Original subtitles

I think you will, Miss Jamie.

Morning, Victoria.

Morning.

Please? Yes, please.

Listen, darling.

Why don't you stay home, relax, and sort it out with Tony next week, hmm?

Relax?

A little bit, though.

Oh, man, I have to go back.

I don't care if somebody's head off about this. I'm going insane.

Such a civilized place, Oxford.

Bloody hell, I thought it was water from there.

Well, if you only sit down pulling frauds to help his company. A whingsy

fraud let.

Half a million pounds?

I wish I'd seen it. I wish I hadn't.

What's that?

Lunchbox, yeah.

Terrific sense of humour.

He's going to need it.

Good morning, Madam Stallman.

The old lunchbox.

Where's the bath nut?

It's chaos here. No organisation.

How am I supposed to nick him? What do you want him for? Top left.

Got him. Lint and smart.

Again? Deal with.

It'd be cheaper for him to buy a new bloody car.

Eh.

Moves can play them.

Hello.

Wouldn't it be easy if I came in?

I prescribe shocking.

The British hate a fuss.

If you keep it up for long enough, they're bound to give you them.

Sorry?

Tony Stanhope.

Using Troy's research.

Oh.

You're going to see each other today?

Wrong question, if you would say.

The course of true love... Closed for road work.

Permanently.

I'll phone you this afternoon, after I've spoken to Professor Garfet.

Good luck with the shouting.

Eagerness. That's what I admire about you, Stephen.

I'm psyching myself up for Fitchford.

Today, the Inquisition swoops on the Accounts Department.

I wonder what Peter will feel about that.

Crane's law, rule number one.

Never tell Fitchford anything.

Then he can't argue about it.

Busy today, Peter?

What's that?

Today I thought we'd go through the accounts for the past five years

then get Lorraine to put them on there.

Proper invoicing, stock control, cash flow, etc.

The usual.

Starting today.

Why wasn't I told?

Because I didn't want to worry you.

There's a word for this, son.

Accountancy.

And my brother said, no, silly, it's a paperweight. Oh, he's crying.

We go there every year. They pay a bit more, but the food's worth it.

They always remember your name.

And they don't switch the lights off and sing happy birthday. Marcus, you

bastard.

Happy birthday, Lorraine.

Stevie.

I sorted out a death for you.

And I hope you'll be comfortable.

What's the matter, Robert? Don't you trust me? I trust everyone.

It's pathetic risking our jobs for a bit of pocket money.

And prison, Joe. You've got prison.

Look, stop panicking.

I just need a day to sort the invoices out, and Crane isn't actually expecting

to find anything, so he won't. We haven't got a day.

What exactly brings Matt, is it, Joe? Look, I don't care, lads. I'm out.

All we've got to do is stay calm, right?

Find ourselves a bit of time.

Well, you could have told us earlier, Peter.

I'm sorry, Robert. I'd hoped we wouldn't have to.

As it is, we only need about 30 ,000, but we do need it now.

I thought you were speaking to the bank last week.

That's so vague.

Well, I must say, I'm not optimistic about another overdraft.

Mr Bailey and I had words the last time we met.

Perfect. That's today down the toilet.

I've made an appointment for this morning.

It took a bit of doing, but they managed to make room for us.

Smashing.

Right, well, give us a call when you're ready to go.

That's all right, Mr Pitchford. You just stay here and do whatever you do.

Well, if you don't mind.

There's a fair amount to get through here, all right?

Forgive me asking, but are you mad?

I mean, how many Sonias do you think there are in the village?

No, no, no, forget it. But just let me call you in future, all right?

What?

When?

I'll be there, all right.

Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

Young people today.

No patience.

It's very good of you to see us at such short notice, Mr Bailey.

Yeah.

There comes a time in the life of every business...

How much? 30 grand for two months.

I thought... I thought I'd discussed such an arrangement with Mr. Fitchford

the phone last week.

No?

Obviously some wires crossed here.

I'll just have a word with my... I think you'll find

I've already sanctioned the relevant loan for this particular account.

I'm sure you're right.

Then why are you here?

I wanted to meet you, Mr. Bailey.

And what a pleasure it's been.

What a waste of time.

Has Fitzford ever shown any unusual symptoms?

Glazed eyes, trembling hands, sexual advances towards furniture? It's most

unlike Peter.

What do you reckon he'd like as a retirement present?

So I suppose we were lucky to see Bailey so quickly.

I don't think our ideas of lucky have much in common, Robert.

Stephen, do you think you could find it in you to be a little bit more patient

with Peter?

