Original subtitles

Here I go again.

I hear the trumpet blow again.

Oh, what a glow again.

Taking a chance on love.

Me right side again.

About to take that right again.

Starry -eyed again.

Taking, taking a chance on love.

at the civil service station.

Yeah, OK, I'll get him.

Mr Fangioli?

What is it?

Oh, I think it's Mr Bernardini.

Oh. Harry, hello.

Yeah, hang on a minute.

Maureen. Yeah? See if you can find a type of sweater in the back, will you?

Harry, look, have you got a new courier yet?

Oh, good. How will I recognise him?

Hang on a minute, hang on a minute.

A buzzard has shattered my windscreen.

Oh, nice one, Harry.

No danger of a slip -up there, is there? I mean, no chance of somebody coming...

Yeah, all right, Harry.

A buzzard has shattered my windscreen.

Yeah, I like that.

Just a swallowed shovel full of broken glass, Alison.

You're certainly not feeling too good.

Oh, we really need the vet.

Can you ring him?

Oh, quite simply. Just a tug, twist.

I mean, ring the vet, Tom.

Ah, yes, well, probably too late.

Beth, you get in and drive.

One good push could get us clear.

Couldn't you drive, Tom?

No, no, it needs me to push.

Ah! Sorry.

Yes, I'm with you now.

Looks like buzzard.

Poor chap.

Thank you.

Alison, put car into first gear.

OK? I'll give signal.

Easy on clutch, right?

Right.

Um, Tom?

Yes? Um, I know the, um... Yes?

You know, the, um, little acceleration thingy. Yes, yes. Um, I'm not quite sure

about the, um... Oh, clutch is on the left. Right.

Looking for someone in charge.

I am.

Ah, good. Little problem.

Large bird, shattered windscreen.

I'll get you some toilet paper.

No.

No. Shattered, as in...

As in broken.

Yes. Need replacement.

I'll call Mr Fangioli.

And Tom. I think I'd better ring Mummy and Daddy, tell them we'll be a bit

Yes, good thing. Very good.

So, uh,

are you a buzzard who shattered your windscreen? Funny you should say that,

Looks like it was a very frightened bird.

Yes. Came here for replacement windscreen, not third -rate music,

What? You mean your windscreen is actually broken? Completely.

What a professional.

All right, boy.

I'll get one of the lads to fix it for you, put a temporary in. Anything else?

The rear ashtray needs loosening out. We'll call you as soon as it's ready.

All right.

Thin -headed Bobo.

Yes.

Everything all right, Alison? Yes.

Daddy's out shopping for a bit of Moe Van Gora.

Mummy's having a bit of a cry.

Situation normal, then.

Oh, so that's a relief.

There's no need to bull or ox a tale.

Coffee.

Oh, well, I saw to them little floaty bits.

All right, Tom.

Oh, this room. Never liked waiting rooms. Stuck in one of these, spring 69.

military policemen broke in, accused me of wearing shoe lifts and shaving off

moustache.

Arrested for desertion, taken to Stirling Castle. Oh, dear.

Yes, yes. On way to war -on -want banquet at Dorchester, a girl called

Chance of a lifetime, it was. Oh, Victoria, was she the one who, um... No,

no, no, no.

Victoria Teak, daughter of Wing Commander Teak. Attractive girl, used to

grapes.

Only allowed one call from Sel.

Phoned best friend to act as replacement.

24 hours later, engaged to each other.

Yes. Well, if you'd got engaged to her, Tom, you wouldn't have met me.

No.

Still, still, very nervous about meeting parents, especially after last time.

Now, Tom, throwing a coat over that puddle for Mummy was a very chivalrous

gesture.

I mean, you weren't to know it was hers.

Well, no excuse. Stupid thing to do. And now... planning to ask them for hand of

only daughter. Keep trying to think of words.

Get picture of mother crying.

Now, Tom, the thing to do is just put her at her ease.

Talk about animals, a bird, she likes that.

She used to be a busy bee with a PDSA.

PDSA is active organisation, set on once by mobile unit, been reported by

neighbour for maltreating Yorkshire terrier.

Only trying to take its temperature, you know.

Yes, well, I think you'd better stick to birds, Tom.

Ask around the chaffinch with the broken wings getting on.

Broken wing?

Daddy's even easier. Just got to show an interest in his knitting and crochet.

Interest? You know, you say, pick up the crochet cover for the TV remote control

and you say, I wonder who made this pretty little thing?

And then he'll do the rest.

I wonder who made this.

Pretty little thing.

He'll do the rest.

Where is that bloody mechanic?

Take it easy, governor.

We went as fast as we could.

You all right, are you? Oh, yeah.

It's got the bill?

No, it's on the house, mate.

And this is your free gift.

What do you give? Oh, very kind. Thank you.

