Original subtitles

From the long, warm night with an ocean breeze to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the cold. I miss Nirvana, what my coconut

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your ways and feelings.

Au revoir, my little cherub.

My, you look most kissable today.

Do you think we have time for a... Jasmine, get away with it. Another cup

coffee? It's time you were done, Phil.

You and me, we sweat and strain.

Bodies all aching and wracked with pain.

I

forgot

my glasses.

What's that you had?

Nothing. Nothing at all. So was this nothing at all regarding with your life?

Well, if you must know, Desmond, I've just been doing a little daydreaming.

Daydreaming? Yes, about a nice little detached house with a garden.

A detached house with a garden? Yes, and flowers.

Lots of flowers.

Sweet -smelling Jasmine.

Sweet -smelling Jasmine?

What are you, Desmond? A parrot or a mockingbird? I'm a man. And this man is

telling you for the umpteenth time that this is where we live. Above the shop.

And this is where we're going to live for the rest of our days until we go

to Guyana.

So, it's tell you're telling me?

Well, not exactly, but yes.

So it's all right for Desmond to dream about Guyana. But as for Shirley's

dreams...

It's a different dream.

It's a special dream, and you're part of that dream.

And we can dream that dream together.

Now you're coming on with a totally different dream, and I don't like it. I

no idea what is the matter with you, Shirley Ambrose. That's right.

You have no idea.

I've got to wash your glasses.

Sir, I've shut the car through this little garage.

Are you all right there?

Oh, yes.

I'm fine.

I'm sorry, Walter. I hope I haven't kept you waiting long.

So what's this about a car, Tony? I didn't know you had a car. Ah, I bought

at the weekend.

Maybe I'm paying you too much.

Who cut this hair last?

Ah, yes.

Sheer perfection.

Tony, if you just buy this car, what do you take it to the garage for?

Oh, well, you have just taken the worst rat out of my mouth.

Well, I'll teach you to keep it shut, then.

I have to get an M .O .T. test.

You buy a car with no MOT?

For a 70 -year -old mini, it seemed like it was in good nick and it was a

bargain. Ah, but when is a bargain not a bargain?

As an Ugandan friend of mine used to say, you can examine the hindquarters of

rhinoceros, but that won't tell you how many teeth it's got.

Well, yeah.

I started out my doubts when the bloke at the garage didn't ask me if I was the

owner. He asked me if I was an extra king.

I don't understand you, Tony. What do you want a car for?

It's just another expense to worry about. Sure, ain't an expense, man. I've

to get about, move around, get noticed.

Everybody got ants in their pants about moving, growing up in the world. I can't

understand why people can't be happy with what they got, who they are.

Bigger house, bigger car.

I never had a car before.

Next week you'll be coming to work in a Jaguar, and then you won't be happy

until you've got a Rolls Royce. Hold on a minute.

I only bought my first ever car a little long minute to get about in.

Oh, so you haven't mentioned it.

Desmond, who got ants in their pants?

Shirley.

If something is troubling you, why not tell your friends?

This friend is all ears.

Which is West Indian for being nosy.

Shirley got all these leaflets upstairs.

What leaflets?

Leaflets from estate agents.

She's daydreaming about moving house again.

No harm in daydreaming, Juan. I daydream all day. and most nights as well.

That's good, Popeye. Every adult should have a hobby. Every adult should have a

job.

Studying? It's not surely studying that's bothering me.

I mean, I know my wife. Once she gets an idea into her head, it takes some

shifting. And once she thinks about it, it's harder to shift.

Talking about things that are hard to shift.

What are you doing here this morning, Beverly?

That's a fine way. to greet a body.

When you first opened this shop, you used to invite all your friends to drop

Okay, you've dropped in. Now drop out.

I'm not a drop out.

Anyway, I didn't come to see you, Desmond.

I come to have a chat with Shirley about the move.

What are you talking about?

Do you know something I don't know, Beverly?

So things are further forward than we knew.

Tell us more.

Don't... listen to her. She can't tell you anything.

Well, I'm not so sure about that.

Cause Bert and I were talking this morning.

He's quite lively in the morning, you know.

And he was saying, there's no smoke without fire.

I saw Shirley going into the estate agent yesterday, and I saw her coming

again with a whole load of leaflets. I know straight away she holds something

again. That don't mean anything, you stupid woman.

That was love. I'm sure he gets this bean or butted about moving house by the

toilet. Nothing to him. If I was your wife, I wouldn't want to live upstairs

here. If you were my wife, I wouldn't want to either.

There's a lot to be said for being able to lock up the shop and go home in the

evening. My home is up there and I go home to it every night.

I wouldn't like to live on the job.

I don't know. There are pros and there are cons.

Me know.

I'm pro living on the job, but I'm not going to let my wife con me into

my mind.

So, what are you going to say to her? I'm going to tell her once and for all

that I wear the trousers in the Ambrose Hotel.

Of course you do, Desmond.

You look so silly in a skirt.

Shut up!

Hello, Beverly.

