Original subtitles

[bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

Ms. Brady, what are these?

Enclosed in these envelopes

are the results of your IQ tests.

Although, some of you may need help opening them.

-[laughs, snorts] -[students groan]

[Ms. Brady] Come on, it's funny.

-Relax. -Hmm?

These tests are not an actual indication of your intelligence.

They're just a tool we use to assess your educational needs.

-Not. -[students groan]

Ooh, that means it's bad.

I'm not opening mine.

[bell ringing]

Uh-uh! Not so fast.

Will the following students please remain seated?

-Penny Proud. -[gasps]

-[Ms. Brady] Myron Lewinski and... -Ooh?

Oh, my!

Dijonay Jones.

-[boy] Ha-ha! -Who?

[boy] Have fun, Dijonay.

Aw, man! There goes Harvard.

[chuckles] Why do you say that, Myron?

Because if I'm in the same group as a Dijonay, it can't be good.

I've got good news and better news.

The good news is you all have scored

in the top two percentile on your IQ test.

-Yeah! -The better news is,

I don't have to teach you anymore.

-From this day hence... -[gasps]

...you are the newest members of the Willy T. Ribbs Wiz Kids program.

Congratulations, and good riddance.

[Dijonay] Mm-hmm.

[gasping, breathing heavily]

[grunts]

? The... Proud... Family... What? ?

? You and me will always be tight ?

? Family every day and every night ?

? Even when you start acting like a fool ?

? You know that I'm lovin' every single thing you do ?

? I know I can always be myself ?

? When I'm with you more than anybody else ?

? Every single day that I'm headed off to school ?

? You know there's no one I love as much as you ?

-? The family ? -? The family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll make you scream! ?

? They'll make you wanna sing! ?

? It's a family thing, a family ?

? A proud, proud family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll push your buttons! ?

? They'll make you wanna hug 'em ?

? A family, family Proud, proud family ?

? Proud, proud family ?

[Oscar screams]

-[BeBe] Check! -[Bobby] Ow.

How'd you do that?

Trudy, you better put this boy in some tournaments.

He got skills.

[snoring, yelps]

Hey, Mama.

-[door creaks] -[shrieks]

Why the long face, Penny?

We got our IQ test scores today.

Oh, they still doing those stupid things?

I wouldn't pay 'em no attention.

My Bobby took that and they tried to say he was slow.

-[BeBe] Checkmate! -Oh, no! BeBe beat me again!

Give me back my king! You double-jumped.

But then, you never know.

No, it isn't that. I'm in the top two percentile.

You are? Maybe there's something to them things after all.

Top two percentile, Penny?

That is fantastic.

No, it's not.

Now I'm one of the Wiz Kids.

Does the Wizard have to make everything about him?

That sounds like a good thing, Penny. So why are you upset?

Now, I have to take different classes away from my friends.

I did, too, back in the day.

It was called segregation.

Well, the good news is, at least she'll be away from that sassy butt, Dijonay.

Uh-uh. She's a Wiz Kid, too.

Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a different kind of test.

-[shrieks] -Hello, family! Today is a good day!

What are you so happy about, boy?

Besides the fact that your wife makes more money than you.

[laughs] You're not gonna bring me down, Suga Mama.

Not today! [screams] Hey, whoa!

Yeah, why are you so happy, Oscar?

[laughs]

I'm bringing Snackland back.

Opening night is gonna be Willy T. Ribbs Middle School Night.

Where'd you get the money to reopen Snackland?

A loan. Whatchu think?

A loan? Who gave you a loan?

Take a guess.

Ooh, I know it wasn't the bank.

Banks aren't the only ones that give out loans.

You got a payday loan?

Nah, that don't make no sense. You ain't got no payday.

[clears throat] It's called a hard money loan,

my wriggly colleague.

Well, that's hard to believe.

From who, Oscar?

Ha! Wizard Kelly! We boys!

Why would Wizard Kelly give you money?

That's because you're married to a mover and a shaker.

I put up a little collateral, that's all.

-That's how rich people do things. -But you're not rich, Oscar.

And you don't have any collateral.

