Original subtitles

Can't you read? Yeah, of course I can read. What does it say?

Checks accepted with check card.

Right. Now, in the right hand, a check.

In the left hand, a check card.

Same signature on both. And I keep telling you, sir, the numbers don't

And I keep telling you the signatures do. Damn good match. It's not the

signatures I'm complaining about. It's the numbers. Who cares? I care. So sue

them back. Don't tell me. I'm sorry, I can't accept it.

What can you say?

Now look, sunshine, I'll show you my driver's license. I'll show you my MZ

membership card. Throw him your dick.

Would that help? I'm sorry.

Oh, don't be such a bug. You keep out of this. Why?

Why should I? Don't stick your oar in you.

Talk to me like that and I'll hang one on you. Shut your face.

Just because you've got your bleeding monkey jacket on. For God's sake, are we

going to argue about this for the rest of the night?

I don't like being told what to do. All right, all right. If not... Look, you're

beautiful. I tend to be the problem.

Oh, no.

What's wrong with the commissioner? Couldn't he make it?

This has been going on a long time, Inspector.

Right, let's sort it out, shall we? Did he send for you?

No, we just happened to be passing.

You're not raiding this cold cellar, are you? No, sir, not tonight.

Let me know if you do. I'll be there.

I think it's the man in drag.

Oh, shut up. It seems to be the problem. I'm trying to pay the bill.

I've given them my cheque, I've given them my bank card. The numbers don't

match. What do you mean?

Of course, there's one code number on the cheque and one on the cheque card.

Jeremy, we've been going over this for the last 20 minutes.

Mr Millie, you're billed for £43.

What do you have for that? Two bottles of fizzy apple juice.

Champagne. Champagne, my arse.

Apple juice.

And the company of Miss Scarlett O 'Hara.

I'm not Irish. If they don't sell another thing all week, they've done

I told you I was Irish.

Scarlett O 'Hara wasn't Irish.

Say, I'm sorry.

Mr Miller, are you complaining?

Do I look as if I'm complaining?

I just want to go.

Take the squizzer creature away. Till you've paid your bill, you're not

air on her head. I have paid. God, thank you. You think I have phony cards

printed up specially to chip creeps like you?

Why do you shout, sir? Nobody's deaf. No one listens.

Do I look Irish?

I mean, tell me, do I?

No, darling, you don't look Irish.

Welsh. He's the Welsh, yeah? Now, one more crack like that and you'll... Mr.

Miller, are you quite happy to pay your bill?

I'm happy.

That's my... I can't accept it. Won't, not can't. Can't.

Right, that's it. Quiet.

Now, legally, the position is this gentleman is not obliged to show you his

check card.

He's not? No. That's news.

That's the law. Rum law.

Rum or not, it's the law. Now, you can either accept or refuse to accept his

check. You mean to say I've got to accept that check knowing it might well

bouncing job? Yes, sir. It's entirely up to you.

Great. Told you. But it is not a police matter.

You hear that? Not.

N -O -T.

Unless, of course, it becomes a disturbance.

In which case, we'll nick the lots of you. So, what are you going to do, old

bean? Take it or leave it.

I forgot to ask. Was service included?

Drop dead.

You're not driving, I hope.

Well, I'm not cycling, not even to please you.

No, we'll take a taxi. Perhaps we can drop you somewhere.

No, thank you, sir. We already have a car.

Oh, in that case, perhaps you'll drop us.

You stick to your taxi, sir. Good night.

Sleep tight.

Ah, you've got a coat, pussycat.

What made you think I was Irish?

Morning,

Mum.

Kettle -boiled, is it?

Sorry, I didn't think.

What would it take for you to make a cup of tea and bring me one up the bell?

A miracle?

About it, yes.

Tomorrow, you think.

I'm the first one.

How would your granddad go over a sack?

About ten, I think.

For you.

Ron Greenwood picked Tony Carey, did he?

What?

Surprised you, didn't you? Surprised? I've been in shock all day.