What brings you here? I was on my way to the market to pick up Codbus Red Mullet

for his tea, and I'm just making a little detour to bring you these.

You're reading me mind again?

The power, the strength of your desire come through to me as clear as day.

I saw you... She saw you going into the SPSS.

Thank you, Beverly.

I'll browse through these later.

Browse through them? What for?

Look, Mark, keep your head still before I cut off your ears.

Don't speak to Walter like that. If you am speaking to, don't change the

subject. Lord, sometimes Peyton can lead men... to talk in nonsense.

I'm going.

I can't take the atmosphere in here.

I don't know. She and Charlie used to work together at the, what do you call

Harley Quinn Coffee Bar.

It's still there?

No. After 25 years?

Yeah, but it's changed.

Yeah, but you haven't did, huh? You don't look a day older.

Desmond, still got your smooth tongue, huh? Still got me good looks.

Still got his big head.

So where you been?

I've been busy.

Oh, busy can busy be.

Well, you know me.

I like to travel around and strut my stuff.

Let me see.

I've been to see the kids.

Beth is nursing now in Miami, and Sonny is prospecting for gold in Australia.

Looks like he hit it, too.

I am going to be a grandmother soon. I don't believe it.

And I met me some nice guys.

Fooled around a little.

Married a couple.

Divorced them.

That's busy.

You free now?

I like change.

I like to move around.

But you, dearly here.

Yes, we still here.

Yes, we still here.

What you think in the movie?

Well... Ada, read my lips.

No... Body is moving.

Did I say something?

You sure did. Shut up.

You're going to have to do something about this sooner or later.

Examine the problem.

And you shut up too before I examine you out the door.

Desmond, I don't think I like your attitude.

And I don't like you surely telling anybody and everybody that we're moving.

haven't told anybody that we're moving.

It's not my responsibility how they interpret things.

Anyway, I can't see any harm in just looking.

Most things in life start with just looking.

Well, just looking at that coin, you're not buying it.

Precisely what I mean.

Oh, dear, I seem to have started something.

Now, who's going to do my hair?

Oh, what?

Oh, fun.

That's what you're looking at.

Just move the bag, Sean. I'm trying to set the table.

Oh, Mum's not on about moving again, is she?

I don't know, but those were just lying there.

She had a right of going on downstairs.

Dad doesn't like change, especially a change he didn't think up himself.

Yeah, well, he won't get anywhere by trying to bully Mum. You know how

she gets when she feels she isn't getting a fair crack at a whip.

Oh, she's serious this time.

Well, how do you feel about moving?

Haven't you set the table yet?

Look, Sean, move this bag.

What's that you're hiding behind your back?

Everybody seems to have something to hide today.

Right here, we're going to tackle this thing together.

Mum, Dad, sit down.

Give me those.

Yes, give them to him so he can tear them up. There's plenty more where they

came from.

Look, Dad, you know Mum wouldn't make any decisions without family discussion.

I thought I was the only mistake you two ever made. Sure.

Looks as if you're going to make another one soon.

Mum, you know... Don't be silly.

Listen, Daddy, we're going to talk about it sensibly.

She's going home hunting that Ramsey woman again.

Who's she?

Mom, are you really serious about it?

I wasn't this morning, but right now I might well be.

But what about Diana?

Ever since I can remember, you've been talking about when I retire and go back

home. You've got a better memory than your mother, that's for sure. We are a

long way off retirement.

Well, I'm certainly not ready to turn my toes up just yet.

Not that I want to stay at home with my parents till I get married, but I think

it'd be a great idea to move somewhere bigger. I mean, what do you think, Sean?

Well, it depends how far I've got to travel to school, innit?

That was a totally selfish observation, and in no way makes a useful

contribution to the discussion.

And what, I suppose that mouthful you just came out with wasn't at all

Well, it weren't meant to be.

I just want to reassure Mum I'm happy we are at home. I mean, most kids aren't,

you know, they can't wait to move out. When we first came here, you thought

place was paradise.

Now it's not good enough for you. The only thing I want to hear about moving

concerns moving the supper from half of the coconut into my mouth.

I hear you moving.

Look at that big old mango tree.

I plan to hang my hammock in that tree.

I can just close my eyes and see me swinging to and fro

to and fro.

Rum punch by my side, mangoes above my head.

What more could a man ask for?

There's my little grandson come to visit me.

Running across the yard.

Dear little chap.

Baby Desmond.

He's spitting image of me.

Oh, he's dark.

Turn on the light, Matthew.

We arranged to have a drink at the Nags Head.

I know. My grandson's come to visit.

Have a rum punch.

Have a mango.

Are you feeling all right?

Yes, I just don't feel like going out.

Help yourself to a hammock.

Where's Shirley?

Out house hunting with that Ramsey woman again.

And the children?

What children? I don't have no children. They're all adults now. They want

family discussions.

When my father tell me do this, I do it. No backtrack.

Ah, but these days things are different.

In this enlightened age, children have meaningful dialogue with their parents.

If you want their cooperation, you have to try being subtle.

How can you say no in a subtle way?

First you say maybe, then you say maybe, not then you say no.

