Original subtitles

-[tapping] -[intro music]

Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all about knowing fuck all about owt,

needs to watch their back. [cries out]

So, you've had your Labour, reclassifying skunk,

sending prices sky high,

literally, literally taking the grass from its own roots.

And now you've got your con-dem-nation.

Liberals noshing Tories like altar boys picking dimps up.

Have we had a national fucking stroke or what?

Is revolution a word or was it never?

Anybody watching, needs to know

we cope better than average with irony in Chatsworth.

Well, for fuck's sake, we live in Manchester

and they charge us for water?

I wandered lonely as a clown, necking mushrooms rarely found,

this green and pleasant land in ancient times...

yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!

It's not theirs anymore.

-This is our England now. -[cheering]

Party!

[intro music]

[intro music fades]

[Carl] Get a few quid, shag a few birds, decent clobber, smart motor...

what then?

Twenty five percent of lads aged 18 to 26 are waiting to be discovered.

And ffty percent of sixteen year olds want to be famous.

For what? Don't you need to be able to do something first?

When the painful truth hits them hard in the bollocks

there's gonna be plenty of disillusioned young men and women out there.

[Frank] There son, go on.

Go on son. Ta!

[Carl] It's handy for alcohol companies and drug dealers,

as everyone gets twatted to try and deal with it.

Are you one of them bitter losers, wondering what went wrong?

Or, is there still time to do something about it?

[door opens]

[man] Kelly Maguire...

[laughing]

I'll be there in five. G'on, tell me what you're wearing.

Sick. Where are you rubbing it?

Go on, girl. Turn it to the highest, let me hear you.

Getting me at it now.

-[alarm ringing] -[woman] He's got my bag! He's got my bag!

Push it all the way up.

I bet it's nice. Now pinch your nipples and shout my name.

Hope it's not your mum or sister next.

Yeah, they wouldn't be out on their own.

No nothing, I'm coming. Not in my pants, just wait there.

-[flesh squishing] -[mugger] Ah, help!

Will somebody give me a hand? I'm a policeman!

Look, somebody give me hand!

[mugger] Help!

Can someone help?!

[mugger screaming in pain]

Yeah, ambulance. His leg's impaled on a fence.

Look, will someone give us a hand?

-[phone ringing] -[mugger screaming]

Gallagher...?

-[mugger screaming] -[breathing heavily]

Yeah, I'm almost there...

...with love and respect for the woman I worship

and whose family I'm privileged to enter.

I pledge to guide her beautiful children...

Maybe doing our own vows is a bad idea?

Mimi's keen you stamp your own style on this wedding.

-She'll do a good job with hers. -The lads'll think I'm taking the piss.

So focus more on your love for Mimi,

but, bottom line... you are going to be their step-father.

-[Micky] Mam? -She's in the Jockey.

I've just give Scouse Macka a slap. Spreading lies.

Said Dalglish and Souness spit-roast her

the night them tramps won the European Cup.

-She hates Jocks. -Maybe that's why?

-What yous up to? -[Jackson] Private tuition.

-Thought you got maths? -Everyone can improve.

It's so I can help out with invoices, spread sheets...

-Duh! We don't keep paper trails. -The Jockey has to.

-Tax returns... -Karen does all that.

"I promise to love, cherish and mentor these beautiful children

James, Shane, Michael and Cilla..."

[grunts]

"I was the sad song you made better...

said don't be afraid of the dark..."

Fucking knew it!

-Mam and that granny-shagger... -Et tu Rooney...

-He's got a name. -Yeah?

-What's the opposite of paedophile? -Paedophobe?

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry Mimi.

[Jamie] Somebody gonna tell us what's going on?

I wanted a more fitting occasion for the announcement...

But I suppose more time to get your heads around it is no bad thing...

Billy Tutton is doing me the honour of making me his wife.

Who's Billy Tutton?

No congratulations?

A match made in Jeremy Kyle ratings heaven.

May you have a gilf-edged future.

