Original subtitles

You ordered a gin and tonic, madam?

And why not?

Would madam care to order now?

No, madam would not.

Would madam care for some fresh ice?

What?

In the champagne bucket, madam. It's nearly melted.

What time is it?

Half past ten.

Half past ten.

Leave it.

Madam?

He keeps me waiting two hours. He can bloody have lukewarm champagne.

Yes, madam.

It was a celebration, you see.

Madam?

The champagne.

It's not much to ask.

Just to meet a lady is arranged, isn't it?

Not much to ask for ten thousand pounds, isn't it?

Happened to be there.

Got to keep them somewhere.

That quantity?

There's no bloke I can flog them to. For pulping?

Something like that.

And the petrol?

What about it? Ten gallons.

Well, all these strikes, price going up all the time. Pays to stockpile, doesn't

it? In the warehouse?

I've got to keep it somewhere. I need it for the fans. And somebody just

happened to throw a lighted cigarette on that lot.

Yeah. Through the door.

I suppose so. Which was open.

Through the window. Which?

I don't know. It wasn't there. Weren't you?

I told you.

There was a seep in bed half a mile away.

By the time anybody saw the flames. I came right over, didn't I?

A bloody silly thing to do, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

Sorry, not with you.

Was it worth so much, the insurance?

What do you mean, was?

They're not Father Christmas, you know, not the insurance companies.

One cigarette.

That's right.

Oh, no, I forgot.

Things tough just now, are they?

What makes you think that?

No money troubles then, no overdraft. No, of course not.

Well, we can soon check on that.

Check how?

Well, that sort of thing's confidential with banks.

I... I can pay it back, no problem.

That's good. It's just a bit of a tight corner just for a few weeks.

Yes. You know how it is.

Oh, yes, I know how it is.

Look, all this... All this questioning, I mean, you haven't got nothing on me

now, have you?

The insurance, I mean, they won't refuse. That's the least of your

cos I...

Just because my warehouse catches fire, it's not a crime. It's my own property.

It is, you know, especially if the flames spread.

Look, that place next door is derelict. Look, don't even know it's there. You'd

be surprised. It's screaming blue murder.

Oh, no.

Somebody could have been hurt. Did you ever stop to think about that? Look, if

some old wino chooses to bunk that... Oh, God, you don't mean... No.

Nobody was hurt.

Well, there you are, then.

Yes. There you are, then.

No need to make a big production.

I mean, I don't suppose they pay you that much.

But if you could just... I didn't hear that.

Feel like sharing it? Sharing what?

The joke.

It's just something someone just said to me.

What, our non -smoking friend? No, the same.

Have you got a statement out of him yet? No, not yet. I will do.

I needed a break, that's all.

Why don't you put your feet up? Have a cup of coffee.

I'm afraid if I stop, I'll never start again.

What I need is a spring clean up here.

Takes you down, doesn't it, sometimes, this job?

It's been known to.

Anything worthwhile come in?

One big question mark in the cells now might interest you.

A real beauty.

What sense?

Well, in every sense.

Slightly shop -soiled, but spectacular, if you like the type. You don't. Out of

my class.

Young Jimmy brought her in.

Malicious damage, assaulting a waiter, resisting arrest.

Two constables.

Including Jimmy?

Went home an hour ago, limping.

Oh!

There's not much here.

Well, there's more.

Statement of the Edwader.

Oh, a touch of our life.

Aye. It reads to I, Ellie.

Ah, at last.

At last what?

Somebody human.

Thank you.

Well, you've been cutting quite a sway through the force, haven't you?

It's what you're paid for, isn't it?

Two empty young constables, both probably about to retire into the

business. Hard luck.

It's a sign of age, don't they, when policemen look young?

A lot of them are.

Those two must have been on half -term hold.

Well, that head waiter wasn't. I don't think he's got any feeling of age just

about now.

He was slightly upset about the mirror.

I'm surprised.

I heard about that mirror.

What's so funny?

Have you ever crowned a head waiter with an ice bucket?

No. It's a very satisfying experience.

But expensive.

Oh, I'll pay, I'll pay.

Would you like to tell me exactly what happened? I have already.

Have you?

Quote. I got drunk. I smashed the mirror, I attacked the waiter, I

arrest. I plead guilty with no extenuating circumstances, unquote.

Can I go home now and have a bath?

You were in that restaurant for two hours.

Oh, all right. I was drunk.

