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1
00:01:23,679 --> 00:01:26,820
In the shelter.
2
00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:44,589
Good morning, pig.
3
00:02:45,471 --> 00:02:47,439
Morning, Mamie.
4
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,510
Did you do something to your hair? My
hair is exactly the same.
5
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,130
Oh, well, I guess the snake's changed
colors.
6
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:04,680
What was that for?
7
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,480
That was for snitching that I was late
yesterday.
8
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:08,930
Okay, fair enough.
9
00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:12,719
Could you do me a favor and give me last
year's evaluations from the file
10
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,839
cabinet? I'm not that stupid. You think
I don't know that this thing's been
11
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:17,890
booby -trapped?
12
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,460
Because now I get to be barefoot all day
long.
13
00:03:38,461 --> 00:03:41,179
You need some new shoes? I'll make you
some.
14
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,800
Now, where did I put my anvil?
15
00:03:42,801 --> 00:03:49,479
Here's your stupid file. You could have
just printed out your own copy. I
16
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:50,899
already entered it in the computer.
17
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:53,759
What? You've been messing with my
computer? What did you do, plant a
18
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,779
No, I helped you open your own pig site.
www .big .pig
19
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:02,740
I'm warning you. If you've been screwing
with this...
20
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,260
pity games I have work to do.
21
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:20,360
Oh, man.
22
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,400
Now we'll know if you touch all the
donuts.
23
00:04:30,060 --> 00:04:31,110
What's so funny?
24
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,370
Nothing. I'm just smiling along with
you.
25
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,600
Oh, great. Now I need a wet nap.
26
00:04:37,601 --> 00:04:41,619
Well, I always keep a box on hand just
in case my prayers are answered and it
27
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:43,120
starts raining baby back ribs.
28
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,580
You deserve what I put in your top left
-hand drawer.
29
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,080
Oh, yeah? You open it.
30
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,470
Wimp.
31
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,640
Ooh, a dirty magazine.
32
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,080
Mimi, I'm so disappointed in you.
33
00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:09,180
Crazy glue injected into your wet naps
and a dirty magazine?
34
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:47,910
Love evaluation time.
35
00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:50,670
Ass, prepare to be kissed.
36
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,429
Drew, I know everyone's going to be
sucking up to you today, but I'm just
37
00:05:57,430 --> 00:06:00,469
to be brutally honest, and I know that
you're going to give me a fair
38
00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:01,520
evaluation.
39
00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:04,770
First of all, you're losing way too much
weight.
40
00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,820
You know, I'd be concerned about that
too, Kate.
41
00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:14,489
And second of all, you should be careful
how often you dull out that thousand
42
00:06:14,490 --> 00:06:15,540
-watt smile.
43
00:06:18,220 --> 00:06:23,740
With no disrespect to Denzel Washington,
you are the sexiest man alive.
44
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760
True eyes being totally sincere.
45
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:30,470
Gotta go.
46
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,160
Looking hard, swine butt.
47
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,170
Hey, you can't touch those. They're
confidential.
48
00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:39,330
It's okay.
49
00:06:39,331 --> 00:06:42,519
Don't worry, I'm not going to look at
them except the puff piece you wrote on
50
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,240
your little pencil holder, Lisa.
51
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,380
Wait a minute, this is no balance.
52
00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,660
Needs to show more maturity in the
managerial area.
53
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:53,560
Occasionally lacks patience.
54
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:54,860
Stupid and blind.
55
00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:56,470
I didn't write that.
56
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,060
She's dating you, isn't she?
57
00:06:59,220 --> 00:07:00,270
Hey, Drew.
58
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:03,579
Thanks, Mimi. I'll take those papers
right to the recycling bin for you.
59
00:07:03,580 --> 00:07:07,310
you mean these evaluations? Oh, look,
here's Lisa's. I wonder what it says.
60
00:07:07,311 --> 00:07:11,299
Nice try, Mimi, but Lisa's much too
secure in her job to want to see her
61
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:12,959
evaluation. Isn't that right, Lisa?
62
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,010
Secure, yes.
63
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,230
Curious, yes.
64
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,660
We sing I said yes last night, maybe.
65
00:07:19,180 --> 00:07:20,860
No job's worth that, honey.
