All language subtitles for The Gentle Touch s03e06 Protection

I don't know.

Thank you.

Way to start a day. A man's hand. Right.

A man's right hand. Wrong. Eh?

Well, I don't know whether it's a left
or a right hand. Well, you just said

right. Yeah, but I meant right. Yes, not
right.

Left. God, no wonder people get confused
around here. All right, once again,

from the top.

Words of not more than one syllable.

They were opening. Two syllables.

Up. The kitchen, when this hand falls
out of a sack of bread rolls. A

restaurant. No, a nightclub. The Pink
Giraffe. Who's working on it? The two

Forensics? I'll stick either there or on
their way. Yeah, all right. A couple of

quick phone calls and I'll join them.

And Jimbo. Yeah.

Don't say right when you mean yes,
right?

Right.

Ciao.

That meant goodbye.

No, it's um, hello, goodbye, how's your
father, anything you want it to.

Where did you learn Italian?

You taught me.

What?

I've just got a mental picture of you as
a youth. What do you mean?

You know, it's a bonny sight. Party,
corduroy shorts.

Used to stand them in the corner. They
glow in the dark.

Will you park, OK?

Yeah.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Now, what have we got so far?

Mancini's delivered the bread. The woman
says the bag was stapled up tight.

Where is she now? Do you want me to have
a word?

She's in shock. She's dated.

Who runs the place?

A guy called Warren. Harry Warren.

I've got him out of bed. He's on his
way. Well, he'll love you.

I think he does already.

Anyway, it's not my problem. The
governor wants to handle him. I'm just

Mancini. He's driving me mad.

These doughnuts are magic.

Don't you ever put weight on?

It's a lean and hungry look.

You should look someplace else.

Cafes, restaurants, clubs.

You get any vibes?

Yeah, protection.

Why not for big, isn't it?

Just the people that clip your
fingernails.

Starting at the wrist.

Just the hand?

Not enough.

Eh? What do you want, the rest of the
arm as well?

I'm sorry, what else do you want me to
say?

A smart arse like you, Harry. Mr.
Warren. Mr. Warren, I thought you'd have

plenty to say.

About what?

Like how it got there, why it got there.

Could have been an accident.

Oh, what a sweet old -fashioned thing
you really are. I don't like your

attitude, Russell.

Sad.

Maggie, what is it I'm doing wrong? No
idea, sir.

Most illicit, as far as I can gather.
Look, just because the geezer's lost a

hand, whoever he is, don't mean to say
he's dead. Oh, that's good, Harry.

really very good. Now you're beginning
to think thick. That's good.

You're ruining my breakfast. Ask me
questions, I'll give you answers. Then I

get back in the kit. The thought of this
poor bastard.

Wandering around, rest of his natural,
one arm shoved inside his shirt like a

poor man's Napoleon. Won't keep you
awake, will it? I ain't giving it much

thought. Well, let's give it some
thought. What have we got? One -handed

one -handed waiter, one -handed peon? A
bit lopsided.

I'll tell you something.

Someone sent me a hand, I'd be scared.

Maybe the idea was to frighten you, Mr
Warren.

Why? Well, that's what we're waiting for
you to tell us. I ain't got a clue.

How about protection?

Oh, do me a favour, Inspector.

Chief Inspector.

Whoops. Sorry, Chief.

How can we help you if you don't tell us
anything?

I don't need help.

Honest. Straight. Oh, straight.

You know something, Harry? When
characters like you start muttering

honest and straight, that's when we
start disbelieving them.

Good morning.

Disgeta mimbra.

Well, I'll just put severed hand.

What do you want to know?

All you can tell me.

Race? White? I could have done that bit.
Sex? Male?

Sure. Unless it was Lady Lumberjack.

Well, could it have been?

With hairy hands.

From the tip of the middle finger to the
base of the severed wrist. That's 25

centimetres. That's nine and a half
inches plus.

That's big. Not big. Huge.

All right.

It's white, male, huge hands.

Very little subcutaneous fat.

Definitely male.

How about age? Can we get that for him?
I'll tell you that when he's been to X

-ray. He's a big man.

Ah, now.

If you're brought with a female, the
humorous. Well, next time.

Using Pearson's formulae, I'd say it was
approximately six foot.

Blood group?

Group A, second largest.

Not much help there.

Forty -two out of every hundred.

No putrefaction.

Nail scraping's uninformative. Bitty's
nails, actually.

Smoked heavily. Severe nicotine
staining. Never heard of pumice stone.

Dead before or after the hand came off?
Before.

Right hand. Right -handed.

Change of tack.

Person of persons who did it. What'd
they use?

Meat cleaver? Hatchet? Carving knife?
No.

Skillful. Nice.

Neat cut at the wrist.

Where the ulna and the radius terminate.
Is it knowledge of anatomy?

Could be.

But why cut off the hand of a dead man?

We think it could be a message, a sort
of hands -off.

Something like that.