What is that extenuating circumstance?

Not so very drunk.

You weren't there.

Well, I'm here now, and if he were that drunk, he still would be. Who stood you

up?

I beg your pardon?

You mentioned a friend, Mrs. Sanderson.

Did I?

To the waiter.

When you ordered the champagne to celebrate something.

Unavoidably detained.

My friend was unavoidably detained.

So you smashed a mirror.

It's a free country, isn't it?

There's something else you haven't mentioned.

What? £10 ,000.

I must have been drunk.

Would you like to tell me about it? No.

Were you robbed, Mrs. Sanderson?

No.

Mrs. Sanderson... A private transaction.

A purely private business transaction.

I got drunk and lost my temper.

What were you celebrating?

Off the record.

If you mean will we do anything about it? No, we won't, unless you want us to.

Unless I... What's the expression?

Press charges.

Yes.

I'll think about it.

Have you told your husband?

Do you talk to your husband?

He's dead.

I'm sorry.

Well, mine might as well be.

Divorced? Very much so.

Did he come expensive too?

I've got eyes in my head, Mrs. Sanderson. You're rich, obviously, and

obviously, lonely.

Thank you. Evil in home.

Was he worth it?

Who? The friend who stood you up.

Yes.

Mrs. Sanderson, there are laws to protect you. I don't think I did want

protection. Well, I think you did when you smashed that mirror.

Quite the smart little bitch, aren't you? Somebody has to be.

You don't understand.

Try me. No, thanks.

Well, it's all forgotten and forgiven, is it?

We had some reason for not coming.

Something must have cropped up.

Mrs Sanderson, you've already handed over that money.

You don't know Harry. He played fair.

Harry?

I still don't see it.

Sir, if you remember, in the rocket... Yes, yes, I am still holding on.

Hurry him up, will you?

In her diary, remember?

Again and again, meet Harry and know Harry among her friends that we could

And all those big withdrawals from her bank account, we took Harry on the

down. None of which was relevant to a suicide inquiry.

Well, they're relevant to her.

What do you mean? What do you mean he's left the office?

When's he coming back?

When he does, it's urgent, right? And listen, I mean urgent.

You're not going after a murder charge, are you? No, he's a good sir. He drove

her to it. She didn't have to let him.

Fill that to Juliet.

All right.

You think it's worth seeing her again?

You see, sir, I think that she... No.

So you've changed your mind? I didn't agree to anything last night. You were

prepared to. That's your opinion.

I thought you had some common sense.

There are better things in life.

Enjoying it. Are you?

On the whole.

He's apologised then.

That's none of your business. Look, I'm only trying to help.

Don't bother.

He's not the first, is he? Nor before you say it, Inspector, the last. Well,

then you must know that they're all the same.

Oh, I do.

Well, then why?

With one exception.

Harry.

You're a woman. You shop around, don't you?

He gives good value for money, Inspector.

Very good value indeed.

Until he finds another customer.

So I've got to make the most of him while I've got him, don't I?

Would you please go now?

Oh, Mrs. Hamilton, you really are the silliest, most bloody infuriating woman

I've...

Do you realise that this man may have driven a woman to suicide?

Do you expect me to go into mourning?

Well, you could at least spare a thought. No!

Why should I?

I'm a very selfish woman, you see. Or realistic. Depends on how you look at

Nobody cares what happens to me. Why should I care about others?

I'm not like you, you see. I'm not some sort of public service machine.

I want happiness.

You call this happiness?

It's a bet or not.

Aren't you going to answer the door?

Jessica, darling, I really must apologise.

Well,

what could she do?

Introduced me as the copper who wanted her to put him away.

So what did she say?

She said I was a friend of hers, just popped in to say goodbye on my way to

catch a plane for Barbados.

She's got rid of you promptly. Very promptly.

Smart woman.

She thinks on her feet.

Where another villain gets away.

Yeah, I wonder.

Wonder what?

Depends what you mean by villain.

Perhaps she does get her money's worth.

You must be quite something.

Nice to have that sort of money to throw away.

She should have seen her in court this morning.

She was fined £100 plus cost, and that mirror must have cost the earth. And all

she said was, do you take cheques?

Oh.

Were you in a hurry?

Not now that surveillance has fallen through.

Why?

Shouldn't have been unto us, shouldn't you?

And what is it now?

Could do with some rotation of forces.

Oh, that junkie you mean?

Junkie? Oh, not him.

