All language subtitles for Chance In A Million s03e03 The Blessing.eng

Here I go again.

I hear the trumpet blow again.

Oh, what a blow again.

Taking a chance on love.

Here I slide again.

About to take that ride again.

Of course I like having you all to stay,
Daddy.

It's just unfortunate you've chosen the
only few days of the year when Tom's out

of the country.

Yes, isn't it? And if he'd been here, we
could have all gone to this dinner

dance as a family.

Yes.

I know. Why don't we invite somebody
else? I don't think so, Daddy.

Oh, now, listen, there are plenty of
nice young men around, some of whom I

add care for you more than you seem to
realise.

You don't want to tie yourself down.

Live a little.

Have fun.

And don't underestimate the affection of
people that you perhaps take for

granted.

Oh. Oh, no, it's all right, it's all
right. I'll answer it.

It has to be Mummy and Janet.

Well... Well, well.

What a surprise.

Look who it is, Alison.

It's Cousin Thomas.

Hello, Alison.

Cousin, what are you doing here?

I was just passing on my way from St
John's Ambulance Course.

What, in Hartlepool?

No, no, I'm living down here now. Well,
I'm hoping to. So you'll be able to see

lots more of each other. Good.

I think this calls for a small
celebration.

I've... Bought you a present.

Oh, Thomas, you shouldn't have.

Oh, that's very sweet of you.

You know, I really love surprise
presents.

Mice!

They're Devon Pinks. You know, I'm the
only one in Mouse Fancy who's been able

to breed them to that size. Oh, well,
that's good.

Well, Tom will love those. You know,
he's been looking for another pet.

Ever since he lost his last little
hamster to a champagne cork.

Don't mind me.

Just help yourselves.

Oh, I expect you two young people have
got knots to catch up on.

Oh, look. I'm sorry if Daddy seems to be
behaving rather

strangely.

I don't know if you've heard, but
there's a certain amount of controversy

towards my marrying Tom, and I think
he's secretly hoping that... Sorry to

disturb you again.

I've just this second had a thought.

Are you doing anything this evening,
Tommy?

No. No, I don't think I am doing
anything this evening, Uncle Derry.

you're not doing anything this evening,
Thomas, maybe you'd like to take Alison

here to the show when Forrester's born.
Oh, Daddy, I'm sure Thomas has got much

better things to do, especially with the
Cliff Richard film season starting

again on Channel 4.

It's not, is it?

Oh, I'll get that.

Now, don't you let him bully you,
Thomas.

Come on, Thomas, come on, show some
initiative.

I don't think it's going to work, Uncle
Derry.

Good morning.

Name's Mungo.

Edwina Mungo.

Tom Chan's in? No, I'm afraid he's...
Well, he's playing cricket at the

Would you like to call back next week?

Unfortunately, flying back to the South
Pacific tonight.

Cook Islands.

Walked out to him when he was a baby, so
thought his arm was over.

Oh, what a shame. No, I'm afraid he's
playing in Norway.

Oh, excuse me. Look, come in. I'll just
get that.

If I could just leave my gunny sack here
while I pop out for something to eat.

Nothing too serious, I hope.

Oh, poor Tom. He didn't even leave the
airport.

He spent the entire weekend locked in a
flight simulator.

Look, we've only got six days. If you
want that trainee managership at the

Lionel factory, I want an engagement
before Tom gets back.

So, Tom, why didn't you just catch the
next plane?

Complicated business, Walter. Got bound
up with a group of Bulgarian trainee

pilots and accidentally locked in flight
simulator.

Spent entire weekend landing 747 at
Lourdes.

Heavy fog, one engine.

Tricky business.

I can imagine.

Yeah, mountains on three sides.

Well, if you'll just give me a few
details about this morning, I'll start

up my report. Absolutely, Walter, yes.

Just crossing park.

Ten o 'clock, came upon Bernard here,
park attendant, with jaws of live mink

fastened to hand.

