Original subtitles

From the long old night with an ocean breeze to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the coal, I'm in the rum, I want my coconut

tree.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your waist and feel the heat.

All right, we're gone.

And what are you doing today?

What does it look like? I didn't ask you what does it look like. I asked you

what you were doing. So what kind of a question is that?

Boy, answer the question and don't be rude.

You had a good look at yourself in the mirror this morning.

I have a view.

I'm not your enemy. I'm your mother.

Yeah, well, I think it's particularly juvenile the way parents constantly ask

you what you're doing.

Boy, don't be feisty.

Parents have a right to know what their children are getting up to.

I'm not a child. How many more times do I have to tell you?

Sean, don't shout.

Now, if you want to be respected as an adult, I suggest you speak in a

reasonable and level tone, like most adults do.

Except barbers.

Listen, I can't hang around or I'll be late. For school.

All right, then.

Button up your shirt. I'll fix your tie.

Mum, I like it like this. Do as your mother tells you.

Sean, do you hear me?

Sean, come back. Stay on it, Dad.

That's where you're going, Sean.

Eat it, pork pie.

Eat it?

You eat one.

I don't think he means a poop pie, pork pie.

Hey, you've dropped a book, Sean.

Stop it.

I'm going to have a serious job with that boy when he gets home from school.

I'll print a dictionary and help you choose one.

What's wrong with him anyway?

He must be under some kind of pressure at school.

Don't you make excuses for Sean's behaviour. It's all your fault.

My fault? He's only been ruined since you stopped me from beating him.

Desmond, that was 12 years ago.

You can't beat beating for instilling discipline.

When I was rude to my father, he'd beat me till I'd cry, and then he'd beat me

until I'd stop.

The trouble in this country is that if you beat a child, they can press charges

against you. I mean, what is this world coming to when you can get penalized for

penalizing somebody who's doing something wrong?

Hey, think about it.

See where you're putting that salt, right?

Pussy. Keep your ears in one place.

Well, I don't think punishing children is the right way to teach them respect.

As an Ashanti friend of mine often says, a baby who flies around on his bottom

for years thinks he's giving his parents a bad time.

In fact, he's giving a bad time to his bottom.

Now, do we still need this book today, or what?

No, it's only his diary. His diary?

Ah! No, it's... be able to know what's going on in that tiny mind of his.

Judging from the weight of this diary, maybe not so tiny after all. Desmond, I

forbid you to read this diary.

Forbid? What kind of nonsense is that?

It's not nonsense.

There might be things in here he don't want you to find out.

Well, all the more reason for finding out. I want to know it is up to no good.

Sean has rights, Desmond.

And so do I.

I have a right to know what is in that diary. Give it to me. No.

It's against me principles.

All right, all right.

You put the diary where Matthew found it, and I'll pick it up.

That way, you wouldn't be giving it to me, and you can keep your principles

pure.

Good. All right, Popeye, pass me the diary. Don't get me in trouble.

But, President, reading someone's diary is a violation of basic human... And

what is this world coming to where a man can't read his own son's diary?

Sean is only 16.

Yes.

What kind of things you were getting up to when you were 16?

You don't want to know.

Precisely. Tony, you narrowed to 16 than any of us here. What kind of things you

were getting up to when you were 16?

No, you don't want to know.

Well, I do want to know.

Desmond, if you do that, I'll never speak to you again.

Never? Never. Good.

Where shall I start?

April the 15th. Uh -uh. It only started three weeks ago.

April the 15th.

It began as an ordinary day.

Gloria and I set out for school.

The sun was shining, and in the bright light, Gloria's teeth looked like Kong

Dracula's.

Now I know what she inherited from Dad.

His big mouth.

I got to school and it all happened so suddenly.

I sat at my desk, looked up, and there she was.

Carol Braithwaite walked into my life.

She didn't just walk in.

She blew into my life with more devastation than Hurricane Gilbert.

Good morning, Clark.

My name is Liz Braithwaite, but you can call me Carol, because I dislike

formality. Don't you?

I'm your supply teacher.

As you know, Mrs. Thompson is having a baby.

This is my first class, so I need all the help I can get.

She is beautiful, ma 'am. I started to feel things I'd never felt before.

like to hand out these books?

She looked straight at me. She started walking towards me. I want you to crawl

into a corner and die.

And your name is?

My name?

Uh, uh, Sean. I mean, Carol.

Right,

Sean. Would you like to hand these out?

Uh, why don't you ask Spider? I mean, Web.

I hope it isn't too bad.

Oh, no, it'll mend.

Web?

No. I didn't come to school to give out books.

You're the teacher.

You give them out.

From then on, Web began to make her life a misery.

Oh, thank you very much.

Carol kept having to keep him in after school.

It was really unfair on her.

on detention tonight.

My name is Andrew, Carol.

Okay, Andrew. I want you in this classroom at 3 .30 for an hour's

But Carol, I have to look after my mum.

She's incontinent.

I have to do everything for her. I'm sure she'd understand.

I mean, if it's a question of just phoning her.

Two hours detention, Andrew Webb.

