Original subtitles

I love you.

Thank you.

Isn't that Sonia Morris?

I don't know.

I don't think I know her.

Good.

I think it's disgraceful. What is? That bloody little man, that landlord.

Linton. Oh, God, him.

Seventy -year lease, see? It's expired.

That's not relevant.

He still has no authority to chuck you out.

No, he's threatening us with all sorts.

Delicitors, bailiffs.

You mean he's intimidating you.

This is unbelievable.

Have you got the letter he put for your door?

Well, no, it's at home.

Would you mind if I look at it?

Not at all, no.

I'd be interested to know what you thought.

Nothing cheers Toy up like finding a new black -hearted capitalist oppressor

that needs his teeth kicked in.

If it keeps their mind off Stan Obanko, then I'm all for it. Now, where's

Stephen? Probably still in bed.

Well, if you find him, would you tell him I'd like to speak to him?

OK.

I'll just, um... Right.

Stephen?

Stephen?

You little monkey.

Lovely day for shopping.

It's a Saturday, shops are closed.

Life's too short to worry about all that.

Cigarette? No, thank you.

Mind if I do?

Yes.

A plea of mitigation from a third party without an appointment on a Sunday. It's

all very irregular.

Harassment.

Mr Linton.

The formal note is a repossession.

The freehold of Morris's property is my property.

I want the place back, and I'm having it.

I think it's time to seek legal advice, Colin.

Save you money.

Take it from me.

The law is not on your side.

Edmund Linton, LLB, darling.

It means I'm also a solicitor.

In my spare time.

You know what I think, Mr Linden? What?

I think if you call me darling one more time, I'm going to stuff that cigarette

right up your nose.

Are you sure you want to buy a place here?

The natives drone on a bit, but they seem quite friendly, no?

I don't know.

I've lived here for 12 years. I still feel like an imposter.

I think it's chug along all right, but there's always this feeling that one day

somebody's going to tap me on the shoulder and say, sorry, Nichols, but

never really made a go of it here, did you?

School, I suppose.

Spend your whole life waiting to get caught out.

Tell me.

Yes, you can. Come on, Gavin. What's the matter?

Talk to me.

I've developed a fascination for a girl in the village.

What are you doing about it?

Sleeping with her.

Does Penny know? No.

No, no, no.

Robert does.

I see.

He said, basically, Christ, he said, basically, finish it now or lose the

house, family, everything.

That's fair.

What am I going to do?

Make the actions fit the words.

I've told Robert I've finished with the girl.

As words go, they sound all right to me.

Oh, where are you hiding, you naughty little clodotary?

Stop teasing.

Ah -ha.

There you are.

A moment's variance among the burgundies, my lord. I thought it

at the time.

It's quite a collection.

Oh, it's chaos.

Labels rot, you see, and then they drop off.

You were looking for me, yeah?

Yes, I was, wasn't I?

Cheers. Cheers.

I sometimes hide down here.

Not that there's anything to hide from.

It's just, um, I enjoy the hiding.

Stephen, I've done something rather dreadful.

Oh?

My son's return brought with it a complication, a financial complication.

It was necessary for me to find, very quickly, a large amount of cash to sort

him out.

Awkward for you?

It's a terrible situation, Stephen, and I find myself completely at a loss to

justify what I did.

I took your money from the safe.

All of it, more or less.

It was an action I would not have believed possible myself, and I

sincerely for betraying your trust in me.

Congratulations.

What? You're learning.

A brilliant stroke of management initiative. Total instinct, no debate.

what you want, then pay for it.

Well done.

Mmm, yummy.

But how shall I repay you?

Well, shares, I think, don't you?

I hear Douglas Motors is on the up.

Ten grand's worth of that can't be bad.

Just what my housemaster used to do, stick his head round the door and then

knock.

Sorry.

Everything just as you left it?

Trim, sir.

Uh, yeah.

Yes, thank you.

Good, good.

Must be odd, coming back here after what you've been through.

I don't find it odd.

Listen.

There's a great deal you and I have to discuss.

A great deal.

But I think we both of us need time to adjust the situation

and get to know each other a bit before we start

ransacking each other for the truth.

In the months after your mother died, I changed.

