Original subtitles

Do you ever wear glasses, Sergeant?

Not for observation purposes, madam. Answer the question, please. Do you

repeat, ever wear glasses? If I'm reading, yes.

Yet you still say there's nothing wrong with what?

You still maintain there's nothing wrong with your sight.

Say, maintain? What the hell does it matter?

It maintains more legalistic, as the sort of word barristers would use.

You mean the sort of word Brian thinks they use? Well, he should know he's been

in court often enough.

With not a barrister in sight?

Just a couple of tatty solicitors picking through the sordid remnants of

lives. Sordid?

That's your remnant, surely.

Divorces are always sordid, darling. The division of the spoils is a degrading

process, no matter what the result.

Now, where was I?

Ah, you still maintain there's nothing wrong with your sight. Yes, you still

maintain there's nothing wrong with your sight. I can see just as clear as you

can, madam, when the defendant ran down...

Miss Martin, you're bankrupt by hand.

Now, what... What intrigues me is how many of the great unwashed managed to

out where you live.

Do you remember that fetishist who wanted to know what you wore under your

and gown?

You spelt my name wrong, didn't you?

At least whoever sent me this bothered to look it up in the... Ah!

Mum, I've, um... I've brought someone home.

Oh, the invisible man?

I've got to put his bandages on. I know who he is.

Well, come on. She won't eat you.

She had red meat for dinner.

Hello, Mrs Fultz.

You must be Lois. Right.

An only child about to add 3A levels to a 6O level can run 100 metres in under

13 seconds and is an ace at disco dancing.

Steve told me you were good, but not that good.

No, as much as I'd like to impress you with my Sherlock Holmes bit, I've been

well briefed.

Come on, sit down.

You know I want to talk to you.

You're thinking of joining the police force? Yeah, only thinking about it.

Steve, why don't you go and make us some of your dreadful tea?

Oh, fine.

You should taste the stuff they have to drink down up the nick.

If you do decide to join, bring your own flask.

So, how can I help?

Could you talk to my father?

He's against the idea?

He's not crazy about it.

Well, I can't say I blame him.

He could be hit by some of the flak. It's not that.

What then?

He doesn't think the job's good enough.

There they are again.

Subjects reappeared together 8 .34.

Embraced amorously.

She can't have been much of a copper.

Why? We've been here every morning this week and she still hasn't sussed us.

She has other things on her mind.

Yeah, like if I was shacked up with Reco Welch, I'd be too busy to clock someone

keeping oboe on us outside.

We'll eat something, Marcia. It's going to be a long day.

I'm not hungry.

Oh, come on, forget it.

Show must go on.

Someone threatened to kill me, for God's sake.

You're over -dramatising. Am I?

Preview of coming attraction.

What do you suppose that means?

Some nut gets its kicks out of scaring women in the public eye.

So you don't take it seriously?

No.

Well, I do.

Where are you going?

You can take your car. I'll see you at rehearsals.

I want any petrol.

I want to talk to Bob Croft.

I don't know if he's in yet.

Hang on a second.

Who's I say wants to know?

Tell him it's Helen.

Helen?

Croft.

How many black coppers are there?

What?

How many black coppers are there?

What, in the whole country?

About 400.

And black WPCs?

I don't know.

Between 30 and 40.

That's it.

No wonder it was a them -and -us situation.

Well, come on, Maggie. It's not a want of trying, is it?

We've had recruiting drives, publicity campaigns, race relations seminars.

Most of them just don't want to know.

Steve brought a black girl to see me last night from the youth club. Sush you

up. Hope you used all your feminine wires.

It wasn't that easy. She has parental opposition.

It's the old story.

No, it's not that.

Her father doesn't think we're good enough for her.

Oh, really?

He could be right.

She's obviously very intelligent.

Well, you may find it hard to believe, but intelligence has never actually

disqualified anyone from joining the police force. No, I mean, she's

exceptional. Even for a white girl. Oh, no, forget I said that.

So, why's she doing the old bill a favour?

I don't know. Whatever the reason, she obviously needs some support.

Which you intend to provide.

I think it might be worth following up.

Her dad's on night shift, so I promised to go round, I don't know, about

lunchtime.

Morning.

It's Miss Bancroft. What can I do for you?

Not a lot, darling. I want to talk to the senior officer.

Oh, what about?

There.

Hey, I saw you on the box last night.

Where are you two strips off that bent copper?

Really turned me on, that.

Good grief.

What were you doing outside my flat this morning?

What? Why were you spying on me?

It's nothing to do with you. There's a garage down the street.

