Original subtitles

Bye, Meg.

See ya.

See ya, mate.

Bye, John.

Hello, stranger.

There. Long time no see.

So, what's the score? Big job?

I thought it was, but... Someone's wedged.

Cool.

Thought so.

What's the damage?

Don't look like it.

Right, show's over.

Chop -chop, back to work.

Come on.

Matt wants you to have a look at the compressor.

What did I get?

It's not three months since it's had an overhaul.

I know.

I did it.

We got one of our lads, Brian Pringle, to give it the once -over, but it's

definitely not the electrics.

He's got to start thinking about a replacement. He knows that.

But it lost your number.

Are you sure?

Now?

It don't matter. Honest.

Actually, I lost my bottle.

Do you fancy a drink sometime?

Or a meal, maybe?

What do you like?

Italian? Chinese?

Indian.

When? Tonight.

You're on.

I'll pick you up.

Eight?

I'll meet you there. You might lose my address.

Shit. I just remembered.

That blue blouse. The new one's got stain down the front.

Well, don't look at me.

All mine's just rent -a -tent reject, isn't it?

I didn't say that.

I just mean, you've got a nice figure. You should show it off a bit. Instead of

wearing all them baggy tents.

I'll stick with me suit.

Tight round me arse, though.

I'll put me bum crunches on.

No shenanigans tonight.

One glimpse of my drawers, he'd run a mile.

Sylvia?

I've always wondered, did you and Steve do it on the first date?

No.

£25 in nearest offer. Can deliver.

You've not got time for that.

It's all me training, Dad.

I know.

Right, back about nine, half nine.

I'm stopping at that.

Just stick me tea in the oven, yeah?

Have to see to yourself. I'm going out.

Scott!

Oh, er, you mind?

No.

We took the picture of her from Rita's mum.

Crapping little pot.

She can walk to the beach in, what, six minutes.

We've not had this one long.

It's an eight -birth of this.

We bought it in the April.

She died in November.

I thought once was selling up, but in the end I hung on to it for the lads.

God knows why, cos they'd rather stop at home than go on holiday to Anglesey.

Look, we'll let the family use it.

Amazing, that. Oh, well, you may as well make a few, Bob.

Oh, don't charge them, cos it'll be sitting there whether or not.

Here we last in. I hadn't realised.

No, no, it's the least I can do after boring the backside off you.

Don't be daft.

Try and keep me mouth shut next time.

Salvation Army?

It's only in.

It's not since June. It's been a moonlight.

With the telly, the video, and my Nana's subbing ring before you ask.

Is that where he's gone?

What do you think?

I'll get it.

I'll get it.

Alex. Scott.

Bev.

Just about to burn the kitchen down.

Come in, have a drink.

So, Greg, how did you find yourself here today?

Hiya.

This has rocketed since you bought it.

It looks like.

This is nearly ready.

You'll have to give me the guided tour later.

Give the girl an Oscar.

Give the guy an oxygen mask.

Coffee? Tea?

Morning. Got the kettle on.

Stick another tea bag in for us, will you?

Should Dad take sugar?

So, where did your girlfriend live then?

Victoria Park.

Oh, she's miles out of your way.

It's all right. Is it right here?

Yeah, just drop me on the corner.

I'll take you home, John. No, really.

I've got to go to Paki's shop for milk.

Cheers. You're a star.

See you soon, I hope.

A what party?

Aloe vera. It's a what? You know, an herb.

Yeah, but... What do you do with it?

They put it in cream and things. I know that.

What, it's a face cream party?

Well, not just face cream, no. You know, we're... Self -woman of the year.

Don't go packing for the Caribbean just yet, Freed.

Wednesday night, what else did you be doing?

Oh, don't even bother asking this one.

She's never in these days.

You all right, son?

Looking very suave this morning.

Dad!

What? Is there any chance of a lift?

We're supposed to meet Nat at night.

Where?

Can't fiddle. She's on her own.

I'll just put these on a low light.

Won't be long.

Where are you going?

Give Alex a lift.

Why can't he get the bus?

It's no bother.

His girlfriend will be waiting.

Let's get my shoes on.

There's a 58, do you?

Is there?

Oh, if you go now, you'll catch it. Yeah, well, Natalie's expected me at

Well, you should have left earlier.

I was busy.

I'm just saying, if you'd left 20 minutes ago, your dad could have had his

in peace.

I don't hear him complaining.

Well, he won't, will you?

