Yes, and the rum. And I don't mind telling you, Father, that after spending

this amount of money, I feel like a drink myself.

Will it get horrendously expensive?

Yes, horrendously. Oh, good.

Don't be such a meanie. It is your contribution to the party. Oh, yes,

don't be such a meanie.

Father. What exactly is your contribution to this celebration?

I mean, I bought the drinks. Mother's preparing a meal. Sean's doing the

Meanwhile, you seem to be sitting back and relaxing.

Well, this is what's called enjoying the fruits of one's labor. That's what I've

contributed. 35 years of hard labor to make all this possible.

party, Shirley. It's going to be fantastic, Mandy.

Shirley's got some recipes here I haven't tasted since I was a boy.

Do you know, I've never seen such elaborate arrangements since Pinky

married Rupert Diggins Sykes.

Do you know, dear, they had this one dish. It was a quail stuffed inside a

pigeon, inside a guinea fowl, inside a duck, inside a chicken, inside a goose,

inside a turkey.

Oh, we can beat that.

Last party, we had ten red mullets and a hundred chicken wings, all stuffed

inside one pork pie.

By the way, Shirley mentioned them. It was easy.

No rest for Mother, then.

Michael, don't you think it would be a nice idea if someone else did the

for the party?

Absolutely not.

Nope. I'm not paying for caterers. No, that's not what I mean. I just thought

that perhaps... Group up.

Ah, um, Ricky, I understand you're a bit of a dab hand in the kitchen.

Well, it's been said... By many, I'm sure.

I suppose.

Well, you're not thinking of... Well, I'd lend a hand, and I'd be around in an

executive capacity, of course, then.

You're not being serious, man. You and Ricky can't cook Guyanese food.

Why not?

Because... Because they're not Guyanese.

Come on, pork pie. I mean, I do a pretty mean stir -fry, and I'm not Chinese.

I'm all for it. It's a deal.

I'm gonna make you love me.

Yes, I will. I will. Yes, I will.

It would seem somebody else has something to celebrate around here. Lee

a date tomorrow night with his dream girl.

When you're young and in love.

All of this love business is very havoc with my profit margin.

Well, Lee, I am delighted for you. And if things go well, bring her to the

party. Only make sure she's eaten first.

Mandy and Ricky are cooking the food. Our pounders can't wait, mate.

He's definitely in love.

I'm going to have to make a move.

Oh, that's funny. I was thinking of exactly the same thing myself.

I meant for the door.

Oh, but it's only quarter past twelve.

What, that late?

Well, you're not going to change into a pumpkin or anything, are you?

Hey, er... I'd better check you out, just in case.

You're probably wrong now.

explanation. You're absolutely right.

Lee, I treat a lot of people for stress, and most of it comes from their

relationships. I like to keep mine stress -free.

Oh, so you reckon this aromatherapy stuff really works, then?

Yep. Oh, funny, I'm a great believer in the laying on of hands myself.

I really must be going.

Oh, I'll call you a cab. I mean, I'll give you a lift, but I'm bound to be

the limit.

Very wise.

Hey, the Peckham Prince was never meant to be a pedestrian.

You call the cab.

I'll pour us a last drink.

All right.

And I tell him there's no rush, yeah?

Now, Sean, Sean, listen. Sean, you've got to listen to me. Sean, listen,

I'm telling you, right? She's got this thing about her, yeah? This aura.

Now, you know how some people, they give off a feeling of, like, goodness,

right?

No. Oh, look. And her eyes, man, her eyes.

She had two of them.

He had... has no sense of romance.

Well, come on, let's get going. I tell you, if you can still talk about Della

after two hours of hard circuit training, I'll know you're in love. Hey,

worries. Bring her to the party, please. Oh, sure, sure. You're going to love

her.

Desmond, how did you feel on our first date?

Delirious. When the Georgetown Dreamers were playing at the Sugar Shack and I

saw you standing across the dance floor.

my heart skipped a whole heap of beats.

