Original subtitles

From the long walk next to the ocean breeze, to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the cold, I'm in the realm, I want my

tree.

Let's keep the music sweet, wind up your waist and feel the heat.

Popeye, it's about time you did some cleaning up around here. But, Shirley, I

have retired.

Uh -uh. Your stomach ain't retire.

Your ability to make a mess around here ain't retire.

So from now on, I retire.

Don't drag me into it. Why not? She's your wife because she's right.

All right, I'll do it properly.

Step back in amazement.

That's not you, is it, poor boy? Ah, it is.

What's got into you?

I don't understand things.

I work hard for 30 years building cars.

And the moment I retire, people call me layabout.

Is that the way you're supposed to retire, by doing nothing?

I don't believe my ears.

You know, the next thing you're going to tell me is that this is not a broom?

That is definitely a broom.

So hurry up.

Look, if you work hard all your life, just sitting down and doing nothing

good for the system, I may grow old too quickly.

But I am old.

You see, it's started to happen already.

But I still have things I want to achieve before I die.

Oh, that's good.

You have to set yourself targets.

That's what keeps you going.

Yeah.

I'd like to win the Grand National with a thousand to one outsider.

That's what you're hanging on for. You might as well book your coffin right

Looks like you found a vocation in life, Popeye.

Shut up, Matthew.

What have I said? Too much.

Well, what was your lecture today, Matthew? Well, I didn't go to a lecture

today, Shirley, because... Ta -da!

Francesca, may I introduce you to Desmond, Shirley, Michael, and last, and

all means least, Popeye.

We have become a grand... Grandfather.

Congratulations,

Matthew. Thank you.

Matthew, you're far too young to be a grandfather.

And far too old to be a student.

Francesca, isn't she lovely? Thank you. And here's a picture of my grandchild.

Not this one. There's nothing on it. I know.

I'm waiting for him to fill it up.

Jack, look, I haven't even a steady girlfriend, and I'm far too young to

contemplate getting... Young? You call 27 young?

Michael, if you'd looked at children as an investment, your mother and I would

have had 50 grand change from you by now.

That's right. You can't hang about forever, you know, Michael.

Mother, look, I'm enjoying things as they are. It's my life, and I can do

it whatever I choose.

Now, Father, can I borrow that old, jazzy, hand -painted 50s tie you got,

please? No. Why not?

Because it's my tie, and I can do with it whatever I choose.

Oh, Desmond, stop sulking. Let me buy the tie.

So you want it for anyway.

What does it matter? Just lend him the tie. It's all right. I don't want it

anymore, okay? So you ask me at all? Because I... You want grandchildren,

Right, right. Why don't you lend me the tie so that I can look smart, attract

the woman of my dreams, we make mad passionate love, you have a grandchild,

have a tie, and everybody's happy.

Why didn't you say that in the first place?

It's in the wardrobe.

Thanks, Dad.

I thought it'd be fun to wait till my college reunion tomorrow.

Oh, yes.

Tomorrow. is when you open that envelope.

What envelope?

Well, five years ago when we graduated, my friends and I went out for a meal.

And we popped into an envelope what we thought we'd be doing in five years'

time. What for?

Because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

Tomorrow we'll tell.

Have you got the money?

Oh, yes.

Here we are.

What's that?

My contract of agreement.

I don't want to buy a house, man.

I just want 50 pounds to borrow for a week.

Lending money to friends is an easy way of ruining friendships.

But I wouldn't ask a friend for money. That's why I came to you.

sign before you go, Mr. Ambrose. Right. Thank you, Mandy.

You going somewhere special? I haven't seen that tie before.

Uh, no.

Well, I don't want to appear too formal. It's just a reunion with some of my

college friends.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Well, I think it's important to keep in contact with one's social peers.

Even if one may have left them behind career -wise.

So, it's a night out with the boys?

No, no. Two of them are girls.

Career girls?

Who knows?

Maybe one of them's destined to be a bank manager.

