All language subtitles for Desmonds s02e05 A Microwave.eng

From the long, warm night with an ocean
breeze to the damp and to the rain of

London City.

We come from the sun to live in the
cold. I'm in the rough. I want my

tree.

Let's keep the music sweet. Wind up your
waist and feel the heat.

If that's the size of your overnight
bag, I'd hate to see the size of your

suitcase.

You never know what could happen when
we're over there. Oh, I hope something

happens. We're only going to Boulogne
for a couple of days.

Oh, do you know how stylish the French
are? Yes, especially Dominique. Well, I

couldn't make up my mind what to wear
tonight.

So you thought you'd carry a wardrobe?

There's just a few things.

Now, Desmond, you know what you have to
do. Do? What do I got to do? Yes, now.

Number one, remember, phone Sean at
Cousin Gracie's in Dorset.

I leave all the food in the fridge. Come
on, hurry up, boys and girls. God,

blimey, I wouldn't have thought partying
would be such a sweet story at your

age. I'd be glad to see the backs of
each other for a couple of days. Lee.

Shut up. Shut up.

I like that. You've done someone a
favour and all they do is cuss you.

Now, Desmond, I'll go through it again.

The food is in the fridge where
everything is labelled, right?

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, everything.

All you have to do is pop it in the
microwave.

How do you know I can't use that thing?

Well, it's time you learned.

Don't push your luck, you.

Otherwise, you'll stay here with your
father.

Yes, behave yourself.

Anyway, that microwave don't even look
like a proper cooker. It look like a TV

in which you push things.

It's pretty simple, Des. All you do, you
switch it on, you plug it in, you pop

it in.

No. You plug it in and you switch it on.

Same difference.

You see, they can't even agree to
disagree if these young minds can

How do you expect an old dog like me to
operate it? Because this old dog has

learned that this new trick wasn't
difficult, so she left the instruction

on the table upstairs so this old dog
can learn it too.

All right.

Listen,

will you miss me?

Oh, I don't know you ain't gone yet. Go.

Don't get up to anything.

Moi?

Listen, listen.

When you see that Dominic, you tell her
the Prince of Peckham's still waiting,

yeah? Don't worry, I'll put in a good
word for you.

Bye, enjoy yourself.

Ah, Desmond Ambrose.

Tonight, you gonna rave.

Why me hungry?

It's funny how you could miss things.

What do you mean? Like Shirley being
your skivvy, making you tea and toast

whatever? I didn't mean it that way.
It's just that we didn't have any this

morning. That's why I'm hungry.

Yeah, well, I'll pop out of the shop and
eat some sandwiches in a minute.

Sandwiches? You call that food?

That's just two slices of bread with
something cold in between.

I want something hot and filling. Food?
Did somebody mention food?

Why, I'm hungry, you know.

Two teas and toast, please, Shirley.

Yes, please, Shirley.

My wife, the hairdresser, is not here.
If you want tea and toast, there's a cap

down the road.

Ah, yes.

We're going to Boulogne today.

We're going to have to ask for French
fries next Monday.

But what have we got for now, Desmond?

But, Papa, you've been seething your
face all morning.

Look, man, my stomach is still playing
bongo drums.

Maybe you have worms.

Worms? They must have been in that patio
I had last night. Well, if I feed them,

they might go back to the garden.

Well, Popeye, if you feel ill, I'd
better come to you all tonight and carry

Matthew instead.

I never felt better. Let's go and think
on this. Where are you going tonight?

Yes, please, do tell.

I was almost invited, sir, as you know.

It's no way special. Just a little, uh,
piano bar in Streatham. Oh, what you

mean when there's lots of, um...

Women. I'm a married man.

Anybody know how to operate a microwave?

Yes, I do.

Have one at home. Step this way.

There's food enough upstairs to feed the
5 ,000.

Tony, when you finish with that
customer, lock up his lunchtime.

No, I mean, you show me. What if
Michael... Listen, who's the boss of the

My son or me?

Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. Good.

Redfish, rice and peas.

Boy, I am so hungry, I could eat the
label.

Well, she got it.

Aki. And sawfish.

Beef stew.

And dumplings.

Chicken. And roti.

Pork pie. And there's one.

Matthew,

I thought you said you could operate
this thing. Yeah, I thought you said we

Africans understand sophisticated
technology.

this one is more complicated.

Don't worry, Desmond. I'll sort it out
in no time. And look, I ain't got time

for that. Let me go out and get some pub
grub. Don't talk about grub, man.

Is that one living in my stomach?

Be patient, you two. Just give me a
minute. I've almost cracked it.

Matthew, that is a microwave, not a
safe.

You know, a wicked pub would have
dragged you about to play some hard

black people speak like that.

Johnny, I'd like to go to this exquisite
public heist where there's a marvelous

jukebox that plays some hard tunes.

Yeah, man.

The show don't make tunes like that
anymore.

I was going to say diamond, but that was
back then. That was the sort of tunes

they played back then.

