All language subtitles for Desmonds s06e08 Judgment Day

From the long of night to the notion
free, to the damp and to the rain of sun

and city.

We come from the sun to live in the
cold, I'm in the room, I want my coconut

free.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up the
awareness, feel the interest of heaven.

not spending the whole day watching
cricket with Dad.

I am desperate.

Sean's away and everybody else is
working, except for Matthew, who thinks

cricket is nothing more than glorified
rounders and a waste of a good lawn.

Well, he's right, isn't he? I'm actually
carrying for Dad all day.

He'll be Gloria, Lager, and fix me a
hard -on bully -beef sandwich out of the

trimmings. I'd rather be Fluff -me
-belly -button. Why don't you just let

watch the telly in the shop?

No. OK, let's not.

The shop would be packed up with men and
I'd lose all my customers.

Women feel very exposed to the
hairdressers, you know.

Especially that delicate period between
the sink and the blow dryer when

anything could happen.

That women don't just wash and go. We
wash and stay in our day, mate.

I don't see what all the fuss is about
myself.

I mean, it's not as if it's football, is
it?

Ricky. The last person to sit in
Desmond's chair when the West Indies

out looking like he'd gone ten rounds
with the Clippers.

They get a bit carried away, doesn't
they? He came in my room this morning

made me sign over all rights to the
remote control.

Lucky when I lived here, I was the
remote control.

What's the score, man?

What's the score?

Was that Popeye just breezed away?

Hardly a breeze.

If we ran it faster, the Met Office
would have issued a hurricane warning.

Stand back, my man. You better call me
like a blowtorch for a minute.

Sorry.

Vince, relax your shoulders. Lean into
it. Make your wrists do the work.

This is where you take this thing for.
Come dancing.

Where do you think you're going? I paid
you to stay with him.

Dad paid me more to go away.

You don't need me. I could put pies with
him.

You know this girl, Gloria? Yeah.

Coming for four in a something -hover.
Or something.

The Mexican way is hard work when he's
only three of you.

Isn't it funny how sports allows
repressment to get in touch with the

child? Yeah.

Since when does one on pork pie need an
excuse to behave like children?

That's strange. I could have sworn it
was here. You said that a mile back,

Uncle.

Why can't men ever admit when they're
lost?

Always got to front with this internal
compass thing.

We're here.

Ah, yes, okay.

Um, so if we go that way... Forget it.

Excuse me, sir. Do you know if we can
get to Desmond's Barbershop from here?

Desmond's? Yeah, of course. Why do you
know him? You could say that.

Oh.

You know I'll laugh when you say how
close you are.

Oh, maybe not.

I'll tell you what.

I'll bung this gear in the boot and then
I'll give you a lift.

I've got to go past that way to get to
me stall anyway.

That's a great accent you have.

Are you one of those cockney?

Oh, technically, no.

That's too bad.

I thought I found a black cockney.
Wouldn't that have been something?

But on a clear day, you can hear the
sound of the bow bells from right here

Peckham, where I was born.

I just love all this quaint pathology
stuff.

I'm the real thing, girl.

You tourists should see us real working
-class Londoners, not some birds in

Common Garden giving it the Eliza
Doolittle touch.

We're actually here on some business.

My name's Juaninka Rone, and this is my
uncle.

The Reverend Marvin Jones III.

Who's that?

The first.

Prince?

You're so cute.

Just lift the lever on the side. Thank
you.

So, would your royal cottoniness be
willing to show me the real London?

Yeah, I don't see why not.

I'll tell you what, if you wait for me
at Desmond's, I'll pick you up on the

back.

We might not be there that long.

I'll call you.

Yeah, you do that.

All right, Sean.

Bye, Sean.

That was Sean.

He sends his love.

Ah, it's good to see he hasn't inherited
his father's repressed nature.

Notice how freely he uses the word love.

No, what he actually said was, hold
tight, Mum.

Desmond's crew just big up your status.
Scene.

Yeah, well, actually, he and Spider are,
and I quote, mashing up the junglies

massive all over Birmingham.

Uncle, are you sure this is it?

Yep, it's been a while, but this place
is left on my memory. Can I help you?

I doubt it.

No one's ever too far gone for us.

Send forth the man. There is no hiding
place.

