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1
00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:06,581
-[tapping]
-[intro music]
2
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:11,261
Anyone watching, thinking we know fuck all
about knowing fuck all about owt,
3
00:00:11,341 --> 00:00:13,461
needs to watch their back.
[cries out]
4
00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:16,100
So, you've had your Labour,
reclassifying skunk,
5
00:00:16,181 --> 00:00:18,341
sending prices sky high,
6
00:00:18,421 --> 00:00:22,300
literally, literally taking the grass
from its own roots.
7
00:00:22,381 --> 00:00:25,061
And now you've got your con-dem-nation,
8
00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:28,460
Liberals noshing Tories
like altar boys picking dimps up.
9
00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:32,301
Have we had
a national fucking stroke or what?
10
00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:36,381
Is revolution a word or was it never?
11
00:00:36,461 --> 00:00:38,701
Anybody watching, needs to know
12
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:41,981
we cope better than average
with irony in Chatsworth.
13
00:00:42,061 --> 00:00:45,461
Well, for fuck's sake,
we live in Manchester
14
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:48,220
and they charge us for water!
15
00:00:48,301 --> 00:00:53,540
I wandered lonely as a clown,
necking mushrooms rarely found,
16
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:56,741
this green and pleasant land
in ancient times...
17
00:00:56,821 --> 00:00:59,341
yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak!
18
00:00:59,421 --> 00:01:02,620
It's not theirs anymore.
19
00:01:02,701 --> 00:01:05,981
-This is our England now.
-[cheering]
20
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:07,621
Party!
21
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:11,101
[intro music]
22
00:01:11,181 --> 00:01:12,780
[intro music fades away]
23
00:01:18,301 --> 00:01:21,101
[Frank] Cogito ergo sum.
24
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,221
Pardon my French, well Latin, actually.
25
00:01:25,181 --> 00:01:29,181
The English is "I think therefore I am,"
26
00:01:29,261 --> 00:01:33,780
a phrase captured by some snail-chewer
called Rene Descartes.
27
00:01:35,901 --> 00:01:41,140
Essentially, it means that because
you're capable of logical thought,
28
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:43,220
you are aware of your existence.
29
00:01:45,621 --> 00:01:47,621
But by the same method,
30
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:51,621
you haven't got the foggiest
what's going on in my head,
31
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:55,741
so there's no real way
of knowing I definitely exist.
32
00:01:55,821 --> 00:01:58,621
I could be a figment
of your imagination,
33
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:03,500
me and everything,
you know, everyone in your world.
34
00:02:20,061 --> 00:02:21,661
[buzzing]
35
00:02:28,741 --> 00:02:29,661
[drumming]
36
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,021
[microwave beeps]
37
00:02:39,061 --> 00:02:40,941
["Starman" by David Bowie over stereo]
38
00:02:45,661 --> 00:02:46,741
[microwave stops]
39
00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:47,941
[window opens violently]
40
00:02:52,980 --> 00:02:54,260
[music stops]
41
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:57,980
[eerie music]
42
00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:25,820
[note sequence]
43
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:32,700
[note sequence]
44
00:03:38,861 --> 00:03:44,861
[note sequence]
45
00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:51,540
[bird chirping]
46
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:58,941
[note sequence]
47
00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,181
[loud low noise]
48
00:04:17,781 --> 00:04:19,740
[loud low noise increases]
49
00:04:22,461 --> 00:04:23,981
Fuck off!
50
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,261
[all talking indistinctly]
51
00:04:25,341 --> 00:04:26,861
What, a stag night?
52
00:04:26,941 --> 00:04:30,500
If I wanted an evening
of ritual humiliation, I'd stay at home.
53
00:04:30,581 --> 00:04:32,381
Are you sure you want
to go through with this wedding?
54
00:04:32,461 --> 00:04:35,101
You won't catch me getting married again.
55
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,940
I'm not going to stay
and have my private life dissected,
56
00:04:38,021 --> 00:04:40,500
and judged by the likes of you.
57
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,541
Same again, Jamie. My round, lads.
58
00:04:45,421 --> 00:04:47,661
Cos I don't know
59
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,701
how I can even begin
60
00:04:49,781 --> 00:04:54,581
to explain what it is that me
and Libby have got precisely.
61
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:55,661
[Carl] Er...
62
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:56,781
Try.
63
00:05:01,141 --> 00:05:02,740
Well, starters, we're in love.
64
00:05:02,821 --> 00:05:04,901
[all laugh]
65
00:05:04,981 --> 00:05:07,541
[all laugh]
66
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:10,021
Just because you've never
had the love of a good man!
67
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,701
[Mimi] Well, the only things Frank loves
come with a Government health warning.
68
00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:15,701
We're soulmates!
69
00:05:15,781 --> 00:05:18,021
[all laugh]
70
00:05:18,101 --> 00:05:19,620
[all laugh]
71
00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:21,701
Her soul, my soul.
72
00:05:21,781 --> 00:05:22,620
Arseholes!
73
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:25,541
-[Micky] Well said, sweet pea.
-[Frank] I don't need a ring on me finger
74
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,740
or a blessing from fuck knows who,
but she does.
75
00:05:27,821 --> 00:05:29,221
She's happy, I'm happy.
76
00:05:29,301 --> 00:05:30,661
[all laugh]
77
00:05:30,740 --> 00:05:33,421
Okay, he's not perfect,
but who the bloody hell is?
78
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,701
I'm not far off.
A few minor blemishes but--
79
00:05:35,781 --> 00:05:37,500
This is no time for jokes!
80
00:05:37,581 --> 00:05:38,500
Who's joking?
81
00:05:38,581 --> 00:05:42,101
Any wonder she's been on the shelf
as long as she has with that attitude?
82
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:45,221
When I were her age, men were
falling over themselves to get to me.
83
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:47,701
[Kelly] Falling over
their fuckin' guide dogs.
84
00:05:52,661 --> 00:05:54,180
We were just pulling your leg.
85
00:05:54,261 --> 00:05:55,981
[Mimi] That's what I was just saying.
86
00:05:56,060 --> 00:05:57,821
Frank's altered
since they've been together.
87
00:05:57,901 --> 00:06:00,060
Often hear him in the pub
talking about you.
88
00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:02,541
[Kelly] People saying
they've never seen him so happy.
89
00:06:04,341 --> 00:06:08,581
The cause of all the trouble
in all the world
90
00:06:08,661 --> 00:06:10,541
since the dawn of time,
91
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:15,461
can be traced right back
via one singular route to...
92
00:06:16,461 --> 00:06:17,620
the moustache!
93
00:06:17,701 --> 00:06:21,421
Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Mandelson...
94
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:22,861
Down you go!
95
00:06:24,461 --> 00:06:25,940
[gasps in horror]
96
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:27,740
Freddie Mercury!
97
00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:33,421
I'm not stupid.
98
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:38,740
I'm aware of his shortcomings,
and I'm going into this with my eyes open.
99
00:06:40,981 --> 00:06:43,341
Well, if only you'd set your sights
a little higher.
100
00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:49,581
And the cupboard was bare.
Right, girls, pub.
101
00:06:49,661 --> 00:06:51,740
[Libby] I'll be over
as soon as Liam shows.
102
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,500
Should've asked Mickey
to keep an eye on her. He's got Cilla.
103
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:57,221
Just as easy to look
after two kids as it is one.
104
00:06:57,301 --> 00:06:58,620
How the fuck would you know?
105
00:06:59,781 --> 00:07:02,740
You're sticking with the name then?
Cilla. Are you a fan?
106
00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:06,901
-"Step Inside Love" was a great song.
-Is it a Liverpoodlian thing?
107
00:07:06,981 --> 00:07:08,940
[Patty] But I always preferred Lulu.
108
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:10,781
That thing she did with her accent.
109
00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:14,901
Scottish one minute,
English the next. Such talent!