He just came at me out of the laurels.
Obviously in great pain, couldn't just

abandon him. Wondering what to do,
suddenly remembered old Gurkha trick.

He hit him with his cricket bat.

Just at that moment, 400 animal rights
protesters appeared on horizon.

No idea what... Madigan, I think when
the super suggested a water cannon, he

meant something a bit heavier.

Well, I thought I'd cut it in length and
fill them with fans, though, in case

those bastards break in.

Right. Girl obviously got what it takes,
Walter. Yes.

So, these protesters, Tom, I suppose,
when they saw you eating the mink that

you're... Haven't heard the worst of it
yet, Walter.

Standing there, wondering what to do,
Bernard here suggested we take refuge in

Park Attendant Park.

When we got there... discovered dark
taxidermy for hobbits. I'll pick up the

bodies of mammals from road accidents,
you see. At present engaged on little

pair of badger pyjama cases.

Skins pegged out all over the walls.
When crowds saw it, went absolutely

berserk. Your squad car hadn't arrived,
our vital organs would have been

replaced by satin lining and a 14 -inch
brass zipper.

Yes, well, as you can hear, we're not
quite out of the woods yet.

They're musking to attack the canteen,
Sergeant. We need all the men we can

find. Wait a minute, will you? Is that a
button I'm done?

What? Oh, sorry, Sergeant.

Now, listen.

You get every third man, every third man
from the south wall of the parking

compound, and we'll rendezvous down at
the staff entrance.

All right?

Come on, then. Back. If you'll excuse
me, Tom. Absolutely right, sir.

You don't think they'll get in, do you?

What?

Ah.

What, mob after you as well, are they?
Yeah.

I've been trampling this snake for two
years now.

Nobody's ever complained before.

Set the snake, of course.

Who are you, one? In pub near park?

I was there today. In wedding dress,
chained and handcuffed, then step into

with 12 -foot Indian python, only to
emerge, minutes later, stark naked,

trampling... The snake, yes. Yes. That's
what they were on about.

One that perhaps act wasn't... symbolic
in some way.

Now he's just a strip.

You haven't got anything to eat, have
you?

Have a look for you.

Half pork pie.

No whole food?

No, afraid not. Perhaps Snake might like
it.

Yeah, I'm sure he would. Only I'm trying
to educate him onto a vegetarian diet

at the moment.

They're nothing but trouble, Snake.

Ah!

Need any help, Angela?

Oh, thank you, Tom. If you could just
take this little one. Yes, yes.

Excuse me.

I couldn't help over -wearing.

I wonder if you've ever thought of
having a man in the sack?

What do you mean? Is that of us tonight?

Being trampled and handcuffed.

Oh, Alison, got through all right?

Oh, only just, Tom. In the end, Sergeant
Bob had me arrested by the next ward.

Sorry about that, Miss Little. Oh, no,
no, no, no. You had to make it look

convincing.

Had your hair done, have you?

It's getting really unpleasant out
there, Tom, and it's you they're after.

a bit excessive. Just hit mink on head
with bat.

What? Rob?

Slave? Is there anything like me?

Not good, Arden. Must have reached car
compound by now. Don't mind that window,

Tom. Walter's favourite photograph.
Shaking hands with Queen Mother.

Got any nails yet?

That'll be the lesbian save the whale
brew.

Stand back, Arden. They're reloading.

This is an illegal...

One more like that and your mother gets
to hear about it.

Listen, Tom, your young lady has come up
with an idea that might get us all out

of this. Yes, we thought if we smuggled
you out as a policeman... Yes, you see,

we could show them that you'd gone and
of course they'd have no further reason.

It's worth a try, Walter.

There is just one snag. The uniform.

place. Before that business with
Bulgarians, you know, security police

me for carrying a gun. A gun?

Yes.

This is the fellow who caused all the
trouble. Sheet, metal, cut -out,

to scorebook. Obviously, some kind of
practical joke. When suitcases went

through x -ray, showed up as real
things.

You mean to say that's someone's idea of
a joke?

