Original subtitles

From the long hot night with an ocean breeze to the damp and stew, the rail of

sun and sea.

We come from the sun to live in the cold, I live near and I want my coconut

tree.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up the way to the sea.

I want you to come down and measure how many feet per day I'm walking.

Why? You're going to make an extra charge for footage.

Come on, Popeye, no one messes things in feet anymore. My feet do.

That's what's wrong with the world today.

People keep changing things and it gets confusing. You know, countries changing

their names, men changing to women, women changing to men.

I think I'm going to go round and see Vanessa. Why changing to man? You

to spend a little more time around the house during your half term, you

remember? Yes, Mum, I remember.

Sweep up, take the dustbin out, have dinner with the family. Yeah, I

OK, OK, I hear you.

You hear me, but do you obey me?

Obey you?

Well, come on, Mum, this isn't the Victorian era anymore.

I mean, obeying, surrendering your rights, isn't it?

Rights? What rights? You're our son.

I'm also a person.

I'm off.

Will you speak to your mother like that? Do you want to speak with one? I hope

you hear me, hear me?

Ah, hello, Victor.

Good morning.

Trouble with the brood? Oh, nothing, nothing. How nice to see you, Victor.

please, call me Godfrey.

What can we do for you, Godfrey?

I thought I might indulge in a haircut.

Ah, Stephanie, sorry, Godfrey.

Now, what's it going to be, shorts back and sides?

Not much else you can do with it, is there?

I rather hope you might have some hair, Restorer.

I know something that's supposed to be very good.

Stewed cassava root and ginger beer.

Don't you listen to him, Reverend Godfrey. I put that stuff on my head

night for a week.

Did it work?

It was a miracle.

You were meant to eat it, Popeye.

You know...

I think there's only one thing left to do about your hair, Vicar. What's that?

Pray.

Excuse me.

The appliance of science.

Hello?

You're at the church already, sir?

I'll be there as soon as I can.

The key?

It's under the dustbin.

Goodbye, sir.

I'm sorry about that. My little indulgence will have to wait.

The boss always visits on the third Wednesday of the month. Your boss visits

person? You mean you can speak to them on the telephone just like that?

No, no, no, I have a problem. I can't call him up. You have a special number?

I was talking to the bishop.

Oh, which brings me to another reason why I'm here.

He's very impressed with Shirley's work in the community and wants to know if

she would preach on Sunday.

Oh!

Me? Preach? You're serious?

Absolutely.

We both think you'd be splendid.

I bet my cassock on it.

What does my wife know about preaching?

More than you know about barbering.

I know plenty.

I had to listen to my father every day for over 20 years.

Listening and doing are two entirely different things.

Back home, women have been preaching for years.

There's nothing extraordinary about it. Absolutely.

And now that they can be ordained... Just what I was saying. Men changing to

women, women changing to...

Which doesn't change the fact that preaching is for preachers. It's a man's

not for you, my little sugar flower.

You mean you think I should stick to doing the flowers and teaching them to

school? Yes.

No, look, don't put words in my mouth, Shirley. That's not what I'm saying.

Well, that's what you mean.

Oh, dear, I didn't mean to come between husband and wife.

No, you didn't, Vicar.

All you did was remind me what a cook or nuthead my husband can be.

Think about it.

Oh, Lord.

That'll be 41p, mate. How much?

But I only wanted one bottle of milk. At that price, I could buy the whole cow

and milk it myself.

Too late. I'm finished.

Boy, Mathieu, the shop is quiet this morning.

Just as well.

That's the sourest face I've ever seen.

Oh, he's just talking because Shirley's upstairs working on her sermon.

I'm not a happy man.

Yeah, well, it's your own fault, Dad.

And now, thanks to you, I'm numbered with the cooking on top of everything

Stop leaning on that room and sweep up. Just because you're at university, don't

think I can't make you eye water.

You can have to make my eye water as well, because I agree with Sean.

So do I. Sometimes your tongue is too loose inside your mouth, my friend.

No, looky. No, you look, Dad. If you hadn't told Mum that preaching was men's

work, she wouldn't have given it a second thought.

That's right.

She should be down here attending to the customers instead of pacing up and down

obsessed, worrying about what she's going to say.

I have to agree with Matthew and Sean and Gloria.

You know, Desmond, that Shirley is not one to walk away from a challenge. You

remember back home when we were in school and Teacher Ivy told us only the

were allowed to plant the big star apple tree in the schoolyard?

Shirley, she kneed right up to the top and took her lips like a man.

She was a child then. She's a grown woman now. Then she treats her like one.

Listen. I never said she couldn't preach.

Oh, well, you wouldn't dare that.

It's just that I don't like all this disruption.

She has not time to go shopping. The washing's piling up. I haven't had an

shirt for days.

Gloria's attempting to do here.

