Original subtitles

From the long hot night with an ocean breeze to the damp and to the rain of

London city.

We come from the sun to live in the cold, I miss Miranda, what my coconut

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your way to the field.

Now you take it easy, Mr. Gatkin.

There you go.

Bye -bye.

Desmond, I'm sorry to say this, but I think you need some new customers.

Why? What's wrong with the old ones?

Nothing. But for a barbershop to operate successfully, it would help if the

customers had hair.

You just leave my hair out of this.

Well, we have to, as your hair left your head a long time ago.

I hope you charge Methuselah the full rate and not your OAP rate.

Look, I cut what's left of his hair in three minutes flat. You want me to

him the full rate?

The way you cut hair, you shouldn't charge at all.

What we need is a new generation of regular Desmond's customers to keep us

business right through to the next century. He won't listen.

The young people who come here don't want haircuts, we do.

Who does?

Oh, they want front line, high top, skin fade and all kind of different designs.

But Tony does those. If he gave his side of the business more emphasis,

perhaps... Yes.

Now, we think... Since when you become we, Matthew?

Until you learn more practical experience instead of book experience,

bother to tell me how to run my business.

Well, I sense a distinct air of anti -intellectuality today.

What is going on?

It's only Sean and your mother up there.

You want to guess who it is?

Sean!

Sean! What is Sean doing listening to records when he should be studying for

exams? Apparently he's organizing a dance of some sort at his college.

Probably a dancer.

Brings it all back.

Um,

better get back.

Have you ever heard such a night? This old house is shaky enough as it is. Yes,

and so is this old barber.

Gloria, how did you get on? Don't ask.

300 applicants, and I probably won't even bother telling me I didn't get the

job. Oh, but you must not give up. I know.

Why, is Sean still playing that madness?

Sean!

You know, you used to play your music that loud.

It's not the... volume, that's the problem.

Oh, yes, it is.

It's the words.

You mean they're our words? Yeah, and they're shameful and it's all Sean

Oh, singing my praises again, eh, sis?

Listen, I'm off to Spiders, yeah?

Spiders? You mean that good -for -nothing school friend of yours?

You mean Spider Ranks, London's latest dance hall don?

He's the main attraction at our dance.

Britain's answer to Shabba. Who?

Shabba Ranks.

Biggest and broadest death DJ.

And even though he's buzz, he stills have done.

And the kids on the crosshairs.

Spider's a big -time rag -a -star now, you know. And with his name on the

posters, we'll get all the homies and beanies queuing up for tickets.

Homies and beanies? Anybody got a dictionary?

Boys and girls, Dad.

Spider's doing really well, you know. I mean, you can't even turn on the radio

without hearing one of his tunes.

I can't. I've never heard him.

Oh, well, what station do you listen to, Matt?

Radio 4.

Yeah,

you should.

Because I don't want you playing that music in this house anymore, Sean

I'm sorry, did I miss something?

Mum, is that you disguised as Gloria?

Listen, do you have the right to tell me what I can and can't do in my own

house? I'm not telling you what you can and can't do in your own house. I'm

telling you to stop playing them records, especially that Annie song.

Annie's Wicked Man, that was Spider's first tune.

Anyway, I don't know what all the fuss is about. They're only songs.

They're not only songs.

They're sexist, homophobic, misogynistic... Misogyny? Oh, men that

Uncle Paul Pye. What kind of man hates woman?

Listen, I'm out of here. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Before you go, why don't you let us

hear one of Spider's songs?

Well, I can't really remember the words, you know. You're too light. All right,

I'll help you.

I have a little girl. She's sweet like honey. Come lay down. Honey, let me rub

you. Gloria!

Gloria!

Look,

look, I've got to give the customer what they want. Ain't that right, Dad?

Absolutely, son.

But surely that depends on what they want. You tell them, Mum.

Listen, Gloria, you've got nothing better to do. I do.

See you later.

Whee! Second!

Second, second, second.

Hold it down.

Coming to you live and direct.

Desmond's massive, biggie top fit, spider rank.

Spider rank, more like.

Good afternoon, Mr Ambrose, Mrs Ambrose.

And Gloria.

What, my Nubian queen?

I'm not one of them skinhead girls, you know. I'm an intelligent, independent

woman. Yeah, all right, all right.

You're an independent, intelligent woman.

But, um, you still look fit, though. You want... Excuse me.

Well, well.

You blink, and before you know it, your children are arguing over politics.

And the big words.

What does homophobic mean?

Anti -gay, Popeye.

Oh, dear.

You know, we didn't have gay people when we were young.

Yes, you did.

There have always been gay people.

We don't have them in Africa, of course.

Does Spider -Man just come in here?

