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This is insane.
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I've never seen this much traffic.
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This new parking garage is a nightmare.
4
00:00:12,231 --> 00:00:15,769
How could our store put an employee
crosswalk right next to the three -way
5
00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:16,970
-ramp? It's a death trap.
6
00:00:17,290 --> 00:00:18,950
It's getting worse and worse.
7
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Is that a new cross planted over there
in the median?
8
00:00:23,270 --> 00:00:26,270
No, it's just what's left of the
pedestrian crossing sign.
9
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So who feels lucky today?
10
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I didn't like breakfast.
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I'll go.
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Be careful.
13
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,020
Who's driving that thing? Evelyn Wood?
14
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All right.
15
00:00:47,620 --> 00:00:48,670
I'll take point.
16
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,810
Hey!
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My yoga master said, face your fear.
18
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There are no cars here.
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There are just many opportunities for
one object to pass safely through many
20
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other objects.
21
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,640
I am the wind.
22
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,319
I am brother to the puma.
23
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:10,059
My friend Mr. Jackson says Chuck's going
to be eating bugs off a grill before he
24
00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:11,110
hits a double line.
25
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:15,700
Don't listen to her, Chuck.
26
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You can do it.
27
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:18,740
I'm in complete control.
28
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I'm walking through an open prairie.
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Go! Go!
30
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,960
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
31
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
32
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
33
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Go! Go! Go!
34
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Go! Go! Go! Go!
35
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go!
36
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
37
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
38
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Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
39
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Go!
40
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Go! Go!
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Go!
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00:01:42,660 --> 00:01:43,710
Go!
43
00:01:43,711 --> 00:01:46,729
Well, Larry gets hit. Do you think he'll
be half dead or half alive?
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00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:49,569
I don't want to scare you, Larry. You'll
make it because you're a good person
45
00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:51,430
and good things happen to good people.
46
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:54,540
I'm going to cross this and get away
from you.
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00:02:08,641 --> 00:02:15,149
At least wait a few minutes till rush
hour's over. You're wearing a teddy bear
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00:02:15,150 --> 00:02:18,509
backpack. Everyone's going to want to
hit you. No can do. I open the daycare
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00:02:18,510 --> 00:02:22,169
center promptly at 9. The children are
waiting for me. And don't worry, my
50
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:23,430
will be my crossing guard.
51
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,660
Have a nice day.
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00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:28,120
Well, she's a nice person. Maybe with a
little luck.
53
00:03:13,691 --> 00:03:17,639
to Faith in the hospital. You haven't
signed it.
54
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,360
I started to sign it, then my pen ran
out of interest.
55
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,180
Hey, Mimi, checking your morning traps?
56
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,770
Stay!
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00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:35,740
You're going to bite me, jackass!
58
00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:40,739
Hey, I didn't pick you to replace Faith
in the daycare center. The kids did.
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00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:42,760
They all said, we want Bozo.
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00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:47,190
replaced me pretty quick.
61
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,530
Thank you, Scary Poppins.
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00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:54,590
Hey, kids, remember that cute little pig
babe?
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Yeah.
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00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,950
He ate him.
65
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:03,960
Richardson,
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00:04:08,310 --> 00:04:09,360
I need you.
67
00:04:09,361 --> 00:04:14,269
Richardson, this is a strange request,
but would you mind blowing up a balloon
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00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:15,320
for me?
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00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,820
I'm celebrating something.
70
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:25,179
I wouldn't send you out there empty
-handed. Here's my letter of
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00:04:25,180 --> 00:04:26,230
recommendation.
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00:04:29,260 --> 00:04:30,500
Sir, did you get my memo?
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00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:36,599
Yes, I did. It's an important matter. It
requires action. Your participation is
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00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,860
appreciated. You have no idea what I'm
talking about. Not a clue.
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00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:44,950
Sir, this isn't like my memo requesting
a moment of silent prayer before lunch.
76
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,420
You just wanted a head start.
77
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,820
Okay, but this is serious. Look.
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00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:52,579
I called a meeting with all the
employees, and they elected me to solve
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00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:53,630
crosswalk problem.
80
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:58,259
Lives are at stake, and we're not
backing down until Woodford Louder
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00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:00,730
skywalk from the parking garage to the
building.
82
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,340
Hmm, no.
83
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,560
Well, will you at least think about it?
84
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:06,710
Hmm.