But today's music is a lot of electro
-synthesized pop. In one way or the

I mean, take a look at scratch music.

You know, scratching records together.

There is no need to play an instrument.

Just add a backbeat.

preferably handclaps, and Robert is your
fella.

That's not music.

That's plagiarism. That's right.

Thank you.

Thank you. And what lecture did you get
that from, Matthew?

Is today's multimedia society a question
of style over content?

Oh, God, I've got an essay for you, Des.
Will Michael forgive Desmond for

closing the shop today?

If Shirley can have a day off, I can
have a day off. Yeah, but Michael's

me to be with you today, isn't he? So,
you're with me, aren't you?

What do you think you're doing?

Nothing. I'm sitting here having an
intelligent conversation with my friends

about style over content.

And if you have as much style and indeed
content as my learned gentleman here,

you may join us.

Dressed up or quite dressed up? Boy,
same again, please. And, um, a pint of

lager for me, sir.

Daddy, it's Saturday, our busiest day,
and here you are... Michael, there are

Saturdays in every year.

And if one goes missing, it ain't gonna
make much difference. So just relax and

stop thinking about that God you call
money for a while.

You're a young man.

And if you carry on like this, you're
going to work yourself to an early

which will deprive me of one of the few
pleasures I have left.

What's that?

Hearing you say nice things about me on
my deathbed.

I worry about you.

You really enjoy confrontation, don't
you?

Especially with you.

Now that's what I call music.

What's wrong?

The landlord's thrown me out.

I went to visit a friend and when I came
back, he changed all the locks and he

threw all my clothes out onto the
street.

He can't do that. It's against the law.

No, not anymore, it isn't.

Haven't you got any weightings today?

No. Why did he kick you out? What kind
of a question is that? Look, I just want

to get to the bottom of the situation.

The situation is very simple.

Why?

These are ruthless times we're living
in. It's do it to them before they do it

to you.

I was reading a piece in the newspaper.
Have you no friends to turn to?

Not really.

You see, I don't come from round here.
I'm from Wales.

Well, um, I've got a spare room you
could use for the night.

You don't know what you're letting
yourself in for.

Once she's in, you'll never get her out.

Well, the landlord didn't have that
problem.

That is the problem with people today.

If a man can't extend a helping hand to
a fellow woman, what has this world come

into? I mean, look at him.

What's your name?

Helen.

Do you know how to use a microwave?

This way, Helen.

Come on.

I thought you said you could operate it.

Yes, I can, but this one's a bit... More
complicated.

Why don't you let me do it? I know how.
I bought the same one as Lee.

Lee? No wonder we can't operate it.

Ironic, isn't it?

I came to London to work in a hotel in
the West End.

I'd only been there a few weeks when
they introduced a new shift system.

Couldn't do it because of the baby.

Then I began to fall a few weeks behind
with the rent.

Yeah, how many weeks?

26.

Couldn't get a job. And all my benefit
went to feed Jimmy.

Oh, dear.

What's wrong?

I haven't got any baby food.

And you haven't got any money, right?

Yes.

Only a couple of pounds.

I'll give my child benefit tomorrow.

I'll give you the money. No, no, it's
all right. I'll give it tomorrow. All

right.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted her with
that money. Well, maybe something

happened to her. Look, what did I tell
you about people like that? Once you let

them in, you'd never get rid of them.
Well, it certainly doesn't apply in her

case. You think I ought to call the
police? Come on, give her some time,

mean, there could be all sorts of
reasons.

Time? I'm already late for my piano bar.
What are we going to do with the baby

if she doesn't come back?

She will come back. She doesn't look
like the kind of woman that would

her baby.

Father, she's been gone three hours. The
shop is only down the road. Yeah, look,

she might have bumped into the landlord.
He had a change of heart and... She'll

be back by now.

I think I'll call the police.

I know that smell. Oh, number two smell.
Big job.

Listen to these men. Look, it's
perfectly natural. The baby's had a

Um,

Popeye, go in the bathroom and bring me
a flannel. Nephew, that's oven cleaner.

And, um, while you watch it, go
downstairs and bring me a hand towel.

Clean film. Is this any good?

It's me.

Actually, how are you, darling?

I called the house this afternoon, and
it just rang and rang, and there was no

answer. Yeah.

Well, that was because we were so busy,
I had to take the phone off the pub.

Is everything all right?

Yes, yes.

Did you sort out the microwave?

Oh, yes.

It's funny I made such a fuss about it.
It's easy once to get the hang of it.

noise? Desmond!

Yeah!

You told us to what? Well, microwave
food can be like that sometimes.

Oh, Desmond, I wish you could be here.
It is so romantic.

Je t 'aime, mon chéri.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Are you trying to get rid of me?

No. Um, where are you?

Oh, we're in this lovely restaurant with
Dominique. Restaurant, eh?

I got the nappies.

Um, Shirley and Gloria in your
restaurant will pay. Uh, tell them not

the pate.