What's it to you?

You see, I told you it was him, man.

You mean Spider -Man gets his hair cut here?

Well... Could you do me cut just like Spider -Rex?

Now? No, I ain't got no money on me now, but can you do it? Well, of course,

then. All right, then, we'll see you. More time, yeah?

Well, well, well.

Suddenly Desmond's is becoming fashionable.

Hey, yo, Bernie.

How's it going, man? Thanks, man. What's up?

So it's you who's organising this, doesn't it? Believe?

Oh, I get it. No, no, no. If it's tickets you want, sorry guys, no

We don't want none of your tickets.

We want you to cancel the Spider Ranks gig.

You what?

You heard.

Cancel the Spider Ranks gig. You must be crazy. Spider's the main attraction.

What have you got against him anyway?

He's a slack DJ, Sean.

Haven't you heard his tunes?

Yeah. Oh, and you sanction all that anti -gay, anti -women stuff.

You haven't been talking to Gloria, have you?

No. Look.

This is our college and our dance.

We're not going to allow our dance to be insulted and alienated by someone we're

paying to perform.

But you're not paying him anything. Spider's performing for free. It doesn't

make any difference.

If Spider's playing, no dance.

What, you think just because you lot ain't going to come, it's not going to

happen? If we're not coming, no one else will.

We'll picket the dance and make sure no one can get in.

You're crazy.

Do we have a deal, then?

No Spider ranks.

No way.

Sean? Don't even bother calling my name.

If that's you, Gloria, go find someone else to fight with.

No, it isn't Gloria, Sean. It's me, Bernie.

Can I come in?

Sean?

Hey, can I come in?

Do what you like.

Look, man, I'm...

I just wanted to say, look, about this afternoon and all that... What are you

doing hanging out with Debbie Milliton and her posse for, anyway?

I mean, what have you got against Spider?

Oh, hang on, it's Spider that's got something against me.

Well, how do you mean?

Well, look, I mean, how do you expect me to feel when there's some guy on stage

just dissing gay people all the time?

Well, come on, Spider's no different from any other DJ.

I mean, what about that dance last month? That DJ dropped pure slack tune

slack tune, and you were on the dance floor all night.

Come on, Burn, they're only lyrics, they don't mean anything. No, no, hold on a

minute. Wasn't it you who convinced me that the messages in rap music were

to politicise black people?

So how come all of a sudden words don't mean anything?

Well, come on, Bernie, that's different. How?

Come on, how is it different?

I mean, how is it different from those Negro spirituals they sang in churches

during slavery, huh?

Let my people go and all that?

Man, how can you say words don't mean anything?

Well, if that's the way you feel, how come it's never bothered you before?

well, it has.

But you know what it's like. It's almost impossible to go to a dance without

hearing slackness.

But look, Sean, in this case, we do have a choice.

It's our college. It's our dance.

You're my friend, and you're in charge of the music.

Now, you've got to take a stand, Sean, because if people hadn't stood up and

fought for what they believed in, then you and I would still be cutting sugar

cane.

Well, at least you'd be in the sun.

I don't know, man. You know what, Bernie?

What? You should be a politician, you know that? Yeah?

Yeah. Can you imagine? A black gay MP.

Maybe even the first black Prime Minister. Yeah.

As long as you'd have me in your cabinet, of course.

Well, better than being in the closet.

But listen, what's to happen on Saturday, then? I mean, the guys from

are still coming round to demonstrate.

What, even if I cancel Spider's PA?

No, not the PA.

Spider's celebrity appearance in the shop.

I mean, you have seen the posters.

Shop? What posters?

I think you'd better go and talk to your dad.

Well, it was nice of Spider agreeing to make a personal appearance at Desmond's

for my little relaunch. Our relaunch, Father. Yes, yes. Well, Spider and I can

speak to one another, musician to musician.

Hey, what's going on?

What have you done with my posters?

Well, if Spider turns up to make his appearance on Saturday afternoon, just

imagine how much free publicity you get for your dance when everyone comes to

see their hero. Well, but, but, but... And it's Father's idea as well as mine.

We'll settle, settle, settle!

You cannot promote Spider as some kind of hero. He's a slack DJ.

Wait a minute.

Weren't you defending him a few days ago?

Well, he's not playing anymore.

And I think he should cancel his visit here tomorrow.

Do you know how much business we stand to gain?

Michael, who cares about business?

He's setting a bad example for young people to follow. Yeah, and bringing him

here is sanctioning those values.

Is who talking to you?

And fellas, would you two mind taking your juvenile politics elsewhere? Look,

can't take my politics elsewhere. This is my home. You don't even live here

anymore anyway.

Look, Michael, there are certain things that come before money.

