All language subtitles for Desmonds s03e11 The Prodigal

From the long hot night with an ocean
breeze to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the
cold. I miss Nirav, I watch my coconut

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your
ways and feel the English

muscle car.

Sean!

Sean, I know you're in there.

You're the only person that brushes his
teeth to a rap rhythm.

Boy, this is your last chance or I won't
be responsible for the consequences.

Just one damn blow, you're making enough
noise to wake the dead.

And if I did, they'd probably get in the
bathroom before me.

Don't put your toes under the grill,
huh?

You can have your breakfast on the
landing.

I don't want my toast under the grill. I
want my head under the shower. Every

morning is the same.

Pops over there did the toilet training
when they was young.

Shirley was right. I have woken the
dead.

The dead's growing his cool because I'm
taking a shower. You should take five

minutes, not half an hour.

It's pretty good for eight in the
morning, Pops.

I can't be dead. What's the time?

I don't know. I've been standing here so
long I've lost track.

Shirley, what is the time?

This is your father speaking.

Turn off the taps.

Stop using my hot water.

Girl, open this door.

Surely your daughter's stolen my towel.

If I'm not brushing my teeth in 30...

Of course I understand, Stacey. No
problem. So, what have you done with

spare room? Oh, excuse me.

A nursery.

Congratulations, I didn't know.

Nice one.

OK, yeah.

See you down at the squash club in a few
months, then.

Ciao.

Damn. I don't believe it. The decorators
are arriving in three hours' time.

They're going to turn my flat into a
building site and I've got nowhere to

for the next four days.

Well, there's always a spare bed at my
flat, isn't there? Ah, I think it's

important that we keep our relationship
strictly professional, don't you, Mandy?

After all, we wouldn't want tongues
wagging. Suit yourself.

Mr. Parker's a lot closer to understand
straight away.

Look, here, try that top number, would
you?

You seem to know a lot from women, sir.

That's the thing about my private life,
Mandy. Oh, what's that?

It's private.

No reply.

Well, don't just give up. Try that one.

I think I had nothing better to do. My
filing tray is positively groaning.

It's an answering machine.

Evangeline's not at home right now.

All right, all right. What does someone
called Evangeline look like? Mind your

own business, Mandy. Just dial the next
number, please.

What, this one, sir? Yes, yes, yes.

Do you think so, sir?

Hello, I have a call for you from Mr
Michael Ambrose.

Hi, it's Michael. Listen, I'm having my
flat redecorated and I wondered if you

wouldn't mind putting me up for a few
days.

Mum?

Yes, Mum, the decorator's arriving this
evening and you'd love to have me.

But thinking about it realistically, I
wouldn't want to put you to... It's no

trouble.

Yes, you're the first person I call.

Yes, I know we don't see enough of each
other.

OK, see you around eight. Can't wait.
Bye, Mum.

Mandy!

Keep your head still, Naman.

Kids today have no respect for their
elders.

Things were different when I was a
child.

Yes, but children knew their place in
Victorian times, Popeye.

It is more than you do. Why don't you
keep still? What's wrong with you?

There's a lamp on the bench where I'm
sitting.

It's very uncomfortable.

I think it needs stuffing.

That's not the only thing.

is that a man needs his face to breathe.

To strut his stuff and leave it out. I

totally concur.

Human beings need clearly defined areas
of territory.

These are necessary to create self
-awareness and essential for the

self -esteem, psychological balance, and
well -being.

That's African for strutting your stuff.

Personally, I settle to be able to brush
my teeth.

And I settle for him speaking plain
English.

And getting out of my seat.

Ouch! I want you 100 % on that one,
Dave. You know, a cramped style is no

at all.

Like the truest word you ever spoke,
Tony. My style is so cramped I have

to move my stuff, much less strut it.
But where can you build your house back

home? You can have a whole room to
yourself. Just think of it.

Privacy. I can see it now.

Sign above the door, big letters,
Desmond's Den. Come out.

No entrance without the permission of
Desmond Ambrose Esquire. Except for your

best friend, Augustus Neapolitan
Cleveland Grant.

Or Popeye, for short.

Who is always welcome.

This will have to be a very big sign.

Why don't you just try no scroungers?

Or no students?

Passwords only a best mate can get in.
Like open sesame.