So what's your problem, then? I'm just saying, that's all.

What's up?

I was just thinking... Sticking her nose in.

Hey, you watch your lip, you.

You see, if my dad does have a problem, he lets me know about it. Pack it in.

Keeping out of this. Yeah.

I'll not tell you again.

What, just because she's shagging you, it don't mean she can order me about.

Alex!

Forget it.

Quiet tonight.

Going where?

Mrs Kelly's place got screwed last night.

They had to go up there, isn't all, but they'll have disturbed them.

Only kids, but I don't take any chances.

Come in.

No, I'm all right.

Just a quick check round.

Oh, Brendan, correct.

You need a lock on that kitchen window.

Yeah, I know.

I could pick you one up on Saturday.

It's a five -minute job, if that.

Right.

Night.

I'm sorry about, you know... Don't worry about him.

I'll ring you tomorrow.

What? Move in with me.

Beh.

Take the bloody chain off.

I miss you when you go home. Move in.

We've only been seeing each other five minutes.

And have you been happy?

I haven't been this happy for years.

What about the lads?

They're never in. Besides, it's my house.

Stay here.

We'll have a laugh.

Hiya.

What's all this?

I don't know.

Start having a clear out for Oxfam.

Oxfam not desperate.

Look at him.

Can't wait to get their hands on me knick -knacks.

Erm... I've asked Bev to move in.

And I've said yeah, in case you haven't guessed.

Come on.

I should have done your breakfast in bed, we're right.

He's taking the piss.

Sylvia, can you get me a new address?

There's the number. I won't bother giving you the email address.

Does that tuna smell right to you? Oh,

just have a sniff. It smells a bit fishy.

Yes. Right.

Just nipping up the office.

Tell Trudy, you know, I've moved.

Do you think she's moved house?

Lancashire was the big winner when the latest round of money was announced

to improve the most

He led Jamie.

He's serving in Kosovo.

You don't go to rush home and order a pizza.

I didn't fancy Chinese.

They are fancy.

Stonch. I don't know what you're complaining about. You didn't get old. I

big tea.

She always says this. You watch. She'll end up having about five chicken wings.

I'll end up with like one bite of a sausage.

I'm knackered. It's the cat one, that, eh?

Wow.

Wow.

Where did you just chuck it in a skip?

What? All my mum's stuff.

You know, I'm done with it.

What are you on about?

You fill a place full of crap. It's like Aladdin's bleeding cave in here.

It's in front of you.

I mean it. It's in my home as well.

Six weeks.

You'll be back in peasant crescent.

You snotty git.

If your dad could hear you. What's going on? Nothing. Nothing?

My dad's not stupid.

He's just better than this.

Yeah? Love's young dreamer, your mum?

Actually, yeah. Yeah, they did all right. Until they shut the bedroom door.

What? You're the intellectual.

It's got nothing to do with you. She wouldn't let him near her. Six years.

He only stayed around because she was sick.

Alex! You little shit.

I'd have more respect if you took it out on me face.

Leave it. Alex, just leave it. She's not worth it.

Alex! I can.

She's right. I'd end up tinning the bit.

He caught me a slag.

Little bastard.

He'd just come out.

They weren't happy.

Not for years.

Oh.

Val's going to kill me.

He'll kick me out.

He won't.

Well, he still...

He won't.

He will.

He should have kept me big mouth shut.

I'm sorry.

How could you do that?

That was private.

Between me and Rita. And me and you. I didn't mean to say it. Those boys

the world of them, mother. Yeah, I know they did. What gives you the right to go

and spoil them? People are like that.

Listen to me. Who else have you told? I bet it's the talk of the canteen.

Hang on.

The point. You don't want to lick them.

What are you doing?

Jumping because they're unpushed.

Don't worry. You get your case back.

I might be a slag, but I'm not a thief.

Bev. I've lost it, all right. I'm sorry. But I've had all that. The Lokes

telling me I'm a piece of shit. Hang about.

Throwing their weight around. This is Alex we're talking about.

It might have looked like trash to you. No. But I've had them a long time.

Most of them are from Jamie.

Cyprus.

Belize.

Blackpool.

And that was the first one he ever bought here on a school trip.

I always wondered if he'd lifted it. You never knew with him.

They might patch up. I'll have a go.

I mean, I'm not even into teapots. It's just, you know, a little thing we had

going.

All they ever do is take, the pair of them.

They're not tapping you for cash. They're dragging you out to taxi them

to B. They want to grow up.