No "three cheers for the happy couple"?

[Mimi] Bet a round of drinks on the house will break the ice?

On me.

[all cheering]

[paper rustles]

I didn't get rid of it.

So lay off the vodka!

I swore I'd never be a single mum!

You don't know what he'll say. Shane loves--

-It's got nothing to do with him. -How can it not?

Always trying to be nice. Makes my skin crawl.

-Bit harsh. -All that natural, earthy shit...

used to turn me on...

Thrilled he was so different. Now he just stinks.

Your emotions are bound to be all over the place.

You know when you know. I've moved on.

[paper rustles]

-I hate this park. -Even with me to protect you?

[bikes approaching]

Where were those shitbags when they were needed?

Eeew. Check PC Plod shaking his daft head.

-Bet you feel safe with him at night. -Carl's ten times the man you'll ever be.

Carl...

I think he knows it takes more than Armani jeans and a pair of air max

to be a man... eh Gallagher?

[Vicky] Stand up for yourself!

Do you two wash the filth off each other in the shower?

Leave it.

Did you know him?

I think so.

Simon... Wexford?

In our kid's year in school.

-Ian? -Lip.

Good at football?

Brilliant. City's academy.

Not that good then.

[Micky] I vote we choke him on his bollocks,

slice him like a pizza

and feed him to the eels in the Manchester ship canal.

Ah the curious face of Billy Tutton Button.

I'll get him on his own, have a word.

Imagine it's you or him...

Dead or alive but there can only be one winner...

Alright. Calm down. -[Micky] Right,

he's ripped you off for fifty grand. [laughing]

[Micky] Nobheads.

-We can't kill him for marrying mum. -Pussies.

[Jamie] We make the little shit realise this can't happen.

Send him far away if necessary.

-[Shane] If she follows him? -At least we've done our best.

-Have you heard yourselves? -Earwigging.

Surprises are nice, but I don't want you spending too much.

Our love for each other is everything we need.

D'you reckon Mimi?

[Kelly] Few brothers and sisters might be nice for Cilla.

We'll have to get a move on.

That's what it's all about Mimi.

Maybe some day you'll get a grip of your bird?

Billy... I need a word.

Can't mate I'm sorry... got to go see a man about a car.

[rock music]

[music stops]

Me and Paddy turned the tables on the greedy fucks.

Started drinking in this hotel weeks before,

spent plenty, got the manager sweet...

Night of the wedding, promised we'd pay the tab at the end.

Free bar, everyone proper drunk, we just did one. Never went back.

-Why don't we do that? -Cameras, too many grasses.

-It's tricky now. -I hope I make you as happy as Paddy did.

[Mimi] Oh of course you do.

-[kiss] -[door closes]

[Mimi] And then some... Handsome.

Did you bait many badgers, Daisy Crockett?

Lovely. Keep us cosy this winter.

Make a nice hat and mittens them.

You're alright in there?

-It's easier to concentrate. -Did you ask Chesney about the food?

What?

You know Jamie won't let this happen.

And we all have to follow our leader.

I can't do dead things anymore.

-I thought we were doing alright. -I'm sorry Shane.

-I can't be with you. -After everything that we've been through?

Years of ups, downs, spinning round and fucking round?

What's so big that we can't deal with it now?

It's not about the big stuff anymore.

-Is it that bald fucker? -[sighs]

[mimics] Slag... wanker, wanker!

[laughing]

Come on! I can do that.

Bad taste Shane.

-[tense music] -[Shane grunts]

Are you going to him?

I'm going to no one.

There is no one.

Then what?

The fact that there almost was.

Means you can't be the one anymore.

[Shane sighs]

I promise.

-I promise that I will make this better. -Don't...

[chuckles] No more hunting if that helps...

Kel I swear to God watch me.

-Now that I know how you feel-- -You don't know how I feel.

Yes, I do.

[breathing heavily]

I swear... I swear I'll fix us.

Just give me one more chance to show you.

That's all I need.