Where's Tony Carey?

I don't know. Football and some sort, isn't it? You get beaten up with trade.

No, no, it was his manager, silly.

Oh, well, that's right.

Sounded good the first bit.

So, what were you up to last night?

Rocking around.

Played a few records.

Before or after the boozer?

Your day for surprises, isn't it? How?

Who told you?

Let's say a little bird told you. Shall we?

You and the sworn public bar, beer foam from ear to ear. It was only a half.

Steve, you're 16.

16 going on 17? 16!

No? Bread.

Please.

I look older.

Last night, according to my little bird... Your publican didn't say

He got picked up in front of a D .I. with the Met. Look, Hugh, wouldn't it

a field day for the local rag?

I never fool... You never do. All right. It's not all right. It's all wrong.

You're too damn selfish.

Now, come on, Steve. Start to think about other people.

I'm sorry.

All right.

That's it.

Now, no more beer drinking until you're older.

What luck.

First time ever.

Yeah, that's what half the villains say when they get their collars felt.

I do know what it is, you know.

You do?

Just remember one thing.

You don't miss him any more than I do.

How?

Message understood.

Charlie Bravo over and out.

Clean your teeth. Give them a treat. We're out of toothpaste.

Well, you know what to do.

Well, get on with this.

Keeps love.

I only just heard. I'd come nice in my time, Maggie, but this.

Claire, what's the full story?

He croaked, didn't he? Where?

Who was he? Oh, a dumb punter. Out of town.

Regular? Never seen him before.

They're doing the PM about now.

Sounds like his heart. Yeah, I suppose so.

Had a living for sex, but dying for it. Who was with him?

Felina. Do I know her?

Nice kid. Coloured girl. New.

Where is she now?

Home. Well, if you have one dying, you'd take something over.

So, tell me what was happening.

Are you kidding?

Something like that short, is it?

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, love.

I didn't mean it like that.

It's just... Look, I'm in bother.

Big bother. Look, we get closed down for... Shh! Facts.

Had he been drinking?

Yeah, some, but not drunk.

Sauna? Yeah.

Then? In here.

Massage? Olive oil, cologne spray.

What sort of sex? Straight. Oh, fast and tight.

How old?

Late 40s.

Coronary country.

The question is, love, what can you do about it?

I don't honestly know.

I'll have a word with my governor.

Thank you, love. I mean, stop. Believe me. Yeah, I can guess. No, you can't.

Look, if I blow this, he's got his fixer, a mulch.

He's got his nasty little trick of coming up to you and saying, can you

Slashing you with his razor.

Ricky Turkus.

I hate to remind you, love, but you've had good work from me. Yes, I know, I

know. That's why I'm here, isn't it?

Still, I don't have a magic lamp.

OK, OK.

Frankie. I'll give us a break.

Since when? How clean!

Liar.

Oh, I can see it in your eyes.

Just... What is that, Maggie?

And I'll kick it, I promise you. Don't promise me, promise yourself.

Get me off the hook, love. That's all I ask.

Afternoon, Mum.

Morning, Dad.

All quiet in the home, son?

Got a joker for you in the cell.

Says he's kidnapped the Pope.

Just took care of him. Offered him a cup of tea.

Nice. Doesn't touch it.

His sudden death last night in the sauna. Who was handling it with him?

Jane. It's Aunt Lou.

You've got an extra kin?

That's the wife.

Widow. On her way from Stoke -on -Trent.

Alone? I don't know.

Chief wants to see you.

I've got an idea.

Maybe I shouldn't say it. I've got an idea. You're right.

Who out this hell's angels?

What's the SP on him?

Blood and matted hair on a bicycle chain.

Says he can't remember who he is.

Nice.

There's definitely something coming up. The point is, can you spare a couple of

lads?

Well, that's like asking how long's a piece of string.

There's a lot going on here, too.

Well, you must have someone.

Look, listen, George.