Right, cut the bunny.

That's enough on the Joanna, thank you,
Mr Lee.

I just want to alert you to one thing.
We've got the law in again.

Again. Yes, again.

Again. And the story briefly and so far
for new readers is this. Someone popped

a fish, yes, a human fish, into a packet
of bread rolls that was delivered here

this morning.

Oh, that was Andy. Yes, you've always
wanted three. Now's your chance.

Anyway, the fuzz in their infinite
wisdom are reading rather a lot into it.

So the question is, do any of you
masterminds know anything about it?

Because if any of you lot have been
playing silly billies, now is the time

say so.

Now, or like the Closet Queen said,
forever hold your peace. Oh, come on.

Was it a left hand or a right hand? Good
question.

What difference would it make?

Carol Garner or Oscar Peterson, it makes
a lot of difference. Yeah, well, it

wouldn't make a lot of difference to
you. It was just a hand. A commoner,

garden, four fingers, one thumb, hand.

I want to tell you a story.

You're fired.

You know, I've always wanted to meet a
fellow at a penthouse.

Just my luck that the fellow has such a
filthy of friends in town.

Leave it, I told you.

Oh, Dave, I can't. It's a big time.

What were you doing? Planning World War
III?

It was a heavy session.

Oh, my God, that must be the
understatement of the year.

What are you doing Friday night, she
says? Oh, nothing, says I.

Picked you up a couple of hours
showering, he says. William will be back

tomorrow. Day after at the latest.

Look at this. Lottie takes straight to
his bed again.

One of your fellas wears lipstick.

One of my fellas is a female fella.

Involved in boxing?

Yes. She owns a quarter of Ricky
Thornton.

Which quarter? I will not ask.

Who do you call him?

The States.

But the loans from London are engaged.

I want a 120 pounder prime condition
Mexican on a jet out of Los Angeles by

Sunday night to be here not later than
Monday morning.

It shouldn't be too difficult, should
it?

How should I know?

This is a recorded message.

Dave?

Still here. Can you talk?

Well, you know me, darling.

I'm not too good with the words. I do my
talking with me good left hand. No,

seriously.

I'm always serious.

Well, you've got an interest in a club,
haven't you, and a travel business?

Hello?

She's been sussing me out.

I'm sorry, darling. I'm spoken for. Can
I ask my question?

Of course you can, love.

And the answer's no.

Oh, forget it.

Well, don't be like that.

What a hell of a life, too short.

I'm sorry.

Too late.

I beg, I grovel, I cover my head with
sackcloth and ashes.

Yes, you might look better that way.

Look, Dave, I'll clear this lot up and
I'll go, OK?

I've offended you. Not at all. I never
gave you that idea.

Please.

Don't crawl.

Let me remember you as a man.

I've got a bottle of Dom Perignon in the
fridge.

Oh, well, now. Bully for you.

The lady, and I use the word loosely,
the one with the lipstick.

She'll enjoy that.

Lousy coarseness, I tell you that. Come
on, Maggie, stop it. Ask your bloody

question. You're like some prima donna.
Oh, listen to you.

The question.

All I wanted to know was, do you pay
protection money?

You shoot from the hip, don't you?

Well, you don't have to answer.

Well, after all that Barnum and Bailey,
I tell you, if the Met ever go sour on

you, you can always join La Scala. You
can be damn rude, you know that.

I can.

Count yourself lucky you've never seen
me. You know what your trouble is, don't

you, Dave? You've lived too long without
a woman, a regular woman.

And I've offered to remedy the
situation.

Women stand up these days, Dave.

Not all the time, I hope. Oh, typical.

Being counted, having a say.

You're behind the times, old son.

Why are you smiling?

You know, Maggie, fighting with you
would be fun. Oh, I don't enjoy

Don't enjoy fighting. Don't enjoy it.
Look at you.

I've got a lightweight. Last time he was
out, he got nicked for loitering. If

you had one half of your aggression,
he'd be a champion.

Very neat.

What is? My question got lost somehow.

Haven't you noticed?

The honest truth is, love, I don't know.

I'm financially involved, not caught up
in the everyday nuts and bolts. I could

find out for you.

Could you?

Would you?

What's the matter?

Well, don't pop your cork, but frankly,
I'm not wild about playing snout to your

Judy Copper.

Oh, come on, that's hardly fair.

I'm not fair.

You should know that by now.

Protection's like dandruff. You live
with it, it's there, but you don't talk

about it.

You want to buy yourself a decent
shampoo?

Oh.

Rough knife.

You could say that, yeah.

You've got a new bird on your
switchboard. Yeah, off the boat train.

Could only understand one word in three.

Depends on the word.

Either you're getting greedy, Michael,
or someone's trying to steal your

thunder. Since when?

Yesterday. Nothing to do with me.

Sure? Of course I'm sure.

Not one of your lads doing a bit of
overtime like, moonlighting? Not a

I'm rancid butter, but they know I'm on
their side of the bread.

