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All language subtitles for The Drew Carey Show s02e01 Well Remember Always, Evaluation Day

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:23,679 --> 00:01:26,820 In the shelter. 2 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:44,539 Good morning, pig. 3 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,439 Morning, Mamie. 4 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,460 Did you do something to your hair? My hair is exactly the same. 5 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,460 Oh, well, I guess the snake's changed colors. 6 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,680 What was that for? 7 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,480 That was for snitching that I was late yesterday. 8 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,880 Okay, fair enough. 9 00:03:09,460 --> 00:03:12,720 Could you do me a favor and give me last year's evaluations from the file 10 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,840 cabinet? I'm not that stupid. You think I don't know that this thing's been 11 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,840 booby -trapped? 12 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,460 Because now I get to be barefoot all day long. 13 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,900 You need some new shoes? I'll make you some. 14 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,800 Now, where did I put my anvil? 15 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,480 Here's your stupid file. You could have just printed out your own copy. I 16 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,680 already entered it in the computer. 17 00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,540 What? You've been messing with my computer? What did you do, plant a 18 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,780 No, I helped you open your own pig site. www .big .pig 19 00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:02,740 I'm warning you. If you've been screwing with this... 20 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,260 pity games I have work to do. 21 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,360 Oh, man. 22 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,400 Now we'll know if you touch all the donuts. 23 00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,100 What's so funny? 24 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:32,880 Nothing. I'm just smiling along with you. 25 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,600 Oh, great. Now I need a wet nap. 26 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,620 Well, I always keep a box on hand just in case my prayers are answered and it 27 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,060 starts raining baby back ribs. 28 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,580 You deserve what I put in your top left -hand drawer. 29 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,080 Oh, yeah? You open it. 30 00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,420 Wimp. 31 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,640 Ooh, a dirty magazine. 32 00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,080 Mimi, I'm so disappointed in you. 33 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:09,180 Crazy glue injected into your wet naps and a dirty magazine? 34 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,870 Love evaluation time. 35 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,670 Ass, prepare to be kissed. 36 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,430 Drew, I know everyone's going to be sucking up to you today, but I'm just 37 00:05:57,430 --> 00:06:00,470 to be brutally honest, and I know that you're going to give me a fair 38 00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:01,470 evaluation. 39 00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:04,770 First of all, you're losing way too much weight. 40 00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,370 You know, I'd be concerned about that too, Kate. 41 00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:14,490 And second of all, you should be careful how often you dull out that thousand 42 00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:15,490 -watt smile. 43 00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:23,740 With no disrespect to Denzel Washington, you are the sexiest man alive. 44 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760 True eyes being totally sincere. 45 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:30,420 Gotta go. 46 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,160 Looking hard, swine butt. 47 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,440 Hey, you can't touch those. They're confidential. 48 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,280 It's okay. 49 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,520 Don't worry, I'm not going to look at them except the puff piece you wrote on 50 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,240 your little pencil holder, Lisa. 51 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,380 Wait a minute, this is no balance. 52 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,660 Needs to show more maturity in the managerial area. 53 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,220 Occasionally lacks patience. 54 00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:54,860 Stupid and blind. 55 00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:56,420 I didn't write that. 56 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,060 She's dating you, isn't she? 57 00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:00,220 Hey, Drew. 58 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,580 Thanks, Mimi. I'll take those papers right to the recycling bin for you. 59 00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:07,200 you mean these evaluations? Oh, look, here's Lisa's. I wonder what it says. 60 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:11,300 Nice try, Mimi, but Lisa's much too secure in her job to want to see her 61 00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,620 evaluation. Isn't that right, Lisa? 62 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:13,960 Secure, yes. 63 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,180 Curious, yes. 64 00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,660 We sing I said yes last night, maybe. 65 00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,860 No job's worth that, honey. 66 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:28,400 You didn't write anything bad, did you, Jim? No, in fact, I remember a little 67 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,060 something about asset to the company. 