The eye of the Lord is all seeing.

Don't have to tell me. I'm a God
-fearing woman. So am I.

Sometimes.

I have traveled thousands of miles to
find him.

I have been cast out into the wilderness
and will not find redemption until the

doer of dark deeds is brought to
justice.

Can I fix your cuppa while you're
waiting?

I didn't know that there was a James
Brown convention in London.

There's one thing I know. I am not
cutting all that here by myself.

Bring him forth.

That dark disciple must not be allowed
to prosper. There's no one fit in that

description here.

Hark! The transgressor cometh.

The

perpetrator,

I presume.

The puppy who?

My name is Juanica Rone, attorney at
law, and this is my uncle.

The Reverend Marvin Jones III of the
Pentecostal Rock of Ages Church of

Philadelphia.

And what can I do for you, my man?

Hand over your worldly goods.

What? What stupidness is this?

He's just kidding.

I wish somebody would share the joke.

We're suing you, Desmond Ambrose, as the
proprietor of Desmond's Barbershop.

I don't believe this.

How can I be sued by someone I've never
seen before?

Read this at your leisure.

This isn't America.

Suing people is not a national pastime
here.

No, we've got more responsibility.

We're suing for deep mental trauma and
psychological distress culminating in

marital breakdown and a complete loss of
income resulting from a haircut in this

shop.

And what?

Have all them fancy words got to do with
Desmond?

Two years ago, while working as a
missionary on a church exchange, I was

into that chair with smooth words and
falsehoods from the folk tongue of that

man.

Therein, he did proceed to alter my
appearance with such vigor, such gusto,

I did leave that chair looking for all
the world like a wrongdoer and

philanderer.

How come I never leave the chair looking
like that?

Okay. Desmond does the best he can with
the little he's got.

You're talking about all I do is cut
hair.

Upon returning home, my wife took one
look at my shorn head, complete with go

-faster stripes, and assumed Jack's
business was not the only thing I came

England for. Now, gentlemen, we all know
how the female mind is driven by

suspicion. The female mind. The man
suing you is not asking you to join a

support group.

I haven't grown back a long time. I
can't help it if your wife don't

style.

It's your fault I acquired that
particular style in the first place.

When my wife left, so did my mostly
female flock.

There was no way they were going to
stand by a man accused of hanky -panky.

And I lost my primetime TV show. Go
downtown and pray.

And all because of you watching cricket
and letting those clipper -happy hands

loose on my head.

Who you calling Clipper Happy?

You be the rapping reverend. Yo. You
came in here two summers ago when the

cricket was on.

Are you the one that wanted to cast your
net among the youth of Peckham?

What's the one?

As I recall it, you came in here and
begged me to help you update your image.

No hero caught in the world would update
them Cuban eels.

You said you wanted to fit in.

Considering the absence of Tony that
day, I thought I did a good job.

You call this a good job?

Look, Miss Ronay, there's no way we're
going to accept responsibility for your

uncle's mental health or his marriage.

You say it like it is, Shirley. I have
stood by Desmond when he had some of the

worst haircuts in creation.

In the 50s, he had a slick back you
could skate on.

In the 60s, a middle parting that Moses
and all the children of Israel could

pass through.

Yes, he had sideburns that used to
frighten small children.

But did you hear me filing for divorce?

Them sideburns frighten me, and I was
not going to.

I'm sure everybody get a picture.

Do you think I've seen your face
somewhere before?

That's original, Matthew.

Yes. Ebony magazine.

Do you think I should meet such an
esteemed figure as you in these shabby

surroundings? Shabby ain't the word.

Listen, Reverend.

I'm a very skilled barber of great
repute, and I will take you to every

this land to clear my name. You're
making a quite outrageous claim.

I don't care what he says.

This slanderer won't get a single penny
from me.

Who said anything about pennies? I'd say
a good settlement would be around about

500 ,000 U .S. dollars, excluding cost.

Here you are. You'll feel better once
you've got this down, yeah? I'll still

ruined. Oh, I don't think it'll come to
that. They were just trying to scare us

into a settlement.

Well, I'm sure they'll run into
something.

Desmond, talk a good fight, though.

That slanderer will not be getting a
penny from me.