It'd be a shame if you blanked. It could be a nice one. I mean, something goes

off, you know about it. It's not going to look too clever, is it?

All right, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, give me a bell.

Sorry,

no thanks.

I've just come from Frankie's sauna.

And? It's been all right, Tony. Yeah, we've all got problems.

I promised I'd help.

You did? Yes. Hope you can deliver.

You can help me.

How? Okay, if I ring the pathologist.

Wait a time, yeah? Go ahead. Phone by all means.

She's afraid of losing her ticket.

She's not a bad judge.

I've had a lot of work out of her. You've had a lot of work out of her.

Anyway, I said I'd do what I could. You can't do more.

Who's going to talk to the dead man's widow?

Ah, yeah.

I'm glad you mentioned that, Maggie.

I bet.

What's that supposed to mean? Nothing.

How will you wrap it up?

I won't.

I'll walk around there, tell her it was a knocking shop and that he bought it on

active service.

All right, all right, all right. She'll win. What do you want me to do?

Buy you coffee?

I have this problem.

Oh, yeah?

Bread. Or rather, the lack of it.

When I say bread, I don't mean the daily variety, sliced and wrapped.

Know what I mean?

What do you mean?

Cash. Exactly.

As in cash flow.

The only trouble is, mine doesn't.

Doesn't flow.

Rough again.

I need to make 20 pounds.

Like now.

Any ideas?

Yeah.

Go home.

Why not?

Not all.

Am I that unattractive?

Tell me.

You're a very pretty girl.

Pretty girl heading for trouble.

Why don't you go home?

Look, straight answer.

Do you fancy me or not?

Are you soliciting?

I hadn't thought of it like that.

Yes, if you like, I'm soliciting.

Your place or mine?

Darling, it is not your lucky day.

I'm a copper.

Linda. Is it this time?

Detective Inspector 4.

What does that mean?

Well, if Detective Inspector puts you off, why not think of me as Maggie?

I'll try.

You're 15.

I've got a son only a little older. Does that help?

Maybe.

Hello, 15 -year -old Linda.

What are you doing chatting up men in coffee bars?

Is there a law against it? At your age?

Oh, yes.

Still, let's talk about you first, shall we?

You live in Esher?

Close by.

Know it.

Of it?

What's your dad do?

He's in advertising.

You know that commercial about the little man in the wheelchair?

End of story.

Anyway, he doesn't live with us.

You with your mother?

Yes. They've split up?

Got his marching orders.

Is that how they talk about it?

I'll have to contact her.

Perhaps you'd better give me her number.

Susan!

Funniest thing! What?

Phone call from London. Oh, for me? Yes.

No, they're not there now. Well, you see,

when they said Mrs Scott...

Naturally, I said yes. They didn't say which Mrs. Cott.

I'm sorry, I didn't... Doesn't matter.

You never stop to imagine. Who was it?

It was the police. What?

About Linda.

Linda? She's in London.

Oh, rubbish. She's not school. We know she is.

According to this man, she's at a police station in London.

Don't believe a word of it.

Anyway, they want you to go up there.

When? Now.

Now? Oh, yes, and they want you to take her birth certificate.

I don't know offhand where it is.

It's not some sort of hoax. It didn't seem like it.

Did you write the number down?

Yes, it's on the phone.

I'll soon get to the bottom of this.

Give the fire a poke.

Crime to burn them, you know. Make marvellous compost.

Take a hundred years to rot.

Was he worried about his weight?

No.

Did he take saunas regularly?

Obvious. You don't know Stoke -on -Trent.

It's not like Vegas.

And when you get seven mile out, they're still talking about the takeaway

Chinese.

So his saunas weren't on the usual schedule?

Definitely not.

Was he... Look, forgive me for having to ask this, but was he anything of a

drinker? Ah, word is out.

Yeah.

One of the great elbow raisers of our time, huh, Jim?

Yes, well, I'm afraid that that was all part of the trouble.

How do you mean?

Well, we know you shouldn't drink and drive. Well, you shouldn't drink and

saunas. No.