It's a front for ringers.

Come off it, Bob.

If you don't tell me why you were there, I'll go and see your boss.

All right.

I've been keeping Obbo on you all week.

Why?

Because you've been conning me, that's why.

Conning you?

You told the court you had no other means of support, but you have, haven't

Have I?

Well, this bloke you've shacked up with, Perkins, Parkins, whatever his name is.

Well, he's keeping you, isn't he? You're getting your bills paid twice over.

Rubbish.

First of all, I'm not, as you so charmingly put it, shacked up with him.

Now, look, five mornings this week, we've seen him coming out of your drama.

Now, according to my brief, that constitutes cohabitation.

And the court is liable to assume that he's contributing towards the rent.

How much longer are you going to carry on this vendetta?

Not a vendetta.

I just want my rights.

And I want mine, which includes the right not to be harassed by my ex

Nobody is harassing you, Helen.

But I just don't see why I should continue paying you a bloody fortune

week while that ponce of yours is never out of your bed.

A dead cat?

Straight up, Gav.

She asked for the senior officer.

Well, what does she expect me to do, put on an APB?

Why don't you ask her? She's a bit tasty.

Lady I'd most like to be prosecuted by. Yeah, all right, I'll be right down.

Marsha Bancroft.

Would you like to accompany me as a minder? Why not?

Um,

Miss...

Bancroft. Yeah? I'm Chief Inspector Russell.

Hello. This is Detective Inspector Forbes.

How do you do?

Now, I understand that someone has run over your cat.

Oh, it wasn't mine, Mr Russell, but someone killed it all right with mallets

forethought. How do you know that?

Because I know who did it.

Who? My ex -husband.

Have you any proof of this?

No.

But he was waiting for me when I got back from rehearsal yesterday. We had a

blazing row.

Really? What about?

He wanted me to take less maintenance. Now the theory is it's a success.

Bloody cheek. I could be out of work next year.

So why do you think he would send you a dead cat?

To frighten me.

Do you take this as a personal threat?

What else could it be?

He could have been sent by anyone.

It was Brian.

A violent man, is he?

He's certainly capable of violence.

You wouldn't think it to look at him puffing at his pipe and bashing away at

typewriter, but he's got a terrible temper. He threw me across the room just

before we broke up. He fractured my wrist.

Do you want to make a formal complaint?

Yes, what do you think I'm doing?

Warn him off.

Tell him if anything happens to me, you'll hold him responsible.

Right. Maggie.

Right, I'll have a word with him.

I'd better take a fellow with you, love, as a bodyguard.

No, that won't be necessary, Miss Van Crofter.

If your ex -husband should attempt to throw D .I. Forbes across the room,

be the one in need, a bodyguard.

Mr Spencer?

Yes.

I'm Detective Inspector Forbes.

Good heavens.

This is Detective Sergeant Fenton. May we come in?

What is it? What's happened? I'd rather discuss it with Sergeant.

Certainly. Please, come in. Thank you. Go through.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry about that. I didn't know that there were women detective inspectors.

Amazing, isn't it? Next thing you know, we'll have women prime ministers.

Please, there's no disrespect intended. I'm all for women's rights.

Even your ex -wife's?

She what you've come about?

Yes.

You'd better sit down.

Sorry, you'll have to excuse the mess.

I'm in the middle of revising a television script.

You write for Miss Bancroft, Siri, is that right?

Yes, that's correct.

Well, if you can call it writing.

No, it's a load of old crap, really, but it pays the bills.

Oh, I don't think it's crap. I quite like it.

Really?

Yes, well...

I imagine that what you enjoy, Inspector, is the vision of a member of

sex running rings round the male establishment. That's why the thing's so

high in the ratings. You still see quite a lot of Miss Bancroft.

Well, yes, yes. I can't avoid it at the moment, can I?

When was the last time you saw her?

Yesterday evening at her flat.

She asked you to go round?

No, it was nothing to do with the series. It was a personal matter.

What?

I'm sorry, Mr Spencer, you're going to have to be more specific.

Well, she's earning a fortune at the moment. I mean, she doesn't need a penny

from me.

And I thought that I would try to persuade her to take less maintenance.

She, uh, she wouldn't wear that.

That's why you sent her the dead cat.

I'm sorry, what?

After you left, a box was dumped on her front door. Inside was a dead cat with a

note saying, preview of forthcoming attractions.

Is she, um, is she accusing me of that? Yes.

Well, yes, I think you'll have to take that.

with a large pinch of salt, Inspector.

She's an actress.

They thrive on publicity.

