Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,570 --> 00:00:02,659
Anybody see Kate?
2
00:00:02,660 --> 00:00:06,390
Nah, man, I guess you'd rather be with
some guy she fell in love with than us.
3
00:00:06,391 --> 00:00:09,699
Yeah, looks like we're gonna have to
wait out the two weeks of euphoria and
4
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:10,800
sexual exploration.
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,650
Two weeks?
6
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:16,080
That's why I never fall in love.
7
00:00:16,081 --> 00:00:19,239
Because it'd be just the two of you
guys, sitting by yourselves at the bar,
8
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:23,299
crying in your beer, wishing you were...
I'd kill the both of you right now for
9
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,350
a woman. Oh...
10
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,900
Now it's not that easy, Drew. You'd have
to kill all the men on Earth.
11
00:00:28,901 --> 00:00:30,269
You know, it's weird.
12
00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:33,510
With Kate gone, women have stopped
coming by the table to chat.
13
00:00:33,790 --> 00:00:37,640
Let's face it. We need Kate. Everything
I know about women, I learned from Kate.
14
00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:41,169
Yeah. I mean, like, who knew that a
tight dress and spiked heels made a
15
00:00:41,170 --> 00:00:42,220
look cheap? Not me.
16
00:00:42,221 --> 00:00:45,769
You know, she was a really good
listener. You could talk about personal
17
00:00:45,770 --> 00:00:46,929
and really open up to her.
18
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,850
Drew, you can talk to us about anything.
19
00:00:49,210 --> 00:00:50,260
We'll listen.
20
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:53,950
Well, I walked by my parents' old room
the other day, and I was thinking...
21
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,420
No, I really miss having my mom nearby.
22
00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,780
Could that be because you're a girl?
23
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,400
I miss you!
24
00:01:04,379 --> 00:01:06,789
See, if Kate were here, we wouldn't have
done it.
25
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:09,539
Excuse me, are you using the ketchup?
26
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:10,299
Oh, sure.
27
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,350
Thanks.
28
00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:14,530
Wow. That's off to you, pal. Eating red
meat after midnight?
29
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,180
Makes me proud to be in America.
30
00:01:16,181 --> 00:01:20,139
Yeah, well, if I don't hit like 4 ,000
calories a day, I'd drop weight like
31
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:23,319
that. I thought I'd hit 4 ,000 calories
by breakfast. I'd have a Snickers bar on
32
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,370
the way to the car.
33
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:27,460
It's just a joke, man.
34
00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:28,990
You're Drew Carey.
35
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,570
Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. You
don't have to answer that, Drew.
36
00:01:32,571 --> 00:01:36,679
You know, the smaller glasses almost
threw me, but other than that, you
37
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,000
changed since junior high.
38
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:41,010
Well, the glasses are the same size. My
head just got bigger.
39
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,880
That's because you grew your hair out.
40
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,800
Drew, you hippie, it's me, Jay Clemens.
Jay?
41
00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,350
Such a good -looking kid. What happened?
42
00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:55,970
Yeah, same old story.
43
00:01:56,230 --> 00:01:57,550
Booze, women, grease fire.
44
00:01:57,730 --> 00:01:59,170
That's how you've been. Great.
45
00:01:59,330 --> 00:02:00,710
You remember Oswald Lewis?
46
00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:02,790
This is so wild.
47
00:02:02,791 --> 00:02:05,969
You put desks in front of you and books
in front of those beers?
48
00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,170
We're back in detention.
49
00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:15,509
So, Jay, what brings you back to our
little corner of paradise?
50
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:19,000
I just got a divorce after three
glorious years of marriage. Oh, sorry.
51
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:21,860
It's okay. They were spread out over 15
years of hell.
52
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,470
Hey, didn't you marry Lisa Janouche?
53
00:02:25,471 --> 00:02:28,769
Oh, the prom king and queen getting
married. You never see something like
54
00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:29,820
coming, do you?
55
00:02:29,821 --> 00:02:32,909
You know, if a few more people had voted
for Mary Deutsch, I might not be
56
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:33,789
sitting here today.
57
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:36,740
I'd be with Mary Deutsch and her lesbian
lover in Portland.
