Original subtitles

Are you reporting a burglary?

No.

I don't know. Well, yeah.

And they got your credit card?

No, I've still got the credit card.

So nothing's missing?

Nothing's missing, but somebody's tried forging my signature.

Right. In a shop?

No, it's just a piece of notepaper.

Found it in my garden this morning.

So not in the house?

So they could have just gone rooting through your bin.

But the notepaper's from your telephone pad.

I kept it inside the house.

Well, yeah.

Do you want to bring it in so we can have a look at it?

What was your name again?

Gary Dugdale.

D -U -G... D -A -L -E.

68 Stanton Road.

You don't remember me?

Segway's car park?

You reversed into my trolley.

Oh, yeah, OK, yeah.

Sorry about that. You got me on the blind spot.

Oh, where are the eggs?

Cat food, mostly.

Oh, again, sorry.

Tina! Come on, this was your idea. I'm not going in on my own.

See you.

Bye, Gary.

Bye. Again.

What? Late.

See?

He following me?

Oh, hiya.

Do you live round here? No, I drop a mate off from work.

Rendall Street.

My locals always run out of milk by tea time. Ain't long life.

Which must mean you do.

What? Live round here.

Oh, right, yeah.

Stanton Road.

Right.

Let's get going.

Nice to see you.

Nothing. I just thought you couldn't start your car. No, I just... I never

it when I'm driving.

Mum, I'll have to go.

Fancy a drink sometime?

I don't know yet.

OK. Yeah?

I can't do weekends.

OK. Tuesday, Thursday I'm down with Jim. OK.

So, Monday, Wednesday or Friday?

Yeah. OK.

Wait.

Yeah, Wednesday.

Tomorrow, half seven.

OK.

It's Tina.

Tina.

I'm Gary.

I'll see you then, Tina.

How do I know you'll be there?

I will. I definitely will. How come? Have you ever said where?

I said Black Bull.

No. That's the rule.

You didn't.

Well, there.

Don't not have a girlfriend because that's a problem.

I just don't have one.

Right now. Okay.

When was your last relationship?

Does it matter?

It's not important. It's just a conversation.

August.

Girl called Ellen.

Long term?

Fortnight.

That's the Ellen you met in Spain, then.

How do you know?

Well, you met her in August, when everybody's away.

And that t -shirt you wear in the gym says Minocca 2001.

And it lasted a fortnight.

I'm clever like that.

Is it Pa?

Me dad's house.

Is it me or dad?

No.

It's not too personal question. Why are you making coffee?

Don't know

I thought you had to be up for half six.

I'll set the alarm on the mobile.

I'm not sleeping.

I'm not actually sleeping with anybody.

I'll get a taxi.

Pay for it.

So you give all?

Yeah. She any good?

Yeah. She's dirty.

No.

There's nothing as normal.

That's how you do it, eh?

See, I reckon they leave you too long between jumps. You're always too

flattered. No wonder they walk all over you.

It's like anybody needs advice from you.

Well, actually, er... She's not phoned me back since.

Probably shite in the sack. No sympathy.

He tried talking to her.

I don't know why. Words.

Ring.

Didn't give us a number.

Oh, well, listen, it sounds like you were dead on arrival there.

At least you got laid. Take your blessings. Move on.

She'll be at the gym tomorrow.

I'm going to give her my number. Start off. How old are you?

I don't want to feel like a prick.

Me neither.

What's it going to look like?

Oh, your mate says, oh, you ring him.

Oh, just give her the number. If she rings, she rings.

How come you couldn't come and find me yourself?

If you were going to say no, I didn't want to be there.

I'm more likely to say no to some half -baked prick like Kev than you.

Anyway, what's wrong with hearing no every now and again?

Kev knows how to talk to women.

Like a ten -year -old?

You think that's endearing? He does OK out of it.

If your sole ambition is to get your end away, sure.

As opposed to... Finding a mate.

Which am I?

You know there's a difference, or you'd never resent him.

I'm just not that confident about myself.

Would you ever want to be?

No.

Is your dad's bed?