66
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:28,399
You didn't write anything bad, did you,
Jim? No, in fact, I remember a little
67
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,260
something about asset to the company.
68
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,060
I'll see you tonight for dinner.
69
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:37,079
Oh, wait, you know, I can't. I'm going
clothes shopping with Kate.
70
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,250
Kate wants your advice on buying
clothes?
71
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:40,650
No, I want hers.
72
00:07:40,651 --> 00:07:43,119
We've been doing it every year since
high school. She even taught me what
73
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,170
of the gap to shop on.
74
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:50,359
Actually, I just remembered. I'm going
shopping with my friend Antonio tonight.
75
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,160
He wants me to help him pick out a cup.
76
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,400
So she's my best friend.
77
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,120
Yeah, and I'm your girlfriend.
78
00:07:58,121 --> 00:07:59,859
Well, why does this have to make you so
crazy?
79
00:07:59,860 --> 00:08:01,060
Hey, don't call me crazy.
80
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,620
Oh, honey.
81
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,950
We're both getting a little upset. I
think it's time.
82
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,730
Okay.
83
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,520
What I like most about you is...
84
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,900
Your sense of humor and your sexy voice.
85
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:28,760
And what I like most about you is you
make me laugh and you cry at movies.
86
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,570
That'll do, pig.
87
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,410
That's all he said.
88
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:37,430
That'll do, pig.
89
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,440
And you knew.
90
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:54,340
time with Kate, but please remember,
things go on clearance for a reason.
91
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:56,590
Yeah.
92
00:08:56,780 --> 00:09:00,390
Like I'm going to buy yellow spandex
pants again after all those papaya
93
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,410
Hey, Drew.
94
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,320
I found this basket on my desk and I'm
allergic to muffins.
95
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,330
Oh, you mean just like you were last
year on evaluation day? Oh, really?
96
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:14,440
Is today evaluation day? I didn't know.
97
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,960
I don't know. Let me check.
98
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,540
Anyone have a pen I can borrow?
99
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,530
Yep, it's today.
100
00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:30,319
Well, anyway, I figured, you know, you
being the greatest guy in the world and
101
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,370
all...
102
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:55,920
Oh, sure. Blame the pants.
103
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,240
Come on. How bad could they look?
104
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:02,360
Well, there was the famous MC Hammer
pants incident.
105
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,400
And, of course, Drew was the last actual
member of Members Only. Yes.
106
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,320
Okay, I'm coming down.
107
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,320
What's wrong? They look great.
108
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,020
Yeah, but they wrinkle weird.
109
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:21,720
What do you mean, wrinkle weird?
110
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,380
I don't know. They kind of...
111
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,879
He needs more maturity in the managerial
area to be a greater asset to the
112
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,420
company. Oh, well, big top's coming
down.
113
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,380
Hey, guys. Hey.
114
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,960
Drew, can I talk to you?
115
00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:05,930
Want to see what I can do with my new
pants?
116
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,460
Drew, that evaluation you wrote
questions my whole management technique.
117
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,170
I don't think so.
118
00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:16,769
Because I'm your girlfriend, you're
worried that people will think you're
119
00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:19,000
playing favorites, so you're tougher on
me.
120
00:11:19,270 --> 00:11:20,510
Not exactly.
121
00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,200
Not exactly what?
122
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,190
Not exactly. I was being honest.
123
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,190
Sit down, Drew. Show her the trick.
124
00:11:26,191 --> 00:11:31,569
Look, I put some good things in there,
too, but I have to be objective. You
125
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,010
know, I take my job seriously.
126
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:35,570
Wow, you must really think I'm bad at my
job.
127
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,770
And how can you call me immature? I
wasn't the one in the bathtub yelling,
128
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:41,970
look, it's a jacuzzi.
129
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:52,580
The thing I like most about you is... I
can see what you like best about me.
130
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:56,810
You're not walking out on me. You're
walking out on my pants.
131
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,140
That is just great.
132
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,840
That's just what Lisa and I need right
now.
133
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,810
How'd she get hold of her evaluation
anyway?
134
00:12:06,940 --> 00:12:10,480
There's only one person diabolical
enough to have done this.
135
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,210
Me.
136
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:19,460
Who do you think you'd be, Kate?
137
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,100
I'm going to get back at Mimi in a way
she will never forget.
