Original subtitles

All right, Carly, now she's going.

All

right,

Carly.

Taxi.

All right, Dolly?

How dare you! Oh!

They didn't hit you?

No.

They didn't hit me.

They grabbed my breasts, touched them, pulled at my skirt.

But they didn't hit me.

So what was in the handbag?

Credit card, checkbook, personal bits and pieces.

Any cash? Some loose notes.

Have you any idea how many loose notes? Yes, about 200 pounds worth.

It was... It was a shock.

Yes, I'm sure it was. Something I hadn't expected.

Never expected.

I suppose now you're going to say something like, we'll do all we can.

Well, not exactly.

Can you describe the men? Not really.

They were young.

One was black.

The other was white. That's about all I can remember. And their clothes. What

were they wearing? I really can't remember that. Well, try.

I've just said... You were walking. You were looking for a taxi. That's right.

And the place was crowded. Very crowded. And you were weighed down with

shopping. Yes. Suddenly two youths appeared.

I've just said... Full of fun.

That was my first... What was the white youth wearing?

A pale... A pale blue shirt.

And jeans, I think.

And the black youth? Oh, I don't know.

Something red.

A red jersey, was it? I don't know. Something red.

Thank you.

So what do I do now?

Well, I suggest you go home now, Mrs Baker.

Were your house keys in the bag? I'm afraid so, yes.

Then may I suggest you try and change the locks as soon as you get home?

easily arranged.

And is there someone at home?

Husband, maybe?

My husband hasn't been home to stay for approximately two years.

Oh.

But the porter of the flat, he'll have a key.

Fine.

Sergeant Barrett will see that you get a litone. Thank you.

I'll even do it myself.

What? Drive you home.

Well, now, that's very kind of you. Don't mention it. We'll let you know,

Baker, as soon as we... I think I shall deal with this case myself.

Oh, good.

Oh, I know the time.

I'll let the inspector know as soon as I get back.

This is my desk.

Sorry about the mess.

Anyway, let's get you home.

Just get my coat, Inspector.

Sorry,

I... Yeah.

Thank you, Bob.

Afternoon.

That was Jake, I think. Yeah, that was Jake.

He even apologised for the state of his desk.

The inner door, please.

Oh, yeah.

Otherwise, some fool will start complaining about the lid.

You can drop the lid down there.

Right.

You, uh, play the piano, then. What?

Oh, no, that's just there for decoration.

I, uh... Well, I have to tell you, there's probably little chance you're

your money back.

I realise that.

Notify your bank as soon as possible?

Yes, of course.

What they... what they did to me, would that be called... Robbery? Yes, yes, but

the way that they did it.

Indecent assault?

You mean sexual?

That really was a sexual offence?

If it was as you described it. It was.

Then that's a sexual offence.

Oh.

We'll do our best to find them.

I guarantee it.

Thank you.

I'll find him. I wonder if there'd be anyone there.

The bank?

Would you like to try?

It's not quite drinks time, I know, but if you'd like something.

Pardon? A whiskey, something like that.

Oh, no, no thanks.

I'm strictly a draft beer man myself.

Oh.

Hello.

He grabbed her boobs.

I think it's a little more delicately phrased than that.

Well, I suppose it is a novel way of doing a bit of muddling. No.

Best surprise element in the world, sex.

Well, why not?

Beats kicking the head, doesn't it? Fractured skull.

Yes.

So, if she was groped and robbed, at least she wasn't raped.

Well, and that excuses it?

No. It makes it easier.

What, for her?

Oh. I saw her in the corridor outside.

She had Jake Barrett throwing his pack -a -mack over puddles for her. Nothing

like that. She's too good -looking.

Maybe she shouldn't be wandering around shops all night.

Oh, I see. So she asked to be robbed, did she?

Well, like I said, beats a kick in the head.

What about the violence of sex itself?

That is an unreal female argument. And what's more, you know it. Yes, I know

But now, I'll tell you something that is real.

The violence of argument.

The violence of nagging, the violence of responsibilities, of having too many

worries, of being mortgaged up to the bloody eyeballs.

Nobody ever hears about that, do they? Well, they have now.

Jack

Forbes,

hello?

Who?

Oh, yes, of course I remember you.

When?

Oh, no, I can't. I'm rather busy right now. I'm surprised it isn't even opening

time yet.

What?

No, as I said, I'm not sure when I'll be finished.

Well, I mean, you can wait there, but as I say, I don't... All right.