Yeah, I do. All this.

[laughing]

Before you react, Trudy. I thought this through.

-Ha! -There's nobody bigger

than the Wizard, right?

With him behind me, there's no way I could fail.

-I just need you to believe me, Trudy. -[? sad music playing]

Like I've believed in you.

Trudy?

Okay, Oscar.

I believe in you.

You do?

I mean, yeah, you do. Of course you do. What's the catch?

You never believed in me before.

If it doesn't work and we lose the house,

we aren't going to be in the street.

Just you.

[kisses]

Whatever you say, dear. [chuckles]

-[grunts] -Penny, make sure

you hand these flyers out to your friends at school,

-or I ain't gonna be your daddy no more. -Aw, man!

BeBe and CeCe.

Your mama's good-looking and your daddy is about to be rich.

[both laughing]

[kids laughing]

Congratulations, Wiz Kid Proud.

[sighs] But I don't wanna be a Wiz Kid.

I'll be away from all of you.

Wow, prayer does work.

-She didn't mean that, Penny. -Yes, I did.

They tried to put me with the Wiz Kids

when I first got here, too, but I refused.

Yeah, but you don't have my parents or my Suga Mama.

[Principal Hightower] Ah-ah-ah!

This entrance is only for the future factory workers. Not you.

Come with me, my brilliant minds.

[? mysterious music playing]

[beeping]

[computer whirring]

[beeping]

[laser scanning]

[robotic voice] Welcome.

-[steam hisses] -[chuckling excitedly]

-[inhaler rattles] -[pants excitedly]

[robotic voice] Welcome to Wiz Kid Middle School.

-[kids laughing] -Home of the best and brightest.

-Wait, come back. -Wow. Where did all of this come from?

We spare no expense in educating our more gifted students.

Wow, that's kind of unfair.

The only way for you to have more, Penny Proud,

is for somebody to have less.

-Now, chin up. -[grunts]

Your lives are about to change forever.

Are you ready?

[chuckles] I know I am, Principal Hightower.

The reading material I just gave you.

You'll learn quickly we don't teach you at Wiz Kids.

We just reaffirm what you should already know.

[clears throat] Excuse me, Professor Noah Doll.

I have three new exceptional students for your class.

Is that a fact?

Principal Hightower, I'll be the judge of that.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Welcome to the upper echelon of learning.

Please take an empty pod.

Okay, children, make me proud.

You're gonna have to catch up. You three exceptional students

are a day behind everyone else.

-[claps] -[computer whirring]

Zang!

Y'all read all these in a day?

Yeah. When I was in preschool.

Aw, you don't have a life, do you?

[chuckles nervously] Julie Chang!

I've finally made it to the big time.

Uh, you free for lunch today?

What's your IQ?

A hundred and forty-two.

Sorry, not high enough.

Nubia?

[gasps]

[chuckles] 'Scuse me.

I'm Gabrielle over here, Proud.

What are you doing here?

I'm smart, Proud.

What you think I do between first and ninth period?

I don't know. Cutting class?

If you tell anybody, Proud...

Don't worry, Nubia... I mean, Gabrielle.

Your secret is safe with me.

Love the hair and I didn't even know you wore dresses. [chuckles]

-Or lotion. -[Noah Doll] All right.

Books away. Time for a pop quiz.

A pop quiz? On what?

-[robotic voice] Three, two, one. -[chimes]

[? enthralling music playing]

[beeping]

Uh... what?

[groans]

X equals minus-B plus the derivative of...

[door opens]

-Oh, Oscar. Look at our baby. -[Penny snoring]

She really is working so hard.

Well, not hard enough.

She didn't pass out these flyers like I told her to!

[robot dogs barking]

May I have your attention, Wiz Kids?

-[mechanical whirring] -[gasping]

-On your screens-- -[mechanical whirring]

Huh?

You will find-- You will find-- You will find--

Huh?

[Noah Doll glitching] You will find-- You will fi--

You will find-- You will find--

-[mechanical clicking] -[gasps]

-[grunts] -[gasps]

You will find links to the reading materials

for our quarterly FT on your tablets.

