Original subtitles

Your name's going to be Shannon.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Does she look like you?

No, Colin, she looks like you. That's why I'm not having her put down.

Hey, anybody want to buy me a drink for my cue?

Get this off me.

Baby shit. Don't smell that hot in this shit. It's like...

concentrating or something. Oh, lovely, thank you. You'll be telling me it's

green next.

Hey, sleep deprivation, well -known form of torture. I'll tell you what a well

-known form of torture is, having to listen to the shit you lot come out with

home.

No, I'm serious, right?

Responsibility is now being a dad looking after my little girl. It's not

to be easy.

Just stay still.

It's okay.

Hey, I was dead lucky, really.

Could have been a lot worse.

Might have been twins.

I could get used to this.

I thought you already were used to it. Hey, Monday morning, 11 o 'clock, all

lads will be working their balls off.

What?

You've got any sauce?

I wasn't counting.

What, you land on your head or what?

Time on?

Kev, a whole person had just come out my belly.

I can hardly get my arse into the car, let alone dye Ken's trousers.

Give it a few weeks.

And how are we going to pay for this lot on sick pay?

I've been to see that bloke, the lawyer.

He reckons, and this happens, right?

So immediately it clashes into you, you're going to get compensation, like

grand. What, for a fractured leg and some stitches?

Yeah.

That, and the trauma and depression.

But you're not depressed.

That's not what a psychologist reckons.

What psychologist?

No one's going to see me like this.

I've just had a new baby and I'm too nervous to pick her up.

You always were the jammy bastard, you. That's nothing to do with jammy. I'm

just making the most of the situation.

Yeah, but you're making the most of it illegally because you're walking

backwards into that road. It makes no sense.

Mr Liffler says that.

We threatened to take her to court and that's what gets the insurance company

talking. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you might want to get your

on this money before you start spending it, Kev. Yeah, they're not just going to

roll over and pay out ten grand, are they?

Right, we're going to say she should have stopped.

Why didn't she stop?

Right, so they might lose.

And with the baby and the trauma and everything, my bloke says for sure

going to try and buy us off, settle it out of court.

I'm sorry I dabbed out of the way now.

Can I say I was traumatised watching my mate get run over? A mate like Kev,

that's got to be worth, what, 50 quid?

You're so flush, get the beers in. No chance.

Get the vodkas in. Come on!

She's here.

That woman, she's here.

The one who's carrying you.

What are you going to do?

I know you're probably the last person

you want to see, but I just wanted to see how you are and to tell you that I'm

sorry.

That's all.

I spoke to your wife and...

She told me that this is where I could find you and that you have a new baby.

That's the best thing for anyone.

Better than winning the lottery or playing at Old Trafford. Better than

hit by a car.

If there is any way I could help you, I would like to, if you wanted.

Sorry for her. Thought she seemed all right. Toss off. She deserves it.

Do you still knock up? No. Maybe you could get to shagging as part of the

compensation.

Hey, Kev, do it again. Go on.

Better than being hit by a car.

Better than the best thing that is better than anything.

Better than playing with old truffles.

Hey, come on.

Oh, that's good.

I came here because I can't sleep.

I close my eyes and I see you on the ground all smashed up.

I wanted you to be all right.

So, well, now I can see that you are all right.

And I can see what kind of man you are to want me to suffer, to enjoy that, to

laugh at it.

I can't even bear looking at you.

Who do you think you're kidding?

What, are you all a victim now because I took a piss? Why are you so angry?

Because I showed all of your friends here what a shit you are. What, are you

coming to say how sorry you are? Oh, yeah.

It's easy being concerned, you mother bastard.

Wasted on a man who likes to hurt other people. I didn't drive a car right

through your life, did I, you piece of piss?

Why, what kind of man could take a terrible thing like this and make a joke

of it? All I did was have a wine cup. You could have killed, but there's no

contest. Did the police prosecute me?

It was an accident.

I had an accident. I didn't want to hurt you.

Kev, you can't mess about with something like this.

Can we at least have a conversation about it?

It's a shock, yeah, but...

You have to hate me.

She's a belt, ain't she? She knows me voice already. I can see it. Can you

believe that?

I think she's tired, Kev.

Nah, she's not long woke up.

Yeah, but it's a bit warm out here for her, isn't it?

She's going to need a feed.

She's scared I'm going to drop her.

Oh, mums. They can keep them. Catch you in a bit, Kev. See you later.

Yeah, lad.

Yeah.

You're looking well, Kev. I mean, I'll sing.

I'll the leg.

I mean, I'll the baby. Oh, you mean, Trader.

Hi, Kev.

Sorry to hear about the soft sword. You get spotted in here, they'll have you

back in no time. Why do you think I've come in?