68 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,500 I'll see you tonight for dinner. 69 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,380 Oh, wait, you know, I can't. I'm going clothes shopping with Kate. 70 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,240 Kate wants your advice on buying clothes? 71 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,600 No, I want hers. 72 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,120 We've been doing it every year since high school. She even taught me what 73 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,120 of the gap to shop on. 74 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,160 Actually, I just remembered. I'm going shopping with my friend Antonio tonight. 75 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,160 He wants me to help him pick out a cup. 76 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,400 So she's my best friend. 77 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:57,900 Yeah, and I'm your girlfriend. 78 00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,600 Well, why does this have to make you so crazy? 79 00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:00,860 Hey, don't call me crazy. 80 00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,620 Oh, honey. 81 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,920 We're both getting a little upset. I think it's time. 82 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,680 Okay. 83 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,520 What I like most about you is... 84 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,900 Your sense of humor and your sexy voice. 85 00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:28,760 And what I like most about you is you make me laugh and you cry at movies. 86 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,520 That'll do, pig. 87 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,380 That's all he said. 88 00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:37,400 That'll do, pig. 89 00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,440 And you knew. 90 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:54,340 time with Kate, but please remember, things go on clearance for a reason. 91 00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:56,540 Yeah. 92 00:08:56,780 --> 00:09:00,020 Like I'm going to buy yellow spandex pants again after all those papaya 93 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,360 Hey, Drew. 94 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,320 I found this basket on my desk and I'm allergic to muffins. 95 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,280 Oh, you mean just like you were last year on evaluation day? Oh, really? 96 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,440 Is today evaluation day? I didn't know. 97 00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,960 I don't know. Let me check. 98 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,260 Anyone have a pen I can borrow? 99 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,480 Yep, it's today. 100 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:30,320 Well, anyway, I figured, you know, you being the greatest guy in the world and 101 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,320 all... 102 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:55,920 Oh, sure. Blame the pants. 103 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,240 Come on. How bad could they look? 104 00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:02,360 Well, there was the famous MC Hammer pants incident. 105 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,400 And, of course, Drew was the last actual member of Members Only. Yes. 106 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,320 Okay, I'm coming down. 107 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:16,900 What's wrong? They look great. 108 00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:19,900 Yeah, but they wrinkle weird. 109 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,480 What do you mean, wrinkle weird? 110 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,380 I don't know. They kind of... 111 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,880 He needs more maturity in the managerial area to be a greater asset to the 112 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,420 company. Oh, well, big top's coming down. 113 00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,380 Hey, guys. Hey. 114 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,960 Drew, can I talk to you? 115 00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:05,360 Want to see what I can do with my new pants? 116 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,460 Drew, that evaluation you wrote questions my whole management technique. 117 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,120 I don't think so. 118 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,770 Because I'm your girlfriend, you're worried that people will think you're 119 00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:18,670 playing favorites, so you're tougher on me. 120 00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:20,510 Not exactly. 121 00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,150 Not exactly what? 122 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,190 Not exactly. I was being honest. 123 00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:25,870 Sit down, Drew. Show her the trick. 124 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:31,570 Look, I put some good things in there, too, but I have to be objective. You 125 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,570 know, I take my job seriously. 126 00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:35,570 Wow, you must really think I'm bad at my job. 127 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,770 And how can you call me immature? I wasn't the one in the bathtub yelling, 128 00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:41,970 look, it's a jacuzzi. 129 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,580 The thing I like most about you is... I can see what you like best about me. 130 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,300 You're not walking out on me. You're walking out on my pants. 131 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,140 That is just great. 132 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,840 That's just what Lisa and I need right now. 133 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,720 How'd she get hold of her evaluation anyway? 