Yes, it'd be refreshing to see a woman behind that desk one day.

Yes, well, thank you, Mandy. That'll be all.

Chinese restaurant where we made our path.

Oh, we should have. Oh, I don't know. Since my stopover in Bangkok, I prefer

Thai food.

It would have been a bit difficult, Charlotte. It's an estate agent for now.

What? What, an estate agent for taking over? Hey, no, knock it.

Sorry, James, but you know what I mean.

No. Yes, he does.

Well, come on, Michael. Don't keep us in suspense any longer.

before I do.

You're not going to give us any sentimental claptrap, are you? Oh, come

Michael hasn't got a sentimental bone in his body. What I was going to say is,

if any of us hasn't achieved what he or she set out to do, as concealed in his

envelope, look, just remember, we wrote what we wrote on a drunken night after

our graduation day, OK? You sound pretty drunk now.

I'm driving.

Aren't we all? Do press on, Michael. I have to get up frightfully early

nowadays. Come on. Right, here we go.

And...

James. Right,

James. Five years ago, you wrote, I believe London is on the verge of a

explosion. I'd like to get a piece of the action.

Well?

Well, I joined Hardbottle and Hardbottle, where I rose to district

I then moved on to Farquhar and Farquhar.

This is, alas, dead men's shoes in terms of promotion.

So, I raised some venture capital and set up on my own. Peters, Peters and

Peters.

It's amazing how estate agents have a knack of finding partners with the same

name. Don't be stupid, Danny. Just make it up. My partner's real names are

Frederick and Hussein.

Anyway, we bought up a string of estate agents in London, and now I'm proud to

announce we're branching out to the whole of the south of England. Wow.

So you're the Peters, Peters and Peters who brought the little Chinese

restaurant? Yes, call it nostalgia.

Well, for a man who only wanted a piece, you've virtually eaten the whole cake.

Well done.

Cheers.

Yes, yes, well done. Cheers.

Right, Charlotte Piggott Smith.

Succeed in my job without having to compromise because I'm a woman.

Heavy.

Proceeded or compromised?

Well, put it this way, we all have to compromise.

But it's stopped short of sleeping with the boss.

I work on the money market, commanding a team of ten.

My salary is fabulous, and the only drawback is I have to get up early,

aided my skin no end.

Just think, in another five years, if the money's even better and your skin's

even worse, you'll be able to afford a facelift.

Come on, let's hear it for Charlotte. Charlotte.

Yes, Charlotte.

Well, uh... Nigel Clarke, your turn.

Nigel? I want to earn enough money to be as silly as I want, and more

importantly, enough to watch the West Indies cricket team play anywhere in the

world.

Come on, Nigel.

Well, I'm off to India next week, where we should give them a damn good

thrashing. We?

The West Indies.

That's very simple.

Last year, I made enough money to afford a return ticket to Australia to watch

the West Indies.

On my travels, I saw a number of items which I could sell to British businesses

and shops.

So I started importing in bulk.

Now I do the same in the Caribbean and in India.

So I can safely say that I combine business with pleasure.

Jammy little... Yes, I know.

Terrible, isn't it?

Nigel. Nigel.

Nigel.

All right, Dothuli.

I want to be happy.

Is that all?

What do you mean, is that all? I mean, happiness is being, and being is

happiness. That's a bit then, isn't it? No, not at all.

And are you happy, Doth?

Ecstatically. I'm a British rep for a Hong Kong -based shipping company, and

name is Martin. Well done, come on. Let's hear it for dough. Dough. Dough.

Dough.

Well, that only leaves Michael.

Ah, the moment of truth.

Come on, Michael.

Chop, chop.

Thanks.

Michael Ambrose Superstar.

Joke. Oh.

Right. Okay.

I want to be the youngest...

Bank manager. Either that or become a millionaire by the time I'm 30.

Well, Mr. Ambrose, what is your current status? Manager or millionaire?

Neither.

Oh, good, someone's failed.