Right.

Do you remember that inspector from art and antiques? Ah, maybe.

You must have seen me.

I heard it's business.

I can't wait.

So, see him.

I don't really like that man.

Gave me a bad time on the one occasion we worked together.

Where is he now?

Outside the pub.

When it opens, he'll be inside the pub.

And you?

I'll be here, working.

Home, then.

What? Oh, you're not going home?

No, not yet.

Right. See you in the morning.

Night.

Oh, yes. Good night.

Well, I've no cash until the bank's open tomorrow.

What?

I have no checkbook, no card. I'm starving.

Because I was robbed today, that's why.

Mugged, I think they call it.

Yes, dear.

I'm in a state of shock.

So would you mind fetching me and taking me out to dinner?

Thank you.

Yes.

Yes, the police are dealing with it.

They've even provided me with a bodyguard.

Well, you're my husband, dearest.

You should know what time I like to be fetched.

When I took her home in the car, she was really nice.

I mean, she was still upset, like, but... Well, then she would be, wouldn't

after what she'd been through?

When we got there, get out of the lift.

You're straight into her front room.

You should see the place she lives in.

Nice. Oh, handsome.

Really handsome.

I mean, it's got class.

None of that flashy junk stuff.

Just real class.

And she's the same.

She's got class, style, sex.

What?

Well, why don't you stop eulogising, huh? Stop what?

I see what you really mean.

Leave out the poetry and say it. Come on, come on, say it. Say, I fancy the

woman.

There's nothing like that at all. I mean, why must you always break it down

six? What else is there?

A lot of things. Sure, name them.

Come on, name one.

Just say that, haven't I? Class, style... Crap.

What? You're just a bit of rough that fancies a bit of posh. Now, you don't

to dress it up with all sorts of statements you know nothing about.

Thanks.

What do you want to do, Jake?

I want to handle this Mrs. Baker case myself.

Personally. I realize that, but what do you want to do?

Find them.

Just find those who did it.

Then do it right. Do what you should have been doing all along. Share a few

pictures, make a likely list. Have a word with a store assistant.

Door -to -door conversations.

Yes, sir.

Then let it all gather dust in the crime register, undetected.

Possibly. Ten a penny, these sort of crimes. Oh, no, sir. You go through the

motions, do what you can, and then move on to the next one.

One that's probably due to happen sometime today, may have happened last

sometime, we haven't heard about it yet, could be happening right now somewhere.

Come on, Jake.

The woman wasn't hurt.

She still didn't deserve what she got.

Victimology, you heard of that?

No, sir. Some people are natural victims. Did you know that?

Well, therefore, victimology is the study of victims rather than the

perpetrators of crime.

Oh, study of types.

Yeah, I've been doing that all my life. Studying just criminal types?

All types.

Studying people.

I think it's supposed to be part of my job.

Any similar crimes in that area?

Well, a few, going back.

No sexual assault, sir.

And if Mrs Baker invited it, whether she's a natural victim or not, then

had to be someone watching and waiting for people like her.

Faces in the crowd.

They're difficult to find.

Yes, sir.

So, what do you do?

You watch and wait yourself.

Become another face in that crowd.

Watch the watchers.

Do it.

They were young.

One was black.

The other was white. That's about all I can remember.

Ah, your art and antiques man.

What about him?

He just followed.

He said he'd be waiting again.

Same place.

Oh.

Have you considered the fact it might be important?

Yes.

I've also considered the fact that it was that important he can come here to

office.

Mysterious ways.

What? Well, maybe art and antiques work in mysterious ways.

Yes, well, if Inspector Turnbull's anything to go by, they do.

Ignorant, bloody -minded, mysterious ways.

Anyway, your man of mystery is waiting for you in the pub.

I really can't remember that.

I've just... There, you were walking. You were looking for a taxi. That's

The place was crowded. Very crowded. And you were weighed down with shopping.

Suddenly, two youth

appeared. Full of fun.

That was my first... What was the white youth wearing?

The pills.

A pale blue shirt.

And jeans, I think.

And the black youth, I don't know.

Something red.

A red jersey, was it?

I don't know. Something red.

Sorry, I just popped out to get a paper.

Like Roswell.

You're like Roswell.

Dickhead.

Thanks.

So, how's your department these days?

All right, I think.

You've found any good fakes, have you? No, just a few lousy originals.

So, what do you want?

Me? You.

You've been bringing me for the last two days. Urgent business, you said?