No.

Apparently you've been drinking beer.

I would.

Quite a few pints.

I would.

Yes, well, get into a sauna and that can lead to a condition called

hyperthermia. Oh, what old people die of. Oh, no.

Quite the opposite.

It's like heat stroke.

It affects the body's heat control mechanism.

And that's what he died of?

Well, what he'd like to say on the death certificate, I'm not sure, but that's

all part of it.

Hadn't he had some heart trouble?

No.

Didn't any insurance company turn him down?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that was two years ago.

I'm very sorry, Mrs Bond.

So? What happens now?

The coroner's office will take care of you.

Got any children?

No. Don't like them.

Better things to do with me time.

Didn't he mind?

Didn't let him.

Second marriage.

He'd done it all before.

Got two daughters.

Cows.

It's not early clothing on Oxford Street, is it?

No.

It's no such thing.

Good.

You don't reckon I've got any, do you?

Only one way you can prove it.

A white tea, don't you think? Go on, get on with it.

Very nice.

White for mercy, you know.

Do you really think I'm Alexandra?

I'll tell you something, you ain't never going to find out.

All right, Chas, you get a pass in last thing.

Enough. Leave.

What makes you think I've got something?

Come on, don't be shy.

No, really, I told you. Look, we saw you.

Saw me? Yeah, you were going up down the ice rink.

Oh, well, it did. I just popped a few BHS in there.

Fell off the back of a counter.

You must have been there. I was.

Shall we see, then?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Show us, Flasher.

Very nice.

Bage is the rage.

That's not Bage, is it?

Bates.

All right, you pass me.

Seven out of ten for Bates.

Steve?

Show us what you've got.

I haven't got any.

Chicken.

Just haven't had time. Oh, poor little thing.

How long does it take?

No, I haven't. Look at him.

I'll get them. Like when?

After dinner.

Today?

Well...

Yeah, why not?

You're on.

We'll come with you.

I can't. I've got to do my geography.

Lend him a note.

No. All right, look, Ginny, you stay behind, and the rest of us will go

duty.

And they've got to be red.

Red?

Pillar box red.

Do they do them in red?

Look at him. Do they do them in red?

They might not have them. They will.

If not, ask.

We'll just say we want to try them out.

It's a trial run.

Don't forget, B -boy.

I won't.

I reckon he's got a case of no bottle out, Steve.

I've seen Sergeant Truman over here, Squire.

Squat shape, ginger.

Hello, sport. What are you doing here? City.

What you been nicked for?

I haven't been.

Well, you're not here for the local colour, are you?

I was in the fire.

You smell a bit scorched.

The ungreat fire of London.

What, Russell Park?

Yes.

You lead a pretty full life, don't you? Very full. Nearly overflowing.

What happened to Whistle?

The club are you gear?

Well, it got burned, didn't it?

What about Scarlett O 'Hara?

Don't tell me she got toasted. It's a long story, officer.

It's all right, I'm in no hurry.

Is there coffee?

Yeah, it could be.

I reckon it could be something else. That's it.

Here, go on, please yourself.

Finish your story.

Where was I?

Scarlett O 'Hara.

Oh, yeah.

Well, we got back to her place. She insists on another couple of drinks,

Marys.

Had to be bloody Mary.

Well, she passed out on you.

Yeah.

One minute she's prancing round the flat, naked as nature, waggling

Seconds later, she's headfirst down the toilet looking for Australia.

Well, pain deferred, eh?

Not too loud, please.

Bit fragile?

Like broken biscuits.

So what did you do then?

Left her.

Oh, very gallant.

Don't you feel a bit...

There, if you know what I mean.

Just her.

Snoring.

I'll bubble at the corner of her mouth.

Then what?

Then I called into a little after -hours drinking club.

Aye, aye.

What was her name? I never knew.

Well, best to keep it that way, innit? Strictly professional.

Oh, yeah.

Was she Irish, too?

No, she was. She was very dusky.