-[sighs] -I'll show you.

Three Rolexes, two Tags, a Panerai and a bird's Cartier.

-[laughing] -[Carl] Suit Karen.

[Jamie] These are worth a third without their papers.

Not these. Phil Fingerarse said he'll take the lot at forty percent.

Bit of a coincidence Baghead Billy's just back from Bangkok.

-[all laughing] -These are real, dickhead.

-The ramraids were on the news. -You couldn't raid a biscuit tin.

Not me!

[whistle]

-What are you doing here? -Any chance of a chat?

[Mimi] Don't I know you from somewhere?

Am I in trouble?

Still playing football?

Bit of five a side. You?

-Get a game with the National police team. -Everyone thought you'd make it.

[chuckles] Yeah. Went for different kinds of trials instead.

I know I should have done something.

-[Carl] In the park. -Don't worry about it.

[Simon] Official policy is discourage have-a-go-heroes.

Gives us more paperwork if a robbery becomes a murder.

Like you said. Could've been my mam. You should have left him stuck there.

Yeah, well... He'll never be a father, but he's alive.

I never forget a bizzie's kipper.

Crown court two years ago.

You put Vinny the Red away for five years.

And I'm sure you and Paddy looked after his family.

Only right seeing as he kept his mouth shut.

Buzzing you asked mate. Just... you know...

Soon as I get the cartilage fixed, I'll definitely give you a call.

Be good to play for a proper team again.

-He's pressing charges. -For what?

Said I pulled his legs down on the spike. Deliberately.

-[Simon] My fault he can't have kids. -Bollocks.

Agreed. But if this goes the wrong way I could go to jail.

On some smackhead's say-so?

I've had something similar before...

I know it's hardly second nature,

but I could do with a witness.

[Simon] Or are you going to turn away again?

I don't think you understand.

You know what?

I really do.

Having a laugh? Gonna play football with a dibble...?

[Jamie] Need a lift?

-I'm not going far. -[Jamie] It's alright Billy, get in.

I've got to go and see the florist.

I've got a few knock-off dresses, need you to choose one for Mimi.

It'll just take a minute...

Maybe later mate.

[upbeat music]

[Jamie] Grab him!

[Jamie] Fuck's sake! What's up with you?

-Sorry. -[Jamie] You OK?

[Jamie] Get in.

[muffled] Hang on Tony!

Fucking hell...

Right. Get in here and bend over you worthless piece of shi...

Tony doesn't mind?

Won't be long.

Bit kinky. Much demand?

You've no idea.

I just almost ran our Shane over.

He's in bits.

Guilty about fucking your mum's relationship

so you want to fix your brother's?

I don't need some headcase going under when we're out grafting.

Again. All about you.

The law according to Jamie Maguire.

Not just about me if some ex brass is taking the piss out of my family.

[sighs] Please leave.

Tell me I'm wrong...

Does he know?

-Did it get a bit messy with some punter? -[laughs]

Are you keeping it?

[Jamie puffing]

No wonder you want out.

-It was over long before this. -He thinks you're giving it another go.

Yeah? If we do it's because we want to.

[knocking on door]

When will you learn?

[Kelly] You can't make the world fit into the box you want.

And every time you force it,

it keeps straining to spring back into the shape it was meant to be.

Try not to hurt him too much.

[sighs]

Eight fifty, nine, nine fifty, two grand...

[Mimi] Now add that to what he's already give you.

Making me give in and let Billy think I'm a pushover.

He thinks he did good though?

-Three? -Five.

-Three and a half? -You can't kid a kidder. Four and a half.

My last offer... four grand?

[Billy laughing]

-I'm grateful Ches. -Got my reputation to think of.

He's trying to prove himself.

Jackson said he was a real trier at school.

That's what we called the divvies in woodwork.

-Don't be so sensitive Mimi. -[Aidan] He didn't even get that.

Don't think I haven't noticed all the sniggering behind our backs.

-You're being paranoid. -[Mimi] Yeah?