They don't want to know about my sex life.

Don't, Bev.

Don't. I'm not trying to step into Rita's shoes. Nobody thinks you are. A

do. Well, they'll have to learn then, won't they? Wake up, Mal. Look at this

house. It's got research stamps all over it.

I put my pictures up, move things around a bit. It's like I'm trying to muscle

in.

We sleep in Rita's bed, for Christ's sake. I can't compete.

Bev, please.

I don't even want to try.

Hiya. Ready for that brew, lads?

What's going on?

What does it look like?

We thought we'd have a chippy tea. You don't mind, do you? Only we've been a

busy.

Well, mate, you didn't change, did you?

Like they'll be inside. Hey, some bath that was.

Cat's leg, more like.

Have I ever done it?

What's it show?

You look a million dollars.

If you don't go for this place, they won't eat you.

You all right?

I've never been a big fan of Artex myself.

Rita was though, wasn't she?

I don't know, was she? Oh, it's practically in every room in the house.

I mean, the bedroom ceiling's just... Oh, you know, when something's really in

your face.

I can't think I've ever seen the bedroom ceiling.

Or if she has, she's not letting on.

Well, she won't be seeing it again, let's put it that way.

You're seeing plenty of it then, are you? Yes.

Hey, Mal, you want to hear what she's saying about you?

What? I thought there was a spring in your step.

Hey, he's not complaining. Are you, love?

Well, what I'm saying is the game. It's not a game anymore.

Excuse me.

Hello. Honey, where are you?

Sunday 11th.

Should see him Sunday morning.

Mum's as well as Dad's giving it that.

Dogs abuse at the ref. People should support the kids, you know. That's not

support. It's not support.

Are you gorgeous?

I've come to give you a hand.

Oh, we're all right.

Here, you can have this.

I'm off to that ballroom without Big Noms hanging out.

Big Noms.

You happy?

You? I love you.

You know that, don't you?

Yeah.

No, but really.

That's your lot, folks.

Oh, talk about sure arms and long pockets. Every pound's a prisoner. All

all right.

Hey, come back to Alice.

We've got plenty of booze. Hey, look at him. He's just gone faint.

I've got an early start in the morning.

Oh, bollocks to that. Crack your face for once in your life.

Oh! Look who I've found!

What are you doing in?

He lives here.

You're a steady end. Well, attractive.

What, on a Saturday night?

Exam. Now, if you told me he was downloading porn off of that internet, I

couldn't understand it.

What are you going to do with him, eh?

Sue, haven't you got a daughter we can fix him up with?

Yeah,

I've got another one. Mum.

My Jamie was the opposite.

You couldn't keep him in overnight.

I wonder why.

Oh, come on, go on, let's have some dance music.

Oh, I know.

Teach us old ones how it's done, eh?

I thought you'd done enough dancing for all night.

What can I have for you?

I'll give you a hand. Come on, let's hear you upstairs.

Night doll.

Still speaking to me, then.

Not a

bad

club, that Legion.

Yeah? It's not long been done up.

You're only down the road, aren't you, Sylvia?

Not far.

She'll bring Steve down one night. You know,

they're a real friendly crowd.

And it could have gone the other way.

I felt like I'd known him all for years.

Yeah. I tell you what, we sank a few afternights of work.

But I woke up walking like John Wayne, so it must have ended up all right.

It went into a skid and the wheels locked. The car was a right off the bat.

Very, very late.

I still can't place who you're talking about. Went to that new retailing on

Dalton Street. Very nice.

Was it?

You threw in that lighting shop on Church Road. Twin girls.

Blonde. That's the one.

Who's this you're talking about?

Hey, great crack last night.

Your missus got an awful lay on a good spread.

She has her uses, you know.

I tell you what, though, my head this morning was banging.

What was in that trifle?

Mooch, right?

And this clown, grafting on a Friday night.

I hope it was worth it, you grasping, yet.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

I'm going to mix up here.

She was supposed to ring you.

Well, we couldn't have made it anyway.

Bev was out with some of her mates from work.

Far Street, please. Up Ash Road.

You know how he said two words when she got here?

Sue and John had a do last night, a meal or something.

Molly and Charlie were there.

Oh.

Some sort of mix -up, apparently.

They were supposed to ring, as John said.

Except they told Charlie I was working.

Turn around, please.

Take no notice.

Turn round.

You're not going back in there. You watch me. I mean it.

You're not going back.

Just leave it.

What's that got to do with anything?