Oh, what is it, Tom?

Well... It smells like wallpaper paste to me.

Are you really?

Excuse me.

What a professional.

Can you help me? No, I'm just up for a coffee, right?

A buzzard has shattered my windscreen.

I'll get you some toilet paper.

You what?

I believe you have a package for me.

Fuck you!

He was a particularly valuable gnome, Alison. We bought it on our honeymoon in

Truro. It's just that if we'd known he was coming, we'd have put it with the

serviette rings in the bank.

But I told you he was coming. Correction, Alison.

You told us you were bringing someone who would change the whole direction of

your life mentally.

And physically.

From your description, we were expecting a Norman St. John's David.

And you bring him.

Oh, you will try to be nice to him, won't you? I mean, all the things that

happen to him can often leave him very flattened and depressed.

Like that.

Hello, little fellow. Feeling better?

Tom? Yes?

Would you like some tea?

Yes, lovely. Thank you.

Mummy?

Thank you.

Her chaffinch had broken wing.

Wondered how it was getting on.

You remember you told us you put it in plaster of Paris?

Yes, well, your mother's first aid was extremely successful.

We let him out for a little fly -around yesterday evening.

Really? Congratulations.

He flew three times round the kitchen and dived into the deep -flat fryer.

Oh, come along, Mother, come along, pull yourself together.

Sorry.

Have another pot -brill sandwich, Alison.

Ah!

Wonderful crochet.

It's tatting. Not at all. Far too modest.

Would you like some more tea, Tom? Ah, love some, yes.

Mummy?

Tea.

just been accepted as a member.

Congratulations.

Waited long?

23 years.

Well, there was a certain amount of prejudice because of my interest.

But I think attitudes towards the needlecraft are changing.

Daddy keeps most of his stuff in the studio.

I'm sure he'd love to show it.

Has the decorating coming along?

Well, with my recently inflamed sinus, because I haven't quite finished the

wallpapering. Tom will help you.

Pleasure. No.

No, it's very good of you, thank you, but I've run out of wallpaper paste.

No problem. Got spare packet in the car. Get it for you now.

Original, you know, this room. Perfect inspiration.

I'd like to know how you started, Hobbie.

Well, it was when we were first married, I suppose.

We couldn't afford all the little set that is.

Poodle toilet roll covers, brush and comb doilies, that sort of thing. So I

them myself.

Really? Then it became like a drug.

I'll show you some of my latest range this evening up at the golf club. Look

forward to that.

Lovely game.

God. Used to enjoy a quiet round.

Oh, yeah? And what was your handicap?

Weather, mostly.

Extraordinary thing. Every time it went on course, it rained.

Rained? Every time. Last time played, dying gasp of Hurricane Debbie tore

roof off clubhouse.

Decided to give it up then.

Shame, really. Missed the competition.

Ah, yes, yes.

You know, there's a very competitive element in the world of needlecraft.

Oh, really?

Oh, yes.

Security is a tremendous problem nowadays.

Take the Crabtree sisters round here.

They've dominated the baby -clothes section for seven decades now, and

stop at nothing to get the patent for a revolutionary new romper suit or a

matinee jacket.

Hard to believe old ladies like that breaking into people's homes, no care

about... Oh! What's that?

Oh!

This is just a warning.

How do you know?

Says so. Message. This is just a warning.

It's the Crabtree sisters. I just knew it.

Motorbike out there? Yes, that's them.

Oh, you wait till I tell the committee about this. They won't exhibit so much

a pram cover after this.

What's that message say?

This is just a warning. We know you've got it. You know what it is.

Give it back or we'll...

Throw another brick through your window.

This is the members' entrance. As you can see, notices and items of interest.

Oh,

Daddy, that's... Got everything here, Mr Little.

Niblick, warmer.

Driver, cosy.

mashy warmer.

Yes, I've tried to cover the whole range of golfing accessories, but of course

the slanted to the wall and wool makes them few.

Remarkable. Oh, thank you.

No, no.

Fellow over there.

Oh, that's our club secretary. I won't introduce you if you don't mind, just in

case. I certainly do, yes.

Wing Commander.

Yes. Remember me?

Chance. Yes. Tom Chance.

Spot on.

I'd like you to meet... Wing Commander Teak. Told you about him this morning.

Oh, good, yes. You're not members, are you? No, no. In that case, I'm afraid I

must ask you to leave. No. Because Club Rue insists that members... No, no.

Guests of Mr Little here.

This is true.

Well, in a manner of... Yes.

Just talking about daughter this morning. Last time heard of, got engaged

best friend.

Yes, well, your friend let her down, rather, I'm afraid.

She's been in a Zurich sanatorium ever since.

Oh, dear. Didn't get married, then? No.

Your friend married my wife.

