All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s02e14 Drewstock.eng

We just wanted you to look over the
lease for a new apartment, Drew, because

you're the stickler for detail in this
crowd.

Well, here's the first irregularity.
It's written on a cocktail napkin.

Hey, it's the apartment above the
Warsaw. It's a bar. It's all you have to

on. Yeah, and it's ours as soon as we
fill out our credit report.

Are you guys sure you want to live above
a bar?

I'm just kidding. Come on.

Sorry,

guys. The wedding went kind of long.

Wow, that bridesmaid thing looks like a
great deal.

Not only do you get to go to a party,
but you get a dress you can wear again

the Grand Ole Opry.

Thanks. I hate weddings. She had five
bridesmaids. So?

So it made me realize I don't even have
five female friends.

I can only think of one, and when she
finds out what I did with her boyfriend,

won't have any.

Why do you need girlfriends when you
have us?

It's not the same.

Watch.

Oswald, close your eyes.

What am I wearing?

You're naked.

That's it.

I've got to get some girlfriends.

But where do women hang out?

What do they think?

What do they do?

I don't know if this helps, but they
hang out in groups.

They think of me as just a friend.

And they're really sorry, but they're
usually busy on Friday and Saturday

Okay. This meeting of the owners of Buzz
Beer is now in session.

I called you here to discuss corporate
finances.

Now, the good news is, after a year of
hard work, sweat, and determination,

we've made enough profits to be in the
black. Cool, I'll drink to that.

Oops, now we're in the red again.

Well, let's just charge more. How much
do we need to charge for each bottle to

make it profitable?

Uh, $29 .95.

Hey, yeah, and I've got the campaign.

Buzz Beer.

The penis -enlarging, cancer -curing,
fat -reducing, guaranteed -to -get -you

-in -the -heaven beer, huh?

Still, $30.

Wait a minute.

We've still got about 300 gallons left
in old Bessie here.

If we're going to go out of business, we
should go out with a bang.

I say we throw a party, we invite a
bunch of our friends, and liquidate the

inventory. Free beer for everybody.

Wait.

I've got it. Don't give up yet. I've got
the one idea that will save our

business.

Let's put the beer in a bottle shaped
like a vase.

Then, when people are done drinking,
they can put flowers in it.

Come on, Lewis. You're supposed to meet
me at the Warsaw. You haven't even left

your apartment yet?

Well, hurry up.

Hey, bud. Sorry we're late.

Man, living above the Warsaw's a blast.

You can go out, get drunk, and be home
spinning in bed in 30 seconds.

Good times. Good times.

So, you guys will be coming out of the
Warsaw in your pajamas from now on?

in the winter. Summer's wide open.

Hey, uh...

And you look selling that brewery
equipment, and you know if I default on

loan, I'm going to lose my house.

Don't worry, we'll find a buyer. Our ad
came out today on the Dollar Stretcher,

and with a couple of clever
abbreviations, I managed to save us a

First sold.

Oozed beer quip.

Real check.

What the hell is that?

Well, you pay by the letter.

No, I think what Drew's trying to say,
buddy, is, ah, you ooped -inking oron.

Guys, I'd like you to meet my new
friend, Jewel.

Jewel, this is Drew.

Hey. And I guess this must be Hef and
the beef.

Hey, guys.

Hey, I know you.

You're the assistant manager of payroll
down at the store. Yeah, for seven

years. I must have a sign on my back
that says, do not promote.

That's the bar of mine.

You know, there's something about you
that's so familiar, but I can't put my

finger on it. Could you take off your
glasses?

No.

There it is again.

Check out the glasses.

Hello, Internet.

You care to join us? No, thanks. We're
waiting for my two best friends.

Oh, here they are now.

Lois, Olivia.

You are looking at two smart chicks.

I just cheated the pay -to -let out of
25 cents.

Not as dumb as they look.

Are you guys ready to go?

I've planned a full girls' night out.
We're going to coordinate some outfits,

trash my mom, talk about my boyfriends,
and, you know, other stuff women do.

Right, ladies?

Yeah, good times.

You know, I don't say this very often,
but...

Hey,

Drew, there's a cute little redhead at
the bar who's looking at you.

Yeah, and she's thinking...

Look at that nice man. Should he buy
alcohol for his two special friends?

No, she's coming right towards you, man.
Yeah, miracles happen every day.

Excuse me.

Could I borrow your ketchup for a
second?

Uh, sure.

Hey, double chili cheeseburger. That's
my favorite.

I usually get double onions on mine.