138
00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:29,320
She's going to rue the day she ever
decided to mess with Drew Carey.
139
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,220
This is my independence day.
140
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,950
Hey, Drew.
141
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:41,040
I got a big date tomorrow night. Think I
can borrow your pants?
142
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,400
I gotta thank you, Chuck.
143
00:12:47,401 --> 00:12:50,139
I could have never rigged up Mimi's desk
like this all by myself.
144
00:12:50,140 --> 00:12:51,460
Be careful with that, Drew.
145
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:54,110
You wouldn't want those to detonate too
soon.
146
00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:57,499
I can't believe you got all these
instructions right off the internet.
147
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:01,050
That reminds me. I got to log on and
tell Brittany what happened on 90210.
148
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:04,230
Sorry, Drew.
149
00:13:04,231 --> 00:13:07,819
Lisa wouldn't take any of her gifts. But
she did say she'd come up and see you.
150
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,679
By the way, if you're apologizing to
somebody, you might want to give them
151
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,039
something better than Chorklets.
152
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,090
What?
153
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,940
They're Belgian chocolates.
154
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,920
No, Beldan Chorklets.
155
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,990
Imitation chocolate substitute.
156
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:25,220
Man, I got them from the same guy who
sold me my brand new Folex. Hey.
157
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:27,600
Hello, Drew.
158
00:13:27,601 --> 00:13:31,929
Did you want to talk about something
work -related, or do you want to give me
159
00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,980
diamond nortless?
160
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:40,870
Okay. I thought about what you said, and
you're right.
161
00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:44,650
Maybe I did overcompensate just a
little.
162
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,520
I need revaluation because you're my
girlfriend.
163
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,300
It's not just that.
164
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,000
It's your job.
165
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:55,020
I have to know sometimes you'd put me
first.
166
00:13:55,300 --> 00:14:00,499
It goes without saying I'd be there for
you. Hey, let's take the rest of the day
167
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,700
off. We'll say we're sick.
168
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:02,910
Today?
169
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:05,340
I got some pranks I want to watch.
170
00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:13,449
I'm getting back at Mimi for showing you
your evaluation.
171
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:14,929
She didn't show me my evaluation.
172
00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:15,949
Yes, she did.
173
00:14:15,950 --> 00:14:17,000
No, she didn't.
174
00:14:17,001 --> 00:14:19,889
Don't tell me Mimi didn't show your
evaluation. I've got trolls about to
175
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:20,940
explode.
176
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:25,529
I walked into the sales manager's
office, asked to see my evaluation, and
177
00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:26,569
showed it to me.
178
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:32,429
Oh, my God. I've got to get busy. Honey,
why don't you grab your coat and go
179
00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:36,040
downstairs? I'll be just a second. Okay.
I can't believe we're doing this.
180
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:39,359
What I like most about you is if
anything explodes, at least I won't be
181
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:40,410
described as a loner.
182
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,880
Mimi, what happened to you?
183
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,940
None of your beeswax, pinhead.
184
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:50,980
I'm trying to show some concern.
Obviously, you injured one of your hind
185
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,160
I hurt my leg running to get the phone.
186
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:59,490
It turns out my sister's been rushed
into emergency surgery.
187
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,750
She's probably under the knife right
now.
188
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,680
Oh. Don't go behind your desk. I mean,
uh...
189
00:15:04,681 --> 00:15:06,439
Maybe you should just take the day off.
190
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,940
I can't. I used up all my sick days
following KISS on tour.
191
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,540
Well, uh, at least let me get you a more
comfortable chair.
192
00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:16,990
Hey, you ready, Jim?
193
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:18,580
Almost. Okay, I'll wait.
194
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,100
No, that's not necessary.
195
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,350
Look, uh, it'll only be a second. Why
don't you just go wait down in the car?
196
00:15:24,351 --> 00:15:28,839
Oh, by the way, I parked in the sun, so
you might want to put a towel down in
197
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,160
the car before you sit down.
198
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,200
You are so thoughtful.
199
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:45,410
It's for you. Of course it's for me.
It's my phone. Keep your hands off my
200
00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:48,070
Oh, hi, Mom.
201
00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,920
Yeah, I took her to the hospital.
They're going to do it right away. Okay,
202
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:55,840
Touch one more thing and you're going to
know how a popsicle feels.