Well, back to her place then, was it?

We deserve something, if only for persistence.

I didn't get it.

Well, it wasn't for want of trying, was it?

It was a fourth -floor walk -up, that much I do remember.

And? Another round of drinks.

Of course.

And there was some shouting.

Well, I fired down below.

Very like it.

Couldn't get down the stairs, because they were ablaze.

Couldn't get up, because we were up.

So what happened?

Fire brigade got us out through the window.

Lucky. You don't know how.

Came down that ladder like a sack of coal, wearing a tablecloth and a soppy

grin. Click, some newspaper's got my photograph.

Like a nice souvenir.

Very keen on her album, the wife.

Still call it swinging London, didn't they?

See, if he'd have taken my check, none of this would have happened.

Oh, dear.

You can't blame it all on the bank.

We'd have been left half an hour sooner.

Without the aggro, she wouldn't have got all head up.

Without that, she wouldn't have drunk so much. A couple of hours later, I'd have

been back in my hotel, snug as a bug.

Ah, well.

It's all part of life's rich tapestry, isn't it, sir?

Ah, that's what it is, isn't it?

Mrs. Scottmore.

Oh, come in. Thank you.

Would you like to sit there?

Are you in spectacles?

You expected a man?

I did, yes.

Well, by the part, I think women do this type of work better. At least the men

think so. Maybe.

But I really would prefer to deal with a man.

Well, as from this moment, I'm dealing with Linda.

Nonetheless, my preference stands.

I should point out to you that the establishment on this station is for 15

officers.

Today, only five of them are operational.

I might keep it out on a job. It might be late afternoon, early evening before

can see you. I see.

However, I do respect your wishes. We'll get on, shall we?

As you wish.

Where is Linda?

Last time I saw her, she was getting herself something to eat.

I'd like...

to talk to her.

Yes, you will.

In a few moments. Did you bring her birth certificate?

And she is 15.

15, eight months.

Pretty girl.

You had trouble with her before?

What do you call trouble?

Has she ever run away before?

No. Ever threatened to? No, no need.

What was the need this time?

You have a good relationship?

I'd say so.

That sounded... defensive.

If it did, it's because I'm not used to sorting through my emotional laundry in

public.

Yes, I appreciate that.

Do you?

Yes, most unpleasant.

However, there are some things that we do need to establish.

Apparently, Linda spent last night in London.

Oh, I'm told. Where did you think she was? With a friend. Girlfriend, of

Practising French oral.

O -levels.

She said she spent the night with two Cypriots.

Back of Tottenham Court Road somewhere.

She said she had sex with them both.

You're waiting for me to say something.

Is this something you wanted to say? I don't believe it.

Well, as a matter of fact, it isn't true.

It doesn't seem to be.

She's been examined.

By whom?

By our divisional surgeon at her surgery.

You didn't think of waiting till I got here? Mrs Scott, we had no idea how long

you'd be. Now, this kind of evidence doesn't keep.

We could have been dealing with USI, unlawful sexual intercourse. Linda is

yet 16, and that's a criminal offence.

We could also have been dealing with a case of BD infection.

So she's still a virgin?

No. Apparently not. I don't believe it.

Well, your own GP will verify it, or anything.

We're discussing an adolescent girl, you know. Not something belonging to the

National Trust.

Guided tours every half hour. We're discussing a girl who was picked up in a

West End coffee bar behaving like a common prostitute.

You got nicked?

What? Who by?

Store detectives. Oh, my God.

How did it happen?

They went to look up to the door, then they stopped him.

Well, where's he now?

They took him off somewhere.

Well, what did he say?

I can't hear.

Poor old Steve.

4 -9 -10 -4 -17.

Coffee, please.

Sorry, not coffee. Will you have tea?

Very well.

I'd like to talk to my daughter alone.

Thank

you.

Thank you very much indeed.

Why not an ad in the evening standard?

I don't know.

You don't understand.

Oh, right.

There's egg on your chin.