Who's talking?

The artful dodger himself.

You're nothing but a part -time father and husband, so it's easy for you.

My wife is out there plotting and conniving, aided and abutted by that

woman.

And she's booked for lunch tomorrow. That coffee bar where they used to work

together. I mean, what are they up to?

Well, they're probably talking about old times.

Yeah, man.

The good old days, you know.

Boyfriends and things.

Well, I can't believe that. Surely never had any boyfriends.

Or things.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall of that coffee bar tomorrow.

You mean you would spy on your wife?

Yes.

Probably she'd recognize me.

I always fancied myself as a spy.

You? A spy?

Yes, when I was too young when the wall broke out.

But I can still do it, you know.

The right disguise.

I'd make the perfect sloot.

I don't believe I'm hearing this.

I do.

Two coffees, please.

Thanks.

Falling in love is the easy part.

Staying in love, now that is something else. You've managed to do that.

Well, how you figure that out when all you've seen is us arguing?

Body language.

Only your two mouths moving in discord.

The rest of your body's in total harmony.

Somebody once said that people who love only once in their lives are shallow and

mediocre. Then I wish I was shallow and mediocre. I wouldn't be so lonesome.

So what happened?

All my life, I have spent my Sundays in church praying, Lord, lead me not into

temptation.

Then I spend the whole rest of the week yielding to every temptation that comes

my way.

I wish I could yield to temptation and just bop Desmond's ears.

Is moving house a real passion with you?

Not at all.

I was just giving the idea some fresh air.

It's a form of freedom to unlock your thoughts and trot them out from time to

time. Well, it might all be a load of rubbish, but when you put it back in

you feel a damn sight better.

You... came straight from the bosom of your family into Desmond's arms. You

forgot that he is only a man.

Selfish and thoughtless.

Yes,

but what are you being?

What do you mean?

You know full well what I mean.

Desmond's dream of retiring to Guyana is like a piece of fragile crystal,

cherished all his life.

Sir, my little dream is nothing.

Well, that's just it.

You know... that it's just a little dream.

But Desmond sees it as a threat.

He's frightened that his dream will get pushed aside.

Well, I respect his dream.

I just want him to discuss it.

Men don't discuss.

Thank you.

Don't look now.

That's pork pie at the next table.

I better Desmond put him up to this.

Let's give him something to report on.

Well, Ada, the house in Weybridge is just perfect.

I can't thank you enough for your help.

I just have to see about... putting down the deposit and arranging the mortgage.

£225 ,000.

It's a lot of money, Shirley.

Are you sure you can afford it?

Of course we can.

When will you tell Delman?

I'll surprise him.

Delman and I have a joint account and either of us can sign checks.

Perhaps there's time to get things moving today.

Waitress! Waitress!

I've left the money on the table!

You mean to say... summoned me over here to take action against my mother on the

word of a spy?

Look, pork fry, are you sure she said all those things or are you making them

up? Would I do a thing like that?

Sadly, yes.

Well, she's not back yet.

By now, she's probably down at the bank drawing out all her money, make her ring

the bank and check. Look, don't be ridiculous, Father. Mother's never drawn

penny from the joint account. But it's always the first time. That's true.

By now, you could be the proud owner of a country mansion.

Will staff be invited to the housewarming?

Ain't my new car coming in for weekend trips.

I've got to get out of that garage. Oh, shut up. Michael, phone the bank and see

if she's there.

Stop the check. Do something.

You're talking about what?

Oh, thank heavens you're here.

I need you.

What for?

There's a serious family crisis.

Where's Mum?

She's the one who's caused the crisis. Don't exaggerate, Father.

Well, I'm not entering into any discussion about Mum unless she's here.

you, Sean.

If am I. I've never known my mother to cause any crisis in this family.

You see that?

Son, Shirley, I know you're going to be busy, but we must do it again soon.

Busy moving to Weybridge, I suppose.

Weybridge?

Have you been to the bank? I'll not sign the check. You wouldn't get the

mortgage without my signature. Hold on, hold on. What's going on here? What are

you all talking about?

What about the bank, and what is this about Weybridge?

Oh, your father warned me about that innocent look of yours.

I know everything.

Everything?

I was informed by an interested party.

Never mind how I know. I just know.

So what we move is a white bridge.

Not that I know of.

I mean, I can hardly believe that all of my family and my friends could think

that I would make such a major decision like moving house without discussing it

with them.

Well, Popeye, nothing to do with me.

You don't think I would do that, Desmond?

Oh, well, I suppose not.

But, I mean, would you drag me back to Guyana without us having a serious

discussion? Well, of course not, Shirley.

You're sure?

I'm sure.

Thank you, Desmond.

Oh, well, I'm glad that's settled. Oh, you've finished my wig.

It does look nice.

Yes,

please. Oh, no.

Not for Ada and me.

We had a lovely lunch.

And to top it all, a woman at the next table left her cheesecake untouched.

Oh, we couldn't resist sharing it.

Funny woman.

Wasn't she, Shirley?

Oh, I don't think so.

Apart from the beard.