Open says Desmo, like. No, not three
times and ask for Jazzy D.

I like it, I like it. Right, that's
security, sir.

Now, what are you going to have in
there, Ted?

A well -stocked bar.

The best drums that money can buy.

A fine library of books. Ah, another
bar, just in case the first one run out.

A bench with no lamp in it. And a really
neat sound system, Dave. A 36 -inch

colour TV with a satellite dish so we
can watch the races.

All of you gentlemen through the French
windows onto my private veranda

overlooking the sea.

My custom -made domino table lies in the
shade.

Palm trees sway.

Beside the biggest bucket of rum punch
you've ever seen.

This is racy stuff, mate.

And in the evening I lie in my hammock.

watching the sun go down, blowing my
trumpet as long and as loud as I like.

I've never known you have trouble
blowing your own trumpet, Desmond

And after a few rums, I'd like to see
you trying to get into a hammock.

Remember that time at Auntie Nora's,
when you tried getting into one after a

nightcaps too many? All right, all
right. What a mess.

You look like a big fish caught in a
net.

to cut him off?

You see, there isn't even room around
here for a man to dream.

Well, a little dream of mine just came
true.

What, we went to the pool?

Better than that.

Michael's coming home to stay for a few
days. Who? What? Well, you said a dream,

surely not a nightmare.

We're going to put him on a hook behind
the door.

That's the only place you have room to
fit.

We'll discuss that this evening when
everybody's here. There is the time

-honored tradition of consulting the
head of the household on these matters.

Oh? Who might that be? Well, obviously
the oldest and wisest in the family.

Me.

Oldest, yes.

I think that's when it's right, Shirley.
The order of this world depends on the

proper establishment of rank. As we say
in Africa, if the tiger is standing, the

mouse can't take a pew.

Move over, mouse.

Ouch. But he's right, Shirley.

I mean, back home in your house, it was
your father that ruled the roost.

My father took his instructions from God
when he was in the pulpit and from my

mother when he was at home.

This is not a matter for your debate in
society.

Sorry, sir.

So, you object to having your son to
stay?

Well, not exactly.

Well, who will be doing the extra
shopping?

I didn't say... Will you be doing the
extra cooking and tidying up? No, but...

Exactly. So shut your mouth and give the
man a shave.

beard is longer now than when he came
in.

Don't you nod your head at me.

I'm armed and dangerous.

He was

not trying to kiss me, if you must know.
He was trying to take something out of

my eye. Sure, sis, with his lips.

She's got a mind like a clue -up. Look
who's talking. That guy Steve's got the

pick of every girl in Peckham. Well,
he's not going to have the pick of my

daughter. Are you kidding me?

Steve happens to be one of the few good
guys around.

That's what I mean. Good at what?

Yes, ma 'am. Aren't you going to say
anything about the kind of people your

daughter's associating with?

I have no say in what goes on in my own
home. Why should I bother what goes on

outside it?

I was still in a bad mood about this
morning. I said I was sorry.

I think I was sleepwalking. What's new
about that?

Your father's in one of his childish
moods because your brother Michael is

coming to stay a few days. What? You're
not serious?

You see what I mean, Shirley? I think we
should put this to the vote.

All those in favour of Michael staying
somewhere else, raise their hands.

When you two start paying rent around
here, then we can start voting.

Don't we have any say?

That's a matter of fact you do.

I should think so too.

You can decide which of you gives up
your room for your big brother. What?

Well, it ain't going to be me.

Well, it's definitely not going to be
me.

Well, then I suppose it's got to be me.

I'm going to stay by proof. I'm just
going back.

Desmond, you don't have a room to give
up.

It's got to be Sean because he's the
youngest. That's not fair. I'm always

youngest. Why can't Gloria be the
youngest for a change?

You can't be stupid.

I'm older than you.

A mere technicality. No, it isn't. Yes,
it is. Shut up!

Sean, you'll sleep on the couch. See?

Oh, Mum.

It wasn't Ray's voice that I heard, was
it?

Oh, Michael.

You're early.

Hello, Mother.

Hello, everybody.

I think I'd better come back when
everybody's in a better mood. Yeah, in

three years.

Make it five.

Yes, Mum.

Gloria.

Maybe this isn't such a good idea after
all, Mother. Nonsense.