Yes, I thought you showed great courage
in the face of such a position.

But quite frankly, Desmond, I don't
think you stand a chance in hell.

Why? You're meant to be his friend. Yes,
and as his friend, I'm duty -bound to

tell him the truth.

I'm assuming you haven't read last
month's Ebony magazine?

Top 100 African -American lawyers
featuring our friend Janika Roney. She

loses a case. Well, it'll take more than
big hair and a push -up bra to scare

any of us.

I think that long hair...

Walking, jewellery, stand -off, a
preacher can frighten me. We'll have our

in court.

Could lose everything before ever you
can get for sale, Your Honour.

Surely? I want me bed.

Gloria? Yes, Daddy?

I want me money back.

What, they gone already?

Barney just dropped them off. Dropped
who off?

What she say her name was, um, Danica or
something.

You? You brought them here?

Yeah.

Duranica is a lawyer, and the Reverend
is seeing Desmond for a dodgy haircut he

had two years ago.

Oh, well, if I'd have known that, I'd
have taken him to Fat Larry's. Well, you

give them what they want.

Oh, don't be so ridiculous, Desmond.
It's not Lee's fault.

You can't blame a dustman because of
Robbie's stink.

Lee is under no legal obligation to pay
for your blandness, Desmond, but there

is a way he can make amends.

Lee, do you plan to see the illustrious
Miss Rone again?

Yeah, she's calling me later.

Splendid. You are left with only one
option.

You will have to nobble her.

Richo!

This is where me and my fellow mates
will hang out. The best place in London.

Oh, it's so pretty.

Oh, yeah, and over there you've got St
Paul's, see? St Paul's, of course.

Yeah.

And over there, right there, is the old
man's river.

Just a little smaller than your
Mississippi, I think. Oh, I think it

be.

Right.

Down the hatch, girl.

Cheers.

Has that soup been in your family long?

These buttons date right back to the
first pearly dynasty of Peckham.

All hand -nicked by old Mars Stanley.

Oh, how quaint.

It really is good of you to show me
around like this.

These days everyone's got an ulterior
motive.

Oh, it makes you sick, doesn't it, eh?

So when do you fly back then?

In a couple of days.

Uncle's guesting at an outdoor prayer
fest tomorrow.

Why? What did you have in mind?

Nothing.

Just thought we'd come and do deadover.

Don't even go there, Lee, OK?

We agreed the case was off limits.

Okay, okay.

I can't help thinking about Des and how
much he loves that show.

I could try.

I hope that's not the only reason we're
here. Because if it is, you're wasting

your time.

That's what you think.

I don't know why I bought it to pay
staff if I do all the donkey work

Oh, Desmond. stop complaining. Vince
needs to practice and Ricky had to go to

the dentist. Apparently that tooth kept
him awake all night.

Children today don't know they're born.

Well, we had a toothache. There were no
fancy dentists for us.

Yes, sir.

Piece of string slam on the door and it
bobs your uncle.

And we thought we were lucky.

Yeah, man. And if there was no string,
you just slam the door and run into it.

Oh, it's been so quiet around here these
last few days.

Yes, that's because I left you down here
with old snail fingers.

The man could spend two hours over a
man's head and don't say a word. He is

bleeding the warmth out of this
establishment.

Only a fool of us can keep on these
wages.

Hello, everybody.

Oh, Father, glad to see you in better
spirits.

Can't keep a good barber down.

The books are ready.

What does the literature have to say?

Well, it's very difficult to tell the
way these things will go. I mean, Father

may have been a tad negligent, watching
cricket while working, but the Reverend

didn't make a complaint at the time or
request follow -up hair care, which

stand in our favor.

But the business could still be ruined.

Oh, no, I don't think it's that drastic.

All we've got to do is try and reason
with the man.

He must be finding it very difficult
coming to terms with his wife leaving.

Why have you always got to be so
understanding?

Somebody want to throw you over a cliff,
you say, oh, don't put your back out.

Will your milk of human kindness never
run dry? No.

I ordered extra when I married you.

The devil.

Wrong side, my friend. I'm cheering for
the home team.

If you want to sling mud, you sling it
at my lawyer. That's what I'm paying

Wait, I come in peace, brother.

day, children.