Then looks like you've got some
competition.

Tell me more.

When our bread delivery arrived
yesterday morning, someone had popped in

little extra portion of meat, like five
muffins worth.

Redcurrant jelly or horseradish?

Man's fist sliced off at the wrist. You
see it?

Not personally, no.

Where is it now?

The law collected it. Take anything,
won't it?

Unless it's screwed down.

Could be other explanations.

Could be.

Name two.

So?

I pay for protection.

Protect me.

Do you remember me?

One scene never forgotten.

Oh, you would?

I'd like a chat.

I wouldn't.

Hey, don't be like that, Junie Moon.

I'm busy.

Well, two could do it quicker.

How's the Bogart impression?

I heard again, Sham.

Do you know that's a misquote? Nowhere
in Casablanca does he actually say those

words. Get away. It's true.

Fantastic. What is? You are. You come
round here at the crack of dawn. It's

o 'clock. Oh, it's the crack of my dawn.

You wake me up just to tell me about
misquotes from Casablanca. When you are

university challenge, you will be
grateful. Yeah, that'll be the day.

think I'm a little old for an
undergraduate?

Can I go now?

What do you think I have here?

I don't guess.

Croissant? You provide the coffee, I
provide the croissant, yeah?

No.

All right.

Leave me with no alternative.

What's that mean?

Means I'm a copper.

I don't believe it. I don't believe it
myself sometimes, but it is true.

What do you want to talk about?

Are you sorry?

I can only talk to you, not the whole
staircase.

The pink giraffe.

Give me all the glass.

Is there any?

I'm waiting to hear.

Many villains come in the club.

How would I know?

They wear a big V on their foreheads.

Harry Warren.

You met him?

Not yet.

No worse than plenty of others I've
known. You've been... Sexually?

Criminal. That's me.

Any idea who found him?

No, tell me.

I don't know how friendly you are.

Not that friendly.

There's a lady in Sloane Square. She has
a driven game of Jag.

Not sure who doesn't want to who, but
she's usually around.

We think someone's trying a protection
rumble. The Frighteners left their

visiting card.

Oh, you mean the hand.

You heard?

Yeah, Warren told us all, in case anyone
knew about it.

Did they?

No.

Like he said, hand today, I wonder what
it might be tomorrow.

Yes, don't you?

Ah, eat your croissant.

Why did you quit the Adam's apple?

I did it for a good day too long in one
place. Why not?

You become a fixture.

People think they own you.

What sort of people?

Oh, your regular punters, barmen, people
like that.

Two gins, a couple of lips, territorial
right.

The lady's not for pulling.

Not for the price of a couple of gins,
she is.

You could do so much better for
yourself.

Yeah, I used to tell myself that. It
didn't work.

Ah, black Swiss cherry.

Co -opt strawberry and like it.

Were you born in this month?

No bother, I'm not that interesting. You
should be trimming the honeysuckle,

whitewashing the cottage walls, couple
of bairns in prams.

You know, you're pure cornball.

Told you that the first time I met you.

Slow progress.

It's the rain.

Wasn't going any faster before.

That was the lack of rain.

What news?

Hadn't come from you, I wouldn't have
believed it.

Nothing? Not a word.

Time to crack a whip.

You reckon?

A little ginger group.

Slow bits.

And a few new conversions.

Spread the gospel, eh?

Some fighting faces, OK?

A couple of stripings, maybe.

Clubs. Clubs.

Yeah, in the old shop, store.

I want people talking.

Talking about us.

How do you like Scottsman?

Lightly toasted.

You mean who I think you mean?

I used to think he was the world's all
-time chauvinist pig.

And now?

I still think he's an all -time
chauvinist pig.

He, uh, he asked me about the club.

You know, there is one thing that
occurred to me that might be of

a long shot. Go on, tell me.

There's a doorman at the club named
Wally. Dorman? Yeah, big ex -fighter

Knows more phone numbers than the
directory inquiries. Girls, boys,

every kink known to man.

What's happened to him? Well, that's the
point. Something has happened. He's

vanished.

When? A couple of weeks ago.

Surely the management must know this. Of
course they must.

Nobody's mentioned it.

What was his name?

Wally. Wally Sheppard.

Describe him.

Oh, big, six foot, lumpy, not bright.
Say hello, he's pushed for an answer.

Big hands?

I suppose.

Don't remember no things, Hans.

White? White, even his hands.

Does he smoke?

Yeah, often caught him having a crafty
drag when he was on the door.

Thank you.

Miss Whiteman, please.

Oh, Miss Whiteman.

Please, sit down.

Is that Wally?

Yes.

Do you heard something?

No.

So why am I here?

Oh, no, we thought that you might be
able to help us. Oh, no, no, you've got

wrong. It's me what needs the help.

I had a shifty ranch here. You nosy
bastard.

And? His club is still there. But where
do you expect it to be?