110
00:07:18,101 --> 00:07:20,541
It's got nothing to do
with being Scouse, Lillian,
111
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:24,581
and everything to do with the birth
being one fuck of a Surprise Surprise.
112
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:25,901
Cilla Maguire, then?
113
00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:29,301
-Stop fishing.
-Come on, Mimi, who's the daddy?
114
00:07:29,380 --> 00:07:32,461
You really do want
your face rearranging, don't you?
115
00:07:32,541 --> 00:07:33,380
Hmph.
116
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,101
Who could blame her? Later, Libs.
117
00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:48,541
Hiya, Avril.
118
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,820
Is everything all right?
119
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:53,781
[door opens]
120
00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,421
Letitia!
121
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,541
-Letitia!
-[music over headphones]
122
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,180
Your father's here!
123
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:02,260
He's at football.
124
00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:04,421
Goalie got a groin strain,
match was cancelled.
125
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,861
Why didn't you get changed?
126
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,141
If your father finds out I've sent you
to private school he'll kill me!
127
00:08:09,221 --> 00:08:11,060
I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up!
128
00:08:11,141 --> 00:08:14,221
-Once you're in Uni', it's all over.
-I might not even get into Uni'.
129
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:15,981
You better bloody had.
130
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,581
The amount I've spent
sending you to that place.
131
00:08:19,861 --> 00:08:21,101
I want the lot.
132
00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:24,901
GCSEs, A-Levels and a first class degree.
133
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:25,820
[door opens]
134
00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:31,421
Liam's asked if she can give him a hand
with his homework again.
135
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,180
Should bring him in here.
136
00:08:33,261 --> 00:08:35,700
He doesn't like anyone
knowing he's struggling.
137
00:08:41,781 --> 00:08:42,621
[Jackson] Uh...
138
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,301
-[Jackson groans]
-[Avril moans]
139
00:08:44,381 --> 00:08:45,261
Put the lock on.
140
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:51,541
Ah!
141
00:08:54,061 --> 00:08:55,621
[Avril] This... do ya?
142
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,941
-[Jackson] Mm! Yes!
-[Avril] Ah!
143
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,501
Ah! Ah-ha!
[chuckling]
144
00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:05,100
Too soon! Too soon!
145
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:09,141
-You like it like that, eh?
-Yeah!
146
00:09:10,061 --> 00:09:12,741
-[Jackson] You want a bit of that?
-Yeah!
147
00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:16,781
[Avril] Agh!
148
00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:20,340
Yeah!
149
00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:23,581
[both moan]
150
00:09:23,661 --> 00:09:24,901
[Avril] Aghh!
151
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:36,980
[Micky] Go to mummy.
152
00:09:37,061 --> 00:09:39,141
Look after the baby
a bit longer will you, son?
153
00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:42,501
[Cilla babbling]
154
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:47,860
Hiya, Stevie.
155
00:09:47,941 --> 00:09:50,421
I don't know
if you remember me, but... [tuts]
156
00:09:50,501 --> 00:09:51,340
Mimi?
157
00:09:51,421 --> 00:09:55,741
Phil, I know this sounds weird,
and believe me, all I'm after is answers.
158
00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:57,460
Would it be possible to talk inside?
159
00:09:57,541 --> 00:09:59,340
I don't think the wife'd be too impressed.
160
00:09:59,421 --> 00:10:03,061
What I need to know is
if you can remember when we...
161
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,100
got together.
162
00:10:05,181 --> 00:10:07,141
-I need you to take a blood test.
-Shit!
163
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,781
You've not got the AIDS, have you?
164
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,980
-Definitely August?
-Look, I was pissed.
165
00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:14,061
-To see if you're me child's father.
-No chance of that, Mimi.
166
00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:16,220
I had the snip 20 years ago.
167
00:10:16,301 --> 00:10:18,581
It was a one night stand
and I'm cool with that.
168
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,141
What was a one night stand?
169
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,141
Shit!
170
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,301
It's not what you think!
171
00:10:22,381 --> 00:10:24,701
What the fuck
would you know about what I think?
172
00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:29,421
She's out tonight.
[groans] Uhh!
173
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:30,781
Any chance of a rematch?
174
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:32,340
-I took advantage, honest--
-Oh!
175
00:10:32,421 --> 00:10:34,100
-[Mimi] Agh!
-[Chrissy grunts]
176
00:10:34,181 --> 00:10:36,100
[Mimi screams]
177
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:38,821
You bitch!
178
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:40,541
You've ruined everything!
179
00:10:40,621 --> 00:10:41,460
Mimi?
180
00:10:45,381 --> 00:10:47,021
Can I see your dad, please, Andy?
181
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,061
Sure.
182
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,340
I'm off the pub. Planning the wedding.
183
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,581
I'm so excited, I can't tell you.
184
00:11:13,661 --> 00:11:14,941
We're having ice sculptures.
185
00:11:15,021 --> 00:11:17,141
Famous Mancunians in literature.
186
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:18,181
[door knocks]
187
00:11:22,621 --> 00:11:24,261
I'm sorry to disturb you.
188
00:11:24,340 --> 00:11:27,740
Is it possible to speak
to Mr Gallagher, please?
189
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,860
Vernon Francis Gallagher?
190
00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:31,740
I'm afraid he's not in at the moment.
191
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:34,941
I'm his fiancée, can I help you?
192
00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:42,381
It's about his daughter,
Deborah Gallagher.
193
00:11:46,301 --> 00:11:48,661
[Jamie] So what's all this about?
194
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,541
[Karen] You might be missing Connor.
195
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,740
I know he's been missing you.
196
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:55,261
Thought you might want to see him.
197
00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:58,021
So you and Joe?
198
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:00,220
This is about me and you.
199
00:12:02,141 --> 00:12:04,220
Joe told me Connor was his.
200
00:12:04,301 --> 00:12:05,941
Showed me the DNA results.
201
00:12:06,021 --> 00:12:07,421
Well he called your bluff.
202
00:12:07,501 --> 00:12:10,141
And if you'd have opened the envelope
you'd have seen it was a gas bill.
203
00:12:12,141 --> 00:12:13,901
What's going on?
204
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,821
I said I'd kill him and I meant it,
so why would he agree to this?
205
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,901
I haven't got time for this.
Offer's on the table.
206
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:21,661
Call me when you're thinking straight.
207
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:25,141
Ha! You're dumping Connor.
He's found out Connor's mine.
208
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:27,181
Fucking cuckoo in the nest
and he wants rid.
209
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:30,541
Wants to play happy families,
have his own kids!
210
00:12:30,621 --> 00:12:32,821
Send you to sweet talk me
so you can offload?
211
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:33,740
Karen!
212
00:12:40,941 --> 00:12:42,501
-[Jamie] I said--
-[Karen] Jamie!
213
00:12:42,581 --> 00:12:45,021
I'd kill you if I ever saw you again.
[slamming]
214
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,141
[Karen] It's not him!
215
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:47,701
[Jamie grunts]
216
00:12:47,781 --> 00:12:49,220
[Karen] It's not him!
217
00:12:56,501 --> 00:13:00,021
Oh, it's not another fucking
Dr Who convention, is it, Lillian?
218
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,421
No, why?
219
00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,021
It's just...
220
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,701
after tickets.
221
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,501
Oh! Can't get a minute's peace,
what is it?
222
00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:12,701
I'm sorry.
223
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,460
I'm so, so sorry.
224
00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:19,701
All I'm after is a quiet fucking pint
with the lads, and in she walks.
225
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:22,821
It's Debbie.
226
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,661
She's been killed in Afghanistan.
227
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,541
[ominous music]
228
00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:52,141
[door opens]
229
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,141
Fucking rag-heads.
230
00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,661
If you need anything, Frank.
231
00:13:59,661 --> 00:14:02,781
You could chuck us 40 fags
until the giro hits my account.
232
00:14:06,821 --> 00:14:08,980
Just need to anaesthetise.