How? Well, it got to the stage, I found, where I simply got bored walking

into rooms and people panicking to change the conversation without me

So I started to hunt out the anesthetics. A few drinks after

lunch.

Too much time with my head down the front end of a leopard.

Anything, anything to avoid having to deal with people.

Ollie.

What?

Aren't you a complex individual these days?

You've got two sides to you.

Right, well, let's talk about something concrete.

You owe me a great deal of money. What are you going to do about it?

I thought I could pay it off by working for the company.

I've still got a suit downstairs. I've looked.

Don't need a suit.

He is weird.

I know.

Have you spoken to him yet? I've listened to him.

I don't think Daddy's even spoken to him. Not properly.

By the way, good luck on the 28th. Cheers.

Sorry, Stephen, it was very wicked of me.

Are you in the habit of searching through my private correspondence?

He's the senior executive of a car company who hasn't even passed his

test. I have, as a matter of fact, passed my driving test, thank you very

Where did you take it?

Afghanistan?

Kuwait.

Listen, you won't bother your father with your discovery, will you?

about it.

I think this means you're going to rape me.

Sorry?

Well, otherwise you would have not.

Victoria, I'm sorry.

I was dreaming.

Would you kindly go and dream somewhere else?

Of course, sorry.

Hello?

It's me.

You're in bed.

Who says, Victoria Douglas?

First thing you say when you wake up, what's the time?

What's the purpose of this call, Stephen? I thought I told you I didn't

hear from you again.

I want to know what you're wearing.

What? Tell me what you're wearing.

What do you think I'm wearing? I'm in bed. I'm not wearing anything.

Tell me about it.

I think you just want me to talk dirty at you down the phone.

Joe, how can you say that?

Go on, then.

Sleep.

Jimmy Blake.

In black suspenders.

Rattling silk on his inner thighs.

Can't say it's doing much for me.

You're not using your imagination.

I am. That's the problem.

What the hell was that?

That means the time's up, Buster. Put the next pervert on the line.

You're going somewhere.

The woman of mystery, me.

I thought you weren't going to speak to me ever again.

I'm not.

Hang up, then.

That bloody watch.

Take it off.

Okay.

Victoria?

Marvin.

Bunnyfoot. My mother always insisted I take it with me into exams, for luck.

And look what happened to me.

What can I say? It's revolting.

Thank you.

I'm touched.

Runs in the family, I hear.

What are you up to?

Getting these guys away.

Bored with them.

Do you mind?

No, not at all. It's your room.

Listen, I've had a thought.

Weekend afternoon. It's your birthday.

Yeah.

21?

Yeah.

Fancy a party?

Hmm.

I'd love a party, Dad.

On one condition.

I haven't picked this damn thing up since your mother died.

Ambrose has all gone to buggery.

The pup's still there.

Daddy, what's this all about?

I made Jamie a promise.

The examining tribunal, Mr Douglas, comprises fellows of diverse faculties

have been required to acquaint themselves with your subject.

sufficiently to engage in competent discussion.

Do you have any questions?

No. Dr. Fischer. The enigma of mass extinction,

the demise of the dinosaur, the arena of debate is crowded.

Mr. Douglas Lyle, Murchison, Alvarez, Stanhope, what precisely

do you feel?

has been your contribution.

I established the first proof of a meteorite impact that coincided with the

extinction.

I identified the stichovite.

The stichovite?

Page 7, paragraph 2.

Ah, yes.

Dr. Stanhope gave me the rocks.

I identified the stichovite.

It was my research and my discovery.

Bamford Law.

Dr. Stanhope gave you the rocks?

Effectively, yes.

He collected them in Mahabaleshwar in 1979.

They sat in a drawer for ten years, and then he passed them on to me as research

material. With what instructions?

To do with them as I pleased.

I analysed the samples and incorporated my findings into my defil thesis.

This is the information that he stole.

A provocative assessment, Miss Douglas.

The rocks were, after all, Dr. Stanhope's property.

He found them.

Any fool can find rocks.

It takes diligent research to understand the meaning of what you've found.

I discovered a mineral that Stanhope hadn't even bothered to look for.

My problem here is a suspension of disbelief.

Is it possible...

that a geologist who has spent 20 years investigating the pre -Cretaceous

basement of the Indian subcontinent should not once check or instruct his

to check for stichivite?