58
00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:40,269
So, you still working at your dad's
bowling alley?
59
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:41,830
No, I own a small moving company.
60
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,540
AAA action movie.
61
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:47,509
Used to be a lot bigger, but my wife got
half the trucks in the divorce.
62
00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:51,030
See, now I have to compete with AAA
action movie.
63
00:02:51,031 --> 00:02:53,789
So, you're going to start dating again,
huh?
64
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:57,569
I hate to be the one to break this to
you, but success and good looks went out
65
00:02:57,570 --> 00:02:58,469
in the 80s.
66
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,410
Yeah, this is our time now.
67
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:04,150
Hi, would you like to dance?
68
00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:08,389
Hi, maybe later. I'm just catching up
with some old buddies of mine who I
69
00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,950
haven't seen since junior high.
70
00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:13,220
Oh. Sorry, I didn't notice.
71
00:03:13,221 --> 00:03:18,419
Boy, don't you hate it how when you're
just trying to hang out with the guys,
72
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:21,070
women just never give you a moment of
peace? Oh, yeah.
73
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,620
Moon over Parma, bring my love to me
tonight.
74
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,820
Guide her to Cleveland, hung underneath
your silvery light.
75
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,360
We're going bowling, so don't lose her
in Solon.
76
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,640
Moon over Parma tonight.
77
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:46,310
Not another kid.
78
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:47,750
That's eight.
79
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:51,050
The guy never leaves his car. How the
hell does he do it?
80
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,130
When you went to the bathroom, Drew, I
saw him going to drive it.
81
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:00,460
You know the rules. Another kid, another
sugar stick. Yeah.
82
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:19,759
This was so much fun when we were kids.
83
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:24,160
Hi, everybody. I'm back, and I'm better
than ever. Hey. Hey.
84
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,880
Hey, Kate. Beer's in the fridge.
85
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,880
All right. Payday.
86
00:04:27,881 --> 00:04:31,499
Obviously, these slobs are never going
to introduce me. I'm Jay.
87
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:35,360
Oh. Actually, I'm sorry, Kate. It's Jay
Clemens. You know, from junior high.
88
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,280
No way, Jay Clemens. I gave you a
concussion playing dodgeball.
89
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,010
I remember.
90
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:42,900
Like, I kind of remember.
91
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,010
No, seriously.
92
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,770
Kate O 'Brien, captain of the girls'
basketball team.
93
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:48,850
sexy legs O 'Brien?
94
00:04:48,851 --> 00:04:52,819
Kate O 'Brien, I killed the principal,
put his hat on a stick and ran down the
95
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:56,010
hall screaming, you'll never forget me
for this, Kate O 'Brien.
96
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,840
I thought that was Sally Thomas.
97
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:00,920
You guys are playing life.
98
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,379
How come you didn't call me? You always
call me.
99
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:06,119
Well, you know, Chase said he'd be glad
to fill in. We figured you were out with
100
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,640
Ken. Oh, yeah.
101
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,120
Ken and I broke up.
102
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,700
He had to leave town because of his job.
103
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:14,439
That's the last thing you'd expect from
a carnival worker.
104
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,490
Are you okay?
105
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,240
Yeah, I guess. I'm going to miss him.
Ken was special.
106
00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:21,399
He wasn't like other carnival workers.
107
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,460
He was a dreamer.
108
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,280
He had wanderlust.
109
00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:28,970
Is she talking about Walt Whitman or the
guy who runs the Scrambler?
110
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,250
Excuse me?
111
00:05:31,251 --> 00:05:35,139
Take a tip from somebody who knows. It's
best not to dwell on these things.
112
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:37,120
Oh, pardon me, new guy.
113
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:41,920
But I'm hardly dwelling. We broke up ten
minutes ago.
114
00:05:41,921 --> 00:05:45,769
All I'm saying is that your relationship
obviously wasn't meant to be, so maybe
115
00:05:45,770 --> 00:05:46,949
you should just put it behind you.
116
00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:52,029
You barely know me. You know, I'm fine.
Forget it. I'll just watch you guys
117
00:05:52,030 --> 00:05:53,080
play.
118
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,330
Win Nobel Prize?