Easy now, Carol.

Yes, sir.

I'm thinking there's some homework I'd like to have a look at.

Okay, Sean. Why don't you bring us along at the end of school?

Great.

I'll see you at 3 .30 then, Carol.

3 .30, Sean.

She wanted to see me after school.

Great, Elliot. Your heart's out.

Well, I'm sure.

Well, if luck I should be asking you that.

What are you chatting about?

I saw you, Spider -Man, with Miss Braithwaite. If that's what you call

detention, then I'd better check for some of that.

Spider -Man do it. You know, see it?

In this world, there's only two types of man -men. The movers and the groovers.

No thanks.

Uh, no thanks.

See what I mean?

It's just a little groover, Sean.

Whilst Iron Man is a mover.

So, see you later.

Hang on.

I'll have a fag.

So you turn men now?

These teachers like a bit of rough, you know.

These teachers like a bit of rough, you know. They don't like these nice boys

that suck up to them.

Give them a hard time, they'll soon come around.

Give them a hard time, you'll soon get detention.

You're learning, Sean.

You get them in detention, you get on your own.

And not with 40 others.

One to one.

You know what I'm saying?

I've got a chip.

Spider -Man's just snared his next catch.

Well, that's it. There's no more.

Yeah,

I wonder what this carol bird looks like.

Well, if he's an Ambrose, I bet she's good -looking, huh, Popeye? Yeah, man.

Brings it all back, huh, Desmond? You're the little weedy one and me the

spiderweb of my day.

Poor Sean. He's having a miserable time. And all you can think about is if the

teacher is good -looking.

At least we know why his behavior is out of character.

The thing is, what can we do about it?

Well, we can be a bit more sympathetic when he comes home from school. That's

what we could do.

Yeah, yeah, but here, he mustn't find out we've read his diary, now must he?

What diary?

What are you doing, lad?

Oh, Sean, how nice to see you.

I wish I could say the same to you.

Oh, now, listen, son, your father's only being friendly.

So, did you have a nice day?

No. I had a miserable day.

You mean she broke your heart?

Just guessing, you know. I mean, you're a young man and a young man of your age

has loads of girlfriends and... Shut up, Popeye. You don't speak to me. Oh, shut

up, Popeye.

All right.

So, what would you like for tea?

You want me to make you your favorite?

I don't want any tea, man.

knowing it was only you. What do you mean it's only me?

Look, just say what you've got to say and if it's not important, get your

butt out of my room. Why, listen, Sean, you little runt. Little? As if you're

anything big. What's the problem with you men, eh? You put a medallion on and

you behave like Pratt.

Yeah?

Well, I can only see one Pratt in this room.

Just because you've grown a few inches in a few places is a pity your brain

ain't one of them.

If your brain was half as big as your mouth, you'd be twice as intelligent.

And you can think as well. Now, there's a novelty.

What do I bother?

Nobody asked you to. Just get out of my face.

OK, sure. No, it's not OK, Gloria.

Look, I came in here to do you a favour.

Instead, all I get is grief.

So the next time you leave your cigarettes lying about, I won't bother

them for you.

Before I'd come in here to persuade you against smoking, there's nothing worse

than seeing a jumped -up boy with a cigarette in his mouth thinking he's a

And it's even worse when it's your brother. There you are.

Smoke yourself to death, because you deserve each other. Gloria.

Gloria.

Hey.

Very nice of you to see me.

It's about Sean.

Well, you didn't come here to talk about haircuts, did you?

When I first taught Sean, he was bright, considerate and well -behaved.

In fact, he was a model pupil.

However, recently he's become rude and abusive.

And he's now been on detention four days in a row.

Now, normally one should go through the proper channels if one has a complaint

about a pupil.

But I'm very fond of Sean. Oh, you are, are you?

Yes.

Well, I'm sure he'll be pleased to know that.

And I just want to know what could have brought about this dramatic change.

Well, Carol, do you mind if I call you Carol, dear? Not at all.

Well, Carol, Sean's mind seems to be temporarily taken over. Well, not taken

over exactly, but sidetracked. It happens to both sexes at a certain age.

What he's trying to say is Sean is at that age where he's discovered women.

Especially older ones.

Sean's having an affair with an older woman?

No, but he'd like to.

fantasy of most men. Yes, until you get to my age and then you start fantasizing

about her.

Desmond. Sorry, Shirley.

I begin to understand.

Well, I think it's just a passing phase, but it's how to deal with the rudeness.

I'll take care of that.

No, Desmond.

I still think it's best if I talk to him.

Shirley, I am sick to get with this softly, softly approach.

Sean is becoming a man, and he wants to be treated like a man, and he's got to

take lips like a man.

I'm not sure if confrontation is the right approach.

Do I tell you how to run your class?

No. Well, don't tell me how to run my family.

Desmond, apologize to Carol, please.

Oh, I am sorry, Carol.

Don't worry, Carol.

I'll talk to him.

Thanks.

It was nice meeting you. And you.

Bye. Bye -bye.