Yeah. When's he back?

He died last March.

I only realised I was adopted when he died and I got this place. Don't want to

talk about it. I'm fine.

No, I'm not.

I moved in here end of January.

Still a bit like walking around a museum.

Where's your mum?

She died the year I was born.

I got adopted back, well, I didn't know I was adopted by my parents.

Near my brother Steve.

Which one of you?

He's younger.

Do you think we look alike?

Oh, yeah.

I used to think so.

But we're from separate parents.

I got home from work one day and there was a solicitor's letter.

I thought I was in trouble for something.

But they sat me down and told me I owned a house.

The whole house.

Price being the parents who brought us up should have told us Jean's back.

You weren't told you were adopted.

It's kind of screwed me up for a while.

Not exactly on speaking terms.

You and your brother?

No, Steve's still in touch.

When he wants to be.

Do you want me to come round?

Tonight?

Old men as accessories, come on. You can get an odd on hearing what I do with a

girlfriend. I reckon that means walking up to her. You know what, you're like a

bloody virgin, you.

Hey, at least I've got a pulse.

Like a virgin!

Just for the very first time!

Well, you're always feeding me and it's starting to look a bit one way.

Don't mind.

I do.

Get yourself a drink, put some music on and watch me cook.

High pace, low fat, which kind of sums up all the rest of my business.

And you don't wash up. You're not allowed to wash up, right?

Why not?

You clean this place like it's not yours.

It's left to you for a reason. Just live in it.

Where did the floorboards go?

Everywhere I look there are personal belongings of somebody I've never met.

Things aren't always where I left them.

I don't believe in stuff like that.

It's like when you drop a pen and you reach down to pick it up, but it's not

there.

Days later, you find it in another room.

That's a brain thing. It's not ghosting.

It definitely happens around here.

A lot.

I know that sounds mad, but...

You just sound a bit mixed up, Gary.

Why shouldn't you?

No, no, my wallet.

Did you pick it up off the dressing table?

It was in my pocket. I saw it on the dressing table.

Sorry. Shit. Forget it. I'll stick it on my card.

You don't have to do that. I'm not going to drive all the way back for your

wallet.

Bet he's done that deliberately.

Mum got lonely.

Wanted me back.

So I had to give the flat up.

I didn't mind, but we should have just rented it out now.

This has only felt like my space since you turned up.

Hiya, Gary.

Hiya.

Before I forget, I'm looking for the furniture.

I trusted you with the set, you know.

Well, not odd. It's loud.

I can cope with that.

Mum?

Gary. Oh, God.

Where's the light?

The aura.

She talks like he's a saint. I'm looking for the aura.

Pleased to meet you, Maggie.

Oh, you don't know me well enough to call me Maggie. It's Margaret to you.

That's my fault I told him to call you that.

Rice, come in.

Cheers.

I love

Tina

She thinks like I do

I think like she does.

I don't know what else to say.

I think Gary said it all.

I'd just like to thank you all for the money rather than presents.

We didn't need furniture or whatever because we've already done that.

If nobody minds, I'm going to put all this towards John's hospice who looked

after Gary's dad.

Not that we don't need the money, it's just they need it more than us.

Thank you, everybody.

Leave me alone.

Tina, what's happened to you? If you don't leave me alone, I'm ringing the

police.

What, Tina?

I'm ringing the police.

Let me in. Open the front door.

Please. Let me in, Tina.

Let me in.

She's in there. She's hurt.

Tina. Come on, Dad.

Let's get outside and let us have a look.

No. What's she doing there? Someone's into her or something.

Tina. Come on, mate. Hey, get off me. Get off me.

Come on, Dad.

Come on, give it a rest. Get off.

Get him outside.

What about her? Get him to sit down and I'll get back to her.

Tina.

Just keep walking.

No. Get off me. Stop it. I'm telling you.

Listen to me! Calm down or you'll know where to go, all right? I'll sort it

Listen!

I'm telling you!

I haven't done anything!

I can't... I haven't done anything!

It's OK.

You can't touch her now.

We're going to get you to hospital and you'll be fine.