Oh, I'll do it.

Why?

Why inflict this on me?

That's no answer.

I warned you.

Of what?

I can't take it anymore.

had anything to take in the whole of your overprotected, overindulged,

existence.

See, I told you.

What is it you can't take?

Pressure.

Pressure?

I don't know what the word means.

He understands.

Who's he?

One of our Cypriot friends?

Dad.

Oh, I see.

We have him to thank, do we?

He knows how I feel.

Well, I have told you before.

Any time you want to try your luck in Earl's court with him and Earth Mother,

that's fine by me. I'm sure there's a room. Well, if not a whole room, a bed.

not a bed, the sleeping bag.

Part of a sleeping bag.

You admit you stole them?

Well, I've lost choice.

Look, scrub the choice. Were you stealing them or not?

Yes. Who were they for?

Girlfriend? Sister?

Yourself? No one in particular.

No one?

That's right.

There's a word for that.

You make any attempt to get away?

No. What did he say?

Struth. Words to that effect.

Bit of a twit, aren't you, son?

I'll tell you what happens.

I'll be arresting you.

We go down to the local nick, local station.

We book you in, call your parents and see if you've got any form. I told you I

don't. You won't mind if we check.

And then when your dad comes... My dad's dead.

Your mum, then. Got a mum?

We'll have a chat with my governor.

If you're lucky and clean, you'll probably be bailed into her custody.

Leave it to our discretion.

Don't we all wait?

You do scripture at school?

Yeah. Then what's the eighth commandment?

We used to call it shoplifting, but that was too cosy. Didn't sound like a

crime.

Now we've gone back to calling it thieving.

Jimmy? Yes, Mum?

That's by the end of Scott, kid.

I don't think I wasn't tempted.

I bet.

When she pulled you, was there any possible way she could have known who

were? What do you mean, that I was old Bill?

Yeah. No.

I've met Alfie, a snout of mine.

Coffee, bunny.

Did you see you pay him?

Didn't give him anything.

How long were you in there?

Ten minutes, top whack.

What does he call you?

Uncle.

What do you think of him?

He's not cut out to be your runaway part -time grass.

Mum, your governor wants a word. He's off as soon as possible. Don't pop that

up.

Have a seat.

I agree.

I mean, Gramecia, a mother like that, what would she know about it?

All that Harold Robbins has told her?

That's about it.

If she ever heard what one of those creepy flag merchants wanted, she'd run

three -minute mile.

Yeah?

Shut the door, Maggie.

Not having the best of runs, love.

Who is it? You're not. Bad news. Young Steve.

He's been done for shoplifting.

What? Afraid so.

I can't believe it. Where was this?

Just had your local factory on. Chief Inspector Fern. No?

No, I don't know any of them. Not the uniformed bots.

It was picked up stealing a pair of ladies' panties. Red ones.

Why? Why, I don't know. You'd better get over there and ask him that, hadn't

you?

Yeah.

Anything I can do, any help I can give, just bail me, right?

Sure, he knows.

He knows.

Sue!

What the hell are you doing here?

Waiting for World War III.

Well, it's Dot. I was trying to work out who... Who she was, where you met, why

she was here.

What is it? I've only got a minute.

Is there somewhere we can talk?

I don't know. We're only here to rehearse a presentation.

If you can wait... I can't.

Look, sit down, will you?

It's the, um, Longman account. If we don't come through, they say MRP will

it off them. There's plenty of others.

Well, it's all right for you.

I'll tell you how right it is.

I spent half the day at the police station.

Why? Because Linda Treasure, fired, no doubt, by your large pep talk, was

up selling her body in a coffee bar.

What? There isn't time to repeat everything.

She told the police she'd been shacked up with a house full of Cypriots.

No. No, as it turned out. When was this?

Last night.

Wasn't she at home? Well, obviously not. Well, where the hell was she? Don't use

that tone of voice with me because you'll shatter us. Look, like you said,

isn't time.