119
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:57,520
How the hell does a travel agent win the
Nobel Prize?
120
00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:03,170
Hey, you're using the blue car. That's
usually my car.
121
00:06:03,171 --> 00:06:06,149
Do you want to play? We're all out of
cars, but you can use one of Drew's
122
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:09,690
emergency milk duds. Oh, no, no, that's
okay.
123
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,300
I'll just watch.
124
00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:15,120
Now that I've been watching, I've
noticed something, too.
125
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,910
What are you wearing?
126
00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,650
Are those my puppy slippers?
127
00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:23,060
These are yours?
128
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,990
Wow, I thought I had big feet.
129
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:35,030
You know, I leave those here for the
times my feet get cold and wet.
130
00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:38,689
I'm sorry, Kate. It was my fault. You
accidentally stepped in that puddle that
131
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:40,310
you always accidentally step in.
132
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:43,769
My puddle?
133
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,980
Excuse me. I gotta go to the bathroom.
134
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:49,950
You don't have a special toilet you call
your own, do you?
135
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,680
Good looking and funny. You don't often
see that.
136
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,050
Yeah.
137
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:58,070
Want a beer, Kate?
138
00:06:58,180 --> 00:06:59,500
No, thanks. I'm not thirsty.
139
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,810
Just thought you might want to mark your
territory.
140
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:11,200
I wasn't doing anything.
141
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:13,690
Will you drop it?
142
00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:20,930
Listen, you're acting very suspicious in
here, and I thought... Wow.
143
00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:24,880
Those black and white security cameras
don't do you justice.
144
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:28,770
What's going on here?
145
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,280
I caught her going through your things,
Drew.
146
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:34,060
Thanks, Chuck. I think I can handle
things from here.
147
00:07:34,061 --> 00:07:37,329
Give me a couple of minutes, and those
cameras can look the other way, if you
148
00:07:37,330 --> 00:07:38,380
know what I mean.
149
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,640
Going through my drawers, huh?
150
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:48,880
Now, you'd assume that I go to the upper
left -hand drawer as I am left -handed,
151
00:07:48,881 --> 00:07:52,779
but you would know that I remember the
rat trap incident and overcompensate by
152
00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:54,400
going to the lower right.
153
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,940
That's why... Aha!
154
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,080
A dead fish.
155
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:07,840
You disappoint me, mean.
156
00:08:08,340 --> 00:08:09,600
You can't prove it's mine.
157
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,310
You're the only one that swallows them
whole.
158
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,230
You know, Mimi, this is just a cry for
help.
159
00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:19,439
Your problem is you can't express your
true feelings for me.
160
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,840
I could if I had a bone saw and some
salt.
161
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:24,620
How about a bow and arrow?
162
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:25,740
You know, like Cupid?
163
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,500
It's going to take more than that to
ruin my birthday week.
164
00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:04,310
Happy birthday to me.
165
00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:06,000
Hey, guys.
166
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:08,929
I'll be right in a minute. I was
thinking maybe we could go to dinner.
167
00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:10,250
Then we'll go see the movie.
168
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:11,610
So, where's Jake?
169
00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:15,169
One of his movers called in sick and he
had to fill in. I don't know if he can
170
00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:18,660
make it. Oh, man, I hope this isn't my
fault. He may think I don't like him.
171
00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:19,869
Hey, ladies.
172
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:20,920
Ugh, him.
173
00:09:21,530 --> 00:09:25,570
Hey, Brad, how you doing? Yeah, the old
hernia started flaring up, so... Hey,
174
00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:26,329
look at this thing.
175
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,289
No, no.
176
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,340
I'm kidding.
177
00:09:28,470 --> 00:09:29,730
The move was rescheduled.
178
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,410
Oh, we don't get to see a hernia?
179
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:34,450
That's a shame. My uncle had a hernia.
It was huge.
180
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:35,740
We used to ride it.
181
00:09:37,170 --> 00:09:41,830
Boys, there's nothing that I love more
than a great hernia story before dinner.
182
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:43,490
Where do you want to go?
183
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,090
Why don't we go for Chinese?