I sat in my hotel room, alone and
destitute, amen, saved for the presence

Lord.

I thought I'd better try to get used to
these long, long, lonely nights.

And I didn't look to my Lord for
counsel. Now, I didn't have to look too

see, because he was right there.

And he called me.

Softly at first, he said, Marvin, I
said, what?

He said, Marvin!

I said, what?

Give the man a chance, Desmond. He may
have changed his mind. Preach, Reverend,

preach. He said, Marvin! Um, I think
we're all quite clear on how this

conversation started.

Pray continue.

Pardon the pun, but without me.

The Lord said, Marvin!

Go to this man!

Take Satan!

from his head.

And I said, get out of here, Lord.

But you know how persuasive the good old
Lord can be.

When I entered here, I heard somebody
speak of me as a devil.

It's just a figure of speech, Reverend.

I know.

But the devil is among us. There's evil
forces working here. Well, at least it

keeps them off the streets.

My brother, I know you're afraid, which
is why I've come to help you.

Well, at least you could cancel that
stupid lawsuit.

Are you nuts? No, I'm going to get paid
with that. No, no, no, no.

I'm here to save your soul.

Close him, Lord.

Same again?

Oh, no, please, allow me. It's the least
I can do.

What do you think

you're doing?

Is this your definition of nobbling?

Man, how long you been here?

I've been trailing you for most of the
morning. I knew you wouldn't recognize

behind this airport paperback.

Look, if she catches you, we're rumbled.

Well, I was the mastermind of this plan.

It's up to me to see it properly
executed.

And though your stories of old London
town move me, we mustn't forget the real

reason we are here. To get Desmond off
the hook. Look, I've tried, but she

even talk about it. Well, think
barrister, not barrow boy.

Don't mind, she's coming.

I knew you were putting me on. You fake!

When? Oh, Tuanica, look.

I can explain. It weren't my idea. When
I asked the guy for some how'd you feel,

he said he felt fine and asked me how I
was doing.

Yeah.

That cockney humour can be a killer,
can't it?

Oh, goodness.

Oh, don't worry about him. He's a bit
doolally.

Here, dig in.

I want to get a picture of you eating
this stuff.

Get on with it. All right, all right.

All right.

I know you said you don't want to talk
about it, right? But I think what your

uncle's doing to Des is bang out of
order.

He's family, Lee. You do the same.

But what if it weren't the haircut?

I mean, maybe his marriage was in stock
beforehand.

Maybe.

But the haircut was the last straw.

At least that's what he told everyone.

Oh, well, he ain't suffering in silence,
then. He doesn't know how.

Explain something to me, yeah?

If I can.

Now... I ain't no legal eagle, right,
but I've watched my fair share of L .A.

law.

Now, if someone goes around, right,
attacking the good reputation of someone

else, could that not be construed as
defamation of character?

At the simplest level, yes.

OK, take your time on this, yeah?

Who would have the stronger case?

Someone, let's say a barber, for
argument's sake, yeah?

Pillar of the community, professional
children.

wife, does a lot of work for charity,
and holds down a full -time job, you

that sort of thing. I mean, who would
you put your money on? This good, honest

barber whose character has been defamed,
or, for argument's sake again, a funky

reverend whose wife doesn't trust him
and has been thrown out of church.

Yes!

You said it was in the power of prayer.

Well, I'm coming to you now. I'm
praying. What's wrong with Reverend

now? There's one spirit pecking!

Good grief, it's the Pally Prince of
Peckham.

Uncle, are you all right?

We've got to talk.

Yeah, I'm fine, kitten.

I'll see you in court.

Uh, maybe not. We'll talk on the way.
Let's go.

Sorry for wasting your time.

What you talking about, girl? Come on,
Uncle.

Bye, Lee.

Bye.

Oh, we're going to pay the hotel bill,
child. No, wait a minute. I'm going to

send you to law school for this.

No law suits your student age.

You mean you actually got her to drop
it?

But, Lee, that's marvellous. Yes, she
was rather good under my expetution.

I told her straight. I said, hey, it
takes more than a barnet fair cut for

trouble and strife to leave me in the
right hole, two and eight on the Jack

Jones, I said.

Yeah, well, Lee, I don't know what you
said, but thank you for saying it. Yeah.

Me old China.