I received no such instruction from Dr. Stanhope.

So, on your own initiative, you tested for it. On your own initiative, you told

Dr. Stanhope that you had found it.

Yes.

In what circumstances?

Excuse me?

Where did you tell Dr. Stanhope?

In common room? On a bus?

At my rooms?

At your rooms?

One hesitates to bring this up, but regrettably it is not ungermane.

We are aware of the developments in your relationship with Dr. Stanhope. Which

are completely irrelevant.

And are perhaps anxious.

That there might be an element of personal chagrin in your allegation?

No. It is purely a question of intellectual property.

To put it bluntly, Miss Douglas, pillow talk is not intellectual property, nor

is initiating a sexual liaison with her supervisor any way for a woman to

advance her academic career.

You did what?

They had their chance. They blew it.

So what next?

Answer it on a postcard.

I don't know.

What do you do with a half -cocked doctorate in geology?

Bastard. I'm certainly asking.

What? Oh.

Linton.

I thought perhaps it might be.

What have I got for you to drink?

What a particularly ignorant thing to wonder.

Do you want us to finish off the sour note?

I think you'll find the odd word out there is finish.

I had my quota of patronising fascists this morning.

I'll go talk to Pritchie.

Oh, women.

You can't join them.

Beat them.

Oh,

that was brilliant.

Quiet, quiet, everybody. Listen to this. This is brilliant.

Say it again.

You know what Lincoln's going to do, don't you?

He's going to sell off Ferry Lane to Disneyland or something.

Ferry Lane?

Where Colin lives.

He wants to turn this village into a theme park.

All cheeseburgers and killer whales.

It's true.

He isn't making any secret about it.

Well, it's better than tower blocks.

No, wrong.

Not better than tower blocks. People can live in tower blocks. No, they can't.

Are you being willfully mysterious so that will pass to you?

Looks like it.

So what are you going to do about Linton?

You've already lost one fight today. You don't want to screw up another one.

I don't want to buy a house in Toy Town, do I?

Bad investment.

Are you deliberately trying to provoke me?

Yeah.

Jamie?

You got a minute, have you?

Listen, long story short, it looks like I'll be moving out of Ferry Lane in a

little while.

I'm trying to unload a bunch of junk that I don't think you want to take with

me.

Cluck.

I'll be moving somewhere smaller, see?

Thought you might have a use for this.

It's your paper, though.

It's not your paper, eh?

Well, why not? It's your birthday, isn't it?

I assume this means you're going to rape me.

Get dressed.

I've had an idea.

Look, if you don't want a part of this... I didn't say that.

I just thought you'd be interested in the side effects, i .e., you get a cheap

house.

You just thought you couldn't manage it on your own.

Oh, God, it's a macho thing now, is it? I have to say I can't do it without you,

or you won't help me. I'll help you. What?

It's a good idea. I'll help you.

If you want me to.

Quite frankly, I don't want you to. But the fact is, I can't do it without you.

There, I've said it.

This kind of thing is very dangerous.

I can do it without you if you're going to patronise me.

Rumour. What?

That's all we need.

Now, all we've got to do is build a little house of cards.

What do you mean, house of cards? What does that mean exactly?

I have set up a company called JXB Properties.

That's Jimmy's initials. Yes, I know.

Oh, it's a scam, isn't it? Oh, God, my tummy's gone all peculiar just thinking

about it.

JXB Properties is going to buy a piece of land round Upper Stoneley then dump a

bunch of toxic waste on it.

Really? No.

But this is the story I'm circulating.

See, I have to scare off a bogeyman.

He wants to turn the village into an amusement park.

Not nice.

Ah.

It's a favour for a friend.

Well, obviously.

What's her name?

Not telling.

Is she worth it?

Yes.

Yeah, very much so.

All right, then.

I love you, Vanessa.

I know.

What do you want me to do?

Answer the telephone.

This is JXB Properties, isn't it?

I've had some really nice paper printed with your address on it.

Sometimes I think we're overcome.

I'm late. Sorry.

That has at least the merit of being indisputably true.

Michael Coley, Piers Garfield Ward.

Hello.

Present from my nephew.

Unnaturally vulgar.