There is only so much daytime telly you can take before you start thinking every

shag in their mother instead of you.

No doubtful, Jamie.

Hey,

Kev. Do you hear about her, eh, doing swimming?

Oh, leave off it.

Trying to lose some weight, won't he? So, uh, goes down to the pool before

First day there, crack of dawn, in he goes. Found a mushy man.

Meanwhile, somebody breaks into his locker, has away the lot.

Asked his ref to me car keys. Can you believe it? That time in the morning.

He had to get a taxi home with his dripping yellow swimming trunks.

Yellow? Wish I said they were red now.

What are you lot laughing at? You turned into happy workers when I wasn't

looking. I might have known you'd be the cause of it, Kev.

You should be at home, downing chicken broth and Lucozade. No, I've had enough

of all that. Comes off in a week.

Fantastic. Do you want to come up and have a word?

Yeah.

Not feeling wobbly or anything?

Need anything?

No, just get back to work.

Good.

So, we need to talk about what it is you'll be doing.

I'll be doing my job.

Yeah, but what job? That's what I'm saying.

My job, cutting.

What's this about?

I've spoken to the health and safety people and there's no way Coopers and

Farland, Can allow your back cutting.

What are you talking about?

She couldn't get the insurance.

Now.

Not with this, um, this other thing.

When have I ever had an accident?

One accident.

Check it out. Bloody AIDS. Always out. What's happening with your driving

licence? It's only for a year. That's stupid.

Of course I can drive.

They took your driving licence away because you've got epilepsy.

It's the same thing here with the cutting.

We all want you back, Kev.

There's plenty of other jobs you can do. Like what, pushing a broom?

Service hand.

You think I'm going to fetch and carry?

Look, I want my job back, the job I've done since I left school. There's no

discussion to be had here, Kev. It is not me deciding this.

That's the way it is.

Do you think about it?

And why didn't you tell me about this?

Because there's nothing to tell.

What, £100 ,000?

You're giving us £100 ,000 and you just say nothing to me about it?

What difference does it make? We're not getting it anyway.

Well, why are we not getting it?

Because they've got it wrong this time, haven't they? They've got it wrong last

time. This time it's because of the epilepsy.

When they were saying £10 ,000 you brought for it, now this, this... Kev,

is a whole new life and you're... What?

Eh? What, because I'm a freak I'm going to be the golden goose, is that it?

End of story.

I didn't show you, I did. You're just too bastard slow.

Why don't you go back to Wales or wherever you're from?

Are you still seeing that bird off Rent Street?

Who's speaking out straight?

It's her name, Ricky.

Have you not seen her?

She's the most, isn't it?

I tell you, this place is so sexy.

It's pretty interesting.

Yeah,

but

the fact of the matter is, don't talk to her.

Tell her what she's got.

Eh?

My life don't look good, sir.

She's smothered the car into me.

I lose my license.

Does that sound right to you, eh?

My job, gone.

They tell me I can't even get pissed up to draw me sorrows.

Do you want to know the killer?

My wife's too scared to let me hold my own baby.

But you enjoy your drinks, yeah?

Don't mind me.

Just the guy.

Rachel.

I can't believe it.

Believe it.

What do you want from me?

Got what I wanted. Seeing you, you just slide right back into your cushy life,

don't you?

Is that what you think?

I saw it.

Have you really left your job?

Can I help you? I'm not interested.

Now, piss off!

How many vodkas can you get in one glass, pal?

Let me buy this for you.

Told you, I'm not interested.

The same.

Give me a pint.

No, I have a pint.

I love beer.

You're wasted on him, love.

Please.

Kevin, listen to me.

Don't do this.

Don't be like this, please.

Don't let this defeat you and ruin your life. I couldn't bear that.

I don't want to know.

That's that, then.

There's a man who doesn't know gorgeous when he sees it, does he?

Give up.

I have to do that.

What you saw in the wine bar.

Smiling and flirting and looking like I'm having fun. It's my job.

Were you some sort of escort?

Might have known.

I do public relations.

Wine bars, hotels, restaurants, other stuff.

Those people were journalists.

I take them there, they enjoy themselves.

They might write a piece in their paper about the place.

And everyone lives happy ever after.

I love my job. I won't go and apologize for that.

Would it make your situation any easier if my life was terrible?

Yes.

You were much more convincing when you were faking it.

This is not you.

You've got more balls than this.

What do you want, Kevin?

I want you to stop calling me Kevin.

It's Kev.

I don't want to get completely pissed out of my head.

Okay. I think we can fix that, Kev.

So sophisticated.

I'm touching.

Again? Don't burn.

Don't burn. Don't burn. Don't burn.

Don't burn. Don't burn. Don't burn. Don't burn. Don't burn.

Don't burn. Don't burn. And then you

swallow.