Sean has just said how pleased he would
be if you would take his room.

Sean, that's very decent of you. I
wouldn't be putting you out.

Oh, of course not.

Anything getting put out would be my
back sleeping on this couch.

Well, it would be.

Small for me.

Small? He couldn't get his head on it.

Right, everything's settled.

Michael, you can put your things in
Sean's room.

Hang on.

Does that mean that this will be my room
while Michael's staying in mine?

Yes.

Right, then we'd better get the rules
sorted out. Rules?

What rules?

Well, for one thing, I don't walk in and
out of your bedroom all the time, do I?

So, after ten o 'clock, I don't want
anyone in my bedroom without my

Oh, well, that seems fair.

Oh, it is, and the late film starts at
ten, and the cricket's on after that.

Well, it so happens that I've got a test
first thing in the morning, and I fancy

early night after I've done my revision,
in silence, in my room.

Never mind.

You can watch my football.

to look big on this screen, the size of
Michael's TV is in direct proportion to

his brain.

What's that?

It's my watch alarm, Father.

Time for one of these.

Well, on the pill then, Michael.

It happens to be a vitamin pill, Gloria.
Everything I need's in that one small

capsule. Why don't they make hotel rooms
small these days?

Mother, was that coffee decaf?

Oh, no coffee with caffeine. No one ever
gets asleep.

Well, you should try cocoa with
toenails.

I'm sorry we were unable to provide our
usual standard of room service.

Oh, my!

Good Lord, how did I miss that?

Is something the matter, Michael? Yes,
the bottom's about to fall out of guilt.

Hi, Angus.

It's Michael.

Michael Ambrose.

Michael Ambrose from the bank.

Listen, I want to move what I've got in
gilts into consolidated bonds first

thing in the morning.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

Talking about bottoms falling out.

Would you like to move yours off my leg
before I fall out, would you?

Yeah, and instead of moving out of
gilts, yeah.

into consolidated bonds. Why don't you
move out of here into an hotel?

Oh, stop it, you two.

I think it's lovely and cozy having us
all together again like this.

Poor Sean doesn't know what he's
missing.

What do you mean you haven't started
yet?

It's a one -bedroom flat, Mr Murphy, not
Windsor Castle.

Could you at least get started on the
bedroom work?

Tell Charlie Mr Ambrose is very anxious
to return home as soon as possible and

there'll be ample rewards for their
efforts.

Oh, people got eaten here, you know,
Michael.

Thank you, Mr Murphy.

Gloria. Anxious to return home, are we?
You shouldn't be listening to people's

personal phone calls.

What made you come here to stay and stay
with one of your buppy pals?

Naturally, I thought as I don't see
enough of Mother, Father, myself and

None of the others would have you, eh?

I'll have you know, Gloria, I have a
large circle of loyal friends who'd put

up at the drop of a hat.

Stitch you up more like.

What about Patricia? Why don't you stay
with her?

Patricia and I have always had the
understanding we do not live together.

Smart girl.

What about your other lady friends then?
Little black bot getting a bit thin

these days?

I assure you, Gloria, there are no
problems in that department.

What about Big Stephanie?

She looks like she's got plenty of room.

Always, always Evangeline.

Little sister, this was and always will
be my first choice.

And where's the first place he thinks to

stay? To the place with the least space
in Peckham.

I took you up from half past six this
morning to get into my own bathroom.

And when I finally came down to
breakfast, I had to wait till Shirley

finished making Michaels.

Well, it didn't take long to pour out
his muesli. No, it was a Spanish

that took the time and the three rounds
of toast.

Shirley, you must wear yourself out.

Sit down, man.

Put your feet up.

Any chance for another cup of tea?

That would be nice.

Maybe Michael could come and stay by
you, Popeye. That's when I would be only

too happy to relieve you of your burden.

But I've got a drip in my ceiling.

There's a great big bulge in the
plaster.

It's hanging down and the whole thing
can go at any time. Molly, talking of

things that could go at any time.
Michael.

Michael.

You've got all the things I left out for
you. Your sandwiches and your clean

handkerchief.

By the end of the week, she'll be
changing his nappies again.

I'm cooking your favorite for dinner
tonight.

Spicy chicken with dumplings.

Delicious.

I'll be home around about eight. I've
got a squash match.

