Original subtitles

From the long, hot night to the ocean breeze, to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the cold, I'm in the rum, I want my coconut

tree.

Don't touch my sofa, till the party's over.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your waist and feel the heat.

Oh, Gloria, bring out the decanter and don't forget my special little vase for

the table.

I hope this is worth my while, Mother.

I had an important engagement tonight.

Who is, Michael?

Just somebody.

You mean anybody.

I went out with anybody once. Then I met somebody. Now I've got nobody.

There, there. Poor pipe.

I was saving that for when we went back home. Excuse me. I thought this was my

10th anniversary present.

Well, I don't want the Martins using it.

Gloria, put it on the table. But I want it. Please, on the table.

Every year it's the same thing. Same arguments about the same plates and the

same glasses.

If you don't like them, why do you have them to dinner?

Well, your mother said... Your father said... Baldwin Martin is a very good

friend and he's done quite well for himself.

He's done okay.

He's got a very nice...

A Bentley?

Yes. And a not -too -gingy five -bedroom house in the country?

Yes. Has he got a Bentley?

You should keep in touch with old friends. I remember Baldwin, Martin and

You always had money.

Yes, he was shrewd even then. Shrewd? He used to sell sour mango to any fool who

would buy them two cents each.

It's just as well we know what he was all about.

Sounds like an intelligent businessman to me.

Yeah, well, if you knew what it was like, how come he did so well?

Some of us didn't have any common sense.

You never thought of that.

Every time. We used to call your dad the laxative man.

Well, that's all in the past now.

Where is Sean?

Sean, I really don't see anything to get upset about.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't. Oh, come on, Sean, it's only a film. Only a film?

Yeah.

The director's a genius, a master.

Spike. And you made me miss it.

Miss it? We only missed the first 30 seconds. Well, that's what I mean. It

30 -second tracking shot. Crucial.

Sean, you've only been reading The Guardian for three weeks and suddenly

a film critic.

Yeah, well, the tickets cost a lot of money, Colette.

We went that, Sean.

Man, it's a waste of time talking to you.

Oh, what's that supposed to mean?

Well, I mean, next time I take you to see Rambo 5, at least you'll understand

that.

Colette. Go read your Guardian.

Lovely, Shirley.

As always, my dear, compliments cannot describe the beauty of your cooking.

I thought your rather liberal use of papaw was very interesting.

Yes, very authentic.

Ethnic.

Very authentically ethnic.

I liked it, Mrs. Ambrose.

suppose you get much Guyanese food in Surrey, do you, Samantha?

No. I wish we did.

Um, more wine, anyone?

Yeah, ma 'am. Fill it up.

This is just the sweetest little vase, Mrs.

Ambrose. Yes, it is, isn't it? It is my favourite vase.

I hope you don't mind, but could I possibly have it? Oh, Samantha, please.

If Shirley didn't know us better, she might think that was impolite.

isn't it, Shirley?

Yes, yes, dear. Thank you, Mrs.

Ambrose.

Samantha, wouldn't you like to go and listen

to some music with Gloria and Sean?

I'd love to, Mrs.

Ambrose. Thanks, Mum.

You here from back home lately?

I hear everybody's doing fine. You going back this year?

Oh, well, we're saving up. Oh, still saving.

Now, Christmas.

I'm taking the whole family back home for Christmas.

You are?

Are you? You is?

I was there a couple of weeks ago, and things are very hard, you know, Desmond.

Remember where we all used to play?

The old community hall?

Nope.

Was I talking to you, Popeye?

No, but I answer in any...

Community Hall?

Well, it's in bad need of repair.

It's a real shame what's become of the old place.

I don't remember it.

You've been away a long time, Porky, okay?

Anyway, I have decided to set up a fund to refurbish it. And I'm asking for

donations from Guyanese business people throughout the UK to get the ball

rolling, as it were. Really?

I know you're into your small business, so I'm not looking for much. Just

what... Whatever you can afford.

I remember the church, but I can't remember any community hall.

It's a community hall in the church I'm talking about, Porky.

What do you would like to help?

Splendid. I've got a bit of spare cash lying about in the back.

Do what?

In what account, Father? I knew you'd agree, Des.

Um, what are we talking about? Ten pounds? Twenty pounds?

It needs major repair.

I'm putting in a thousand.

A thousand bucks?

Are we refurbishing a hall or building it? Don't worry, Des. I wouldn't dream

asking you for that kind of money.

It's rather nice. The local people have decided to name the hall the Martin

Memorial Hall after us.

What for?

The size of our contribution.

Well, how much would it take to wipe your name out and put my name on it?

Well, if you could top our donation, then...

The Ambrose Memorial Hall, it would obviously be.

But that's a lot of money, Desmond.

We'd hate to put you through any hardship.

Hardship? There won't be any hardship.

Who dares?

Shall I?

Is the lady of the house in full agreement?

Popeye, let's go buy some mangoes.

I'll help you.

Bye -bye, laxative man.

I mean, when we came here, we thought things would be a bit better. Oh, and

don't get me wrong, we came to work and to work hard.

Things were hard back then, whatever island you came from.