I tell you now, they're finished as far as I'm concerned. Give it a rest now,

will you?

I thought you were having an early night.

There was a good film on.

I'm going up.

What are you doing, Dad?

Don't start, son. I've had it up to here.

Do you think me mum would have liked her?

What kind of a bloody stupid question's that? I'm asking. Your mother's dead.

I'm still here.

She's taken ten years off me.

She makes me laugh.

She listens.

We listen.

Dad... You know what we think of you.

You're never here.

Is that it?

Did you know your dad could walk on his own?

Tells a really good joke.

Just the one.

And he's fantastic in the sack.

Oh, tell your nose before you like.

I wish I'd met him years ago.

He deserves a life and all, you know.

It's getting to you, all this.

They'll all blow over.

That's families for you.

Not my family.

Any families with teenagers in.

End of the world one minute and all smiles the next.

It goes with the territory.

They're not kids, Bev, they're adults.

They're all I've got.

You got me?

No, family I've got.

How late?

Three weeks.

You've got time, haven't you?

Hey, Julie!

What the dick? You!

What are you reading?

A magazine.

Is there room here?

I don't know if I can face this. Well, it looks a bit ropey.

Look, you've got to eat, haven't you?

Have? Yeah, you should.

You may as well tell her.

I'm pregnant.

Never. What was that?

Bev's pregnant.

Nice one, June.

You're kidding.

Oh, don't look so amazed. I'm not that old.

Well, I hear about 43.

38? Just?

Well, that's no age these days.

Well, I don't envy her. Look at our Lillian. She was 46.

Good cat.

Little fella come out with six toes on one foot. Brady?

He's a smashing little swimmer.

What I don't get is, how did it happen?

Oh, have a word, will you?

No, I don't mean...

You know what I mean.

Cheers.

I need it.

So when are you going to tell Mal?

Maybe I should just get rid of it and not tell him.

You sure we won't want it?

No, I'm pretty sure I don't.

A baby at my age.

I thought you were on the pill.

I was.

I am.

These things happen.

You just never think it's going to happen to you.

Sorry.

Just got smacked.

Being a dad again after all these years.

Takes some getting used to.

Not if I get rid of it.

The sooner the better.

Then you can get back to normal.

Should you be doing that?

a really big decision.

We shouldn't rule anything out, not yet.

Smelling nappies?

Walking the floor at four in the morning?

Screaming, crying?

That'd just be me.

We've done all that, we both have.

We don't want to do it all again.

You owe me one.

They reckon it keeps you young.

It wouldn't be like the first time when you didn't know its head from its tail.

We'd be more confident. We'd be more knackered.

I would share more.

I hardly did tap for my two.

I gave them a bottle but I never changed their nappies. I never bathed them.

It'd be much easier this time round.

You'll feel trapped.

People will say things.

Start eating away, you know. Did she do it on purpose?

I can't go through all that again.

I'm not going to dump you.

Bev, I'm not going to dump you.

Oh, hiya. Oh, she's been OK today, a bit peaky, but OK.

Oh, you're getting on the phone?

Yeah. I'm honoured.

Who have you told the girls?

Oh, only some of them.

Does that mean... No.

Nothing's changed, Mal.

2 -0, I reckon.

Sod it.

I was going to wait till we got home.

Yeah.

Will you marry me, babe?

You know what this is?

Oh, it's classy.

It must have cost you a fortune.

I can't believe you got me ring size right.

We're going to regret this years to come. I don't mean that.

I just mean doing it in the car park.

I should have waited till I got you on my own. No, that's you.

It's perfect.

So now we've got to decide when.

Before the baby?

Right, look fat on the photos.

Natalie wants to know, can she do anything?

Drink her beer and keep you out from under our feet.

We're ready in five minutes, Dylan.

Thanks.

What's all this in there, Dylan?

Why do you always have to be so cynical?

Maybe she just wants to build a few bridges.

Dream on.

Hey, Mavis, what is moving in that hill off there?

Yeah, hilarious.

Jamie. He's in strange ways.

She got a birthday card off him, you know. But he can, right, then.

Oh, yeah, and that lot.

Not nice in our living room, that.

No. And remember, it's my living room.

Got me ripped flat.

We got the nibbles.

I hope you're hungry after all this.

I could eat a scabby head in half.

You've tried Bev's cooking, then. Hey, I heard that.

Pushing the boat out.

Well, we've, er...

Got a little announcement.

We're getting married.

Oh.