Hardly been inundated with offers to help, have we?

-I helped with your vows. -[Mimi] Wit woo.

-Nobody's actually said they're pleased for us...

To be honest...

A few of us aren't sure you're doing the right thing.

Mimi always knows her own mind.

Too right Ches.

We'll see how dubious everyone is when they're necking free champagne.

All night?

That dibble deserves all he gets.

Think they can go round slapping who they like.

[indistinct chatter]

Is that our Daz?

[indistinct chatter]

Daz!

[laughing]

How much? I'll buy it off you! Daz!

Daz!

-He'll get all in Cash for Stash him. -[Carl] You alright?

How about that for gratitude?

[Billy] Is there a price on the '45 Phantom convertible

-without a chauffeur? -Let's go.

What's the postcode got to do with it?

[Billy] You stick your shit car up your arse.

That's the spirit.

-Now... about that chat? -[screaming]

Piss-taking over sunshine.

You pack whatever possessions you've accumulated in your tender years...

and you fuck off as far from our mum as possible.

-What about Mimi? -What about her?

She's recovered from bigger set backs than some scrote

-doing a midnight flit. -That's right.

You get in touch and tell you had second thoughts.

You've changed your mind, it wasn't meant to be, make up whatever...

but if I ever see you around here again...

I'll let this pit bull get medieval on your arse.

[sniffing]

At least it's working.

It's mint. Might get one on my next upgrade.

-Thought you just got a new phone? -Thirty quid.

They're one fifty in the shop, contract only.

-Who off? -Daz Mitchell.

You shouldn't even know him.

It's alright for you to shag his sister.

-[Frank] And a lovely girl she is too. -Hypocrite.

[Frank blowing]

-Where's he even getting thirty quid? -You should be praising his initiative.

Should be on a curfew.

That's right. 24/7. Thought Police.

Tight rein does them no favours round here.

Just enough slack to stretch to Strangeways?

Social worker in the area... is you new mate getting under your skin?

-Behave. -[Frank] No, no. Careful Carl.

Y'know, enemy within. Cameron's Stasi...

-You should lay off the weed. -It's got nothing to...

-[Frank] It's... -[electronic music on earphones]

Go on.

-It will pass you know? -What will?

-[Frank] Thinking you're better. -I'm going for a run.

Not think there was plenty of times when I'd had enough of the gaff?

I was a young man once, sick of this place.

But we... Gallaghers... thrive in this environment. Darwinian.

We're naturals when it comes to playing the game. Their game...

So how come everyone else got off? Fiona, Lip...?

Monica's snide little genes blagged it to the front with them...

Truth be told, they're not made for it the same way.

You and me...

You know... peas in a pod.

[Frank] Like your new bird said,

there's more of me in you than the others.

You're even better than I ever was.

Running errands for Jamie, plenty of readies.

[Frank] You're a proper success story.

You can run but you can't hide...

[slams door]

[sighs]

[electronic music on earphones]

-[Simon] Someone help!

Gallagher. Someone give me a hand!

Someone. Gallagher.

Been a while since we last ate as a family.

Sardine and tomato paste butties

and Greggs custard slices for Cilla's birthday.

A proper meal. Conversation. We still need to clear the air.

And you need some decent scran inside you. Nerves, excitement, whatever it is...

Aids? [gasps]

[rushing steps]

Where's Kelly?

Probably getting rifled off a six foot stud with an eight inch length.

Stop winding him up!

I don't want him wasting away before we get hitched.

No one be late.

[door closes]

-Has he packed? -Mam's had us too busy.

Be around for her once he's gone. She's gonna need looking after.

Still say we cut him up!

I used to melt in Monica's eyes,

but these...

[laughing]

It better not turn all to mush...

[Frank mumbles] They'll sort that out.

[chuckles] No wonder I'm mad for Carl.

He learnt his lyrics from a master craftsman.

[laughing]

Oh, eh up, here he is. Careful what you say...