That's right.

Well, I mean, was that urgent? Couldn't you have called at the office? Why this

place? Was it supposed to be out of cover work or something?

No.

Well, all right, then. Is that important?

I'm on holiday.

Just a week that's owed me.

And I've only got two days of it left.

That's why it's urgent, you see.

I want to take you out.

Cheers.

I seem to remember that we didn't get on so well the last time we went out

together. That was business. That was different.

Was it? I'm a changed person when I'm off duty.

Polite, amusing, a lot of fun.

Well, nowhere to go. That's right. That's to me.

It isn't that at all.

Look, I'm sorry. I've got to go. I'll be back.

Now, what's wrong with my suggestion?

A lot of things.

It's all very innocent on my part. Well, I'm glad of that.

Just your company.

That's all I want.

I'm sorry.

And I promise I won't build a shop.

Give me a ring next week.

Next week.

So

what

about this evening?

Tomorrow evening.

No good, I... Look, honestly, I'm not just fooling you off for the sake of it.

really do have other things arranged.

Oh, only tomorrow's the last day of my holiday.

So what? There are other days, aren't there? Yeah, but holiday time is

important. Oh, is it now? To me.

And I haven't done a lot with this holiday yet.

I'm sorry.

Oh, look, will you please stop closing doors on me?

Tomorrow is my last day. I just explained, and you've already said that.

Look, if holiday time is so important to you...

Let me have a Christmas.

We can put a cracker together.

Inspector? Hello, sir.

Hiya. We've wrapped up that conspiracy job you're... Yes, sir. This is

new.

Concerning on? No, sir. Just a few simple, basic questions to be asked.

Nothing very involved.

Oh.

Excuse me.

So what about...

What about tomorrow lunchtime?

I am only working until midday tomorrow.

Then that's fine, isn't it?

Oh, is it? Nice way for me to round off the holiday.

I'll be forever grateful to you.

All right.

Thanks. How about one o 'clock?

I shall entertain you as you've never been entertained before.

And on coming up there, I know everybody.

I know everybody.

What have you done?

To everything.

Plus another tent we've taken into consideration.

I reckon they prefer being in Nick to living at home.

Saw their homes?

Terrible. Used to stash everything round her back and then burn most of it in

the incinerator.

Other people's property.

I'd better check this with a stall on this thing.

I'm not sure what these were.

Yes, sir.

But they didn't quite get her out of burning this lot, eh?

No, sir.

All right, you're the lady of England.

Get her down. No, that's all right, sir. I've got to pass that way later. I'll

call in.

You're the arresting officer, aren't you?

Oh, I'll get that all sorted out as well, sir.

Don't worry.

Uh, Jake.

Better get that aimed up before you do any business.

Oh, yeah, I was going to.

Forget it, Clark. I'll take you home as soon as you've made your statement.

Please, yeah.

I think I'll hang on to this for a bit.

Yes? Come up.

Right, then.

Names.

Oh, no, not a silent protest, please.

Names.

Now, look, you do know each other, yeah?

Okay, so what are you then, friends?

Business colleagues?

Brothers.

What? We're brothers.

Now, look, don't go political on me.

I'm not.

Names.

I'm Anderson.

I'm ruling.

Bedroom. I've, um... Well, we've caught those two fellas.

You have?

Oh, marvel.

The, uh... Well, the money's gone, I'm afraid.

Well, you said it was as good as lost, didn't you?

Well, we've recovered the checkbook and cards.

Oh, good.

What on earth have you done to yourself?

Well, this is a smack in the eye. Let me see.

They did that to you when you arrested them?

Yep. You mean you got yourself injured all because of me?

Well, they had to be caught, didn't they?

Yes.

But it's dreadful, people being that violent.

Well, they were violent to you, weren't they?

In their way.

That was different, being molested.

I mean, we all get molested at some time or another, even by our closest

friends.

But that... I'd love to offer you a drink, but I really don't have the time.

see, my second husband is taking me out this evening, and my father -in -law,

too. Your second husband? Yes.

You've been married before?

Once. Oh, before that, yes.

But I'm now married to the third.

Oh, I see.

But the others keep in touch.

We're all good friends.

Best way, don't you think?

Because I hate rows.

Rows are so violent.

Yeah.

Anyway, my real reason for coming here is, well, to take you to Seven Dials.

Save you anything to find your own way there. Why should I want to go there?

To identify your property. Now?

You have to go there.

Oh.