85
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,610
Mr. Wick, I hired these people as
workers. That's speed bumps.
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00:05:18,611 --> 00:05:22,939
Just a cost -effective carrier. Believe
me, I don't like to put a price on human
87
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,080
life. But confidentially, we did.
88
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:28,140
It's about $75 per person. $80 for
management.
89
00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:30,260
See you later, $80.
90
00:05:30,261 --> 00:05:34,819
We're not going to be pushed around, you
know. This isn't the last you heard
91
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:35,870
about this.
92
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:38,420
Guess I told his back.
93
00:05:45,151 --> 00:05:52,539
probing a bit bigger, that might have
worked. But right now, you're ducking.
94
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:53,920
that's just not groovy, man.
95
00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:55,310
Not groovy at all.
96
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:05,010
Hey, Drew, look. They're handing out
free samples in the children's
97
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:09,479
Actually, they're runaways from the
daycare center. We found them jumping on
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00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,580
mattresses. They told us to get down.
99
00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,440
Don't worry, little buddy.
100
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,580
I'll get you back to the daycare center.
101
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:27,380
second. Are you actually playing with
them? Yeah, but I'm not enjoying it.
102
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,110
Look,
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00:06:30,111 --> 00:06:34,019
Mimi, you can't have these kids running
wild all over the store.
104
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:36,440
I put anti -theft tags on all of them,
see?
105
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:43,379
Nobody's getting out of the store
without setting off an alarm unless
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says what? What?
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Our daycare was a junkyard and we felt
lucky to have it.
108
00:07:16,231 --> 00:07:19,319
Yeah, what can you learn from a daycare
teacher that you can't learn from an
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00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,159
eight -fingered hobo?
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00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,360
Well, count to ten.
111
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,620
I still love old Willie anyway.
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00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:26,950
High four me.
113
00:07:26,951 --> 00:07:33,959
Gary, I got your bids for the Skywalk. I
think there's one that might actually
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fly. Wow, really, sir?
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00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,590
No, it's not.
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00:07:38,140 --> 00:07:42,230
How can you ignore these bids? It's the
cheapest construction companies in town.
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00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,359
for food company two guys with a hammer
and building code building schmode
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incorporated i told you before it's not
in the budget all right i didn't want to
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do this but now i have no choice
attention all employees operation slow
120
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,640
down is now in effect
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00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,240
Harder than I thought.
122
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:23,440
Call it off, Carey, or I'll fire one
employee every minute.
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You're bluffing.
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Try...
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00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:52,609
Let's cross it once. We can cross it
again.
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00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:53,660
You ready?
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00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:54,960
Okay.
128
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,790
Hey, hey, watch it! Oh, that's nice,
Grandma.
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00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:02,380
Use that finger to die to your grandkids
with.
130
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,630
That's just how you hesitate, huh?
131
00:09:04,650 --> 00:09:07,180
Yes, it's all in the look. You can't
look uncertain.
132
00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:11,090
Okay, so she goes, oh, I'm so uncertain.
Kill me if you must.
133
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,370
Have you ever seen one lying dead in the
street?
134
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,060
That's because they have the look.
135
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:25,370
Tough confidence.
136
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:31,610
Hey, where's that confident look? On
that sucker's face!
137
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:40,720
A couple of morons dodging traffic in
Death Valley.
138
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:49,350
9 -1 -1.
139
00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:51,419
I'm going to go reposition them. I don't
want people to think they were doing
140
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:52,500
that when they got hit.
141
00:10:18,730 --> 00:10:20,410
time ever. I understand Kathy.
142
00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:25,690
You think you guys need more
painkillers?
143
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,810
I don't know. Let me check.
144
00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:33,580
Not yet.
145
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:42,109
Hey, what happened to our cheery little
optimist? Screw the optimist. They can
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00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:43,810
kiss my road -rashed ass.
147
00:10:46,931 --> 00:10:48,899
to your room?
148
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:52,979
Thanks. We can go back and listen to my
roommate work on that ball of flamin'
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00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:54,360
earth road for another hour.
150
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,640
So, is this the room that needs some
cheering up?
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00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,739
I'm Archibald Fenn. This is my partner
Geller. We are attorneys at Winfred
152
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:13,639
Lauder. We're just here to settle that
whole thing so you don't drag our butts
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00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,690
into court.
154
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:33,530
If you want a big, fat settlement check,
all you gotta do is sign right there.
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00:11:36,050 --> 00:11:37,270
What's wrong with him?