But we're a hard -working people.

We love our country.

We love our people.

And we want to help our people.

A very good speech, Desmond.

Look, man, we want to help the people of Guyana.

I agree.

Barrett, put in for me now.

I don't have any money. You put in for me.

Look, man, it's only money.

There.

What about my haircut?

What's more important, helping your people or your haircut?

My haircut.

Please sit down and take off your jacket.

This, I ain't got any money, mate. All right, then, I'll have the jacket.

How would you put it in, Matthew?

Nothing. What do you mean, nothing?

Well, there's an old African saying.

Never give away your money.

That's right.

Popeye? Me? Well, you know.

No, I don't know.

Well, recession and thing. No, no, I don't even know what you're talking

Put some money in the trade.

God.

Ferocity Lewis.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, listen, I'm late. Have you got any change? Great, thanks.

See you later.

All right, all right, all right.

We'll have to hold a raffle, and you will sell the tickets.

A raffle?

What's the prize?

Mangoes? Shut up and listen, folk pie.

The prize will be a bottle of rum. Is that all?

No, people not gonna buy tickets for just one bottle of rum. You have to

it up a bit.

Yes.

You mean you gotta make it look nice? Yes.

You mean it's got to be presented tastefully? Yes.

In something bright and sparkling like a cut glass decanter set?

Yes.

You've got to visit.

Hello, Sean.

I was just passing and I felt I just had to see you.

See me?

Why, how many other Seans are there in this house?

Oh, you've got a computer.

I've got one just like it.

You show me yours and I'll show you mine, eh?

This

is Samantha.

Thanks for calling, but right now I'm... Really busy.

I know, Sean, but I can help you.

Help me? Yes.

But first we have to get to know each other.

Yeah. What star sign are you, Sean?

Oh, well, I'm... Aquarius, aren't you? Yeah. I knew it. I'm a Leo.

We're well suited.

We are?

Yes. Air and fire.

Air fans fire and makes it burn more brightly.

So, um, what package have you got?

Package? For your computer.

Oh, I see. Well, I haven't quite put the package on yet.

In fact, I won't get the computer till Saturday.

It's going to be a present for my dad.

To celebrate what?

Nothing in particular.

Sorry, but I can smell burning.

Desmond, Chef de Marnie's waiting.

Chef? Chef who?

Where you going, you gaslighter?

Desmond, look around you.

It's nearly lunchtime and you're frightening everybody off with this

raffle. So what's this, a dummy?

How many tickets do you want?

Now you see what you've done? Put your mind on the job.

My mind is on the job, it's the customers that have to wait. Desmond,

business and all you... Worrying about his Baldwin Martins money?

This is about more than money, surely. This is about preserving the Ambrose

name. This is about wandering the Ambrose pavings. What time you call

many tickets you sell?

Don't be so rude.

Okay, okay.

My dear Matthew and Popeye, how delicious to see you.

Did you have a nice morning? And how many tickets you sell?

None.

Hopeless, hopeless.

But I remember to buy the mango for you, Shirley.

1945.

Ali!

Oh, there's me old son.

Those raffle tickets, what a way to meet the girls.

I tell you what, I was talking to this girl, right? Raffle tickets in hand.

thing, I was having dinner with her. Yeah, but how many tickets did she buy?

Well, she didn't want to buy any. But she said she wouldn't mind going to

for her holiday, though.

Oh, Sean.

What time did you get in last night?

About 12.

Oh, good, good. How many tickets did you sell?

None. None? Why not?

Well, the prize is alcohol, Pop, and it's illegal for me to procure money

adolescents for the consumption of spirits.

You mean to tell me you come in this house at midnight last night as if it's

hotel, and you don't even have the appreciation to sell two raffle tickets

your father?

Dad, I could get arrested.

Well, no -one seems to understand that a man is coming at the end of the week

for his money, and we don't have any yet.

Oh, I'm sorry, Desmond, but it's you who don't have any money yet.

You're not still going on about this far -fetched scheme in Guyana, are you,

Father? talking about helping our people michael our people i'm british and

proud of it oh typical backward buppy mentality i

think the whole thing is pathetic i mean who's organizing contracts and

international money orders and who's the accountant father do you know and what

did this raffle thing is a complete failure. Where is the money coming from?

Because it definitely is not coming out of the shop account.

Yes, and it's definitely not coming out of my holiday money.

All right. All right.

That's it.

You're going to watch the Ambrose name forgotten by family and friends back

home. You're going to watch the humiliated ballman Martin come for his

You're going to watch the opportunity for the Ambrose name to be revered

throughout the whole of Guyana, snatched away forever.

Is that what you want?

Well, yes, really.

Oh, look, don't give up now, Des. We can sell those tickets if we put our minds

to it. It just takes a bit of technique.

Even Matthew here can do it. Do you really think so?

Yeah, of course you can, Matt. Have a go.

Give me some money for this rational ticket, now.

Oh, Matt, you've got a charm, haven't you?

Paul, why don't you have a go? Who, me?

I don't even remember the community hall.

Look, all you... My name is Desmond Ambrose. I'm trying to sell these raffle

tickets to assist the needy people of Guyana.