Well, he's never touched the stuff.

Wouldn't know what a fix was if it jumped up and bit him.

Well, how was he to know that his flatmate was keeping it stashed behind

telly? Like that, isn't it? Very much like that.

Must think we come down in the last shower.

Say, it's just a matter of time before he starts screaming for it.

So you scream for me?

A new face always helps, especially a woman's.

I was thinking, it might be a good idea if you turned up in a nurse's uniform.

Oh, there is a limit.

Have you got a doctor standing by? Oh, ready and waiting.

We can't force it on him, though, can we? If he doesn't want it.

Police harassment.

Brutality.

We do that.

Good luck.

Can I get you anything?

No.

Sure? Sure.

What happened to the other bloke?

Inspector Souter. He's been pulled away.

Are you cold?

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Good.

How long have you shared a flat with your friend, Peter?

Oh, he's no friend of mine.

Oh? Not any more.

Not after letting me in for this.

Did he?

Oh, well, I wasn't to know, was I? Knew what? He was keeping the stuff.

Well, if you didn't use it yourself now. Well, I didn't. Oh, if you're right,

then. Yes.

Know him long?

Who? Your friend, Sam.

At school together.

Oh, your people know him, then?

Yes. For a long time?

Yes. Do they know you're sharing a flat with him? Do you know what rent cost?

Oh, yes, I know.

We've called them, you know, your parents.

Oh, God.

They should be here in about an hour. But did you have to do that? It's a

serious charge, Peter.

Possession of heroin.

I don't bloody possess it. It was in your flat. That's not my knowledge.

But you must have known.

How? Go on, tell me how.

Your friend was mainlining, Peter. You can't live with somebody and not know a

thing like that. Well, I can.

Peter, we don't want to come down on you.

All right.

Let me go, then.

All we want to know is where you got it. I didn't get it.

Your friend, then. How would I know that?

You must have known.

You must have seen him fixing.

There's a bathroom, isn't there?

Wasn't there ever a time when he couldn't get it?

When he couldn't meet his contact, maybe, or couldn't afford a shot?

I wouldn't know, would I?

You'd have noticed something.

Shivering.

Twitching. Got to move around, can't stand still.

Stomach cramp.

Diarrhoea. Vomiting. I never catch the stuff.

Will you roll your fleas out, Peter?

No.

Now, look, we can't force it on you, you know that. Not unless... Well, I don't.

That's all we want, Peter.

Just the name of the man who got it for you.

Nobody got it for me.

When it gets really bad, you know, the craving, you'd do anything. You'd sell

your best friend, you'd kill your own mother.

Would you now?

Do you want a glass of water?

No, thanks.

I'd have some coffee.

Nice, hot, sweet coffee. Lots of sugar. Get stuffed!

You'd have noticed something in the later stages, you know, Peter. I mean,

your friend, if he couldn't get a fix.

When it gets really bad, you lose control over yourself before you know

Please!

Stop!

Doctor's waiting outside already, soon as you say the word. I don't know what

you're talking about. Just the name, Peter, of the pusher. Just the name, so

that we can put him away so he can't do it again.

Look, we can't force it on you, Peter.

You know that, not unless you... They're on their way, sir. Should be with you

in any minute.

Just keep an eye out the front window.

Threw up then, did he?

Yeah. All over me.

Doctor's with him now.

Oh. Someone to see you, Mum.

Well, you do have an interesting job, don't you?

So she told you?

Yes, she told me.

Well, I suppose the fact that you were arrested for a thought was bound to come

up in conversation.

Mm -hm.

And you were wearing the wrong clothes, you see.

Clothes?

For Barbados.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

So, the simplest thing... A walk to tell the crew.

Clever woman, Mrs. Anderson.

Remarkably.

So now you're here.

Why?

Cat may look at a queen.

Or a police station.

Yes.

Very interesting places.

With which I'm sure you're quite familiar.

Now, what makes you think that, Inspector?

What, no form at all?

Haven't you checked?

How could I? I don't know your surname.

Ah.

Dear Jessica.

Thinks on her feet.

Let me tell you the trouble.

No form at all, officer. No.

Clean as the dew at morning.

Nice for you.

Yeah, I don't think so.

So why have you come?

Give yourself up?

Me? Give myself up?

What for?

Clear conscience.

Clear as the breeze.

So, now that you've reassured me... Do I detect a subtle hint? Well, I do have

work to do.