233
00:14:09,061 --> 00:14:09,941
Cheers.
234
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,181
-No credit!
-Leave it!
235
00:14:13,261 --> 00:14:15,661
You're haemorrhaging profit left,
right and centre, and this is why.
236
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:16,701
He's just lost his daughter.
237
00:14:16,781 --> 00:14:19,421
And our family will lose this shop
if you carry on like this.
238
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:21,340
-[Sita] Name?
-Frank Gallagher.
239
00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:25,181
[Sita] Frank "£ 32.85 outstanding
on your slate" Gallagher.
240
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:26,740
Frank "my daughter died
241
00:14:26,821 --> 00:14:29,581
defending Queen and country
for the likes of you" Gallagher
242
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,661
got a better ring to it. But, yeah.
243
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,141
[Chesney] You're bang out of order, Sita.
244
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,541
[Carl] You know what, Ches?
Don't even worry about it, mate.
245
00:14:41,661 --> 00:14:43,340
I'll take over here.
246
00:14:43,421 --> 00:14:44,261
[Libby] I'm fine.
247
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:46,581
I know for a fact
you haven't slept a wink.
248
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:48,980
Looking after Liam, Carl, Frank.
249
00:14:50,381 --> 00:14:52,100
Let me look after you.
250
00:14:56,301 --> 00:14:58,500
-Beans on toast do you?
-We've nothing in.
251
00:14:58,581 --> 00:15:01,181
-[Carl] I'm not that hungry.
-[closes kitchen drawer]
252
00:15:01,261 --> 00:15:04,100
You've not had any breakfast,
you've got to eat something.
253
00:15:04,181 --> 00:15:06,261
[Libby] I'll go round the shop. Liam?
254
00:15:07,701 --> 00:15:10,340
[Carl cries]
255
00:15:23,901 --> 00:15:26,581
It's okay, your Mum's here.
256
00:15:26,661 --> 00:15:28,220
[steps on stairs]
257
00:15:28,301 --> 00:15:29,220
[Monica] Liam...
258
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:31,301
Carl.
259
00:15:31,381 --> 00:15:33,301
[exhales] Monica?
260
00:15:33,381 --> 00:15:36,460
Oh, oh, oh!
261
00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:41,421
[Monica dramatically]
Frank, our little girl.
262
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:45,181
Don't worry. I'm here now.
263
00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,860
I don't know what came over me.
264
00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:49,941
I'm not the fainting type.
265
00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:51,061
[Libby] It's the shock.
266
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:52,860
You've suffered a terrible loss.
267
00:15:52,941 --> 00:15:55,301
And you're God knows
how many months up the spout.
268
00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:56,980
My children need me.
269
00:15:57,821 --> 00:15:59,581
You need me.
270
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,941
Could you give us
a few moments in private?
271
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:09,860
[Libby] Oh...
272
00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,980
Of course.
273
00:16:12,061 --> 00:16:13,500
Sorry.
274
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:20,340
Have you heard from Carl?
275
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,421
Texted him. Not heard back yet,
I think he's best left.
276
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:29,141
-What are you doing here?
-Saving you from yourself.
277
00:16:30,261 --> 00:16:34,021
I'd appreciate it if you didn't serve him
with alcohol again.
278
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:34,980
Bird?
279
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,301
Cousin.
280
00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:39,141
Sita, I told grandad,
I don't need his help.
281
00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,061
So you reject his help,
but accept his money?
282
00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:42,261
Back off!
283
00:16:42,340 --> 00:16:45,941
As soon as you prove you can behave
like the good Muslim boy I know you to be,
284
00:16:46,021 --> 00:16:46,901
I will.
285
00:16:53,941 --> 00:16:54,901
Hum.
286
00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,940
I'll top and tail with Mum.
Frank can take the couch.
287
00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:08,940
-Can't have you cramped in your condition.
-Six weeks to go. I can't wait.
288
00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:12,261
-A little bundle of love.
-Oh, that big bundle of cash!
289
00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:15,461
I'm a surrogate for a gay couple in Oldham
who've got everything
290
00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:17,981
they could possibly want, bar kids.
291
00:17:18,061 --> 00:17:19,581
You're going to give it away?
292
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:23,140
Oh no, I get 18K. For him. Ricky Martin.
293
00:17:23,221 --> 00:17:25,660
I haven't formed an emotional attachment.
294
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:27,581
You got kids?
295
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,021
-The timing was never right.
-You didn't find a man
296
00:17:30,101 --> 00:17:32,301
'til Mother Nature withdrew her favours.
297
00:17:32,381 --> 00:17:34,221
Aw! Career woman?
298
00:17:34,301 --> 00:17:36,541
-Librarian.
-Hardly worth it, was it?
299
00:17:38,301 --> 00:17:39,261
Where did you meet?
300
00:17:40,541 --> 00:17:43,420
It was in the poetry section,
reading Byron,
301
00:17:43,501 --> 00:17:44,341
Wordsworth,
302
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:47,621
-"I wandered lonely as a cloud."
-In a cloud if I know Frank.
303
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:50,461
-We had an immediate attraction.
-Oh yeah, we had one of them.
304
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:53,420
I got knocked up in the gents,
in the Wigan Casino all-nighter.
305
00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:55,261
That's where we made little Fifi.
306
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:56,180
Fiona.
307
00:17:57,501 --> 00:17:58,900
Oh!
308
00:17:58,981 --> 00:18:00,701
[Libby]
It's supposed to be in three weeks.
309
00:18:00,781 --> 00:18:02,541
I really don't see how we can go ahead.
310
00:18:02,621 --> 00:18:06,501
Oh, but it's exactly
what Debbie would have wanted.
311
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:10,221
New beginnings. Oh, you must go ahead.
312
00:18:10,301 --> 00:18:13,621
-I don't think Frank...
-I know how to get around Frank.
313
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:15,261
You leave him to me.
314
00:18:27,301 --> 00:18:28,341
Usual, Monica?
315
00:18:30,461 --> 00:18:32,101
What, in my state?
316
00:18:33,141 --> 00:18:33,981
Just a single.
317
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:38,821
[Monica] Oh!
318
00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:41,940
Debbie would have loved that.
319
00:18:42,021 --> 00:18:45,341
Except for the flowers.
She weren't big on lilies.
320
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:46,461
On the house.
321
00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:48,261
Sorry for your loss.
322
00:18:48,341 --> 00:18:49,301
Thanks, Jamie.
323
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:54,501
[exhales]
324
00:18:59,341 --> 00:19:00,341
To Debbie.
325
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:03,940
[mumbles]
326
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:16,061
[sobbing] It's... our little girl.
327
00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:19,021
It's our Debbie.
328
00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:22,660
Please, Frank... [sobbing] don't!
329
00:19:23,741 --> 00:19:24,741
We had a whip-round.
330
00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:27,741
The wake's on us. Food, booze...
331
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:31,541
Oh, man, that's such a comfort.
332
00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:37,221
Debbie wouldn't have wanted this.
333
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,180
All these miserable faces.
334
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,940
Let's celebrate her life, eh?
335
00:19:45,021 --> 00:19:46,221
[crying]
336
00:19:47,821 --> 00:19:49,221
Drinks for everyone.
337
00:19:49,301 --> 00:19:50,180
[all cheering]
338
00:19:50,261 --> 00:19:54,180
A toast. For Debbie.
339
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,141
It's not like we can't afford it.
340
00:19:56,221 --> 00:19:58,900
I've got some cash coming my way.
341
00:20:00,461 --> 00:20:01,940
[utensil clinks]
342
00:20:05,501 --> 00:20:07,700
Cilla's out like a light.
[snores]
343
00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:13,341
Okay?
344
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:16,461
Feel like shit.
345
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,141
Exhausted with it all.
346
00:20:19,221 --> 00:20:20,501
Mam, don't be embarrassed.