But you've already identified it, haven't you? Hmm?

Now, my name is on the checkbook and the cards. Can't you just drop them in?

No. I'm afraid we can't do that. You have to go there in person, so I thought

I'd give you a lift.

What would tomorrow do?

Tomorrow? I prefer to go tomorrow.

Or the day after.

What's the day after?

Friday. Friday, then. Couldn't I go on Friday?

Well, you could.

Fine. And could you fetch me, then?

Well, I suppose I could.

Lovely.

See you on Friday.

Touchdown as you go out.

Eh? Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Bye.

Cheerio.

Oh,

thanks, love.

It's all right.

Scissors? What?

Am I any useless? Can I borrow yours?

Oh, in the bottom cupboard in the work basket.

Oh, right.

I'm not going to use them to cut paper with, eh?

No, to trim paper.

It's the same thing, isn't it?

Well, of course it isn't.

So what are you doing?

Making something.

Making what?

A collage from a room. Oh, good.

About time we did something to that room.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, show me, then.

What? Show me. Let's have a look at this masterpiece.

All right.

There. That's disgusting.

But don't look at it as sexy as art.

I can't. Well, it's your loss.

You can't hang that in your room.

You want to bet? You'll have disturbed dreams. Oh, I get those already.

It might interest you to know... What?

I'm having lunch with an art expert tomorrow.

Oh, yes?

Well, that'll be a nice intellectual exercise for you.

That'll make a change, won't it?

Apparently, the lady is in no hurry to collect her things.

Good day.

The governor has given him the day off.

Rest the eyes.

Oh, by the way, who wants to see you? Who? Oh, Russell.

Hi, sir.

Maggie.

Oh, what do you want?

This woman who was robbed outside the store, Mrs.

Della Baker.

Yes. Now, these are a banker and credit cards.

Isn't Jay Dillon this guy? Yes, he is.

Well, shouldn't we wait? Well, he's not here. He's got a day off.

A .J. Baker.

Mrs. A. Fuller.

A. Matheson.

Bob, you've got a checkbook. Yeah.

There's no name printed on it, though. It's an emergency one. It is.

Oh, there's an account number stamped on the cover. Uh -huh. There's a credit

card receipt for it.

Three cards, three different names.

I think it's about time you went to see this lady, don't you?

Yes,

they're mine.

Thank you.

We've not quite finished with them yet, Mrs. Baker. But we would like you to

explain.

Explain? Why you happen to have three of these in three different names and a

checkbook with no name on it.

I can soon solve that little problem for you.

Well, seeing as we're out, what are you doing for lunch?

I've got a date.

Yes, I've also got the afternoon off.

One checkbook with an alien.

They were late being printed. That's why I had the temporary one.

All right? All fine.

So what is this?

All part of the price we pay for being robbed?

No, just a few things we have to check up on. For my sake or for yours? Thank

you, Miss Baker.

Now, is that all?

Your property, we take it you're in no hurry to collect it. Too busy to collect

it. Apart from which I thought it was in safe hands.

Until now.

So, uh, when will you be calling?

Tomorrow. The sergeant is coming to fetch me. Oh, is he now?

I'm sure you must know him. He's the friendly, trustful one. Yes, that'll be

Sergeant Barrett.

Well, now, thank you, Miss Baker.

Oh, uh, there is, uh...

There is just one last thing you could do for me, if you will. Those three

signatures, do you think you could jot them down for me for security purposes,

you understand?

A .J. Baker.

A.

Matheson.

A. Fuller.

Happy now? Yes, fine. That's lovely. Thank you. You can call for these

yes? I'm so glad.

Oh, Mrs Baker, tell me, why do you need three names?

Tell you what, you find out.

So, what have you got planned for this last great day of your whole?

Oh, there's plenty of things to do, plenty of places to visit.

Would you like a packet of crisps?

No, thanks.

Bag of plain, please.

Art galleries? Private exhibitions?

What? Well, are we going to one of those?

Now, why should I want to take you to an art gallery?

Thanks. Well, I know. I just thought working in your department... I haven't

gone to an art gallery in my own time for five years.

No, thanks.

I mean, do you pay frequent visits to the Black Museum during your time off?

No.

I go to pubs and listen to people eating crisps.

I'm just asking what you did with your free time, nothing more. I'm just making

a polite conversation.

Do you have a polite conversation?

Vaguely.

Look, I'm interested in art, but only in its proper place.