156
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,690
Oh, he stopped his heart again.
157
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:42,350
Always the show -off. Look at me!
158
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I'm dead!
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00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:44,960
Clear?
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00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:51,130
Okay, Gellan, now make yourself useful
and go find me a pair.
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00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:52,880
Hey, guys.
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00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,630
What are you doing here?
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00:11:54,631 --> 00:12:00,639
sign anything from them. I should have
known when Fred Lowdard sent in their
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00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:05,460
weasels. Oh, stereotypes are so hurtful.
165
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,330
Attorney's bad.
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00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:09,190
Attorney's evil.
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00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:14,359
If stereotypes were true, Mr. Carey, I'd
probably have to figure you'd be quite
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00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,410
jolly.
169
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,680
I refer you to the case of rubber versus
glue.
170
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:30,679
here that you waive your right to sue
winford louder and in exchange you get
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00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:36,499
off everything you buy on labor day it's
not our fault they were hit in the
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00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:41,099
street get out of here and tell mr wick
he's not through with drew carey what's
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00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:45,279
one little man gonna do to bring a big
company like winfred louder to its knees
174
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,619
well i was thinking about that on the
way over here and i'm gonna do the one
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00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:52,980
thing that no one would ever expect i'm
going on a hunger strike
176
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,800
I just had the weirdest dream.
177
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,720
You were going on a hunger strike.
178
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,760
I am going on a hunger strike.
179
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,200
Hey, Drew.
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00:13:18,820 --> 00:13:20,480
I just had the weirdest dream.
181
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:23,660
You were going on a hunger strike.
182
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,020
I am going on a hunger strike.
183
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,820
Hey, Drew.
184
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:56,750
after this really helped me with my
hunger strike.
185
00:13:56,751 --> 00:13:59,679
Second, we found somebody else to run
the daycare center so you can go back to
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00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:00,730
your regular job.
187
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,410
What?
188
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:07,860
Come on, come on, come on.
189
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,640
Don't get all mushy on me.
190
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,360
Warriors don't cry.
191
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,620
I showed you guys platoon.
192
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:21,879
All right, well, girls, remember, you're
never too young for a healthy coat of
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00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:22,930
mess.
194
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:49,610
This is what a hunger strike looks like.
195
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:54,630
Laugh if you want to, sir, but my bodily
reserves are quickly being depleted.
196
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,670
Actual weight loss is right around the
corner.
197
00:15:00,690 --> 00:15:03,870
Yes, but on the way to that corner is a
Taco Bell.
198
00:15:05,381 --> 00:15:07,289
Oh, yeah?
199
00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,340
Feel this, buddy.
200
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:09,429
That's a rib.
201
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,480
I haven't felt one of those since I was
12.
202
00:15:11,481 --> 00:15:15,389
You let this hunger strike continue much
longer, and this story's going to be
203
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:16,440
all over the news.
204
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:17,520
Oh, really?
205
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,770
What's this?
206
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,280
Oh, it's a chocolate bar.
207
00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,040
Oh, damn, it's all melty.
208
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,840
Melty chocolate's always so messy.
209
00:15:32,020 --> 00:15:33,070
Hmm.
210
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,410
Messy.
211
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:37,650
Melty.
212
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,390
Messy.
213
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:46,510
Melty.
214
00:15:50,060 --> 00:15:52,680
little piggy is messiest of all.
215
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,250
Oops, Gary.
216
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:59,240
Look. I think I got a bit of rich, thick
chocolate.
217
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,780
On the end of your nose.
218
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:05,450
I can realize this, sir, but your arm is
in danger right up to your elbow.
219
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,190
I'm not giving in.
220
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,320
Now, what am I worried about?
221
00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,799
You'll never lose enough weight to evoke
sympathy.
222
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,860
Hey, Gandhi did it.
223
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,190
Yes, but what you're forgetting is
Gandhi started out thin.
224
00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:20,950
Boys are behind me.
225
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:25,900
What the hell's going on here, Terry?
You gaining weight?
226
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:28,880
I'm not eating. I don't know what's
going on.
227
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:31,150
Hey, maybe I really am big -boned.
228
00:16:31,151 --> 00:16:37,149
Look, Drew, we all appreciate what
you're trying to do here, but I can't
229
00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:39,500
for you to lose weight. I'm retiring in
20 years.
230
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:43,009
What do you want me to do, call the
reporters looking like this?