Which, sadly, does not include me. Very sadly.

Dear Inspector, I thought you and I could be friends.

I couldn't afford you.

Oh, I'm sure we could come to some arrangement.

Sorry. Not even with special terms.

So, if you'll excuse me...

Actually, I wondered... Wondered what?

If you wouldn't have dinner with me tonight.

Dinner?

Well, don't you want to see if they've repaired that now?

Thank you.

Harry,

this might be a tapless question, but who's paying for all this?

Come on, Maggie.

You're my guest.

And of course you could...

arrange something under the heading, perhaps, of field research.

Sir. Ma 'am?

I suppose it would be rather difficult to justify for expenses.

Unless you had an arrest to follow.

Which I won't, will I?

No. Pity.

Ma 'am's gratitude for you. I'm very grateful.

It's a delicious meal.

And the company?

Even more charming.

I enjoyed myself.

That was my intention.

Where do you live, Harry?

Are you studying a file on me?

Just curious, that's all.

Hmm. Which naturally is part of your job, eh?

Being curious.

It's never been such pleasant around, has it?

No. Well, with the far cry from the interview room at the station. Very far

indeed. And, uh, suspects throwing up all over you.

Tried to warn me, though.

He was probably a very nice boy once.

Like your son?

Like Steve.

Yes, he probably was once.

I'd like to meet you, Steve.

Over my dead body.

Actually, I've got a flat in Eaton Square.

Good address.

It's impeccable.

And impeccably furnished, no doubt.

An investment.

Like taking ladies out to dinner?

Yes, you could put it that way.

What's the use for money?

I forgot.

Mrs. Sanderson's 10 ,000.

At the moment.

And at other moments, when there are no Mrs. Sanderson's about?

Well, then you have to use the wits the good God gave you.

A few dishes, outloads. Long -term planning.

Credit cards.

Anti -purchase.

Oh, you've got furniture.

You can pay the first instalment when they've admitted Sanderson around.

And the second, how long before they're repossessed?

Months, sometimes.

Sometimes not for years.

I always go to the best stores.

Knightsbridge, of course.

Of course.

If the store repossesses, what then?

Well, then I go to another.

Mind you, it's getting more and more difficult.

Computer checking.

Yes.

Anyone would think they didn't trust you.

Do you actually own anything, for that matter?

Yes, I do.

I bought a couple of saucepans once at Walworth's.

And clothes.

Another row.

Now, there are gentlemen there.

They send you a bill once every three or four years.

I'm worried about the electricity.

Come on, you don't pay those things, do you?

What do you do about tax?

What?

Oh, no, I forgot.

No declarable income.

Exactly, no.

The other one lives.

Maggie, I'm not all that bad.

I don't live off the state.

You don't?

It isn't worth the trouble.

You just live off women?

Well, they get their money's worth.

Yes, I'm beginning to think they probably do.

Did you ever know a woman called Rogers?

Madeline Rogers?

No, no.

Why, should I?

Well, perhaps you might.

Well, I've got a terrible memory for names.

Is it important?

Not tonight.

You were very tired, weren't you?

Yes, I was.

That's why I've enjoyed tonight so much.

I haven't had to do anything.

Yet.

Meaning?

Meaning what other plans did you have for tonight?

Could there be plans in which you may care to figure?

No.

Well, I was rather afraid of that.

I'm not even going to say I'm sorry.

For what?

For wasting your investment.

Well, it wasn't exactly an investment.

Not this time.

Neither.

I need one sometimes.

Don't you? Why choose me?

Because I like you. Nothing to do with the job?

Yes, I suppose so. First, a little.

Sort of the spice of danger.

imagining those pretty hands of yours holding out the handcuffs.

No evidence, remember?

Seriously, Meg.

I do like you. Thank you.

Actually, I... I'm thinking about retirement.

You all right?

We're like boxes, my love. We don't last.

Look.

Look under my eyes.

In a couple of years, there'll be bags there.

The muscles around my chin are beginning to go already.

I'm not in the flight.

That's the second time you've been careful first thing every morning.

It's very funny.

I'm sorry.

I was just thinking about all the Mrs.

Sanderson's and you.

Every morning, locking yourself in the bathroom.

It really isn't funny, you know, Maggie.

So what will you do?

Find some woman to make an honest man of you?

God forbid.

I'm sick of the sight of women.

No, thanks.

No, not you. You're different.

On again, thank you.

Maggie, let me tell you something.