Meals are reduced to lettuce, leaves arranged by Sean. She's spending so much

time on this sermon, it's like if she were writing the Bible.

what she's preaching about?

I haven't got a clue, Beverly.

Well, tell us a thing.

And when we find out, Beverly, you will be the last to know. You

heathen! He's watching you, Desmond

Ambrose.

Withhold not good from them to whom it is due when it is in the power of thine

hand to do it.

Proverbs, chapter 3, verse 27.

Think about it.

I'll go and help, surely.

What do you think Shirley's theme will be? Lord knows. This is the first time

since we've been married she's been so secretive about anything.

You're losing your touch, Desmond. You should romance her a little.

I just blow into Susu's ear and she tells me everything.

Are you a believer?

I do.

That's because your head zips up the back.

Shirley's so wrapped up in this whole thing, it's as if her life depended on

It means more to her than you realize, Desmond.

I guess you're right. But I don't see what's so difficult about writing a

sermon. Perhaps if I was to offer her some help.

Did I hear the word help? Oh, yes, my dear.

Is there anything at all I can do for you?

Oh, that's very kind of you, Desmond. Look, here's a list of things we need

the supermarket.

Oh, certainly, my little sugarplum. No sooner said than done.

Ah, Beverly?

Sean, what's the time?

Sorry, Ma.

Just right in the fridge.

Didn't get much in the way of supper, remember?

Oh, I haven't been a model mum lately, have I? Well, if this is more important.

Sean, what kind of parents have we been?

Well, how do you mean?

Well, too tough, too, um, moralistic, too restrictive.

Too nosy, too bossy, too...

Oh dear.

We haven't been that bad, have we?

Oh, nah.

Well, you know, we give you a hard time because we're your kids, innit?

But at least you taught us right from wrong, you know? Set the boundaries.

In my opinion, you treat kids too much like humans and you end up with wild

animals.

Look who's talking.

Well, it's true.

Anyway, how's it going?

Well, something's cooking, but I don't quite know what it is.

That's what Dad says about my chilli.

Now I know what my father went through.

We had to put up with the devil all week, but come Sunday, there was the

of an angel.

Religion was very important to him, and he longed for someone to carry on in his

footsteps.

He wasn't an offend, didn't he?

Yes, he did.

I used to worry about him.

After Susu was born, my mother couldn't have any more children.

She used to help out at the local orphanage.

One day she brought this little boy home, Rudy.

She asked my father if he wanted to adopt him.

He asked her why.

And she said, because you've always wanted a son.

I failed you.

That was the first time I ever saw him embrace her.

He told her how much he loved her and us and that she could never feel him.

I never, ever worried about not being a boy after that.

So this preaching thing, it's not got to do with proving anything then, Mum?

That is a very good question, Sean.

I'll have to think about it.

I know it's old -fashioned to talk about discipline.

It's out of style with what is going on in the world.

But just look at what is going on.

Look at the effects of the liberal attitude.

It's easier to give in when your child asks for something instead of explaining

why not.

Oh yes, but no one ever said parenthood would be easy or free of responsibility.

Unless we as today's parents, young or old, take the lead in setting standards

of behavior for our children, who will?

It's easy to blame other people. The schools, the government, the recession.

But never mind who is to blame. Who can put it right?

We can.

We all know that a child treated by adults with affection and politeness

to respond in like manner.

So there's the answer staring us right in the face.

It is up to us, the parents.

Well, that's it.

That is all I've got to say.

Perhaps somebody up there could give me a sign if you think it was okay.

It's only me.

Oh, you scared me half to death.

My poor feet told me to pop in here for a little rest on the way home.

I must have been sleeping when you came in.

I heard your voice and I thought, I thought I was dreaming. But then I

and there you were in the pulpit.

Your father would have been proud of you, Shirley.

You think so, Popeye?

Yeah, ma 'am.

You get so little praise in here, you keep patting yourself on the head all

morning.

Come on, Dad, I just want to look good, all right?

You want to look good?

Change that tie.

Come on, Dad, God doesn't care about the colour of my tie.

No, but I do.

You two have got the best idea of getting out of Mum's way.

She's changed her outfit at least half a dozen times, and your bedroom looks

like Sean's room. I've never seen her so nervous.

Maybe I'm supposed to give her some advice.

No, Dad, she'll end up with a saucepan on her head instead of a hat.

And while you're doing your nails, you're going to church, not to a dance.

You know, St. Dad, you're a hypocrite.

Stop pretending we're regular church girls, because we're only going today

because Mum's preaching.

Well, just for today, let's look as if we're regular church girls.

Yeah, as long as it's just for today.

I hate to think we have to go for this every Sunday.

Yeah, but supposing if she does well. I mean, really well.

Well, isn't that what you want?

Yeah, well, of course, Dad.