Like what?

Dad, will you cancel this thing?

Don't be stupid, Sean. The relaunch will go ahead as planned.

I can talk to myself.

Don't be stupid, Sean. The relaunch will go ahead as planned.

Look, Dad, if you don't cancel this thing, then I'm going to go outside and

a demonstration.

What demonstration? Yeah, tomorrow there's going to be a demonstration

Spider outside this shop.

You mean you want to join them worthless, dirty, jing -bang, no -good,

frenzied...

Start this place on Saturday.

You know about this? Yes, well, they came here talking about spider

demonstrations and boycotts, but all kinds of stupidness. Well, Dad, why

you tell me?

Well, when you came in, you looked a bit upset, so I thought I'd tell you later.

But I did not know that I had a traitor living under my roof.

Mr. Ambrose, try and see our point of view. Bernard, what's that got to do

it? Well, as a gay man... And as a straight man... And as a businessman,

having too little fitness any longer on my shop. Our shop. This shop. Look, are

you going to cancel it or not?

I'm sure Spider will turn up. He knows the journalists are due to arrive at 2 o

'clock. Oh, by the way, they suggested a photo opportunity with you in the

barber's chair, Father.

Right. So try and vaguely look like you know what you're doing.

You mean like he's been trying to do for the last 30 years?

Well, Desmond, you like it?

Safe, safe, safe.

Spider, you see any demonstrators on your way over here?

Nah. Just a couple of fly girls looking well... Well, um... They were looking

well.

Do you think they're really going to demonstrate?

Well, you never can tell.

Ever since the 60s, students think they could change the world by carrying

placards and singing stupid songs.

Well, you never used to complain when the judge, Don Dreamers, played student

union gigs.

Cash in one hand, drink in the other.

What's all this about demonstration?

Why don't I ask Judas here?

How you doing, man? All right. Great, man.

So, what's all this about a demonstration?

In a minute.

By the way, listen, about tonight's gig, I've had to cancel it, man.

Ah, don't worry about it, man. Look, I'm really sorry, man. No, it's all right.

I tried to reach you and thing. I know, I'm hard to find, innit? Yeah, I mean, I

know you're pointing yourself out now. It's nothing personal. Well, it is sort

of. Sean, I said it's all right, man.

Yo, Dredd.

Yeah, it's me. What are you saying?

Yeah, listen, you know that other PA you told me about tonight?

Yeah, I'll do it.

Yeah, sort it out already, yeah?

Safe. Peace, man.

So, Sean, what's going on, man?

Well, Spider, basically, because of your slackness, people at college don't want

you coming up on stage chatting nastiness and insulting everybody.

Which people?

Are you one of them?

Yes, I am, Spider.

Sean, man, you haven't teamed up with that anti -slackness, politically

lobby, have you?

Look... People love me because of my flack lyrics. Yeah, but what about all

women that you're dissing and stuff?

They're my biggest fans.

Listen, all the girlies, they love me.

Yeah, well, Spider, maybe they'll love you even more if you show them some

respect, you know? Nah, man, you're lost.

This is the reality business.

All that liberal theory don't work, man.

What's all that noise about?

It's the demonstrators.

They're coming for you.

Me?

Michael!

Desmond! Open up!

Barricade the doors!

Desmond, what is going on? Can you tell looters when you hear them? They're not

looters, Desmond. They're protesters and they're demonstrating for something

they believe in. Yes, something I believe in and will stand up for, too.

Don't you even think of joining them. Dad, if you're not part of the solution,

you're part of the problem.

Come on, Bernie, let's go.

Michael, let's not close.

barbershop Beirut.

Where? Where are you?

The demonstrators won't let you in?

They're blasted students.

Let's see what they can do.

Who was that Desmond? He's the journalist from the newspaper.

These students won't let him into the shop. What is this world coming to when

barber can't barber in peace?

That's it, I'm calling the police.

They think they can disrupt a reputable bank manager in the course of promoting

his father's business. Have you tried to see it from their point of view? The

students, they don't have a point of view.

Desmond, I demand you retract that statement.

I will do nothing of the sort.

You tell him, Des.

Spider, what is it you sing about that make all these people feel so strongly?

I don't know, really.

Of course you do.

What is that Annie song about?

He seemed too ashamed to sing it. You sing it for me now, Spider.

Mother, is this really necessary?

I don't want to.

Why not?

Don't worry, I'm broad -minded. I did marry a musician, you know.

I can't.

Why, you think it will offend me too?

Maybe. So why do you sing about things that you know will offend people?

I'm sure your mother didn't bring you up that way. What would happen if your

mother heard one of your songs?

Mum's proud of me.

You know, I'm not an adult.