Yes, they're good, aren't they? I gave one to my little boy for Christmas.

A drink, Michael.

Oh, Jimmy Mustache. I just popped in, really, to make a small observation.

One director to another.

Of course.

About Douglas Motors.

Ah, well, I'm not exactly au fait, Michael.

I think Pears is your man here.

Oh, so you're responsible for the Douglas investment?

Yes.

Well, then I must congratulate you.

There's a little feature on the company in today's FT. Sounds like it's going

great, Guns.

Yes, it's coming round.

Slowly but surely.

Good.

Okey -dokey, then.

I'm off.

Keep up the good work.

Piers... what is it?

Garfield Ward, sir.

Oh, yes.

Garfield Ward.

Golden touch as ever, shall we?

Aye.

If that fatuous expression is supposed to convince me you're not gloating,

Piers... I'm not gloating. I nearly died of fright.

Yes. It only takes one person.

Obviously. To let to Franklin that we pumped Douglas full of money. Yes,

Thank you.

I am cognizant.

You don't suppose Crane has made any connection, do you? Exactly. I don't

It's a possibility.

If he ever finds out, it'll be all over the streets like a madwoman's excrement.

Are he and the listen, Joanna, still in communication?

Vaguely.

Wretched child has all the naughty information he would need.

I think it's time I sent Stephen an invitation.

Ah, Miss Douglas.

I've done the crow.

What?

Nothing.

Greetings from a social disease.

What's this?

I found the perfect place.

Corker. A big piece of wasteland.

We're going to see it this afternoon.

No.

What do you mean, no?

I've booked the agent.

You can't look at big pieces of wasteland on the afternoon of the 28th.

You have a more pressing engagement?

Yep. This?

No, not that. Much more important than that.

Cancel it. Can't.

Cancel it. It's already a cancellation. If I cancel it, I won't get another one.

Whatever it is, Dean, get someone else to do it.

Oh, dear, Lunchbox.

It must be time for that favour.

Will you read me the number plate on that car, please, Mr Crane?

What car?

Hey!

I'm only joking.

E824JNR.

Come on, then. Let's go for a burn.

Impermeable clay -based sink line.

I love it.

Yes, we're very interested in this location.

Very interested indeed.

I think we're up on the curb again, aren't we?

One more go, Mr Crane, in your own time.

Right, relax.

Relax? Mm -mm.

Remember to put me seatbelt on.

Yeah. Sure the fault happens.

Sorry? Well, he's gone like that bump on the window screen, right? And I thought

he was an old scapegoat. I didn't know he wanted me to do a bleeding emergency

to stop, did I?

Sorry, Stevie.

Never mind toolbox.

Lunchbox. Better luck next time, eh?

You've started, so you'll finish.

I'm having a Manhattan, Stephen.

Would you care for something more amusing?

No?

A beautiful girl, Jimmy.

Is she?

What, beautiful or a girl?

You're quite right, of course.

I do like to surround myself with pretty things.

Just sleep with her.

Dear boy, I never sleep.

I'm jolly grateful that you found the time to pop in.

I wouldn't wrap a dead dog in your gratitude, Jimmy. Let's be sensible.

Brace yourself, Pierce.

Stephen is about to have an attack of candour.

I have some information that you need.

You have to fish for it without me guessing what it is.

I'd say three minutes was a reasonable amount of time for the whole exercise.

Starting now.

You're very good health, Stephen.

Oh, it's been too long.

One minute.

My attentions, dear Hart, are entirely beneficent.

As principal investor in Douglas Motors, I'm merely curious to know whether or

not you've been circled by any professional scavengers.

Like Franklin?

Perhaps not the same calibre as Franklin, but that sort of thing,

yes.

No.

Time's up.

Splendid. Well, thank you, Stephen.

That's been most illuminating.

So it has.

Do it You do it Rule number one never delegate in the crisis.

It confuses the truth

News desk, please.

Stupid bastard machine!

Is it absolutely necessary to use that kind

of language in front of the children? I can't get the bloody thing to go.

Well, shouldn't you be at work or something, like normal people?

There isn't anything for me to do at work at the moment.

Well, thereby hangs the tale.

Kevin, can I come in without a tie?

In this case, the management will make an exception.