There is nothing, nothing quite so boring as a full -time woman.

Or so stupid.

Emotional? Mm -hmm.

And afraid.

Like my suspects.

Oh?

Well, they know they're lying, I know they're lying, they know that I know,

we still have to play the whole game all through.

The Sherlock Holmes spirit wearing off a bit, eh?

Yes. It does sometimes.

Why don't you chuck it in?

Just like that.

Just like that.

Good, I suppose.

There's Ray's pension and the mortgage is paid off.

Ray? My husband.

Much?

Not enough to afford you, Harry.

Anyway. Anyway what?

Ray had to die first before I could get him.

What about a part -time job?

And be bored?

Set up a business, perhaps. Well, why not?

Anything you fancy?

I'm only trained to do one thing.

A detective agency?

Yes, possibly.

Then you could give me a job.

As a trained assistant.

Trained as what?

Well, I could provide you with evidence in divorce cases.

I don't think you and I see abstract justice in quite the same way, Harry.

That's your trouble, Maggie.

You take life too seriously.

And you don't.

You don't care about anything, do you?

No. Not really.

It'll catch up with you one day, you know.

Yes, sir.

No, no, seriously. I mean, supposing one of your clients?

Um, friends.

Supposing one of your friends decides to lay a charge?

How would you feel if they did?

I don't know.

You should, Meg. Should what?

Chuck it in.

Get a job.

Set up a business, perhaps.

And then, one day... Perhaps what?

Come live with me and be my lover.

I might even get a job for you, if you insist.

But not if I can help it.

I'll bear it in mind.

Do me.

Just like that.

Chuck it in.

Just like that.

Why not?

Just a minute.

Steve? You awake?

Mrs. Sanderson, it is three o 'clock in the morning. I was asleep.

I am very tired. I am also off duty.

Won't this please keep until tomorrow?

Oh, I don't think you'd like to have that on your conscience, Inspector,

so public -spirited.

I'll call you back, you know.

If you do, I'll take them.

These tablets.

All of them.

Oh, Mrs. Dutton, credit me with some sense. You're not the suicidal type.

How can you be sure, Inspector?

You don't really know me, do you?

Oh, I wish to God I didn't. Look, Mrs. Sounderson.

What? Please,

go on with Jessica.

Now, look.

I know what else to turn to.

I'm too alone.

Oh, now, that's nonsense.

There are all sorts of worthwhile organisations.

I don't... to do, you see.

Whether to end it all or just end him.

End who?

Harry.

You've been cheating on me.

Hard luck.

We were to meet at this party, you see, tonight.

A wedding anniversary.

Old friends of mine.

And he didn't come.

Oh.

I've been ringing his number ever since I got home.

Taken the phone off the hook. So why don't you go round and see him?

Oh. The girl's got some pride, hasn't she?

After all, there's no knowing what I would find there.

Oh, who?

So, what shall I do, Inspector?

Press charges?

Hand him over to you?

You'd like that, wouldn't you? Make a nice fat arrest.

It's a great deal of my money, Inspector, and I'm no longer a satisfied

customer.

You could call it fraud, couldn't you?

Or something under the Trade Description Act?

Now, look, Mrs Sanderson.

Look, do you really want my advice? Oh, yes, please.

Throw those tablets away, go to bed, come to the station tomorrow and we'll

it all over.

Tomorrow might be too late, Inspector.

Oh, now, look, if you really wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't be ringing

me.

Look.

I know what you're going to do when you hang up that phone.

You're going to go to bed and you're going to sleep like a baby till about 11

'clock tomorrow morning. Now, I won't.

I have to be on duty at 8 .30.

Awake. Alert.

And if I don't get back to sleep now, I won't be able to.

So good night.

Morning. Morning.

Morning.

There's a gentleman to see you.

He's insisting on seeing a senior officer.

Morning, sir.

Detective Inspector Forbes. Can I help you?

Isn't it possible to see a man?

Well, certainly it is if you're prepared to wait.

Might be some time, ma 'am. There's that away match today, remember?

Ah. Is it urgent? Oh, very. Very urgent.

Besides, I have to be at work in half an hour.

Well, in that case... Oh, it's just that I'd prefer to talk to a man, you see.

So, seems to be the trouble.

Well, you see, my wife's away.

Her mother is not well, and I met this chap who used to be in my office.

last night on my way home, and he said, why not come and have a drink, he said.

He knew this pub, you see.