I think she'd kill somebody's cat as a publicity stunt.

Do you ever wear glasses, Sergeant?

Not for observation purposes, ma 'am. Answer the question, please. Do you

repeat, ever wear glasses?

For reading, yes.

Yet you still maintain there's nothing wrong with your sight.

I can see just as clear as you can, madam. When the defendant ran across the

yard, he was not more than 20 feet away.

20 feet?

So, with your perfect vision, you can no doubt tell the court what sort of

weapon my client was carrying.

Well, I'm not an expert on firearms, but it looked like a Russian Kalashnikov

assault rifle, what they call an AK -47.

You're not an expert?

No, what is it? Someone who isn't an expert.

For someone who isn't an expert in firearms, that's remarkably precise.

Well, I was right, wasn't I?

It was Nikolashnikov.

You mean Nikolashnikov was found later near the scene of the crime.

But I put it to you, Sergeant, that you never saw my client carrying it.

In fact, you never saw him carrying a weapon of any description, did you? You

concocted that particular piece of evidence after the rifle was found in

to strengthen an extremely flimsy case. My Lord, I really must protest at the

heckling tone my learned friend is using.

It is not Sergeant Malcolm who is on trial here.

I agree, Mr. Nash.

And in order to give her time to change her attitude, I propose at this point to

adjourn for lunch.

Good, good, good, good, good, good.

Much better, Paul, much better.

Uh, thank you, darling.

Uh, this last speech, do you think you could shush it up just a little bit?

Mike something to react to.

He's got plenty to react to. I'm destroying his chief witness. Yes, but

he's complaining because of your hectoring tone. I mean, if you don't

the whole scene goes out the window.

Darling. Can't you read between the lines occasionally?

He is not protesting because of my tone, but because his old case is about to

collapse. If I start screaming like a banshee, I'll lose sympathy.

Right, right, right.

OK, everybody, from the top.

Sorry, can you find this one, please?

You didn't mind me coming in? No, no.

This is my friend, Wesley. Hello.

I hope you don't mind him being here. He wanted to hear what he had to say.

Another possible recruit?

That'll be the day.

Have a seat, Mrs Forbes.

Thank you.

Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee?

Something strong?

No, thank you very much, Mr Hall. I can't stay long. I've got to get back to

station.

Just drop by to give us the sales pitch, then.

I take it you're not buying, Wesley?

You take it right, lady.

Why not?

The police is for you white. They've got nothing to do with us blacks.

Tell me, Mrs Forbes.

What's in it for Lewis?

Well, the same thing that was in it for me, I guess, for IT.

An introduction to life.

But you're white.

Now, what chance has a black girl got of becoming a detective inspector?

You know the answer to that one, James.

No chance at all.

They'll just keep her at the bottom of the heap like any other job.

Now, look, I... I never said it was going to be a bed of roses.

I mean, unfortunately, there is still prejudice about... against women as well

as blacks.

But you're not going to get rid of prejudice by opting out.

You can only do that by taking your full part in the community.

So that's why you want me? Because I'm black?

Well, we'd want anyone as intelligent as you are, Lois.

But I've got to admit that being black is a bonus.

Look, no society can call itself multiracial unless it has a multiracial

force. Why don't you just come clean, Mrs Forbes?

You don't want no genuine multiracial police force.

You just want token nigger window dressing, right?

We want as many black recruits as we can get, Wesley.

And it's not just our prejudice that's stopping them coming forward. It's yours

as well, you know. And you know why.

I got picked up six times last year, right?

I'd be on the street with some of my friends, mind my own business, and a

of your squad cars would scream up and take us in for questioning.

Almost every one of my friends has got a record now, and not one of them

committed a single crime.

And you'll surprise me if you don't cooperate.

Look, you stay your side of the fence, right?

We'll stay ours.

That way we both know where we are.

Would you like some coffee?

Oh, thanks.

Bloody directors.

None of them knows anything about acting.

They're getting younger, too, have you noticed?

Like policemen.

I think youth has its compensations. Oh, I'm sure it has.

Outside the rehearsal room.

Inside, too, sometimes.

Keith's quite talented, really, if only he'd leave the acting to the actors.

It's extraordinary.

After all, you've been playing the part for two years.

Three long series.

If you don't.

Please.

Please. Please.

I

thought

you were going to warn him off.

Ward who of?

Brian. You think he put something in your flask?

Look, I told you, he came to see me last night. He must have slipped into the

kitchen when I was out of the room.

Was he alone for long?

Long enough.

He was in the bath when he arrived, so Keith let him in, then came to fetch me.