347
00:20:20,581 --> 00:20:24,700
When me and your dad separated
I did anything and everything
348
00:20:24,781 --> 00:20:26,940
to get some sense of self-worth.
349
00:20:27,021 --> 00:20:29,581
To prove to myself that I was still...
350
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,061
attractive,
351
00:20:31,141 --> 00:20:32,141
desirable.
352
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:38,301
Well I think you're lovely.
353
00:20:39,461 --> 00:20:41,420
Even in the light.
354
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,940
A beauty all your own.
355
00:20:44,381 --> 00:20:45,940
-Do you think?
-Yeah.
356
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:49,741
And once you get past the accent and that,
357
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:52,981
you always reminded me
a bit of Dawn French.
358
00:20:53,061 --> 00:20:55,621
Fucking hell, Mickey,
she's twice the size of me!
359
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,261
But gorgeous.
360
00:20:57,341 --> 00:21:01,101
When Cilla asks me who her dad is
I want to be able to tell her.
361
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,420
I want to look her in the eye
and give her his name.
362
00:21:07,981 --> 00:21:09,700
Must think I'm some kind of slut.
363
00:21:11,741 --> 00:21:15,341
Mam,
I'm a twenty first century type of guy.
364
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:18,021
I've probably slept with more than that
on a busy weekend.
365
00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:20,021
You know, birds, obviously.
366
00:21:20,101 --> 00:21:21,261
Tits and stuff.
367
00:21:21,341 --> 00:21:22,541
Flange.
368
00:21:37,180 --> 00:21:40,900
Tell her Dad was the most handsome man
you'd ever met.
369
00:21:41,861 --> 00:21:44,420
That he was here on a fact-finding trip
from the States.
370
00:21:44,501 --> 00:21:47,261
Something to do with housing policy
371
00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:49,981
under a directive from "Baracks Obama."
372
00:21:50,981 --> 00:21:53,261
And you fell for his manly charms.
373
00:21:53,341 --> 00:21:57,061
The way his muscles strained against
the pure white cotton of his shirt.
374
00:21:57,141 --> 00:21:59,021
You had one night of love
375
00:21:59,101 --> 00:22:01,061
and Cilla was born from that love.
376
00:22:01,981 --> 00:22:04,301
Months later he found out
you was up the spout.
377
00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:06,781
Was on his way back,
died in a plane crash.
378
00:22:06,861 --> 00:22:09,101
Do you reckon she'll buy that?
379
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,021
Yes.
380
00:22:12,061 --> 00:22:12,900
[kiss]
381
00:22:22,460 --> 00:22:24,460
Silver lining for your black cloud.
382
00:22:27,541 --> 00:22:28,660
[mellow music playing]
383
00:22:28,741 --> 00:22:34,301
♪ Will you ever know
That you're my hero? ♪
384
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:38,381
♪ Everything I would like to be... ♪
385
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,061
This is just a warm-up.
386
00:22:41,141 --> 00:22:43,180
-[Monica singing]
-When we have the real wake,
387
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:46,981
we'll give our Debbie
one hell of a send off.
388
00:22:48,341 --> 00:22:51,460
We'll give her a celebration
she'll never forget.
389
00:22:51,541 --> 00:22:53,381
We'll never forget!
390
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,621
[Monica] ♪ Wings ♪
[laughs]
391
00:22:55,700 --> 00:22:56,660
What are you having?
392
00:22:56,741 --> 00:23:00,940
Jamie, a drink
for the future Mrs Gallagher!
393
00:23:01,021 --> 00:23:02,660
No, I'm fine thanks, Monica.
394
00:23:02,741 --> 00:23:03,741
Are you sure?
395
00:23:03,821 --> 00:23:06,021
Don't worry. He's safe.
396
00:23:06,101 --> 00:23:08,061
It's just that we've got a past,
me and him.
397
00:23:08,141 --> 00:23:11,700
-[Frank] Past!
-I gave him the best years of my life.
398
00:23:11,781 --> 00:23:13,141
-[Frank] Twice!
-[laughs]
399
00:23:13,221 --> 00:23:18,700
He's all yours, Libby.
My heart belongs to another.
400
00:23:18,781 --> 00:23:20,660
My civil partner.
401
00:23:20,741 --> 00:23:23,940
I'm gay.
Got married in a posh tent in Devon.
402
00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:24,940
Are you shocked?
403
00:23:25,021 --> 00:23:26,460
I was just wondering--
404
00:23:26,541 --> 00:23:30,660
I'm so, so sorry. It's terrible
when your children die before you.
405
00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:32,541
Not nature's way.
406
00:23:32,621 --> 00:23:35,061
You have never lost a kid.
407
00:23:35,141 --> 00:23:38,900
I might as well have lost my Rodney.
For all the use he is.
408
00:23:38,981 --> 00:23:40,741
[Frank] Oh!
409
00:23:40,821 --> 00:23:43,581
I was just wondering
when you'd be coming back to the house?
410
00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:47,141
It's Liam. He needs his mum,
he needs you there.
411
00:23:47,221 --> 00:23:50,381
[scoffs] So I'm a bad mother now?
412
00:23:50,460 --> 00:23:52,381
No, no.
413
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:55,301
Someone who can't even
produce a child of their own
414
00:23:55,381 --> 00:23:57,420
calling me a bad mother!
[fake crying]
415
00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:58,541
That's not what I said.
416
00:23:58,621 --> 00:24:03,021
Here's me grieving,
and she's telling me I'm a bad mother.
417
00:24:03,101 --> 00:24:04,660
I didn't. I didn't say that.
418
00:24:04,741 --> 00:24:09,061
Fuck sake, Libby. Show some sensitivity.
419
00:24:09,141 --> 00:24:11,621
You should be helping
instead of hindering.
420
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,861
-[Monica weeping]
-It's all right. It's okay.
421
00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:18,940
[Monica] Uh!
422
00:24:21,180 --> 00:24:22,221
[door closes]
423
00:24:22,301 --> 00:24:23,541
About before...
424
00:24:23,621 --> 00:24:26,180
The less said from you the better.
425
00:24:26,261 --> 00:24:29,420
[Frank] You need to lie down
cos you're exhausted.
426
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:31,261
[Patty] That baby will come out pie-eyed.
427
00:24:31,341 --> 00:24:32,381
[Frank] It's all right.
428
00:24:32,460 --> 00:24:34,861
She should be ashamed of herself.
429
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:37,061
Everyone deals with grief
in different ways.
430
00:24:38,381 --> 00:24:41,781
And getting pissed and moving back in
with her ex is hers, I suppose?
431
00:24:43,261 --> 00:24:45,621
I thought you were cleverer than that.
432
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:51,781
[Monica] Your aura's all wrong.
433
00:24:51,861 --> 00:24:53,660
For a soon to be married man.
434
00:24:53,741 --> 00:24:58,061
Oh, that'll be the small matter
of losing our daughter.
435
00:24:59,621 --> 00:25:01,420
Don't grieve, Love.
436
00:25:01,501 --> 00:25:04,700
She's on a higher plane.
437
00:25:04,781 --> 00:25:07,501
I studied under a Reiki master
in Glastonbury.
438
00:25:07,581 --> 00:25:08,700
[giggles]
439
00:25:08,781 --> 00:25:11,700
Three months in a yurt on Arthur's Seat.
440
00:25:13,301 --> 00:25:17,061
Your kundalini needs raising.
441
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:21,180
Your chakras can't function properly.
442
00:25:21,261 --> 00:25:23,141
Oh, I feel for you.
443
00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:27,621
There is nothing wrong with me
other than the obvious.
444
00:25:29,981 --> 00:25:32,261
You're in denial.
445
00:25:32,341 --> 00:25:34,061
Spirits battling.
446
00:25:34,141 --> 00:25:37,381
"Am I doing the right thing?"
447
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:41,581
If you mean Libby,
I am doing the right thing.