She told me she was staying at Kate's.

Kate's that great, that lovely... I know who Kate is.

And instead she was in London. So quick.

Have you seen her? Oh, yes.

All I've got is that you'll understand.

Do you?

Understand what? About the pressure.

The part of your weekend dialogue, no doubt.

Don't worry about the Brussels sprouts, dear. Have some more profiteroles.

Now, what about that nasty pressure? We didn't even discuss it. I took her to

the cinema. Ex -certificate, I hear. Excellent choice.

Was the Louis Mal?

Hello?

Well, she wanted to see it.

Good God, what harm... Exactly.

Well, if you can break away from peddling tooth decay to unsuspecting

children... I can't.

Tom, she needs you. I'm sorry, it's not possible. They need me.

What's that?

It's a bleeper.

They use them here. It means they're ready to start. It looked...

Better on Dr Kildare.

I'll, um, I'll call you.

Why? Well, to find out what happened.

Don't bother.

What do you mean? I mean if you can't come now and help, don't bother.

Look, this meeting is crucial.

It's make or break.

My neck.

Fine.

I hope it works out.

I'll call.

This evening.

As with most doors today, there's a reluctance to prosecute.

Yes, I understand.

I have to send the papers to the Juvenile Bureau.

As you know, an officer will come round to the house.

When will that be?

They'll contact you first.

He'll want to talk to you.

And, Steve, report on...

Home conditions, background and so on.

From what you tell me about your husband, I imagine we can end it there.

With a caution.

Yes. And if not?

The papers will go upstairs and it'll be a straightforward prosecution.

Hang on, I'll get PC Wilson.

It was a gag. A gag? A dare, a bet.

Did you tell him that?

There's no point. Why not? Drop the others in it. How many others? It

matter.

Oh, Steve, you're such a fool. You don't understand.

Oh, that's what they all say. That's a great cop -out.

So what do you know that I don't? Put me hand up in class and they call me

Supergrass. Snitcher. You go off and steal a pair of ladies' nickels.

That makes it all right, does it?

Makes you feel better?

I never drank so much tea in all my life.

Oh, it's my fault for keeping you waiting.

Where did your mother go?

To fetch Dad.

All hands to the pump.

Why do they split up, do you know?

You've met her.

What's your father like?

Bit of a shambles, really.

Lovable, but... So, what's all this about?

How do you mean?

Well, I'd like to get you out of here, you and your mother together, back to

Isha. But before I do that, I have to make sure you're not exposed to what the

courts call moral danger.

That's not very helpful.

Well, what do you expect me to say?

I want you to tell me why you did it.

Did what?

Come on.

I'm very busy. I've had a long day. I've no time to play games.

Come on, you've made your stand, you've flown your distress signals. Now, what's

it all about?

Well, if you don't tell me, it's all been a waste of time, isn't it?

I want her to get off my back.

Well, then ask her.

You don't ask people like my mother. Then tell her.

What are the specific problems? Oh, where do you begin?

Listen.

Work. Must work harder.

Do well.

Exams. Success.

Get qualified.

Be independent.

Don't let any man put a ring through your nose. A ring anywhere, for that

matter. What's the point in marrying? Just not to be lonely.

Et cetera, et cetera.

Is your mother qualified?

To give advice?

No, exam, things like that.

Dernal degree, London University.

When?

A couple of years ago, just after the split up.

Can't have been easy for her.

Wasn't.

Half single -minded.

I'm not made like that.

So who did you throw yourself at?

Some chap at home.

Gone to them, are you?

Not really.

Chinless wonder.

I practically raped him.

And there were no Cypriots.

And you knew Sergeant Fenton was a cop.

Oh, no, love, they went out with Dick Barton.

No, gut reaction.

I followed him from another piece of... Right.

Oh, young Linda, I think you've been damn lucky.

You could have landed yourself in something really ugly.

Now, I don't mean that.

It's true.

Who's the boy?

You might know.

I have an idea.

Shrewd idea.