But, I mean, suppose Mum decides to take it more seriously.

You know, go into the church. Get ordained. Become a priest even.

See it now.

Yeah, you'll knock him dead, Mum.

Right, let's go.

Shirley,

I've been thinking about what you said since Sunday.

We don't have sermons like that at our church.

All Pastor Lewis talk about is sin and wickedness.

The last time I heard a powerful sermon like that was when

Agatha visited our parish church back home in 1962.

She must have had about 20 converts that Sunday.

a delegation and went to have a word with your vicar.

What on earth for? We want to hear you preach again.

Hallelujah.

Beverly, you had no right to do that.

Now you're talking, said Shirley.

Tell this woman to take her amen, women, and get out of here.

You had one sermon in you and you preached it.

Is that what you think?

You're saying I couldn't do it again?

That's exactly what I'm saying.

sermon does not make a preacher.

Well, if that is the attitude you're going to take, I think I shall have to

some serious thought to what Beverly is saying.

Preaching more often.

Looking into the possibility of becoming who knows, ordained. Yes, you should.

In the Gambia, we'll be proud to have a woman secretary in our community.

We would honor you, encourage you to abandon all earthly things.

and become a bride of Christ.

Have you gone mad?

This is my bride, and she's going to stay my bride. Look on the positive

Edmund. Think of the reflected glory.

There's an old African saying.

If you walk in the shade of an elephant, you never get a sunstroke.

Think about it.

Are you calling my wife an elephant?

I don't think so, Edmund. Why is everybody taking sides against me? You,

Gentlemen,

you come in.

Now, who is first?

Well, you know, Desmond, I really didn't come for a haircut.

That's all right, Bert. The usual, Vince.

Did I say I want a haircut?

I'm just telling Bert.

Oh, you're coming? to see me? Well, it's nice how you can drop in any time you

feel like it and have a chat.

I didn't exactly come to see you, Desmond.

Well, what exactly did you come for, Bert?

You sure you make the man get ugly?

I'd like to have a word with Sister Shirley.

Hey, man!

I think all these years, those two have been

coming to my shop to see me.

Before you know it, everyone's going to be calling me Mr. Shirley.

You'd better watch your step.

You could soon be out of a job. You don't know how right you are.

Only one person came to my surgery this morning.

Surgery? You're a doctor as well as a vicar. I didn't know.

I don't know. I give daily meetings for my parishioners. They're called

surgeries. I suppose in a way I am a sort of doctor.

The doctor of the soul.

Excuse me.

Many are called.

Hello.

Good morning, Mrs Fitzgerald.

Yes, it's a lovely morning.

What seems to be the problem?

Who?

Mrs Ambrose?

No, she doesn't live with me.

No, I don't have a number with me, but I know a man who does.

Why don't you come and see me later? We can... Oh, I see.

I'm sorry I can't be of help then.

Goodbye.

Um, why did that person want my wife's number?

Mrs. Fitzgerald has a problem she can only discuss with a woman.

Her doctor is a man, her vicar is a man, her husband is a man.

That's the point.

Why anyone ever thought that male priests could have all the answers is

me.

Look, I don't want to appear selfish, but please don't ask my wife to preach

again. I really must apologize, Desmond.

Things do seem to have got a little out of hand.

Well, if you want a wife in the pulpit, get one of your own.

Maybe I should, yes.

But I'll have to have a word with the boss first.

Ah.

No.

Enjoyed that, Mum. It was really nice.

Yes. First time in weeks that we've all sat down together.

And remember... The family that eats together stays together.

Yeah, as long as Sean ain't the cook.

What was in that chili?

You don't want to know.

And Joe John did the best that he could.

I appreciated his help.

So did I.

Shirley, you're my favorite cook, my favorite wife. His favorite preacher?

Shh, please, don't say that.

The sooner this whole episode passes into the realms of history, the better.

You mean you want to forget about it, don't you, Mum? No, I just want to wrap

up and put it away.

Until the next time. Who knows?

It was a great sermon, Mum.

Yeah, you really made me think.

Well, it is a first time for everything.

If Grandad had heard that, he definitely wouldn't have wanted a son anymore.

I'll drink to that.

I'm off, you lot.

Oh, will you be late back, Sean?

No, no.

I'll be back before you can say, Amen!

Me and Ron are going to the picture tonight.

See you later, Sister Shirley.

Once upon a time, she'd have said, may I go to the pictures with Ronnie?

Once upon a time, she believed in Father Christmas.

She's a grown woman now.

We did all right, didn't we?

They were proud of you.

They believed in you.

I'll tell you something.

There were times when I didn't.

When I just wanted to give up on the whole idea.

But you didn't.

How could I? You'd have said, I told you so.

Yes.

I'll tell you something else.

You were right.

I had one sermon in me, and I preached it.

Praise the Lord.