184
00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:47,889
Actually, I just found the greatest
Italian place. It's right around the
185
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:49,270
Italian, man. I'm up for that.
186
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:53,669
Actually, Chinese makes a better pre
-movie dinner. As anyone knows, it's not
187
00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:57,280
heavy. Since when does that matter?
We're not going to swim in the movie,
188
00:09:57,281 --> 00:10:01,409
Well, for your information, I always
pick the restaurants.
189
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:03,940
So tell that you're not. Come on. Who
wants Italian?
190
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,540
Fine. We know that you and Oswald want
Italian.
191
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:08,340
Louis?
192
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:10,500
Well...
193
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:12,490
I guess I'll take Chinese.
194
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:14,220
Drew?
195
00:10:15,970 --> 00:10:17,020
Look,
196
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:20,929
the important thing is that we're all
going to eat together, right? It doesn't
197
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,969
matter where we have dinner. Let's just
flip a coin.
198
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,470
Heads Chinese, tails Italian.
199
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:27,929
Ah, I've got to flip this thing again.
200
00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:29,070
I had Chinese for lunch.
201
00:10:29,511 --> 00:10:33,349
What the hell's wrong with this thing?
202
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:36,669
What kind of excuse is that, you had
Chinese for lunch? Do you think they say
203
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,590
that in China? Oh, we just had Chinese?
204
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:45,260
Actually, Kate, I prefer Italian. I was
just scared.
205
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,700
Okay, it's not worth the fight. I'm
sorry. Let's just go to Antonio's.
206
00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:52,519
Actually, I was thinking Mario's.
207
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,740
What a jerk! I can't take it!
208
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,680
Happy birthday, boy!
209
00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:03,959
Hey, help me out here. What do you want
for your birthday?
210
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,899
I'd like one week where I get the looks
and you're the big jolly guy with the
211
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,220
overflowing personality.
212
00:11:08,221 --> 00:11:10,499
Hey, how about a membership at a gym?
213
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,390
Hey, that'd go good with the giant
Speedos I'm buying you.
214
00:11:13,391 --> 00:11:17,899
I got a beer for Kate just in case she
shows up. Hey, might as well drink it
215
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:20,019
now. She's never coming anywhere near us
again.
216
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:21,559
I can't even get her in her house.
217
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,539
Can you believe she called me and said
she wasn't coming to my birthday party?
218
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,199
Boy, I feel a little bit responsible.
219
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,879
I mean, it's just like we naturally push
each other's buttons.
220
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,579
Everybody's like that a little bit with
Kate. You just gotta understand her.
221
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:34,039
Sometimes she likes to pick with her
right before she makes her point with
222
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,660
left. You mean figuratively?
223
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,250
Yeah, figuratively.
224
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,660
Hey, Kate. How are you doing? Kate.
225
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:43,959
What's up? Kate.
226
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,010
Hi.
227
00:11:45,011 --> 00:11:48,939
I'm Kate from the store. You work in the
warehouse, don't you?
228
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,640
No. We're in lingerie.
229
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,620
Mind if I sit down?
230
00:11:55,621 --> 00:11:57,399
You sure you work at the store?
231
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,499
Yeah, you know, Kate O 'Brien,
cosmetics.
232
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,550
Doesn't ring a bell.
233
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,420
Why doesn't anyone remember me?
234
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:03,739
Oh, yeah.
235
00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,790
You're the whiner.
236
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,770
Hey, ladies.
237
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:09,950
Kate.
238
00:12:09,951 --> 00:12:12,189
Can I talk to you for a minute?
239
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:18,009
No, I'm here with my friends. This is,
uh, and you know, um, the, uh, the, uh,
240
00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,060
girls.
241
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,270
Come on, it's really important.
242
00:12:25,970 --> 00:12:28,550
You know, uh, I've been trying to call
you.
243
00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:30,510
I even went to your house.
244
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:35,429
I know you and Jay aren't getting along,
but it's my calls. You're not
245
00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:40,089
returning. I really miss you, and I
was... I'd love it if you would come to
246
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:40,969
birthday party.
247
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,329
You're having a birthday party?
248
00:12:42,330 --> 00:12:44,350
Yeah. Hey, we love to party.