This isn't the end of it, you know.

What does that mean?

I'm a very Old Testament person.

Somebody takes one of my eyes, I want one back.

I want him prosecuted.

You do?

Oh, yes, he's not getting away with it.

Despite the fact that Linda said she practically had to force him? Words,

words. You don't believe that, do you? Why not?

Well, she's sheltering him, protecting him.

You'd risk taking this to court?

You bet I will.

You'd put Linda through an ordeal like that?

It's a stand -up -in -court, a public cross -examination about her most

moments and thoughts. Mrs Scott, I don't recommend it. You know...

I'm getting awfully tired of being offered advice.

Must come with a uniform.

This preachiness.

Sanctimoniousness.

Yes, you're right. It is only advice. The facts would be better to see your

officer in your area.

Private somehow.

Nothing to stop me, is there?

Nothing whatsoever.

Except your own good sense.

What Linda needs now is help.

Understanding. Love.

I know she can get it.

We're here now because she wasn't getting it. Or it wasn't working. There

be a repeat performance.

Don't worry. 200 girls a month go missing in London. Now, they're not all

flagged and tarred. There'll be straight talk.

Plenty of it. Yes, well, if I were you, I'd forget all about it. Gloff it over.

Forget it? Yes.

Just be glad we got her back safe and sound. God knows where she could have

ended up. You won't mind if I use my method?

Mrs Scott, may I remind you that we're here today because of your methods.

Are you threatening me, Inspector?

Not at all.

I just need convincing, that's all.

Tell me, what happens if I can't convince you?

Then I'll contact our social services department. What would that mean?

Temporary care order, eight -day assessment, something like that. What

crappy things? There are some people who might think your home sounds crappy.

Look, I think we should all be careful that we don't take our hang -ups, our

grievances out on our children.

Oh, you speak from experience.

Unfortunately, yes.

Okay, so do as I say, not as I do.

Still bitterness between you and your ex?

Bitterness? No, not really.

What went wrong?

Oh, I got tired.

Tired of pretending, carrying the dream, playing sheet anchor.

Funny, I never wanted to be a rocker, Gibraltar.

Rebuilding my man's ego.

Got too much for me.

I'm not sure George Wimpy could do the job.

What now?

We can go.

Just like that? Just like nothing. I've eaten so much humble pie, I'm choking.

Come on.

Nothing's changed, you know.

We'll finish it quietly at home.

Right?

Well, do we say goodbye?

Well, thank you for having me.

But what about Inspector Paul?

Nothing else came up. We're only the light relief, something to practice on.

I thought she cared.

Eight times a day, seven days a week.

She's forgotten your name already.

Maggie?

What? What are you doing?

I just came back to tie this Ricky Turquoise thing up. You shouldn't be

Well, I came back to wrap this case up. Home. That's where you should be,

wrapping up Martha's deeds. I'll be there soon enough.

Never mind about it. Soon enough. Now, on your bike. Is there an order?

You'd better believe it. Where did you leave it?

Oh, my dad's with him. See you tomorrow.

Can we use your phone?

Oh, sir. Night.

Night.

Steve?

Where's Grandad?

He's gone down to the shops.

Buy some spuds.

Oh, Steve, couldn't you have gone? He went via the George.

Oh, I see.

Well, look, I'm just leaving. I should be home in about half an hour.

Is that good?

Look, lay the table, I'll cook us some supper and we'll talk it all through,

Cheer up.

It's like the end of the world.

Mum, I'm sorry.

I know you are, love.

Look, tell Dad if he wants to go back for his dance. It's OK, all right?

All right.

I'll see you in half an hour.

Hello?

No Detective Inspector Forth here, sir.

No, but I know we've got three men seconded to a crime squad.

Oh, yes, it's the oboe post on top of the Savoy Hotel.

Me?

Well, yes, I suppose I could.

No, no, I've got a heavy coat here somewhere.

Hold on, I'll get a pen. I'll get the address down.

OK, fire away.