I was beginning to think we were the most incredibly successful bunch of

I'm an assistant bank manager to Branch in Peckham.

Well, this has been an interesting evening. It has.

It's nice to see you all after all these years.

Well, it was a silly idea anyway.

Whose idea was it?

Mine.

I think we should meet more often. What about the same time next week? Only this

time, let's bring our other halves. Great idea.

Let's hear it for our other halves.

Popeye, if you don't like the terms, you don't have to borrow the money.

Well, I can't read the terms to know if I don't like them.

Because of all that legal mumbo -jumbo. Oh, Matthew won't rip you off.

I wouldn't rip him off.

Well, only a little bit. Yes, precisely.

That's why he has to protect his interests.

All you have to say is, I lend you this money, and if you don't pay it back to

me, I'll break your legs.

I mean, that is simple.

You don't have to have a whole heap of degrees to express that.

Exactly. The man is trying to bamboozle me.

We could have lent you that money.

I didn't want to ask you, because I know you're saving up to build your house.

Oh, chairman, that is long term.

End of term soon come for you.

Hey, poor guy.

In junior term.

I ask Matthew and he give me this.

Well, we can still give you the money.

No, no, no, no. It's a matter of principle now.

He thinks he's outsmarted me. He thinks I'm stupid.

But I'll find out what this means, even if I don't understand it.

What?

There's Coral there, please.

Come in.

Coral, baby.

How are you?

Well, I've been busy.

You know what I mean.

What are you doing Saturday?

A party.

No, I definitely can't make Sunday.

I am busy.

My new number.

Oh dear, we've been cut off.

What am I going to do, Mandy?

I don't know.

Mandy.

Oh no, it's too short notice. What is? Okay, I'll come clean.

Look, after the reunion last night, we decided to meet up again on Saturday.

But this time, well, we have to bring along the girl, most likely out of all

ones we know, to get to the top in her chosen profession.

So, naturally, I... Mandy, I suppose you wouldn't come with me.

No. What? Sorry?

I've known you long enough to know when you're lying.

we haven't seen Popeye at clearing up time these last couple of days.

He down at the library trying to sort out Matthew's contract.

Poor Popeye. He was only 11th in our class.

And where were you?

10th.

Michael.

Michael?

Tell me.

Do you think an assistant bank manager's a good job?

Yes, son, I think it's a very good job.

It's not as good as the manager's, but it's reasonably well paid.

How much do you get paid?

Enough.

I mean, I'm young enough and good enough to continue to climb the promotions

ladder. I have a financial consultancy business, and I'm a partner in this

business, so you can't criticize me on enterprise.

No.

So why do I feel such a failure?

Well, if that is failure, what is success?

For some people, there's no such thing.

They have to have one more goal.

They have to achieve something else.

It's a self -consuming passion that often leaves the afflicted a very lonely

person. Oh, that is poetry.

I like that, sir.

Self -afflicting, yes, yes.

We had the reunion last night.

Opened the envelope, and everybody had done better than they hoped all those

years ago.

Everybody except me.

Well, what did you want to achieve?

Well... Let's just say I was way off.

Would I be right in saying that for you, success equals money?

Lots of money.

Sometimes I despair of you.

It's all money, money, money.

Money is all... Well, in a way, I...

didn't achieve what you set out to do.

And I'm also glad you feel a failure.

Because the truth of the matter is, it had to take this knock in your ego for

you to really look at yourself.

And don't you look at me like that.

Michael, you're my son, and I love you dearly.

But I have to admit, I don't like the way society seems to be fashioning you.

You work with money all day. I would have thought that was enough instead

bringing it home with you as well? I wouldn't mind bringing some home with

You know what I mean.

Michael, open your eyes and your mind and look for real happiness because

judging by that long face, money doesn't make you happy.

Thanks, Mum.

Thanks, sir.

Who's he thanking me for? I didn't say anything.

I think that's what he's thanking you for.

Come in.