Oh, and that's not all.

You're going to have a little brother or a sister.

You dickhead.

Alex, leave it. What is your problem, Dad?

Not the letter about the birds and the bees.

I fear that your head's just pulling you by a plonker, man.

Do you not think I've got a mind of my own? Do you really want me to answer

that?

She's dead right. You're a cocky little toe rag, you, when you want to be. Oh,

well, if she says it, it must be right then, mustn't it?

Go, then, if that's what you're going to be like.

Oh, come here, I'm sorry.

If they were girls, I could understand it. You know, girls and their mums, it's

special, isn't it?

It's got nothing to do with me mum.

It's not mum, it's her.

Mel? It's so obvious, bloke, she's that. You don't get pregnant by accident.

Stop it! For God's sake, stop it now!

She's done this! Go on, get out!

You're as bad as your brother.

Let's get something straight, shall we?

You don't like me? Fine.

You're not marrying me.

All you've got to do is pass me on the stairs if you want to stay in this

So, we'll start again then, shall we?

What do you want for breakfast?

Phil?

Please.

It's all right, Mal.

Really. It's alright.

Right. Who's having what?

Same again.

I'm mate. I'll give you a lift.

No, honestly, I love it. Love the colour.

It's just a shame it's got to go back.

It's a 16.

Yeah. Well, I'm only a 12.

You what?

A lot of people make that mistake, but I'm deceptive. I've got a very narrow

back.

You're not getting away tonight, are you?

You want to be careful.

What?

What?

Nothing.

What's so funny?

I can't tell you. It's a secret.

I'm not.

You're not what?

You're not pregnant?

I just said that.

You're having me on.

Tell me you're having fun.

Well, this will cheer you up. It's your shout.

They immerse you in coke, vodka and tonic and... Orange juice.

Orange juice.

Please.

Why?

Why what?

Why what?

Why do you lie about something as big as that?

You know what fellas are like.

No.

Look, trundle along, same old groove. For years he'd let them.

Sometimes he needs a little nudge.

Well, it worked, didn't it? 24 carat proof.

But Mal's a really nice bloke.

Yeah, and I want to hang on to him. By lying?

Oh, like you never told the odd porky? Odd porky?

This is a baby we're talking about.

Don't you think you might know if he's nine months down the line?

You'll get arrested carrying on like that.

Come on, get in, Julie.

I'm fine, I'll get a taxi.

How are we on here?

Well, if the opposite direction... Get in!

You haven't got time?

Yeah.

Nick,

go up the chippy.

Can I ring the doctors?

No.

There's nothing I can put my finger on.

Morning sickness, probably.

Because I can take the day off work. No.

I'll go back to bed for a bit.

I'll be fine.

You've got my mobile number?

Yeah, stop worrying.

I'll be late.

Go on, then. Get yourself off to bed.

Well, can you get it for us?

Is that you, Bev?

Everything all right?

Mal?

What's up?

She's at the hospital.

Bev?

What are you doing?

Do you want to go home? What happened?

What did the doctor say?

Just get me away from this place.

But we want the baby.

Thanks, Scott.

I got you these, in case you were bored like.

Thanks, love.

Um, I'm really sorry.

Why don't you put them in water, Tom?

He's a good kid, isn't he?

Hey.

Hey, come on.

What's up?

What's up?

You're not going to want me anymore.

Bev. More.

Collection for Bev. We're going to send her some flowers or something.

I've not got my purse.

Would you want me to put a couple of quid in for you?

Use yourself.

More of that later.

But first, I'd better tell you.

This week, I've been to Altrincham for bedding. All right.

What's this?

Read it.

Oh, sure.

Well?

10th to 24th of February.

Get the time off, sort it quick. We're in lumber if somebody else has booked it

first. We can't have a wedding without a bride.

Wedding?

I tell you what, she's landed on her feet here. Have you seen the upstairs?

Go and have a nose, I'll mind your glass.

Bathroom's second on your left.

Ladies and gentlemen, no big speeches.

My fiancée and I would just like to thank you for all the presents and cards

good wishes.

But most of all, for your support.

It's times like these you find out who your real mates are.

And, well, they're all here.

Have a drink.

Raid the buffet.

Bev will be doing the rounds with the wedding list.

That were a joke, by the way.

The only present I want standing right next to me.

For the rest of my life, I hope.

So, ladies and gentlemen, friends and family,

raise your glasses, please, to Bev.

Bev.

Cheers, everyone.