Maybe it's not just from Spider -Web that Sean gets his bad behaviour.

So what happened, Spider?

I'd like something cold and wet.

Sure, man. We've got mango juice, Nutraman, orange juice. No, man. I said

and wet. Like Red Stripe or beer or something.

No, we ain't got any of that.

No beverages?

Yeah, but we have. I can't give you any. Why not? Let me get, don't I?

Hey, my old man have gone mad.

What are you, a mouse or a man?

Listen, man, I could be the Incredible Hulk and I still don't want to tangle

with Dad.

What have we got here?

Something you'll never have.

She's fresh, Sean. Yeah, she's also my sister, Spider.

Sister, eh?

It's what happened.

Cool.

Sorry, can you repeat that?

I said, are you seeing anyone at the moment? If you are, you should

You're so full of bull, I can smell you from here.

That's not the only way I'm like a bull, Gloria.

You're so cool, Spider.

With someone with a name as stupid as Spidey, you're just my sort of man.

I like her.

Uh, no, Frank. Look, you better put that out, man. You know my dad.

He'll go crazy.

Dad.

Uh, this is my, um... Spider -Man.

So you're Sean's old man?

I don't think I'd be frightened of him. What?

Nothing, Dad. Just my little joke, you know what I mean?

How old are you, boy?

16, men.

And that's what you're trying to be, a man.

You're just a youth, like.

And you stand up in my house smoking a cigarette in front of me?

Do your parents know you smoke?

Of course they do.

Well, this is one parent who don't want you to.

So get your backside out of here and don't set foot in this place again, you

hear? Out.

I see what you mean.

He is crazy.

wouldn't put up with it. In my culture, we don't let children express an opinion

in the presence of adults until they reach a decent age.

Oh, yeah?

And how old's that then, Matt?

35.

It's true.

Look, even at my age, if my father were here, I'd keep my ideas to myself.

Well, let's bring him over.

All right, all right.

Does anyone else have any ideas how I should bring up my children?

Our children.

Our children.

Sean, what are you doing home so early?

Why aren't you at school?

I just couldn't handle it, Mum.

But, Sean, you know, there are times when you have to do things you don't

to. All right, all right. Pay me the lecture.

It's just that it's threw my brain in. Schools are there to give you a brain.

And if you choose not to attend, you wouldn't get any.

It's not the work I can handle that.

So what is it, then?

Oh, I see.

It's Mrs.

Braithwaite. What?

Yes, Mum.

Son.

in love with teachers when we've been at school.

But the dad... Have you been reading my diary?

Well, I... Well, you see... Yes.

But the point is... Sean, we didn't mean to. Mum, you as well.

I thought you had more integrity.

Don't you speak to your mother like that. If you leave your diary lying

I'm bound to. I mean, I'm your father.

That doesn't mean you can violate my thoughts.

Is that the kind of fancy language they teach you at school these days?

Whatever happened to manners?

Well, I suggest you go straight back to school and... I'll sort this out.

But surely I didn't think... Desmond, just leave it to me.

Oh,

Mrs.

Ambrose. A pleasant surprise.

Please, call me Carol.

No.

I'd rather call you Ms. Braithwaite because I believe teachers should be

by their surname.

As a mark of respect.

It's so old -fashioned.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to patronize you.

Do you always try to please, Carol?

I'm sorry?

Well, you know, just call me Carol.

I don't want to sound patronizing. I just want to be liked.

Perhaps there's more truth in that than you realise.

I don't know what you mean.

Who is it supposed to put at ease?

The pupils or you?

Well, it is... Can you imagine what it must be like for a 16 -year -old boy to

have a beautiful young woman wander into his classroom?

He sees her as his teacher, but she tells him, I'm your chum, your friend,

me Carol.

Are you criticising my teaching?

No.

I'm saying my son got a hut for you, and the way you're treating him is just

stoking the fire.

No.

Has he really?

I mean, how hot is he?

He got steam coming out of every possible place.

No.

Let me just give you a little piece of advice.

I think it will pay you to behave like an old -fashioned teacher in this

classroom.

I mean more formal than informal.

Because Charlotte is not the only one, you know.

Let them all call you Ms.

Braithwaite for a start.

I know it must be hard to be a teacher when you can't be much older than the

pupils you're teaching.

But I'm sure one day you'll turn into a very good one.

Thanks, Mrs. Ambrose.

I'm sorry if I was a no.

Don't be sorry.

Just be tough.

Is that you, mate?

This is what's happening, Webb. The homework you left behind.

And I want it first thing in the morning.

But, miss, I thought you said it was cool. I said nothing of the sort.

As usual, Webb, you talk too incessantly for me to even venture an opinion.

But I'm going out tonight.

then I suggest you go home now and make an early start.

Carol, hang on a minute. My name is Miss Braithwaite, and I think you better

call me that in future, Ambrose.

Yo, miss.

Do your parents know you smoke, Sean?

Uh, well, they, uh... Listen, Sean, do yourself a favor.

Stop smoking, because A, it doesn't suit you, and B, you look like a jerk.

And one in the classroom is bad enough.