You know, I don't think he likes me.

Well, he probably feels threatened.

Just give him time, will you?

This lot are hot. Put them on me desk.

This is stalling and fetch, that's all. I bet he suspects.

Doubt it. Just routine.

One clear day is all I need to make the book street.

Meantime, just mess up the rest.

Well?

Any ideas?

No.

Don't have ideas.

Tell me.

We didn't ask you to borrow a six -month's pay.

No. We didn't ask you to gamble it all down the bog.

That's true.

We didn't ask you to desert.

It wasn't running away from you.

All right.

All we're saying is, you should have made a few more arrangements.

Yeah, well, that's me all over, isn't it, really?

Careless with details.

5 ,000 of them.

The bread of deceit is sweet to man, but afterwards his mouth shall be filled

with gravel.

So, the facts remain depressingly familiar.

We've gone able to get our money back.

And in three days, Jamie, we'll be deserters like you.

You owe us.

You're broke.

So are we.

Your dad isn't.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

My dad, eh?

Oh, he must have made a startling impression on you two.

Kind, tolerant, liberal, enlightened.

Sort of man who thinks nothing of forking out for other people's gambling.

Hello, son.

How are you?

I haven't seen you since I was trying to push your head through the wall the

night you killed your mother.

And you need five grand, bit of bad luck on the GGs. Of course, son.

American Express!

Oh, dear.

All's well that ends well.

Fancy a pint?

Well, just a four.

Let's get on with it. Well, that was quick.

Get on with what? The account.

Well, I think there might be a bit of a problem. What, without milk?

No sugar?

There was a temp in recently to help after the fire and everything's in a bit

a mess.

It'll take us a while to sort it out, I reckon.

You have just wasted my entire morning at the bank.

Now you tell me. It's not the end of the world, Sonny.

What? The whole thing's a waste of time anyway.

What's the matter with you?

You've been behaving like a cretin ever since I got here.

I might not be as quick as some, but... What are we paying you for?

You can't even keep a file.

Sorry, it's not my fault. Well, whose is it, hmm?

Roger Rabbit?

Can I be honest with you, Mr. Fitchford?

I've been wondering that myself.

You are systematically wasting my time, Mr.

Fitchford. It's making it jolly difficult for you and me to be friends,

Stephen.

All right.

I've just got to go to London to, uh, heal somebody this afternoon.

And there's no point in me staying here now.

See you later.

No patience, young people.

Yes, I understand your point of view. You're saying he's pinched your

Well, I must say I taught Tony as an undergraduate.

I do find it difficult to believe in the first instance... He's not an

undergraduate anymore.

No, indeed, as you say.

Are you interested in my opinion, or do you just want someone to shout at?

Both, thank you.

You'll have the devil's own job proving it one way or the other.

You'll drag him and yourself through the mud. You'll smear the department doing

it, and under the present Tory junta, with their predilection for abolishing

grants, you'll get no thanks for that.

Now...

Victoria, you're a fine student with a potentially brilliant future.

One has to take the long -term view.

If I understand your proposition, you are suggesting that I sacrifice two

of my work to a failing academic in order to save the department's

That is a willful misrepresentation of what I just said.

I see.

Well, what did you mean?

Stubbornness is the intellectual prerogative of donkeys and boars,

Don't disappoint me.

I've got an idea.

Love all quick?

Close.

Go on.

It's October soon.

Popular month for weddings?

And birthdays.

I'll be 21.

And?

And I come into 20 % of Douglas Motors.

You know how much that's worth, hmm?

No.

That's what we'll toss for.

I guess heads.

What do you say, hmm?

All or nothing.

20 % of nothing is nothing.

We are running out of time.

Shut it!

Both of you!

Now. We're off to your dads. Now.

We've got to be back in France tomorrow.

Magali stays with her.

Soon. What?

We'll go soon.

I want to talk to Lucy first.

Do you trust me?

Listen.

Don't you leave me here with him.

Do you trust me?

I don't know why.

Whatever happens today, don't worry, all right?

What's going to happen today?

Whatever happens, they won't hurt you.

No one has a girl.

Not honourable. What do you mean?

Whatever happens, please, Jamie.

I'm not going back to my father with him.

What are you going to do then?

Come on then.

Got any jigsaws?

Hello.

Talk to me.

What was that phone call about yesterday?

You are going to give me a credit for that paper.

It doesn't work like that.

I collected the samples. I gave you the project.

Tony. I am entitled.

Nothing.

Are you interested in the work or just getting the credit?

Has someone put you up to this?

What? The wide boy in the suit, perhaps?