[groans]

Good luck. You'll need it.

-[glitching] Good luck. -Huh?

You'll need it-- You'll need it-- You'll need it--

Uh...

Good-- You'll need it-- Good luck. [crashes]

What was that? Is he an android?

No, he's a synthetic organism.

So he's not real?

What is an FT?

It's the Filter Test, Penny.

Filter? Who are they trying to filter?

Well, only seven out of the ten of us will pass.

[groans]

It's no joke. Fail this test and you're out.

Which means no Harvard, no Rhodes Scholar, no Nobel Prize.

And worst of all, you have to go back

to the school with the general population.

[Myron gulps]

Study group at my house tonight.

-Everyone down? -I'll be there. Wouldn't miss it.

It's BYOI.

BYOI?

Bring your own inhaler.

[chuckles] Oh, yeah.

-[inhaler clicks] -[inhalers click]

[Penny grunts]

[groans]

-Oh! [grunts] -[kids laughing]

Hey, Penny, where have you been?

Yeah, ever since you got into that elitist secret school,

you don't have time for your friends.

It's not like that, Maya.

We've got so much work, I don't even have time for the bathroom.

What's wrong, Proud? Can't cut it?

You know what, LaCienega?

I'm not sure.

This is the hardest thing I've done in my life.

I always thought I was halfway intelligent,

but now that I'm around those Wiz Kids,

I don't know.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, Proud,

-I always knew you weren't. -[Maya groans]

You need to relax.

Why don't you come with us? We're heading to Snackland.

I can't.

I have study group tonight.

Say less, girl.

[all] Bye!

[all laughing]

[Julie] The derivative of a moving object

with respect to time equals what?

Dijonay?

Equals I don't care.

I can't study anymore, Julie. I'm out.

Where are you going, Dijonay?

I'm going to Snackland.

It's free, y'all!

I know! I live with the Snack Master,

but I don't want to live with him for the rest of my life.

So we gotta get ready for the test.

I'm already ready. Y'all stress too much.

Well, we know one person who's gonna fail.

We don't know anything.

We don't even know what wanna be on the test.

Professor Doll could kick everybody out.

He's a robot.

-He has no feelings. -Ugh! What is that on your face, girl?

-[gasping] -[screaming]

[clears throat]

Uh, pray tell, what is that on your face?

I get hives whenever we have an FT.

You know, I hate to admit it, but Dijonay is right.

Y'all are stressing too much.

You've gotta trust that you know what you know.

All I know is, with that attitude,

you're gonna be the second one missing.

Well, I'm going to Snackland.

Anybody coming with me?

Yeah, I'm with you, Proud.

Yeah, me too. I need some R and R. [laughs]

You should come, Julie.

It would help your face.

It will? I'm in.

-[Myron] All right. Let's go. -Fine. You're all gonna fail.

I'm remaining here.

Not in my house. Come on.

-[grunts] -[door closes]

[crowd chanting] We want Snackland!

[CeCe exclaiming]

Wow.

-I've never seen it this crowded before. -[kids laughing]

We're never gonna find a parking space.

Oh, come on, Trudy.

You are with the Snack Master.

I got my own double-wide special reserve-- What the?

[tires screeching]

Who's in the Snack Master's

-parking space? -[horn honking]

Obviously, somebody don't care none about this Snack Master.

You're lucky this car doesn't have an eject button, Mama.

-Snacky Monkey! -[monkey screeches]

Someone's in my parking space.

You know what to do.

What's that you're wearing?

[screeching]

Where's your Snacky Monkey outfit?

[screeching]

-[crowd cheering] -[Wizard Kelly] All right, y'all.

You know what time it is.

It's time for the unveiling, y'all.

-[crowd cheering] -Hold on, Wiz. What's going on here?

Well, the Wizard is about to announce the new name

of this here soon to be world's busiest theme park.

New name? What new name? I didn't agree to that.

Well, I'm afraid you did, my skinny-tied friend.

See, you should've read the small print.

What small print?

-I don't see nothing. -[Wizard Kelly] Oh, my bad.

It's on 10x.

-It should be on 1,000x. -Let me take a look.