Keith?

That's me, Keith Bristow.

Do you mind telling me what you were doing there?

Oh, I spent a lot of time there, rehearsing.

I see.

So you told Miss Bancroft that Mr. Spencer wanted to talk to her, then what

you do? Went down the pub to see if there was going to be fireworks, so I

the hell out of there. And I gave Brian the opportunity he was waiting for.

You should have done as I suggested, Inspector, but the fear of God into him.

said that he didn't send you that cat.

Well, that's the way you solve your crimes, is it? Take the villain's word

had nothing to do with it. He also said that you might have done it yourself as

a publicity stunt.

What?

An unsubstantiated accusation, of course, but then so is yours.

You think I'd poison a fellow actor just to get my name in the papers?

You didn't drink the coffee yourself, did you?

Rachel.

All right, if you won't take my word, take Keith's. Keith, did Brian have the

opportunity to put something in my flowers? Yes, darling.

So did I come to that.

So did you, Miss Bancroft.

So you refuse to believe someone's trying to kill me.

I can't afford not to believe it.

I'll leave Sergeant Fenton here to keep an eye on you. And I'll bear the

contents of that flower.

You stay with her, Jimmy.

Let's hope she's not wasting our time.

Tell me, Sergeant, how does a woman as stupid as that get to be a detective

inspector?

Same way any woman works her way up, madam.

Some stupid man gave her a promotion.

What's the matter with you, Lois?

There's been a you -you, you know.

I wouldn't be working for them. I'd be working for us.

And I think it's a job worth doing, an important job.

And suppose the brothers and sisters don't agree with you now?

Suppose we think the only way to get a better deal is to stay outside their

little world, right?

Until they let us in on our terms.

How many brothers and sisters are you speaking for, Wesley?

99%. You sure?

No, maybe 99 and a half.

Well, there's one thing I'm sure of. I have to do what I think is right.

Well, you know what's going to happen, don't you? You're going to go out there,

right? You're going to nick a white guy, he's going to call you a black bitch.

You nick a black guy.

He's going to call you a white nigger.

You'll be in the middle of no man's land. That's where we all should be. Not

sniping at each other from behind barriers.

And what about your folks now? They could lose a lot of friends, you know.

Maybe even make some enemies.

Yes. I wanted to talk to Mr Spencer.

I'm Mrs Spencer.

Can I help?

I'm Detective Inspector Forbes. I called this morning.

Oh, yes.

He told me. Please, come in.

Thank you.

Oh.

Brian's working, as you can hear.

Past his two -fingered typist in the West.

He didn't tell me he'd married again.

Perhaps the subject didn't come up.

Yes, well, perhaps if you could tell him that I'm here... Oh, he'll be out in a

minute. He always finishes dead on half past six.

How about a coffee?

Fine, thanks.

Quite a reversal of roles, then. You go out to work, he stays at home.

I'm a literary agent.

I represent some of the highest -paid hacks in television.

Including your husband?

He's not a hack, he's a serious playwright.

Would be if he didn't have a financial millstone round his neck.

Miss Bancroft.

Right.

How can he do any decent work when he has to pour money into that...

bottomless pit every week. I mean, why doesn't he go back to court and have the

maintenance order vary due to the change in her circumstances?

He's already done that.

But Marcy insists that the two boys go away to boarding school because of her

career.

If we ever have children, we'll be lucky to afford the school meals.

It sounds like rough justice.

It's not any kind of justice.

Your husband feels very angry about it.

Right.

But if you think he'd kill a cat to get... I'm afraid it's a little more

this time, Mrs Spencer.

Past time's past.

Time he came up for air.

Oh, dear.

Am I in trouble again?

Just a few more questions, Mr Spencer.

Now, you went to see Miss Bancroft last night.

Yes, that's right, yes.

Where was she when you arrived?

Well, I'm sorry, how do you mean, where was she?

She was having a bath.

So it was some time before she appeared.

Five minutes.

During which time you were alone?

Yes.

And you could have gone into the kitchen, unobserved?

Now, look, what the hell's all this about? Please just answer the question.

Well, yes, all right, I could have gone into the kitchen, unobserved. And did

you?

And did you put something in Miss Bancroft's flask?

Arsenic, do you mean?

Now, you tell me.

Why had something happened to her? No, not to her.

Someone else drank it, a fellow actor, a Mr.

Redding. Is he all right?

We don't know yet.

It's wonderful stuff, isn't it? Now, I really can't take this seriously,

Inspector. I think that you'll find that Paul will recover.