What is all this about spicy chicken?

Today's Tuesday. We should be having
fish.

Well, you are. Michael's having the
chicken. You know you can't stand fish

bones. Sounds like it's Michael getting
the dark treatment around here, then.

This is only fitting.

In my family back home, when the elder
son returns like the prodigal son, we

celebrate in a big way.

What? Roast a fatty calf or something?

Yes. It's a cause for much rejoicing and
happiness.

Except for the fatty calf.

We'd have a party, and all the
neighbourhood would attend.

Oh, you've got the spicy chicken, Des.
Now all I need is the rest of Peckham to

show up. All I need for you is to shut
up and to cut that man's hair.

Then why don't you put up my cut for a
few days and the two of you can

together?

Well, unfortunately, as you know, I have
only one bathroom and I'm not prepared

to share it. And I'm not prepared to
share my part of the bench.

You Africans, you've got the largest
continent in the world to sit around in

you have to come all the way to Peckham
to steal my seat.

So much for a man having his own space.

Soon I'll be sleeping in the barber's
chair. It's the only place I can find

space around here anymore.

Come on, my man.

Who you coming on, my man?

Cheers. Oh, Gloria.

Michael's forgotten his sandwiches.

Pop them into the bathroom.

Oh, Mum, do I have to?

Do as your mother says, Gloria. You
don't want Michael fading away from lack

food now, do you? What, Michael? The man
manning?

Fat chance.

So,

how are things going at home?

Very well indeed, Mandy.

You wouldn't believe how close our
family is. Oh, I always thought things

bit strained.

Not at all.

Sean, for instance, even offered to give
up his room for me.

And Gloria?

Well, Gloria and I have always been
devoted to each other.

Really? Yes, I have a very special
relationship with my family.

Gets better as the years go by.

Oh, listen, you ungrateful buppy
pillock. If Mama forgets what the crack

to panner to your whims make your
sandwiches, you can at least engage your

in the morning and take them with you.
Here, I'll be a choke.

Michael!

Michael!

Sean's going to Gary for a few days and
I'm going to stay with Louise.

I was late for school this morning.

Yeah, and I just got to my first
tutorial by the skin of me teeth.

Well, we can't have their education
being interrupted.

OK.

Just as long as their parents say it's
OK.

It's no problem.

See you later.

Well, now you've only got Michael to get
in your way.

Michael and I could get in each other's
way on a football pitch.

Well, you needn't worry about that any
longer. I'm moving back to my flat.

Michael? It's not that I haven't enjoyed
staying here, but... These decorators

of mine are only going to finish the job
if I'm there to supervise, but I'd

better get back.

Can I give you a hand with anything?

Bus? Taxis?

If you're sure it's for the best. Yes,
I'm sure it is.

Thanks for everything.

I'll phone you.

And then there were two.

Do you want some more tea, Desmond?

The last cup isn't cold yet.

Maybe I could bake something.

Why? There's no one to eat it.

In a few years' time, you're going to be
like this every night.

They all have to leave home eventually.

You know what they say?

You don't know what you've got until you
haven't got it anymore.

We'll be all right as long as we have
each other and they come to visit.

Except Michael.

Would you like a game of dominoes? No.

Is it because I beat you last time?

I think I'll pop around and see Beverly.

Shirley, why don't you relax and take it
easy?

We haven't had any peace in here for the
last week.

I like it that way. And I like it this
way.

Dambrose residence.

Desmond Dambrose speaking.

A reverse charge call from Peckham. It
could be one of the children. Maybe

something's gone wrong. All right, all
right. I'll take the call.

Hello? Desmond, it's me, Pork Pie.

Pork Pie? What's the matter?

You know that drip?

My ceiling caved in. The whole flat is
flooded.

Hello? Uh -huh. I wonder if I could
sleep in the shop.

Pork Pie, I wouldn't hear of it.

I won't make any noise. I'll even sleep
on the bench with the lumpy stuffing.

We can have Sean's room or Gloria's
room, or we have a very comfortable

Oh, Desmond, you and Shirley are true
friends.

I think nothing of it. We'd love to have
you.

Tell him I hope he's hungry.

There's only one thing, Popeye. What's
that?

If you go in the bathroom before me in
the morning, I'll never speak to you

again.