Uniforms in the wardrobe.

Yeah, looks like a Russian admiral. All
he needs is snow on his boots.

Lady's got a sense of humour.

Did you call me a lady?

It wasn't anything personal.

No one's ever done that before.

When? When did Wally go?

Eh? Oh, beginning of last week.

No, a week before.

Do you remember the exact day?

No, one day's like any other.

Sunday's different, don't have no
newspaper.

Why did he go?

He didn't say.

Can you ask?

Lady.

Did you ask why he was going? No.

It's a funny sort of relationship.

Well, you wouldn't have told me. If he'd
said Brighton 10 to 1, it would have

been Aberdeen, so I wouldn't ask.

How long have you been together?

A year.

Seems longer.

His baby?

Yeah, I reckon so.

You don't sound too sure. He thinks I'm
sure. That's what counts.

Maybe that's why he pushed off. Not him.

With a sudden move?

How do you mean?

Well, did he know before that he was
going somewhere?

No, he didn't say so.

You don't understand how we tick.

No, I don't.

Look, he don't tell me nothing. Wants to
play mysteries.

Wants me to ask. I know that, so I won't
ask. Won't give him no satisfaction.

Now, you know the club, do you?

This is the only club I know.

When's it due?

Six weeks, give or take.

Are you getting your prenatal, your
vitamins a bit? Oh, sure.

Honest use up to the year olds. If it's
a boy, we're calling him Jaffa.

I thought it was indigestion.

You need old plates, you do.

He's having you on, father of five, he
is.

Well, will he ever do this before?

What do you mean, knock me up? No,
disappeared.

Oh, sure, he's not homebird.

Yes, though I gathered.

Big lad, is he?

Bigger than you, Sonny.

Hey, how old are you, anyway?

We do the question.

Sorry.

Anybody ever threaten him?

Only twice a night. He's a doorman.

Where I come from, they call them
dancers.

Where was that, Catford?

Close enough.

Smith's Club?

Closed. You ever work the club?

Believe it or not, I used to be a
blackjack dealer.

Something go wrong?

Come on, tell me.

A bit of bother with two Turkish
students.

What sort of bother?

They reckon they had this foolproof
system for ripping off the club.

Only it wasn't foolproof. How did you
guess?

Then along came Wally.

Sort of.

He's got nice lips, hasn't he?

Does he smoke?

Are you running out of questions?

Does he?

Yeah, he smokes, drinks, curses. Any
idea what blood group he is?

You're joking.

No.

As far as I know, he don't have no
blood. Runs on diesel.

How about his fingernails?

How about them?

Does he bite them?

Are you pulling my whatnot?

No.

You know, when I tell people that I met
this detective inspector, a lady, I

don't know, a lad, and they wanted to
know if Wally bit his fingernails,

no way they're going to believe me. I'll
call one of them radiophonians.

You do that.

Does he bite his fingernails? I never
thought about it.

Well, you think about it now.

I am doing.

Yeah, now you mention it, he used to
like a bit of a chew.

Well, um... Thank you, Miss Whiteman. If
Wally does turn up, get him to call me.

We'd like a word.

About his fingernails.

Morning.

Morning, sir.

You thinking of buying or just having a
little look? Well, look now, buy later,

maybe.

Lovely motor, this one.

Tread's gone.

Nearside front.

Well, I wouldn't let a tyre stand
between me and a sail.

36 ,000 o 'clock.

End registration.

Lovely nick.

I've got the maintenance booklet here.

Lists. Every service it's had.

What do you think,

Bernard? I like it.

Good sign.

Been here long?

Six months.

Catch up of all directions, eh?

Best I've had so far.

It's an ambition.

Well, I believe in giving it a go.

You, er... Buying or trading? Buy.

Er, haggle first, then buy.

Well, you'd better come into the office
then.

I'm afraid there won't be any haggling,
though.

I've tried and it's left already.

Do you pay that to everybody?

I do, yeah.

Ah,

very nice.

There is a simple solution to every
human problem.

Neat, plausible and wrong.

I like it. A customer gave it me.

You get many bad debts, slow payers?

No, not many. How about trouble?

How do you define trouble?

Agro. Kids with nails.

People trying to muscle in on your
action.

Are you interested in the motor or not?
A business like this can't afford

trouble, can it? That's why you need a
partner.

I don't want trouble.

Or a partner.

Us around you won't have trouble, will
you, Bernard?

No way.

What sort of trouble are we talking
about? Tell him.

Well, someone messing about with the
motors.

You know, slashing a few tyres.

A couple of pounds of Demerara in the
petrol.

Chasing off your staff.

I mean, suppose you had a nasty
accident.

Broke an arm or a leg.

How would you manage? I'll take one of
your cards. Oh, your home number. That's

thoughtful. Maybe he's out of their
office.

Have you?

First off, I thought that was from you
two. Oh, at least you won't forget us.

Now, all we'll need... All you'll need
is... One minute to get off the site.