What exactly do you mean?

Marsha would never have used poison.

Strong emetic would be equally effective. Are you suggesting this was

another publicity stunt? Yes, yes, I bloody well am. I'm sorry, but it's

obvious, isn't it?

I was alone in the flat with her.

It's perfect.

A perfect set -up.

Bitch never had the guts to take her own medicine.

Wait, Lee.

This is D4.

Hi. The inspector's kid?

Yeah. Well, you were.

I wondered how... I wondered how Mum got on with your dad.

Was she able to swing it?

Don't know.

But she certainly made an impression.

Good.

Well, I hope it works out, Lois.

If the old bill don't get more black recruits, they're in trouble.

Well, what do you know, Sonny?

It stands to reason, doesn't it?

I mean, if you stay on the outside, people are going to think you're against

law. So we've just got to get together. Look, we ain't got to do nothing.

Not till we get our rights.

What rights?

Social rights, economic rights, human rights.

We're not going to support a system that don't support us. We're going to fight

it. OK.

But I can't fight it from the inside.

That's what Mum did.

Look, your mum's a white honky boy. It's easier for her to make her way up. Just

make herself available.

What do you mean?

A good -looking chick, your mum, isn't she?

This wiggler has got to be an inspector.

Here, now, hang on a minute.

Oh! Wesley!

Look, he started it. No, you did. He shouldn't have stuck his big nose in,

should he?

Leave him alone, he's all right.

I'm going to see him home.

But we're going to go out.

Take someone else, you make me sick.

Bed. Not that two -shot.

What the hell does Lindsay think he's doing?

We're in the studio tomorrow. Switch that bloody thing off.

He must have been pissed when he did his camera script.

Look at it.

Keith?

Yeah, I heard you, honey. I just want to watch the end of this.

I said...

Bed. Thank you very much.

Come on, then.

You do extract your pound of flesh, don't you? You're a free agent, darling.

You're perfectly entitled to walk out of here any time you choose.

Now, you could be a little more subtle about it, that's all.

About what?

About letting me know who's boss.

I mean, you could pander to my male ego occasionally.

What about my... A female ego. It's not very flattering when you prefer

television to me.

Marcia, I don't prefer television to you. It's just you can earn a lot

other directors work.

You'll learn much more by watching me, darling.

You'll find it much more enjoyable. I promise you.

Hello?

Hey, Marcia.

What's happened?

It's all right, Mum. It's just a bit of tummy trouble.

I'm sorry, Mrs Forbes.

It was Wesley.

But he came here?

No, I went to see Lois.

And?

He got into a bit of a barney.

It was my fault, I suppose. I shouldn't have gone.

Well, I thought, what's it all about?

It was about you.

Me?

Wesley insulted you.

That's what started it.

How intriguing.

What did he say?

You said you got to be an inspector by wiggling your arse.

Oh, again.

You weren't galloping in on your white charger, did you? You are sweet.

You meant it seriously.

No, he didn't.

It wasn't your mother he was getting at, Steve.

It was the police. Yeah, well, not exactly his flavour of a man, sir, were

He's had a lot of aggravation with his fools.

He's never broken the law, but the police do harass people like him.

They pull them in because they're black. I know, I know. But come on now, you

look at it from our point of view.

Here we are, a mainly white police force. We're completely ignorant of

culture, black traditions, black psychology.

I'm going to take the time to learn.

Wesley would say you've had plenty of time.

Now it's running out.

He's a murderer.

For God's sake, how do you expect me to concentrate with a murderer looking out

from the gallery?

For Christ's sake, Marcia, nobody's been murdered.

I am not going on until you get him out of this studio. But he's a writer.

Either he leaves or I do.

Get this bloody wig off my head, Jenny, or you'll be poisoned to death. What's

all that about?

You. Doesn't want me around, huh? No, I'm sorry, Brian.

Don't worry. Anyone in the producer's room? No.

That's where I'll be if you need me. Loading my blowpipe with poison darts.

You know, that'd be a lot easier, wouldn't it? If she had drunk that

Caustic soda, a corrosive alkali.

Nasty. Yes, very. It burns the mouth and the throat and causes swelling of the

tissues. If he'd swallowed any more, he'd choke to death.

So, how is he?

Well, the hospital says he's going to be okay, but they're going to keep him in

for observation until he's lost the part and another act is taken over.

Well, at least he's still alive.

Well, that's no consolation, apparently. He hasn't worked for six months.

Poor bugger.

So, what do you reckon?

Someone trying to frighten Marsha Bancroft or kill her?

Oh, that's hard to say.

I mean, 60 grains of caustic soda has been known to be fatal, and there was

than that in the flask. On the other hand, it's hardly likely that anyone

ever swallow more than a mouthful.

Doesn't sound as though he knew what he was doing.

No, but he could try again.

Next time he could be luckier.

I want this one wrapped up a bit smartish. Can't go on giving around -the

protection forever.

Russell.

Yeah, it's for you. Pen.

Yes,

Jimmy.

Oh, is he?

Interesting.

Tell you what, ask Miss Bancroft if you can borrow her keys and I'll meet you at

the flat in half an hour, OK?

Right.

Keith Brito, Marty's boyfriend.

What about him?

Apparently he's not quite as fond of her as she thinks.

Bingo. Suppose we do find his prints on it. It doesn't prove anything.

It wouldn't prove he handled it.

We could have used it to unblock the sink. Oh, come on, Jimmy.

How many men do you know that use this stuff?

I mean, if the sink needs unblocking, it's usually the women that do it.

Well?

I've been to see my lawyer.

And?

Well, it seems you were right.

Cohabitation could affect my maintenance.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I wanted you to know.

I've given my fellow his marching orders.

The money's more important to her, you think?

I'm not going to let you get away with it, Bob.

If you want to play it strictly by the rules, fine.

But you're not going to escape from that particular loophole.

You make me feel like a bastard.

No comment.

I don't want to break up their sex life, Helen, but if this bloke Perkins...

Perkins!

All right.

If you're going to have any sort of relationship with him, then you ought to

for it.

How much do you think I should charge? Ten quid a trick? Twenty?

I didn't mean it like that.

Maybe not.

That's how the law makes me feel.

Have you ever thought of getting married again?

No.

I'm perfectly happy as I am.

I bet you are.

A bloody cushy number you've found yourself, haven't you?

Don't worry.

One of these days I'll find someone.

Then I'll be off your back.

Oh, yeah. One of these days.

Have you found someone?

It's a fat chance.

It shouldn't be difficult.

What you need is a fluffy blonde who's happy to divide her time between the

kitchen and the bedroom. Yeah, and all you need's a doormat. Someone who'll let

you do what you bloody well want.

That's called freedom.

Well, if you wanted freedom, you shouldn't have got married. Marriage

prison, or it shouldn't be. Look, running a home does not make you a

It's your attitude, Bob.

We both had jobs, but you never thought of helping around the house. You just

sat around and let me get on with it. Yeah, well, I had to get on with it when

you weren't there, didn't I? And you weren't there half the time. I was a

when we met. You knew what you were letting yourself in for. Oh, Jesus,

marvellous, innit?

When we were married, you never thought of resigning.

Oh, no.

Never occurred to you your job was coming between us. But the minute that

split up, you chucked it in.

Doesn't that tell you something?

Hello, Bob.

Yeah, Maggie, for...

Helen, my ex -wife.

Oh, hello.

Well, do you want to join us?

Where about in the middle around seven?

Oh, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Oh, no, no, don't go. We could

with her after we... I said all I had to say.

I'm sorry, Maggie. I don't mean to be rude, but I've got to go.

Well, I'm sorry you won't be getting your bit of nookie tonight.

Oh, I shall be getting it all right.

At his place.

Just reliving old nightmares.

Do you want a drink?

Let me get you one.

Oh, look, sit down.

I mean, can't a fella buy a bird a drink these days without making a great

hassle about it?

Yes, Miss?

We'd like to speak to Mrs... Inspector Forster, please.

Anything I can do?

No. Is she here?

I don't know.

What name shall I say?

Lois.

You know, you've got it sewn up, haven't you, eh?

You women.

You say so, Bob.

I heard some old bat on the telly the other night. She's saying that, what,

babies need their fathers just as much as they need their mothers, so they

to take turns changing their nappies.

Well, you know, the odd bloke has been known to change the odd nappy without

actually feeling his manners being threatened.

It's a load of cobblers. There is a biological difference.

Ah. Mm.

The point is, Maggie, I mean, you women, you want it both ways, don't you? I

mean, yeah, you want to compete with the fellas on equal terms, right, enough.

But the minute it doesn't work out, off you run, screaming to your lawyers.

That's always the man who pays.

Helen been giving you a hard time, has she?

I'll tell you.

She was shacked up with some bloke, right?

So I reckon that you ought to start paying some of the bills.

I know what she did when I suggested it.

Picked him out?

I know.

Anything to keep me scared. You're leeches, you young.

Always.

Yeah, she's been fucking me dry ever since the divorce.

I mean, God knows how I'd manage if I ever got married again.

I can hardly keep myself from one letter at the end of the week.

You'll have to let your wife go out to work.

Well, suppose you didn't fancy it, huh?

Well, just suppose she happened to want to stay at home and look after her old

man. Now, do you think she'd appreciate having to schlep off after breakfast

every morning just so that Helen can lie around all day contemplating her bloody

neighbour?

What's the matter?

I don't know, is it? Look, I can't talk now, I'm afraid.

Please, it's important.

Well? My grandfather's ill back in Jamaica.

Dad's leaving tonight. He doesn't know when he'll be back.

So I wanted to see you again, Mrs. Watson.

Just to sort out one or two things.

Look, I am sorry. I really am tied up at the moment.

Oh?

I've got an idea. Tell him.

Come on, come with me.

She's got... Six or levels, Mr. Russell. I don't want her to waste them.

They wouldn't necessarily be wasted on us, Mr. Wall.

A girl with her qualifications, she can afford to pick and choose.

Maybe she can.

But the unemployment level's still rising among school leavers, even for

with six or levels.

That's why I want her to go to university, get a degree.

She can do that in the police force.

She can.

All expenses paid.

Now, Lewis, you'd have to study a subject connected with your work.

Got any ideas?

Sociology.

Sociology. Terrific.

A sociology graduate in our corner. You'd be unique.

The thing that worries me, Mr. Russell, would Lewis be accepted? I mean, really

accepted as an equal?

She'd get the same deal as anyone else.

From you, maybe. But what about the other coppers?

They're just ordinary blokes, Mr. Hall.

If Lois can forget she's black, so can they.

That's all I wanted to know.

Thank you for your time, Mr. Russell. Pleasure.

I'd like to wait for Inspector Forbes.

All right, but I have to go.

Look, tell her what.

Why don't I hand you over to a WPC? She can give you the woman's angle, yeah?

They have an angle?

Ever know a woman who didn't, Mr. Horne?

Thank you, gentlemen.

Thank you, madam.

Oh, for heaven's sake, stop calling me mad. You make me feel 180.

Sorry.

What's your name, Sergeant?

Fenton. I meant your Christian name.

James. No, Jimmy.

Found what you were looking for, did you, Jimmy?

Maybe.

The inscrutable copper.

Have you got a key cut for yourself?

Eh?

You're going to need it in case I get attacked in my bed and you have to come

my rescue.

No, that won't be me. Somebody else will take over for the night shift.

Couldn't you tell that lady inspector you don't want anyone else to take over?

I've got to get some kip.

Kip on the sofa?

I don't think Mr Bristow would fancy that.

It's my flat.

If Mr Bristow doesn't like it, he can sling his hook.

I don't think the inspector would be too crazy about the idea either, to tell

you the truth.

She'd probably send a WPC as a chaperone. Oh, we need Keith then, don't

But I often wake up in the middle of the night, you know, feeling hungry.

Uh, Fenton.

Yeah, she's right here.

Yeah.

Yeah, right, hang on a minute.

It's Inspector Forbes. She wants to know who cleaned your flat.

Why?

Well, that seems to be important.

Also, she'd like to talk to your solicitor.

Hmm.

You got a boyfriend?

Yeah. Have you talked to him about joining? Yeah.

What did he reckon?

He says I've got two strikes against me.

Being black and being a woman.

Weakly sees you in uniform.

It really turns some blokes on, you know. You wouldn't believe some of the

offers I've had.

He thinks I'd just be popping up a rotten system, papering over the cracks.

Doesn't sound like he fancies uniforms.

No.

You prepared to lose him?

Maybe I already have.

Never mind.

Some of our young lads aren't so bad.

You'll get used to that.

How about a cup of coffee?

Thanks.

My husband's not at home at the moment.

He's at the studios.

Do you mind if I come in and wait for him?

No, of course not. Please do. Thank you.

Can I help you?

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask Mr. Spencer to come down to the station with

me. Why?

To take his fingerprints.

Yeah? What?

Was someone attending to you?

I think so.

You don't seem very sure.

Well, I'm waiting to see someone.

Well, would I do?

No, not really.

What a pity.

It's all right, sir.

Young lady's waiting to see Inspector Forbes.

Oh, I see. We've been a naughty girl, have we?

Granted.

I was asking what you've been up to. What makes you think I've been up to

anything?

Well, look, if you're waiting to see our lady super sleuth, I naturally assume

that you must... I'm a miscreant.

Come again?

Skip it.

Suit yourself. She could be ours.