249
00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:46,100
Yeah, I bet you do.
250
00:12:46,401 --> 00:12:50,309
I'm not going if Jay's going to be
there.
251
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,590
Twan, he's a nice guy.
252
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:55,809
Fine, I'm sure he is, and I'm glad you
like him. It's just that I feel
253
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:58,509
uncomfortable around him, and I don't
want to ruin your party.
254
00:12:58,510 --> 00:12:59,990
Oh, you won't ruin my party.
255
00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:02,590
Oh, yes, I will.
256
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:07,230
Well, there goes another gift.
257
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,310
Hey, do you guys mind? I need to talk to
Jay alone for a second. Oh, okay.
258
00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:18,830
What's up, buddy?
259
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,840
Listen, Jay, I have kind of a problem.
260
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,010
Let me guess.
261
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,160
Kate doesn't want me at the party.
262
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:25,510
Wow.
263
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,100
Okay, I'm thinking of a color.
264
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:31,950
Look, I know what's going on here. It's
cool. I won't go.
265
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,990
Thanks. Kate's just in a weird place
right now.
266
00:13:34,991 --> 00:13:38,359
That carnival guy, she thought he was
Mr. Right ever since he guessed her
267
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,410
weight.
268
00:13:39,411 --> 00:13:40,599
Whatever, man.
269
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,650
Have a good time.
270
00:13:41,651 --> 00:13:44,879
You know, it is my birthday. You could
try to fight it a little bit.
271
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:45,930
Okay.
272
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,460
Can I please come to your party?
273
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,980
Oh, don't embarrass yourself.
274
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,330
Boy,
275
00:13:52,571 --> 00:13:57,519
I can't believe I have to pick between
two friends.
276
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,699
Hey, he was the one who broke your lava
lamp and blamed it on the wind.
277
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:03,639
He took your beer and said they forgot
to put it in the grocery bag. No, I did
278
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:04,690
not.
279
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:22,419
gonna be at uh drew's party uh i'm in a
relationship because if you're
280
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:28,159
there we're there we want to party with
you you bring me some of that party girl
281
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:34,599
i'm in a relationship i
282
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,959
made a dirty cake
283
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:44,080
what's that supposed to be isn't that to
know
284
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,300
Isn't that where that goes?
285
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:52,740
Well, then it's a man with a pointy hat.
286
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,130
share it with you.
287
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,020
Is this me with the pointy hat?
288
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:33,360
And now, part of the evening you've all
been waiting for, drumroll please.
289
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,480
Drew Carey, this is your life.
290
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,240
Oh, I hope I get to go to the prom this
time.
291
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:45,360
Okay, Drew Carey, do you remember this
voice?
292
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:48,670
What voice?
293
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,810
This voice?
294
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:52,930
It's you.
295
00:16:13,361 --> 00:16:15,309
World Series.
296
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:21,169
I've got over 3 ,000 hits and 450 home
runs, seven gold gloves, 12 all -star
297
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:24,750
games, and been drafted in three
professional sports.
298
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:28,100
That's pretty good. It sounds just like
Dave Winfield.
299
00:16:41,371 --> 00:16:45,779
We know each other. What are you talking
about?
300
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:49,199
Well, you know what he eats, you know
his favorite color, you know what he
301
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:51,859
for in a woman. I thought you guys went
to school together or something.
302
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:52,910
No, I'm just a big fan.
303
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,080
Then why are you here?
304
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,200
You said there was a 12 -foot sub
sandwich here.
305
00:16:58,420 --> 00:16:59,470
Oh.
306
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:04,050
Hey, you want to go up to my room and
see my sports trophies?
307
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,310
Would I? Let's go.
308
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,720
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
309
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:09,500
There's one more voice.
310
00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:13,089
Drew, I was sitting home alone thinking
this is stupid.
311
00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:16,809
My friend's having a birthday, and
what's the harm if I came over, gave him
312
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:17,860
present, and left?
313
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:20,680
And, Kate, put the cake knife down. I'll
only be a minute.
314
00:17:21,410 --> 00:17:22,490
Nice try, Jay.
315
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,529
But you had to deliver the present
tonight?
316
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:25,580
It's perishable.