Isn't that cute?

Hello.

Hello.

Hey, uh, I haven't seen you around here
before.

That's because I'm from Akron. I'm here
on business till Sunday.

Oh, really? Well, what do you do?

I have a chain of my own small bakeries.

Ho, ho, ho.

Hi, I'm Drew. The Vienna Boys Choir's
Oswald and Lewis.

Nice to meet you.

Shoot, I gotta go.

Uh, is there a muffin in trouble?
Because I don't hand them out.

Maybe.

Thanks for catching.

Sure. Oh, hey, listen.

If you're in Tomball Sunday and you're
not having a big party Saturday night,

maybe you want to stop by.

Sounds fun.

Oh, by the way, did anybody catch the
score at tonight's Bulls Cavs game?

it was 120 -115 Cavs. You a Cavs fan?

Isn't everyone?

See ya.

Ah, man.

She is perfect, man. She's everything I
wanted. She's... Who the hell is she? I

don't even know her name. I forgot to
get her name.

Don't worry, Drew. She works at a bakery
in North America. You're bound to find

her eventually.

Hey, Mimi.

Copier's out of toner again.

How many times do I have to tell you?
Your ass is a two -machine job.

I was just thinking... and more copies
for a big party I'm having on Saturday.

Oh, I shouldn't mention anything because
I have no intention of inviting you.

How uncomfortable I am now.

Ripping off the company, huh?

Figures. I was talking on the phone to
my aunt in Australia telling her what a

pig you are.

Oh, crap. I left her on hold.

Ah, it's okay. I got her conferenced in
with my uncle in Guam.

Why do your relatives live so far away?

Oh, yeah.

Help us say goodbye to buzz beer this
Saturday night. All the buzz beer you

drink, free, free, free.

Gee, going out of business, huh?

Well, I can't imagine where all the
profits went.

Nice one, Mimi. By the way, did I
mention how beautiful your hair is

What's wrong with it? Is it messed up?

Not today.

Mr. Wick's finally taking me out to
lunch.

And who's paying?

Safe person who rented the hotel room.

Lucky bastard thinks he's only getting a
lunch.

Kind of late to be decorating for the
holidays, isn't it?

eat under here.

Oh, dear.

You've been after me for so long to do
this.

I can't tell you how disappointed I am.

Perhaps we can try again in another six
months.

Keep your chin up.

Just an expression.

You crossed the line this time, pig.

Come on, Mimi. Good friends, good fun.
Hey, good luck getting that crap out of

your hair.

This is the approved artwork for the big
white sale ad. It's going into every

edition of Saturday's newspaper, so
don't scratch the originals. I'll get it

the printer immediately, sir.

Good.

By the way, Kerry left one of his party
flyers in the copier. Slap his hand and

charge him ten cents, would you?

Are you sure that's enough?

On his salary? Probably drop him into a
different tax bracket.

So, anything that goes into this
envelope is going to be read by half the

Yes.

to it.

Oh, so Mimi, have you decided which side
is tingling?

Thank you for delivering the enemy into
my hands.

Oh, what am I saying?

Thanks. Oh, you won.

I think one sub

sandwich should have been enough. I
ordered a second one just in case.

Oh, my three new girlfriends won't be
coming. They made other plans.

Oh, yeah? Star Trek convention or
Singles Night at Camp USA?

No, they canceled Singles Night. Only
desperate men were showing up.

So I hear.

Drew, what the hell is happening in your
neighborhood? I don't know if I'm being

paranoid, but there are like a thousand
cars following me.

You want to hear something weird? I
picked up a paper at the Warsaw.

I looked at the Winford Louder insert in
this call -out.

It's your party flyer. What? I can't
hear you. It's your party flyer. It was

the Winford Louder insert.

I thought I just had momentary fly
vision.

And they just keep coming. We can't get
out the free beer fast enough.

There's a bus outside full of National
Guard guys, Drew.

Oh, good. Finally somebody will bring
some order to this thing. No, they came

party. They want to know if your roof
will support a chopper.

Okay, that's it. I may be losing my
business. I'm not going to lose my

Okay, listen up, everybody.

There's been a big mistake.

section.

I'm going to need it later on.

Drew, the phone book is long gone, but I
managed to save your baseball cards.

This is totally out of control. It's
like the whole city of Cleveland is

Oh, hey.

Hey, buddy. Hey, no calls, all right? No
phone calls, huh?

No calls, man. I'm sorry. I have to make
a very important long -distance call.

Oh, my God. You're the mayor.