What's with the Queen of Sheba?

Search me. Tasty, though.

Not bad.

Come on, you're looking great legs and... Yeah, I'll take your word for it.

Diary? Done.

And I've nearly finished the report on the cross -keys breaking.

Good. Keep at it.

So, how was the missus?

Ex -missus.

Like that, is it?

Yep.

Whoever it was who said paying off an ex -wife was like buying oats for a dead

horse was obviously a divorced man. The bitch.

So she wouldn't see reason. She's bloody impossible.

Like I've always said, women should be kept at home, chained to the stone,

barefoot and pregnant.

You take a tip from me. You get married, you go for a civilian with her brains

in her knickers, shares in a distillery.

There speaks a bitter man. Correct.

It's the uniform that does it to them. There's what, lady cops, traffic

WVS, they're all the bloody same.

You stick them in a uniform and, hey, presto, load a half. It's not natural.

If I had my way, they'd all be the mob.

You all right?

Yes, thanks. You've been a great help.

Can I leave Inspector Forbes the note?

Well, feel free.

Uh, help, you say?

Yeah. I had to make my mind up about something.

Hmm. Always happy to oblige.

Sergeant, see the young lady has everything she needs.

Right, love.

What'll it be?

Pen and paper.

Fingerprints? The substance found in Miss Bancroft's flask was caustic soda.

found a tin of the stuff in her kitchen, so we're taking the fingerprints of

anyone who was in the flat recently, purely for elimination purposes.

All right, well, come on, let's get it over with.

But this is ridiculous.

He never went anywhere near the kitchen. How do you know that, Mrs Spence? Were

you there?

Not inside, no.

I was waiting in the car.

You went with your husband?

Yes. Why?

I asked, that's all.

Come with me. I needed some moral support.

But if you didn't go inside, Mrs Spencer, how do you know that your

didn't go into the kitchen?

The kitchen's on another floor. It's downstairs.

With a door leading to the garden?

Yes. So your wife could have entered it and observed by anyone else in the flat?

Yes, I suppose so, providing the door wasn't locked. Was it, Mrs Spencer?

How would I know? I didn't try it.

Well, perhaps we'd better take your print, too. Just to make sure.

Can't we leave my wife out of it? No, I'm afraid not, Mrs Spencer. You see, I

was always quite sure that your prince would eliminate you, but I was

to see your wife's reaction when I suggested you coming down to the

You don't really believe that she's... She had the motive.

I wanted to see if she had the opportunity.

So it's not Brian you suspect.

It's me.

Let's put it this way, Mrs Spencer. I always intended to take your prince,

Don't worry, my love. It's nothing to be nervous about. It's just a matter of

elimination. Will they eliminate you, Mrs Spencer?

No.

What?

What are you saying?

It was me.

I couldn't sit in the car not knowing what was happening, so I slipped in

through the kitchen door to listen.

I only wanted to hear what you were saying, but...

When a bitch called you a talentless hacker should be grateful for her

Before you say any more, Mrs Spencer, I must caution you. I saw her flask on the

draining board and this tin of caustic soda.

Oh, Pam, you didn't really mean to kill her.

I don't know.

I think I just wanted to make her suffer the way she's made us suffer.

On the way out, I saw a dead cat lying in the gutter. Someone had run over it.

What came over me? I still can't believe I could have done a thing like that.

Please, don't say anything. Don't say any more.

All right, Mrs Spencer, shall we go?

Can I come with her? Yes, of course. Right, I'll get you a coat.

The court allows her to take a third of our earnings.

Did you know that?

Yes, and I've spoken to her solicitor.

They're monstrous.

Even the law's on her side.

Surely you can see the injustice of it.

As a woman.

I'm not here as a woman, Mrs Spencer.

Sandra?

Where's Lois? The government says she's waiting for me.

She's gone. She left you alone.

Dear Mrs. Forbes, sorry, but it's all been a mistake. Goodbye.

What the hell happened?

I don't know.

I went to get her a cup of coffee, and when I got back, she disappeared.

Were you here, Bob, when she left?

Who? Lois, the black girl.

Yeah, we were both here.

Did she say anything?

Not a lot. We didn't quite seem to hit it off. What?

You didn't scare her off, did you?

Scare her off? Yeah, she was on the point of becoming a copper. Something

to have happened to have made her change her mind.

Well, it's no good crying over a spilt coffee.

I mean, we're well out of it anyway, Ted, eh?

Oh, white women. They're trouble enough.

What?

My God.

There's no need to castrate you.

Helen saved me the trouble.

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