"I hereby assign renaming rights

"and all profits

"to Wizard Kelly's many businesses."

What in the-- [grunts]

Step aside, please.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's my pleasure to present to you

none other than Bubbaland y'all.

-[crowd cheering] -[Oscar] Bubbaland?

-Who's Bubba? -You ain't heard of Bubba Wallace.

He's our new 50-50 partner.

[crowd cheering]

[? upbeat music playing]

[laughing]

Man, nice to meet you, Oscar.

Yeah, right on, bro.

Who's 50 is he getting?

Again, you didn't read the contract.

Forget that contract.

I'm not letting you name my amusement park

after a nobody nobody's ever heard of.

-[screaming] -[gasping]

Bubba Wallace!

-Trudy? Suga Mama? What a surprise. -[Suga Mama laughs]

[kids] Uncle Bubba.

BeBe! CeCe!

-So good to see you again. -[all laughing]

How you know my family, Bubba?

They come to all of my races. They're my biggest fans.

Yeah, me and Suga Mama take the kids to see Bubba

every time NASCAR comes to town.

Well, you know, every day is NASCAR Day at Bubbaland, y'all.

Bubbaland. Well, now that explains the crowd.

That's right, Suga Mama.

And the name ain't the only change.

Speak on it, Bubba.

That's right, Wiz.

I have personally approved every ride at Bubbaland

to ensure that everyone has a Bubba-good time.

My favorite is Bubbaland's Loop de Loop, y'all.

[crowd cheering]

What you think, Oscar Proud?

I think I'm about to Bubba you, Wizard.

Uh, security! Please come collect your newest member.

-[grunts] -Follow me now, Snack Master.

[Oscar] Help! Trudy!

Man, I must say, the security sure has improved around here.

[laughs]

-[bell ringing] -[cheering]

Hey, y'all! You were right, Dijonay.

We were stressing too much.

Oh! So you came to your senses.

Let me record that.

You ain't never said I was right before.

Hey, everybody. These are my friends.

-[bell dings] -[gasps]

[heart thumping]

-[Griffin groans softly] -[gasps]

[? romantic music playing]

[groans softly]

I hope you know CPR, 'cause you just took my breath away.

And I hope you have an inhaler because I'm not reviving you!

-[chuckles] -Hey, Penny, introduce me to your girl.

Gabrielle?

[grunting]

Uh... Okay.

Gabrielle, this is KG.

KG, this is Gabrielle.

-How you doing, Gabrielle? -[giggles]

-By the looks of it, you're fine. -[giggles]

-[Maya] Excuse me. -[gasps]

Have we met before? Because you look a little familiar, sis--

Uh, come on, everybody. Let's just go to the rides!

Julie, I'm having second and third thoughts about this.

-I don't wanna do it. No! -Come on. It'll be fun!

[both screaming]

We pulled nine G's.

That's three times what an astronaut pulls.

-Let's go again. -[both screaming]

-[grunting] -[buzzer sounds]

There's no way I missed that.

I'm telling you, that peg is too big.

Well, if you toss the hubcap at a 37-degree angle

with a velocity of three feet per second with just a little rotation,

it'll be impossible for you to miss.

Yo! I ain't got time for all that.

Well, then you ain't got time to win me no prize, nephew.

-Hmm? -[clears throat]

Ooh. Where'd that come from?

I mean, it's just math. Watch.

[grunting]

[kid] Whoa!

Whoa!

-[bell dinging] -[cheering]

[gasps]

-[all cheering] -[? upbeat music playing]

? I am loud No, we won't be quiet ?

? Turn it down Then we ain't gonna like it ?

Come on, guys.

Penny, we don't know how to dance.

That's okay. Nobody knows how to dance.

-Whoo! -Hey!

Ignore them, they're just showing off. Just have fun.

[? dance rock music playing, Oingo Boingo "Weird Science"]

Whoa! That's my song.

-Whoa! -Uh...

I guess they do know how to dance.

[chuckling]

Kinda.

Julie, your skin has cleared up!

Yeah, you're right. It has.