Honestly, they didn't want you to go to
Oslo with them.

It does mean you'll be able to come with
us tonight, and we're going to have a

nice meal here, and then we're all going
on to the ball.

Lovely idea, Alison, but probably still
looking after Mrs Mungo that time. Odd

thing, name so familiar, can't put faith
to it. What sort of woman is she,

exactly? Excuse me, Alison.

There's a strange woman in the kitchen.
She wants to know if she can light a

small fire in the garden.

See, absolutely no reason why not. Give
her a drink first.

Well, Colin Thomas, very nice to see you
again.

How's leg?

Fine, thanks.

Good. I thought it was your arm that he
broke.

It was.

She's a very strange woman, Alison.

She's got a tattoo.

Discrete little tattoos, rather.

What's the size of a pineapple?

It's a picture of Mount Everest with
Union Jack and well done Sir Edmund on

What happened to Tom at the airport?

Oh, it's somebody's idea of a joke.
Apparently, somebody sellotaped this

like, a book he was carrying.

Big Dorrit?

Are you Thomas?

Might be.

Ta -da!

Formal introductions.

Like you to meet Edwina Mungo, one -time
nanny.

Alison Little, present fiancé. You'll
have to excuse me, Anne.

Had a very good morning. After she
finished carp tickling, she got four

It wasn't difficult.

Piece of bread and they sit on your
shoulder just waiting to be gone.

Well,

it's very nice that you should both be
together again after all these years.

Now, where's me camera? Must get a
little shot of it. Wouldn't mind chance

change first.

Of course. and freshen up your lipstick,
I quite understand.

Dammit!

They've gone!

I see a woman crying.

Oh, that'd be Mummy. She had a very
nasty experience in town this morning.

Unfortunately, it shows wrong moment to
pick up mink stole from cleaners. Animal

rights protesters... Yes, 50 of them ran
out of ground. in the car park lavatory

and sprayed rich pitch all over it and
green fluorescent paint.

Hmm, there's another woman with her.
Also unhappy.

Of the anger and frustration.

Cousin Janet.

Ah, uncanny, Alan.

Uncanny. She took Mummy into a little
pub for a brandy to steady her nerves,

she saw her fiancé chained in a sack,
being trampled by a naked stripper.

Spot on about anger and frustration.

Took him out, put him through a window
of millets. Right, now, here we have a

pair of lovers.

Ah, really?

Um, who...

I think that's probably us, Tom.

Ah, he's uncanny, Alison.

Uncanny. And they should live... Oh,
dear.

What? Oh, dear, I'm a bit confused by
the serpent.

Normally it means chaos and disruption.

Excuse me, Alison, but I think your
mum's still a bit upset.

We've got a radio too, but... But now
she wants Benji. Benji?

Dog. Small, fluffy, not too steady on
pins.

Last seen fornicating with cushion on
sofa.

Benji! Benji!

Mummy's had it a great many years. It's
had a very calming effect.

Can't be too far away. Found collar.

You belong to my mother. Don't start
again, Doreen. Oh, no.

She just wants to give the nitromores
another hour.

I could have tied him up. I could have
trampled him. Yes, well, I think

following him into millets and stuffing
him in a rucksack was probably the next

best thing, Janet.

Why didn't he tell me?

Sorry to take so long.

Next course rather interesting,
actually.

Small problem.

One pigeon short.

Anyone for squirrel?

Excellent choice, Dorian. Marvellous.
Won't regret it. There we are, Derek.

That's for you.

My goodness, this looks exciting,
Charles. Normally parakeet mango.

Traditionally served at nose -piercing
of new wife.

One word of warning.

Cooked with internal organs intact.

Obligatory to eat, but apparently gives
highly distinctive flavor.

Mrs. Mounder says it also gives the
pigeons a better lifestyle after they

their ancestors.

Vegetable! That's for you, Cousin
Thomas.

A dog has a heart attack picking up a
shaped biscuit.

for that.