Eh, I've got someone to look after me anyway.

-It was for football! -Have you seen this?

[Jamie] Another busy fucker sticking their nose in.

Some pensioner's just naused a brothel on Whalley Lane.

It stopped people traffickers. There were thirteen year old girls here!

See! Priorities... messed up. Converting to the dark side already.

Don't be stupid!

-Got to earn a living somehow. -Jamie. We're late.

So are we.

Don't know what the rush is. KFC's twenty four seven.

-Cheers, everyone. -[all] Cheers!

[oven alarm ringing]

Micky, hand...

Why haven't you packed yet?

[corkscrew clatters]

[Mimi] Can't beat a pan of scouse.

Sprouts, Kell?

Billy's not been eating properly.

Laying on the wedding of the year's taking its toll.

I love you.

[indistinct chatter]

-[flushing toilet] -[door opening]

I don't need it.

[Jamie] Looks like someone's had a few beers.

If you want to get rid of me, you'll have to do it your way.

[sobbing]

[Mimi] I've got something I need to say...

I know you don't want this to happen...

Nice to see no one's denying it. Appreciate the honesty.

[Mimi] So...

in case anyone gets a bit brave

when it's 'speak now or forever hold your peace...'

I'm gonna prove I know what I'm doing.

What was always my dream?

When you were kids, where was my dream place to live?

Aigburth?

By the sea.

The final piece in my jigsaw of life.

Keep me happy til the day I die.

[siren]

[sighs]

[Mimi] Three months ago your father rang me.

Where is he?

[Mimi] Working with some main players out of Bangkok.

Exporting all over the world.

Hey. We could visit.

[Shane] A holiday.

You said you've always fancied Thailand...?

Lovely.

[Mimi] This is his six bedroom house. On the beach.

Four staff. Chauffeur driven Merc. He asked me to join him.

[Mimi] He asked me to join him. Told me he'd do anything.

Totally new man, begged me.

Said none of it mattered without me.

Like a lottery win... Except.

[Mimi] I told him it's not what I wanted.

I don't believe you.

First class. Manchester to Bangkok.

[chuckles] This was before Billy turned up.

That's the point.

If I know that I don't want that luxury and comfort for the rest of my days

credit me with enough intelligence to know what I do want now?

We are doing this anyway.

[Mimi] But you're my family.

You're the people I want to spend the rest of my life among.

[Mimi] Your approval counts more than I think you know.

It won't be complete without you behind us.

[Mimi] If you really love me, please give us your blessing...

Fine.

You'll always be my little star.

Even Cilla couldn't knock you off that pedestal...

Never feel threatened.

But I'd be the proudest mum in the world if you'd agree to give me away.

[sobbing]

Eh.

[Micky sobs]

-To Mimi and Billy... -[all] Mimi and Billy.

[woman] Keep away! Ah! -[glass smashes]

-[woman] get off you dickhead. -[man]Get here you slag.

I'll smash your head in...

-[woman] Ah! -[siren]

[indistinct chatter]

[chatter]

[blowing]

[Frank] We... Gallaghers... thrive in this environment.

-[Frank] Darwinian. -[blowing]

[Frank] You and me... peas in a pod.

-Simon! -Nice timing.

-You come to console me? -I'll say what I saw.

Once it made the news they get a bit keen for a scapegoat.

I don't get you.

With my previous, suspension's the easy option.

Nothing I can do?

Did it take you this long to grow a pair?

We are fucked.

He says he's a thirty four waist

but I don't reckon he's seen his bollocks since they dropped.

There you go... "Dad."

Finished?

Got a couple of spares for the derby on Saturday

Should batter them.

-He still seems wary. -Micky freaking him out won't help.

[Jamie] Fiance's still off his food.

[sighs] He must have lost a stone with all this pressure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Carl...

-[Chesney] No wires? -Behave!

[Chesney] Laters.

-Hope you don't mind me asking... -Go on.

My mates'd crumble anyway... bit young...