203
00:15:55,841 --> 00:16:01,869
Um, I was just taking your trolls over
to my desk because I'm going to take the
204
00:16:01,870 --> 00:16:06,469
day off and I thought you might like to
sit closer to the sun because you're
205
00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:09,510
such a beautiful flower.
206
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,560
No way, Drew. I know you. You probably
got that rigged or something.
207
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:18,879
Don't urge yourself in and over. Let me
get that.
208
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,919
Hey, Mimi, have you got a pen I can
borrow?
209
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:21,679
Oh, sure.
210
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,000
No, not that one. It's empty.
211
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,020
$15 ,000, $14 ,000.
212
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:46,449
Tell me about your sister. Is there
anything we could do for you?
213
00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,010
Well, a little prayer wouldn't hurt.
214
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,640
Insult, man.
215
00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:55,450
Insult, man, for Mimi Bobik from Drew
Carey. Oh, my God, I forgot.
216
00:16:55,451 --> 00:16:56,849
Hey, Drew.
217
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,290
Oh, you gotta be Mimi.
218
00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:02,649
That photo of you was black and white,
but are those your eyelids or two
219
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:03,700
bending over?
220
00:17:03,701 --> 00:17:08,989
Oh, look, pal, I think that's enough,
okay? Hey, hey, what, did the trailer
221
00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:10,040
cancel the dance?
222
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,219
Look, everybody, I made a bad choice. I
scheduled all this stuff yesterday to
223
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:27,640
get back at Mimi for something that
turns out she didn't even do.
224
00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:31,419
It's just that on this day of all
days...
225
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:38,840
Mimi,
226
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,200
I am so sorry. Is there anything I can
do to make it up to you?
227
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,800
You could work for me today.
228
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:48,690
Sure, anything you want. Just stop
crying, okay?
229
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,770
Everybody's everything.
230
00:18:03,050 --> 00:18:04,100
What?
231
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:09,750
Oh, yeah, but cheer up. My sister's in
the hospital. It's just for liposuction.
232
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,750
You made me pray for your sister's
liposuction?
233
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:18,330
And light a candle, because I'm going to
get a pedicure.
234
00:18:24,230 --> 00:18:27,969
Sorry, Drew, but you've got to wake up.
You could lose Lisa. You left her in a
235
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,490
car and forgot all about her.
236
00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:31,330
Yeah, look, I know I messed up.
237
00:18:31,331 --> 00:18:33,929
You know how hard I am working to make
this relationship work.
238
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:36,700
I just wish I knew if Lisa and I were
meant for each other.
239
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,390
There's no way to know.
240
00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:41,549
I mean, how does anybody know what's
going to happen in like 20 years?
241
00:18:41,550 --> 00:18:42,329
I know.
242
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:46,510
In 20 years, there'll be no cars, no
money, and sex will be with machines.
243
00:18:49,090 --> 00:18:51,920
So, in other words, for you, almost
nothing will change.
244
00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:58,129
Look, you know, I'll be okay. I'll just
sleep on it tonight. By tomorrow, I'll
245
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,180
know what to do.
246
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:03,759
Well, I don't think she's going to wait
outside until tomorrow.
247
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,360
Oh, do you want us to stay? Yeah, we'll
stay.
248
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,720
We'll be there for you.
249
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,430
Oh,
250
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:22,819
Lisa, that's so nice of you. You didn't
have to do that. You didn't have to
251
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:25,170
bring me all the stuff I left over at
your house.
252
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,010
Well, I thought you might want these
things back.
253
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:36,230
Well, look, let me start by apologizing.
True, true.
254
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:37,580
It's not about that.
255
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:41,170
It's about, well, everything.
256
00:19:43,230 --> 00:19:45,280
I guess there's only one thing left to
do.
257
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,540
Move in together.
258
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,420
What?
259
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,670
I think we should move in together.
260
00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:01,600
You know, let's...
261
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:05,279
Then our biggest problem is we just
don't see enough of each other.
262
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,259
This way we'll see each other all the
time. You see, it'll be perfect.
263
00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:09,400
We'll have to get along.
264
00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:11,779
Get along? How will we have to love each
other? Why don't we think of this
265
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:12,829
before?
266
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:17,380
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