I see.

Anyway, we went to this pub, and we had a few drinks, and after a while, this

young lady came up. Well, two young ladies came up, to be precise, and

I think perhaps I'd better see a man.

By all means, sir, I mean, if you... You won't tell my wife about this, will

you?

Well, I can't, can I? I mean, I don't know what it is. I mean, we'll have to

to court or something.

I'm afraid I didn't say. Oh, God.

Oh, it's 22.

This young lady, she came up to us, you see.

What's going on?

The Midland Express has pulled in, that's what happened. We've 500

fans on board, of which half have just passed through our patch.

And now in the cells?

Most of them. You should see the ones I said the first day.

It's been one of those days, hasn't it? Yeah. Can you send someone to bring me a

couple of coffees to my office? I can't find anyone upstairs.

Whatever it is our friend wants to say, he can't get it out. I'll do my best.

Oh, ma 'am.

Someone left this for you. Said you'd know who it was.

And would you give him a ring when you have a moment?

I won't have to appear in court, will I?

Let's hope not.

Well, she seems such a nice young lady. Oh, yes, I'm sure she was.

Officer? Hmm?

Any chance of a car to get me to the office?

I'll see what I can do.

Constable?

Inspector Forbes?

Inspector, this is Jessica. Did you go back to sleep last night? Now, look, Mrs

Sanderson. Mrs Sanderson, if you'll forgive me, we're very busy here. Now,

you want to see me, will you please come into the station?

Not very helpful.

Well? Shall I?

That's up to you, my dear. I should.

I should really, you know.

Then why don't you?

You wouldn't enjoy it, Harry.

You really mean it, don't you? Oh, yes.

I mean it.

Well, I'm waiting.

For what? An apology?

For last night. Would I get one if I was?

No.

That's what I like about you, Harry.

You lay it on the line.

Like or want?

Both.

I'm not for sale, Jess.

You could have fooled me.

Going? Yes.

Thinking about it?

Bettering the police station again.

Who was she, Harry, last night?

Look, I told you, Jess.

I am not for sale.

Of course, even prostitutes have their fancy pieces, don't they?

That you have paid for.

And could continue to.

The keeps.

Till death do us part.

Isn't there something about...

A wife not giving evidence against her husband?

Blackmail.

Oh, I think so, don't you?

Have you actually laid charges?

All it needs is my signature.

So, it's a straight choice, isn't it, my love?

Her Majesty's pleasure?

Well, how long, I wonder?

Oh, mine.

The keeps.

It was nice while it lasted.

What was?

You're wrong, Jess.

It's never quite as simple as a straight choice.

Is it?

Thought he'd be round here, tail between his legs.

Wife not back yet, I suppose.

The source of our information is at this stage confidential.

Crap.

Sally, just how many girls live in that flat?

Nine. No, tell a lie. Eight. Rita moved out last week. And you're all air

hostesses? That's right.

Which airlines?

Oh, I'm on leave at the moment.

Permanent leave?

I'm looking around. And the others?

Why don't you ask them?

I'm asking you.

Can't tell you what they're doing. Sorry.

You charge high, don't you?

What for?

If you hadn't been so greedy.

If? They wouldn't be a complaint out against you.

Oh, some people should be so lucky.

Meaning?

You can't even pass the time of day with a bloke in a pub these days. It puts

you into the police.

Sally, you're not being charged for chatting up a bloke in a pub. Can't I?

Not this time, no. You're being charged with what happened later.

Oh?

But nothing happened later.

Well, that's not what we've been told.

His word against mine, isn't it?

That's right. So what am I being charged with, then?

Have you ever been told that it's an offence to keep a bawdy hearse?

I'll say it again.

Say what?

Baldy house.

Sounds so marvellous.

Now, look, Sally, we could get you on soliciting. We have before, remember?

But this is a much tougher charge that could tramp your style for a bit longer.

Now, that flat is in your name, isn't it?

Clever lady. What do you do? Sit up nights studying?

I've got nothing better to do.

So, what have you got?

The word of a little creep who tried to touch me up in a pub and then squealed

because he didn't get to first base.

Didn't he?

Can he prove he did? He can prove he visited your flat.

My board, he has. That's right.

So, all right, I offered him a coffee. Then I threw him out when he got fresh.

Say what?

It's his word against yours, Sally. In court.

Oh, don't make me laugh. Him in court.

With wifey sitting in the back row.

How do you know he's the only one?