Or when it's to do with crime, in the wrong place.

Fine.

Oh, well, we've overworked that topic.

Just about.

Well, all right, where are we going, then?

You'll see.

You must be insane.

Me?

Well, it's not even open.

She signed all three.

As easily as you or I would sign her own names. Wasn't worried about it? No.

Well, maybe she has a straight reason for it after all.

Maybe. I mean, women like her, they've always got it made, haven't they?

A bit of class, a bit of style, as Jake would put it.

There's always good collateral in itself.

Three names, three accounts.

Could be just a tax dodge.

Yeah, you're probably right.

All the same, I think I'll make a couple of phone calls, a few discreet

inquiries. I mean, still time for that?

Well, if she can't be bothered to pick up her proper thing, except when it

her, then she's given you time, hasn't she?

Exactly.

here hang on i'll see to the lights where are you going wait there where did

get those keys the manager of course he's a friend a friend well some coppers

have access to pubs and clubs after hours but you have access to this place

that's right well there must be a wealth of information to pick up here in the

dark especially on your own

Now what?

Hang on a sec.

Now.

This should switch on the lanes.

There's one man.

Nearly there.

Oh, good.

You're not on the gun deck of the victory, you know. What?

Haven't you ever played temping bowling?

No.

I've never wanted to.

I'll show you how in a moment.

Now then, which one is it?

Is it really worth it?

What? Of course it's worth it.

Here, try these. They look just about your size.

I'm not wearing those things.

You have to.

Why? What happens if I don't? Do I get chucked out of this godforsaken place?

Oh, I starve.

We'll eat later.

What do you fancy? A hamburger? Something like that?

What?

A hamburger, did you say?

With chips, if you like.

Or a fish and chip lunch. I know a Chinese that does a very good English.

Whatever you want.

Right then.

I'll show you what you have to do.

Choose one that is the correct weight for you and has the right finger span.

See?

Don't get one that's too heavy, otherwise it'll pull your arm out of the

Try a 12 -pounder. Now then, set your thumb at 12 o 'clock. Make sure your

is coming through with the opposite foot.

See?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I mean, this is it.

Fantastic.

This is what?

What I've been waiting for all my life.

You know, a place like this.

Promise of hamburger and chips.

And that.

Mr.

Supercool.

Morning,

Sarge. Morning. Congratulations on the arrest.

Oh, no.

Jane. Hello, Sam.

I thought you were supposed to be at home resting.

I got bored with all that. Thought I'd come back in.

Tied up all the paperwork for Mrs Baker.

So what's going on?

One or two things have happened since you've been away.

Steve!

Now, of course, Gru.

This is my son, Steve.

Inspector Mike Turnbull. Hello, Steve.

OK, I'll go and get us some lunch.

Lunch? This is our part four.

So?

Entertain Mike, will you, please?

I hear you're interested in art.

Mrs Adela Josephine Baker's been married three times.

Well, I know, sir. Oh, she told you?

Yes, sir. She also tells you she's got three separate credit accounts in each

her married names.

What's that got to do with anything? You see, there is a great deal of money in

those accounts.

All right for some, isn't it?

Anyway, we checked out those accounts. Why? Because we weren't sure of Mrs

Baker. That's why. And now you're certain? Oh, we're certain she didn't

money and goods by means of fraud. Aye. You also know, Jake, that Mrs Baker is

still on very friendly terms with all three husbands.

Well, she said... She still goes out with all three. She probably still goes

bed with all three.

Come on, what sort of woman is that?

Well, maybe it's a civilised way to behave.

Civilised? Boy, it's all rows and arguments, isn't it?

Come with me.

If you chose to come back to work, sir, I'm going to make it work.

Yes, sir.

We got her.

Got her?

Did a bit of digging, and I think we got her. Just waiting on a couple of calls

now. You see, we think she married number two, while she was still legally

married to number one. Which means that her divorce from number two is also null

and void, so is her marriage to number three. We'll get up in stones.

Civilized?

When you say it like that... That's exactly how a prosecuting counsel is

to say it, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

Do you recall me talking to you a day or so ago about natural victims?

Yes, sir.

I've just begun to realise who the natural victim is in this particular

It's you.

You let yourself get taken in by that high -class whore.

You even dance attendance on her when you're off duty. Well, when we've got

little bit of business tied up, you can do just that.

Sir? You can go up there to see her.

Bring her in for questioning.

Right then, Jake.

Things to do.

First... We'll need a certified copy of the original marriage register.