To what hospital?

Honestly, it's in your better interest to be seen by a doctor.

Even if all it means is to say that you've been seen by a doctor.

Yeah. Come on.

How could I?

I didn't finish work till everybody else did.

I drove straight home. Ask anybody.

Any witnesses?

Passengers? No.

Nobody lives where I do.

I drove straight home. It's a 20 -minute journey. I finish at five.

I got home at half five.

Check. That's 30 minutes.

There was an accident on the A34.

Check.

Why would he hit her? I love her.

Yeah?

I couldn't hit her.

I've never hit anybody.

I've never hit anybody.

Check. You'd better talk to your solicitor.

Am I being charged?

Not right now.

Have you got a solicitor?

Yeah. No.

No, not for this. For the house.

But can I just talk to her?

That's the last thing she wants.

Why? What's she saying?

She's with the police surgeon.

Can I go home?

Not if she needs to. It's my house.

That's something your solicitor will have to get involved with.

She's changed the bloody locks and it's my house.

And I'm sure that means everything to you, Gary.

Hey!

Dad, what's going on? Where's Maggie?

Turn around and walk out, pal.

Where's Maggie?

I just want to tell her I didn't do anything.

Wrong house.

There's no Maggie here.

Turn and walk.

Walk, or I'll hit you. Maggie lives here.

She lives here.

We live here.

And you're scaring my wife.

I won't ask again.

What are you doing?

We were on this earlier. We didn't bring your cleaner room. It's my cleaner

room. Give me the keys, love.

What's the alarm tone?

Oh, you shut it off?

We have eight zero.

We can change it when we've got it.

Right, we'll check inside first, all right? Come on, love, you're all right.

Stick with me.

Right, I'll go put you in here.

Yeah, I'll go in the middle one.

No, not in here.

It was him. One of the neighbours clocked him.

You can bring her in.

Is he a regular?

Nah, first timer.

How

long

is it going to take for your friend to arrive?

She was in a taxi already, so straight away.

You've got a blow coming round to board your window up.

Have you got money to pay?

Tina!

Tina!

Shirley, come with me.

What, are you friends or you work together or...? Never mind about me.

look at her? You lot are no use to dandering gum.

Hey! I'm going, I'm going.

I just need one thing.

What have you told him? Get him out of here.

She said her name was Maggie. She said that was her mum. He's half his face

you get him out of here. You're a liar.

You are a liar. Get out, Gary. Come on, get out.

If I did it, why have I not been charged? I'm going to be driving past

every ten minutes tonight. Why has she not pressed charges?

And if I so much as smell you, Gary, you're locked up. Because I didn't do

That woman in there, she told me it was her mum.

Gary, get in the car. I'll run you through her mates.

Piss off. I've got my own car.

Gary, stay here a sec till you've calmed down. Piss off.

Oh, my God.

Are you bleeding?

It's our garage.

Nothing. Oh, yeah.

Dad?

I thought you weren't calling me that these days. Leave it out.

I don't know.

I've no idea.

I had to get him out of bed.

She says she wants a full one by him back for the nuisance of it all.

I don't understand why this girl would come out with all this shit if you had

nothing to do with it.

That makes two of us.

I mean, was she attacked?

Could she have thought it was you?

I'm not being funny, Gary, but unless I've missed anything major, this sounds

like half a tale to me.

I'd do that to a woman.

You'd think I flipped and I don't remember.

Why would I not tell you if I knew more?

It's hard to judge. You only told us you were getting engaged two days before

the party.

Harry, Steve said, where's the harm in that? But we were very hurt, Gary.

So was Steve, truth be told.

Do you know where Steve's hanging out?

He's back here.

Manchester -based.

Delivering cars.

Odd hours, so just a bed.

It was nice to be that.

I know you think we hurt your big style.

It probably sounds childish to say quits, but... You know what I'm saying?

How's it going?

I don't answer that. I call Mum on the doorstep.

Jabbering ten to the dozen. She's a bit pissed, but I got the gist.

It's all right.

We'll talk about it tomorrow. Go back to sleep.