If I recall, Desmond, you were always skipping beats.

I can see it now.

You in your blue floral dress, your diamante brooch. That was my best

Dorothea.

The catering staff of a right.

You won't be laughing when you see the bill, Father.

Get everything, Mandy?

Well, yes, but... But what?

We don't know what most of it is. But it all looks very exciting. We're raring

to go.

Mother, I mean, the prices of some of these things. I mean, am I having to

haggle over thoughts? Ah, yes, right. Well, let's just get these groceries

upstairs and get a few pots out.

But the party's not until tomorrow, is she? Yes, but you do have to season up

the chicken from now.

How much?

Look,

I'll tell you what, mate. The pecan prince might just have found his

You know, Lee, I didn't think it was possible to do one -arm press -ups and

still keep talking.

Della does sound wicked, though. So when are you seeing her again?

I was going to bring her to your mum and dad's do, right?

Lee, Lee, you're getting a parking ticket, mate.

What?

You're getting a parking ticket?

You know, when you asked me when was I going to see Della again, well, I just

have.

There you go, Lee.

Yeah, nothing like a cup of tea in a moment of crisis.

I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Someone has to stick up for people in uniform.

She was only doing her job.

That's just it. Della told me she was an aromatherapist. She was giving my car a

ticket, not a massage.

Well, you've been known to be a bit creative with your job descriptions,

you, Lee?

You've been everything from a fashion photographer to Eddie Murphy's stunt

double.

I've never once said I was a traffic warden. Well, that's because there was

mileage in it.

I tell you, Lido, man, she is a good -looking woman. She's a traffic warden.

I told you no good will come of putting pleasure before business.

There's an old African saying, you can never make a good pot when your oven is

too hot.

Think about it.

Lee, you've got to let her tell you her side of the story. There must be a

reason why she lied.

Shell, she's a traffic warden. Lee, I had to overcome some of Michael's

imperfections before I could love him.

That's right.

Of course he'd be taken after his father.

He'd have been a barber instead of a banker.

Lee, she ain't a traffic warden. No way.

His head's too big for the hat.

Lee, look, what are you going to do? I mean, you can't just leave it like this.

Bury yourself in your work, Lee. Let's face it, Lee.

Your heart's been clubbed. And if you want to reclaim it, there's a price that

has to be paid.

Des, she's a traffic warden.

Sit still, Desmond. I want you to look your best for this party.

You know, one of my greatest regrets as a barb of international redoubt is that

I've never been able to cut my own hair.

I've never had a Desmond special.

There are a lot of people who wish they could say the same.

Watch the sides, woman, and angle the scissors more.

Do you know, there's only one thing worse than a backseat driver, and that

backseat barber.

You've got to look your best.

People have gone to a lot of trouble and expense.

That's all right. Well, now it is mostly Michael.

Stop fidgeting. You wasn't the children used to be. Never.

You know, it's a shame Alex's exhibition...

flashes at this party.

Oh, good. No glory, more champagne for me.

Still, I would have liked all the family to have been here.

Well, you're the one who's always saying you should cut the apron strings as

soon as possible. Yeah, but it comes so quick.

35 years in England, it seems like... An eternity.

An afternoon.

It just seems like five minutes since Sean was sitting on a plank across this

chair getting his first haircut.

Ah, a Desmond special.

You know, I dare not think what they're doing upstairs in that kitchen.

Uh -oh, looks like the tables have turned, eh, pops?

No, wicked tram lines, Mum.

What, what?

Listen, I'm just going out to organise the stands for tomorrow night. I'll be

back late, though, OK? OK, see you. See you.

You know, I, um... You been thinking what happened with Lee and Della?

You can read my mind. Well, I was thinking the same thing.

I mean, you know, that boy's become more like a son to me over all these years.

Yeah, and I worry about him like a son.

By now, they would either be cussing and fighting... Or kissing and making up.