Wouldn't be wise, Mr. Ransom. It really
wouldn't. Fifty seconds. We'll leave

now. We'll come back.

Shoulder up.

Forty seconds.

plausible and wrong. Fifteen seconds.
See you tomorrow.

Out.

Two of them.

By the way, your phone number last night
sounded suspiciously like June

Stafford. June who?

All right, all right. That's enough, my
friend. Thank you. Next.

Uh, Mr. Warren.

Can we have a minute, please?

Okay. Take five, fellas, and behave
yourselves, because here comes your

Uh, sit down.

Yeah? Do either of you two play the
piano?

No, sorry.

Not variations on the laughing
policeman?

Wouldn't exactly pull the punters in,
would he? Doubt it.

Found the other hand yet? Not yet.

New face?

Detective Inspector Cross.

Pleased to know you, Mr. Warren.

Uh, Scott.

Come down early for Wembley?

London -based.

Well, you don't know any more, I don't
know any more, so what's the problem?

Wally Shepard.

You know who I mean?

Inspector, I run a nightclub, not the
Eighth Army. Of course I know Wally.

you'll know where he is.

Where? That was the word.

I don't think I'm going to like him any
more than the other fellow, Russell.

Where?

As a matter of fact, he's in Holland.

On business?

Yep. Your business?

Yep. Amsterdam? Yeah. Of course.

Oh, you can't be serious.

I don't hear anyone laughing. Well, I'm
laughing. You people make me laugh. You

put two and two together and come up
with 87 and a half. What sort of

could Wally be doing for you in
Amsterdam, Mr Warren?

Is it relevant?

We won't know till you tell us.

He's a doorman.

You chuck her out there. You know,
bouncing rich old drunks into taxi cabs.

Well, there must be a limit to what he
can do for you. It's a ticklish property

deal. Musician's copyright problem.

Speculation in a Dutch gilder. Do you
really want to know? That is on fast. We

really want to know.

I sent Wally over there to trace a
couple of Dutch brothers who do a

act. I've got a spot in his filling.
They haven't got any London

so I sent Wally.

What a strange choice.

Not at all. He knows them. Oh, that's a
different complexion, isn't it?

Thank you. When will he be back?

Weekend. Are you sure he got there?

How do you mean?

Simple enough. Have you heard from him
since he left? No, but then I didn't

expect... You don't think it's Wally's
end?

It would be a rare old coincidence now,
wouldn't it, Mr. Warren?

How long have you got to go, Maggie?

What? How long?

On the force?

Four and a bit.

Then what?

I hadn't thought.

The events of the last two years,
there's not much mileage in planning

Security firm?

Advisor to one of the banks?

Night watchman?

I don't think so.

I can't be myself driving a Securico van
somehow.

Well, put your paper thin.

And pump the plates with me.

You might have done that again.

You heard. I heard the words. I missed
the drift.

End of the month.

Oh, God, I knew you liked surprises.

Oh, come on, Maggie. I can't wrap it up
for you. I was born with a foot in my

mouth. Are you serious?

Deadly.

I know one second.

Whatever I say, you're going, right?

Looks like that.

Well, thanks for mentioning it.

I'd have looked all right, Charlie,
wouldn't I, coming round here? Only to

you sunning yourself in... where?

New York, L .A., Acapulco?

Vegas. For starters.

Why?

Why the move? Because that's where it's
at.

The U .S. of A.

Jim Watt had to fight a title bout at 2
o 'clock in the morning.

So it could go out live to the States.

Satellite TV.

Closed circuit. That's where the big
money is.

Apart from the few, there isn't a living
over here anymore.

So, if you can't beat them... I've had
an offer.

It's all you get once in a lifetime.

From one of the top three promoters.

I'm delighted for you.

For us?

That invite, does it include Steve?

You remember Steve.

Oh, Christ, Maggie, why are you being so
snide? Oh, I'm sorry, Dave.

End of a hard week, I guess. You, me,
the boy.

It'll be a great life.

Son, money, house with a pool.

Stop right there. Why?

Because I might say yes.

Well, I'm hoping you will.

Do I have time to powder my nose? I
must, you know, right away.

I have till Tuesday.

Oh, no hurry.

What's your thinking?

I have a dad.

At the last count, there were three
people in all the world who cares

lives or doesn't. Two of them are Steve
and me.

Is it?

Airfares to the States have never been
cheaper. You can fly direct, no sweat.

No, you don't understand, Dave.

His eye's missed over when I tell him I
can't see him on Monday.

Oh, hell's bells, Maggie. What do you
want to do, take him as well? No, I... I

just want you to understand my problem.

But I do, love, I do.

Who says he's got to be such a rush?

My accountant.

One hour ahead of the tax man, eh?

Something like that.

You know, Ruttle, my governor, he's a...

Phrased for people like you on the cusp,
he calls them.

What's he mean?

Well, he means you're not exactly bent,
but you're not quite straight either.