317
00:17:25,581 --> 00:17:26,689
What is it?
318
00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:27,740
A fudsicle.
319
00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:30,670
Fudsicle? I like anything on a stick.
320
00:17:32,270 --> 00:17:33,320
Okay, okay.
321
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:34,460
Now go home.
322
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:37,030
Well, come on, Kate. Be a sport.
323
00:17:37,031 --> 00:17:38,889
Let him see till the beer runs out.
324
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:41,790
Hey, Drew, can I drink directly from the
tap?
325
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:49,720
cake runs out. Can I have more cakes?
326
00:17:52,260 --> 00:17:54,100
Come on, just let him stay for an hour.
327
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,720
Fine, we could use a pinata.
328
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,180
Hey, I'm not the one who's full of crap.
329
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,120
Okay, that's it.
330
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,540
Girlfriends, do you see this guy?
331
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:06,820
He said you may look strong, but you
couldn't lift Diddley over your heads.
332
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:09,430
Come here, Diddley.
333
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:12,840
All right, that's it.
334
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,810
You two act like a couple of third
graders.
335
00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:18,189
There is no reason you couldn't get
along.
336
00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:20,529
I want you to get your butts in that
kitchen and don't come out until you
337
00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:23,369
these things out. Remember, no gouging,
no hitting below the belt, no hair
338
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,660
pulling. And, Jay, I hope you're wearing
a cup.
339
00:18:27,730 --> 00:18:29,130
Well, now look what you did.
340
00:18:29,131 --> 00:18:32,769
Not only did you ruin the party, but you
made a spectacle of both of us.
341
00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:36,849
Look, we got off on the wrong foot here.
Just because I used your stupid car in
342
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,989
that stupid game doesn't mean I'm trying
to replace you.
343
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:41,870
Ooh, replace me. Ooh, my deepest fear.
344
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:44,989
Are you really serious? see into my
soul. You know what? You are the
345
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:47,520
most self -centered woman I haven't
divorced yet.
346
00:18:47,730 --> 00:18:52,789
Oh, I'm self -centered? You talking
about how good looking you are, how
347
00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:55,970
you are, how much I'm attracted to you.
You, you, you.
348
00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:58,450
I never said you were attracted to me.
349
00:19:00,150 --> 00:19:03,370
But don't pretend like you don't think
I'm not.
350
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:10,150
What's up?
351
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:11,730
A little too quiet in there.
352
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,310
She must have gone for the voice box
first.
353
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,450
Hi.
354
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,400
I just got engaged.
355
00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:22,390
You want to dance?
356
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:26,500
Well, you know, I... Did my voice go up?
Because that wasn't a question.
357
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,150
Hold that thought.
358
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,290
Don't hold on to that.
359
00:19:30,291 --> 00:19:33,399
Second thought. Hold that. And let me go
check on something that's going on
360
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,450
here.
361
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,760
Kate. Oh.
362
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:40,600
Jay. That bastard hit me in the mouth
with his face.
363
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,750
Yeah.
364
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,620
So, uh, I take it you two have decided
to become friends?
365
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,360
No, I think they've been kissing.
366
00:19:52,361 --> 00:19:58,659
So let me get this straight. One minute
you're mortal enemies, and then the next
367
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:00,220
minute you're just making out?
368
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,770
Excuse me, I gotta go pick a fight with
the big blonde.
369
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,399
Uh, you know, Jay, now that you're
dating Kate, a little bit of advice, uh,
370
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,450
likes to win.
371
00:20:13,451 --> 00:20:15,619
Yeah, I found that out after our first
date.
372
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,630
She said, you want to race to the car?
And then she tripped me.
373
00:20:18,631 --> 00:20:21,019
So is there anything else that you know
about my little Kate?
374
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:24,990
Well, when she says stop tickling, stop
tickling. Because she'll pee her pants.
375
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,140
I got one. Wait.
376
00:20:28,141 --> 00:20:32,159
Sometimes it gets so cold, her nose
starts to run. She can't feel it. Okay,
377
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,900
that's it. Stop. We have pictures. All
right.
378
00:20:35,950 --> 00:20:40,500
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30359
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof