Original subtitles

[? upbeat rap song playing, Young Toddler "Doody Booty"]

[Talia] At this very moment, Young Toddler is the hottest thing in rap.

Why have I never heard of him?

Oh! I've heard of him, Talia. [laughs]

[Talia] Did I ask about you?

-Mm-mm. -You're fired.

[reporter 1 screams]

-[all gasp] -Okay, people. Okay.

Okay. Why have I never heard of him?

This Young Toddler has more views than Bad Bunny.

He simply must be on the cover of Teen Rogue.

Yet not one of you can tell me who he is.

Now, somebody better start talking or I'm gonna start firing people.

Excuse me, but haven't you already done that?

[reporter 2] No, no!

No, no! No! [screams]

Again, who is Young Toddler?

A teenager with a diaper rash?

I know, I'm fired. I just really couldn't help myself.

[Talia] Okay, so this is the deal.

I don't care how you do it,

but I need to know everything there is to know about Young Toddler.

What he eats for breakfast, what time he goes to bed,

can he tolerate lactose

and has there been a playdate with Blue Ivy?

But most importantly,

I want him

on the cover of the next issue of Teen Rogue.

Now, act like real reporters and find me the real

Young Toddler.

Failure is not an option.

He's out there somewhere.

Bathroom's down the hall, little girl.

Now, as an extra incentive,

whoever brings me an exclusive with Young Toddler gets...

A promotion?

No. Gets to keep their job, which you don't have anymore.

Oh, come on!

What are you waiting for?

Bring me the real Young Toddler!

Eavesdropping on my conversation?

Uh... [splutters] No, ma'am.

I am combing your bear like you asked.

By the way, how long am I gonna be doing this?

Until your daddy gives me back the 300 grand

he and, ugh, that little grubby friend got for my puppies.

Well, he don't have it.

The Singing Judge took the puppies from my daddy

and gave them to Papi.

He sold them and went to Wiz Vegas with Suga Mama and that was that.

Too bad. You're gonna be brushing that bear for about 300,000 years, then.

I can find out who Young Toddler is.

You have my attention.

Well, I don't know exactly who he is, but--

I see a spot on the rug.

But I know who runs his record label.

Give me a week and you'll have your exclusive.

So what do you want out of this?

Uh, did I say I wanted something?

Baby, I know a shakedown when I hear one.

How do you think I got to where I am?

What do you want?

Well, I don't want to comb your rug no more.

Look at you.

You got a little woman in you.

You remind me of me. Huh.

And I want to be a paid writer for Teen Rogue.

You're fired.

Fine.

I'm sure M Magazine would be interested in finding out who Young Toddler is.

Well played.

You've got three days.

I want to publish before his WizDome show this weekend.

But if you don't--

I know, I'm fired.

Oh, no, no. Nothing that easy.

You're gonna comb my bear rug, sharpen my pencils

and lick my envelopes until you're drooling

and wearing diapers like Young Doody Booty himself.

Now, be gone.

[chuckles nervously]

Hey, sounds good. You can count on me, Talia.

I got this! [chuckles]

[panting] Oh!

[singing] ? The... Proud... Family... What? ?

? You and me will always be tight ?

? Family every day and every night ?

? Even when you start acting like a fool ?

? You know that I'm lovin' every single thing you do ?

? I know I can always be myself ?

? When I'm with you more than anybody else ?

? Every single day that I'm headed off to school ?

? You know there's no one I love as much as you ?

-? The family ? -? The family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll make you scream! ?

? They'll make you wanna sing! ?

? It's a family thing, a family A proud, proud family ?

? Proud family ?

? They'll push your buttons! ?

? They'll make you wanna hug 'em ?

? A family, family Proud, proud family ?

? Proud, proud family ?

[Oscar screams]

[ringing]

[grunts]

Nubia, Olei, Gina, hold up.

What's good, Proud?

Um, I have a favor to ask.

Now, you know we ain't in the favor business, Proud.

Yeah, but you're in the record business,

and I need a face-to-face with Young Toddler.

[scoffs] Yeah, you and me both, Proud.

What do you mean? He's signed to your label.

No, not no more.

We gave him his start and as soon as he got a little heat,

-that fool went independent. -[boy gasps]

Well, who is he? I want to interview him for Teen Rogue.

Man, who knows?

We did everything by text.

But look, if you find out, you hit us up, 'cause, uh...

We want to talk to him.

-[school bell ringing] -[Penny chuckles awkwardly]

[Penny groans]

Talia's never gonna give me this promotion.

I've asked every kid at school who Young Toddler is and nobody knows.

He's Young Toddler.

No, his real name.

It's the name he chose, so it's real.

Okay, it's his real name.

What I need is the name on his direct deposit.

I know he goes to Willy T. Ribbs

because he performed at the Back to School Kickback.

Let's figure it out by process of elimination.

We know he can't be me.

He's definitely not Billy,

and he's certainly not any of you.

Come on, Michael, I'm serious. That's not really helping me.

It's called deductive reasoning, Penny.

Just go around the school

and whoever's not on the "Can't Be" list,

that's who it can be.

I only have three days.

I can't go around to every kid in the school.

Girl, you should have just come straight to me.

I know everything about Young Toddler.

What do you know about Young Toddler?

[? upbeat rap song playing, Young Toddler "Doody Booty"]

[music fading]

[gasping]

Zang, Dijonay,

I am impressed and scared all at the same time.

But none of this tells me who Young Toddler is.

Well, that ain't all.

I've got photos.

You've got photos?

-Yeah, girl, I follow him. -[kids laughing]

Yeah, but so do five million other people on Holla'gram.

No.

I follow him in real life.

Huh?

You know, like down alleyways, up on rooftops,

to the market, to the cleaner's,

driveways...

Okay, now I'm scared.

Come here, girl. Check out my work.

I shoot at a low f-stop to get the blurry background.

[Penny] Why are all these of his hands?

Well, he was kind of pushing me out of the way.

You know, like, love taps. [giggling]

Oh! You mind if I take this?

[croaking] Uh...

Yeah, I mind.

-[phone ringing] -[family chattering]

Hi. I'm Penny Proud.

I'm a reporter for Teen Rogue.

I was wondering,

do you remember giving anyone a pacifier palm tattoo?

Okay, everybody, dinner is served.

-Bon appetit. -[Penny] I'm a reporter

and I protect my sources.

-[in-game sounds] -No, I said protect, not pay.

Don't hang up! How much are we talking?

[babbling]

-I said, "Bon appetit." -[chattering continues]

-All right, that's it. -[protesting]

Everybody put away all phones and electronic devices now!

I was just about to win Wiz Crush!

I never beat the Wiz at anything!

But, Mama, I need that for work!

No buts.

Dinnertime is the time for us to connect as a family,

not connect on our phones.

The time for us to actually talk to one another.

We talk all the time, Trudy!

I'm not playing, Oscar.

Okay, okay. You want to talk? Let's talk.

How you doing, baby girl?

Fine. How you doing, Daddy?

Fine.

Bebe and Cece, how you doing?

[both] Fine.

There. We talked. Now, give me back my phone.

I'm talking about a real conversation, Oscar.

[groans] You don't like wrestling, you don't like snacks.

You hate Sanford and Son reruns.

What are we going to talk about, Elizabeth-- Ow!

We can talk about how our day has been.

Well, the day was turning out just fine until we started talking.

-[cell phone buzzing and ringing] -Huh?

Mama, I gotta get that. It's important.

Nothing is so important it can't wait until after dinner.

No, you don't understand.

Talia's gonna promote me to writer

if I can find out Young Toddler's true identity,

except nobody knows.

But I found out he has a tattoo.

I called every tattoo shop in Emilyville

and that could be the call that'll change my life.

Please, Mama, please!

[giggles] Penny!

-Oh! -Hello?

Hello? Yes, yes, yes, this is Penny Proud.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[less excitedly] Uh-huh.

Aw, thank you.

Well?

[sighs] They didn't recognize the tattoo.

[wails] I don't know what to do. I'll never become a writer.

Why don't you call Igloo? He's great at finding things.

I thought he was an attorney now, Oscar.

Surprisingly, he never passed the bar exam.

Now he's back to being a mall cop/private eye/broke.

So I know he's available.

Fine, just call him.

Well, I would if I had my phone. Hint hint.

Daddy. [chuckles]

-Uh-huh. -[dialing and ringing]

Who is it? How'd you get this number?

It's me, Oscar. The only person that ever calls you.

Man, I told you, don't call me on this line.

Now, I'll contact you as soon as I get Freddy Frito's secret recipe.

I done hired some little bad kids to steal it for me.

[splutters] Uh, we're on the speaker phone.

Ix-nay on the Frito-fay. Olei?

Oops, my bad.

Look, I need you to come over. I got a job for you.

-A paying job. -A paying job?

[Igloo] Uh, it's either a binky or a Ring Pop.

We know what it is, Igloo. We want to know whose hand it's on.

Oh, I don't have a clue, man. It could be anybody's hand.

You need to talk to the hand.