Then we'll need evidence of persons present at all three marriages.

So, what do you think of the modern primitive paintings?

They're OK if you like cave drawings.

Show him, Steve.

What?

Show Mike your latest effort.

All right.

So what am I about to see?

Well, you don't seem to be very interested in talking about real art.

No. Even though you're probably one of the best judges of it.

That's right. So I thought in future I'd stop trying to impress you with my

limited knowledge of paintings.

Fair enough.

Here we are.

Now, that's not bad.

In fact, it's quite good.

Thanks.

You see...

A lot of people make mistakes with their collages because they leave the lines

and the hard edges in.

Oh?

And that way it can look like a glorified scrapbook.

But you kept the lines soft, so it's hard to see where one picture starts and

the other ends.

And that's good.

That leg.

Yes.

Maybe you could have put it in front of this girl, behind her backside.

Oh, yes.

And that girl there, you wasted her.

Perhaps you could use this mirror to break up... This area.

Morning,

ma 'am. Morning, ma 'am.

Oh, good morning, Jake.

Ma 'am. Congratulations on that arrest.

Thanks.

It, er... Well, it looks like I've got another one all lined up.

Oh, Mrs Baker.

Yeah, and, er... Well, I have to go and bring her in.

How can Jake bring her in?

You've been to her place?

Yes, I have, with Russell.

Lovely flat.

Can afford it, yeah.

Well, I liked you, though.

I really did.

Yeah, I realise that.

I even had some daft ideas you might have.

Well,

I wanted to be a friend.

A friend of mine.

Just that. That would have done.

Nothing more.

Will you come with me?

Please?

We got the confirmation this morning.

Chelsea Registry Office.

April 76.

So what harm has been done?

Harm? Yes.

Has any one of my husbands complained?

Or their lady friends?

Mrs Baker, the law states that a man or a woman is entitled to only one spouse,

except in cases where a man's religion entitles him to a plurality of wives.

How's your poor eye?

So, much better, thanks.

Oh, good.

The law also states that an act of bigamy is a profanation of the solemn

ceremony of marriage.

Such profanation being regarded as an outrage to public decency. The law says

that? Yes.

And do you say it yourself?

Do you really believe in such archaic preaching?

Because I have never harmed anyone in my life.

Not physically.

Do you know that?

There was no harm done on the three occasions that I got married, and none

those marriages broke up.

My husbands are the best of friends because of those marriages.

And all three still care for me, still are fond of me.

Your second and third husbands, are they aware they've committed bigamy? Of

course they are.

Oh, and that's an outrage too, I suppose.

I was attacked in the street, I was robbed, I was harmed.

Because of that, I and two very dear friends are about to be persecuted by

law.

That is the outrage.

Think you'd better get dressed, Mrs Baker.

I rarely get dressed before midday.

Why did you never consider a legal divorce?

I had considered it.

Once.

Then I couldn't be bothered.

I like the wedding days.

All three were very happy days.

The kind of days that are worth remembering.

And one can't really say the same for those days when relationships come to an

end.

Even though no harm is done.

Are you married?

Widowed.

Easy way out for you, then.

Husbands two and three. Yeah, I'll see to that.

Have I time for a bath?

Just. Thank you.

Were you and your husband happy?

Very. All the time? No.

Usual. Good times, bad times.

When my parents first got married.

They probably had one or two good times.

But I wouldn't know about that.

What I do know, though, is that from my earliest recollection, there was never

one good time, never one happy time between them.

That was their fault, no one else's.

Most certainly not mine.

At least they never said it was.

But there was nothing.

There was no fun, no friendliness, no warmth between them, nothing.

And yet they stayed married.

They stayed that way all their lives.

Stayed that way till they grew old and died together.

So you made quite sure that your life wasn't going to be like theirs.

Absolutely.

I have three husbands.

One makes me laugh.

Always has.

One is the warmest, kindest person I've ever known.

And the third is the gentlest and most unselfish of lovers.

I chose them.

I chose them for those qualities.

I needed that.

And all three are my dearest friends.

They look after me.

They provide well for me. Lucky you. Yes, lucky me.

Because I managed to find three of the very best.

The best ever.

I'll be with you in a few minutes.

You have to admit it.

She's got a lot of things right.

Oh, I'll admit that, all right.

There's also a lot of things missing, like three perfect husbands.

And if life's been so good to her, why hasn't at least one of them stayed?

Why is she so alone?