Listen, do you want to have a word with
Gloria?

All right.

Like that?

Oh, having a nice time. Wish we were
only joking. Bye.

Bye.

I better go now.

Look after yourself.

Bye. Bye, Shirley.

Bye, Shirley.

I'm getting too old for this. Does she
suspect anything?

Nah, everything's cool.

Hello?

Ma 'am!

What a pleasant surprise.

I'm in the bath.

I'm trying to see Dad.

Up for no good.

Mother, he's a grown man, and grown men
always get up to no good.

Yes, of course I will.

Yeah, goodbye, Mother. I'll speak to you
tomorrow.

Look at him.

Not a cure in the world.

Just think, we were all like that once.

Even you.

When are you going to make me one of
them?

Huh? Who?

I'm serious.

I feel incomplete.

I want to be a grandfather soon.

Look, I can't afford to have children
yet.

Why do you always have to reduce things
down to money?

I mean, look at him.

He's priceless.

You can never afford to have kids.

You have them out of love.

And whether you like it or not, me and
your mother had you out of love.

In those days, we were living in a tiny
one -bedroom flat in East Dulwich, not a

million miles away from Helen and young
Jimmy.

Could barely afford to pay the rent,
much less feed you.

But at least we had each other.

If we'd waited to afford you, we
wouldn't be sitting on this bed tonight

wondering what the hell we could do with
this baby.

Don't disturb him. Don't disturb him.

We'll sort it out tomorrow.

Well, of course I miss my wife and
children.

But there are certain things one has to
sacrifice in order to secure the future.

But with all those degrees you've got,
Matthew, you should have enough

qualifications to go back to the Gambia
by now.

It's not as easy as that.

It's a complex issue that would take a
long time to explain.

Well, we've got all night.

Well, it's to do with the present
educational structure.

I come from a long line of
intellectuals.

You're at the back of it.

My family, we believe that even if a man
is going to be a road sweeper... You

mean you're getting all these degrees to
be a road sweeper?

Even if a man is going to be a road
sweeper, he mustn't be denied a

education. Oh, you Africans are so long
-winded.

All right, all right.

Here,

Pope, I mean, you must miss your wife
and kids, eh? Nah.

Sometimes.

All right, I admit it.

It was my fault. I mean, she caught me
in bed with another woman.

You know, I asked forgiveness and she
said she'd never forgive me. And true to

her word, she never has.

The worst thing is that my kids haven't
forgiven me. I mean, I wouldn't mind,

but they weren't there when she caught
me.

I thought they'd show some respect or at
least some pity. But nah, just like

their mother, nothing.

Well, how did you expect them to love
you? When you did it by your own

admission, you were never around much.

always away playing jigs.

Jigs? But I don't know what you're
talking about because you're not around

yourself. Ah, but we Africans are quite
different from you wet Indians.

My children have to love me.

Yes, me.

Can I have my baby back, please?

You want your baby back? How can you
call him your baby?

I mean, what happened to... And why did
you... And where did you... And what

if... And how... Speak to me, woman.

I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean to do what I did. Can I
come in?

When the landlord threw me out, I didn't
know what to do.

When you came along, it was like a
miracle.

I had nowhere to go when you offered me
a place to stay.

You didn't even take my offer.

I know. I'm really sorry.

Do you know what it's like being a
single man?

Of course not.

Oh, I didn't mean that.

I wanted a day to myself.

I haven't had a day to myself since
Jimmy was born.

You looked like people who could take
care of him for a while. I wasn't going

do anything.

I was going to go to the shops and I was
going to come straight back.

But lo and behold, I bumped into the
childminder who used to look after Jimmy

when I was working.

I went back to her place.

I told her me problems.

And do you know what?

What?

I had the first good night's sleep since
Jimmy was born.

It might sound selfish, but it's...

Oh, well, anyway, she has a spare room
and she's offered it to me rent -free

until I get a job.

I always thought the big cities had a
little time for somebody like me.

But you can be wrong.

Thanks for your support.

It's a change.

It's for Jimmy.

It's okay, girls. Carry on cleaning.

Prat in her apron.

Hello, Dad.

Hello, darling.

Well? Hey,

did you have a nice day? Oh, yes, yes.
What is good to be back home?

All right, Lee. Anywhere.

Anywhere. How can we thank you?

Papa.

Voici un petit cadeau pour vous. Oh,
thanks, darling.

What's that mean?

It's French for I didn't get you
anything greedy.

What, not even a message from Dominique?

Oh, yeah.

I said, was there a little lovely
message she wanted to send me, the

Peckham, and she said, um... Yeah?

Oop.

Look, butter.

Watch out, watch out.

And what did you bring me, darling?

Oh, just moi.

Oh, well, that's just what I wanted.

Well, now, did you have a nice... Quiet
time?

Oh, yes, yes.

Made lots of money in the shop
yesterday?

Yes.

Did you get up to anything?

No.

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