My boyfriend. My ex -boyfriend.

He wasn't exactly in love with my job.

He said I was working too many hours and too many nights.

He said I'm too bothered about my career.

So that's why he's my ex -boyfriend.

Well said for once.

No question. I mean, what's he on?

You think he's wrong to want to stop me?

Wrong? He's mad.

He's got a bird that's earning. He could just put his feet up and he's laughing.

No booze?

So, your job is you just go around boozing with the likes of this lot.

Like parties every night.

Oh, but it's not all just drinking the best wines and eating the fanciest food

or talking to the happening people. I have to do difficult things.

Like, I mean...

What do I wear? I need clothes.

So, I have to shop.

You have a funny face.

You know, me wanting me job back.

I was always moaning about it.

Same as the next block.

How many times have I said, get me out of here?

But I can see me mates looking at me.

See them thinking.

Well, that used to be Kev.

You know what to say to me.

Try and help.

I don't want to be someone that they want to help.

And Bob's feeling sorry for me.

That really does me a do.

I've always been the kind of bloke... of... like women.

And things happen... sort of easy.

You think I'm a lad?

That's gone cos... Cos being a spacker just ain't

sexy, is it?

He has said it all night before, but not... Well, he's got epilepsy.

He's actually just come back.

You twat!

Where have you been? I found the police.

I stopped with the lads.

Huh?

Barney. Just on his sofa.

You got any bacon?

I tried your mobile.

Switched it off.

Just got into one, you know, like you do.

Hello, darling.

Hello. Hey, have you got any of your big smiles for Daddy? Go on, Shannon, give

us one of your big gummy smiles.

Go on.

Yeah. Two slices or three?

Four.

Yeah. Yeah.

You've been good for Mummy.

Have you?

Have you?

All right, mate.

Oh, there's the air -cup reader.

Oh, thanks, Kev. Yeah, look, I'll have it when it's finished, sir.

Darling.

We'll see.

Good night.

Bab's my phone.

She won't, but if she does, I was out with you last night and I kipped at your

house. So where did you kip?

Oh, come on, Kev, you've got a baby now.

When did that ever make a fella keep it zipped up?

Well, actually, some of us are kids.

Look, it sounds to be a bit of growing up. I give up, but it's just a bit of a

laugh. Nice, Kev. Have you not got enough going on in your life without

off looking for a bit on the side?

What bit on the side?

Lovely. That's all I need.

Who is it?

It's not from round here, then?

Wish you'd... tell you.

I've never had anything like it.

She's one of those women.

When she's finished with you, you've got to ask, can I have my balls back,

please?

All right, Kev.

That's us. You're coming back to work. Great.

Hey, don't look too pleased, Grace. I might change my mind.

Well, it gets me out of the house, doesn't it?

Until the compensation comes through.

Oh, you're having it now, are you?

Too right I am.

That hundred grand?

Scary, isn't it, that much money? I mean, where do you start?

Sure, we'll manage.

Oh, I don't understand you blokes. You're in the pits, you go out, get

off with your mates, then you're back to normal.

I don't think we're going back to anything normal.

Hello?

How's your head?

Feels like there are about six of them and they're all spinning.

Aye. I've got an angle over the size of a mouse, but it was worth it.

So, thanks.

Well, I'm glad if I could help a little bit.

So, yeah, it's good that you're OK.

Could be more OK. I was putting the ladder, but I was actually looking...

are you doing tonight?

Oh, we're working.

We have a big party for a new singer.

That sounds like a lot.

Well, maybe yes, maybe no.

Look, I have to go. My...

Taxi's waiting.

You take care, Kel. Bye.

Yes.

How did you get in?

You invited me. Well, you remember.

You stole an invitation.

Would I do that?

Now you can see how tough my job is.

I have to make all of these people think that they are having the most fantastic

time. And I destroy them in the bunker.

And now we know what happens when we do that.

You do?

I have to mix.

Okay, well, tell me the autographs I can get them.

What?

It's a joke.

I think you should go now.

You and me should have a drink.

Oh yeah, let's do that sometime.

But what about now?

I have to work.

Finish up here.

I'll wait for you outside, yeah?

I think it might... Half an hour.

Half an hour.

I thought you said this place was only down the road.

Yeah, well, you want to turn up in a cab, don't you?

Go into Dean's Gate, please, mate.

May I down?

No, no, you're all right, mate. We'll have this one in the middle here.

Very well.

Well done.

So, how did you end up in Manchester?

My boyfriend.

Ex -boyfriend.

And then I had my job, so I stayed.

I didn't think I can get a job in PR because my English wasn't so good when I

first came here.

I don't really think it was your English you were thinking about when they took

you on, was it?

What do you think?

I'm just saying, you know, I think that joker in the pub got it wrong.