Yes, it has. [laughing]

[record skips, music stops]

[all gasping]

You know the rules. You're Wiz Kids.

No associating with the lower 98. Time to leave.

-We don't wanna go! -Please, can we stay?

Oh, no, my humorless cyborg. These children have spoken.

-Security! -[screeching]

All right. You heard the man.

-Let's go, bookworm. -What?

[glitching] How dare you touch me,

-you low IQ buffoon. -[Oscar screaming]

[grunting]

Ahhh!

Ahhh! Ahhh! What are you?

[screams]

-Trudy! -[crashing]

[Oscar groans]

No, no, no. Wizard! Bubba!

[bell ringing]

Where is everybody?

Hey, guys, It's going down in the gym right now.

What's going down?

An emergency school board meeting. They're about to squabble!

Hey, I don't even wanna go to school.

Why would I go to a school board meeting?

Girl, will you come on?

[people screaming]

[man] I will not stand for this.

My child is a...

Hey, y'all. What's going on?

The school shut down the Wiz Kids program

after Professor Doll's tragic malfunction last night.

[whirring, electrical crackling]

Parents, please respect one another.

I'm sorry, but I do not pay my taxes

for my child to attend class with the minimum wage crowd.

Parents, please!

Look, I pay taxes, too,

and I think it's just fine if the kids wanna go to a normal school.

Besides, these Wiz Kids are being overworked.

That's because you're underachiever.

There's no such thing as being overworked.

Quiet. Uh, please be respectful.

[parents shouting]

I said quiet, you forgotten Gen Xers.

[feedback squeals]

Thank you. The board will consider all opinions in making their decision.

You better make the right one.

And the board and I will not respond to threats.

-[parents shouting] -[grunting]

[parents shouting]

We pay your taxes, you better listen to us.

[shouting] Quiet!

[all gasping]

When I first became a Wiz Kid,

I thought it was unfair that we had everything

the other students didn't have.

-But after being there... -[groans]

...I realized that we didn't have what they had.

A life!

Yes, getting a great education and going to a good college is important,

but so is growing up and becoming a fully realized human being.

But you can't get that when you're studying 27/8

and being taught by an android.

You will find-- You will find--

No offense, Professor Noah Doll.

You will f-- You will find-- [powers down]

Separate is not equal.

We all have talent and potential

that needs nurturing and encouragement.

I guess what I'm saying is we're all Wiz Kids

and should be treated as such.

[all cheering]

[whirring, glitching]

But whatever you do, I hope you keep the Wolfgang Puck cafeteria,

'cause the food is bussin.

-[laughs] -Yeah! Penny, you should run for office.

Way to preach, Penny. I couldn't have said it better myself.

[all cheering]

Attention, everyone.

The school board has made its decision.

The Wiz Kids can rejoin the general student population.

-Whoo! Let's go! -[all cheering]

And finally, all our resources

will be available to all our students.

And that includes the Wolfgang Puck cafeteria.

[all cheering]

I am so proud of you, Penny.

Dang, I guess we all going back to regular school now. Okay.

It's time to get real.

[unzips]

Yo, Nubia?

Yeah, it's me. What, you got a problem with it, homie?

Nah, I'm with it.

Lunch at Wolfgang's on me.

All right, yo! Let's go. I'm hungry.

Whoa! Wait a minute.

Who's gonna pay for this robo teacher tearing up my amusement park?

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Proud.

I forgot to mention the school board

voted to compensate you for your damages.

Here's the check.

[? triumphant music playing]

Five hundred thou-- [grunting]

I'll be taking that. Thank you very much, Oscar Proud.

Wizard, what are you doing? That's my check.

And it'll be just enough to pay off your loan

and the 2% interest you accrued.

2%? How much can that be? I only had the loan for a week.

Ooh! It's a lot because the Wizard compounds hourly, y'all.

But the good news is,

the not-so-amusing amusement park and your house...

are once again yours.

No, no, no. You can keep the park

and the house. I'll take the check.

[Wizard Kelly] I'm sure you would. [laughs]

He got me again.

He got me again. [crying]

[Wizard Kelly] That boy's crazy, y'all.

[? theme music playing]

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