Can I tempt you?

No, mate, no.

Look, you've got to do it like this.

I ain't joking, I ain't lying. and I'm talking about a bargain the likes of

which me and you have never seen. I've sold this stuff from Timbuktu to Bognor

Regis and I have never, I repeat, never had a complaint.

Now... Excuse me, missus. Forget whiskey, forget brandy, forget

spirits. I'm talking about spontaneous combustion, internal incineration, weed

that burns through the brickwork of your local. I'm talking about the good old

-fashioned Ray and Winston's overproofed 2 ,000 % rum. Now, I've got three

tickets left and they need one to get one, so don't waste my time. I'll tell

straight, it ain't legal, it ain't safe, but if you want to shut your mother -in

-law up once and for all and still have enough for next door's Rob Lila, then

get one now. Any takers?

Ready, done.

What's for the shades, guys?

Well, this is a ragamuffin area, isn't it, Lee?

Oh, look, you don't believe all that media rubbish, do you?

Yes.

Look, now, you remember what I taught you, yeah?

Yes.

Oh, Lord.

Don't waste my time!

I'll tell you what's right, it ain't legal and it ain't safe!

I just can't do it your way. Of course you can, man.

Look, I ain't joking. I ain't lying. I'm talking about a bargain which you and

me ain't seen the lights off. I've sold this stuff from here. It's just not me.

All right, then. How'd you do it in Africa?

Oh, thank you very much.

Can I have your attention for a minute, please? Can I have your

attention?

Most of you know me and I recognize many of your heads.

Yes, ma 'am.

Hurry up, I want to finish the game.

Well, all right.

Most of you know me, and I know most of you.

We go back a long way, many of us.

So I can be honest.

I need your help, and I need it now.

But I ain't asking for something for nothing.

But what you do may benefit many people in Guyana.

And all it will cost is the price of a raffle ticket.

The price is this beautiful commemorative...

Can you shut that, please? It's private.

That wasn't funny, Samantha.

Yes, it was.

Look, I'm fed up with telling you, Samantha.

You know what your problem is, Sean?

You don't know how to loosen up.

He's an Ambrose boy. He can't help it. You could at least have locked the door,

Sean. I want an explanation now.

Helping her with her homework?

Gloria, I can do without your sarcasm right now.

And Colette?

Well, you should know me better than that.

Can I have some privacy, please, Gloria?

You're welcome.

Yeah, well, if I were you, I'd wipe that smile off my face and sit down, cos

I've got something to say, and I'm only going to say it once, so listen up.

Look, you can't keep turning up in my room because I've got work to do and

you're disturbing me.

I could just about tolerate it before, but that little stunt shows me where

you're really at and I don't like it.

OK, Sean.

And plus, I don't appreciate your dad's little scheme to help our loved ones

back home. I mean, he's got Dad and the whole shop and all kinds of stupid

things. Just so you can have a silly little community hall named after him.

Yes, Sean.

And to be quite honest, you're just like him. So take my advice, do yourself a

favour and stop acting like a sport brat. Do you understand?

Yes, Sean.

final thing?

Yes, Sean.

Give my mum a wise bet.

Yes, Sean, okay.

Sean?

What?

I've got a little admission to make.

How little?

Well, actually, it's a very big little admission.

Okay, let's hear it.

There isn't going to be an Ambrose Community Hall.

What? What do you mean?

It's my mum's idea.

We need a swimming pool for our house.

Mum thought this would be a good way to raise the finance.

Swimming pool?

So what, you mean your dad's a fraud?

Yes, I suppose he is.

Well, haven't you got any public pools in your area?

Yes. So, what's wrong with them?

They're public.

Everybody else has got their own.

So, what are you going to do about this?

Yes, you.

Well, £100.

Thank you, Desmond.

Well, no rest for the wicked, eh, my dear?

Why, you must be tired, then.

We have so many people to see.

Come on, dear. Baldwin. Yes?

I bumped into an old school friend of mine yesterday.

Just came back from Guyana.

Really? Yes.

He's taught a community hall.

Said they rebuilt it last year.

Oh, well, um... So he could hardly need refurbishing again, could he? Oh, nice,

sir. I can't stop now, Mum. We're going swimming. Swimming? Where?

Our local pool.

A public pool?

That's right, Mum.

Laters. Public...

There's a very good pool up the road. I swim there, actually.

And me.

And me.

I expect there are quite a few pools in your air, Baldwin.

Yes. Right at once, probably.

Have you got one?

We're saving up. Oh, still saving.

Michael, how much do you think it'll cost to build a pool?

Difficult to say, Father. But I suppose you could make a start with 1 ,200

pounds. Well, that would be dipping a toe in the water, so to speak.

All right, all right. This has gone far enough.

Sorry you're adopting this attitude, Desmond.

But you must appreciate that when you reach my position in life, one has

standards to keep up. If you had achieved anything in life, you would be

the same.

But what a woman rank.

See you all.

Keep smiling. Don't get in the car.

To be quick.

Baldwin. Yes?

The check?

Pardon? The check.

Yours, Father.

Well, you can't take a joke.