It gets thrown in at the start, and when
it starts to sing, and it's a very

recognizable song, a terrapin song.

Means beer's ready, huh?

Then I take the terrapin out, and it's
worshipped as a god.

You're still suffering from these
coincidences, then. Not so much,

Winnie. It occurred to me recently.

Situation's definitely improving.

And Alison, she doesn't mind?

Tower of strength, Winnie.

Extraordinary girl.

Disasters happen all over the place.
Other people.

Alison's just smiling.

Good, good. It's odd things. The parents
are quite different. Rather highly

strung, in fact. Main reason why I
suggested we eat out here. Leave them

Enjoy a quiet, peaceful evening.

That wasn't a scream, was it?

A scream?

This pipe makes a hearing very
difficult.

Well, go and have a look.

Winnie, screwdriver down throat, one
thrust, all over in seconds.

Quite easy when you're used to it.

Yeah. Now, you won't just leave it in
the freezer, will you? No.

As I said.

Yeah. Sliced into steak, 20 minutes on
the grill.

Just a dusting of coconut. Looking
forward to it. Alison, more guava pot.

Thank you, Tom.

Yeah. You're worried about Mother.

Oh, I'm more cross with her, really.

I realise now just how opposed she is to
our marriage, and I would so like it to

have had a parent's blessing.

Difficult, yes.

Unfortunately, can't really help.

Oh, it's hardly your fault.

Tom's parents were drowned when he was
little.

You're part of the world, Winnie. Went
on cruise, left me to stay with old

Evelyn, set off from Tonga, 1953,

never seen again.

Sorry to hear that.

Only four months old at the time.

No memory of either of them. Excuse me.

Ah, only one thing. Yes, do remember,
Mother had tattoo of Mount Everest

on left forearm.

Size of a pineapple.

Extraordinary woman.

Really wish I'd known her.

I know what you must be thinking.

We were shipwrecked.

It's just that by the time we were
rescued, we'd just managed to collect

driftwood for a greenhouse.

Then Tom's dad died from the fever and I
had to take over the garden centre.

Not long after that, Mungo came along
and somehow... Son!

Didn't you miss him at all?

he was being well looked after by Uncle
Evelyn.

I was very young, Alison, and bringing
up Tom was a bit like living tied to a

lightning conductor.

That's why the doctor advised I go on
the cruise in the first place.

Yes, I see. Came back because I thought
maybe these coincidences had stopped.

Uh, telephone call from taxi people.

Apparently animal food carrier tipped
entire contents on cab rank.

Up to their knees in calf nuts.

No cabs available.

But obviously they haven't.

Doorbell. Better attempt.

I think if you don't mind, we won't tell
him.

Well, I'll leave that up to you.

I did send him a bottle every Christmas,
but somehow I don't think he got it.

Well, it's quite a long way from the
coast here. In any way, the tides might

have been quite...

about not having a parent's blessing.

Well, it's not much to give, but for
what it's worth, you have it.

He's not very bright. I always knew
that.

But I think he's been very lucky in
finding you.

And I hope very much you'll both be very
happy together.

Thank you.

What a coincidence.

Cab at door.

Came to wrong house, but doesn't mind
taking us. Can't miss me playing.

Cook Islands, here I come.

Interesting woman, Mrs. Mungo.

Too sad she couldn't stay.

Only met her ten hours ago. Feels as if
I've known her all my life.

She left a little wedding present for
you, Tom.

Ah, same as stuff she was smoking. She
said not to worry if your mouth goes

numb. I don't have anything serious
planned for at least three days.

I'll knock.

fact on me at all.

Oh, bother. I meant to give her this to
read on the plane.

Oh, I gave her a book from Cyborg.

Which book?

Big Dorrit.

A book about a woman with extremely
large... Yes, I know what it's about,

I thought I'd give her a few surprises.
Yes, I'm sure you're right.

Yes, I said she could return it if she
came back.

I think she ever will.

Probably not. Yeah.

Don't let your cocoa get cold.

No.

Thank you.

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