448
00:25:45,581 --> 00:25:47,981
-Someone needs to tell Fiona.
-[Patty] Then call her.
449
00:25:48,061 --> 00:25:50,101
It's not something you can do
over the phone.
450
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:53,141
-She'll be upset. Need family with her.
-She's got a husband.
451
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:56,261
I'll call you when I get there.
452
00:25:56,341 --> 00:25:58,301
And me and Fiona can drive over
and see Lip.
453
00:25:58,381 --> 00:26:00,501
There's no way I can let you leave.
454
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:02,621
You can't stop me.
455
00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:05,101
Wait there, I'll fetch your mum and dad.
456
00:26:07,581 --> 00:26:08,501
[Libby] Liam's...
457
00:26:12,581 --> 00:26:16,460
Oh... Fuck!
458
00:26:22,501 --> 00:26:23,460
Lib.
459
00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:24,420
Ouch!
460
00:26:26,781 --> 00:26:28,261
It wasn't how it looked.
461
00:26:28,341 --> 00:26:31,501
Her on her knees?
You with your trousers round your ankles?
462
00:26:31,581 --> 00:26:33,381
Libby, she was just trying it on.
463
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:36,861
You know, Indian head massages.
She was trying to raise me diphthong.
464
00:26:36,940 --> 00:26:40,460
You've got cold feet,
been having second thoughts, it's obvious.
465
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,981
I've been having them ever
since we named the day.
466
00:26:45,420 --> 00:26:46,900
Ah, fuck.
467
00:26:49,101 --> 00:26:51,180
Look, I've been thinking
about me track record,
468
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:53,900
and whether I've got the stamina
for another stab at matrimony,
469
00:26:53,981 --> 00:26:56,180
and the fact that I'm still here says yes!
470
00:26:57,141 --> 00:26:58,700
Says I still want to marry you.
471
00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:00,460
Doesn't it?
472
00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:02,141
I don't know.
473
00:27:06,581 --> 00:27:08,021
Nothing happened!
474
00:27:08,101 --> 00:27:11,220
And if you don't believe that,
let's call the whole thing off.
475
00:27:24,141 --> 00:27:26,180
I owe you an apology.
476
00:27:26,261 --> 00:27:29,180
I was rude, insensitive.
477
00:27:30,180 --> 00:27:33,781
Obviously I didn't know and, erm...
478
00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:34,940
I'm sorry.
479
00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:37,861
Cheers.
480
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:42,781
How about you buy me a drink some time?
481
00:27:43,621 --> 00:27:44,501
Make up for it.
482
00:27:45,460 --> 00:27:46,420
I don't drink.
483
00:27:47,621 --> 00:27:49,381
I'm Muslim.
484
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:50,900
You're not supposed to drink?
485
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:55,381
What about summat to eat, then?
486
00:27:55,460 --> 00:27:57,581
-Muslims eat, don't they?
-It's been known.
487
00:27:57,660 --> 00:28:00,341
Chinese buffet in town,
all you can eat for a fiver.
488
00:28:08,581 --> 00:28:10,741
Can't blame a man for trying,
can you, Ches?
489
00:28:10,821 --> 00:28:13,220
Do yourself a favour, mate...
Don't go there.
490
00:28:13,301 --> 00:28:15,021
She's more trouble than she's worth.
491
00:28:15,101 --> 00:28:18,621
You'll never change him.
Two previous wives failed miserably.
492
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:21,141
And you've got nothing
they weren't equipped with.
493
00:28:21,220 --> 00:28:22,621
It's time to admit defeat.
494
00:28:22,700 --> 00:28:23,781
Surrender.
495
00:28:24,660 --> 00:28:25,940
There's no shame in it.
496
00:28:28,861 --> 00:28:30,021
You want to be with me?
497
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:32,381
Say it!
498
00:28:33,220 --> 00:28:34,301
I want to be with you.
499
00:28:34,381 --> 00:28:35,541
[steps from stairs]
500
00:28:39,341 --> 00:28:40,460
Say it again.
501
00:28:42,501 --> 00:28:44,101
I want to be with you.
502
00:28:45,180 --> 00:28:46,660
I want to marry you.
503
00:28:48,061 --> 00:28:48,900
Prove it.
504
00:28:54,501 --> 00:28:55,700
It's a start.
505
00:28:55,781 --> 00:28:58,541
Anyway, as soon as Milly's here
in the morning, I'll be gone.
506
00:28:58,621 --> 00:28:59,501
Good.
507
00:29:03,101 --> 00:29:05,501
That's my house, you old bitch!
508
00:29:08,541 --> 00:29:10,660
It stopped being your house
when you walked out.
509
00:29:10,741 --> 00:29:12,101
For the second time.
510
00:29:12,180 --> 00:29:14,781
Oh, give it a bloody rest, Liam!
511
00:29:14,861 --> 00:29:15,861
I had to go.
512
00:29:15,940 --> 00:29:17,861
This place was killing me,
and you know it.
513
00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:19,341
Why did you come back?
514
00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:20,781
For you.
515
00:29:20,861 --> 00:29:22,980
And Carl. Your sister's dead.
516
00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:25,460
-Why did you really come back?
-I'm your mother.
517
00:29:25,541 --> 00:29:27,021
-Isn't that reason enough?
-No.
518
00:29:28,220 --> 00:29:32,021
Anyway what's between your dad
and me is above right and wrong.
519
00:29:32,101 --> 00:29:33,940
No, not now!
520
00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:36,061
Someone's trying to get through.
521
00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:39,180
Away! Away! Get away from me!
522
00:29:53,660 --> 00:29:55,821
[wailing from downstairs]
523
00:30:01,861 --> 00:30:05,061
She came to me. Debbie came to me.
524
00:30:05,141 --> 00:30:06,341
[Monica] She can't rest.
525
00:30:06,420 --> 00:30:11,581
She was holding a dress, a wedding dress,
and she was shaking her head.
526
00:30:11,660 --> 00:30:14,141
[Patty] Came to you in a dream,
as opposed to
527
00:30:14,220 --> 00:30:16,220
you just having a dream?
528
00:30:16,301 --> 00:30:19,101
[Monica] You won't stifle my spirit
with your cynicism.
529
00:30:19,180 --> 00:30:22,061
I've had visitations in the past,
all proved true.
530
00:30:22,141 --> 00:30:25,381
A coalition government,
collapse of the banking system,
531
00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:27,420
Dannii Minogue's pregnancy.
532
00:30:27,501 --> 00:30:29,021
Her spirit's in torment.
533
00:30:29,101 --> 00:30:31,460
She can't pass over until she's healed.
534
00:30:33,101 --> 00:30:35,501
Only you can heal her, Frank.
535
00:30:35,581 --> 00:30:36,460
You have the power.
536
00:30:38,101 --> 00:30:39,180
[mobile rings]
537
00:30:42,220 --> 00:30:44,460
[Monica turns off mobile]
We've got to focus,
538
00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:45,660
concentrate.
539
00:30:45,741 --> 00:30:47,621
Can you switch your phones off?
540
00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:48,821
What's going on, Mum?
541
00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:51,700
Just clearing the channels.
She's trying to come through!
542
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:54,781
[mobile ringing]
543
00:30:58,301 --> 00:30:59,501
It's bad spirits.
544
00:30:59,581 --> 00:31:01,061
[Monica hits mobile phone] Out!
545
00:31:02,180 --> 00:31:03,861
Out!
546
00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:05,061
Out!
547
00:31:06,460 --> 00:31:07,900
[door knocking]
548
00:31:09,021 --> 00:31:11,781
She's been trying to call you,
but your phone doesn't work.
549
00:31:11,861 --> 00:31:12,781
Who?
550
00:31:12,861 --> 00:31:14,220
Debbie.
551
00:31:18,301 --> 00:31:19,381
She's alive.
552
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:22,021
Alive!