Mayor White. I can't believe the mayor's
a...

It is my phone. No long -distance calls.

I think I found the place to put the
rubble from the old stadium.

Hey, Kate, have you seen a little red
-headed girl about this tall? I don't

her name, and she's leaving for Akron
tomorrow.

I'll keep an eye out for her. I've got
to get some air.

Don't you gross enough to part this
crowd.

You guys?

What are you doing here? I thought you
were all busy doing different things.

You guys are ditching me? Look, Kate,
the truth is, we don't always want to

about shopping or clothes or boys. We
have other interests.

Frankly, you're too girly.

Who are you calling a girl?

That's the other thing, Kate.

Your anger.

It scares us.

Take off your glasses. I'll show you
anger.

Lois, Olivia.

Hey. Hey, you.

No touching.

Hey, you. You watch her with those
hands.

Hey, you good looking.

No one told you to stop.

This is insane. There's no way we can
keep up with the man. My back is killing

me.

Lay down on the conveyor belt. What?
Just do it. All right.

Oh.

Great. When did you discover this?

A guy tried it on a conveyor belt at
Drug Co.

Unfortunately, he fell asleep, and when
he woke up, he had 400 pills and a pound

of cotton shoved up his butt.

Hey, I got a drunken mob out there
screaming for more beer. I'm hauling out

trash out back as fast as I can, and
what are you two doing?

Get off of there.

Somebody roll me.

Oh, my God, this is... Oh, yeah.

That's right. Oh, roll me, baby, all
night long.

Just one more time, Mayor White.

Go long.

Oh, my God. It's Bernie Kosar.

I'm sorry. I thought this was the men's
room.

Wow. Bernie Kosar. Go wherever you want,
man.

Yeah, unless you have to take a Modell.

Hey, you're the guy with the crew
cutting the glasses.

There's this cute redhead outside
looking for you.

She said if she missed you, say thanks.
This is the best party of her life.

Cute redheaded girl? Good grief.

We were looking for you guys. We saw you
earlier. We were going to ask if you

wanted to go somewhere after the party.

You know, Olivia, I'm really attracted
to you. You remind me of someone I know,

but I just can't figure out who it is.

I know, Louis. I feel the same way.

Me too, Louis.

I mean, Lois. Lois.

Okay.

You owe the company $300 for the ad
space you used up.

But I left a bit of a trade spot in your
loo, so we'll call it even.

Hey, baker lady.

Hey, hey, wait up.

Sorry.

VIPs only.

It's my house. It's my bedroom.

Tonight, it's Little Richard's bedroom.

Little Richard?

Good golly, Miss Molly, Little Richard
is here?

Yes, and Mr. Joe Walsh. And they have a
list.

And you aren't on it.

Oh, oh, I get it. You're only letting
the beautiful people upstairs.

Now I'm confused again.

Great party, Drew.

Boy, Lou Richard and Joe Walsh, never
gonna see a chess game like that again.

You know, you did a lot of crappy things
to me, Mimi.

But, uh, making me the most popular man
in Cleveland, I don't know if I'm ever

gonna get over this.

Still the bestest Stratego, man.

Wow, Joe Walsh and Little Richard, what
are you guys doing at my house? We were

over at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,
saw your ad in the paper, and I said,

man, I hope they got giant subs.

Look, everybody, it's Little Richard and
Joe Walsh!

You mind if we dance?

Ooh, can I play my accordion?

No! Shut up!

Okay, uh, anybody got a guitar?

Listen up, everybody.

There's this cat, and I don't even
really know his name, but Lewis just

that his old lady just had a baby.

Yeah.

Yeah. And that made me think, wow, it
really is a city here, man.

So this is for you and your old lady,
man, and woo, that kid is going to be

out.

Also, I just received a warning that the
blue nachos circulating around are not

specifically too good, so it's suggested
that you stay away from that. Of

course, it's your own trip.

Hey, everyone, I just heard on the radio
Drew's house is now the 10th largest

city in Ohio.

What a way to go out of business. My
head's still spinning.

Well, two hours of plunging toilets will
do that.

Hello?

No, sorry.

We're all out of buzzed beer.

I'm sorry. I don't know where you can
get any. Sorry. Bye.

That's like the tenth call this morning.

Wait a second.

Are we stupid?

All these people calling, bugging us for
buzzed beer?

Yeah, we should unplug the phone.

Wait a second.

We can't go out of business. Last night
we turned half a Cleveland on a buzz

beer. Yeah, it's not like the other half
drinks wine.

Buzz beer's back in business.

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