I give you due warning, Tony.

You give me credit for what is mine, or I will drag both of us kicking and

screaming through every tribunal.

Oh, for God's sake, Victoria, what's the point?

I wouldn't get you anyway.

I don't care.

I have carried you academically and emotionally for five years, and that's

right. But I will not be betrayed.

I am wanting very, very low on nobility.

That's you.

Now, listen carefully, Marcus.

You ever, ever send me a fax like that at work again, and you are dead meat.

What's a joke?

The money you owe me is a tax -free slush fund, and now that the news that I

conned Blake to keep them afloat has arrived down at Douglas Motors, I am

to keep Squeaky clean for a week.

For a change, you mean. Well, forget it, Tidder. You don't help. Give us the

cash.

Look, I gave it to Jo. She said she'd be seeing you before I did. And when you

didn't bother answering the facts... You did what?

Jo?

Jo that won't talk to me, Jo?

Jo that hates me, Jo?

Oh, God.

Jo that loathes and despises me, and you handed her my life -saving?

Oh, God.

Do you by any chance free tonight?

Yes,

but not free.

That's a great deal of money.

Oh, pity it isn't mine.

Not necessarily.

Possessing the pen back.

Every time I come back to

England, they've left things that work properly.

Trains, phones, buses.

I blame the parents.

Here. I hope your dad's got that sort of money lying around.

Yeah, he can get it from the factory, cut his cash.

Did you talk about the money with him, you know?

No.

You know, you seem to be a down -to -earth sort of person.

You ought to make it up with him.

Afternoon.

Hello.

Oh, no, I came in here for something, but it slipped right out of my mind.

Wife will kill me.

She's out.

Pardon?

Sonia.

Oh.

Sonia, this is ridiculous.

It's got to stop.

I know.

We have to go away, don't we?

What is happening to this country?

Jimmy?

There was chanting at Lord's last year.

Chanting. Holy unnatural pursuit, Cricket.

And on the question of unnatural pursuits, how progresses our campaign

fair Joanna Franklin?

We're going out to dinner again tonight.

Piers. Piers, do I detect a certain reluctance to expand? Not at all.

Dear heart, a word of admonition from your confessor. Never confuse the

initiative for survival with the pursuit of happiness.

It can only end in tears.

Yes, Jimmy, really, I only meant to tell you that I haven't.

That there's been no significant change in our relationship.

Oh, no matter.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man.

Of course, she's very charming.

How singularly unlike her father.

I confess, I am beginning to find his company rather tiresome. This ghastly

imbroglio with hopeless motors and Stephen Crane.

Of course, you love it.

Of course.

But winning's the thing, dear boy.

Great deal of money at stake here.

Reputations. One must keep Crane away from Franklin.

Ergo, one must keep Crane away from Franklin's daughter.

Perhaps Franklin will lose interest.

I fear his fascination for motor vehicles and the lure of an

asset will sustain his frenzy for the foreseeable future.

Don't you bully me, you bastard.

Was Jimmy very cross about his life?

Bastard can't even remember my name.

Oh, he's terrible with names, Jimmy.

And people.

People and names.

Can I, uh... Can I use your phone, Willie?

No.

James Blake's office.

Yes, she's just gone into theme, Mr Blake.

Can I take a message?

Mr... Good fellow.

Stephen, what are you up to?

Ackerman and Phelps, confidential.

Touching upon precisely this matter, I know you'll forgive me for reminding you

of the paramount importance of confidentiality in all our dealings

Meaning keep away from Stephen.

Well, it's none of your business, Jimmy, but I have absolutely nothing to do

with him now.

Excuse me.

Joe, there's a Mr Goodfellow in reception for you, very urgent.

Tell him I'm in a meeting. He said if you said you were in a meeting, he'd

up. All right.

Like Macbeth in Dunsinane, young Crane grows isolated.

Soon we shall reach into Douglas' motor and pluck out his rotten heart.

I sometimes think somebody up there likes me.

You what?

Crane, disappearing off to London like that.

Get back to work.

I'm off. Do some proper work.

You're Mr.

Fun. I'll join you later. Bring some cake.

Where are you going?

I thought I'd nip off a bit early today. I'll make it up tomorrow.

You're really taking a piss, you are.

Oh, Cap, don't tell me that you ain't gone off early before.

Things are changing.

You want to watch it?

Or... Or you'll shock me. Is that right, Carl?

Oh, Robert will be tickled, won't he?

Of course, he wouldn't care that you knew about this for ages without telling

him.

And, uh...

You reckon your personal ties with the management of Standry and Goodstead?