553
00:31:23,180 --> 00:31:25,940
[fireworks whistling, bursting]
554
00:31:34,541 --> 00:31:38,021
Don't be waiting for a wedding invitation,
you won't be invited.
555
00:31:38,101 --> 00:31:39,261
He'll let you down.
556
00:31:40,861 --> 00:31:42,021
Might take months,
557
00:31:42,101 --> 00:31:44,021
might take years...
558
00:31:45,301 --> 00:31:46,781
probably take weeks.
559
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:49,341
But he'll let you down.
560
00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:56,700
[mouthing]
561
00:31:59,261 --> 00:32:01,980
It was just a joke, that got out of hand.
562
00:32:02,061 --> 00:32:03,621
You knew what you were doing, Mum.
563
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:07,861
[Monica] I find out our marriage is over,
in a letter.
564
00:32:07,940 --> 00:32:08,781
A letter?
565
00:32:08,861 --> 00:32:11,301
-Brought it on yourself.
-Abandonment?
566
00:32:11,381 --> 00:32:13,420
I never even had him to abandon,
567
00:32:13,501 --> 00:32:16,501
he always had something more interesting
to occupy himself with
568
00:32:16,581 --> 00:32:17,781
than me or his kids.
569
00:32:18,821 --> 00:32:21,861
I just wanted to hurt him,
like he hurt me.
570
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,940
So you tell him Debbie's dead to hurt him?
571
00:32:24,021 --> 00:32:26,261
All right, so I was wrong, naughty Mummy!
572
00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:28,621
You hurt the rest of us too.
573
00:32:28,700 --> 00:32:31,700
How dare he be so fucking happy!
574
00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:37,821
I've got 18 grand coming my way.
575
00:32:38,781 --> 00:32:39,700
Come with me.
576
00:32:39,781 --> 00:32:41,980
[exhales] No.
577
00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:43,301
Disneyland?
578
00:32:44,261 --> 00:32:45,581
Florida, not the shit one.
579
00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:51,101
[exhales] All right.
You'd better be off, then.
580
00:32:51,180 --> 00:32:53,141
I'll wait until the bus comes.
581
00:32:53,220 --> 00:32:57,141
It'll only make it worse.
Anyway, your dad'll need you.
582
00:32:57,220 --> 00:32:59,501
He'll be all right.
Stag night should sort him out.
583
00:32:59,581 --> 00:33:01,420
Stag night?
584
00:33:01,501 --> 00:33:03,061
Tonight. Bye.
585
00:33:31,740 --> 00:33:33,061
Jackson!
586
00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,460
Stag do, tonight?
587
00:33:34,541 --> 00:33:36,101
[Jackson] Sorry. I'm busy, Carl.
588
00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,101
Relatives coming.
589
00:33:37,180 --> 00:33:38,460
[Chesney] Lockdown!
590
00:33:38,541 --> 00:33:40,660
Forgot to tell you, they've cancelled.
591
00:33:40,740 --> 00:33:41,980
He'll be there.
592
00:33:43,980 --> 00:33:45,581
Fuck d'you do that for?
593
00:33:45,660 --> 00:33:48,621
It's the third time you've been asked
and the third time you've said no.
594
00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,861
What have I got in common
with any of them?
595
00:33:50,940 --> 00:33:54,940
Football, politics? I'm sure they might
not even have heard of Martin Luther King,
596
00:33:55,021 --> 00:33:57,501
and swung their pants to Bob Marley
in their time.
597
00:33:57,581 --> 00:33:59,501
-You think this is about colour?
-No.
598
00:33:59,581 --> 00:34:02,021
I think it's about you being an uptight,
599
00:34:02,101 --> 00:34:05,061
conceited tosspot
with a superiority complex.
600
00:34:05,141 --> 00:34:09,061
You're a trainee teacher,
not a fucking Nobel Prize winner.
601
00:34:09,141 --> 00:34:13,180
And if we've got any chance of fitting in
round here you'd do well to remember that.
602
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:18,501
I am not having a stag do!
603
00:34:18,581 --> 00:34:20,141
[Carl] Look, we need to celebrate.
604
00:34:20,220 --> 00:34:22,581
Liam's coming as well
to keep an eye on him.
605
00:34:22,660 --> 00:34:25,141
Someone's got to make sure
he gets home and it ain't gonna be me.
606
00:34:25,220 --> 00:34:26,220
No, no, no.
607
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:27,901
[Chesney] We need a theme.
608
00:34:27,981 --> 00:34:31,860
Come as your favourite blonde!
Er... Marilyn...
609
00:34:31,941 --> 00:34:33,621
Er... Madonna, Hulk Hogan.
610
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:34,581
Elvis?
611
00:34:34,660 --> 00:34:36,141
Ooh, I am liking that one.
612
00:34:36,220 --> 00:34:38,581
Young Elvis, old Elvis, fat Elvis.
613
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:42,141
Dead Elvis.
I am not fucking dressing up for anyone.
614
00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:44,381
Which means
there's only one thing for it, then.
615
00:34:50,660 --> 00:34:51,541
[refreshing sighs]
616
00:34:54,381 --> 00:34:56,300
[electronic dance music playing]
617
00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:01,381
-[Frank] Hand some beer, Jamie.
-Jackson, voddie chaser?
618
00:35:01,461 --> 00:35:03,701
Bit early, cheers, Jamie.
Half a lager'll do me.
619
00:35:03,780 --> 00:35:05,101
Good call, mate!
620
00:35:05,181 --> 00:35:07,101
[indistinct shouts and cheering]
621
00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:12,061
That'll loosen the fucker up a bit.
622
00:35:15,741 --> 00:35:16,860
Where's Frank's?
623
00:35:23,901 --> 00:35:25,541
That's more like it baby!
624
00:35:37,621 --> 00:35:40,581
-[techno music playing]
-[indistinct shouts]
625
00:35:40,661 --> 00:35:41,741
Yeah!
626
00:35:46,661 --> 00:35:48,300
Open them legs!
627
00:35:48,381 --> 00:35:49,661
Fuckin' have some of that!
628
00:35:49,741 --> 00:35:50,780
Uh, uh!
629
00:35:54,901 --> 00:35:56,181
[Chesney laughs]
630
00:36:10,221 --> 00:36:11,541
[Carl] Get up, lad!
631
00:36:11,621 --> 00:36:13,860
-Get up, lad!
-[all] Yeah!
632
00:36:13,941 --> 00:36:15,581
Party games!
633
00:36:15,661 --> 00:36:18,300
Oh, fuck that. How old do you think I am?
634
00:36:18,381 --> 00:36:19,701
[cheering]
635
00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:23,061
[Shane] Bouncy castle!
636
00:36:23,141 --> 00:36:24,021
[all] Yeah!
637
00:36:34,141 --> 00:36:35,300
[Shane] Pin the tail...
638
00:36:35,381 --> 00:36:36,581
on the donkey!
639
00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:38,421
[cheering]
640
00:36:44,701 --> 00:36:45,701
[man] Get it off!
641
00:36:47,741 --> 00:36:49,021
[indistinct shouts]
642
00:36:59,380 --> 00:37:01,300
[Frank] Yay!
643
00:37:01,380 --> 00:37:05,061
[all] Frank! Frank! Frank!
644
00:37:06,421 --> 00:37:07,780
[laughter]
645
00:37:07,860 --> 00:37:12,701
Hey, you know, to say that I was
not looking forward to tonight
646
00:37:12,780 --> 00:37:13,860
is an understatement.
647
00:37:13,941 --> 00:37:14,780
Ha! Obviously!
648
00:37:14,860 --> 00:37:17,461
But... it has been...
649
00:37:17,541 --> 00:37:21,581
fuckin' mon-u-fuckin'-mental.
650
00:37:21,661 --> 00:37:23,541
-[Chesney] Yeah!
-[Frank] Yeah, baby!