I do know gorgeous when I see it.

I think maybe my degree helped me to get a job.

I don't know. You could get a degree in flirting.

Yes, but since I did my degree, I can flirt in five different languages.

Well, cheers to that.

No, in Serbia, when you say a toast, you have to look into each other's eyes.

Cheers.

You don't ask me the same question everyone else does.

Bow the wool.

Should I?

I like it if you don't.

In Manchester, when you want to go to the bog, you've got to look into each

other's eyes and say, I've just got to take a leak.

Go away.

Thank you.

So... So?

So am I coming in?

I don't think that's a good idea.

Why?

Go home, Kev.

What's the machine coming on at this time in the morning?

I just love being given the one I could.

That's it, though, right?

Kev, why don't you come back in?

I'll cook you something to eat.

What do you look like?

I don't think any lesser because of it.

That means you do.

Come in, I'll run you a bath.

Don't you feel sorry for me?

Don't you dare feel sorry for me?

I had another fit.

You have it once.

A fit.

And you can maybe say... You know?

Could have been anything.

But twice.

That's it.

Do you want to kill Kev?

Look at me.

Look at me, please.

You are a beautiful man.

Would I lie to you?

Yeah. I know.

I have to go to work.

You could sell the car, wouldn't you?

I hope they believe that there was not a cab free in the whole of Manchester.

You know what?

I think it might be good for you not to get your own way all the time.

So I'll call you, yeah?

Yeah.

And don't steal anything from the flat.

I'll call you tonight.

Hello, can I speak...

She's not in the office. Can you tell me when she's back?

I'm not sure, but if it's urgent, perhaps I can help. No, you can't help

have to speak to Maya.

Well, in the meantime, why don't you leave a message on her voicemail?

I've already left a message.

I'm sorry, but that's all I can do.

Thanks.

Hey. Kev.

Listen, we've had the new lawn laid, so I was thinking, how about you and Babs

bring a little one over on Sunday? We'll have a barbie. Yeah, why not?

I want to get a job so we can rock a few sausages on that, and you and me can

slink off and watch the match on the telly. Yeah, sounds wicked. Let's do

It's in that solicitor.

He said the compensation.

You know the money?

Well, you don't give it to you all in one go. You kind of pay it over the rest

of your life.

Like a weekly wage.

Does that work out, then? Well, it doesn't work out a whole new life,

sure.

OK.

I've already left her a message.

Yeah. Tell her.

Just tell her I need to speak to her. Right?

It's important.

Right, Kev.

What?

What is it?

What?

What?

Kev, I'm not going to fight with you.

Are you frightened?

Kev, just please don't start shouting.

Oh, my spasm waiting to happen, aren't I?

Oh, here's a good one.

While I'm climbing on top of you, you're going to have that little thought in

your head.

Is he going to go into one?

You've been avoiding me.

Why are you doing this to me?

It was a mistake. No, I've made mistakes, plenty.

I know all about mistakes. This was not a mistake.

You have a baby, you have a wife. And that didn't stop you, so I don't believe

you. Come on, let's go back to yours.

No way. I'm not going to do that.

Listen to me, Kevin.

It's finished.

No.

No, I'm not having this. You want me, I saw it.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because I don't want you.

There's nothing between us. Nothing. We have nothing.

Have I got that money?

What do you think? Even if you had money, I would be remotely interested in

You have nothing that I want.

No. You threw me in, then you're gone. Come on, why?

You think I'm just pissing about or something? Because I'm not.

Are you listening? I want to hear you. There was nothing.

There is nothing.

You think you can just, like, vanish and that's it? Well, I'm not.

You hear me?

Why? Why are you doing this to me?

Tell me!

Guilt!

I look at you and I hate myself.

I hate what I've done to you.

That epilepsy, you had a fit, you look so broken.

And I wanted to comfort you.

I wanted to make it all right, so I screwed you.

And now... It was an accident.

I was walking backwards into the road.

No.

Yes! No. It was an accident.

You said it has to be. It was an accident.

Oh, listen to me, I'll tell you.

Just before it happened, I had a row with my boyfriend.

In the car, on the phone, both of us shouting.

He hates my job because I have to flirt. I told him it means nothing, but then

he said, if I didn't give up my job, we are not getting married.

So I did this thing, this stupid thing, because I was so mad at him.

I throw his ring away, our engagement ring, 30 ,000 pounds down the

drain.

You know what I mean, what I'm saying? 30 ,000 pounds, wash down the sewers,

like that.

That's the state I was in.

That's the kind of shit I am.

So I went back to my car, driving anywhere, nowhere, just driving.

When I came around that bend, I didn't see you because I was crying.

I was already crying.

Because I love him.

All of this happened because I love him.

Where are you going?