134 00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:10,480 There's only one person diabolical enough to have done this. 135 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,160 Me. 136 00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:18,900 Who do you think you'd be, Kate? 137 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,100 I'm going to get back at Mimi in a way she will never forget. 138 00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:29,320 She's going to rue the day she ever decided to mess with Drew Carey. 139 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,220 This is my independence day. 140 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,940 Hey, Drew. 141 00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:41,040 I got a big date tomorrow night. Think I can borrow your pants? 142 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,300 I gotta thank you, Chuck. 143 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,920 I could have never rigged up Mimi's desk like this all by myself. 144 00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:51,380 Be careful with that, Drew. 145 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:53,640 You wouldn't want those to detonate too soon. 146 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,280 I can't believe you got all these instructions right off the internet. 147 00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:01,020 That reminds me. I got to log on and tell Brittany what happened on 90210. 148 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,180 Sorry, Drew. 149 00:13:04,260 --> 00:13:07,720 Lisa wouldn't take any of her gifts. But she did say she'd come up and see you. 150 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,680 By the way, if you're apologizing to somebody, you might want to give them 151 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,740 something better than Chorklets. 152 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,040 What? 153 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,620 They're Belgian chocolates. 154 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,920 No, Beldan Chorklets. 155 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,650 Imitation chocolate substitute. 156 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:25,110 Man, I got them from the same guy who sold me my brand new Folex. Hey. 157 00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:27,550 Hello, Drew. 158 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,930 Did you want to talk about something work -related, or do you want to give me 159 00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,930 diamond nortless? 160 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,870 Okay. I thought about what you said, and you're right. 161 00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:44,650 Maybe I did overcompensate just a little. 162 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,520 I need revaluation because you're my girlfriend. 163 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,300 It's not just that. 164 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,000 It's your job. 165 00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:55,020 I have to know sometimes you'd put me first. 166 00:13:55,300 --> 00:14:00,500 It goes without saying I'd be there for you. Hey, let's take the rest of the day 167 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,500 off. We'll say we're sick. 168 00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:02,860 Today? 169 00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:05,340 I got some pranks I want to watch. 170 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,050 I'm getting back at Mimi for showing you your evaluation. 171 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:14,670 She didn't show me my evaluation. 172 00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:15,930 Yes, she did. 173 00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:16,950 No, she didn't. 174 00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:19,890 Don't tell me Mimi didn't show your evaluation. I've got trolls about to 175 00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:20,890 explode. 176 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:25,530 I walked into the sales manager's office, asked to see my evaluation, and 177 00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:26,530 showed it to me. 178 00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:32,430 Oh, my God. I've got to get busy. Honey, why don't you grab your coat and go 179 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,250 downstairs? I'll be just a second. Okay. I can't believe we're doing this. 180 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,360 What I like most about you is if anything explodes, at least I won't be 181 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,360 described as a loner. 182 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,880 Mimi, what happened to you? 183 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,940 None of your beeswax, pinhead. 184 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,980 I'm trying to show some concern. Obviously, you injured one of your hind 185 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,160 I hurt my leg running to get the phone. 186 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:59,340 It turns out my sister's been rushed into emergency surgery. 187 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,360 She's probably under the knife right now. 188 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,680 Oh. Don't go behind your desk. I mean, uh... 189 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,120 Maybe you should just take the day off. 190 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,940 I can't. I used up all my sick days following KISS on tour. 191 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,540 Well, uh, at least let me get you a more comfortable chair. 192 00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:16,940 Hey, you ready, Jim? 193 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:18,580 Almost. Okay, I'll wait. 194 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,040 No, that's not necessary. 195 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,640 Look, uh, it'll only be a second. Why don't you just go wait down in the car? 196 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,840 Oh, by the way, I parked in the sun, so you might want to put a towel down in 197 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,840 the car before you sit down. 198 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,200 You are so thoughtful. 199 00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:45,410 It's for you. Of course it's for me. It's my phone. Keep your hands off my 200 00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:48,070 Oh, hi, Mom. 201 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,790 Yeah, I took her to the hospital. They're going to do it right away. Okay, 202 00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,730 Touch one more thing and you're going to know how a popsicle feels. 