651
00:37:23,621 --> 00:37:25,061
Hey, do you know,
652
00:37:25,141 --> 00:37:29,661
It's times like this, when you, you...
653
00:37:29,741 --> 00:37:31,741
you know who your real friends are.
654
00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:33,661
[all] Aaah! We love you, too, Frank.
655
00:37:35,621 --> 00:37:37,541
[Chesney] Frank is getting emotional.
656
00:37:37,621 --> 00:37:39,981
Friends, brothers in arms,
657
00:37:40,061 --> 00:37:43,780
you know, who care, y'know,
who's willing to go that extra mile.
658
00:37:43,860 --> 00:37:45,101
[Jamie] Yeah, yeah...
659
00:37:45,181 --> 00:37:47,461
I think that's going a bit too far,
actually, mate.
660
00:37:47,541 --> 00:37:48,661
[all screaming]
661
00:37:53,941 --> 00:37:56,101
[Carl] Have a great night sleeping
in there!
662
00:37:57,300 --> 00:37:58,501
Bastards!
663
00:38:00,221 --> 00:38:01,380
You bast...
664
00:38:01,461 --> 00:38:04,021
[Frank shouts] Liam! Liam!
665
00:38:06,380 --> 00:38:09,421
Liam, Liam!
666
00:38:09,501 --> 00:38:11,141
[wolves howling]
667
00:38:15,061 --> 00:38:16,581
You look like shit, Mimi.
668
00:38:16,661 --> 00:38:20,221
And you sell your fanny for a living,
but do you hear me going on about that?
669
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:22,820
What was it exactly
they were arrested for?
670
00:38:23,780 --> 00:38:27,501
["Chariots of Fire" by Vangelis]
671
00:38:31,421 --> 00:38:32,340
[scratching]
672
00:38:39,300 --> 00:38:41,061
So did Frank behave himself?
673
00:38:41,141 --> 00:38:42,141
I made sure of it.
674
00:38:42,221 --> 00:38:44,061
Home. Please. Now.
675
00:38:44,141 --> 00:38:45,860
Sorry?
676
00:38:45,941 --> 00:38:47,701
She's due a feed in an hour.
677
00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:50,181
-[Avril] Good night?
-Was all right.
678
00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:52,860
Wouldn't have bothered going
if you hadn't pushed me.
679
00:38:52,941 --> 00:38:54,901
Fry up back at home, Carl.
680
00:38:54,981 --> 00:38:57,101
Vitamin C and a darkened room.
681
00:38:59,860 --> 00:39:00,901
[policeman] Morning.
682
00:39:07,061 --> 00:39:08,061
Wait!
683
00:39:11,221 --> 00:39:12,261
Where's Frank?
684
00:39:17,501 --> 00:39:21,101
It was a night of revelry, high spirits.
685
00:39:21,181 --> 00:39:24,221
All I want to know is, where is he?
686
00:39:26,741 --> 00:39:30,461
Will you please take this seriously?
Frank is missing.
687
00:39:30,541 --> 00:39:35,181
The man I intend to marry has disappeared
and I need to know where he's got to!
688
00:39:35,261 --> 00:39:39,021
Off dipping his wick somewhere
it's not wanted. Spilling his seed.
689
00:39:40,141 --> 00:39:41,380
[Jamie] Look, we're sorry.
690
00:39:41,461 --> 00:39:44,421
-We really can't remember much.
-Where did you see him last?
691
00:39:45,661 --> 00:39:46,741
Before we proceed,
692
00:39:46,820 --> 00:39:49,421
I think Liam should leave the room.
This could get ugly.
693
00:39:49,501 --> 00:39:51,141
He's fine with ugly.
694
00:39:51,221 --> 00:39:53,621
That brass was a right minger,
weren't she? [giggles]
695
00:39:57,661 --> 00:39:59,701
[indistinct shouts]
696
00:40:05,581 --> 00:40:07,300
A prostitute?
697
00:40:07,380 --> 00:40:08,380
No offence.
698
00:40:08,461 --> 00:40:11,701
None taken.
Even I draw the line at prepubescent.
699
00:40:11,780 --> 00:40:13,621
And whose bright idea was that?
700
00:40:13,701 --> 00:40:15,780
What were you doing in a brothel?
701
00:40:15,860 --> 00:40:18,181
You weren't treating
Frank to anything, were you?
702
00:40:18,261 --> 00:40:19,501
No. He weren't there, then.
703
00:40:19,581 --> 00:40:20,860
-He'd left.
-Left?
704
00:40:20,941 --> 00:40:22,901
You let him go? On his own?
705
00:40:22,981 --> 00:40:24,661
Libby, we were pissed.
706
00:40:26,941 --> 00:40:28,701
What those men did...
707
00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:31,181
To call them men!
708
00:40:31,261 --> 00:40:34,661
Your first time only happens once
and it shouldn't happen at the age of 12,
709
00:40:34,741 --> 00:40:37,621
shoved into a room with a woman old enough
to be your mother.
710
00:40:37,701 --> 00:40:38,941
She was eighteen.
711
00:40:39,021 --> 00:40:40,461
I don't know if that's worse.
712
00:40:42,501 --> 00:40:43,380
We didn't do it.
713
00:40:44,941 --> 00:40:46,021
You mean you're...
714
00:40:47,300 --> 00:40:48,901
intacto?
715
00:40:48,981 --> 00:40:52,340
I'm not sure that term applies
to the male of the species.
716
00:40:52,421 --> 00:40:56,181
I gave her the money for her time,
won it back in a game of three-card brag.
717
00:40:56,261 --> 00:40:58,661
Kept enough for a fish supper,
and a cab home.
718
00:41:01,061 --> 00:41:03,820
When was the last time you saw him?
719
00:41:03,901 --> 00:41:06,021
Think, Liam, please.
720
00:41:07,061 --> 00:41:08,261
In the cemetery.
721
00:41:09,820 --> 00:41:11,101
He'll be all right.
722
00:41:11,181 --> 00:41:12,541
I know he will be.
723
00:41:16,221 --> 00:41:17,820
Yeah.
724
00:41:17,901 --> 00:41:18,741
No.
725
00:41:19,860 --> 00:41:21,741
Yeah, but no.
726
00:41:21,820 --> 00:41:25,461
But it can't be, "Yeah, but no."
You either saw him or you didn't.
727
00:41:25,541 --> 00:41:28,181
It was someone like that, but black.
728
00:41:28,261 --> 00:41:30,501
This guy was dressed like that,
but a dwarf.
729
00:41:30,581 --> 00:41:32,421
No, he was definitely Asian.
730
00:41:32,501 --> 00:41:34,860
He had a terrible problem with saliva.
731
00:41:34,941 --> 00:41:36,021
Kept dribbling.
732
00:41:42,780 --> 00:41:44,261
These are from Mimi.
733
00:41:44,340 --> 00:41:46,701
You told her
we were having Libby's hen do here?
734
00:41:46,780 --> 00:41:48,141
-Mm-hmm.
-Why?
735
00:41:48,221 --> 00:41:51,820
Cos Libby needs cheering up,
and I fancy a bit of female company.
736
00:41:51,901 --> 00:41:52,981
Who's invited?
737
00:41:53,061 --> 00:41:55,981
Plenty more where this came from.
Loads left in the kitty, too.
738
00:41:56,061 --> 00:41:57,981
We can splash what's left on a stripper.
739
00:41:58,061 --> 00:42:01,860
Bit of a busman's holiday
for me, Lillian. No cock, please.
740
00:42:01,941 --> 00:42:05,300
So, lager, cider, vodka, mixers.
741
00:42:05,380 --> 00:42:07,941
-And no cock.
-I'll have a cock, if it's on offer.
742
00:42:08,021 --> 00:42:10,820
-You'll have to bring your own.
-Can we not just have a little cock?
743
00:42:10,901 --> 00:42:13,181
Well, a little one's
hardly worth having, is it?