This is a nice place that you've got here.

You obviously like to live in style.

Yeah, well, I like nice things, you know.

Natty Freds, great set of wheels, good -looking woman of my own.

People say I'm a bit flash, but it's just me. At least I'm honest about

See, honesty is very important to me, Della.

What's the celebration?

Hey, every day's a celebration for the Peckham Prince.

So, how's your day been? Did you rub anybody up the wrong way?

No, that's just it. I mean, I don't know. I mean, I can imagine, right, with

your job, you must meet a lot of tense people.

It must give you a real buzz to know you've helped them unwind.

Lee, I think there's... Oh, I almost forgot. There is something we're

celebrating.

Our second date.

Lee! You shouldn't have.

Yeah. I didn't get you anything.

No, no, no, you did.

And you shouldn't have.

Explain, yeah.

I'm very interested in how I dated a woman by the name of Della, an

aromatherapist, who then magically turns into a meat I made overnight.

Oh, no, don't tell me. I think I got it, yeah? You're actually a twin, and it's

your wicked sister Stella who does the dirty on the market.

What? Why did you lie?

I didn't lie.

I just didn't tell you the whole truth.

I'm listening.

Look, I am an aromatherapist.

But I've got to earn some money to set up my business properly.

Look, I'm not a wheeler -dealer like you, Lee, with loads of money -making

schemes.

I've been treating some traffic wardens for stress. Listen, if they find a job

too stressful, tell them to pack it in.

I found that there were some vacancies, so I took the job for six months just to

earn some money.

I've told guys in the past about my day job, and this is exactly the reaction I

get. I expected more from you.

Did you book them too?

No. Listen, how do I know you're an aromatherapist, eh? I mean, at the

all I can smell is a rat.

I'll prove it.

I've got some oils in my bag.

No, no, no, you're all right.

No, no, no, you can tell me what you think of my technique.

What?

You accuse me of lying? What's the verdict?

Not guilty.

Not guilty.

Definitely not guilty.

That was fantastic.

Listen, right, I want you to come to the party with me tomorrow night.

There's some pretty special people I want you to meet.

I would love to.

There's just one thing, though.

What?

Don't come in a uniform.

It's delicious.

No, no thanks, Jo.

Look, Mandy and Ricky did a fabulous job.

I ain't got much of an appetite.

I'll get it.

Have some bubbly, Lee.

No, no thanks, Des. I'm feeling too bubbly, mate.

Della never showed.

The Peckham Prince has been made to feel like the Peckham Prat.

Well, in that case, have a rum.

How did you get this chicken to taste so good?

We just followed the recipe, Popeye.

Popeye, as Mandy said, it's simply a matter of applying the basic principles

domestic science and not applying a tin opener, as you do.

It's an old African recipe.

You can keep it, Matthew. I was cooking meals before you were born.

Could that be because you're considerably older than me?

That was Gloria and her firm mother. She said congratulations.

She wanted me to keep a bottle of champagne for her and Alex, but I told

got it on sale or return.

I'll tell you, the way that lot down there are working up a thirst, you lot

going to have to get out and get more.

Don't worry, Lee. Della's probably lost the address.

Everybody knows where Desmond is.

She's missing some great food.

Lee, there's someone to see you.

Della! I mean, look, gorgeous.

I mean, look, everyone, this is Dylan. Look, Dylan.

Hey, there's Cheryl. This is Dylan. Hello.

I'm sorry I'm so late.

Lee told me this was a special occasion, so I stopped off to get you a present.

Oh, thank you. Well, I took a bit longer than I thought, and when I came out of

the shop, my car had been towed away.

It takes me all this time to get it back.

Traffic wardens, eh?

Couldn't have used your influence.

Anyway, it doesn't matter now. Well, you're here now, and that's all that

matters. Yes, enjoy yourself. There's good food, good wine, good company.

Yes, and you've got a good man.

And that's just the ticket.

Did I say ticket?