Cheeky bastard.

I've never been in trouble with the law.

Never. Yet.

So how's it grab you?

First reaction?

Flabbergasted.

Flabbergasted yet?

Or flabbergasted now? Just
flabbergasted.

Do they have schools in Vegas?

Well, of course they do.

Must have, mustn't they? You never hear
about them.

We never hear about the crime rate in
Harrogate, but there must be one.

That's true.

Are you thinking about it? I'm thinking.

Thinking hard.

Never have to go to another post
-mortem.

Do another interrogation.

Give another caution.

No more typing out reports, no more glue
-snipping punks with safety pins

through their nostrils. Now, get back to
the reports. You were onto a good thing

there. You never have to touch another
typewriter. Oh, never having to change

that bloody ribbon, digging the gums out
of the middle of the O with a hairpin,

discovering you've put the carbon in the
wrong way.

So what do you say?

She texted the inspector for me. I
believe he wanted to see me. Yeah, I've

something to show you.

And there's his brother.

Who are you?

Wally Shepard.

Cotwood from Holland.

That's it.

Did you find them?

Find who? Weren't you looking for two
Dutchmen?

Oh, yeah, yeah, Cabaret Act. Any luck?

No. They have no London representation.

Though Mr Warren said in more or less
those words. How's Sandy?

Pregnant.

So I noticed. Are you looking forward to
being a dad?

Yeah. I've had cats and dogs. Always
wanted a kid.

Good.

She seems a nice girl.

Yeah, she is.

You know, when women, when they get
pregnant, they kind of get a bit

Are they?

Might be a good idea if you told her
next time you were going off somewhere.

You reckon?

Yes. OK.

No skin off my nose.

Good.

Can I go now?

Yes. Yes, thanks.

Thanks very much for coming in. Cheers.

Who?

A doorman from the picture arm. Two
-handed? One on each arm.

Oh. Exactly.

Well, back to the drawing board.

Or missing persons, to be more precise.

It could be anybody from anywhere.

Maggie, that's defeatist talk. It's
true.

With a male hand.

That eliminates half the population. Oh,
for 50 million, read 25.

Six foot and white. It gets better every
minute.

You'll handle it.

Why didn't you wake me?

I didn't want to disturb you.

Could have disturbed me last night, like
with a phone call.

Sorry, sorry.

Don't they have phones in police
stations?

No, they've all been vandalised.

Where were you?

Ah, car showroom got done over. Even I
have to work nights occasionally, you

know.

Not today.

Knew it was too good to laugh.

Sugar.

You know the name Ransom?

Sure, writes kids' books.

No,

it's a different Ransom.

And how do you know about kids' books?

You mean because I don't have any?

Yeah. You're not very imaginative for a
copper, are you? You hand that in when

you collect your first uniform.

Shame.

I have a sister. She has kids.

Sister goes into hospital, I become
surrogate mum, big with the baths and

bedtime reading.

Unfortunately, brother -in -law thinks
I'm also surrogate wife.

So, what do you read him? The Riot Act.

Not easy to tell your sister every time
you bend over the stove, hubby's copping

a handful.

Yes, but, um, it's a lovely handful.

Well, no, the ransom I'm talking about's
a car dealer who's done a bunk.

Cars!

But at this moment, I couldn't run to a
decent bike.

Yeah, hey, okay. Now, cut down on the
booze, lovey.

Did I hear you right?

I asked you a question.

You heard.

What the hell gives you the right to
tell me what to do?

I asked you another question. You are
becoming a lush. Am I? Yes. So push off.

moneyed before.

Relax.

I didn't mean it like that. What other
way could you mean it?

Oh, God, it's great, isn't it? Hang your
spare suit in the cupboard and 48 hours

later you think you own me. Listen,
jock, I don't enjoy being pushed around.

never have. You want a punch bag, you go
find it someplace else. Are you giving

me my notebook? Yeah, I want it in
writing.

Is this the way all your relationships
end?

Probably. I hadn't thought.

I'm going back to bed. Hey, Judy. Leave
your key on the table. Is that what you

want?

Yeah, that's what I want. Fine.

Trouble with married men. I have not
been married in years. Doesn't matter.

Damage has been done. From then on, they
treat all women as wives.

Dad, your toe's burning.

This one was washed up half an hour ago.

Any idea how long he's been in the
water?

Time and tide.

Wait for no more?

Time of the year, movement of the tide,
temperature of the water.

Normal clothes should have popped to the
surface when in the week.

Thanks. You asked?

You told me.

What's the line, my friend, sir?

Oh, yeah.

Man's been identified.

Lighterman from what?

What about the arm?

Ship propellers, I'd say.

Oh, well. Nice day for a stroll.

Sorry about that, sir.

How long has he been in the water,
Sergeant?

A week, apparently, ma 'am.

OK, Sergeant. Thanks for trying. Back to
the factory, yes? Thanks, Sergeant.