Oh.

I've told you, you charge high. That's the way to get dissatisfied customers.

Her name, one half.

Now we're getting some.

Like where? Oh, give up.

Sally, you know you can't win.

Suppose I didn't win.

Just for the sake of argument, suppose you believe some of these creeps rather

than me. What would I get?

Just as a matter of interest.

For keeping, what was it, a baldy house?

Or brothel.

Under section 35 of the Sexual Offences Act, 1956...

And if a person did that?

For an offence committed after a previous conviction, six months or £250

both. £250?

Maggie, it's a poem. What happened? Buy down a lemon?

Amazing bag.

People think they can get away with murder.

They frequently do.

Well, here's one that won't for very much longer.

The con man you're after, Lady Prince decided to put him in.

Would you bring her back here with me? Oh, and Maggie.

Yes?

Well, you'd better send her up.

No need.

She's here already.

Well, when you've finished.

I know, back to the boring.

You're a free man to the pumps.

Ten minutes, all right?

When you're ready.

Come in.

Mrs Dynaston, Inspector.

I've decided to lay a complaint.

Please, sit down.

I gave him this money, you see. The ten thousand pounds.

He said he needed it for his business.

Something to do with buying shares. A family business.

Did you believe him?

Of course I didn't. Do you think I... Of course I did. I'm confused, that's all.

I believed him implicitly.

And now?

Now I know he was lying.

So I've thrown him out.

I see.

Is that all?

Wouldn't it enough?

Well, I would appreciate a few more details.

Inspector, just as a matter of theoretical speculation,

supposing he were to leave the country, go to Europe or America, say,

he couldn't come back, could he, to this country? I mean, you'd be waiting for

him, if he did, to put him in prison?

Well, let's cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we? If we come to it.

Now, about those details, it's money.

Was it cash or cheque?

Um, I want the exact date.

Or dates. Was it in one lump sum or an instalment? I suppose there are only

witnesses.

My privacy will be respected, of course. Sorry?

In court.

I mean, I will just be Mrs. X.

Well, I don't think we can promise that.

It was hardly rape, was it?

Oh, God.

He'd say I was lying.

Say I only gave him the money for... For services rendered, he might.

The press would simply wallow.

No.

No, it isn't worth it.

Not even for £10 ,000?

Oh, that.

So you're withdrawing the complaint?

What? Complaint?

Excuse me.

Yes?

I'll be right down.

Excuse me.

I haven't actually made... I will be back in a moment.

Well, thanks.

I was hoping it was the trouble.

The trouble?

A little resting, you.

Dear Jessica?

Pouring it all out upstairs. Oh, nearly all of it, all was. Am I right in

assuming a woman scorned?

Yes, I feel so.

She, uh, really didn't care for me leaving her.

Harry, I know last night you wanted to retire, but isn't going to prison rather

doing it the hard way?

Well, not exactly.

I'm not precisely retired.

Not quite yet. No, I didn't think you were. Actually, I'm going abroad.

Who with?

Her name's Hermione.

You'd like her, maybe.

She keeps Spaniards.

You like Spaniards?

It's my job, isn't it?

Well, thanks, anyway.

For what?

For putting your head in a lion's mouth.

Just to say goodbye.

Well, to be perfectly honest, I do carry some insurance.

£10 ,000?

Hermione must be a very generous woman.

Yes, she is.

You see, I do intend coming back someday, Maggie, and I don't really want

find you at Heathrow, waiting for me with the handcuffs.

Clean as the dew at morning.

Leave it.

Well, actually, Harry, you needn't have bothered.

She isn't laying a complaint after all.

She's just realised it'll all come out in the newspapers.

Dear Jessica.

In that case, why don't you keep it yourself?

Bribery for police officer in front of witnesses?

It's hardly bribery. After all, I'm not being charged, remember?

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you treat it as an investment?

My investment in that little business venture of ours.

Ours? When I get bored with the Spaniards.

And you get bored with all of it?

Well, thanks.

Harry, that's very generous of you, but there is just one thing I want to say

more than that.

What's that?

Mrs. Sanderson's face when I give this money back to you.

Is that why you do this job?

To see the expression on their faces when they get caught?

Well, it's an ignoble thought, but it has crossed my mind.

Yeah, I'll get in there, mate. You'll be all right there.

Till I get bored with the space.

I won't hold my breath.

Two minutes, all right?

Just one little job I want to finish off first.