203 00:15:58,230 --> 00:16:01,870 Um, I was just taking your trolls over to my desk because I'm going to take the 204 00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:06,470 day off and I thought you might like to sit closer to the sun because you're 205 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:09,510 such a beautiful flower. 206 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,560 No way, Drew. I know you. You probably got that rigged or something. 207 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,600 Don't urge yourself in and over. Let me get that. 208 00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,640 Hey, Mimi, have you got a pen I can borrow? 209 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:21,679 Oh, sure. 210 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:22,900 No, not that one. It's empty. 211 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,020 $15 ,000, $14 ,000. 212 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:46,210 Tell me about your sister. Is there anything we could do for you? 213 00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,010 Well, a little prayer wouldn't hurt. 214 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,590 Insult, man. 215 00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:55,450 Insult, man, for Mimi Bobik from Drew Carey. Oh, my God, I forgot. 216 00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:56,849 Hey, Drew. 217 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,290 Oh, you gotta be Mimi. 218 00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:02,650 That photo of you was black and white, but are those your eyelids or two 219 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:03,650 bending over? 220 00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:08,990 Oh, look, pal, I think that's enough, okay? Hey, hey, what, did the trailer 221 00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:09,990 cancel the dance? 222 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,220 Look, everybody, I made a bad choice. I scheduled all this stuff yesterday to 223 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:27,640 get back at Mimi for something that turns out she didn't even do. 224 00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:31,420 It's just that on this day of all days... 225 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:38,840 Mimi, 226 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,200 I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? 227 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,800 You could work for me today. 228 00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,540 Sure, anything you want. Just stop crying, okay? 229 00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,510 Everybody's everything. 230 00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:04,050 What? 231 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:09,750 Oh, yeah, but cheer up. My sister's in the hospital. It's just for liposuction. 232 00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,750 You made me pray for your sister's liposuction? 233 00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,330 And light a candle, because I'm going to get a pedicure. 234 00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:27,970 Sorry, Drew, but you've got to wake up. You could lose Lisa. You left her in a 235 00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,490 car and forgot all about her. 236 00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:31,170 Yeah, look, I know I messed up. 237 00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:33,530 You know how hard I am working to make this relationship work. 238 00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:36,230 I just wish I knew if Lisa and I were meant for each other. 239 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,310 There's no way to know. 240 00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:41,290 I mean, how does anybody know what's going to happen in like 20 years? 241 00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:42,329 I know. 242 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:46,510 In 20 years, there'll be no cars, no money, and sex will be with machines. 243 00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,730 So, in other words, for you, almost nothing will change. 244 00:18:54,610 --> 00:18:58,130 Look, you know, I'll be okay. I'll just sleep on it tonight. By tomorrow, I'll 245 00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,130 know what to do. 246 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,500 Well, I don't think she's going to wait outside until tomorrow. 247 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,360 Oh, do you want us to stay? Yeah, we'll stay. 248 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,720 We'll be there for you. 249 00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,380 Oh, 250 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,820 Lisa, that's so nice of you. You didn't have to do that. You didn't have to 251 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,540 bring me all the stuff I left over at your house. 252 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,960 Well, I thought you might want these things back. 253 00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:36,230 Well, look, let me start by apologizing. True, true. 254 00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:37,530 It's not about that. 255 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:41,170 It's about, well, everything. 256 00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:44,910 I guess there's only one thing left to do. 257 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,490 Move in together. 258 00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,370 What? 259 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,670 I think we should move in together. 260 00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:01,550 You know, let's... 261 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:05,020 Then our biggest problem is we just don't see enough of each other. 262 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,960 This way we'll see each other all the time. You see, it'll be perfect. 263 00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:09,300 We'll have to get along. 264 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,780 Get along? How will we have to love each other? Why don't we think of this 265 00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:12,780 before? 20235