How come you didn't tell me you got a new job?

Well, you're never in.

I've got a mobile.

Oh, like we can only afford to be ringing mobiles up all the time.

So... Bust up with a bird?

A bit more than that.

OK. Bust up with a fiancée, then?

More than that.

Come on, then. Come on.

She's only just moved in.

She has receipts for furniture.

Which I paid her back for.

You jointly own the title deeds to the property?

No. It's in my name.

I inherited it. You told me I inherited it. But you signed Christina onto the

deed six months ago.

Who's Christina?

Chris. Tina.

I haven't even met her six months ago.

Is that your signature or not?

No.

You watched me sign that?

No, I don't handle conveyancing.

You did it through our Mrs Hayworth.

I didn't.

That's a very serious accusation. Could you ask Mrs Hayworth to step into my

office, please, immediately?

Gary, is it true that you've had psychiatric problems in the past?

No.

I got antidepressants prescribed 18 months ago for something...

Who said psychiatric?

Now, it's important that you are very honest with me. I need to build a case.

Why would I lie?

Who said psychiatric?

That's totally untrue.

I got the prescription stuff. I didn't even take it.

Who said it?

Oh, Mrs Hayworth, this is Gary Dugdale. You transferred his title deeds into

joint and aims six months ago.

Hello again.

You've never met me.

Have you?

I'm not sure.

What's going on?

I'm not sure, but I think we'd better all take a seat and... You're sacked.

I'm going to sue the arse off you.

No,

you don't. Piss off.

I came to apologise.

Fine. Piss off. I made a mistake. I scared you and your wife, and I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

But I have been in the house before.

Tuesday, 18th of Feb. My girlfriend brought me here to meet a woman she said

her mum.

Fuck you.

No.

She said she was called Maggie, but her real name's Shirley.

Shirley had you in here?

Tuesday, 18th of Feb.

When we were in Spain, you best come in. What does he want?

Your bloody auntie Shirley's caused this. Tell her what you just told me.

It's me. Open up.

Now! How come me?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Tony, didn't you flip me out of the telephone directory?

You could go to prison for what you... Look, you're a nice fella.

It's not personal.

He's bad.

Hiya.

You're in the bottom oven, love.

There's no red cabbage left.

Absolutely.

I love the not ideal circumstances, Gary, but I think it's nice having us

under the same roof.

Your dad thinks so, too.

It's been a hard year for all of us, Gary, but I think we're stronger than to

let a thing like this come between us.

Have you ever used the keys to my house?

What?

No!

Well, apart from when you had that telly delivered in the early days and I sat

in for you.

Not since, because you made it clear that we weren't.

Whatever.

You put the alarm code on the key rig. No, I haven't.

23rd of March, 2303. Yeah, yeah, I put 23rd of March, but not 2303.

I'm not daft, Gary.

Not on anybody else's? You're the only person we know with an alarm.

Well, Stephen's doing well for himself.

Aye, well.

He's sober and working, but she seems to think he deserves a medal for.

When did he start kipping here? Er, New Year. Well, off and on since October,

when he lost his flat.

What's he doing now?

I can't remember.

Ask him.

Nobody else knew I'd been on Prozac. I told you twice.

Talk to me now or you're dead.

What's going on?

Gary. Come on, Gary. Open up.

I'm not kidding.

Get off me.

They used their keys to get into my house.

Gary, just back off. Calm down.

You've been in my house.

You copied my signature.

You told them I'd seen a shrink. You're the only person who could have. What are

you talking about?

How do you know Tina?

I don't believe it! All right, all right!

I do, I just do.

Stephen, get out here, now!

She's a prostitute.

Is that how you met her?

You screwed her?

No.

I just offered her a deal.

She's a businesswoman.

Screw Gary and his big paid -for house and walk away with half of it.

It's dead easy. She's a good -looking girl.

She's clever.

And she's got the law on her side, so you won't win, you can't win.

It's my fault they inherited a house.

It's your fault you walked away.

What are you on about, walked away? From here!

This! Me!

See where I was. Oh, I knew where you were, Gary.