It was all a ploy to get you in a kinky
boot.

Kinky? Kinky.

I think you could slow down a bit.

Why?

A, my leg was shorter, and B... Dave
Connolly.

He wants you to quit the force.

Go to the States with him.

When?

Like tomorrow.

Be honest.

Oh, come on. I'm not hiding to nothing,
am I?

If I'd wanted your advice, I wouldn't
have asked for it.

Who else did you talk to?

Nobody.

Your dad?

Nope.

Can you leave the old boy just like
that? No.

Then is it right that he should screw up
any offer that comes along?

Who knows what's right?

Most important thing is what you
yourself feel, isn't it?

I'm sure Steve, your dad, even your
career, they're important, but at the

the day, there are only side issues,
aren't there?

Don't you like it?

What do you say, love?

Look, Maggie.

The Dave Connellys of this world are not
high on my list of unforgettable

characters. He's clean.

Legally clean, yeah. Nothing known,
nothing proven.

Who are they?

They're opportunists.

Well, there's nothing wrong with that.

They don't do anything. They don't make
anything. They don't contribute

anything. They own a piece of this, a
percentage of that. They've got a finger

here, a deal there. It's all perfectly
legal. Oh, within the letter. I don't

what you're driving at.

Maybe it's empty.

Come on. I know you can better do that.

Do you know what I really think?

Say it.

Maybe now or never.

I don't think he's good enough for you.

I don't think he's fit to lick your
boots.

Not even your kinky wellies.

I didn't know you cared.

Good day, Iceheart Pine.

Am I interrupting anything? Yes, you
bloody are.

The inspector's just about seen one fine
day from Madam Butterfly.

I'm not sure I know what to say to that.

Don't just stand there. Say something.

We pull ransom, the car salesman. Where
is he?

He'll be in your office in a quarter of
an hour. That's very good of him.

By then we have to decide what we want
to do. We don't have to do anything.

No warrant street sharpie tells us what
to do, right?

Right, sir. OK, I'll handle it.

Wouldn't like to be his dog tonight.

It was just a load of kids mucking
about.

It's nothing serious.

I can handle it myself.

Oh? How?

I'll buy a dog. Oh, terrific. Love dogs.

Biggest bloody Alsatian you ever saw.
Fine. Got nothing against Alsatians,

Eurasians, Pakistan.

It's just villains.

Why don't you dump it all on us, Mr
Ransom? I told you, it's my business.

It's also our business.

Do you have any idea what you're getting
yourself into? Do you know what this

team is capable of? It starts with a
dead duck.

If I was in your shoes, mate, I'd be
scared.

All right, I admit it.

I'm scared.

Well and truly scared. Right. Now, you
weren't scared. You'll be a damn fool.

can help you. Oh, yeah? Sure.

It's like the umbrella, isn't it? I can
use it until it starts to rain. As long

as it takes until they're nicked.

It'll only be my word against theirs.
You talk. It's amazing how many others

will do the same.

You remember the craze?

That barmaid?

Now, I saw the files coming out of
Tintagel House. You'd have thought

in Europe had a statement in there. 24
hour round the clock.

Come on, we'll even provide a safe
house.

And the family?

Yes, of course.

I'm not used to trusting people.

Start now. It's a nice feeling.

What alternative do I have?

Exactly.

All right, there were two of them.

One's a Londoner, the other's from the
north. He's called Bernard.

He's the lesser of the two. He didn't
say much.

Bernie Shaw?

Bernie Shaw, Mickey Flynn, a right pair
of germs.

What, you know them? They get their
muscle off the building site.

So, uh... How was it left?

They said they'd call by.

Good. All the more the merrier.

First thing I need do is look under your
bed.

What for?

A pair of boots, large size,
policemen's.

They've gone.

Was quick.

Case of mistaken identity.

For good or... I don't know if it's for
good, it's for always.

I need to know. You do.

You're very brittle.

Brittle, but non -breakable.

Shall I tell you what I have in mind?

Why not? You don't. We won't get very
far.

One thing worries me.

Your tongue.

Wrong colour? Wrong shape? Too sharp.

It's your fault you make me uneasy.

Why's that?

You're auditioning me. Reading me for a
part. I don't like it.

Sorry about that.

Sit down. Go on.

An American conglomerate tired of paying
rip -off hotel bills is establishing a

network of flats of convenience.

Here, Paris, Amsterdam, Brussels.

I'm responsible for the London end. I've
bought a lease in Cadogan Square.

Nothing but the best.

I need someone to oversee it.

Me? Could be.

What's involved?

Providing a home and companionship for
some very interesting and colourful

characters. Which side of the bedroom
door does this companionship end? That'd

be up to you. A well -stocked phone book
would be provided.

I'm no good in the kitchen.

Yeah, well, that'd be somebody else's
job.

Are you interested?

Maybe. Little side bet.

Within a year, you'd be married and
living abroad.

Why me?