I'm not saying you're old, it's just...

you've got more about you than most people here.

What are you on about?

Will you be my best man?

Least you've got your appetite back.

-I'm hungry for you. -[laughing]

We've got a bit of business to attend to.

Could use another set of hands.

You're family now.

Bit of bonding... do you good.

[Billy grunting]

What's the business?

-You are. -[Jamie] No point in hanging round.

-[thud] -Agh! What the fuck's that?

Steds. Time to exercise those demons.

Mild ones. Stop your whining.

We've only got a week.

Mam doesn't want you looking like a crackhead at the wedding.

[laughing] Come on champ

Hello... Needed to swerve predators for a few million aeons ago?

Hardly.

Quick enough to catch a dodo?

Think KFC, Nando's all about...?

Civilisation mate.

-How's he doing? -Who runs around here anyway?

Having it a bit lively from the odd lot. Maybe...

I'm looking after myself, proper.

Oh well... ehh! Here she is! [laughing]

About time you two settled down.

Ignoring your texts?

We need to talk properly. Tonight.

Oh he's here now.

[Karen] Yeah.

-[Karen] Got it. -[phone beeps]

-[paper rustles] -Lucky day Carl.

[Karen] Collect that for Jamie? Be the easiest monkey you've ever earnt.

Tell him I'm passing.

I don't think you've got a choice.

No offence, that's exactly what I've got.

-Oh aye...? -[Frank] I'll go.

Feel free to stay with him if you want, but I'm calling it a day.

-Who you talking to? -Oh!

[laughing] As the man said...

Old... Young... All the rage round here. Eh Mimi?

Do one you tramp.

[cheering on TV]

[presenter on TV]

[Shane] No way, that can't be his.

No, I'm not having that, how could you? Where would you fucking put it?

[Shane] Hanging...

[Kelly] I'm pregnant.

I'm with child.

Fat fuck shouldn't have kids.

Somebody else's.

What you say?

I'm going to have a baby. I'm sorry.

[Shane] Who?

One of your regulars?

Could be a one-off.

Did you forget to take your tablets?

Nothing's a hundred percent.

But the pill and a condom, it makes the chances minute.

I'll buy a lottery ticket. See if the luck continues.

It wasn't on purpose!

[sighs, grunts]

[Kelly] I hate hurting you.

Maybe it's what we need.

-Somebody else's baby? -A family.

No one needs to know it's not mine.

Everyone knows you're a jaffa. They'll slaughter you.

-Some new medical discovery. -Jesus Shane!

Call me a slag, slap me, make some fucking sense!

We'll know.

Kel, I don't care what anyone says.

-I'm losing all respect for you. -Well you'll find it again.

-This can't go on. -I can't go on. Without you.

[Kelly] Yes you can.

Kelly.

I couldn't live without you

I don't know what I'd do...

Please Shane. Don't go there.

You'll learn to love me again.

I know you will.

["Town Called Malice" playing]

[bell rings]

♪ Better stop dreaming of the quiet life ♪

♪ 'Cause it's the one we'll never know...♪

[Micky] Come on, Billy! Go on!

♪ 'Cause those rosy days are few... ♪

[shouting]

♪ The things you've never done ♪

♪ 'Cause time is short and life is cruel But it's up to us to change ♪

♪ This town called malice ♪

♪ Rows and rows of disused milk stand dying in the dairy yard ♪

[Micky] Go on Billy!

[breathing heavily] Fuck!

[music fades out]

You said if I beat you, we can go home.

-What's up with you? -No more...

-I just want to go. -Come on Champ.

I just wanna go home.

[Jamie] Oh!

-What do you reckon? -[Micky] Not bad.

Think he's ready?

Welcome to the family.

Eh. He wouldn't have put me down that easy...

It's a pathetic excuse for ordinary nobheads going bananas away

from the missus and the uprights, sniffing charlie and shagging brass...

Pitiful existence.

You not get asked on the stag-do?