I hope you don't think I'm gonna pay you for this!

Mr. Igloo, please!

If you could just find the tattoo shop that did this,

maybe they could tell us whose hand it is.

You got a smart girl there, Oscar.

Sure, I can do that... for a price.

I don't have any money.

And you know my situation, Igloo.

I thought you said this was a paying gig.

You know, forget it.

Break me off with some of that brisket and it's a deal.

Touch my brisket and you are gonna pull back a nub.

Oscar, now, you better handle your woman.

-What did you just say, man? -Igloo, run! She's crazy!

[Trudy] You better get off of me-- You better run, Igloo!

Oh, do you have any drippings or--

This is a bit dry, Trudy.

-[Trudy growls] -[Oscar screams]

-I'll call you when I find out something. -[Oscar screams]

[Igloo whistles]

[sighs]

[cell phone buzzing and ringing]

Meet me at Chang's Gas Station, Penny Proud.

Bring my payment.

Mr. Igloo, did you find out who the hand belongs to?

Are you forgetting something?

One brisket sandwich with extra drippings.

The way you like it.

I like the way you do business, Penny Proud.

He's inside. You can't miss him.

Mm! This is good! You remembered the drippings, didn't you?

Hey, Billy. Is anybody in here?

Yeah, you.

I know I'm here. I was just wondering...

[sighs] Never mind. Just give me a Wiz Finger.

[register dings]

[Penny gasps]

You got a pacifier tattoo?

Billy?

You're Young Toddler?

You're Young Toddler?

[shushing] My dad will hear you.

Is that why you're hiding your identity?

Chill, Penny. Not in here.

Step outside.

Of course I don't want my father to find out.

But that's not the real reason.

Well, what's the real reason? Oh, hold that thought.

-[cell phone beeps] -What?

Nah, no interview. Stop the recording.

Okay, okay, but you've got to tell me, what's the real reason?

The mystery? The freedom? Stage fright?

Some of all that, yeah.

But the real real is, nobody's checking for an Asian rapper.

What? Come on, that's not true, Billy.

People don't care about that.

Really?

Do you remember the talent show last year?

'Cause I do.

-[applause] -[Hightower] And our next performer

for the Willy T. Ribbs Middle School talent show,

who will be performing an original rap,

-is Billy Chang. -[audience applauding]

[? upbeat rap song playing, Young Toddler "Doody Booty"]

[audience booing and jeering]

Children, children, children. Now, be nice.

[booing and jeering continue]

Quite, you future DMV workers!

But those were just a few haters.

The rest of us don't see it that way at all.

No, you don't see me at all.

When you were in here the other day looking for Young Toddler,

you didn't even ask me if I knew him

or even consider that I could be him.

Okay, you got me. I'm sorry.

But, Billy, you're the hottest rapper on the planet.

Nobody is gonna care.

You don't have to hide behind a disguise.

Oh, yeah? Name me an Asian rapper that people like.

Uh... The Wu-Tang Clan.

They're not Asian, Penny. You just proved my point.

Well, I'm sure there's someone out there.

But nobody as big as Young Toddler.

And that will all go away if you tell people who I am.

Come on, Billy.

At least give people a chance.

I have, Penny.

Sorry, you can't write that article.

[school bell ringing]

So did you find the real Young Toddler, Penny?

Yeah, I did.

[all] Who? Who, Penny?

Come on, Penny. He's my future husband.

Sorry, y'all. He doesn't want me to reveal his identity

because it would destroy his career.

Then you can't tell, Penny.

But on the other hand, if I do reveal who he is,

Talia will make me a writer.

I'll be the youngest reporter at Teen Rogue,

and I'll have enough money to move out of my daddy house.

I mean, my mama house.

Then you have to tell, Proud.

-[yelps] -You can at least tell me.

Without me, you would've never found him.

Penny, even if Talia makes you a reporter, she's still going to fire you.

You should sell it to TMZ.

No. Celebrities deserve their privacy.

They're people, too.

Come on, Proud.

It's not like you're a real reporter anyway.

You can say who he is.

You're always hating, girl.

[all arguing]

[PA announcer] Welcome to the Emilyville Zoo.

[Shuggie] Well, I mean, Shuggie can relate.

I mean, because not everyone accepts Asian guitar-playing pandas, either.

Shuggie should be at the top of the charts right now, you know that?

But I digress, yeah.

But if he don't want you to tell nobody, Penny, you can't tell.

But then, Talia won't make me a reporter.

I don't know what to do, Shuggie.

Well, see, you've got to decide what kind of reporter you want to be.

And then you got to decide what kind of person you want to be.