To be honest, a certain lack of
competition.

All my other birds are scrubbers. You
have class.

What about my sharp tongue?

Yeah, you'd have to curb that.

It wouldn't do to fall down drunk too
often.

You don't mind?

No, you do it with such finesse.

You're drinking like the Russians are
coming up the A20.

Make an appointment with my quack. He
does more drying out than the Lord's

ground staff.

OK, I'll give it a go.

Do you want to sleep on it? No.

No wonder that copper didn't last.

Glad you've cut your senses, Rens.

Didn't leave me any alternative. Not for
long, eh, Bernard?

We do our best to please.

You don't have to gloat. Oh, come on, I
ain't a bad loser.

Well, what do I have to do?

Is this your last month's turnover?

Yes. Gets left each time.

Well, it's recession. You've heard about
it, I suppose. Don't get cheeky,

sunshine.

I'll tell you what we'll do. We won't be
greedy.

We'll just take 20%. Of the profit?

Of the top.

You must be joking. I can't afford that.
Bernard, I still don't think he's got

the point. Very slow on the uptake is
our Mr Ransom.

20%. Call it a fifth. Sounds a lot less.

Crap, Mickey. Come on.

Successful. Thank you, all units.

Hi at home, James.

Don't swear the horses.

Nice one. Gang that.

Or so not.

Watertight case. The only bloody problem
is we don't know whose hand... We don't

know whose hand that was.

Yeah, well, they all deny it. Well, I
know they do. But they would, wouldn't

they? Yeah, yeah.

So, where the hell's Maggie?

She's in her office.

Correction, she's... Hopping mad.

Do you care to share your anger with us,
Inspector?

Would I? If I don't tell someone, I'll
explode.

Do you want to sit down? No, it's all
right, Jake. I'd rather stand.

It was something you said that started
me thinking.

You know, about that hand being so
neatly severed.

So I made a few phone calls, the result
of which I've just spent ten minutes

with a Professor Grey. He teaches
anatomy at St Dominic's Hospital.

Ah, even I've heard of Grey's Anatomy.

No, sir, this is a...

Anyway, it appears that one of his
students won some sort of scholarship

and his mates went out on the town for a
night, winding up at... The Pink

Giraffe.

Anyway, the bill was astronomical. There
was a bit of a fracas. They thought

they'd been ripped off. No, friend
Warren, they certainly were.

Yes, they decided to get their own back.

By giving the proprietor up again.

Literally.

They smuggled it out after a dissection
class and managed to hide it in that bag

of bread rolls.

Well, I'm glad you'll find it so
amusing. Oh, come on, Maggie. You've got

admit it's a bit of a joke. I mean, it
is. I was thinking we're dealing with a

mafia. And it's just a bunch of harmless
school kids.

You know the girl who found it is still
under sedation?

Some joke.

Professor Gray would like me to hush it
up. He shares your view that it was just

boyish high spirits.

What's your view?

I think they're cruel and stupid, and if
I can find something to charge them

with, I will.

Well, at least I can get them into my
office and read them the riot act.

Jake, give her a hand.

You've got everything you need?

Everything.

A wonderfully equipped work basket.

It's the best I've seen in years.

It looks awkward.

Should the thimble be on that finger?
No, my love, it should be on your

All the men in my life always had one
thing in common. Not one of them could

down a sock or sell a buttonhole.

So what did you say to those medical
students then?

Since he changed the subject.

Gave them a rocket, didn't I?

I believe it.

Told them how many man hours they'd
waste.

Not to mention woman hours. Especially
those.

Well, actually, they did you a favour. I
didn't mention that.

Seems to be one other topic we're not
mentioning.

Wand in a jacket.

You had time to think?

A little.

They do have schools in Vegas, I asked.

I got some pictures coming to the house.

A clear day, reckon you can see across
the pool.

Sun on 300 odd days of the year. Knowing
you, Dave, I take the creature comforts

as read.

So what's holding you back?

Something is.

One four -letter word.

Which one?

Love.

Oh, hell, Maggie, that's taken for
granted, surely.

It's a revealing phrase.

Well, come on, love, be your age. It
goes without saying. Why does it?

Why should it?

Well, look at me, for God's sake. I'm a
48 -year -old East End boy, not a poet.

You want pretty messages, I'll go down
to Smith's, buy you some cards. No,

that's not what I want.

Of course, I want to be wooed.

But a woman doesn't.

A bit more than that.

How much more?

The job, the house, the son, the pool.

Got those.

Now what?

Oh, yes.

The birds.

No, that's not right. There's just
another item on the list.

One of the mod cons.

Not good enough.

I'm sorry.

Any sense disputing the decision?

Rest decision is far.

So it's... Nitto.

Nitto.

Never thought I'd finish up playing
second fiddle to old Bill.

He'll come back.

Visits.

If not permanently.

Probably.

I'm always at the other end of a phone.

treble nine and a brief description.

She'd do the trick.