You want to watch yourself for the next union election, mate?

All right, lad.

Piss off, Gabby.

Well, I'd like to know why you slammed the phone down on me and why you assume

I'm trying to jump Victoria Douglas.

Then I want my money back. You live in the same house together. I find you in

restaurants together. I catch you in pubs together. I hear of you in cars

together. Why the hell should I assume you like her? What money?

Joe. You owe me, you bastard.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yes.

Every time you come near, something appalling happens to me.

Go on, then. Name two things.

Go on.

In the five months I've known you, you have blackmailed me naked in a corridor,

dragged me into two massive frauds, wrecked my relationship with my father,

me sacked from a lucrative job, stolen my phone, blown up my car, and thrown

cold pudding down my buffers in a restaurant.

Apart from that.

All I want is my car back.

Then we can call it quits and we don't have to see each other again.

All right.

And the money?

Wait here.

Didn't the doctor tell you to slow down?

Yes, and I shall do exactly that when I have a spare moment.

Don't worry, Peter.

The doctor's given me these.

I now spend a large part of my working life in the laboratory, but I should

peace for a day.

I don't mean to go on about Stephen Crane, but how long do you reckon he's

to be here?

As short a sentence as he can get away with, I imagine, with time off for good

behaviour.

I wonder what your father would have made of him.

I think... I think he would have strung him up ceremonially from the buffing

pole. Just for denting his own leopard. My father would never compromise on

quality, Peter.

And neither will I.

No.

Which is why I've got Stephen in.

He's absolutely the most devious and cunning rascal I could find.

And if that's what it takes, that's what it'll get.

All right, what's up?

Did you really mean what you said about not seeing me again?

Yes.

No.

I know I'm not worth it.

I take you for granted. I'm never there when you need me. I always expect you to

be there when I need help.

I don't know how you put up with it for so long.

You're better off without me. I know that inside.

It's just... Yes?

I'm sorry.

It just seems like all the wheels are falling off at the moment.

Heaving Douglas Motors out of the toilet when they hate me for doing it.

Pretending to be a consultant when my own life is the most spectacular mess.

And then there's you.

And then... And then as if that isn't enough...

What? My shoelace just snapped.

I'm sorry.

Forget it, Dex.

Can't I keep your car, Jo? No.

Well, I'm not going to get back, and don't call me Dex.

I can recommend public transport.

Recommend it? You can't even remember it. It'll take hours, Jo.

Stephen.

Let's give it a rest for a while.

Why?

Don. What?

He's done a runner.

Oh, terrific, Ade.

Well done.

You got any more good ideas?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Maybe we should go camping in this old man's garden until Jamie comes to his

funeral. Shut up!

Lucy.

Where did he go?

Talking to you.

Do you know what I once saw?

I once saw a man bite a girl's nose off.

Okay, Adrian, this is what we do.

Bloody bug, we only go every two hours.

What do you need me for?

You help us present our case, so to speak.

Do you want to know what I think?

No. I think you're wasting your time.

You heard what Jamie said about his dad.

But what about the prodigal son, eh?

The thing about the prodigal son, he actually went home, didn't he?

I don't remember a bunch of his mates turning up and saying, no, your kid's at

all a thousand many shekels. How about it, mate?

Keep the talking.

What do they say? They say, Nicky Motor.

You see why he joined the Legionnaires?

Many happy returns.

Robert, can you do me a small favour? Is it legal?

Robert.

See you next week.

Cheers. I was just wondering if you could put this package in the safe for

Don't impregnate me. Of course.

It is the repayment of a personal loan between friendles.

Believe that, you'll believe anything.

Well, our safe is not the safest place in the world. We don't usually keep your

sons' money on the premises.

We never see any.

That's all right.

Sorry about losing my temper earlier.

However... You reckon everything's going to be all right now?

Well, when we've got rid of all the unskilled workers.

What? Robert, Peter, Gavin, Lunchbox.

I hope we've missed his sense of humour.

Where is he? Near the booze. He bunked off early to do one of his car repairs.

Again? He'll be putting in a bid for this place soon.

Back in a minute.

Hey, he's had it coming.

Excuse me, mates, you couldn't service my car.

I'll have a go at your wife, cocker, but we're a bit, uh...

Oh, right.

Just a bit of work in my spare time, you know. Enterprise economy and all that.

What's wrong with it? Nothing.

Except it's not just your spare time, is it?

I wouldn't normally mind, but you see, you're a pain in the arse.

Right.

Well, sorry.

Won't happen again.

Just that this was a bit of a rush job, you know.

Yellow card.