And you have absolutely got to tell me

where you got this poke bowl from, girl, because it is fire.

Mm! Delicious.

You can't write that article.

You've got three days.

[typing continues]

[footsteps approaching]

-[snipping] -[liquid pouring]

[screams]

[screams]

[both scream]

-What is that? -Close your eyes! Close your eyes!

-[objects clattering] -[people scurrying]

Don't you ever walk into my office without knocking.

Never again. You don't have to worry about that.

Have you discovered Young Toddler's true identity or...

are you here to comb my rug?

Either is fine with me.

-I have, but I can't-- -Brilliant.

"The real Young Toddler.

"Young Toddler remains a mystery, but his music...

"isn't."

[splutters] What is this nonsense?

You told me you knew who Young Toddler was.

I didn't lie. I did find out.

But I can't tell you.

What? What? Why not? That doesn't even make sense. What?

He asked me not to.

Oh, child. That's ridiculous.

Don't you think Nixon asked Woodward and Bernstein not to tell?

You're a reporter. That's your job.

I'm sorry, but I gave him my word.

And I gave you my word.

I was gonna make you a reporter.

I saw myself in you, Penny.

I guess I was wrong.

Do you know what you're giving up?

Get to combing, girl.

No, thank you.

I quit.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

You win.

You are a reporter.

-Really? -Yes.

[squeals] Oh, thank you, thank you--

And now you're fired.

-What? -Get to stepping.

[audience cheering]

[? upbeat rap music playing]

[screaming] Oh, my God, Penny!

-These are great seats! -They must've cost a fortune.

Nope. Young Toddler gave them to me.

I guess you didn't write the article, did you?

My girl.

No, I wrote the article.

I just didn't out him.

So how did Talia take it?

Actually, she made me a reporter.

-Really? -And then she fired me.

[laughing]

Oh, come on. It's funny.

[music changes]

[audience chanting] Young Toddler!

[audience cheering]

[Young Toddler] Yo, yo, yo, what's up, Emilyville?

We love you, Young Toddler!

-Love you, too. -[girl squeals]

Yo,

before we get started, I want to share something with you.

A friend of mine told me the other day

it was time for me to be myself.

That you, my audience,

would not care.

So,

Emilyville,

here I am.

[audience gasping]

[audience murmuring]

[all] Billy Chang?

[audience murmuring]

[laughing]

LaCienega, what's so funny? You know you ain't right.

Is it just me?

Penny gets fired protecting his identity,

and he tells anyway. [laughs]

She's right, you know. That is pretty funny. [chuckles]

[audience booing]

Ay, yo, DJ Blaze, drop that beat.

[? upbeat rap song playing, Young Toddler "Doody Booty"]

[audience applauding]

? I guess the cat's out the bag ?

? Got my cash out and my tag ?

? Say goodbye to Young Toddler Spitting raps out the lab ?

? See, I was always stressing on complexion ?

? And the truth about my culture ?

? What if all you jokers found out and laughed? ?

? But now it's all gravy ?

? It's Billy, I'm still the same baby at the crib ?

? Cradle rocking Going crazy ?

? And now it's on y'all Are you rocking with the Asian? ?

? No chain or diapers Still the hottest with the ladies ?

? And if my real fans come for the ride ?

? We gonna take it to the top Billy's eyes on the prize ?

? 'Cause the color doesn't matter if the homie can rhyme ?

? And if the hater want to take the other side ?

? He's a doody booty ?

-? They ain't coming with the team ? -? Doody booty ?

-? Oh, they don't mess with Baby B ? -? Doody booty ?

-? So if they don't want to believe ? -? Doody booty ?

-? Then they should really get it clean ? -? Doody booty ?

-? They ain't coming with the team ? -? Doody booty ?

-? Oh, they don't mess with Baby B ? -? Doody booty ?

-? So if they don't want to believe ? -? Doody booty ?

-? Then they should really get it clean ? -? Doody booty ?

[audience cheering]

[laughing]

[fan] Thanks, Young Toddler.

You were amazing, Billy. What did I tell you?

Yeah, you were right, Penny.

You've got to give people a chance to be better than they are.

I didn't say all that.

[both laugh]

But it sounded good, didn't it?

[chuckles] You know what?

Let's do that interview.

Too late. I got fired.

Then sell it to somebody else.

As a wise young lady once told me, don't be scared.

Be yourself.

[squealing] Billy! I'm your biggest fan!

Can I get a selfie?

Yeah, it's cool. Hey, wait a minute.

Dijonay! Security!

Hey! Dijonay!

[laughing]

[? theme music playing]

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