My arguments with Mum and Dad, not you.

I gave you five grand.

As soon as my dad's money came through, I gave you five grand, just like that,

you bastard.

Thank you.

Bike's outside if you want it back.

Twisted little shit.

You beat her up so she could blame me. Oh, I never touched her. I've seen her

face. No, Shirley did all that.

I tried to warn him. I said it was a bit over the top.

You know, I'm not fair on you if you ended up doing time for it.

They didn't trust me, obviously.

It wasn't my shout anymore. They'd got their eye on the prize.

And nobody, not me, not you, could do anything about that.

She'll get half the house through the court and more if you make her press

charges for assault.

They offered you a room.

Yeah, you did get it, yeah.

You could have lived rent -free.

Not interested.

I'd have flipped the house with you. Not interested.

I'd give you money.

Any money you asked for.

Definitely not interested.

What's going on? Gary?

Steve?

Paid for, Gary.

Finds out who his real dad is.

House in Didsbury.

Car, bank account.

We're hay.

Yeah?

No.

He goes and has a breakdown.

You make me sick.

Meanwhile, big non -Steve here is thinking.

Well, if they lied to Gary, that's the reason they lied to me.

I'm not theirs either.

But that pair... That pair of lying twats!

How dare I? Me believing for 24 years, 24 years, that I came

from, from normal trash.

Round here trash.

All the kind of freaks I tracked down, and I mean freaks.

That's where you left me, Gary.

Having to cope with all that.

But you were two of your own house to even ask about me.

They weren't mine.

No!

24 years!

That's all you did well, lie!

Shut up, Stephen.

You've got a home.

You've got a family.

Oh, thanks for that big effort.

When you came to us, you had two broken arms, Stephen. You couldn't feed

yourself for a year.

Why in God's name would anybody want to tell you that?

Well, I'm hiccuping in blame for everything.

I didn't think it would go this far.

You shouldn't be here.

That was my line.

Gareth changed his mind, Tina.

He'd rather go to court.

Fine by me.

Law's on my side.

Bits of it are.

Well, I never forged any signatures.

You can't back out. Well, that's what I'm saying. You're not the only one with

any evidence.

He's got the original, which you found by the bins, which are reported to the

police beginning of January.

So? So the original's got my prints on it. It's your problem, mate.

That police report predates you living here, or pretend living here.

It nearly worked.

I apologise.

Pack your bags, Tina.

No chance.

Now, come on, don't hiss about.

I'm ringing the phone.

I've

signed

an affidavit with this solicitor.

I'd make them the signatures of forgery.

Too many people know, Tina.

And they've got your prints on all the same documents, so...

Has he told you what a wanker he thinks you are, eh?

Which I can definitely testify to. I never met a broad like you. It was like

shagging a five -year -old.

You've no opinions of your own. You wait to be told what to think.

It's a mess, no, it isn't. Oh, OK.

I don't know how to cope with it. Yeah, you do. Oh, OK.

You're pathetic.

That's really rich coming from a prosaic.

You're dead for this.

Yeah? Good.

Good. It'll stop me being a big disappointment all round.

I mean, dead for this.

He says you can keep any engagement presses, by the way.

He can shove them up his arse. Might provoke a smile.

Welcome home.

How come you've not had any parking?

I'm on the back.

Are you sure about this?

What's he sure?

Come on, folks, we want to get back for the match.

They'll go through the front door, surely? I can't believe you haven't

your mind.

They're here now.

Come on, come inside.

Right. 30 seconds from walking in the door to shut it down.

I won't remember that number.

Any number you want, you can reprogram it. What, like four zeros?

Yeah. Yeah, if you really think.

I won't get through the door in 30 seconds.

I mean, I'm always carrying stuff.

Well, you're going to have to learn.

Right.

Come on.

You wouldn't like my choice of furniture.

My stuff's going to look awful in here.

Where is it? Are they bringing it through?

Ta -da!

No.

Why not?

No! Why not?

Well, someone might want that.

Burn it.

Burn it!

Get it all on, fat boy.