Thanks.

Why is it on?

Oh, I don't know.

Perhaps I don't like parties.

Perhaps.

I notice Stephen's been sniffing around you quite a bit.

The thing about Stephen is that he gets things done.

He makes things happen.

And I don't, do I?

What do you mean?

I don't make things happen.

Hypothetical situation.

Okay.

Okay.

Supposing a man, Victoria, felt left out,

felt that he was failing to participate even in his own life.

And this man knew of a specific action that he could take that would be

guaranteed to change that feeling.

Wouldn't it be irresponsible of him not to take it?

Tell me the truth.

Telling the truth is the action.

Gavin, don't make me responsible for something I don't understand.

I just sent Richard to find you.

Where did you go to?

All in a huff.

Sourpuss.

Sorry I snarled.

Tom, go and play in the garden, will you? There's a good chat. I don't want

play in the garden. Just get out of here!

Sit down.

Fish fingers are nearly ready.

Forget the fish fingers. Fingers? The fish fingers are not important. I said

down. Put them in the oven, then.

Oh, God, please, Gavin.

This is important.

I don't care how important it is. It's just childish and a waste of food.

Gavin, you're hurting me.

I'm having an affair.

So am I.

Are you going to hit me again?

I have not hit you. Who with?

Stephen.

Oh, my God!

Are you OK?

No, I'm not bloody OK.

They're going to put a bloody toxic dump two miles up the road.

Oh no.

It's over, isn't it?

Good nosh, Jamie.

Yeah, where's the chef?

Putting her face on.

Well, get that in it, I want a boozy!

I'd just like to say, on behalf of Jamie, welcome, thank you for coming,

hope you enjoy the party.

Also, on behalf of me, a one -line party political broadcast.

There will be no toxic waste dump in Upper Stonelay!

I foresee a long and arduous campaign of argument and

some civil disobedience, but...

We will never, never let them get away with it.

So, enough of warmongering.

Tonight, let the good times roll.

Hit it, pick up!

You're terrible.

There's no alternative.

Yeah. It doesn't make it any easier.

Let's go and get the next door.

I have finished it with Sonia.

Who's Sonia?

Sonia Morris.

I have been having an affair with Sonia Morris.

Oh. But it's finished now. That's what I'm saying. And I would like you,

please, to finish it with Stephen.

I think it's finished.

I never slept with Stephen.

I made it up.

I wanted to hurt you.

You knew about Sonia, though, didn't you?

As a matter of fact, I didn't know about Sonia, no.

You did that one rather cleverly.

What do you mean?

Alison I, of course, knew about.

Babysitter. Claire.

Sarah, with an H.

Sarah, without an H.

Amanda Carter.

Oh, and there was one other one.

Patricia Dewhurst.

She was first.

Or was she?

You knew.

Of course I knew.

Pathetic liar.

One of the reasons I married you.

I'd always know exactly what was going on.

More fool me.

Can you forgive me?

Yes, I can forgive you.

I don't think there was any more to it than just sex, although I don't suppose

you were aware of that.

But what I cannot forgive is that you married me because I'm Victoria's

I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh.

It's funny, really.

What are you talking about?

You love Victoria, Gavin.

You always, always have done. You're just too stupid to work it out.

She'll never be interested in you.

So I'm the nearest you can bloody get.

Is it any wonder that I have no self -respect?

I don't know who I am.

I make your breakfast for you.

I make your babies for you.

I look in the mirror.

I can't see me anymore.

What does the X stand for?

Hmm?

J -X -B.

Xavier.

What?

James Xavier Blake.

You're joking.

No, I think it's his parents who were joking.

I always thought you spelt it with a Z.

Oh, what have we started, Stephen Crane? Stay cool.

Hang loose.

Admit nothing.

Rule number one. The gospel according to Saint Stephen.

I suppose I think you're going to kiss

me.

Gavin, it's all right.

Gavin, come on.

It's all right, Gavin.

It's all right.

It's all right, mate.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Strictly business, Stephen.

Okay?

Strictly business.

How are you feeling?

Good, that's good.

Stephen, I'm going away for a bit.

Don't do anything silly, eh?

I seem to have done that already.

Will you look after Penny for me while I go?

The power of the service.

The power of the service.