But don't lie. Don't teeth.

Anyway, I'm making money. I'm just trying to make a living. Exactly.

What those students don't understand is if they want to live in their idealistic

world, they should leave people like us who live in the real world alone.

Right. I think I know where I stand.

This is where you're going.

Well, I'm obviously not working in this shop. I'm going to join my fellow

students.

All right, this one. This has gone far enough. You better get out there before

the things get out of hand. Yes, come along, Father.

The Chancellor's statement came in response to statements made by the

Chancellor at a meeting for delegates last night.

What? Got any batteries for the camera?

No. Why do you need a camera?

To take pictures of Sean when he gets back from the police station.

You know, to use as evidence.

Oh, sit down and shut up. You're trying to watch the news.

What's that?

Schultz has been arrested and all you care about is the television.

Oh, he'll be all right.

Michael's gone to get him.

There's nothing we can do anyway.

Shut up!

Oh, my God!

Let me take interest.

What happened?

Did I show you all right?

And where's Bernie? Is he still locked up?

Gloria, everything's fine. Will you stop being so dramatic?

We dropped Bernie off at the home.

And Matthew, what happened to you?

I have never seen any... It is so disgraceful.

Do the police in this country have no respect for education?

I was handled like a common criminal.

I told them, don't you know I studied law?

There, Matthew, it's all right now.

Nice one, Sean.

We have a little revolutionary brother.

Gloria, if you want to be the dead sister of a revolutionary, carry on.

How do I respect what you did, Sean?

They should have gone about it in the correct way. You need police permission

hold a demonstration.

Imagine what could have happened.

A barbershop in Peckham was today besieged by protesters gathered in

against the growing trend for slack ragamuffin music.

The angry mob besieged the shop when Spiderank, Britain's leading exponent of

the music form, which has been widely criticised for its offensive lyrics, was

seen entering the premises.

Police were called to disperse the crowd and several arrests were made.

Simon

Greenhill

spoke to the owner of the shop, Mr Desmond Ambrose. What exactly happened

this afternoon, Mr Ambrose?

Well, I was very busy inside the shop giving the best haircuts in Peckham.

Will you be pressing charges?

Well, no, I sympathize with the students being a former musician myself. You

know the John Stone dreamers?

No, getting back to the point.

Yes, well, we're very much against all this slackness, but as a businessman, I

can't not cut people's hair because of their morality. I mean, I'm a barber,

a politician. Even if John Taylor was to come through, I'd try and do something

with it.

I would have been out here demonstrating myself.

Hello,

Desmond's Barbershop.

I'm a very close at the moment.

I would book an appointment if I were you.

Is that in your publicity that I could have imagined possible?

Of course, you know, I planned the whole thing myself.

That's beginning to sound like Michael.

It's called intelligence, Gloria. It's called greed, Michael.

Desmond's Barbershop, Beckham.

You're held in a queue and will be answered shortly.

Father, what are you doing? We need all the customers we can get.

So you're thinking all about business, eh? This is called marketing hype

exclusivity.

You mean you don't want to be rushed off your feet, is that it?

Exactly. Well, don't forget what trouble marketing hype got Spider into with his

dirty lyrics.

Exactly, fame and fortune.

Popeye! Maybe we can revive the Georgetown dreamers in a hint of

You're not serious.

I can see it now.

Desirant.

It's a good thing Matthew is at College Poker. There wouldn't be room for him

this morning.

Come on.

Television speech was so good that you even convinced a rasta man to cut his

dreadlocks.

Oh, man, it's me, Spider.

What's that on your head, Spider?

Is that a wig or a weave?

I know, it's a true rasta now.

Sean, what happened last night, man? You all right? I'm all right, I'm all

right. What's all this, man?

Man, my record company's talking about dropping me because of all this trouble.

All this flatness business ain't worth it, man. My friends are turning against

me. Well, we're not turning against you personally, Spider.

No, man. I know what it is.

And I thought, why do I want to be Britain's answer to Shabba or Buju?

I'm not ugly.

And anyhow, I and I is a conscious brethren now.

I want to be Britain's answer to Bob Marley.

Pure consciousness, my Nubian queen.

Spider, I'm so proud of you.

I know it was just a bad phase you were going through. Yeah, well, Bernie would

be really happy.

Well, I'm not. Just look how busy this shop is.

I ain't even finished my morning because someone is in the early afternoon

already.

Mister, face front or go and get your hair cut elsewhere.

Just think, all that fame and fortune and all those women, and you're going to

give it up.

That's brilliant.

Give up what?

Check this.

The whole world knows Bob Marley. He hasn't made a record in 10 years and

still in the charts.

And think of all the girlies.

I'm going for the big time.