744
00:42:15,860 --> 00:42:18,380
[rock music playing]
745
00:42:18,461 --> 00:42:19,981
[Jackson] Just off to the pub.
746
00:42:20,061 --> 00:42:22,061
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
747
00:42:22,901 --> 00:42:24,621
Don't rush back.
748
00:42:24,701 --> 00:42:25,541
And, ladies!
749
00:42:25,621 --> 00:42:26,661
Sorry.
750
00:42:26,741 --> 00:42:29,780
Can I just ask that you don't touch
the vinyl? Collector's items.
751
00:42:29,860 --> 00:42:32,021
Alphabetised, would you believe?
752
00:42:32,101 --> 00:42:34,461
I would, if I knew what it meant.
753
00:42:34,541 --> 00:42:36,541
I should move this, too.
754
00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:37,701
[Lillian] Bloody hell,
755
00:42:37,780 --> 00:42:40,181
-looks like a brewery under here.
-[Jackson] Ah, shit!
756
00:42:40,261 --> 00:42:41,581
You've not toasted Libby yet!
757
00:42:41,661 --> 00:42:44,221
And you're not getting out of here
until you do.
758
00:42:56,261 --> 00:43:00,340
Put a smile on your face,
for everyone else's sake, if not your own.
759
00:43:00,421 --> 00:43:03,820
Something's wrong, Mum. I can feel it.
760
00:43:03,901 --> 00:43:07,541
Liam said he's done this type of thing
a thousand times when he was with Monica.
761
00:43:07,621 --> 00:43:10,421
But he's never done it once
while he's been with me.
762
00:43:10,501 --> 00:43:12,380
Maybe he's got cold feet.
763
00:43:12,461 --> 00:43:15,261
There's no maybe about it,
the man doesn't want to marry you.
764
00:43:15,340 --> 00:43:17,541
What more does he need to do
to convince you?
765
00:43:17,621 --> 00:43:19,581
You're determined to see me unhappy.
766
00:43:19,661 --> 00:43:21,421
I'm determined to make you see sense.
767
00:43:21,501 --> 00:43:25,860
You asked him to prove he loved you,
and he's failed miserably. End of story.
768
00:43:28,581 --> 00:43:29,701
[pop music playing]
769
00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:30,621
[Jamie] All right?
770
00:43:30,701 --> 00:43:32,661
Don't mind, do you?
The pub was a bit empty.
771
00:43:32,741 --> 00:43:34,701
[Avril]
Food's that way, booze on the table.
772
00:43:34,780 --> 00:43:38,300
Anything could land us in Court's
in the backyard, and at your own risk.
773
00:43:42,021 --> 00:43:43,461
How many's he had?
774
00:43:44,661 --> 00:43:45,741
One.
775
00:43:46,701 --> 00:43:48,061
Yes, lads! You made it!
776
00:43:48,141 --> 00:43:49,300
[cheering]
777
00:43:49,380 --> 00:43:50,221
[Micky] Jackson!
778
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:54,621
I think Mum might be right.
Maybe I pushed him too far,
779
00:43:54,701 --> 00:43:56,661
made too many demands.
780
00:43:56,741 --> 00:43:58,221
Maybe I've frightened him off.
781
00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:03,340
Maybe he's sleeping off
the mother of all hangovers,
782
00:44:03,421 --> 00:44:06,141
and you'll see him bright
and bushy-eyed tomorrow morning.
783
00:44:07,501 --> 00:44:10,820
Chill, Libs. Stress is a killer!
784
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:14,181
Never happier than when she's got
something to complain about.
785
00:44:15,221 --> 00:44:17,061
[all women cheering]
786
00:44:17,141 --> 00:44:18,501
Will you look at that?
787
00:44:21,380 --> 00:44:22,661
Terrible behaviour.
788
00:44:22,741 --> 00:44:25,300
Off! Off! Off!
789
00:44:25,380 --> 00:44:27,380
Off! Off! Off!
790
00:44:31,141 --> 00:44:32,820
What is it you're on, Mimi?
791
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:39,221
[all] Off! Off! Off!
792
00:44:46,021 --> 00:44:46,900
[all shut up]
793
00:44:46,981 --> 00:44:48,581
[Patty] Holy Mother preserve us!
794
00:44:56,621 --> 00:44:58,741
Come on, Mimi, it's not that big!
795
00:44:58,820 --> 00:44:59,661
Come on, Mum.
796
00:44:59,741 --> 00:45:00,621
Mum?
797
00:45:01,541 --> 00:45:02,780
Oh, fuck! Ambulance. Quick!
798
00:45:02,860 --> 00:45:04,300
[Micky] Mam? Mam!
799
00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:06,541
-[Jamie] Shit. Gis your phone.
-[Micky] Mam?
800
00:45:14,501 --> 00:45:15,621
[Kelly] Good luck, Mimi!
801
00:45:18,461 --> 00:45:20,141
[siren wailing]
802
00:45:28,421 --> 00:45:30,340
Frank!
803
00:45:30,421 --> 00:45:32,780
[echoes] Frank!
804
00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:38,141
[Frank] And even if you do find
that you are indeed
805
00:45:38,221 --> 00:45:41,061
the only being in existence
806
00:45:41,141 --> 00:45:45,300
and that everyone else,
everything else in your world
807
00:45:45,380 --> 00:45:48,501
is merely a figment of your imagination.
808
00:45:48,581 --> 00:45:51,741
Just enjoy it!
809
00:45:51,820 --> 00:45:53,820
[thunder-like sound]
810
00:46:10,860 --> 00:46:12,941
[Monica] I heard a whisper
that Frank's missing.
811
00:46:13,021 --> 00:46:14,780
[Frank] Libby!
We have to get back to Libby!
812
00:46:14,860 --> 00:46:16,421
[Jamie] You're not up
to running the business.
813
00:46:16,501 --> 00:46:17,421
Bollocks!
814
00:46:17,501 --> 00:46:18,820
I'm married to the head of the family now.
815
00:46:18,900 --> 00:46:21,221
[loud moaning]
816
00:46:21,300 --> 00:46:23,501
[Patty] So if I make a complaint,
you could lose your job?
817
00:46:23,581 --> 00:46:26,181
[Monica] Liam and Stella are my babies,
and they should be with me.
818
00:46:26,261 --> 00:46:28,141
[Jamie] If it carries on like this
819
00:46:28,221 --> 00:46:29,941
we'll lose the business
or someone'll get hurt.
820
00:46:30,021 --> 00:46:31,701
Finish it now!
821
00:46:31,780 --> 00:46:33,141
[yells] Yes!
822
00:46:33,221 --> 00:46:34,340
Yes!
823
00:46:34,421 --> 00:46:36,181
[Avril] You called the council.
824
00:46:36,261 --> 00:46:38,021
[Carl]
You're not taking Liam and Stella away.
825
00:46:38,101 --> 00:46:40,021
[Libby] We have got to find your father.
826
00:47:23,820 --> 00:47:26,061
[Frank] You hear about
these alien abductions
827
00:47:26,141 --> 00:47:29,741
and it's all terror and fear.
One-eyed green monsters
828
00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:33,421
dragging you 'across the universe
to aid their experiments.
829
00:47:35,300 --> 00:47:37,461
But that's not been my experience.
830
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:42,181
Quite the opposite, in fact.
831
00:47:42,261 --> 00:47:44,461
No complaints thus far.
832
00:47:44,541 --> 00:47:46,541
No interference of any sort, you know,
833
00:47:46,621 --> 00:47:49,741
no temperature taken, no
blood pressure, no blood samples.
834
00:47:49,820 --> 00:47:52,380
Even managed to escape
the old anal probing.
835
00:47:57,701 --> 00:47:59,661
I think I spoke too soon.
836
00:48:04,780 --> 00:48:07,541
Argh!
837
00:48:09,061 --> 00:48:10,300
[moans in pain]
91342
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