A Mr. Uncle, friend of your father's pork pie to see you, sir. So you're

You don't have time to see your uncle? You're not my uncle.

Well, not in blood, but I am in every other way.

I used to bounce him on my knee when he was a child, you know.

I remember how we used to wet the bed.

Bank manager with his ears and graces.

Just remember, remember deep down we are all the same.

I used to wet the bed too, you know.

Listen, Popeye, if you want to see me, you have to do things properly. I will

not have you humiliating my staff like this. Oh, it's okay, sir. I used to wet

the bed too.

Thank you, Mandy.

Okay, Popeye, let's get on with it. You see that?

That is what much you want me to sign just to borrow 50 pounds.

The man has caused me so much grief over this money.

It has things in there that even I don't understand.

Yes.

This document is ridiculous.

I mean, it's cleverly structured, but ultimately it goes round in circles.

So there are no clauses, because each new clause is dependent on the last one.

Look, basically, it says if you can't pay him back, you owe him two goats and

chicken.

Where the hell am I going to get two goats from?

Then you look under...

Paragraph 4, subsection 14b, which says, if you can't pay him the goat, then

he'll settle for a word processor.

Word processor?

No, what Matthew has done is play a joke on you, pork pie. What, you play a joke

on me?

Were that little scheming African student?

Then he wants solar panels for his house in the Gambia, a ticket for the first

passenger flight to the moon, etc., etc.

And if you can't manage that, he'll, uh...

You have to go back to beginning or start all over again.

You know the trouble with Africans?

They don't have a sense of humour.

Come in.

Mr Peters to see you, sir.

Peters?

Do you know what it's about?

He wouldn't say.

Well, in that case, show him in.

Thanks. James!

Hello, Michael. How are you? Fine, thanks. Take a seat.

So, what brings you around here?

No, no, no, don't tell me.

Our property tycoon wants to borrow money from a humble assistant bank

I actually came on behalf of everyone to apologise for the other night.

Apologise? Yes, we set you up.

You set me up? Before you develop a persecution complex, Michael, I think

should ask yourself why we did.

Why? Why should I ask myself that? It's you who should be asking yourself why.

I mean, why me?

Quick! simple really as much as we all like you michael when we're in college

you never stop talking about yourself what you are going to achieve and how

money you're going to make i'm not knocking that i know it's important to

yourself targets and strive to achieve them but when it borders on narcissism

becomes a bit much was i that bad maybe Maybe not.

But when you don't see someone for a long time, what stays in your mind are

lasting impressions.

And we just felt it was our turn.

So what do you really do for a living? I am an estate agent, and I have set up

my agency with two partners. But we only have two premises, and it's pretty

tough. Yeah, I know.

So what about the others?

Doe is indeed happy. She met this chap called Martin, and she found out a

of weeks ago she's pregnant.

So she's giving up the job she hates as the legal secretary to start a family.

As for Charlotte... Is she on the money market in charge of a team of ten?

No, not quite. She's actually a bank clerk.

Oh!

And Nigel? Oh, it's true about Nigel, but he always was a rich brat trying to

slouch.

So, are you on for Saturday?

No more pretensions?

What do you call the...

I call it a joke.

What do you call it?

Well, I call it a joke as well.

But it wasn't very funny.

I wanted to know how long it would take before you found out.

Eight days is not bad for a man of your intelligence.

Desmond, did you hear that? Yes, and he's right.

I am not staying here to be insulted.

Oh, come on, Popeye. It's a joke.

Yes, the money doesn't matter. You can have it anyway.

Because this moment of triumph on the side of your face is worth every penny.

Come in.

Some homework for you, sir. Thank you, Mandy.

You seem very happy.

I most certainly am.

The reunion was just one big hoax.

My friends aren't the rip -roaring successes they're made out to be. In

they're just like everyone else.

Well, no, not like everyone else.

They're like me.

Just like me.

So, does that mean you won't need me for dinner tomorrow night?

I never said that.