[electronic music]

[Micky laughing]

[Micky] Hen-pecked already.

I tell you what, he's a braver man than me taking her on.

Yeah, it's OK, but it doesn't feel right if you're not having one.

I had one the first time round.

Last thing I need's a hangover on my special day.

Chesney's on his way.

Enjoy yourself. I'm alright. Don't worry.

OK then. Right, bye.

[Cilla cooing]

Sure you're OK?

Course I am.

[chuckles]

Do you want one of mammy's stories?

[door closes]

About a princess who waited half her life

to find a real prince charming?

[knocking]

Keep your fucking hat on.

[knocking continues]

-Mimi Maguire? -What's it to you?

I'm arresting you for wilful neglect of your duties as the hen...

on the orders of your friends and neighbours...

You didn't think you'd get away with it that easy?

[all cheering]

[sensual music]

[all continue cheering]

[all screaming]

[laughing]

[electronic music]

What are you playing at?

No harm in giving him one final test.

He's been on the steds over a week,

we'll be lucky if he doesn't smash this gaff up

and try and rape half the birds here!

Want to see how committed he really is.

-No complaints. -Mum's the word eh...

[music fades out]

Fuck!

[Aidan] Carl...?

[Aiden] How are you supposed to fasten...?

[Carl singing]

[wedding bells]

[indistinct chatter]

[chatter]

[cheerful wedding music]

[horse neighs]

[Minister] Dearly beloved.

We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of William and Katherine.

Do you, Katherine Mimi Harmonica Joy Maguire,

take William Tutton to be your husband.

I do.

[Minister] If anyone knows of any lawful impediment...

please speak now or forever hold your peace.

[coughing]

You've taught me, nurtured me, helped me to grow and mature.

I will respect and treasure you with every atom of my being.

Your precious family is now my own

and I embrace them into my world.

Jamie, Shane...

...walk on together.

I pledge to never try to control you.

[Mimi] To never smother you.

Trust and love will ensure we walk on our natural paths

wherever they lead us.

You may now kiss the bride.

[all cheering]

Go on son!

[camera clicks]

[cheering]

[door closes]

I am sorry.

I know.

I won't stop you anymore.

Thank you.

[chatter]

[camera clicks]

[wedding bells]

-[all cheering] -[camera clicks]

[all cheering]

[camera clicks]

Billy and Mimi knew they'd face criticism,

they knew people'd disapprove,

even those closest to them...

[all booing]

Regardless of this, they've let their love lead them.

They were strong to stand up for what they believed in.

You see they've set an example.

They've proved you find your direction when you're true to yourself.

[Carl] Today's a very special day.

And I'm proud in more ways than you could know.

Thanks for making me your best man.

[cheering and applause]

[Carl] Right, a toast!

To Billy and Mimi Tutton. The bride and groom!

[all cheering]

["Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" playing]

[Carl] Moving on. It's difficult when it means leaving people behind.

It's a free bar!

[Carl] Moving on's even more difficult

when the life you choose is something so unusual.

So different to what you know.

You might as well have dropped in from another planet.

♪ He's not too fancy But his line is pretty clean ♪

♪ He ain't no drag Papa's got a brand new bag ♪

♪ He's doing the Jerk He's doing the Fly ♪

♪ Don't play him cheap 'Cause you know he ain't shy ♪

♪ He's doing the Monkey The Mashed Potatoes ♪

♪ Jump back Jack See you later alligator ♪

♪ Come here sister Papa's in the swing ♪

♪ He ain't too hip now But I can dig that new breed babe ♪

♪ He ain't no drag He's got a brand new bag ♪

♪ Oh papa! He's doing the Jerk Papa, he's doing the Jerk ♪

♪ He's doing the twist, just like this ♪

♪ He's doing the Fly Every day and every night ♪

[all cheering]

[Carl] I'm not waiting around to be discovered.

But what else am I gonna do?

[laughing] Start a riot?

[laughing]

[sobbing]

[outro music]

[sighs]

Is that it?