Excuse me, I think I need a drink.

Yes, well, let's all go through to the bar, then, shall we?

This is my office.

The bar's through there. The bar's through here. Ah, good.

Uh, sweet sherry, Mother.

Thank you. Yes, please.

Tom's always meeting old friends like that.

Well, people are used to no anyway.

Things are always happening to Tom. That's what makes it such fun.

Petal, can I say something rather serious?

Of course you can, Mummy.

When I was a young woman, before I married your father, there was a young

knew, the supervisor at the munitions factory.

Oh, is he the photo you keep in the back of the powdered egg recipe book?

Well, he wanted to take me out, but I knew that if I said yes... I'd be

to adopt a very different way of life. Drink, smoke, go to parties, and reach

heights of unspeakable ecstasy with him in the back of his van.

I thought very hard about it and went out with your father instead.

I know what you're saying, Mummy.

You don't think that was a mistake, do you? Well, I've often wondered.

No!

in the tumble dryer.

No wonder his eyes were watering in the back of the car.

Extraordinary thing.

Turned out barman was old chum. Oh, not another one. Yes, yes. Trapped with him

once when water main burst in Instant Potato Factory.

Still remembers me.

I wonder why.

Yes.

Take him into dinner like that?

Nonsense. I'll mend them. If you take them off in the little boy's room, Daddy

can bring them out for me. Wonderful girl, Alison.

Never forget this.

Thank you.

Never forget it, Carly.

Oh.

If you're good, I'll take you out into the rough and you can play fetch with a

pair of my spikes.

Arthur Padgett.

Yes? Is that you, Arthur?

Yes, why?

Remember me?

Naked, on the floor, ten tonner.

Pardon? Arrested for desertion. Stirling Castle.

Tom! Yes?

I didn't recognise you. Not surprising. Bag overhead, most of the time.

Good to see you. Yes, yes. Probably wondering what I'm doing here.

How many getters do I get?

Split trousers, waiting for repairs.

Oh, I see. Well, I've got a spare pair in my locker if you'd like to borrow

them. Splendid. Lovely.

Fancy running into you.

Only talking about you today. Your exploits in military police.

God, Tom, how could we have done it to you?

Not all bad, though.

Naffy Lager.

It's all

right,

it's only me.

My wife is still in the ladies, so we'll have to wait a bit longer.

We don't like people hanging around in that prison.

We prefer members to confine their socialising to the bar.

No, I was trying to contact a young man.

That's what I was afraid of.

Now, where is she?

Doreen?

Doreen? Doreen?

I've been looking everywhere for you. Where did you get those trousers?

Extraordinary thing.

Bumped into old friends. Yes, well, you'd better wait here for a moment.

Doreen's in the ladies giving Alison a hand.

Really extraordinary display.

Oh, thank you. Can't help noticing, balaclava.

Oh, yes.

Like to try it on.

Good protection against wind.

Visibility possibly little restricted.

Ah, no, no, you see, you've got it on sideways.

Pull it round. Let me show you. Like this.

Ah, yes.

Much better.

Rick!

New message.

Why... Don't you answer our brick.

OK, nobody move.

Throw him through here, Arthur.

Thank you.

I just want to phone the station.

Oh, well, I think Daddy's got a timetable somewhere.

Police station.

I'm delivering the dog to one of my men. Not in police now, Arthur.

Yeah, Detective Inspector, no less. Really?

Congratulations. Thank you.

Yes, I've just collected this lad from training school. Really?

What's he training for?

Drug sniffing. He passed out top of his class.

Do you know, Arthur, I can understand them detecting the drugs, but how on

do they communicate to you?

Oh, it's pretty obvious when they're onto something.

They start by sniffing the area of search.

Then they usually start to whine.

And when they're sure they want to something, they bark furiously.

Oh, she probably wanted to, um, you know, pot behind the bush after its car

journey.

Funny, that.

when a dog like that thinks it's found several kilos of cocaine.

Well, the police have got to do their duty.

It's just a pity they thought there was a secret compartment behind the wall,

you know.

Only decent thing to do, creep quietly away. Come back on Monday, pick you up.

Now, Tom, don't you think if you did that, you'd be running away from it all?

Absolutely, yes.

Now, Tom... Come along.

She'll be all right in a minute.

She's just a little bit upset about the strip search.

Well, Mummy, Daddy, Tom and I have got a little bit of news that might help

cheer you up a bit.

Certainly have.

Mr and Mrs Little, proud to announce engagement to Alison.

I go again. I hear the trumpet blow again.

Oh, I'm going again.

Taking a chance on love.

Leading the right line again.

About to take that right again.

Sorry, I'm again.

Taking a chance on love.

I see a rainbow blending now.

Feel about happy ending now.

Dig in. Taking a chance on love.

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