231
00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:46,269
I'll be one of those stupid human
interest stories. On the lighter side,
232
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,950
man thinks he's on a hunger strike.
233
00:16:47,951 --> 00:16:52,209
You know that people are starting to
lose confidence in you, Drew. And
234
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,229
talking walkout.
235
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:54,280
Yep, that's right.
236
00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,830
Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm ashamed of you
people.
237
00:16:57,150 --> 00:17:01,050
This man has given up the thing he loves
most in the world for you.
238
00:17:01,051 --> 00:17:04,049
Are you sure you're not eating in your
sleep?
239
00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,100
Fuck it, Joe.
240
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:07,810
Listen up, everybody.
241
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,450
You can't walk out. People will lose
jobs.
242
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:14,989
One more week. I will be that emaciated,
pathetic skeleton that's going to shame
243
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,229
Winter Lauder into building that
skywalk. Yeah.
244
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,848
starts to come off, the weight's going
to melt off me like butter. And believe
245
00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:21,030
me, most of it is butter.
246
00:17:26,601 --> 00:17:28,609
How's Drew?
247
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:31,089
Well, he's about as comfortable as can
be expected.
248
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,510
I just put a blanket over him.
249
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:36,500
Man, I can't believe they took your cast
off after only two weeks.
250
00:17:36,870 --> 00:17:38,370
Actually, I took it off myself.
251
00:17:38,371 --> 00:17:43,829
The itching was driving me crazy, so
last night about three o 'clock, I just
252
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,720
took a butcher knife and just hacked the
whole damn thing.
253
00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,319
your good idea?
254
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,500
It was the first 20 minutes of
scratching.
255
00:17:52,980 --> 00:17:54,840
Now I'm not so sure it's healing right.
256
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,430
I'll get it.
257
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:00,030
Hey,
258
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,590
it's getting better.
259
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,410
We're here.
260
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,830
Where's Kennedy? He hasn't eaten a thing
in over two weeks.
261
00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:22,050
Oh, yeah, so's the sun, but I bet it
gets there first.
262
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:28,790
As you go to your final reward, embrace
the light.
263
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,360
Embrace it, I say.
264
00:18:32,210 --> 00:18:33,810
Drew. Drew.
265
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,790
Yeah? Visitors. Oh, Mr.
266
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,060
Wick.
267
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,270
Oh, my lord, where's your fat?
268
00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:42,960
It's a trick.
269
00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:45,170
Let's see who's under here. I'm naked.
270
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:51,479
Oswald, my feet are kind of cold. Can
you put on my slippers, please?
271
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,820
Oh, sure, buddy, sure.
272
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,880
Hold on just a second.
273
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:59,280
Good God, you've got little girl legs!
274
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,770
That's right.
275
00:19:01,771 --> 00:19:04,719
Pretty soon everyone in Cleveland will
see these little girl legs, because I'm
276
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,160
going straight to the papers.
277
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:07,360
You know, it's ironic.
278
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,019
I'm skinnier than I've ever been in my
life, and it's too cold to have a pool
279
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,070
party.
280
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:14,890
Wait a minute.
281
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,200
How come your head's still so fat?
282
00:19:26,371 --> 00:19:33,019
Something fishy going on. What do you
make of it? It's got to be a trick.
283
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:36,390
It could be somebody else under there.
All right, I'm going to check.
284
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,500
Oh, I'm sorry, Drew.
285
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:41,980
Oh, I'm sorry, eyes.
286
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,310
I'm sorry.
287
00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:50,340
All right, all right. I didn't think
you'd take it this far. I'm not a beast.
288
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,450
I have feelings. You'll get your
skywalk.
289
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,530
Hey!
290
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:58,079
I have to get out of here. Your skinny
body and big fat head are making me feel
291
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:58,819
all creepy.
292
00:19:58,820 --> 00:19:59,870
Hey!
293
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,540
say this, but I want to thank you, Mimi.
294
00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:08,300
Bob here wants to thank you.
295
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:09,790
Hey,
296
00:20:12,540 --> 00:20:15,200
how'd you get that guy to do this
anyway?
297
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:19,259
Not going to risk losing our best
customer. Drew's put six of us through
298
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,310
community college.
299
00:20:42,860 --> 00:20:47,499
Going down, down, down, working in a
coal mine. I'm about to slip down,
300
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:48,580
in a coal mine.
301
00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:53,180
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