Toolbox.

Gosh. Shit.

Go on, then!

Go on!

Get the bloody filth!

Get your prize off all the way, Douglas! Go on!

Lunchbox, you've got no idea, have you?

This is the bit where we do the deal.

The next stage is?

The departmental committee to listen to my case.

What do they do if they think you've got them?

Well, it's a bit late now to stop Tony publishing my work, but I could get a

credit for it.

It still seems hard to believe.

I know Tony's not everybody's cup of tea, but it always struck me as being an

amiable.

You're a hopeless judge of character.

Yes, I think I probably am.

On your mind?

Jamie.

He jumps into my mind from time to time. Dad.

I know.

He isn't. I know. It's just a little flurry of excitement.

A bit of hope.

At least I know he's still alive.

The party really is over, Gerald.

You've got a minute.

And good night, Peter.

Can't stop now. Yes, you can.

See?

What is the prize?

Look, Toy, I want to poke.

Why did you do it, Peter?

A few years back, we had a bit of a rough patch.

We all of us had to work too hard to keep the company's head above water.

A lot of worry.

Killed old man Douglas.

I made a mistake in the bookkeeping, a bad one.

I was so tired.

I lost track of a payment for some seat leather.

I didn't dare tell Robert he had so much on his plate. He needed confidence in

the people around him.

When I found the money later, I kept it.

Keep the money once, son.

You go on keeping it.

Gerald and lunchbox?

Oh, they found out what was going on. They wanted in. I had no choice.

What happens now?

I'm afraid you ought to resign.

Stay for a while, supervise Lunchbox and Joel putting the stuff back into the

system, then hand it over.

Robert doesn't need to know where you're going.

Look a bit funny, though, won't it? Three of us going all of a sudden like

Gerald and Lunchbox are skilled workers.

Worth their weight in gold, especially now they aren't nicking it at the same

time.

And, of course, Gerald's one of the Union boys.

He'll be useful in your pocket.

Yep.

What? Money.

What are you doing here?

Looking for a drinking partner.

What are you still doing here?

Oh, I'm just thinking about things.

Peter Fitchford handed in his resignation today.

Why? I'm the faintest idea.

He's been here ages.

Since before you were born.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Just getting old.

Like me, I suppose.

Nobody gets old like you.

No.

Still, we're over the worst.

Eh?

Hello, Gavin.

It's Lucy, Jamie's girlfriend.

I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but we're looking for Mr Douglas. There's no

answer at his door.

He should be back by now.

I'll give him a call.

Are you sure that's no trouble?

No.

Want to come in and wait?

Okay. These are my pals.

Right.

I insist you buy me a drink.

How did it go today?

Grim.

You're only young once.

And that was a long time ago.

What's the book you're reading?

UTPB Zircon Dating of Granitoid Plutons from the West Coast province of

Peninsular Malaysia.

Oh, yeah, I read that one last week.

Drag's a bit in the middle.

Dad. I

can't

think where he is.

Sometimes pops in the bell for a quick pint on his way home.

More tea, anyone?

Lovely. Oh, yes, I met them. Piper and, um... McGarvey. McGarvey.

So, how long have you got?

Don't know.

Not long.

A day or so.

The police?

They can always give the Legion my address and my real name.

There'll always be someone.

It's tradition.

And these Arabs are after you, eh?

They're not the problem.

No? No.

Look, can't we buy you out?

Yes, but... Well, we don't appear to have much choice, do we?

90 ,000 francs to buy at a three is of the service.

That's about £9 ,000 sterling.

Jamie, I just don't have that kind of money here. I mean, tomorrow, the

You don't?

Dad, please.

They've got to go back tonight. It's my last chance to sort things out.

We don't keep money in the safe.

It just seemed like a good idea at the time. A bloke from home went into the

city.

Where I come from, there are no tracks left to come the wrong side up.

Are your parents still there?

In a manner of speaking.

Oh, you're so sensitive, Stephen. Who told you that?

You have to go home.

You know how it is.

Ah, deprived childhood.

Childhood?

It's a different world here.

Different values.

Forgive me, Stephen.

Why don't you get rid of them?

I'll enjoy their company.

I can.

Stay here, Dad.

It's better.

5 ,000 dead on.

Sorry about earlier.

Wanted to come alone.

Are you coming with us?

No.

Turn left after the drive.

Goodbye, Jamie.

We're right.

Well, as well as can be expected in the circumstances.

Sorry about all of that.

Adrian.

Give Lucy a lift back, will you?

I'll be in touch.

I need the time now.

Okay, Jamie.